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"Alone"
I had been dating Jon for little over a month when I wrote this poem. I think I wrote it because I couldn't get enough of Jon and I felt isolated from my school friends. I was living at home and couldn't go out and do the same stuff everyone else could because I had to abide by house rules. It was tough. I was also missing my ex-boyfriend a little. He had been my best friend, the one I refer to in the poem. This became a haunting song done by "The Prayer". It was pretty eirie.
October 11, 1993


Here I am, alone.
Alone again.
There's nothing quite like this feeling.
I'm content with my own company.
I reflect upon my life.
Eat my past with a knife.
Oh, there's nothing quite like this feeling.

Here I am, alone.
By myself.
With no one to tell me what to do.
Or how to do it.
There's no one to tell me to put on my clothes,
No one's here so nobody knows.
How naked I seem to be now.

Here I am, alone.
I'm happy.
This way, I am reaching perfection.
I can look inside my head.
There's a flame in there, burning,
And all the shile I'm yearning,
For you to be here with me.

Here I am, alone.
With nobody home.
My best friend's dead and buried.
In this house I'm a mere speck.
The pain has failed to start,
And now my skin's torn apart,
By the knife held in my hand.

Here I am, alone.
And dying.
My thoughts drift through the door.
I think that now I'm satisfied.
Blood drip drops from deep in my head,
But hearts tears cannot make me dead.
It's only lonliness that can kill me.

Oh yes, there's nothing like this feeling,
Alone again...
By myself
I'm happy
With nobody home
And dying.
There's nothing quite like this feeling.
(~*