Chapter Eleven: A Circle Returns Unto Itself
The "Culture"
August 9, 2000
Well I have a lot to write. I went to the conference and at Annie McKenna’s talk got very triggered. She was talking about chocolate and how they gave it to you after a session to help you forget the incident. I saw in my minds’ eye a picture like a poster of chocolate soup with all my littles falling and drowning in it. I also saw an airplane half submerged and the white house the same. It started releasing something.
Then later, while in the hotel foyer, I was talking to a lady named TOC, pronounced 'talk'. She said the same thing over and over. I was asking her advice about teaching my therapist about SRA etc., and she gave me the names of some books to read. While listening to her I started to see a large strobe machine go off in front of my eyes. It was awful. It was flashing a white light continuously at me. It was intended to put me into a trance. I don’t know what triggered it, but it lasted a whole minute or more. It was very, very real.
Then I remember XXX's talk. She was talking about the 13 families of the Illuminati and the 3 groups of 13 above them and the one group of 15 above them. A picture of a golden sword, now I hear chanting, came into my mind. It was solid gold upside down on the upward side of a wall with a large ruby red jewel in the middle at the handle. There was like a fireplace mantel below it. That’s where I saw it from. There were 13 people dressed in dull black robes standing there also. I was standing in front of XXX talking in the hallway when this came. I saw the wall with the sword open up and a large, very large room comes into view like a cavern. There were the other 3 groups of 13. On the left side in front of me were a group of 6 dressed in white hooded robes with a blue sash, next to them were a group of 7 white hooded robes with a red sash,
the same on the other side of the cavern only switched. Then behind them were the 13 dressed in white hooded robes with a yellow/gold sash. Then I hesitated, as I knew there should be more. I then saw in my minds eye, again all while standing next to XXX in the hotel hallway outside the conference room, 15 in black robes coming down from the ceiling. They were women. XXXX confirmed that I was right. My mind flashed with the knowledge from Rebecca Brown’s book, “He Came To Set the Captives Free” and how she had saved a woman who was sold at birth to do the same. I then saw my grandmother’s face in the fourth hood over. It was some kind of ceremony. I don’t think I had seen this before.
Then later in thinking about it, more came to me.
I see these same women with the powers of darkness flowing from their hands outstretched together aimed at a newborn child lying on the cavern floor. I see it as if I am up in the air with them, almost. Like I was elevated but not to their height which was about ten feet. I was at about 5 feet. This power came out of their hands like a purple bluish streak(s) of lightening and they all touched upon the child at one time. In my innocence I did not and do not know if it killed the child or if it helped the child.
I could see different expressions on the different faces, all of them in their own way enjoying and savoring this moment. I think it killed the child. I feel very sad inside.
Now I see The Father or Satan in gold and white. His illuminescense is so bright with light I can’t see his face. He comes and picks up the child and eats him whole. The women fall down onto the floor and are limp. He walks over to me and picks me up and puts me in the air all alone and commands me, “In the name of Jesus Christ, I announce thee to become one with him forever. In the name of Jesus Christ, Acumen.” Then he said, “Your Jesus is real. Their Jesus is a liar and fake who does not know the Father. The Father sent me to destroy the wicked and save the innocent. You are the innocent. Follow me, child, and you shall be eternally free of sickness, illness, disease, mutilation, hunger and thirst and have all the blessings of this world that it can offer. I am pleased with thee little one, you have done well. I am sorry your mother
cannot be here. She chose to go her own path at a young age. I hope you chose not to follow her.” He put me down and the women arose. It was time for the ceremony.
[Note from "Branton": Is Wendella here referring to a COUNTERFIET "Christ" who CONDONES these rituals?]
I was disrobed and naked. The evil spirits of cleansing were put upon me to cleanse my mind. It hurt. I felt pain everywhere. Then they stabbed me in the heart with a silver (chalice) knife. Blood came pouring out of my body. I started to jerk. He said, “If you believe in the real Christ, me, Glory and Honor will come upon you and you will live. If you do not you will die”. I didn’t know what he meant but a man beautiful appeared in my mind and said, “Covenant with me child and you shall be healed. I do not stand for evil, but good. Search your heart always and be free in the quest for truth in this life. I will always be with you. Now close your eyes and I will heal your wound and seal your blood upon my garments to serve and protect you until you are safe enough to go out on your own. I love
you,” and I felt tears fall from his eyes and touch my chest.
The wound healed and the women gasped. They had never seen a child live from this ceremony. The Father himself was angry and went to pick up my body and toss it to the other wall across the side of the cavern. I saw the man who appeared to me make himself known to those within the cavern. They were shocked.
[Note from "Branton": THIS one who steps-in is apparently the TRUE Jesus who came to counter the evil work of the other - "false" - "Christ"]
He said, “I have paid the price for the sins of all. There is no law whereby I cannot come and claim my own. You shall not have her. She belongs to me now and forever. If any of you dare to challenge me on this take upon you the word, sword; of Christ now and defend yourself. I command you to set this child free of these evil covenants you place upon her or I will use her to show the world my power and for generations to come. Your secrets will be free within her mind and heart and soul to disperse and shed the truth so that others may be free. Now, I say now! Take upon thee the sword or Forever Be Damned!”
No one moved, and Christ came and picked up my body and handed it to my grandmother. He said, "Thou shalt desecrate this holy temple no more without consequence. Take off thy robes and go home and beg forgiveness of thee.” He gave me to my grandmother and left.
In a fit of rage Satan started killing everyone. My grandmother fled.
I have in my mind being in a limousine driving up to a gate at an estate in the country. There were olive trees there or something that looked like them. It was a huge old castle like house gray brick/stone. My grandmother brought me to a man who I never saw his face. She begged him to accept me instead of my mother to fulfill the proxy she had made at my mother’s birth. The incident of Christ’s appearance was discussed and discounted as a show of false power.
To make this more clear, Jenny is a little inside me who chose to speak to me for the first time while writing the memory above. After I wrote what she wanted to say, I continue the memory with 'Slicing Oranges'.
Jenny
Jenny just said she wanted to talk to me. She said I was her baby and that she was born black. That they didn’t want any black people in the coven so they let me, mommy go. She said she was three and never wanted to grow up. She said that they killed her and ate her brains. She said she wanted a hug. I felt peace in talking to her. I have always felt a part of me was Negro somehow and always loved them. She said I was eight years old when it happened that they always test the body genetics, as so many things are not known from the past. I can see myself slightly enlarged and feeling heavy. They drugged me and took the child. They did experiments on both of us. It was my mother’s way of fighting them. She knew if I had a black child they would let me go. I love you Jenny, and you are always welcome to live inside me. I will see you in
person when I die and we are reunited. She was 3 days old when they killed her.
'Slicing
This is a continuation of the meeting with the old man.
They decided to do the orange treatment on me and see if I really had accepted Christ. They had me hold an orange on a table. They told me to slice the orange along with the tips of my fingers on my left hand. They said if I accepted The Father, meaning Satan, I would feel no pain and there would be no blood and no scars and I would be healed instantly. I was scared. The drink they gave me made me dizzy and I didn’t know what to do.
I see the real Christ again in my minds eye - smiling saying, “They cannot fool us, little one. Do as they say and I will let the blood flow from your hands and they will feel the pain you would have. Trust me.”
So I started to cut and they started screaming, “Stop, Stop. What are you doing! Stop, child. No! No! Its not supposed to be this way”. I continued and cut through all five fingertips not feeling anything. Then the old man turned and I saw his ugly face. I had given him sexual pleasures and recognized him.
He was very furious and said, ”Child, I don’t know what evil you posses but it seems to me we shall do another test.” He told me to disrobe and lay down on the floor. He rang a bell and a servant came out carrying a black and purple velvet robe. The servant placed it over my body as I lay on the floor. The old man said some words of magik, words I can’t hear to write or repeat. The same sword came flying off of the wall and stopped mid air above me pointed down at my heart. The old man said to me, “Child. Spare your life. Perform the Dance of the Ancients and I will let you live.” I didn’t know what to do. I had no idea of what he was talking about. I looked at my hand and all my fingers were normal and there was no sign of damage.
I thought to myself, “ Man in white, so glorious and right, if you be a good man, come to my aide and abide me this night.” I saw and watched as the sword began to dance. It made me smile. It went up toward the ceiling and then pointed all the directions starting east, then it made the five pointed star and then it started to go to the old man and he said, “Halt. You have proved yourself worthy to live and partake of the Covenant of the Ancients. If you want to live, place the sword on the table.” Of course I could see this good man do all the dancing with the sword and I could see him take the sword and place it on the table. Then he took it and kissed it blessing it to never harm another again and placed it on the wall.
I opened my mouth without permission and said, “Kindly sir, I have returned the sword in the stone to its proper place. I suggest you let it rest there for a time.”
He said nothing.
Then he asked me to dance in the air. Well I asked my friend who was still there what to do as he was the one performing all the tricks for this old man. We were actually having fun with all this hocus pocus nonsense. We knew he was bad and he knew he was old. He knew something was wrong but not what.
I see myself adorn an outfit, how I don’t know and start dancing on top of the same table I cut my fingers on. I was a ballerina. I danced and did what the Master, my friend, told me and the man fell asleep. My grandmother believed we had done what we were supposed to and took me by the hand and left. I don’t think I ever saw him again. His name was Albert McGinney (fictitious name).
My grandmother was very kind to me as long as I didn’t speak. She didn’t like any talking. We went a lot of places together. Airports mostly. She knew lots of men in the Air Force as she worked for them and they would ask her favors of me and she obliged. I don’t think she ever thought twice to say no.
I don’t remember much more at the moment about this. I will write the other memories that came from the conference.
Spinning
I woke up at 12:30 am with a huge pain in the upper right side of my head and eye. I went in and talked to my son for an hour. I felt drugged. The term belladonna, which I have heard before, comes to mind. I felt like my bones had been operated on. I couldn’t talk very well and I can’t remember much except the pain. When I woke up the next morning it was still bad. It lasted a total of about 24 hours before it subsided and if I think at all about it its still there.
The only pictures that came were of something being placed into my skull via the bone behind my nose between my eyes. The ideas came that they put mercury into my brain to make it easier for me to go into the alpha state for psychic channeling.
I see me inside a black fish net hanging upside down. My body is bent in half. I am very cold. I am spinning, spinning, and spinning. I am very dizzy.
I see a chair down below. It is black. The room I am in is black. It’s a long way down. They tell me not to think. How can you think when all you want to do is throw up and can’t. I feel my feet tingly and sort of cold. My head is throbbing kind of how it feels right now in writing about it. They stop. I am limp. They put me on a cold concrete wet floor and water starts to trickle in. I have been through this before. If you move more water touches you more quickly and you get shocked faster. I curled up into a ball and waited. The fear of the water coming is terrible. They turned on the lights, bright, white, not flashing at first and then the whole room is moving and I am still on the floor. My only orientation becomes the pain I feel when the water shocks my toes, then ankles then all of my
feet. It starts to touch my elbows and
I screammmmmmmmmmmm.
I believe if it gets to my head I will die. I have died before and then they play with my body while it is dead and then revive me and I am sore. It is awful. Now the room is all green, a soft green, somehow it makes me want to go to sleep but sleep might mean death. I can’t stay awake. I am gone. I wake up in a small room that is all white with a small window above my head. I see a shadow there somehow. I don’t know where I am. I haven’t been here before. I hear children playing and laughing but cannot see them. The sounds fade, then screaming. I think at first that it’s my screaming but I can’t see any reason for me to scream and my mouth is closed. I close my eyes and see red, all red, blood red. I don’t like it. When I open my eyes the most
awful man I have ever seen is there. He has very dark eyebrows and is tall to me. He pulls back the sheets covering my naked body and says, “Yes, she will do.” He takes off his coat and starts to undress. He puts a cloth in my mouth and starts to touch me with a probe. It doesn’t hurt bad, but it’s not good. He touches me everywhere with it. Then he places his finger inside my vagina. It’s too small so he uses his tongue. When he touches me there it feels good and I am confused. He turns me over and puts the probe in my bottom. It makes me mess on myself and he washes me off. He lays on top of me and enters me. I cant breath. He is grunting. He shoves very hard and it hurts in my ears. As he does this he calls me, “Candy, Candy, oh how I miss you dear sweat Candy.” When he is done he pulls up his pants and puts me to sleep with a shot in my arm and
says, “Sandy Bolton, you are mine and you will not remember. Abracadabra amen.” Then he hits me on the side of the head and leaves.
A nurse comes in. I see a picture of a hospital my father took me to in my mind. It’s where I always took my pink poodle. One of my littles gave me back my pink poodle today. I can’t remember who it was. I gave Emily my teddy bear so she could leave the electric chair and come with the other littles in the cloud. It’s safe in the cloud. She gets me ready to go home. She said my daddy was waiting outside and he was going to take me for some ice cream. When he came in to the doorway she kissed him and said thankyou and gave him money.
Now I see me at home and my daddy is very angry. He is yelling at my mom and I am tired and don’t want to listen. Names are called and it’s not pleasant. She threatens to leave and he says he doesn’t care. She tells him she is pregnant and he says, “By whom?” She cusses at him and he says, “It better not be a little black bastard like my mommy had or I will kill you.” She runs out of the room and he comes and lays down with me. He takes off my clothes and starts playing with me. I try to ignore him but he seems to turn himself on. “You will never sleep with a black whore will you my precious as you will always be mine.” He turns me over and enters me. It hurts. I leave my body as usual and wait for him to
finish. I don’t like him anymore. He leaves and I have to go to the bathroom and make a mess. Mommy doesn’t know why I make messes like I do all the time. She thinks its plums or something. I hear Tommy crying. I wish he would shut up. I hate his crying. She always goes to see why he cries but she never helps me so I don’t cry anymore. I will go talk to my friends, my stuffed animals. They never talk back to me or hurt me. They will always be my friends.
I feel to briefly mention J who is in charge of my littles in the cloud in my mind and heart who banded together to stop the suicide programming that kicked in when I prayed for forgiveness. The only thing that they could do to stop it was to flood my mind with memories so it would jam the programming. Well it worked. I know now that my obsession with going home is a program similar to the monarch 'cocoon' program.
Going 'home' is death.
J told me that my littles were accessed by thoughts, not touch or symbols etc. and that they took all the material I read and grouped themselves together and except the littles who haven’t integrated all of them shared the pain equally so that I could live a normal life. I will never not have them. They will always be a part of me until the resurrection unless Christ says otherwise. There are many with many memories some good some bad. J stands for Joe inside and loves Jesus outside so he wants to be called J. He told me that I have to let the perps inside alone and that their memories will convict the perps if and when it happens. He said that all men create new littles by their voices until the old littles integrate and see if the man is going to hurt me. They aren’t afraid of XXXXXX anymore but they don’t completely trust him. They trust
XXXXX, as he seems different somehow. Susan was the one who was spinning. I helped her and she is now okay. Ben was there but I can’t remember what he was. Susan is a little black girl in an electric chair with water at her feet.
Writing my thoughts:
“There are 500 alters with a matrix grid of 12 times 10 times 10. It is divided into 3 sections; birth, death and life all connected to the other 4 girls in your group. Patty, Nancy, Drew and Karen. Those were not their real names. Diane may be one of them. Only time will tell. You cannot access your grid without fear of death so don’t try. We, I, J, will help you unravel the puzzle as it comes. It was in a shape of a peacock’s feather as in an old Indian way. Your handler didn’t like the way Mengele did things the same all the time. The spinners are in the center instead of on the outside. Susan was the key. You won’t be triggered unless some danger comes to us and I think that you know enough to protect yourself. Keep this quiet for a very long time and when it is safe you can speak. Your perp
is not dead Wendella, he lives within you as well as outside. He is a very old man who has much power through all his descendants and does not want to be known. His pacts with the devil go back generations with your family the H---tons and Mc----eys to
“Help those whom I send and much power and grace will be granted unto you. The littles will speak when it is needful and mindful. Write down what they say as a testimony of your abuse and their existence. I am He who went to the Heavens to descend into hell to save those of my sheep he chose to conquer. We were in the Heavens together as one, testifying of the plan of salvation forever. It is my work and for my glory to bring to pass the immortality and eternal life of man. I love you Wendella for your courage. Trust your B----p to bring you members of the church to help you. I will guide and direct him. He is a simple humble man who has shown great compassion on you and your family and his blessings will be great for what he will do. THERE ARE THOSE IN THE QUORUMS who would want to stop you but with his guidance we will succeed. Go now
and love your children, very very, special children. I will always be with you. You are never alone.”
Your Lord and Savior Jesus Christ.
Return to Montauk
August 12, 2000
I am very sad and upset today. My new friend moved, and I have feelings and am confused. I asked J what to do and he showed me a picture that goes with a memory and told me to write it down.
I see my toes and my feet. They look small and round. There is something attached to each toe with wires. Then they are touching my feet, one spot at a time and recording from a helmet on my head with wires and now I see splotches on body I am hooked up to. It made me jerk when they touched my toes. I remember at a very young age teaching myself not to be ticklish. I hated it. There is a large room. The same room the 5 girls were in. I am alone in it. I see the lights and the city by the river. I see it is night yet I am drugged and can’t tell for sure if it is really evening. There is a man looking down at me smiling. He is so confident in what he is doing. He doesn’t talk. He has a woman assistant dressed in white clothing. There is a part of my mind that longs for him to finish and leave me alone. I jerk again. I don’t know what or why
I am jerking. I leave my body and can see all of me in the chair. It is a black reclining chair. I see a big round light hanging above me. There is the computer and a tray near me with needles and other instruments on it. He is picking up a needle and puts it directly into my eye. I feel nothing. It is always my right eye. I start spinning even though I am out of my body. He is so sadistic. He says something like, “Come to me. Come to me”, over and over. I have no idea what he is trying to get me to do. I see my astral self go to his physical body and try to smother him. He can’t feel me. I am so angry. He thinks he owns my heart, mind and soul and he doesn’t own any part of me. I like him in that he is so stupid he really can’t hurt me. I am jerked back into my body and I am swimming in it. I can’t focus myself on anything. It’s like being in a whirlwind. There is no safe place, in or out of my body as they control all of me. “We are done.” He tells his assistant. I can see her
hands take the rings off of my toes. My body is limp. I leave it again. She carries me out of the room down the hall. I can see the city lights leaving. I go to the sun room. They bathe you in yellow and then green light. Pink was my favorite color but you only got that very seldom. I want my mommy. They told me my mommy was dead and a picture of the alien I saw die comes to my mind. I see my real mommy. She kisses or is close to the man who did stuff to me. “She will be all right in a couple of days. We couldn’t fix the problem. You can bring her back for another treatment if you like, but it may not help.” I see my grandmother coming holding her purse. She acts like she owns the place. “We have to go now or we will miss the plane. Come along J---t, she will be fine. You can see her again next week.” They leave. My mommy brought me a pink poodle to stay with me. She called her Charlie. I see
myself curled up in a ball holding on to it. The nurse comes and takes it away from me and puts it on the shelf across the room. Inside I want to cry and cry and cry but I can’t. Something is stopping me from crying. Now I see a little boy walk in the room. He is holding a blue teddy bear. He places it on the shelf next to my poodle and then he leaves.
Somehow seeing this makes me start to spin inside and I close my eyes. I see my friend in white who tells me, ”Focus on the light of Heaven Wendella, and you shall see me.” I close my eyes again and try to focus. I see Heaven and he is sitting on a bench next to me and says,” We cannot stop them from experimenting on you, but we are with you. Your body is weak and tired from all the drugs. Know that you can stay with your family or return here now if you choose. You will have a wonderful life in your older years if you choose to stay. The angels and I will always be with you and guide you. You have been chosen to set others free. I will bless your body and mind to heal when it is time for you to testify of me. Beware, they will be watching you, yet they will not know it is you who they see. Come and join me on a journey to Heaven and see
what lies for you in your future if you return".
Down below I see blue lights flashing. Something is wrong with my body and what they did and they are trying to keep me alive. I see me in
“That is all I can show you, Wendella. Know in your heart it is true. Many will try to love you and fail for your pain is great. Satan has no keys over your life or the life of your family and friends. You will remember this at a time when it is very important for you to know this. Know I am always with you. Your eternal companion is one who has great compassion and understanding of evil. Many will try to claim you. You will not know who your eternal companion will be. He will decide that for himself. He was chosen from among many. He will do great things for you and me... He will not know his power until he tests his love for you. He will never harm you but your past will make you fear it. He will come in disguise Wendella, but that will be for your protection and
be a blessing unto to. Be not afraid, Wendella, for you are already sealed to him from before. No matter what happens on Earth he will be with you in the end and you will be free in his love to serve me and The Father throughout eternity. Don’t get caught up in the mysteries of things you don’t understand and the chaos that will engulf the earth at the end times. Always pray and hear my voice. The simple sweet voice of a child that loves you is how you will hear me. I must go now. Be free in your heart to love whom you will. Love is not evil Wendella. Know this is true. I love you.”
I see my body again and it is sad and looks dead. I close my astral eyes and with a whoosh and reenter it. I can hardly breathe. I call upon the ancients, the good ones to help me. I see many come and stand around me in a circle and administer to me. They are beautiful. I hear, “I think she will be all right now, Doctor, but we need to be sure to watch her. We cannot afford her death. Her grandmother would cause us much trouble.” And she leaves and closes the door. I see or imagine in my mind a fairy tale land of candy and lollipops with fairies dancing and singing. I imagine the little baby girl I know I will have someday. I will call her Rachel for courage. I love you Rachel. I hope to see you soon.
I see a light in the room; it is him again simply smiling at me. “Rest now, my little one. Time will prove all things and the things of your heart. Fear not. I am always with you.”
He is so beautiful. I just wish I could go be with him.