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"Eternal Yearning"

When I was a high school Junior I dated Nick Thompson. At the time I wrote this mess I was sure that I was in love with Andy Bieri, a guy in my German language class. Andy was a year younger than I and I had spent a lot of time with him and mutual friends. His mom was a witch and totally cool to talk to. This is how I felt during that time, when I was dating Nick but looking at Andy differently than I had before. It was hard to deal with and I actually dated him for a few weeks to see how it would be. In the end we both knew that it wouldn't work out; we were too much alike and fought too much.
October 28, 1990

I've wanted you, it seems, since forever
It was the day we met when it began
And if not that moment, then shortly after
That I began to think I wanted you.
You must have caught the stolen glances
And felt tensed feelings from me
They were hidden yet begging to be seen
And I began to realize that I wanted you.
The physical contact, no matter how small,
Ran lightning streaks past my eyes
And intensified the feverish yet patient yearning
Were you thinking, "I want you"?
And amidst this storm raging, the truth showed its eye
We're devoted to others, yet wanting one another
To share passion and friendship with
And we both wondered if our feelings were true.

Today I sat for several hours thinking
And shivering about my recent images of you
I've now come to the end of my eternal yearning
And now I realize, I always wanted you.
(~*