The label on the chain-saw warning that: You should not try to stop the blade with your hand.
The label from the company manufacturing wing mirrors for cars and bikes warning; Remember, objects seen in the mirror are behind you.
The label on the camera stating; To take photographs this camera must have a film in it.
The labeling on Sainsbury's Peanuts stating; Contains nuts
And on the subject of nuts, the instructions on the packet of Peanuts provided by an airline which states; Instructions: Open Packet. Eat Contents.
The cigarette lighter label which warned; Do not light the flame near the face.
The Marks and Spencer Bread and Butter pudding whose label states the classically obvious: Take care - Product will be hot after heating
Rowenta, manufacturers of electric irons felt the need to instruct users that; Do not iron clothes whilst on the body.
Nytol, the herbal sleeping mixture whose label proclaims; Warning may cause drowsiness.
The American manufactured insect spray whose proud boast 'Kills all Insects' and was then labeled; Warning - this spray is harmful to bees
On a Sears hairdryer: Do not use while sleeping.
On a bag of Fritos: You could be a winner! No purchase necessary.
Details inside. (The shoplifter special.)
On a bar of Dial soap: Directions: Use like regular soap.
On a Swann frozen dinners: Serving suggestion: Defrost. (But it's just
a suggestion.)
On Tesco's tiramisu dessert (printed on the bottom of box): Do not
turn upside-down.
On Marks & Spencer bread pudding: Product will be hot after heating.
On Boot's children's cough medicine: "Do not drive a car or operate
machinery after taking this medication."
On Nytol sleep aid: Warning: May cause drowsiness.
On most brands of Christmas lights: "For indoor or outdoor use only."
(As opposed to what?)
On a Japanese food processor: Not to be used for the other use. (I
gotta admit, I'm curious.)
On Sainsbury's peanuts: "Warning: contains nuts."
On an American Airlines packet of peanuts: "Instructions: Open packet,
eat nuts."
On a child's Superman costume: "Wearing of this garment does not
enable you to fly." (I don't blame the company, I blame the parents
for this one.)
On a Swedish chain saw: "Do not attempt to stop chain with your hands
or genitals."