Kiss The Ones You Love Goodbye

What does it mean to die? Scientifically, death is the irreversible termination of the biological functions that define a living organism. Spiritually, there are many different definitions. I think the most popular of which is the separation of the soul from its' worldly coil. Neither of these seem to really articulate what it feels like to those of us left behind though. I can only attempt to describe it as feeling like you woke up without a part of yourself. Not like an amputation, where it's oft purported that even though the limb is no longer there it still feels like it is. More like something is missing from the inside. To me it feels like I'm missing a piece of my soul, that ethereal plasma that is supposed to animate my corporeal shell.

Recently, I've been associated with a few unexpected deaths. Deaths that came on very suddenly. First Nancy, then Bristow. It's had me thinking a lot about the way in which I conduct my life. I've always attempted to live as if something could happen to me at anytime but it somehow missed me that something could suddenly happen to somebody else. And at the risk of sounding didactic here on top of my metaphorical soap box and proselytizing to the masses I implore everyone within the power of my voice (So to speak) to let everyone know where you stand, where they stand, and where we stand. You don't ever know when someone will be gone; so make sure you tell the people who are special and important to you that they are.

It's not easy to live with the grief of losing someone. Sometimes it seems a hole that nothing or nobody else can fill. The only advice I can try to give is that when one does leave us, don't walk this world feeling as if a piece of you is missing. Try and remember that instead there is a piece of that person living on always... within you.

Rest in peace Nancy Ranchino and Kris Bristow. Your memory lives on in the smile of everyone you touched.

And rest in peace Uncle Jeff. You taught me to be tough and later on taught me just how vulnerable I really am.
I hope I can somehow be there for you in death like I should have been in life.
10/27/60-9/5/04

September 2005

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