Sex, Drugs and Suicide
So what?! I'm just a teen. I know more about life than some 40 year olds. Sex, Drugs, and Suicide filled my highschool years. I'm not making this up, this shit really happened.
I brought fifths to school and drank it all down. Had friends sit with me to make sure I didn't run off. Smoked pot and became paranoid. What a joy my life did seem. NOT!
Dated a boy, 15 years old. A year younger, but still mature. He and I shared a special bond. The bond of sex, drugs and suicide.
Not 3 months in was the first attempt. I wanted out, and he downed the whole aleve bottle. I took him back. The pain just started.
Sex crased teen. He slept with a good friend. I told him off and he sit his wrists.
What was I to do? Oh yeah! Down another fifth of booze. No one knew, I was all by myself.
Took im back, one last time. Eight months total, and it was all over. I started dating. I saw him less and less.
He told me he loved me everytime he was me. I never answered, just walked away. One last fight, 3 days later he hung in his shed.
How the tears did flow. Sleepless nights left me thinking. Sex drugs and suicide. Only one thing missing.
3 days later I lie on my bed counting out tylonal. One by one to 10 at a time. 109 down inside of me.
I fell asleep twitching, thinking. It this works who will I hurt. Alarm goes off, time for school.
Hiding my vomit, I made it to school. Lit up a cigarette and started puking again. A friend called my mom, another came home with me.
I got in my room, and put on my pjs. I lie in bed with the bottle next to my head. I told her and fell asleep. A few hours later my mom was told.
"WHY??!" is the only question I remember. "I just want to be with him mommy" is the only explination. Sex, drugs and suicide had the best of me.
Holding a bucket, cuddled in my blanket we drove to Children's Hosp. Ivs, blood draws, and blood platlets just trying to get my liver to work. On my b-day it started getting better.
This tripple treat nearly cost me my life. I never want it to happen again. Sex, drugs and suicide no more!
{I love you, and each day
I suffer not knowing how to help
Eachnight before I sleep I kneel
"Be here tomarrow please" I pray.} -End of Suicide Note