As the days passed, Sabrina let herself lean on Josh. It felt strange at first; she was never this vulnerable to him, even when they were dating. Now, everything about his presence felt natural and he never once mentioned David, his CD, or radio and TV appearances. She knew Josh checked in with David or Brian, but he never mentioned anything about it, even when she asked him.
CJ’s condition remained unchanged, but Sabrina didn’t feel as helpless anymore. Josh gave her strength, and she loved him for it. Sabrina decided one night to treat Josh to a night out. He’d been her rock for three weeks and she wanted to do something special for him.
She could hear the yelling before she reached his room. Josh was arguing with someone on the phone. Sabrina turned and went downstairs. It wasn’t any of her business and Josh would tell her when he was ready. Sabrina sat at the piano, and at the sound of his footsteps, started playing ‘Lida Rose’. Josh sat next to her and sang the barbershop quartet part and Sabrina came in at just the right time with Marian’s. Josh kissed her temple as they finished in perfect harmony. “I have to go.” “I know.” “I tried to get out of it.” Sabrina smiled. “I know. It was great to have you here this long, and I know you basically put your career on hold for me.” “Bri, I’d so anything for you, it wasn’t a sacrifice.” “It is to me. When do you leave?” “Tonight. I have to be in LA by tomorrow morning.” He put his hands on her shoulders. “I don’t want to leave you Bri. I’ll come back as soon as I can, I promise.” Sabrina touched his face. “Don’t feel bad about having to leave. You being here at all means so much to me.” Sabrina felt a stirring in her heart as she looked at Josh’s face. She hated that he was leaving, but somehow didn’t feel abandoned. Sabrina knew down to her bones that Josh didn’t want to leave her. The only other time she really felt that was when they first fell in love. But there was something else, another feeling she couldn’t quite define…something she hadn’t felt in a long time. Sabrina pushed it aside. She could analyze that later. “It’s really OK Josh.” He kissed her cheek. “Thank you.”
They left thirty minutes later. Sabrina’s heart sank as they got closer and closer to the airport. She already missed him terribly. When they reached the gate, they hugged and Sabrina couldn’t help it, the pain was too great. She started to cry. “Bri, please don’t. I can’t stand to see you cry.” “I’m sorry, I just…” Josh silently wiped her tears with his thumb. He really was powerless when he looked in her eyes. If she asked him to stay, he would. In that moment, he would’ve given it all up to be with her. ‘I see the doorway to a thousand churches. The resolution of all the fruitless searches…’
Sabrina shook her head to clear it. “I’m fine, really, Go.” Josh leaned down and meant to kiss her cheek, but moved and kissed her lips instead. It was just a peck, but he felt it all the way to his toes. “I’ll call you when I get in.” Sabrina thought she’d start crying again if she spoke, so she just nodded and watched Josh board the plane. The pain in her heart was almost physically painful as she drove home. A song by Aaliyah came on the radio. She noted that she and Aaliyah shared the same birthday. ‘It’s been too long and I’m lost without you. What am I gonna do? I’ve been needing you, wanting you. Wondering if you’re the same and who’s been with you? Is your heart still mine? I wanna cry sometimes. I miss you.’
The realization as too much for Sabrina to deal with. She went home and listened to Otis until she fell asleep, but the feeling was still there in the morning. She got up first thing and ran almost five miles, but still couldn’t shake it. This was the one thing she could never run away from. The ache in her heart didn’t just come from missing Josh, but from loving him.
The next morning, a bleary eyed Josh walked into David’s studio. David handed him a cup of coffee. “How’s Bri?” “OK, considering her best friend’s in a coma.” “Look Josh, I’m sorry. I waited as long as I could.” ‘I know. I’m sorry I got angry with you, but since Bri’s parents died, CJ’s the only family she has. I really believe she needed me.” “I don’t doubt that, but have you ever wondered if you need her just as much?” “All the time.”
