Soliloquy:Poison Grace II
Half melted candles and half eaten food
A glass half empty, a room some find crude
A place so dark sunlight hardly shows
A bed that isn’t made and a floor of dirty clothes
The clock says three marked with an AM dot
The world is sleeping, he is not
A man listens to a voice he can’t find
A dialogue taking place inside of his mind…
Hello there, how long has it been
Not too long, broke up with my girlfriend again
Was the yo-yo relationship worth trying
She walked the dog for awhile then cut the string
I see I see, I told you she was bad news
Guess she made you an offer you couldn’t refuse
Yeah, she hits harder each time, I’ve still got the bruise
But she finally did something I can never excuse
Fuck her, how’s work? Get in any brawls?
Still trying to date girls that won’t return your calls?
Screw you… yeah, one didn’t call back today
What are you doing here anyway
Ask yourself that, why can’t you see
That I don’t come to you, you come to me
You must be really getting your sad on
I’m so deep within, you thought that I was gone
Not true, I’m doing fine
Started going back to church, letting my light shine
I’m just trying to be happy for once, woah
Aren’t you the same guy that wanted to die four years ago?
Don’t bring that up, that’s long packed away on the shelf
You can’t lie to me bro, don’t keep lying to yourself
Isn’t that why you’re here right now
You want me to show you how
You’re wrong, look at this smile
You’re in denial
I’ve seen you in troubles big and troubles small
Right now you look like a Vegas buster that’s lost it all
…Tell me, are the stars out tonight
Can’t tell, clouds blocking out the light
Don’t’ switch subjects, didn’t answer what I asked you
Sometimes the thunder rolls, tears do to
But it’s not so bad
Have you talked to dad?
I try, it’s just real hard
I wish I didn’t have to always be on guard
It’s always an uphill climb
What do you say to somebody that doesn’t have much time
Just tell him you love him before it’s too late
He’s always understood you, and you’ve made him wait
Seriously, I’m fine, do I have to shout it
You’ve got a few new scars, wanna talk about it
…
You can’t fool me man, I see the knife
Uncle Jeff took his own life
Oh… I didn’t know. How did it happen
He hung himself in the garage that I used to play in
I’m sure he’s in a better place now, how’s Cas
Still in Chicago making movies and chasing ass
What about the Panda bear
Turned 18, pierced his ears and cut his hair
What would they say if they knew you were talking to me
I don’t know man, you’re just a distant memory
I poured you down the sink
Obviously I’m not as far down as you think
Actually I am, and that’s what I fear
You had to travel a long way to end up down here
You’re the genius, what does this mean
I‘m not all knowing, I’m just you at age 16
I can’t tell the future of living a life of sin
I don’t know where you’re going, I only know where you’ve been
I'm a memory that's been repressed
Of you when you're depressed
You're so sad you can't even weep
We gonna kill you now? I wanna go back to sleep
You're not right, this doesn't fit
I'm not suicidal You're full of shit
There’s a shotgun in the closet now, but you don’t want it butt up
You want the barrel pointing at your... SHUT UP!
Don’t ever forget that I can read you like a book
But you don’t have to go down the same path that I took
If you're so convinced you want to pout
I'll give you something to cry about
You want to hear a depressing story
I’ve been living in a purgatory
That YOU created, held in chains, cloaked in fears
Locked away four long years
And you don’t think all your pieces fit
I know but... YOU DON’T KNOW SHIT!
The only way my time’s been spent
Is thinking how things could’ve been different
I just want to get on track
I feel so cold, I want the fire back
You’re not here by accident, you came to find me
You didn’t always feel this way Why don’t you remind me?
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