This Mississippi native is out, proud and fabulous. With his see-through tops, and shame-resistant slacks, Emmett has to be voted the "Most-Likely-To-Stop-Traffic" on Liberty Avenue. But if you look beyond his queerliscious wardrobe and witty repartee, this "retail queen" is also a man of integrity and an observer of human nature who truly enjoys offering advice to anyone who needs it, whether they ask for it or not.
Since keeping up with Emmett's outfits is tough enough, here's a little guide to help keep you on top of his relationships.
Emmett and Ted are simply best friends. Both would die for each other or at least rent a porn star to stop the other from becoming a born-again heterosexual. Like Brian and Michael always being there for each other, Ted and Emmett always seem to have each other's shoulder on which to lean. When Ted thinks he might have contracted HIV, it's Emmett who agrees to get tested with him. And when Ted once again falls for the ill-fated Blake, it's Emmett who puts their friendship on the line by telling Ted to wise-up and dump the drug addict. But when Blake finally does break Ted's heart, it's Emmett who is still there to pick up the pieces—without even a hint of "I told you so."
Emmett, now a star, felt that Ted was not giving him the proper credit he deserved. How dare Ted take Emmett's large contribution so lightly. He made that lousy website a success! Angered over Ted's refusal to meet his diva-ish demands he promptly quit Ted's JerkatWork.net website...as well as their friendship. But Emmett missed Ted...and he missed the work. When Ted offered an olive branch - i.e., top shelf lube and Emmett's name in lights - Emmett felt his anger drift away. Some things are far more important than fame or one's bank account...or whether the lube used is regular or platinum brand.
At first Emmett can't believe Ted is in love with him. It seems ridiculous, and just a little bit sad. Emmett never expected it. But what he really didn't expect is that he would suddenly find himself kissing Ted in the middle of Babylon. Could this be the beginning of the greatest romance Pittsburgh has ever seen?
Emmett is part of the quartet of friends that fill Michael's life. Like everyone else, Emmett completely adores Michael, and knows him better than anyone. After all, he was Michael's roommate for over two years. Sometimes it seems Emmett knows Michael better than Michael knows himself. Like when Michael insists he's not "dating" Dr. Dave, it's Emmett who points out the signposts of what it means to date someone and sure enough our fabulous Emmett is fabulously correct. He's also happy to play teacher to his dear friend, instructing him in the proprieties of how to eat at a fancy restaurant, or how to pack for a romantic weekend with the Doc. Which, of course, is not much more than a pack of condoms, a jar of lube and a change of underwear. Sometimes Emmett feels it's necessary to put Michael in his place. When Michael, having gotten a little too big for his britches, tried to exclude his old friends (Emmett, Ted, Debbie etc.) from a snobby political fundraiser for a local politician, it's Emmett who showed up dressed as Jackie Kennedy (Post Jackwith a little cocktail sauce thrown on for effect.)
Emmett first saw Brent across the dance floor at Babylon. Their eyes met, and suddenly the world seemed to melt into one glorious moment from a 1950s musical—specifically the dance scene in the gym from West Side Story. It was like they were made for each other. They shared the same taste in music and fashion and loved the same celebrities. They kissed. It was magic. For 45 glorious minutes Emmett and Brent shared a classic Saturday night dance club love affair: short, sweet and with a techno beat. But soon the 45 minutes were up, and "the greatest-love-of-all" moved on to another man, turning Emmett's heart into another dance-floor-disaster. Perhaps they will not "always have Paris," but they will always remember that one special three-quarters of an hour in Babylon...well, at least until the following weekend.
Porn star Zack O'Toole had always been Emmett's (wet) dream man. But timing is everything, and when Zack showed up at Emmett's door — thanks to Ted paying the porn mega-star $1,000 for his services — Emmett was in the midst of "seeing the light" (a.k.a. trying to force himself to be straight) and, because of this religious fervor, he was unable to receive Zack biblically. It seems not even the towering, throbbing, porn superstar could shake Emmett's determination not to be tempted.
Emmett met Heather at his "See The Light" meetings. A date with her was his next step in "seeing the light" and transforming himself from homo to born-again hetero. Sure she was butch, but she was as committed to changing as Emmett was. The big challenge came when they decided to have a "success story"which, in normal language means, "screw someone of the opposite sex." After a false start they assisted their copulating by each imagining a famous person of the opposite sex who they wouldn't mind bedding. Did they do it? Sure they did. Would they do it again? Uh...nope. They may have seen the light, but they didn't feel the fire.
Emmett and Vic had never been that close. But when Vic was ready to confess to a crime he didn't commit in order to avoid an embarrassing trial, Emmett took it upon himself to bring Vic some homemade pie and to share a story from his youth; a story about a beloved teacher who lost his good name. This bonding between Emmett and Vic changed the course of events. Of course, Vic never knew that Emmett completely fabricated the touching storybut that didn't even matter. Vic did the right thing, and Emmett respected him for it.
Blair and Blaine seemed like the perfect, proudly monogamous gay male couple,
and Emmett was happy to be hired as their "maid." They were such a
contrast from the harsh realities of his promiscuous friends. But when both
Blair and Blaine instigated some exceedingly un-monogamous activities with
Emmett, he sadly cursed himself for threatening the very foundation of their
love. How could he be so cheap and trashy? (Pretty easily actually.) But soon
Emmett realized that the fault lay not in his own sluttish ness but rather with
preachy couples who claim they are monogamous but really never were. And so,
with his hero's hypocrisy exposed, Emmett put his feather duster back in his
bag, and proudly and promiscuously...walked out.
When Emmett found out he had a wealthy secret admirer he imagined some dashing young Prince Charming. However, when he finally came face to face with the real Tiffany-tossing, millionaire...well...lets just say he was not at all pleased. George Schickel was indeed a millionaire...but he was not young...in fact some might describe him as old-as-dirt. He offered to pay Emmett for a command performance. Emmett felt disgusted. How dare he think Emmett was a common whore. Emmett was an artiste. But then Emmett started to get to know the real George Schickel, and...miracle of miracles...he started to fall for the older man.
Emmett wanted to be on his best behavior when he went to the opera with George. After all, it was the stomping ground of Pittsburgh high society...not to mention a chance to meet George's ex-wife. Unfortunately, when the old Bergdorf Goodman battle-ax made a rather condescending remark toward George, Emmett took the opera gloves off and the mink fur began to fly. After it was over Emmett felt awful. How could he embarrass George like that? But George wasn't embarrassed. Emmett was helping him have the time of his life.
Emmett couldn't believe how lucky he was, how much in love he was, and now to top it off, George was taking him on a world tour! Nothing could take them higher...except maybe joining the "Mile High Club!" Unfortunately, the high miles were a bit much for George. During an "initiation rite" with Emmett, George left this life in an intimate, confining and compromising position. Emmett was truly devastated and felt as if he had lost everything.
Emmett is both furious and devastated when the evil Mrs. Shickel has him
forcibly removed from George's funeral. But Emmett gets to say his last words
for the love of his life at the Porn Awards...among friends (and fans). Much
better than at a stuffy funeral and besides, they originally met because of
porn!
Despite the offer of a million dollars hush money, Emmett refuses to deny that
he had a relationship with George. Emmett may end up poor, but his memory of
George will forever make him feel rich.
When Emmett tries to attend and participate at George's funeral, Mrs. Shickel
has him forcibly removed. Needless to say, Emmett won't be sending her a
Christmas card this year...or ever. To hell with her, her funeral for George was
not a fitting way to say goodbye, and Emmett finally gets to say his peace while
accepting an award at the Porn Awards!
EMMETT HONEYCUTT: "A song and a snack can turn any moment into an occasion"
Perhaps the proudest queer on Liberty Ave., Emmett marches to the beat of his own fashion drummer. He lives fabulous, loves fabulous, and dresses even more fabulous...that is if you're a fashion victim with three maxed-out credit cards and 7 pairs of Gucci sunglasses. But he does get an incredible discount at Torso, the queer clothing boutique where he works as a "retail slut." Funny and fierce, this queer isn't afraid to get in touch with his soft side or yours...or that adorable Latin hottie who works at the tanning salon.
EARLIEST AMBITION: To be faaaaabulous!
FAVORITE COLOR: Is see-through a color?
FAVORITE FASHION DESIGNER: Versace or Tom Ford.
GUILTY PLEASURE: People watching...and then doing imaginary makeovers on them.
THINGS THAT IRRITATE HIM: When people wear clothing that doesn't suit them. People with love handles that bare their mid-drifts. Gay men that can never let themselves get "queeny." Shoddy-zippers. Bad Cher imitators. When Ted whines about not being able to get a date.
SEVEN FAVORITE JEOPARDY! CATEGORIES: Disco Divas, Fashion Divas, Hollywood Divas, Double 0-Seven Divas, Southern Divas and She's Like Buttah.
DEAD PERSON HE'D MOST LIKE TO MEET: There's so many! But if he has to narrow it down: Natalie Wood...just to find out what really happened that awful night.
FAVORITE OLD TIME TV CHARACTER: Endora from Bewitched.
THE ONE ITEM THAT'S ALWAYS IN HIS REFRIGERATOR: Cucumbers -- mostly for putting on the eyes after a night out of partying.
FAVORITE FOOD: Milk and Oreos.
FAVORITE FAD DIET: Suzanne Summers' Eat, Cheat, and Melt the Fat Away
IF HOSTING A DINNER PARTY, HIS GUESTS WOULD BE: Cher, Aretha, Christina Aguilera, Barbra, Britney (Remember not to seat her next to Christina!), Madonna, Brian, Michael, Ted, and the fabulous porn star Zack O'Tool.
FASHION TREND HE WISHES WOULD DIE: Overly baggy clothes.