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"Clean Stains"

I was pretty depressed when I wrote this one. I was sitting out on the screened-in-porch watching a rain storm. It made me really sad at first. I felt better afterwards and that's what prompted me to write this. I imagined being in a room where there was no screen on the window and the rain was coming in. I even drew a picture of the window with rain pouring in. It was sad but it made me feel lifted up after I had written it. Amazing what cathartic writing will do for you.
February 22, 1990

...And then it began to rain. Rain coming in
the room and flooding the carpet with water
stains of hate.
Hate and lust and death and
pain and anger and tears and
all of my emotions which I
had ever felt badly.
The hate I had for the pain mankind had caused me.
The lust I felt for the one I never loved.
The death of my sister but only in my mind.
The pain of thousands of years of loss.
Anger at my people for never loving me.
The tears that fell because of
all the hate and lust and
death and pain and anger
and all the other emotions.
As the stain grew it darkened and turned to blood.
Blood of the sins of all.
A pool of blood I lay in and slept.
Upon awaking I felt new rain.
Rain of hope.
Hope and love and peace and
friendship and jubilation
and spiritual awakening as
well as conscious awaking.
The rain was clear and clean and it washed
away the hate and
anger and

lust and

death and
pain of all those thousands of years.
And I slept again in a pool of
Moonlight.
(~*