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Narrator: This is your life and it's ending one minute at a time.
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Tyler Durden: How much can you know about yourself if you've never been in a fight?
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[after vigorous sex with Tyler Durden]
Marla Singer: I haven't been fucked like that since grade school!
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Narrator: I am Jack's smirking revenge.
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Tyler Durden: Our generation has had no Great Depression, no Great War. Our war is
spiritual. Our depression is our lives.
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Tyler Durden: We are a generation of men raised by women. I'm beginning to wonder if
another woman is what we really need.
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Narrator: First one through this door gets a, gets a LEAD SALAD!
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Narrator: Marla was like that cut on the roof of your mouth that would go away if you'd
stop tonguing it, but you can't.
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Tyler Durden: I look the way you want to look, I fuck the way you want to fuck.
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Boss: Is that your blood?
Narrator: Some of it, yeah.
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Narrator: I wanted to destroy something beautiful.
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Tyler Durden: You are not your job. You are not the money in your bank account. You are
not the car you drive. You are not how much money is in your wallet. You are not your
fucking khakis. You are the all-singing, all-dancing crap of the world.
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Narrator: With insomnia, you're never really asleep; you're never really awake.
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Tyler Durden: We were raised on television to believe that we'd all be millionares, movie
gods, rock stars, but we won't. And we're starting to figure that out.
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Tyler Durden: Self improvement is masturbation. Self destruction is the answer.
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Tyler Durden: Whoa! Now you're shooting a gun at your imaginary friend near four hundred
gallons of nitroglycerine.
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Tyler Durden: You are not special. You are not a beautiful or unique snowflake. You are
the same decaying organic matter as everything else.
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Narrator: With a gun in your mouth, you speak only in vowels.
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Narrator: On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero.
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Tyler Durden: First rule of Fight Club, you do not talk about Fight Club. Second rule of
Fight Club, you DO NOT talk about Fight Club. Third rule of Fight Club, when someone say
"stop" or goes limp, the fight is over. Fourth rule of Fight Club, only two guys
to a fight. Fifth rule of Fight Club, one fight at a time. Sixth rule of Fight Club, no
shirt, no shoes. Seventh rule of Fight Club, fights go on as long as they have to. Eighth
and final rule of Fight Club, if this is your first night at Fight Club, you have to
fight.
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Narrator: We were selling rich women their own fat asses back to them.
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Narrator: When people think you're dying, they listen, instead of waiting for their turn
to speak.
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Tyler Durden: It's only after you've lost everything that you're free to do anything.
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[To Jack, after meeting and having sex with Marla]
Tyler Durden: Man, you've got some weird fucking friends. Limber, though...
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Tyler Durden: The things you own end up owning you.
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Narrator: Well, what do you want me to do? You just want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden: C'mon, do me this one favor.
Narrator: Why?
Tyler Durden: Why? I don't know why; I don't know. Never been in a fight. You?
Narrator: No, but that's a good thing.
Tyler Durden: No, it is not. How much can you know about yourself, you've never been in a
fight? I don't wanna die without any scars. So come on; hit me before I lose my nerve.
Narrator: This is crazy.
Tyler Durden: So go crazy. Let 'er rip.
Narrator: I don't know about this.
Tyler Durden: I don't either. Who gives a shit? No one's watching. What do you care?
Narrator: Whoa, wait, this is crazy. You want me to hit you?
Tyler Durden: That's right.
Narrator: What, like in the face?
Tyler Durden: Surprise me.
Narrator: This is so fucking stupid...
[Narrator swings, connects against Tyler's head]
Tyler Durden: Motherfucker! You hit me in the ear!
Narrator: Well, Jesus, I'm sorry.
Tyler Durden: Ow, Christ... why the ear, man?
Narrator: Guess I fucked it up...
Tyler Durden: No, that was perfect!
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[Tyler and Narrator are discussing ideal opponents.]
Tyler Durden: OK: any historic figure.
Narrator: I'd fight Gandhi.
Tyler Durden: Good answer.
Narrator: How about you?
Tyler Durden: Lincoln.
Narrator: Lincoln?
Tyler Durden: Big guy, big reach. Skinny guys fight 'til they're burger.
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Narrator: A new car built by my company leaves somewhere traveling at 60 mph. The rear
differential locks up. The car crashes and burns with everyone trapped inside. Now: should
we initiate a recall? Take the number of vehicles in the field, A, multiply by the
probable rate of failure, B, multiply by the average out-of-court settlement, C. A times B
times C equals X. If X is less than the cost of a recall, we don't do one.
Business woman on plane: Are there a lot of these kinds of accidents?
Narrator: You wouldn't believe.
Business woman on plane: Which car company do you work for?
Narrator: A major one.
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Tyler Durden: How's that working out for you?
Narrator: What?
Tyler Durden: Being clever.
Narrator: Great.
Tyler Durden: Keep it up, then.
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Tyler Durden: You have a kind of sick desperation in your laugh.
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Tyler Durden: Our fathers were our models for God. If they bailed, what does that tell you
about God? You have to be prepared for the possibility that God does not like you.
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Tyler Durden: Sticking feathers up your butt does not make you a chicken.
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Tyler Durden: If you could fight any man in history, who would you fight?
Narrator: Gandhi.
Tyler Durden: Good answer!
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Narrator: I am Jack's cold sweat.
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[Holding up a wad of cash]
Marla Singer: You're not getting this back. I consider it asshole tax.
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Narrator: If I had a tumor, I'd name it Marla.
