This was something I wrote for a short story comp last November, and got 1st in it. It's not based on a true story. For part of my GCSE we had to write a poem about "when time stood still" and I took the ideas from that and put them into a short story. I didn't actually write it as a fanfic, but the character's called Lee (wasn't actually thinkin bout Lee Ryan) so it could sorta pass as fanfic. Anyway, just thougt I'd post it here for you guys to read if you want.
Who’d have thought it. At 19 you think you have forever. Time doesn’t even seem an issue. Why worry about doing things before something happens? Sure you have years before you really need to make the most of every moment. Like most people my age, that’s how I viewed life. I didn’t see any point in worrying if things weren’t going well, there was plenty of time. Why not just wait and everything would sort itself out. The thought of the time we have being so precious didn’t mean a lot. You just don’t think of having it all snatched away from you like that. If only we could see into the future, realise that nothing can go on forever, and that you have to make the most of every moment and not waste it on insignificant squabbles.
I guess you’re wondering what I’m talking about? Quite deep thoughts for someone so young? Unfortunately there are some things in life which jolt you out of what in ways in a child-like innocence. Not so long ago, that’s what happened me. Lee and I had been together about 18 months. I’m one of these people who’s got quite a quick temper. You’ve heard of the fiery red-heads? That’s me, only I’m dark, not a red-head. Lee was a bit like that as well, although perhaps not just as quick to flare up as I was. You can imagine what our relationship was like. Let’s just say it was boring. But don’t think we spent all our time loosing our tempers and arguing. It wasn’t like that. Deep down, we did love each other, and surely the occasional argument is better than awkward silences. The thing is, I don’t think either of us took it really seriously. We were both young, and as I’ve said, time wasn’t something we thought about. It’s something I think about now though, ever since I lost Lee. It’s almost as if a part of me died when he did.
We’d been having a few bad months. Every relationship has its ups and downs, a few months later and we’d never be thinking about it. About a month ago, things had started to get a bit better again, like we knew they would. We’d decided to take a break, to get away from everything for a few days. It was fairly basic, with both of us being at university we didn’t really have much money to throw around on the non-essentials. But that didn’t matter. OK, we weren’t going to be staying a big five-star hotel, but the important thing was that we’d be spending time together. It felt so nice to get away from the busy monotony of day to day life at home. To be away, free of all the worries we had at home, it was great. Even if you turned on the TV, all you heard about on the news was fighting, shootings, stabbings, death and destruction everywhere. It could almost have been as some unseen power was controlling everything, intent on running society into the ground.
Those few days, it really was just spending quality time together. The past few months seemed to just disappear, as if they’d never happened. What had it all been about anyway? Something trivial, because I cant even remember. It was all too good to last, although that thought couldn’t have further out of our minds. I remember it like it was yesterday. A lovely sunny day, the sky was cloudless and bright blue. It was nice and warm, but not unbearably hot. Everything was just right. A perfect end to a few perfect days. We got back into the car, ready to head home. It was quite ironic, but we’d decided to try and take our relationship a bit more seriously, forget all the silly squabbles. If they didn’t matter, don’t have them. Well, we could try at least. It was almost like we realised that time did matter and we didn’t have forever, but unknown to us, it was too late. We weren’t going to have that opportunity to forget about silly squabbles.
We were driving along the road, on our way home. Everything was still going well, in fact, we were laughing and enjoying ourselves. I remember Lee saying about how he wished it didn’t have to end. That’s when it happened. Another car pulled across in front of us. You know what’s like in the movies, the way it’s shown in slow motion. That’s what it was like. I could see every little thing, the look of horror and fear on Lee’s face, him braking, the other car getting closer and closer. Ours didn’t stop, the sound of screeching tyres was horrible, but nothing compared to the sickening crunch of metal as the two cars collided. I don’t remember hearing my screams, but I know I was screaming. Then there silence, a deathly quietness. But I’d no idea what was happening. My first thought was Lee, was he OK? I knew I was alive, but what about him? He had to be. I turned my head a little to the right, all I could really see was the airbag.... and blood. My stomach tightened and I felt sick. I tried to open the door, but it wouldn’t open. “Lee? Lee? Are you OK?” I needed some kind of of reassurance, but there was no answer.
It seemed like hours, but it couldn’t have been that long. Maybe 10 or 15 minutes. I knew there were people out there, but what could they do? They were as helpless as I was. Then I heard the sound of ambulances, police cars, the fire brigade. That had to be good, they’d get me out of it, and Lee. It just had to be OK. After that, everything was a daze. There people at my side of the car, who? I didn’t know. I didn’t care. They must have got the door cut open, but all I really remember is them helping me out. I’d got off quite lucky; whiplash, quite a few cuts and bruises, but nothing serious. Hopefully Lee had been as lucky, or almost as lucky. Some of medical team wrapped a blanket round me, and helped me into the ambulance. I didn’t want to go without Lee, but they didn’t listen. They told me they’d be bringing him shortly in another ambulance. I turned to look at the wreck, surrounded by people. Then I burst into tears, I couldn’t help it, it was all too much.
The thing I remember most about the hospital is the smell. It stinks of cleanliness. I remember sitting, waiting, with doctors and nurses going about their business. It felt like I was watching another world going on around me. A doctor had told me they’d brought my boyfriend in. “Lee, his name’s Lee.” I remember telling him that in a stiff voice that didn’t sound like mine. But then I just sat there, waiting. Then a doctor came through the double doors further down the corridor. I stood up as he got nearer, wanting, yet not wanting, to know what he was going to say.
“I’m sorry miss...”
He never got to finish his sentence. The feeling I had when he told me that is indescribable.
“No!” I cried, before falling back into the seat, crying uncontrollably. I felt someone sit down beside me and put their arm around me, but I shook it off. It just felt like someone had ripped my heart out, that I’d lost some essential for living. I felt like part of me had died as well. Why did it have to happen? Why didn’t the doctors do something to save him? Why had I been spared, when he hadn’t? I shouted at the doctor, all the hurt and anger spilling out. But it wasn’t going to do any good. I just sat there, exhausted from everything. Not knowing what to do. Time seemed like it was standing still.
A month later, and it still seems like yesterday. What isn’t a daze is crystal clear. I can’t understand why it all happened? Why, just as things were going to change. At least he knew how much he meant to be, I’m glad he didn’t go not knowing. It takes something like this to make you realise how important time is. It can be cruel, you never know when it can snatch away someone you love so much, without giving you any warning.
But what I do regret is all the time we wasted with those silly little arguments. What did they mean? Nothing...... and that’s what I’m left with now.
Nothing.
