In Memoriam
People overeat because they like food. No one chooses to get fat. A lot of people choose to stay fat after they've already gotten there but I don't know of anyone that sets out with the goal of being fat in their head when they start overeating. No one other than me, that is. I can remember in Kindergarten or the first grade that I "graduated" from a Happy Meal at McDonalds to a quarter-pounder with cheese meal. I can remember moving up from a quarter-pounder to a Big Mac meal and being not just happy about it, but proud. I had a goal in mind. I wanted to have a beer belly like my uncle, Jeff Newman.
After he and my aunt got divorced I found out a lot of strange and sometimes disturbing things about him, but personally I never saw that side. Until the day he died he always called me Hot Rod and I loved him for it.
Adam and I were like his practice kids until he had my cousin Leah. He loved baseball and taught us how to play. He even bought me my first glove. Dad could give us the basics, but Dad is and was a music loving hippy. Uncle Jeff fine tuned us on sports, took us camping, and out on the boat. He taught me a lot of things. He gave me a lot of things too, the best of all being my cousin.
I remember in the 8th grade he took me to a wrestling show at Municipal. When we were leaving a limo pulled up next to us with the window down revealing Stevie Ray, a dastardly bad guy in the scheme of things. Without thinking about it I shot him the bird and then realizing my mistake I quickly looked at Uncle Jeff and begged him not to tell Mom I had flicked someone off. He laughed his laugh and told me not to worry about it. He never did tell her.
I'll never know what was going through your head in that garage 3 years ago. It is not for me to judge.
All I can say is that I and the rest of your family love and miss you and think of you fondly and often.
PS- I finally got that T-Shirt we talked about.
Rest in peace, Jeffery Wayne Newman, you left us way too soon.
October 27th, 1960-September 5th, 2004.
This beer belly's for you.