Some Jokes, Some Halo, and Some Strong Sad Puppet
Mood:  a-ok
Now Playing: nothing, I'm looking at some photos of my crush... ssh!
You might be a redneck if you've been too drunk to fish. Your mama's so fat her blood type is McDonalds. Your mama's so old she sat behind Moses in the 3rd grade. Your mama's so short she took a suicide jump off the curb. When waiting for your family to finish shopping in warehouses, darting around behind the shelves humming "James Bond" is a fun way to pass the time. Also, putting boxes of condoms in other people's carts and running away is fun too.

And here's a paragraph joke: A blonde began a job as an elementary school counselor and she was eager to help. One day during recess she noticed a girl standing by herself on one side of a playing field while the rest of the kids enjoyed a game of soccer at the other.
The blonde approached and asked if she was all right. The girl said she was. A little while later, however, Sandy noticed the girl was in the same spot, still by herself. Approaching again, Sandy offered, "Would you like me to be your friend?" The girl hesitated, then said, "Okay," looking at the woman suspiciously. Feeling she was making progress, the blonde then asked, "Why are you standing here all alone?" "Because," the little girl said with great exasperation, "I'm the goalie!"

Well, that's it for jokes. I have an inside joke for some friends at school: Jeremy.

OK, some Halo news: I've officially set up tryouts for my clan, [FR], on Halo Full Version almost every Saturday. It's a server called FRUCKA'S CLAN, and we play Slayer on Timberland and Blood Gulch. Most of the time, the rules are to kill me 10 times without Banshees. Sometimes, however, you all team up against me in Team Slayer and the total kills against me (30 kills) will get you ALL in.

My THIRD Strong Sad puppet is perfect and has not ripped. Learning my lesson the first two times, I put it in a frame and vow not to touch it.

Now... here's some photos of Kelly Brook, the hottest chick in the world!

Nothing else to talk about. Goodbye, guys.

Sorry, I'm a day late with the GoF report.
Mood:  not sure
Now Playing: Star Trek: First Contact
Hey guys. GoF filming went well. Emma only messes up once. Really cool scene, can't talk about it though. My dad almost broke the camera at one point, that was pretty funny.

In other news...

School sucks.

School sucks.

School sucks.

Oh yeah... I almost forgot, school sucks!

I've gotta go do a cartography project... map out London! See y'all later.

BACK FROM DRAGONCON!
It was great! I got to see some new comics from the Conan series, they showed the Star Wars fanfilm Pink Five in a theater, I got to preview the videogame Goldeneye: Rouge Agent, and I got to see a clip from the VERY hi-quality Star Wars: Empire Strikes Back DVD. Funny thing is, nothing but Conan had to do with dragons at all. Well, there was a Dragonriders novel, but I didn't go to check that. It was very enjoyable, AND on top of it all I got a DragonCon cap for free! YIPPETYSKIP!

In other news... well, there is none. I asked my crush out and she said no... shit... that's about it, man. Pretty darn boring day. Well, I got my Math homework done during recess... that's a first... goodbye, my mom's yelling at me to get to bed. I have only one more thing to say: GoF filming tomorrow! Get your first-person account here, at my blog!

I F*CKING DIDN'T KILL ANYTHING (and other short stories by Dr. Stewss)
Mood:  party time!
Now Playing: "On Fire" by Switchfoot... "Born to be Wild" by ACDC... "Eighties" by Killing Joke
Today, I shall write I F*CKING DIDN'T KILL ANYTHING, Battle Wound, and Yogi.

DUNDUNDUN!

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I F*CKING DIDN'T KILL ANYTHING!

I was in Math class, and Andrew the prankster devises a great prank... he's gonna write, in big bad letters, SH*TPILE, on the board... so Juhas walks out, he takes his chance, and scribbles away. It turns out looking like Zhotpoll. So Juhas comes back in, freaks after realizing that what he sees is a disfigured SH*TPILE, and says, "STEPHEN, THIS BETTER HAVE NOT BEEN YOU!". We all sit completely blown away at the knowledge of this Stephen kid that is not in the classroom. Then Juhas smirks and says, "oops, I meant Andrew." Throughtout the rest of the day, we call Andrew Stephen... oh yeah, and he didn't get in trouble. In PE class, he steps on an ant... and he yells out "I F*CKING DIDN'T KILL ANYTHING! WHY ARE YOU SO SUSPICIOUS OF ME?". We all go, "Stephen, what's wrong?" and he's like, "I DIDN'T KILL THE ANT! WHY'D YOU SAY I DID, BECAUSE I DIDN'T!". Following the joke, I go, "YEAH, WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU PEOPLE!!?!?!". Yeah, that was funny.

THE END

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Battle Wound

Yesterday, my friend Jack managed to peel off half his toe and he went to the emergency room. No joke. The kid's an idiot. On top of it all, he stepped on the bandaged toe purposely today, and it started gushing blood again! Amazing... I never thought someone could be stupider than a retard!

THE END

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Yogi

Ok, here's the scoop on PE: I signed up for Gym, and I get landed in (of all places) Yoga. No, you're not dyslexic, and if you are, then all I have to say is fedkbdlxgiad. Anyway... so did all of the Gym people, so it sucked dick. But I got to bruise my ass on a 10-pound dumbbell! And when we were "stretching" (more like breaking ourselves), I got to do it next to my crush. MY CRUSH! Life's good.

THE END

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In other news...

My second Strong Sad puppet got lost. Shoot.

I showcased my lightsaber at an art festival and get 10s from the judges.

Goblet of Fire filming goes as usual... I'm not there till it's over, I barely see Emma, and Rupert always leaves some marbles for me to trip on. Ok, that's not true, but the first two things were.

Bye guys. I'll post later.

Je me sens comme la merde.
I feel terrible. Tests. Quizzes.

"I didn't kill anything, I promise!" - Brody Lyles

"If these are your quizzies, I'd hate to see your testies. Wait, I didn't say that!" - Brody Lyles

"Barney shall die!" - Mr. Juhas

That's all. Just remember, ladies, to stay away from crazy Hogwarts students that ask to play with your cauldrons.

Not sick, great grades, and overall happiness today!
Mood:  happy
Hey guys. I am very happy today. I got an A on my Math quiz, I don't hate Mr. Juhas anymore, I'm not mad at my mom anymore, and I had a Mountain Dew for the first time in months. I discovered IMDB's Game message board and I'm having a load of fun on it. And oh yeah, I made up with my ex-girlfriend, and asked her out. And I'm not sick!

I bought a crudload of Blink182 albums and I'm jamming away. I'm getting better at the keyboards, and I'm doing GREAT on the Secret Agents 2 script.

Oregon Vortex is slacking. I can't figure out whether to kill someone off or not, and if I want to, I don't know how to yet.

My math quiz's bonus problem said "Barney took a ride on the space shuttle. While singing the "I Love You" song, he tripped on a banana peel and fell out the ship." Mwahaha, that man's funny.

A dude at my school named Wyatt claims to have the whole of a Japanese anime series following "Van Helsing". $20 says he's full of Bantha fodder (little Star Wars reference, sorry).

Byezers.

Posted by empire/kijzone at 1:08 AM BST
Updated: Wednesday, 1 September 2004 1:09 AM BST
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