Happy Ending

She was a beautiful thing with long slender legs
Skin was as white as grade A eggs
And she walked like she knew her way around
My jaw dropped straight into the ground
Long blonde hair and bright green eyes
A short mini-skirt showing an inch of her thighs
A smile on her lips and a firm set on her jaw
A dollar bill under one strap of her bra
Come over here stripper
I’ll be your big tipper
A dollar at a time, but don’t think me cruel
I know you’re just doing this so you can get through school
I know I can look but I can never feel
She’s going down the pole like a naked Navy SEAL
And then she crawled over to me on all fours
And said, “If you want more than a look it’ll cost you much more”
Now we’re in a booth and she loses the skirt
For some reason the couch is sticking to the back of my shirt
She’s riding me like a horse at the Kentucky Derby
She put her crotch in my face and I saw a herpe
That’s when I screamed and ran for my life
I guess it’s time to get home to the wife

Dedicated to Luther, who made the astute observation
"Look at her, she's like a naked Navy SEAL or something!"

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