She had only been home a few hours but had accomplished all of her morning chores except for sweeping the floor. But she was sure the sweeping could wait until later. She kept herself busy enough not to worry about or think about the party. But when she ran out of things to do, her mind began to wander.
The phone rang, bringing her back to earth.
"Hello?"
"Stace, what's up? How'd the party go?"
"UGGH, don't remind me.'"
"What, did it go that bad?"
"No, not really."
"Wait, don't tell me anything. Are you gonna be home all day?"
"As far as I know."
"Ok, well I'm coming over."
Stacie sat in the living room watching music videos. She heard a car pull in the driveway and knew that Jessica was here. She knocked three times and came on in. Stacie didn't mind that, she always told her to come on in if the door was unlocked.
Jessica grabbed a drink from the fridge and joined Stacie on the couch in the living room. She was smiling from ear to ear. "Well, how was the party?"
"Well," she began. She turned to face her friend."I learned a lot of things about Jackie that I never knew."
"Like what?"
"Well, she has not had an easy time living here. People are so cruel to her because of her lifestyle, as Chip put it. He wanted her to move with them, but she stayed. She didn't want them to run her out of town."
Jessica's eyes widened."He told you all of this?"
"And a bunch of other things. I asked him why she wouldn't tell me about herself, he said that she was afraid that I would turn on her like everyone else. He tried to tell her that I wouldn't, but she doesn't believe him."
"So I'm guessing she doesn't know about you."
"Guess not. But I figured out what Chip was doing in the store. He was coming onto me, telling me what Jackie said because he wanted to know how I would react. He was asking these questions for her benefit. Apparently, she likes me, and is afraid if I find out about both things, she'll lose me."
Both of the girls sat silent. Jessica broke the silence."Does Chip know about you?"
"I'm begining to think so. It's like he has this gleam in his eye, like he knows. He knows something, I don't know what, but he knows something."
"Well, is that all that happened?"
Stacie sighed loudly." No."
"Well, what happened?"
"She kissed me." she said in a low voice.
"What?"
"She kissed me. I was in the room that she was letting me sleep in, and she kissed me. But it only lasted a few seconds. She pulled away and hurried off."
"Oh My GOD. I can't believe she actually did it. Was it good?"
Stacie blushed."Jess, these aren't the kind of things you ask after something like that." her friends eyes were pleading, and Stacie was beaming. "Yeah. It was."
Jessica stood up and began jumping up and down. She pulled Stacie up with her and they both began jumping up and down. After they calmed down, they sat and talked for a few hours.
They had run out of things to talk about when Stacie heard the knock on the door. She was puzzled, and quickly hurried to get it. She opened the door and saw Chip standing there. Jessica came behind her."Chip, what are you doing here?"
He saw Jessica standing behind her."I came to talk. But I can come back later."
Stacie turned to Jessica,"No, that's ok, she was just leaving."
"I was?" she asked. Stacie looked at her with her mean eyes."Oh yeah, I was. Stace, I'll see you later." she grabbed her coat and walked down the driveway to her car.
"Chip, please come in. Do you want anything to drink?" she asked as they sat down at the kitchen table.
"No, I'm fine."
The uncomfortable silence was driving Stacie mad. "Chip, why did you really come here?"
"To talk." he said slyly.
"About what?"
"About you and Jackie."
Her heart skipped a beat."What about us?"
He leaned forward on the table,"I know what happened between you two last night. And I just wanted to know that she has been wanting to do that for a long time."
"But why did you stop it so quickly?"
"Well, she talked to me this morning before you woke up and said that she was afraid that if you remembered it, you would be straight, which I know your not, and not want to hang out anymore."
"That's something that I want to talk to you about. How did you know about me? What gave me away?"
"I don't know. But I just knew. Like for instance when I came onto you in the store. You really didn't seem interested. But, when I made that comment about what Jackie told me. Your eyes got wide. She really said that by the way."
"So, you know I like her."
"Hell yes. I keep telling her that, but she won't listen to me."
"And you don't care that I like her? Not even a tiny bit?"
"Hell no. She needs somebody in her life right now. She calls me all the time, saying how she can't find a decient girl. She won't go to clubs, all the girls that hit on her are not her type. That last girl she had was such a bitch. I'm glad she's gone. You, I know. You are kind, excellent, charming. Everything that she needs right now."
"I fell flattered that you are telling me this."
"Hey, I love Jackie. She's my sister. And if I can do anything to help her find someone. I will. I've known you for years, you're like a younger sister to me. I will do anything to help the both of you out. You are going to have to do something to tip her off."
"I already know what I'm going to do. I'm going to do it tomorrow when I go to work"
"Good, I just hope it works." he pushed his chair away from the table."Are you ever going to come out?"
She stared at the table top. "I don't know. I really don't know."
"Maybe you should think about it sometime though. Ok? Just consider it. I think it would make Jackie happy if you did."
Stacie smiled shyly. "We'll see." >
"Ok," he said making his way to the door."I'm going back home. I guess I will see you later."
"Yeah."
"Bye."
"Bye."
Stacie had been in bed for a few hours now, but hadn't slept a wink. She tossed and turned. The conversation she had with Chip kept replaying in her head. She had wanted to come out for years. Everysince she was 15, she wanted to tell her family, the rest of her friends that didn't already know and others that she might meet. But her friends urged her to stay in the closet. They knew how cruel people around here were. They knew what they would say. So she listened to them and pushed the feelings deep inside her. She went to a few pride festivals, owned some jewelry, but she never wore it anymore. Not since she had become a respected person in the community.But that had to change.
She got out of bed, stumbling in the dark. She found the dresser and the jewlery box which held her jewlery. She tugged on the black chain, and untangled it from the rest. When it came free, she held it close to her body, admiring the rainbow beads, and the double woman penant between the beads. Maybe it wasn't that much, but to Stacie, it meant everything. It was the thin line between acceptance and love, or love and being an outcast. She placed it on her dresser, shut the box lid and stumbled back to her bed where she drifted of to sleep.