Disclaimer:
For legal purposes, Joss Whedon, David Greenwalt and the rest of their posse
own the characters from the show Buffy the Vampire Slayer and Angel the Series.
BUT IN ALL OTHER WAYS THAT ARE MUCH MORE IMPORTANT- Buffy owns Angel and Angel
owns Buffy. Always and forever.
Feedback:
Hey, if not for me- then for all the terrific S/D and B/A fanfiction writers out
there. You guys are all super talented and make our lives easier during these
sad times of post Buffy and Angel breakup.
Dedication:
To Sara-Lee, thank you for being my friend, helping me with this fic and so
much more. I hope this makes you feel better! And always to all the B/A and S/D
shippers, I love you guys! We are a force to be reckoned with- from our faith
and efforts, Buffy and Angel will be together again. We’ll get our day!
Distribution: Wow? You actually want this? Well email me and I'll give it you
on a silver platter.
Rating:
I would say R for sexual situations. No cussing though, because I don’t believe
in it. Also, there will be an NC-17 part later, but I have also written an R
version for those that don’t/can’t read NC-17.
The blonde flashed her biggest smile and moaned out huskily,
“Angel!!! More! Angel, you’re a sex machine! Harder!”
Lilah looked at the robotics engineer in disgust. Was this
really the best the mechanical world had to offer? The new executive rolled her
eyes at the man. The robot herself, obliviously stood between them with that
big completely unnatural smile. Why couldn’t this idiot engineer get this robot
to behave properly?
The whole idea was so ridiculously simple. And it was almost too good to be true when Lilah’s contacts had informed her of this “Buffybot”’s existence. Stealing the robot from the Slayer’s witch friend wasn’t too much of a problem either. It was funny really- the contract department had hired this gem of a warlock… All he did was cast a glamour making that little red head think this monstrosity was inside the basement. Easy as pie.
Lilah turned to the engineer, “That is the BEST you can do?
Oooh, Angel- harder? She sounds like bad porno actress. In case you haven’t
noticed, we’re trying to strive for reality.”
The engineer just shrugged, “Well whoever originally programmed
this one was the cream of the crop. I don’t think I’ve seen anything so exc-”
“I understand that-” Lilah interrupted the man. “But that was
all programming for this Spike vampire. We need her for Angel.”
“There’s only so much the good science of robotics can do,” the engineer
insisted.
The female lawyer looked at him with eyes of venom, “Then try
the darkside.”
“I’ll be honest with you,” the technician began, to the lawyer.
“Until we get the demonic substances I requested and the subject herself-there
isn’t much more I can do. We’ve done as much as we can with orthodox methods.
What you need lies solely in the supernatural realm, ma’am.”
“I assure you,” Lilah began, beginning to loose patience with
the man. “The materials will be here soon.”
The technician nodded his head in sympathy, “I realize that
ma’am. But we can’t proceed until I have them. That’s the only thing that will
hold her soul to the metal frame.”
“It’s imperative that Angel can recognize her as Buffy Summers,”
she demanded.
“Yes ma’am… But I still feel as if I should warn you,” the man
continued.
“Warn me,” Lilah asked wearily.
”Once we mix the elixir and insert the tank inside the robot- if
the tank begins to leak or she somehow looses the liquid- it’s POOF! No more
robot, period. She’ll implode,” he explained in earnest.
The Buffybot turned to smile at the man, “Angel makes me hot and
I explode for him. He penetrates me and puts his-”
Just when Lilah was about to scream at the robot- a buzz from
her intercom stopped her. She pushed the little yellow button and listened to
her secretary.
“Ms. Morgan, the messengers have arrived with the materials you
sent for,” the secretary informed her.
The young lawyer smiled, “Finally! Send them in.”
The secretary buzzed in the men, carrying a large box and an
unconscious Buffy Summers. The workers just left the girl on the Italian
leather couch- as if she was a used limp towel. Lilah checked the box and upon seeing everything was there,
dismissed all except one of them. Lilah held the one worker back as she walked
over to the knocked out Slayer. The lawyer put her two fingers on the girl’s
neck, checking for a pulse. It was steady, and the girl seemed to be genuinely
unconscious. Lilah turned back to the young messenger.
“Did she put up a struggle,” Lilah asked.
“We managed to find her at home alone, we slipped her some
relaxers and that was that,” he replied.
But Lilah was still unconvinced, “Did you make it so that-”
“No one will look for her. We wrote a realistic enough note, using
the intelligence report we received from the research department. Her friends
think she’s out to look for a demon-god named Glory,” he explained to her.
Lilah nodded and let the man go, “Good. That is all.”
The lawyer looked at the slumping Slayer and then back at the
robot. While Lilah had compared the robot to the surveillance photos of the
Slayer, she never really appreciated the robot’s stunning likeness until now.
Lilah could almost see herself in that corner office on the top
floor. All she needed to do was have this engineer get his act together.
“Well Frankenstein,” Lilah said to the man. “Here are your
parts. Time to make the demon his mate. And do it right!”
The robot walked over to look at her human double, “Wow! It’s
the girl who looks like me. We’re very pretty, you know.”
The female lawyer laughed, “Yes… You are very pretty. And I
think someone else thinks the both of you are VERY VERY pretty.”
The robot used her simple logic programs, “Oooh- you mean Angel
right? Angel has pretty hair. And he’s a sex machine. When will you finish my
makeover? I want him. I want to see Angel.”
Lilah patted the robot’s shoulder, “Trust me Buffy, when we’re
through with your makeover- we’ll open so many doors… But Angel isn’t here
right now.”
The robot pouted, “Is he behind those doors? Lilah, where is
Angel? I want to make my Angel happy!”
“Oh I think you’ll make Angel happy,” Lilah smiled. “Very, very
happy.”
To say that Lilah opened doors for me- is an understatement. Thinking
about my “makeover” reminds me of- well, before I was called. I mean, before I
became the Slayer I pretty much was a real robot. I led an incredibly vacuous
life style, and to be honest- the Buffybot was more intelligent that I used to
be.
No, I am the Buffybot.
Well- not anymore. I can’t think of myself like that now. I’m
different. Lilah has changed me. I really AM Buffy Summers now. At least, as
much as a hunk of metal and silicon can be. This is all too surreal for me. It
reminds me of a shock and horror I hadn’t felt since that first vampire
attacked me in the cemetery all those years ago.
Before Lilah’s procedure I was that automaton, the mindless
child that thought the world revolved around her. And now- afterwards… The
world has never seemed so big around me- and how I’m just so… small.
“Buffy,” Lilah calls for me and I turn to her. “Very good. You
didn’t flash that huge smile when I called you.”
“Lilah, I’m not like how I was before. I… I know better,” I try
to explain.
Lilah seems impressed as she walks over to me, “Yes. I’m sorry.
I wasn’t sure the procedure would work. How do you feel?”
“I feel more- more real I guess. It’s sort of hard to put into
words,” I admit.
Her smile grows even bigger at that, “No, no. That’s… perfect.
The procedure seems to be a complete success.”
“Just what exactly was the procedure,” I ask her, as she
suddenly brightens when I speak.
“Well Buffy- what we’ve done is taken your already advanced
programming and given you an boost. An upgrade,” she replies, putting her hand
on my shoulder.
I look around her office and question, “A boost? What kind of
boost?”
“This is the human Buffy Summers,” Lilah says, walking to the
gagged and restrained girl in the corner near her desk. “We’ve well, for lack
of a better term- ‘transferred’ a copy of her soul inside of you.”
My mind or gears whirl at the concept, “So I’m… Her. She is me?”
“Yes, you could say that,” Lilah says at her desk, pleased that I
understand. “And I know how much you love Angel. This way, you can be with him.
Just in the way the both of you have always wanted.”
My heart… or whatever is giving me the capacity to feel- leaps
at the thought. To finally be with Angel- the only soul who loved me before I
ever met him. The only one I’ve ever given myself to, purely and fully. I don’t
mean just that he was my first lover- I mean, that no matter which way you look
at it… He was really my ONLY lover.
My Angel.
To see him, to talk to him, to hold him, to kiss him to…
“You letting me make love to him,” I ask, already knowing the
answer.
Lilah bowed her head a little while going through all of the
pictures scattered on her desk, “I’m letting you do whatever you can to make
him happy. He’s been going through a lot, especially with the whole Darla
business-”
“You mean sleeping with her,” I add, remembering Lilah’s first
attempts at talking to me before the procedure. “You want me to go to him,
now.”
I turn to my human counterpart, and see the tears form in her
eyes. No doubt that Lilah explained to her what Angel had done while Wolfram
and Hart drove him crazy. And though I’ve always thought of myself as a pretty
fast learner- that’s something I don’t quite understand yet. Tears…
“I think he’s been lashing out because he
can’t have you,” she says, putting her hand on my shoulder again and giving me
something to look at. “And, I really think you should go to see him.”
I look down at what she’s given to me and to my surprise… It’s
our prom picture. Well- Angel and human Buffy’s prom picture. But I like to
think of it as ours, and I guess it sort of really is ours. I stare at his
face- how the photographer for a brief moment caught that ever elusive smile of
his. I gaze at Lilah I think even she realizes just how much in love we are
when she looks at the picture.
I know that I am still new to the whole being sentient thing,
but I do know a few things. I realize that Lilah is using me. To try and get
Angel to go evil. And I know the paradox human Buffy feels about this. I feel
it too. But I can’t restrict myself like she does. The emotions she feels- that
I share... They’re all just too intense.
I need him. I want him.
I want my Angel to hold me. To tell me he loves me, to kiss me
and run his large soft hands through my hair. I want to show him how much I
love him. And to tell him how much I miss him. I want… I want to make love with
him.
And that’s all I need in order to make my decision.
I run my fingers over his face in the photo before I turn back
to Lilah, “How can I get to the Hyperion from here?”
The sun is setting as the cab pulls up to the three-story hotel.
I search through Buffy’s and my memory suddenly realizing that this is our
first visit to his new home. There were times, when vamps from LA would come to
Sunnydale- and I…err… human Buffy, would hear a tidbit about Angel’s new life.
How his friend Doyle had died. How he seemed to really find a family with
Cordelia, Wesley and someone else they called Gunn… I imagine the warmth and
love that he must get from them.
And even though I’m a cold, steel robot- once I step through the
hotel’s doors, I immediately feel the chill in the air. That part of her soul-
feels it. Something is not right here. I go through my pools of data, and
realize this might have something to do with Angel firing them…
Cordelia doesn’t bother to look up from her desk, “Angel! Where
the hell have you been? I wanted you to get me that double latte almost an-”
She stops when she sees me. Her mouth opens slightly and then
closes. Eager to make connections, my new consciousness oddly connects her to
Riley. That movement… It reminds me of Riley’s annoying habit. And that thought
isn’t just from the programming- the soul is scowling too. The thought of him
in that run-down house… With those undead tramp vampires- sucking him down, and
him wanting them more than me…
“Buffy,” she says in a quiet voice, bringing me back to the moment.
“Wow. You’re the last person I thought I’d see here.”
“Hi to you too,” I muster, suddenly feeling as if I’m not
‘acting’ anymore. “I take it that Angel isn’t here right now.”
Cordelia haughtily blows the air through her teeth at his name.
Her arms are crossed in front of her chest in a very tight way. Something I
don’t think I’ve seen her do since well… since when she used to hate me in high
school.
“Yeah… That dead deadbeat isn’t here right now. When he SHOULD
BE,” she scoffs.
“Oh,” I causally reply, walking past the former concierge desk
and further inside. “Do you know when-”
“I sent him out for coffee. And he was supposed to have been
back almost 10 minutes ago,” she interrupts angrily shaking her head.
I raise an eyebrow at that, “You sent him out for coffee?”
“There’s been a few changes in management,” she coolly replies,
sitting back down to read her fashion magazine.
And that’s when I remember what else Lilah explained to me earlier,
about how Angel is working under Wesley and the others now. I’m not quite sure
what exactly to say to that. I can think of a few things… Not very flattering
things to the ‘new’ management at Angel Investigations- yet things nonetheless.
But that’s not important to me.
What’s important to me now is finding Angel. Giving myself to him at a
time like this- to let him love me the way we both want each other. Letting
know that I care about him… And I’m not afraid to show him.
So I bite my tongue and ask Cordelia, “Is there someplace that I
can wait for him until he comes back?”
“Well, the paper work and filing he was gonna do can wait until
after you talk to him,” she allows, as if she made a great sacrifice. “Wait for
him in his apartment, 217.”
I nod quietly and walk up the large stairs to the second floor.
^^^
I sigh at my weakened sense of smell. The soul part of me is
grappling at that, trying to adjust without it. Personally, I’m used to it by
now. I never really cared about it until I got myself a soul- or copy of a
soul, anyway. I imagine that if I were REALLY Buffy, I wouldn’t need Cordelia
to tell me the apartment number… I’d be able to tell by scent alone. Mates do
that sort of thing.
I open the door and step inside the dark interior. It’s
different from the other rooms I’ve seen in the hotel. It’s beautiful… The room
reflects who he is. The dark purple walls, the browning Old World globe and
dark wooden furniture… I see little knickknacks, and a few weapons hanging on
various spots of the wall- and all of this just makes me want to be with him
even more.
I’m suddenly thankful for my lack of smell as I reach his bed,
staring at the blue satin sheets. Buffy would not want to smell Angel and his
sire together in his bed- and frankly, I don’t want to either. It makes me
nauseated. Or at least the robot equivalent of it. I recall my- or rather her
anger at Angel comforting Faith. And he had done that to her in friendship- but
the way he took Darla…
My newly sensitive mind tries to process this information. Look
for a reason why. Why… Why did he do this? It was obviously a desperate
measure- a last straw. He had been stripped down of everything: me, his ties to
humanity- even his belief that he could do good in the world. And all of that left him vulnerable. Pushed
Angel to the point where even Darla had more feeling in her than him… Pushed
him to the point where he just wanted to end it all and let the demon inside
completely out. To effectively, kill himself… Maybe it was all of those things.
Maybe it was all of that and more.
I don’t blame him or hate him for it. Neither does human Buffy.
Truth of it is… I have, well- we have
done the same with Riley. For that
moment in time- we… lied to ourselves. Shrank back into that automaton we were all
those years ago.
A deep pressure falls in my chest and I feel that this bed is
suffocating me. It’s crushing me- depriving me of existence, even if I don’t
breathe to exist. It’s darkness. It feels like whatever is keeping me running
will crush until I’m just… nothing. Is this what sorrow feels like? God… I need
to be somewhere else now. Anywhere- but not right here.
I look for my salvation and I see it in the corner of my eye. I
turn and smile, I’ve found him again. I’ve found myself again. Before me is
Angel’s large closet, full of his clothes- his smell. And even with my pathetic
sense of smell- I can very clearly tell it’s his. The sweet sandalwood aroma
pours out like a hand, twirling toward me- beckoning me to enter. I do.
The closet is one of those large walk-in ones, big enough for me
to come inside. Mostly filled with weapons, but his clothes all hang here too.
I close the door and turn on the little light, letting myself get lost in his
scent. I let myself touch all of his clothes, smiling when I see his favorite
overcoat hanging neatly next to me. I run my hands over the trenchcoat, feeling
the comfortable dark fabric. How many times have I touched this coat? Let him
envelop me in it? Rustle against it when I cried on his shoulder? Watched it
flap in the breeze as we patrolled? I take one of the cuffs and inhale the
strong lingering aroma. It fills my senses and suddenly I’m with him again. I
imagine his soft strong hand inside of the coat and rub the cuff against my
plastic skin.
I can’t wait anymore. I want at least the smell of my love to be
around me. I step outside of the closet and back inside of his bedroom.
Slipping out of my shoes, I strip myself of all my clothing. Removing the last
of my underwear, I leave it all on the floor. Walking over to the closet, I
look for one of his shirts…
Any shirt- so that I can have him with me. My eye catches one in
particular- a gray one. The one he wore when we were supposed to have our first
date… Dark, but not too dark. A shade of hope. I slip that one over my naked
form and brace myself for what I’m going to do next.
Robots don’t get tired. Unless you consider a low battery being
tired… I’m fully charged, though. But I need to lie down on that bed. This is
something I need to face. I need to face her… I need to face his past.
As causally as I can manage, I stride over to the bed again and
slip between the neatly made sheets. I have his shirt to cover me, and I let
myself breathe in the bed’s scent. To my surprise I smell- nothing. As if the
mattress and the sheets have been cleaned over and over again. Devoid of
anything- even Angel’s own smell. I lie comfortably and snuggle against the
clean pillows. Hopefully soon Angel’s smell can cover this bed once more… soon.
I’m not quite sure what time it is when I hear noises at the
door. There is yelling- it sounds like Cordelia and Wesley. But I mainly just
hear Cordelia’s ranting about how he is still obligated to get her new clothes…
I also hear another voice- a male, one that I don’t recognize. He seems equally
angry as well.
And I hear Angel in return, surprisingly soft toned… Just taking
all of it in. The yelling stops and Angel opens the door, then closes it
quietly once he’s inside the apartment. From the little light that is in the
room, I can make out the large axe he’s carrying.
He walks a few paces more before he stops completely in
mid-stride. From my place in his bed- I see him, feeling out with his senses.
He feels me- but not all of her, I think.
“Who’s there,” he asks out to the darkness.
“It’s me,” I say back.
Angel turns on a nearby light and his eyes bulge at the sight.
Here I am- wearing practically nothing… In his bed. I shift myself out of his
bed and stand up awkwardly straight. His presence in the room drives my new
senses crazy. I feel the dusky tips of
my breasts harden as I’m sure human Buffy’s would. They peek out from the pale
pearl gray fabric and I don’t care. I want him to know how much I love him… And
I want to spend all of my existence showing him.
“What… what are you doing here,” he asks quietly stunned,
melting my metal frame as his eyes rake over me.
I walk a little over to him, “I guess Cordelia didn’t tell you I
was here.”
Angel put down his axe, “Cordelia neglected to mention it. She
was kinda busy with other things like-”
“Coffee and clothes,” I finish, moving closer toward him.
He nods and I realize the reason why he was late. Angel ran into
some demons. He’s a mess. His hair is sweaty, rumpled and tangled as if he’s
been fighting. His clothes are covered with a drying but still gooey orange
plasma. And they give off a strange familiar odor… The literal gears in my head
turn in remembrance- well, in human Buffy’s remembrance. They’re the smell of
Toak demons. Hard little monsters to kill. And the smell… Though I’m
aromatically challenged- there are just some smells you can’t ever really
forget.
“You’ve been fighting Toak demons,” I guess aloud, helping him
out of his jacket.
“Yeah… I sort of ran into a few and they sort of exploded,” he
said, stepping out of his black boots.
“I fought with some a while back,” I offer, daring to help him
take off his shirt. “You know the only way to get rid of the smell is to-”
“Buffy,” he bellows out, as I get close to him. “I-”
“Shhhh,” I stop him with my index finger to his lips, as I get
closer to his body. “Let me help you.”
I take off the dirty garment and my mouth goes dry at the sight
of his bare chest. The clear cut muscles…. All the way solid, stretching into
his defined abs- and then much, much lower into his completely hard, thick and
long-
“Buffy, why are you here,” he asks me, so desperately close.
And my mind reaches for something human Buffy has hidden away
deep in her subconscious. For memories that Lilah nor anyone else really
remembers. Except for Angel. Of his hot hands, his warm lips on my mouth and
his burning body deep in my flooded insides… Wanting, having, sharing ourselves
and our bodies with each other as he thrusted his way home into her… me.
“I remember,” I simply say, walking back to sit on the bed.
Angel slips into denial mode as he joins me, “Remember what?”
“Breaking your kitchen table. Eating peanut butter and
chocolate. Licking cookie dough fudge mint chip ice cream off of your chest,” I
reveal, facing him. “I could go on. We did a lot of things in and out of your
bed that day too.”
Angel winces, and I immediately realize that he thinks I’m
blaming him. Another person who’s angry at him. I’m such an idiot… God- as a
human or a robot, I can’t say anything right. I shake my head in protest as I
try to explain.
“You hate me,” he assumes, hanging his head.
I want him so badly I make him look into my eyes, “No, no-
Angel… I came here because I love you… I love you. And I want to-”
“You want to what,” he pants, his cool breath on my face.
Our lips are so close to touching, I can already feel him inside
of me… Taste him inside of my mouth. Hear him scream out my name in pleasure,
and feel how happy I am to be with him like this. To have this chance with him
again-
And before he even touches me I feel myself weeping for him,
needing him now. The evidence of my arousal floods all of my lower body and I
hear Angel slightly growl. All of a sudden his hands are on my shoulders,
easing me down to lie on the bed. His hands roam over to my neck and I sigh at
feeling him touch me. My head hits the pillows, and more than ever I want to be
the mate he deserves. I’m going insane at being so close to Angel and not
having him buried deep within me… To have his taste swimming in my mouth. His
lips are so tantalizingly near- for me to kiss, to lick, to-
Suddenly his hands menacingly wring my throat, crushing half of
my electric sensors. My eyes bolt open to see his dark sienna orbs burn with
anger. Why is he angry? I search those eyes for an answer and find my own
stupidity.
He knew… The whole time he knew… He knew I wasn’t her from the
very start.
There’s no mistaking that fury- the knowledge that I’m a fake.
To him, a cheap imitation of the real thing. That’s why he growled at me- it
angers him even to see me or my arousal for him.
His hands and voice are rough, “Who are you? And why are you
talking about things that are none of your business?”
I’m a robot! I’m not meant to take this kind of violence. I was
only made to love him.
If he squeezes me any tighter…He’d snap my circuits like they
were potato chips, not the sensitive microchips they are. His glare is
murderous and I suddenly realize… He could rip apart my wiring… He could kill
me.
“I-I-I just wanted to love you,” I squeak out, his hands choking
my digital voice box.
He thrashes my head against the headboard, “That doesn’t answer
my question!”
“Angel! Please! Please,” I plead, beginning to lose the relay
signals in my metal feet.
His hands let go of me and I drop back to the bed. Before I can
react I see him hovering above me with his axe- ready to strike. Even with my
mechanical senses… Angel moved so quickly…
“How about you just tell me and then I’ll decide,” he says, the axe
close to my throat.
My hands are high overhead in defense, as I try to sit up on the
bed. Angel backs away from me a little, as I stand up off of the bed. My left
hand goes to the shirt that loosely hangs on my frame… I undo the few buttons
and slip his shirt off my shoulders- tossing it on the floor. I’m naked before
him. Bare breasts, wet core and all…
He’s speechless at the sight of my nude body, but I can tell
he’s still on guard. My hands roam over the swell of my breasts, down my
perfect silicon flesh until I reach my lower torso. I see the shock on his face
as I open the panel just above the back of my hips- revealing my true nature.
All of the gears, fluids and wires are exposed- for him to see.
He stares mesmerized by the wonder, ”Well that’s… That’s… You’re
a robot!”
“Xander called me a Buffybot,” I joke, closing the panel when I
see he’s gotten my point.
The massive axe is still tight in his hand, “So Xander had you
built so you could what? Hump him senseless?”
“No, Spike had me built… So I could hump him senseless,” I
deadpan.
The rage fires in his eyes again. Yet this time it’s not
directed at me. This time Angel is out to kill Spike. But he knows that can
wait. Angel turns his attention back to me.
“And yet here you are,” he notes, struggling to keep his eyes on
my face. “In my town. In my bed. Naked.”
I want to say that he wants my body- that he wants to touch and
love me. But he doesn’t.
I know the real reason he’s looking at me. He wants the human
Buffy. And even now… In my all of my erotic glory, he’s thinking about that
Buffy and not me. I watch his eyes, he sees only the flaws in my making. I can
tell- he sees the subtitles that are missing… All the little features unique to
her.
“I told you before,” I say, still hoping to feel his touch. “I
want to love you.”
“Are you sure that’s not your programming talking,” Angel
sarcastically retorts.
I venture to move to him, “I’m beyond computer programs, Angel.
I mean- before the procedure I was a vapid parrot. But now that they’re given
me a chance I want to-”
“They,” he interrupts, stopping my movement to him with his axe.
“They who?”
“Angel…I know I’m not exactly Buffy,” I say, pushing myself back
to him my arms coiling to hold him. “But she and I are the same… We love you. I
love you and I-“
“But you’re not her,” he contests, walking out of my grasp.
And that’s when it all suddenly hits me.
He doesn’t love me. Angel loves her- Buffy.
Not me.
Then that funny concept of tears
finally makes sense to me. Hurt- real devastation invades my mechanical
processor. Like deadly electric shocks, I feel it overflow into my circuits.
Spreading through the tin and rubber of my body until it engulfs me whole. And
then I feel it’s all too much to hold in anymore… I feel the tears fall down my
cheeks.
My robot radar vision is blurry now-
but I feel a cool hand on my shoulder. Through my sobbing, I feel his arms
around me. Not in the angry suffocation they were before. He’s gentle and
caring, just as how I’ve always- no… How SHE has always thought of him. And his
arms wrap around me as my tears hit his cold chest.
“I always end up making you cry,” he
says seriously, catching one of my tears before it falls down my cheek.
“You mean you always make HER cry,” I
correct him through my wailing. “And even then you know it’s not true, because
she loves you and you love her.”
I find myself borrowing my head into
his chest as he tries to apologize, “I didn’t realize… I don’t- I don’t know
what to say..”
I suddenly feel ashamed of myself and
pull away, “You don’t need to say anything… I’m just a walking, talking sex
toy… I don’t have feelings…”
Though we both know that’s not true. I
love him.
But it’s not like I got those feelings
because of anything I did or thought up. I stole them. From another person. A
wonderful human being. I left her behind for the wolves. Now she is tied and
gagged in a den of thieves. And she wallows in the knowledge her only love is
being seduced by a monster wearing her face and body.
Suddenly I feel like the most horrible
being ever created- mechanical or otherwise.
And I want to run away.
“Don’t,” Angel says, sensing my
movements. “Don’t go away.”
I try to back away from him, “Angel,
I-”
“I know you’re confused right now,” he said,
holding my wrists gently but firmly. “Frankly, so am I… Look, beyond either of
us- there’s someone else we need to think about right now too.”
“Buffy,” I answer and he nods his head
at me.
“I need to know what’s going on,” he
gravely entreated.
I just shake my head, “I don’t… Look at
me, I’m a freak. I wouldn’t be able to help anyone. I’m just a se-”
“Don’t say that- You can! You can be
more,” he asserts to me, and I see his honesty clear in his eyes.
And the words echo in my head.
~ You can be more… You can be more…~
I take an unnecessary breath and let
the truth come out of me, “It’s Wolfram and Hart… After the gang took me away
from Spike- Willow hid me in the basement of Giles’s magic shop.”
Angel’s eyes narrow in understanding,
“It’s Lilah, isn’t it? She wants to flex her muscles now that Lindsey’s gone.”
“They took me and kidnapped Buffy. No
one will look for her… They all think she’s on a Slayer-Only mission for Glory.
They wrote a note-”
“Glory,” Angel breathed, remembering
Buffy’s explanation near her mother’s grave. “But why did you come here to me?
What was the-“
But before Angel can finish his
sentence… He knows. He doesn’t need me to explain.
“They wanted me to go evil,” he
surmises, and I wait for the anger to erupt from him.
Though the anger never comes. Instead,
I see sadness. Pain from knowing he can never let himself love her. Any part of
him- any happiness… And I see some recognition in his eyes, as if he sees past
my metallic shell. His piercing gaze straight through to deep, deep inside my…
our soul.
I feel his hand upon my cheek as he
strokes me, “Buffy? Why? Why would you-”
“I love you,” I reply truthfully. “And
we… We want to love you. The procedure… They’ve changed me. My soul, Buffy’s
soul- that essence has been recreated. And placed inside of me.”
“But what if-”
“I knew it was wrong,” I interrupt him.
“But I wanted to be selfish! I want you. And… I don’t know… I guess when I look
back on it- I knew…”
“You knew what,” he prompts as my voice
trails off.
“I think I knew that somehow, even if I
could convince you to make love- that you’d… You’d… You would know- know that I
wasn’t really her. And that because of that… we could feel each other, but that
you’d never totally be-”
“Happy,” he finishes, concluding my confession.
“Oh God… Buffy- even just a little part of you… ANY part of you- it would be so
much, enough to make me…”
As his voice trails at the thought, my
mind is fulfilled with emotions all at once. I have to see the strangeness of
it. Angel calling me Buffy now, even though we both know I’m not really her.
She and I may share a soul- a fundamental component to existence. But I am no
more Buffy than a human being is a telephone or a speaker… I’m just like the
answering machine- echoing the sentiments of a person far, far, away. And yet,
when I look at Angel now, as his hands hold me so close- I feel…
But before I can articulate it- the
room is spinning… I can barely stay on my feet but Angel somehow catches me. I
look up at his worried face and anxious eyes that hang above me- yet I see
something else… Hands… Not Angel’s hands. Someone else’s… Horrible hands… I
don’t like the way they feel- they’re cold and unfriendly, and make me shiver
with death.
“Buffy,” he calls out to me as I’m
fading into my other self. “Buffy- please, please! Answer me, Buffy- ”
“They’re going to… Use me, I mean her-
Buffy… Use Buffy for their dirty work… There’s a surgery,” I stumble, my voice
hollow and empty.
I hear Angel trying to coax me from unconsciousness,
“Buffy you need to stand up. I need you to walk with me.”
Suddenly I get full control of my
limbs, and stand with from my own volition. As Angel’s face breaks into a smile
of relief, I greet him with a countenance of despair.
“I’ve slipped unconscious,” I gravely
inform him.
In a blur, he grabs his gray shirt off
the floor and I get my clothes back on. Suddenly, we’re racing down the stairs.
We have no plan or even a vague hint of what to do when we get there. Yet we’re
running. Running through the corridors, down the first flight of stairs- until
Angel stops.
I see a trio of unhappy faces-
Cordelia, Wesley and a third young man.
“Where’s the fire at,” the man asks,
and I realize it’s the same voice I heard yelling at Angel before.
“Gunn! We need to get to the Wolfram
and Hart office building,” Angel says trying to step away from the lean body
blocking him.
“Here we go again,” Cordelia cuttingly
added.
“Angel,” Wesley began
in an almost condescending tone, reminding me of the days when he used to be my
Watcher. “I thought we had a discussion-”
“I know- but there’s not much time,”
Angel says, tugging me in tow.
“Not even enough time to say hello,”
Gunn counters sternly, looking at me.
“Hello. I’m Buffy. Sort of. Which is
part of the reason we need to leave now,” I say back at him from my place
beside Angel.
“Things are- I can’t really explain it
right now! Buffy can explain things while we drive there,” Angel says
hurriedly.
Wesley stops him, “Angel, we simply
can’t run off into the night without knowing what we’re fighting. And besides-
a very well to do client will be coming shortly. He will page me within moments
of his arrival!”
“And I’m not asking you to,” Angel
implores again, a desperately honest look caressing his features. “I’m asking
you to trust me.”
“And it’s not like we can’t trust you
right,” Cordelia yelled out to him, propping up her feet on the table in
defiance. “Cause Angel has NEVER done anything to make us not trust him...”
“I can’t do this now,” Angel slightly
moaned, grinding his teeth.
“And we can’t do this now,” Gunn
shortly responded, going back to polishing his axes.
Angel opened his eyes in disbelief at
the words. We both stand there in stunned silence as the trio continued to
prepare for their meeting. Angel quickly turned back to me on the staircase, I
don’t hesitate to nod my head in his support.
“There are some weapons in the closet,”
he tells me, pointing to the other side of the large lobby. “Get as many as you
can, plus the blueprints of the building. The plans should be inside too. I’m
going to bring the car to the front.”
Once he sees I’ve understood him, he
runs forward to the garage. On his way out he’s careful to avoid Gunn by the doorway.
I run over to the closet and rapidly start my search. I’m sorting through all
of the various items, tossing out anything I think we can use. The group says
nothing nor helps me in my search, but I’m able to find what we need. My arms
are full and I can just barely manage to close the door with my foot.
Cautiously balancing my heavy load, I make my way to the door.
“Nice seeing you again, Buffy. Next
time- call before us you ruin our chance to teach Angel a lesson,” Cordelia
vexed.
Her remark surprises even me and I turn
to her, “This has nothing to with teaching anyone a lesson! This is about
saving souls- helping the hopeless.”
“This is for Angel’s soul as well as
our own, Buffy. Angel needs to understand that we are his subordinates no
longer. We are our own individuals. AND that we do have our clients to think
about as well,” Wesley affirms, though he shoots an eye at Cordelia for her
remark.
“We all ain’t at his beck and call,”
Gunn agreed. “We have people who need us.”
“People with money,” I mumble, going as
fast as I can to the door.
Each second counts for Buffy. There is
no time for explanations… I need to run. My synapses fire with electricity,
urging my heavy metal legs as quickly as I can out the door. And I can tell my comment hits them all a
little too close to home.
“Buffy,” Wesley calls out for me in
concern.
I hear him at the door, as I pass the
end of the covered patio. But I also hear a loud beeping, piercing the night
air. Without stopping to turn my head, I know it’s coming from Wesley. It is a
sound that I know commands him to stay.
I can already feel his regret as his
eyes bore into my back. I feel all of their regret as Angel races to the curb
for me. I drop our supplies in the backseat and hop in, still aware of their
eyes on us. But as we disappear into the night, I also see a long, long, long
white limousine quickly take our place at the Hyperion’s front curb…
The large black convertible is
screaming down the street off onto LA’s highways as we both try to think. The
highway is long but Angel speeds down the roads as fast as he can.
He begins to ask me, “The procedure-”
“They’re inside the building- called in
the doctors,” I finish for him. “I think- it looks like the same room from before…”
“Before when they Xeroxed your soul,”
Angel concluded, turning onto the off ramp that led them downtown. “The
question is- how are we going to get inside there?”
“Maybe there’s no way to get in,” I say
quietly, as we slow down to pass a large park next to the skyscraper.
Angel stops the car, just at the shady
end of the vast empty green park. He turns off the ignition and moves his body
to face me. He takes my little hands in his, and I look deep into his dark
penetrating eyes of determination.
“We are going to get you out,” he vows,
easily cutting through the paradox he’s just spoken. “We will find a way to get
you out.”
“No,” I shake my head, hundreds of
guards with sharp pointed stakes marching through my mind. “There is no way we
can get secretly inside.”
Angel remains quiet at my remark as he
my massages the non-existent muscles under my silicon skin. The action is
calming and I naturally close my eyes at the feeling. I know he knows how he
affects me, because I think I have that same command over him. That when he
touches me, everything else is gone. My metal body is so light, but full of
love and peace. And even in these dire circumstances, I can’t deny how
wonderful it feels for him to touch me. I could never really deny how he makes
me feel…
“There might not be a way for us to get
secretly inside,” Angel said in sudden realization, but before I can say
anything he turns to me. “But there is a way to get you out.”
“Are you ready,” he asks me, as we walk
closer to the doors of the massive building. “Do you think you’ll be able to-”
I turn and tremble slightly as I say,
“You’re the one who’s just going to stomp right in there and get caught!”
“Not caught,” he contends. “Just a
little distraction. Once I’m in, all the guards will be called in for me. Do
you know where she is?“
“I think so. They put her in that empty
office you were talking about, with guards all over. But I still don’t like the
idea of us being separated,” I argue, holding his hand. “In your plan you never
told me exactly how you intend to dodge those half a dozen guards. All of them
with sharp pointed stakes I might add!”
“I didn’t,” he says quietly as,
removing to go inside alone.
I firmly grip his hand, “Angel you’re
not going to-”
But he places a quiet finger on my lips
to interrupt me, “I’m going to do whatever it takes to get you back with me.
Whatever it takes.”
“Remember the ‘back with you’ part of
the promise. Okay, ” I plead, my mouth even now crying out for his nearby
kissable lips.
“I will,” he promises and I can see the
desire flow in his eyes. “I have something to look forward to, you know.”
I smile at that, realizing again that
he knows what I’m thinking. I give him a slight nod and he gets ready to go
into action. We go to the side of building and he watches me as I swing his
grappling hook high in the air. I see the iron shaft fly towards the stars, and
hear its claws catch an opening far above. Yanking the rope, I look back at
Angel to make sure it’s the right office. When he nods, I begin my quick climb
high over the sidewalk and all the streetlights below. But my eyes are still
focused on Angel’s, his amber eyes- waiting… Just as I reach the top, I see him
disappear into the front of the building.
I dangle from the strong corded rope
for only a few seconds before I can faintly hear an alarm ringing inside. From
my wobbly view of the window, I can just make out several guards standing watch
over her… me. At the sound of the alarm they run out the door down the hallway.
Once the room is empty I quietly slip inside, easily getting in through the
window. Too easy.
The warrior in me stills, wondering if
this is set up. I check the nameplate on the door- Lindsey McDonald. This is
the right office. And I see myself, or rather Buffy- lying face down on a
gurney. I see Lilah’s office down the hall as well, it figures she would leave
me- Buffy in here. She smothered me as
her project- as if she were my mother.
I shake the thoughts from my head as I…
well, I give myself a hand. Buffy is still unconscious and she not that
difficult to carry. We both go out the window, I hold her tightly as I climb
back down.
“Angel,” I scream out once I’m on the
ground, running to find him.
Suddenly the glass doors burst open and
I hear Angel yell, “Run Buffy! Run!!!”
I see Angel stumble out to the front,
his hands firmly gripped around Lilah’s neck. He’s walking backwards, tugging
Lilah with him. He yells at me to get to the car and I’m running. I make sure
to stay in front of him, using my metal body as a shield for him. No guards try
to follow us, and I see the black convertible still sitting at the end of the
park.
“You don’t honestly think you’re going
away from this all squeaky clean, do you,” I hear Lilah drawl as Angel nears
the car.
“You tell me,” Angel snickers back,
pushing her against the side of the convertible.
“Seems to me that you should be doing
the thinking.”
“Please,” she coughed, Angel’s hand
still holding her tight. “The guards only let you escape because I ordered them
to.”
“After Angel took you hostage,” I shoot
back at her, placing Buffy safely inside the backseat where I can keep watch
over… myself.
Lilah ignores my comment but keeps her
eyes steadfast on Angel, “All we needed was for you to get inside. One way or
another… We’ve got you.”
“What are you talking about,” he
demands, his eyes turning golden.
“Three… Two… One,” Lilah counts before
I suddenly hear Angel scream.
“Angel! Angel,” I call out to him as he
lets go of Lilah, dropping to his knees.
“It’s amazing how physics and
metaphysics can so nicely be merged together,” Lilah gasps, as I try to help
Angel stand up.
My mind turns murderous as I yell at
her, “What is this? What game are you playing?”
“Whatever the game- I always play to
win,” she cackles to me. “Angel is experiencing the effects of what we’d call
regression…. The air inside Wolfram and Hart is the not only air conditioned-
but mixed with a hybrid of vampire toxins all meant to cause the most pain
possible.”
I shake my head in denial, “Vampires
don’t breathe!”
“He doesn’t have to,” Lilah causally
replied, straightening her blouse. “It infects just by contact with the skin.
Angel sealed his fate the moment he stepped inside.”
“You’ve poisoned me,” he rasps out to
the lawyer.
“Oh far much more than that… Among the little
mix is my favorite- something called Lyeri. Familiar with it? Lyeri makes a
vampire temporarily impenetrable- but only to keep its victims from trying to
kill themselves. It’ll keep you in AGONY until the real drug kicks in…
Doximall.”
I saw Angel’s face fall even further
away at her words, “But Doximall will-”
“Turn you back into Angelus… For only a
time, I know. But we’ve got a vial of blood and an Arabic Shaman that says
otherwise. Just as a mental note for Angelus,” Lilah gloated, hovering over
him. “Angelus- feel free to stop by for an appointment to PERMENANTLY remove
your soul. Curses gone forever- guaranteed.”
To my horror, I see the young lawyer
begin to way away. As if she had better places to be and the horrific scene
around us was just a causal occurrence.
I can only numbly ask, “Why are you
leaving him here?”
“The guards will come when our cocktail
has taken its effect… And trust me, Tin Woman- Angelus will be the LAST of your
problems once the REAL Buffy wakes up from her two surgeries,” she answers me.
“What’s that supposed to mean,” I snap
back at her but Lilah only laughs at me, walking back to her fortress of steel
and glass.
“Buffy,” Angel groans out to me, and
all I can see is the pain from every poison take their toll on his amber eyes.
“You have to go-”
“No,” I yell back in protest, cradling
his head on my lap. “I can’t just leave you here!”
He tries to push me away and gruffly mumbles,
“You’ve seen what he can do! Go!”
But I can’t go.
My soul refuses to let him go.
“I can’t… I can’t leave,” I cry to him,
stroking his hair as he no longer has the strength to try and shove me away. “I
can’t ever leave…”
Every sensor in my body is screaming…
Screaming. Screaming at the injustice. Screaming for the loss of Angel’s soul.
Screaming at the futility of my making.
I was designed for perfect happiness.
Born of sweat and magic- coming to being in a world of sorrow. A world without
my Angel in it. What good is my metal body for now? Pumped with the elixir of
creation to move and touch for his pleasure…
The elixir of creation…
The elixir.
And suddenly hope enters my heart and I
realize what I must do.
“Sit up,” I command him, wiping away my
tears. “Angel- there’s a way to save you.”
“I can’t be saved,” he lamented in
defeat, his back flush against the tires of his car.
I grab his shoulders and stare him in
the eye, “I exist, I feel- because the elixir inside of me magically binds Buffy’s
soul to my mechanical body. The elixir! Don’t you get it? Angel- you could
never lose your soul again!”
“To feed off of you,” he says wearily,
the last of his strength leaving his body. “To steal your life from you again?”
“You’ve never had to steal anything
from me. I’ve always wanted you,” I say, tracing the lines of his lips with my
fingers. “I’ve freely given you myself then- and I’m freely giving myself to
you now.”
My words still hanging in the air, I do
what I’ve wanted to do ever since I was brought into this world. Gently, I lean
forward and softly kiss Angel’s parched lips. He is surprised at first, I can
tell. But he hesitates only because he has no strength. Only for a moment. Then
he slowly kisses me back, slightly parting his mouth to softly lick my lips. I
wrap his arms around me and easily allow his sweet tongue inside- freeing
myself to his marvelous touch.
As I am bathed in the brilliance of our
love, I sense him strengthen beside me. His kiss grows bold and more daring,
suckling to tease my longing mouth. I feel his cool hand in my hair, stroking
and playing with the long strands. My hands wander down to his back, slowly
kneading his muscles as I kiss him. Letting him absorb my love through my lips.
Absorbing love- and what will give him
the soul that is rightfully his, forever.
I don’t think Angel realizes what we’ve
been doing- until it is too late. By then I see he knows my fate, and can read
my thoughts as are lips passionately play together… Talking doesn’t get across
the message- I continue to kiss, my lips explaining in a different way. He
makes me feel so light with his touches. I’m overflowing with his love.
Overflowing- and suddenly floating… I’m floating away. Floating on a cloud of our
love, I vaguely hear Angel call out to me- as I merge with the light.
Buffy Summers woke to the sound of
crisp waves crashing upon the sun bleached California sand. The cool morning
air tickled her skin as she found herself curled in the backseat of a car. She
sat up only to be greeted by a pair of anxious brown eyes.
“Buffy,” Angel hesitantly asked, as the
blonde turned to him sitting in the front seat.
Buffy blinked her eyes several times
before she jumped at him to search deep into his eyes for his soul, “Angel?”
Angel nodded and before he could brace
himself, Buffy launched herself into his arms- holding him closely to her body.
He was all to eager to accept the gift of her warmth, and they both reveled in
the joy- Angel was still here.
“I’m not sure how much you know,” he
said, still holding her tightly. “Or how much you remember- but some people
I’ve had run-ins with… Kinda demon guns for hire, a law firm if you can believe
it- named Wolfram and Hart… They kidnapped you-”
“It’s okay Angel… I know,” she soothed,
pulling only far enough away to stare into his soulful eyes. “I know-
everything…”
“Everything,” he asked her, making the
questioning connotation clear.
Buffy gave a wry grin at that, “Trying
to explain to Giles how I have TWO sets of memories from the past day or so is
easy…Watching him sputter and babble about how this might be rupturing the
fabric of the space time continuum will be difficult.”
Angel smiled at the joke but then
turned serious, “You did it. It worked… I’m here. For good. But Wolfram and
Hart- they’re still probably trying to look for us. Sunrise was coming fast… So
I took us here.”
Buffy looked around as Angel gestured
to their location and wrinkled her nose, “Where is here?”
“The Toak demon nest,” he explained,
moving to the backseat. “Not exactly the Ritz or anything but it’s near the
beach and just-“
“No, you’re right- It’s nice,” she
said, sharing his thoughts. “I can hear the ocean… I like it. And plus there’s
the big-”
“Tactical advantage,” Angel concluded
for her. “Yeah, the cave is hidden pretty well. It’s out of sight and with the
Toak’s blood smeared on the wall- it should hold as a good magical shield if
someone tries to come in.”
“Yeah,” Buffy agreed again, resting her
head on Angel’s chest.
Angel gladly let her recline on him as
she rested her right hand on his shoulder. Having each other to lean on both
emotionally and physically was far better than any kind of medicine. As Angel
leaned toward Buffy, he noticed the hospital-like identification bracelet that
graced the dainty wrist.
“Buffy,” he asked, stroking the skin
that lay beneath the plastic band.
“What did they-”
“I think- they wanted to control me… I
heard some of the doctor’s talking before they put me under. I only remember
going under the knife once- but they I heard them say-”
“There would be two operations,” he
agreed, taking a closer look at the words on the plastic.
“Lilah said last night- that when I
woke up I’d be- trouble,” Buffy confessed, as she tried to look down as well.
“Worse than Angelus she said,” Angel
remembered, looking at the tags carefully. “Encephalic Scelus implantation… ”
Buffy tried to make sense of the words, “In
the hall I lick what?”
“Encephalic Scelus implantation,” he repeated,
dumbstruck at the words. “I… I didn’t think it was possible- ”
“Possible for what? Angel, you’re scaring me
with the cryptic,” Buffy worried, looking at Angel’s dubious countenance.
Angel softly rubbed her arms and shoulders in
comfort, “I’m sorry Buffy- it’s just… It’s only supposed to be a legend.
Happens only once and then… Never again.”
“An implantation?”
“That something could be conjured… Fashioned
to be purely evil, concentrated in sin- and then attached to a living
creature,” he replied gravely.
“It’s in me isn’t it,” Buffy asked quietly, as
if she was afraid to say it out loud. “When? When will I-”
“You should already be,” Angel finished for
her. “It needs its host in order to survive.”
Buffy stared down at the flexible hospital
band, now like a grasping manacle heated to choke and burn her skin. The black
perfectly typed letters seemed to be seared on the snowy white loop. But as
Buffy looked more closely at the white ring, a tiny glimmer of hope crawled
into her heart.
“There’s no mark, Angel… Look, I don’t see a
mark,” she said excitedly, holding up her wrist for him to see.
“A mark,” he hollowly echoed, Buffy’s words
not entirely registering. “A mark for what?”
“To show that I completed the surgery. See,
this box is supposed to be checked,” Buffy beamed pointing to the empty box.
“There’s no red dot.”
Even with his keen vampire senses, Angel held
her wrist close to his face, ”No… There isn’t. But there is a red dot for the
second procedure Lilah was talking about.”
The smile quickly faded from her face, “There
is?”
“Immortalis onlay,” he read. “Oh god… It
figures- I mean… If they could only conjure this thing once, they’d want to it
survive forever. But that means-”
Buffy cocked her head to look at him,
“Immortalis? As in I’m immortal? Like I can’t get killed immortal? Eternal
youth?”
“Well I’m immortal- but I can still get
killed… Just not in the ordinary sense of the word,” he said flippantly, then
warmly looked deep into her eyes. “Buffy- if this is right-”
“This is right,” Buffy breathed, suddenly
finding herself in Angel’s lap. “It’s always been right, Angel. I’ve always
felt so-”
But Buffy’s words were suddenly muffled, as
her lips found their way to Angel’s mouth. They lost themselves in the quiet,
fathomless kiss- finally unafraid of each other and their unending love. Buffy
cradled Angel’s thighs between her tanned legs, as his arms lovingly embraced
her body in return. And though Angel had no need for breath, he pulled away
from her gasping in need.
“Buffy,” he sweetly called to her, stroking
her hair. “I love you. I always have- and there are so many other things in
your life… I just don’t want to rush-”
“It’s been two years since I’ve really felt
you inside of me,” she panted, her body rocking slightly against him. “A day-
an hour, a minute… It’s too long of a time for me not to feel you. I love you,
Angel.”
“You’re everything to me,” he professed to
her, delighting in the feel of his honesty and love that swelled in his heart.
“You’re my best friend. My love. My partner…”
“Your wife,” she pointedly added just before
his lips slipped back to hers again. “Don’t think I haven’t read about Irish
wedding customs… Our claddaughs…”
Buffy felt Angel’s smile against her mouth as
he sheepishly replied, “That too… Mmmm, I think- its time for us to be husband
and wife now.”
“Definitely,” Buffy cooed, as the back of her
palm caressed the side of his face.
Angel’s sable eyes met with Buffy’s emerald
orbs, and they both knew that fate had blessed their union. Though other people
had drifted in and out of their lives, the ties between them had only
strengthened. No one could ever erase or eclipse all of the consuming passion
and love they had for each other. Destiny had tried to temper their love with
distance. But now, Destiny saw what truly made their love wonderful- being
fully able to express that love to each other. With their words, with their
bodies, with their entire souls.
Their lips melded together again, as fate
surrendered to will of their hearts and longing bodies. Buffy and Angel sank
into their united souls, freely meandering to the release of their love.
Suddenly the world seemed so bright- not from mere daylight, but from their
love. It wasn’t as if all of their problems merely vanished, but were suddenly
easier to resolve… Not as hopeless as they were when they were alone. Every
aspect of their lives: their gender, their history, their personalities met all
at once, in this moment- mouths engulfing but wanting more…
“I could do this forever,” she moaned,
beginning to remove his dark trenchcoat.
Angel chuckled in return as he flung the
garment to the front seat, “You do realize that’s possible now, right?”
“You know… We can do lots of other things forever
too,” she whispered suggestively, her eager hands already unbuttoning his
shirt.
“Forever,” he mused, losing himself in their
smoldering lock of her lips. “Forever…”
Angel let Buffy slowly undo the small buttons of
the gray shirt, her lips never leaving his mouth. She nipped at his exposed
nipples, and Angel let out a groan that sounded through out the cavern. Buffy
giggled at the sound, wanting to elicit his moans again. Her lips went back to
his chest, teasing him her with tongue as her hands went lower. She rubbed his
lean undulating hips, still encased in his black pants. Angel nibbled the top
of her left ear, thrilled at Buffy’s cries of pleasure as he did this.
Together, they quickly shed him of his gray
shirt. The silk article fell next to his trenchcoat, and Buffy was eager to see
that his pants followed. She had spread her legs a little wider, then sat up
straight to seductively remove them. Before she had time for his boxers,
Angel’s lips latched onto her throat. Angel kissed and suckled the warm flesh,
making Buffy groan just as loudly as he had before. His hands went to her
breasts, kneading and massaging the soft swell of skin. Angel carefully stroked
the tender breasts, making the thin cotton reveal the rosy outline of her
hardened nipples.
Buffy’s mouth hung open as she felt Angel
travel lower… Suddenly slipping his hand under her flimsy hospital gown. She had no underwear beneath, Angel making
direct contact with her naked skin. His palms stroked the curves of her bare
backside, while his mouth massaged her lips in the same way. He fondled her
feminine curves, teasing the back orifice slightly before bringing his hand
back up to her chest. Angel’s right hand joined his left, and they stroked
Buffy’s sensitive nipples once more. Only now his fingers had delved under the
fabric, sweetly meeting her enflamed flesh.
They were melting, boiling in the physicality
of their passions. Each touch, each kiss and gasp rising the temperature
between them. Both were busting to complete each other, their mutual arousal
blazing- but they wanted to completely enjoy their love. Savoring the seduction
between them, taking in heaving ragged breaths to continue without
combustion…yet.
Angel’s expert hands left the sanctuary of her
breasts and moved to relax the muscles in her long graceful neck. His mouth
followed the path of his hands, kissing her still clothed figure. Once he
reached her shoulders, his hands and mouth parted for separate exotic locales.
Angel’s mouth descended back to the tiny dip below her throat, tasting the well
of skin and heat. His hands rested behind at her warm nape, relaxing the
muscles of her neck- but also, searching… The quest ended when he found the
white solitary straps of Buffy’s hospital gown. Angel pulled the loose knot
undone, while his mouth eagerly sought out more of Buffy’s long beautiful neck.
He didn’t even have to move away to pry the gown loose. All he did was gingerly
pull it away from her body, and set it aside next to his own clothes.
Though, he did move his face away from hers
just barely- so his eyes could feast on the banquet of her naked body. Buffy
saw up close his ear to ear grin, and moved away a little further- to fully
take in the precious smile.
Buffy’s refined but strong hands rubbed his
pectoral muscles in sensual circles, “I demand my private Angel show too.”
He chuckled again in Buffy’s mock anger and
held her tightly, “Just enjoying the view.”
A look of determination suddenly surfaced
through her lusty eyes- shooting them open for a moment, “It’s time I get to
enjoy my view too.”
Her hands departed from his cool defined
chest, down to his abdomen. Buffy stopped to trace each tight muscle, before
pulling away again to see Angel’s reaction. To her surprise, his eyes were not
closed in ecstasy- but wide open in rapture. Buffy could tell he was all but
coming at their touches, but his eyes were squarely focused on her. Watching
her body- her hands rub his wild erection, gazing deep into Buffy’s eyes for
her soul. Even with his eyes, Angel made love to her. His stare was smooth but
powerful and felt just as thrilling as his hands at her lower curves.
Buffy needed more then just her touching and
Angel’s mouth now back at her neck. Boldly acting on their needs, she ripped
the black silk from Angel as her lips assailed his penis. Angel was lost in the
quick motion, hissing in passion and approval. How his tongue had delighted in
tasting the wonders of her neck, only then to feel Buffy’s strong attentive
mouth on the most intimate part of his body. Angel was surprised he hadn’t
orgasmed then and there. He certainly felt it- the rush, the exhilaration… Yet
Angel knew he was still very hard… getting even harder- and very wanting.
Buffy was intent to make him spill for her, to
taste what she had been denied for so long. It was only Angel she had ever
tasted (had ever wanted to for that matter), and she was ambitiously seeking
the savory sweetness again.
Buffy had quickly gulped his liquid ice, the
cool pre-ejaculate hitting the bottom of her throat moments before Angel’s
large member did. In her first stroke she had completely engulfed him, to the
very root. Though she gripped his perfectly proportioned buttocks to brace
herself, to keep her throat from constricting and rejecting him. Buffy kept him
deep inside of her mouth, stilling him from any movements- enjoying the moment.
Her knuckles turned white at the gripping, steadying herself until she was
ready to actively suck.
Easing into him, she smiled in anticipation. Finally,
her tight lips moved down to slurp and suck, leaving Angel absolutely quiet at
the raging sensations. There was no sound or words, demonic, human, or even
primal to describe how she effected him. Or for how much he loved and
worshipped her. Her tongue tickled his underside, before massaging the top of
his member. Buffy’s hands weren’t idle either, she squeezed and sweetly
handling his plush sacs. Her mouth quickly went to each of those sacs,
practically swallowing them whole. Angel could feel them tighten inside of her,
as she siphoned the perfect rounded ovals.
Up until now, Buffy’s hands had gripped his
backside- holding his body in place for her. Now that her hands were
deliciously occupied elsewhere, it left him free to roll his pelvis just like
she rolled her tongue. Buffy encouraged him to buck forward into her mouth,
completely adjusted to such a towering presence within her. Angel didn’t feel
the need at first, her talented mouth producing pleasure he only imagined these
long years away. More bliss washed over him, and all at once Angel was lost in
its tempestuous currents. He found himself again- as he thrusted into her
wanting mouth. Lunging into her luxurious mouth, reveling in her warm
tightness. Only Buffy could provide such sweetness as he plunged deep inside of
her. Stroking, rubbing until finally howled in glory, rushing headfirst into
orgasm. He felt like a grand river- surging into Buffy’s mouth with his come,
again and again and again. Yelling out his joy, emptying himself into her.
Buffy took all of her prize and even after he stilled, cleaned both of them of
his sticky goodness.
Angel lay flat against the large leather
backseat, massaging Buffy’s resting blonde head at his hip. They deeply panted
in the aftermath of their passion, Buffy feeling as if she had orgasmed enough
for the both of them. She could have easily fallen asleep from such an
adventure, but the urgency to touch Angel quickly shook her from the sleepy
lust.
This time however, Angel was the first to take
action. Faster than even her Slayer senses could perceive, he inverted their
positions. Buffy found her back pressed against the black leather seats, with
Angel’s head hovering in the valley of her breasts. From the beginning, Angel
wanted to make her come as hard and as many times as she had him. Now he saw his chance. Angel began
tenaciously teasing her breasts with his tongue and mouth, sucking not unlike
Buffy had with him earlier. His hands played and tweaked the other of the ample
pair, before switching. Buffy found Angel’s mouth on the other side of her,
while his expert hands enraptured her at the other wetted breast.
Buffy sat on one of Angel’s knees, his thick
manhood hard at her waist. Angel continued this sweet onslaught, very aware of
Buffy’s arousal gushing out on his thighs. He let go of her twin delights, to
stop and savor the first tang of Buffy’s come. Angel wiped the honey off of his
skin, his now wet fingers flying to his mouth for a taste. Buffy smiled to
watch Angel enjoy her, happily noting that Angel hungered for her come just as
much as she did his.
When he thoroughly devoured the morsel, he
opened his eyes with a mission. Angel quietly voicing endearments to his love,
and ventured to find Buffy’s fit stomach. He tasted the skin and muscles there
before circling his tongue around her belly button. Angel circled it several
times before delving into it, clearly demonstrating what awaited Buffy’s
quivering core.
Angel took a long drawn moment to smell
Buffy’s curls and the rest of the heavenly scent that wafted from deep inside
her heat. To her excitement he then slid down to her thighs, a glowing shine in
Angel’s eyes. Angel peppered both her thighs and wet outer silken folds with
kisses. Buffy felt she had come again just from that touch alone, but her
insides still wept for him. She squealed, knowing that he had only begun with
her. Buffy felt she was on the brink of
explosion, but still pleasurably captivated in his careful ministrations.
Angel then stuck his tongue out, to gradually
lick her thighs- as if she were a cold popsicle melting her sweetness for him.
Upon licking off all of her honey from her thighs, he turned to the wet
slippery entrance before him.
Slowly, Angel kissed and lightly passed his
tongue over the pliant exterior flesh before he actively lapped Buffy up.
Buffy’s tiny o shaped mouth grasped silently, letting her body and her soul do
all of the talking for her. He now
slipped inside of the flesh, tasting the walls of shaking heat before gulping
more of her steamy sticky pleasure.
Now Angel’s tongue dove into her center,
hoarding all of the sweet arousal that filled his mouth. He tasted the heady
tang of her inner walls, gliding over several of her g-spots in the one area.
Not wanting to stop his exploration of her insides, Angel replaced his tongue
with one of his long fingers. She rode his index finger, easily taking in two
more of his fingers along for the ride. Her palms, which had gripped his
shoulders the entire time, guided him elsewhere. Buffy now entreated him a
little further up, to her pulsing swollen blossom. He let his nose nuzzle the
area fondly and Buffy jerked down to meet him. Lightly circling the area, she
enjoyed the long sweet moments of his seduction. Before she knew it he had
taken the entire bud into his mouth, gently nursing it. Soon the soft unhurried
happiness, turned into fast ravaging swallows.
Her muscles inside and out were clenching in
passion- releasing but not nearly finishing her pent-up desire. Her charged
bundle of nerves were intensely and repeatedly titillated by Angel’s tongue.
Buffy could suddenly feel him stroke her everywhere, his touches calling her to
come for him. It seemed as though she had spent forever in his bliss, wallowing
in the cool cavern of his mouth. Ever since they had begun this renewal of
their love, she felt herself coming. With her breasts jiggling and her body in
full motion, she physically orgasmed in him. Joyfully falling into the hardest,
all encompassing, most erotic set of orgasms Buffy had ever felt. Slamming into
him over and over, Buffy was hollering her completion. Wildly letting her cries
reverberate on the rocky walls, as she drove deep into his satisfying mouth.
Buffy could even hear Angel’s slurps as she stilled, not stopping until he
swallowed her come whole.
Buffy stroked Angel’s crown of brown thick
spiky hair, as he continued to softly lap at her entrance. In the back of her
mind she knew that his teasing should hurt, yet he touched her with such a
gentle ardor Buffy could feel nothing but quiet bliss.
The craving of Buffy’s lips bloomed within
him, and Angel found himself at her sweet lips once again. They their hot
kisses were flavored with each other’s come, adding a fiery spice to their
already lusty lip locking. Tasting their lover’s arousal, just made Angel and
Buffy enthralled for each other again. They would always have an enduring need
for each other, a love that extended beyond anything else in their lives.
Knowing each other’s thoughts, Angel poised
himself at Buffy’s hot entrance and Buffy opened herself to meet him. Angel
eased his manhood deep into her, gasping for focus. He filled her with one
stroke, seating himself perfectly within her. Buffy gasped for air too,
enraptured at how wonderful it felt to be with him like this.
They seated themselves upright, both of their
legs wrapped around each other. Almost like they were twined into a little ball
of flesh and love. Buffy’s arms easily encased her husband’s body, fondly
tracing the Celtic griffin tattoo. Angel nibbled her neck again, stopping to
smell her sweet vanilla hair. Savoring her aroma, Angel thrusted into Buffy-
his hands tangling in the blonde locks. Buffy used her tiny hips to dive
forward onto his member, squeezing as she went. Her ample breasts rubbing
against Angel’s male nipples, driving her into passions as well.
She pulled herself forward, and Buffy lost
herself in his lips again. Angel’s tongue explored her mouth just as he
explored her flooded insides, caressing the all of Buffy’s erogenous flesh. She
was so tight around him, gripping his back with her tiny hands and gripping his
penis with her womb. They inclined their bodies, easing the movement needed for
this soulful titillation. Easier for them to dive deeper into each other,
easier to ride Angel’s manhood, easier to burnish Buffy’s ruddy blossom.
Angel felt so alive, so needed and wanted in
Buffy’s tiny arms. Only one look into her eyes, or feel of her touch said
volumes about the love she had for him. Angel had felt all of those sweet
emotions as well, reveling in the freedom and peace only Buffy could give to
him. Their bodies wetly smacked, adding to their mutual groans of desire.
Years of longing, lonely nights- so many roads
taken to end up unfulfilled. An eternity of being unloved and alone was broken
with their love making, and gave way to such unimaginable bliss. It was too
much to fully articulate- their intertwining perspiring bodies, roaming hands,
and throbbing nerves… But they knew the unending depths of their love, the
unspoken rightness of it. They could feel the surging in their blood, the
coming pleasure that would soon be unleashed.
Angel and Buffy finally crashed into each
other, grinding their bodies as the light of their love washed through them.
They swam in this heady musky rush, as they both convulsed in pleasure. Angel
slammed into Buffy’s quivering womb, spilling into her so much and so
hard… And she gripped him back for
more, cooing when he lovingly delivered himself to her. They rode out of their
sweetly shared orgasms until they fell back onto the leather interior with a
slick slap.
Neither moved, for fear of the other leaving.
Angel worried his weight was too heavy on his beloved, Buffy scared that Angel
wanted space. Yet they collectively realized, within their single embrace how
much in love they both were. Each dared to look into the other’s eyes, and saw
the other’s devotion. They both smiled. No one was going anywhere. Buffy
couldn’t help but trace her fingers through Angel’s hair again, and twisted her
hips to make them both sigh in arousal.
“Mmmmm,” Angel purred, moving his mouth to
kiss the inside of her wrists.
He brought his lips to the dainty spot, when
he saw the hospital band again. The words WOLFRAM AND HEART blared beneath his
lips, stopping his amorous move. Angel turned to look at Buffy, as he instead
tucked away a loose strand of hair behind her ear.
“They’ll be looking for me,” he said quietly
to her, rubbing her tiny cheek.
Buffy nodded as she leaned into his touch,
“What do you think we should do?”
Angel looked out to the daylight outside,
“We’re close to the LA city limits- Sunnydale isn’t too far away after that.
Once it’s dark, we need to-”
“Leave LA,” Buffy finished their shared
thought. “Yeah. But I mean- I love you, Angel. Will you… Will we-”
“Whatever happens, I can’t ever be without you
again,” he professed, and Buffy could see the fierce resolution in his eyes.
“Angel- I need to tell you something… I’m
worried,” Buffy confessed to him. “About Glory-”
His face was wilted into a frown, “Is Dawn-”
“Dawn is okay… For now. I can feel her. She’s
like- Dawn is a part of me. I know the gang and Giles are keeping her safe. But
I don’t know if I can take out Glory alone and still make it out in one piece.”
“Buffy you can and will defeat her. Then live
to boast about it. You’re so strong. And brave. You don’t have to do it alone,
either. You have Giles and everyone else. And Buffy, if you want me-“
“Of course I want you,” Buffy cried out,
cuddling herself closer to him. “Anyone with less than half a brain would want
you…”
“Not Wes, Cordy and Gunn,” Angel noted sadly.
“I practically betrayed them. You and the three of them are my connection to
the light, Buffy… I… They don’t trust me now.
I fired them- and I slept with Darla.”
“Lilah told me,” Buffy said, quieting him.
“Angel, with people as powerful as they are- it’s no wonder you… lost your way
for a bit. But you’re here with me now. And I love you.”
“I know… I love you too,” he agreed quietly,
resting on his soulmate’s shoulder.
Buffy sighed, “Can’t force trust. And no trust
equals no good done. Maybe they just need a while more… Before they can see you
like I do, you know?”
Angel looked up into her eyes, “How do you see
me?”
“I see someone I can trust with totally
everything. Someone I can really count on. I love you and I know that you love
me,” she said thoughtfully, before turning playful. “I also you see as majorly
gorgeous when your naked.”
Angel and Buffy laughed at her remark, loving
how easily their problems could be resolved when they were together. The
solution to the problems and worries of their lives was their love. By
completely loving each other, they had the strength to deal with hell gods,
evil law firms and every other kind of chaos. Together.
A mirthful smirk appeared on his lips as he
thought of ways to spend the daylight hours with her, “So you think I should
talk to them completely naked, huh?”
“Well,” Buffy smiled, as they drew their nude
forms even closer together. “Maybe not them… You could just talk to me in the
nude.”
“Just talking,” he asked, smelling Buffy’s
arousal in the air and feeling his own.
“I’m sure there are a multitude of other
activities we can think of when we’re together,” Buffy flirted back, reaching
down to tenderly rub her husband.
“I’m thinking of a few we could squeeze in
right now,” he groaned, entreating her lips for more sweet kisses.
“What did you have in mind,” she breathlessly
asked, tightly running her fist up and down.
“This,” he said, spreading her legs and using
his hard erection to fill her burning core.
Buffy softly grunted at the move, clamping her
thighs around his waist once again. Angel’s mouth traveled back to her neck, as
he focused on what he wanted to ask her.
“So... Ahhhh! Oooooh, Buffy- how does
forever….upppphhhh…sound? Can I- I- oooh, stay with you forever,” he stammered
while licking Buffy’s neck and quickly thrusting into limber body.
“Forever works for me,” she groaned, falling
back into the locomotion of their bodies and their eternal love.
“Forever….oooohhh, god! We can uuuuummmm! Forever… ahhhh… Works.”
THE END OR IS IT???