Quotable quotes

Quotes are always fun things to have around, whether you're using them in a conversation, filling out a profile, or just plain blurting them out randomly in a silenced room. Enjoy these words of "wisdom" if you dare.

• "Ah, kids. The ultimate ecological disaster." ---Drew (Peace Party)
• "AAAAHHH!!!! WE'RE ALL GOING TO BE NULLIFIED!!!"---Enzo (Reboot)
• "Always remember that you're unique, just like everyone else."---Anonymous
• "Am I hearing things that didn't happen??"--My mom's friend
• 'An optimist is a person who sees a green light everywhere, while a pessimist sees only the red stoplight... The truly wise person is color-blind." ---Albert Schweitzer, philosopher, physician, musician, Nobel laureate (1875-1965)
• "A PBS mind in an MTV world..."---anonymous
• "...And THIS," Margaret boasted as she threw open the door, "Is the bathroom!"---(from a radio commercial about a remodeling company)
• ".....Back to the closet." ---My art teacher
• "BAD COP! NO DONUT!"---from a poster
• "Be quiet or I'll knock the cholesterol out of you!"--Jesse (pokemon)
• "Bomb Technician: If you see me running, try and keep up!" ---From a T-shirt
• "Brother...what a way to run a railroad!"---Daffy Duck
• "By the stubbing of my thumb, something stupid this way comes."---Joel (MST3K-Cave Dwellers)
• "the closest thing u will ever come to a brain storm is a light drizzle" ---anonymous saying (aol quotes)
• "DON'T criticize my mess, UNLESS you'd like to BECOME a part of it!"---from a poster
• "Don't interrupt me when I'm talking to myself!" ---From a T-shirt
• "Don't make me come down there!"---'God' (from a plaque)
• "Do vegetarians eat animal crackers?" ---anonymous (aol quotes)
• "Education is what allows for you to get into more intelligent trouble."--anonymous "Everyone has a purpose in life. Perhaps yours is watching TV." ---David Letterman
• "Everyone here brings happiness. Some by coming in...others by leaving..." ---From a poster
• "Fame hasn't changed my life or who I am, but I have health insurance now."--Heather Donahue (star of the Blair Witch Project)
• "Give me the coffee and no one gets hurt!!"--from a sticker
• "God made elks, god made deers,God made NSYNC a bunch of QUEERS" ---anonymoous (aol 'quotes')
• "we talk too much; we should talk less and draw more."---Johann Wolfgang Von Goethe
• "Have you ever noticed? Anybody going slower than you is an idiot. And anyone going faster than you is a maniac."---Gearge Carlin
• "Here I am, fifty-eight, and I still don't know what I want to be when I grow up."---Peter Drucker
• "How dost thou suck? Let me count thy wounds! 1,2,3..." ---Urien,SF3 Third Strike
• "I do what my Rice Krispies tell me to."---anonymous
• "I belive in anything that causes mass hysteria."---Robby Takac
• "I can only please one person a day, and today AIN'T your day (Tomorrow isn't looking too good either"! ---From a poster
• "If I brought a ball of plutonium the size of a grapefruit into the room and said 'Hey guys, look what I got!', we'd all be dead in a week!" ---My history teacher (explaining the dangers of plunium used to build atomic bombs)
• "If I was killed, I would feel that it was a very bad day."--My History teacher
• "If I was to run down the street waving a knife screaming 'I'm Christ! This is the Second Coming! I'm coming for you!!', I would be declared clinically insane and not allowed to purchase a gun."---My History teacher (explaining the conditions of the Second Amendment)
• "If you make the big dog angry, the big dog will bite you--Never kick the big dog."--My History Teacher
• "I got it, nobody told me. I didn't get it, nobody told me. I figured, 'that's life', and went back to my meatballs." ---Sophia (The Golden Girls)
• "I had one but the wheels fell off." ---a British phrase for when someone has just said something technical and you have no clue what they are talking about.
• "I'm in my twilight years!" "You're in the twilight ZONE!!"---Sophia and Dorthy (The Golden Girls)
• "I'm not really buff--I just say I am."--My friend, Freaky Geek
• "I'm offended by you in 75 different ways!"---anonymous student
• "I'm surrounded by idiots of my own design!" ---Joel (MST3K, "Robot Monster")
• "I must only use my powers to annoy!"---Bart Simpson
• "In life only three things are assured - death, taxes and that whatever misses Sonic will hit Tails." --- Nemo Incognito
• "Invention, my dear friends, is 93% perspiration, 6% electricity, 4% evaporation, and 2% butterscotch ripple." --Willy Wonka (Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory)
• "I plead contemporary insanity!"---anonymous
• "I refuse to be watered today! I'm going home!" ---My History Teacher (In response to the announcement that the "sprinklers were going to be tested")
• "I sold my dog AND my soul for this calculator!"---anonymous student
• "It's a walrus! It's a bathtub! It's SPRAAYMAAN!!" ---man (The Electric company)
• "It sure as heck beats the pahana's attitude of "Shoot the damn things, they're making a mess." ---Drew (Peace Party)
• "It's not stupid! It's advanced!" ---The All mighty Tallest (Invader Zim)
• "JUST POUR THE COFFEE...AND BACK AWAY SLOWLY!!" ---From a T-shirt
• King:"Where is Polonius?"
  Hamlet:"In Heaven. Send thither to see. If your messenger find him not there, seek him i' the other place yourself." ---The King and Hamlet (Shakespear's "Hamlet")
• "Man, it'd SUCK to have all your friends frozen like Otter Pops!"---Carson Daly
• "My barely adequate psychic defenses are crumbling !" ---Neil's hippie friend Neil (The Young Ones)
• "No matter how hard I try, I just can't get the feezer to warm up my tv dinner.....!?" ---Freakygeek
• "Not the brightest crayon in the box now are we?"---anonymous
• "Ociffer, I swear to drunk Im not God!!!!!!" ---anonymous (aol quotes)
• "OKAY! WHO PUT THE REHAB NUMBER ON THE COFFEE POT??"---The Norm
• "One by one, the penguins steal my sanity."---from a T-shirt
• "Oh, WOW! It's like the kettle commited suicide rather than be used by me!"--Neil, after the tea kettle exploded (The Young Ones)
• "NO! NO! Now Go Away Before I Replace You With A Very Small Shell Script!" ---Thinkgeek.com
• "Now there sits a man with an open mind. Why, you can even feel the draft from here." -Groucho Marx
• "Prepare to meet your doom, buzz-bug with wings that fly!" ---Ed (Ed, Edd, and Eddie)
• "Quoth the rooster, 'Where's the floor??'"---Orsen the Pig (Garfield and Friends)
• "Remember, you laugh now-I laugh when I grade your test!" ---Mr. Collins (my former Physics teacher)
• "So why are you selling ice cream, 'ruler of the universe'?" ---Gene Starwind (Outlaw Star)
• "See if you can't find something else to play with that will kill some more of you!"---Mrs. Littlejohn ("Spotted Horses"-Faulkner)
• "Sir...if we should happen to tread on a land mine....what do we do?" "Well, the normal procedure is to jump 200 feet into the air, and scatter yourself over a wide area!"---George and Black Adder (Black Adder Goes Forth)
• "So answer me this: In these alternate universes...is there.....geometry??"---anonymous student
• "STOP THE WORLD--I WANNA GET OFF!"---Lucy (Charlie Brown and Snoopy show)
• "That garbadge can on steroids is getting on my nerves!"---Randy (Guardian Heroes)
• "The abucus supplies one solution to this problem since it is a mechanical device that will do your adding for you with a minimum exercise of your own intellect. You won't even need to stay near those infuriating sheep, but can go indoors.---Isaac Asimov
• "THE ANGEL OF DEATH?? I was riding around in a car with THE ANGEL OF DEATH??!!"--Woman (Touched by an Angel)
• "The Democrats will take you to Hell in a hand basket, the Republicans will take you there in a shopping cart!" ---Sean David Morton
• "The gene pool could use a little chlorine..."---anonymous
• "There are two things an Italian will not do: endorse bad pizza...and file for tax returns!"--Sophia (the Golden Girls)
• "There are 10 types are of people in this world, those who understand binary and those who don't" ---Unknown
• "They say fame comes at a price. Well it sure ain't no blue light special." ---Space Ghost (Space Ghost Coast to Coast)
• "This calls for a very special blend of psychology and extreme violence."---Vyvyan (The Young Ones)
• "This isn't an office! It's Hell with florescent lighting!"---anonymous (Just for laughs, Weekly World News)
• "This is not Burger King! You can't have it 'you're way'!"---from a poster
• "Uh oh, looks like a prozac moment!"---Beast man (Dragon Force)
• "Uh oh, we're in Greece!"---anonymous student
• "Video games don't affect kids. I mean, if Pac-Man affected us as kids, we'd all be running around in darkened rooms munching pills and listening to repetitive music." ---From an AOL signature
• "Watch it, your halo is shifting..."---My language arts teacher
• "What have I been smoking?? Nothing!! ---Maybe that's the problem!" ---Freaky Geek
• "What the hell are all these M's doing all over the place??!" ----My mom Vs. the Karaoke Machine
• "When the going gets tough, the tough go unconscience!" ---Freakygeek
• "Whether the pitcher hits the stone, or the stone hits the pitcher, it goes ill with the pitcher." ---Sancho Panza (Cervantes's "Don Quixote")
• "Who died and made you Alice Cooper?" ---From a T-shirt
• "Women may be from Venus and Men may be from Mars, but suckers are definitely from the planet Earth!" ---Radio spokesman (On how an internet company is offering to sell land-claims rights on planet Venus and Mars for $20)
• "WORK, little nerds! WORK!!"---Teacher
• "Yeah? Well, you're a self-centered tedious neurotic whose attempts at writing are the literary equivalent of Valium." ---"Gary" (The Tandem Story-Hecklers.com [supposedly offered by an English professor at Southern Methodist University])
• "Yes I believe in magic! NOW can I have my free Big Mac with Super Size fries and soft drink?"---anonymous
• "You call those 'wares?' They look more like 'whats' or 'whys!' " ---Iago (Aladdin, the Animated Series)
• "You don't have to be crazy to work here...but it HELPS!"---Space Ghost (space ghost coast to coast)
• "You know, Country Charm ice cream is made in New Mexico for New Mexicans!"---The country Charm radio commercial
• "You know what? I don't think we're weird, we're just suicidal!"--Freaky Geek,On methods of transportation (cardboard cars are no substitute for the real thing...)
• "You......
  Me.....
  Battlefield.....
  NOW!!" ---Reinhart (Dragon Force)
• "You're some weirdo-naming your helicopter!" ---Guy Kazama (Last Alert)
• "Your heart is in the right place...but I don't know where the hell your brain is!" ---Sophia (the Golden Girls)
• "You run over people and they get all bent out of shape!" ---anonymous student (who apparently didn't realize the pun in what she had just said)