Jordan~ Good Evening, and Welcome to EWF's FREAK SHOW HOLIDAY!

Pete~ LIVE FROM ATLANTA GEORGIA!

Jordan~ Wow, Pete, your really showing a lot of excitement for this. Is it genuine?

Pete~ HELL YEAH IT IS! We have got some AWESOME matches lined up for you here tonight! A Bad Blood Title Defense in the Hell in the Cell!

Jordan~ Don't forget about the crowning of new Champions, in the Tag Team Division!

Pete~ My main man, Petey, is defending his title too!

Jordan~ And then there is the most coveted title of them all! The World Title! A four man, elimination style match! Scorpion, Podmaster, Mark Daniels, and the World Champ, Hunter Lockhardt!

Pete~ That should prove to be a GREAT match up!

Jordan~ Yes it should! We are going to go backstage, to an interview with one of the EWF's newest stars, Christina Angel, who is standing by with EWF reporter, Jason Jankowski. To you Jason!

*The scene changes to show Jason Jankowski standing with Christina Angel in the backstage area.*

Jason: Thanks Jordan. I'm here with Christina Angel. Nice to meet you Ms. Angel!

Christina: Nice to meet you to Jason. It's definatly great to be here in the EWF.

Jason: The EWF is definatly glad to have you.

Christina: Well thanks. I can't wait to get into some of the action here in the EWF.

Jason: So then you are going to be participating in matches?

Christina: Of course. I love competition!

Jason: Well, the EWF doesn't really have many female wreslters, do you have any problems stepping into the ring against a man?

Christina~ No, I don't. I am here to wrestle, and if I have to wrestle a man to do so, then so be it.

Jason: Do you have any idea who your first opponent will be?

Christina~ Actually, no, I don't. I haven't been told as to when I will be competing in my first match, but I do know that I can't wait!

Jason: Alright, sounds good. Thanks for your time Ms. Angel!

Christina: Please, call me Christina, and thank you!

Jason: Back to you Jordan!

*The scene cuts back to the arena, focusing on the announcers table.*

Jordan~ Thanks Jason! We are going to go the ring with the first of our matches here tonight, the Detroit Streets Title Defense!

Pete~ Woo Hoo! Go Petey!!!

*'Control' by Puddle of Mudd strikes up, and Zaibatsu along with Jenni come out to a small ovation from the crowd. Zai gets into the ring, the music continues to play.*

Jordan~ Zaibatsu is doing pretty well as of late. He has a pretty tough challenge here tonight though, in Petey the Punisher, and Hank Irvin. Remember folks, anything can happen in these matches.

*I'm A Sexy Boy! cuts into Girls, Girls, Girls by Motley Crue. Hank Irvin and Willow Pheonix appear, walking to the ring, arm in arm.*

Jordan~ That woman right there, has actually caused a bit or turmoil already. Apparantly she is the former girlfriend of Hunter Lockhardt. Now she is here with Hank Irvin, I sense turmoil!

Pete~ She's hot!

*'Bad Boy For Life' by P.Diddy strikes up, and Petey the Punisher walks out to the ring, the Detroit Streets Title draped over his righth shoulder. None of Petey's goons are with him either.*

Jordan~ Petey is coming out here without any backup. He has a lot of confidence in himself, apparantly.

Pete~ Of course he has a lot of confidence in himself, he is the best the EWF has to offer!

Jordan~ If Petey is the best, what exactly is Hunter Lockhardt?

Pete~ Uhh, Hunter is the World Champion!

Jordan~ Yes he is, for now anyway. He has a tough match tonight. We'll have to wait and see if he can make it through tonight! This match is underway! All three men are going at it. Each man getting in several shots.

Pete~ Look at Petey, he is kicking some major ass! He's definatly my pick to win this match!

Jordan~ Irvin just knocked your buddy Petey over the top rope, and to the floor! Willow is putting the boots to Petey too! Check that out! She's man handling him!

*Willow pulls Petey to his feet, kicks him in the gut, and then delivers a European Uppercut sending the Champ reeling backwards. In the ring, Irvin Irish whips Zaibatsu into the ropes, and catches him in the stomach with a knee.*

Jordan~ Looks like Petey has got his hands full with Willow Pheonix.

Pete~ No, he's not. Petey is a gentleman. He wouldn't hit a woman.

*Petey takes a swing at Willow and connects! Irvin sees it, and climbs the ropes. Irvin flies off the top rope, and hits a splash on Petey, totally wiping him out. Zai slides under the bottom rope, and joins the fun, pulling Petey up by his hair. Irvin gets up, and checks on Willow, who is fine.*

Jordan~ A gentleman eh? Looks to me like he just hit a woman!

Pete~ She had it coming though. She was beating on him!

Jordan~ Oh well, he's paying for it now. Both Zaibatsu and Irvin are pounding the shit outta him!

Pete~ This isn't fair!

Jordan~ Anything is fair in this match! Petey is the man that created this belt, and the rules that go along with the defenses!

*Zai brings the ring bell over, and smashes Petey over the head with it. Petey begins to bleed, and Zai smashes Irvin with the bell. Willow hits a spinning wheel kick on Zai, and the ring bell flies through the air.*

Jordan~ Willow is definatly making her presence felt on her first EWF Television Appearance!

Pete~ The bitch! She's gonna cost Petey the match!

Jordan~ The only person that is going to cost Petey the match, is Petey himself! He is the one that made up the rules for the title defenses when he made up the title!

*Irvin pulls Petey to his feet, and hit’s a couple slaps, drawing ‘WOO’s’ from the crowd on each contact. Zai gets up, and hits Irvin from behind, sending him into the guard rail head first. Zai punches Petey in the face, kicks him in the gut, and hit’s the Z BOMB! Zai goes for the cover. 1..2..Irvin broke it up!*

Jordan~ Zai almost had the match won there! If it wasn’t for Hank Irvin, we would have a new Detroit Streets Champion!

Pete~ This is horrid! Petey is getting cheated out of the title!

*Irvin pulls Zai to a standing position and hits UNBELIEVABLE SEXY!*

Jordan~ UNBELIEVABLY SEXY!! ITS OVER! COVER! 1..2..PETEY BROKE IT UP! WILLOW’S INVOLVED! LOW BLOW! PETEY IS ON THE CONCRETE!!

*Irvin picks Zai up again, and hits Unbelievably Sexy again, this time dropping Zai right on top of Petey. Irvin covers both men, and the ref counts. 1..2..*

Jordan~ THREE!!! NEW CHAMPION!!! IRVIN WON!

Pete~ NOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

*Irvin receives the belt, and holds it above his head. Suddenly, a HUGE man steps over the railing, and clobbers Irvin with a double ax handle smash to the back. The man picks Irvin up, and begins to power bomb him, except, halfway through the power bomb, it turns into a choke slam! Irvin is laying on the cement, his body kinda twisted like, while security ushers this mammoth of a man to the backstage area, to be carted off to jail.*

Pete~ Wa…

*The scene cuts to backstage, where Jason Jankowski is standing with Kagato ‘The Oni’ Toriami.*

Jason~ Kagato, thanks for taking the time to talk to me.

Oni~ The time...? Time is subjective, my dear Jankowski. As subjective as mortality. Which brings the question, what is it you want of the Oni?

Jason~ Uhh, ok. I was just wondering what your thoughts were for what is sure to be a grueling match, between the Hooded Ronin, yourself, and the Bad Blood Champion, Mongo Briggs.

Oni~ *Chuckling softly* My thoughts? Thoughts are a waste of energy. They impede upon the ability of the mind and body to be one. I have no thoughts. I KNOW What the outcome shall be. I have waited for this confrontation for so long.... Can you possibly understand what it's like to see perfection?

Jason~ You seem pretty confident about this match. Do you have any secrets up your sleeve? I mean, Mongo isn't a pushover. The man is enormous!

Oni~ You didn't answer my question. *His voice was flat* Do you know what it's like? DO YOU?

Jason~ Well, no, I can't say that I do know what it is like.

Oni~ *Cutting off Jankowski with a jesture* It doesn't matter.... Nothign matters but this match. For Mongo Briggs IS perfection. My goal... My Purpose. To touch him.... Make him bleed across the floor.... Is that what it would be like to ascend into the heavens? Is this my zen coming full circle?

Jason~ Well, uhh, I...uhh, I have no idea what your talking about. What is a zen?

Oni~ *Glaring at Jankowski* DID I SAY YOU COULD SPEAK?! *The Oni looks off as if preoccupied* Mongo is my purpose, but the Ronin.... he is my shadow. I will break him..... One way or another. he will stand by my side or fall into the pits of the unamable one in my wake. It does not matter to me. All that matters is Briggs... Fighting him..... Vanquishing him..... Attaining perfection. I have no other goal.

Jason~ Wow. That is one hell of a wish list. Your going to have to go through Hell, literally, in order to achieve that goal. I wish you luck, as Mongo is a monster!

Oni~ Hell....? My dear Jankowski..... *He turns and smiles a chilling smile* I AM HELL!

*With that, Oni turns and walks away, leaving Jason Jankowski standing alone, looking like a dweeb.*

Jason~ Interesting words from our IC Champion! Back to you Jordan!

*The scene cuts back to the arena. The Hell In The Cell cage is being lowered around the ring. The crowd is cheering REALLY loud. The camera focuses in on the announcers.*

Jordan~ Alrighty, we are getting set to have our Bad Blood Title defense inside the confines of the CELL!

Pete~ I hope we get to see some good action! I WANNA SEE MORE BLOOD!!!

*'Where ever I may roam' by Metallica strikes up, and the Hooded Ronin makes his way to the ring.*

Jordan~ The Hooded Ronin, one of the three men in this match, has just as much hatred for the other two men, as they have for him, which should make this match a classic blood bath!

Pete~ WOO HOOO! I love blood baths, just as long as the blood isn't mine!!!

*'The One Who Is Torn Apart' by Yasunori Mitsuda begins to play, as Kagato Toriami appears, with the IC Title belt draped over his right shoulder.*

Jordan~ Perfection. That is what that man is seeking. In order to find it, he has to beat Mongo Briggs here tonight.

*'Down With The Sickness' by Disturbed strikes up, and Mongo Briggs, along with the Doc walk out to the ring, the Bad Blood Title draped over one of Mongo's enormous shoulders.*

Pete~ This guy is freaky! Everytime I see him, he scares the hell outta me!

Jordan~ Don't piss your pants Pete. He isn't gonna beat the shit outta you, not yet anyway. He has a title to defend first.

Pete~ Whew!!

*The Cell locks down, and the bell rings. Mongo hits a double clothesline, wiping out both Oni and Ronin.*

Jordan~ Mongo is off to a quick start here, taking out both of those men in one quick movement. Mongo has Ronin by the throat...

Pete~ My God! That couldn't have felt nice!

Jordan~ No, I would imagine not. The chain link cell isn't very forgiving! It'll rip you to shreds in a moments notice! At the rate Ronin is going, he is going to be bleeding really quick!

Pete~ BLOOD!!! WOO HOO!!!

Jordan~ There isn't any blood yet, bonehead!

*Ronin is laying on the mat in a heap, while Oni hits Mongo from behind. Mongo turns around and grabs Oni by the throat also, but before Mongo can toss Oni into the Cell, Oni kicks Mongo in the 'nads.*

Pete~ OH THE PAIN!

Jordan~ Well, that is definatly one way to get out of a hold! Oni just kicked Mongo in the side of the head, and the man monster is down on the mat. Ronin is almost to his feet now, Spinning Heel Kick by Oni on Ronin. Ronin is down again!

Pete~ Ronin just got layed out! He isn't having very good luck here tonight, and the match just started! HEY IS THAT BLOOD I SEE ON RONIN's HEAD??

Jordan~ Nope, must be the light! There is no blood yet!

Pete~ I wish they would hurry up and cut somebody open! I love seeing these guys bleed!

Jordan~ Aren't we just the sadistic one today?

Pete~ Yeah, so?

Jordan~ Mongo is up, and moving fast, he's got Oni by the hair...*The crowd erupts*...DAMN TO ALL THAT IS HOLY! THAT HAD TO HURT! Mongo just threw Oni across the ring, by his hair, and into the side of the cell!

Pete~ I can't believe that just happened.

*Mongo walks over to Oni, and pulls him up by the hair, delievers a few punches, then a throat chop. Oni hits the mat, Mongo reaches down, and pulls Oni to his feet again, then grinds his face into the cell!

Pete~ WOO HOO! Grind the meat off of his face!!! I wanna see blood!!!!

Jordan~ You just got your wish. Oni has been opened up!

Pete~ YES!! It's about damn time! I've been waiting to see some more blood for like, 5 mintues!

*Oni sees the blood dripping from his forehead, touches it, and sees the blood on his fingers. He stands up, blood dripping from the tip of his nose to the mat. Mongo is practicaly ripping Ronin apart, body peice by body peice. Oni comes up from behind, and delievers a drop kick to the back of Mongo, sending his head into the cage. Mongo bounces off of the cage, turns around, and reaches out for Oni, but Oni was is too fast, and delievers a punch to the throat of Mongo.*

Pete~ That looked like it hurt. But look, Mongo has hardly moved! Oni looks like he is pretty pissed about being opened up!

Jordan~ I'd say so! Some pretty vicious kicks are flying through the air right now, but Mongo is batting them away. Oni landed that one, and it took Mongo down to a knee. Those kicks to the hamstring are really painful! Oni with a kick to the back of Mongo's head, and another to his chest. Again to the back of the head, Mongo just dropped face first to the mat.

Pete~ I've never seen Mongo in this position!

Jordan~ Nor have I. This is definatly a great match!

*Ronin comes up from behind Oni, and plants Oni's face into the mat, with a bulldog.

Jordan~ Nice bulldog by Ronin there. He just put a stop to whatever kind of momentum Oni had.

*Ronin covers Oni, the ref counts, 1..MONGO INTERFERANCE!!!*

Jordan~ Ronin should have known that Mongo was going to recover from those kicks pretty quick. Looks like he's paying for it now. Mongo doesn't appear to be very happy bout those kicks he recieved!

Pete~ Yeah, but Ronin didn't do it!

Jordan~ It doesn't look to me like Mongo really gives a damn. He just wants to rip somebody apart!

Pete~ That's gotta suck for the other two guys. I'm glad I'm not dumb enough to get into the ring with him, let alone a CELL!

Jordan~ If you know enough to stay away, whats that say about Ronin and Oni?

Pete~ Uhh..they are dumb?

Jordan~ I was thinking something along the lines of they had big balls!

Pete~ Oh, well why didn't ya tell me? I woulda said that then!

Jordan~ Pete, sometimes I wonder about you. I don't think your alright in the head man!

Pete~ A lot of people say that.

*Jordan shakes his head*

Pete~ Wait a minute...

Jordan~ MONGO JUST POWERBOMBED RONIN!!! HE'S FOLDED UP ON THE MAT!! Why isn't Mongo going for the win? He could have the match won right now! Oh. He's going after Oni.

Pete~ Poor Oni, things are looking bad, and the forecast for his future looks even worse!

Jordan~ Pete? You alright? You takin drugs or anything?

Pete~ No, why do you ask?

Jordan~ No reason. Mongo has Oni by the hair. He's swinging Oni around by the hair! Can you imagine the pain? SHIT! INTO THE CELL AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! AGAIN! GOOD GOD! MONGO IS GOING INSANE!!!

Pete~ Told ya so!

Jordan~ Shut up Pete! The blood is gushing out of both Ronin and Oni's head! Mongo appears to be alright, although he is limping a little bit. One of those kicks from Oni must have caught him in a tender spot. Look at the mat! It's crimson now! We still have two more matches here tonight!

Pete~ Gotta love it!!!!

Jordan~ This is the sort of action you will find ONLY in the EWF!

Pete~ Amen brother!

Jordan~ Pete, are you SURE you aren't taking drugs?

Pete~ Yeah, it's against the company rules, remember?

Jordan~ Yeah, I know. Nevermind! Mongo pulling Oni up again, he grabs him by the throat, and throws him into the cell. Look at the cell bend! God, if I didn't know any better, I would say it broke right there.

Pete~ That would be cool!

Jordan~ Good God, Mongo just did it again! Ronin is stirring, Mongo sees him, ugh! Mongo just jumped on Ronin's chest! He looks like a flat pancake now!

Pete~ Sucks to be him, eh?

Jordan~ Yeah, it does. He's got Oni again! Oni trying to fight back, but there isn't much he can do against this 'Masked Monster'! Those chops are having no affect on Mongo, Mongo picking Oni up above his head. Jesus, Oni is almost touching the top of the cell! GOOD GOD! Mongo just threw him into the cell, and the wall broke! ONI FLEW TO RINGSIDE, LANDING HARD IN A HEAP ON THE FLOOR! HE'S DEAD! HE HAS TO BE DEAD! NO MORTAL COULD SURVIVE THAT!*

*The crowd erupts, the noise is defening. Mongo glares down at Oni, who is laying in a bloody heap on the floor. The camera focus' in on Mongo's eyes, which appear to be on a deep red color. The camera pans back out, Mongo drops his weight onto Ronin again, and covers him.*

Jordan~ The pin! 1..2..3! Mongo retains his belt! What an awesome match! We need to get EMT's out here right away!

Jordan: My oh my, what a match!

Pete: You're telling me Jordy! That Mongo is something else... *Shakes his head*

Jordan: *Glaring at Pete* Don't ever call me that again. *Looks back at the camera* Coming up, the deciding match for who will be our new EWF Tag-Champions! Who will win? Who will have the grapefruits to rise above the other three teams and earn the belts?!

Pete: Who the hell cares?! Let's see some blood! WOOOOOOOOO!

*The arena darkens and "Greed" by Godsmack kicks up to a surprising pop from the crowd. Demon walks out with Sandra and raises his arms in the air. BOOM! Pyrotechnics go off in a blaze and he makes his way to the ring. The crowd cheers, and then goes silent as Demon glares at them as he walks down the ramp.*

Jordan: Through HELLFIRE AND.... Um.... It's DEMON!

Pete: Don't forget Sandra! WOOOOO! Look at those puppies wag!

Jordan: You are a man in need of help Pete.

*As Demon enters the ring, the lights kick back on and "Smooth Criminal" by Alien Ant Farm kicks up to a slight pop from the crowd. Chris Douglas comes out onto the ramp and makes his way to the ring, raising his hands in the air.*

Jordan: And here comes his tag-partner Chris Douglas!

Pete: Eh, who cares? Put that camera back on Sandra!

Jordan: This is the first time Douglas and Demon have tagged together, hopefully there won't be any problems with them working as a team.

*Pete snickers*

*The theme from "Sword of Berserk" kicks in and Cyperian Cross and Sephiroth make their way to the ring to boos from the crowd. Cyperian is purposefully hiding the scars on his face, and Seph is glaring at the crowd.*

Jordan: And our next team, Cyperian Cross and Sephiroth!

Pete: WOOOO! Go Cross and Seph!

Jordan: These two should be on the same page. They both want that Tag-team gold.

Pete: You know who my money’s on!

*Cross and Seph enter the ring and glare at Demon and Douglas, before taking their corner. Suddenly "Hell Bound" by Pantara kicks in to a HUGE pop from the crowd and Scorpion and Tiffany come out onto the ramp. Scorp raises his arms and then gestures to Tiffany, before making his way down the ramp.*

Jordan: Prepare to be stung! It's SCORPION!

Pete: Annnnnnnnnnnd more puppies!

*Scorp stops about fifteen feet from the ring and simply stands there as his music dies down.*

Pete: What in the hell is he doing?

Jordan: Looks like he's waiting for his tag-partner. A smart move on Scorpion's part.

Pete: Nah, he's just scared of Sephiroth! And who wouldn't be? Look at the guy!

Jordan: I did Pete, I di~

*Jordan is cut off as pyros explode around the ramp and… "It's time to play the game.... IT'S TIME TO PLAY THE GAAAAAAAAAAAMEEEEE!" Mark Daniels comes out with Lady Luck to "The Game" by Motorhead. The crowds ROARS as he comes down the ramp and pyros go off everywhere. The Confederate flag appears on the titantron superimposed with a picture of the Confederate Bad Ass himself.*

Jordan: Holy HELL!

Pete: Whoa! That's quite and entrance...

Jordan: Here comes the Confederate BADASS, MARK DANIELS!

Pete: Don't forget Lady Luck! Three ladies at ringside! WOOOOOOOOO!

*Mark gets down and talks to Scorpion. They nod heads and high-five, then make their way into the ring. Lady Luck and Tiffany move to Scorp and Daniels designated corner.*

Jordan: It looks like Scorpion and Daniels are on the same page for tag-team gold! Even with their match for the World Title just moments away, they're working as a team. Makes me proud to be part of the EWF.

Pete: *Watching his monitors intently* Yea, uh huh, sure Jordy.

Jordan: *Smacking Pete upside the head* Stop looking at the women and pay attention!

Pete: OW! You bitch....why I otta…

BZZzzzzzzzzBZZZZZZZZbbbZBBBBBZZZZZZZZZZWWWWWAAAAAAAAAA!

*Guitars hit up and the Confederate Flag goes up on the titantron again as "Headed for Destruction" by Jackyl blares into the arena at ear-bleeding decibels. Out come the Ragin' Hellbilly's, Leonard and Jasper, with Uncle Cooter in tow. Uncle Cooter is waving a large walking in stick in the air, and Leonard and Jasper are yelling into the air. The crowd POPS as they make their way down the ring.*

Jordan: That, my poor under-sexed friend, is the Ragin' Hellbilly's and Uncle Cooter! One of the newest additions to our EWF roster!

Pete: Dear God.... There's like... eight teeth between all three of them. What's this federation coming too?

Jordan: *Ignoring Pete* Now remember folks, this is a four corner tag-team match. Anyone can tag ANYONE as the match progresses and there will always be only two men in the ring at a time.

Pete: Or so the ref hopes.

*Referee Tim Black stands in the middle of the ring and makes sure no one gets the head start on anyone. After all four teams have designated their corners, he points at Douglas and Scorpion. The two men enter the ring.*

Jordan: It looks like Scorpion and Chris Douglas are going to start our match off.

Pete: Yippee. Wake me when the REAL action starts.

Jordan: Pete, you never cease to….. HOLY SHIT! Scorpion is tearing into Douglas! Right! Left! Right! This match is under way!

*Scorpion hits Douglas with everything he's got then send him into the ropes. CLOTHESLINE! Douglas spin in the air and lands with a sickening thud in the middle of the ring.*

Jordan: OUCH!

Pete: If Scorpion keeps this up, Douglas is going to have as many teeth as one of those hell bellies.

Jordan: That's… never mind. OOH! Scorpion has tagged Daniels in and he's not waiting to get started on Douglas! A solid right hand and a boot to the abdomen and Douglas is down!

*Daniels grabs Douglas's leg and pulls him away from his corner. The he puts him in a standing Ankle Lock. Douglas screams out in pain.*

Pete: What crawled up Mark's ass??? He's just getting brutal!

Jordan: It seems like he and Scorpion really want that tag-team gold.

*Douglas kicks Daniels in the face, and crawls over to a random corner. Before Daniels can do anything, Sephiroth has been tagged in.*

Pete: Hey! That's not fair, Douglas and Sephiroth aren't even on the same team!

Jordan: All's fair in a four way. And Sephiroth with a large right hand! Daniels is down!

Pete: BEAT HIM DOWN SEPH!

*Sephiroth is stomping on Daniels. Scorp starts to climb the top rope and DIVING CLOTHESLINE!*

Jordan: Good GOD!

Pete: Hey! Ref's get him outta there!

*Tim Black gets Scorpion back to his corner as Sephiroth gets to his feet and tags in Cross. Both of them start beating on Daniels while Scorp is trying to get passed the Ref.*

Pete: GET 'IM! GET 'IM! DADDY NEEDS A NEW PAIR OF SHOES! WOOOOOOO!

Jordan: Cross and Sephiroth beating on Daniels… WAIT! He's fighting back with everything he has! A European Uppercut to Cross and he's down on his back! Daniels leaps, TAG TO DEMON!

Pete: Oh shit.

*Demon barrels in and double clotheslines both Cross and Sephiroth. He kicks Sephiroth out of the ring, and then looks down and laughs at Cross.*

Jordan: I have a very bad feeling about this…

Pete: Run Cross, RUN!

Jordan: Demon's lifting up Cross… POWER BOMB! My god that's…. WAIT! He's picking him up again! WHAT IN THE HELL IS WRONG WITH HIM?!?!

Pete: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!

*Demon Powerbombs Cross again, laughing like a maniac. He tosses Cross aside and walks over to Douglas and tags him in.*

Jordan: Good tag-action here…. The only team that hasn't been involved is the Hellbilly's…

Pete: Look at those goofs! They're just bouncing around like they want to be in the ring…

Jordan: Well they… hey, what's Jenni doing here?!

Pete: MORE PUPPIES! WOOO!

*Douglas stops before getting to Cross and looks over at Jenni, waving. She smiles from Ringside and waves back.*

Jordan: Correct me if I'm mistaken, but isn't Jenni Zaibatsu's girlfriend?

Pete: Not anymore! Chris has got the hook up yo!

Jordan: Douglas better pay attention to Cross and not Jenni before… OUCH!

*Cross crawls up behind Douglas and gives him a heavy low blow.*

Pete: BING!

*Douglas staggers to the side and falls into the Hellbilly's corner. Jasper reaches down and enthusiastically tags Douglas on the back then leaps into the ring.*

Jordan: Diving Lariat! Cross is down again!

Pete: This just isn't his day!

*Jasper grabs Cross's head and starts heating it into the mat.*

Jasper: SSSSSSUUUUUUUUUUUUUEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!

*The ref breaks Jasper off of Cross. Jasper runs into the ropes, but gets blind sided by Sephiroth.*

Jordan: Sephiroth from nowhere! Cross grabs Jasper, Belly to Belly Suplex!

Pete: GOOOOO CROSS!

Jordan: Cross runs to his corner, Sephiroth is in!

Pete: Get that Redneck!

*Sephiroth lumbers over and kicks Jasper squarely in the stomach as he tries to get up. Jasper falls flat back onto the ground and winces, clutching his ribs.*

Jordan: Oh my!

Pete: No one messes with Cross and Seph.

*Sephiroth reaches down to grab Jasper, but he rolls out of the way and tags in Leonard. Leonard gets into Sephiroth's face and they start POUNDING on each other.*

Jordan: Look at those two men go! Left! Right! The Ref's trying to get them to use open fists, but it isn't working!

Pete: For some one who's dumb as a brick, that Leo can certainly give a punch.

Jordan: That he can! Leonard is backpedaling… it's looking like Sephiroth is getting the advantage.. WAIT! Leonard moves aside and… SEPHIROTH JUST DECKED REFEREE TIM BLACK!

Pete: OW!

*The referee falls flat on his back and Sephiroth looks down, dumbfounded. Leonard turns and tags in Mark Daniels who charges Sephiroth from behind and gives him a hard punch to the back of the head. Seph falls out of the ring, and Douglas leaps at Daniels.*

Jordan: SUICIDE DIVE FROM DOUGLAS!

Pete: Where in the hell did he come from?!

*Outside the ring, Jenni cheers for Douglas. Meanwhile, a groggy Sephiroth gets to his feed beside a very angry looking Uncle Cooter.*

Jordan: Uh oh…

Pete: Hey, he can't do anything! That's a DQ!

Jordan: And the ref's down!

*Uncle Cooter bashes his walking stick into Sephiroth's knee, and he goes down with a cry. Cross runs over to Seph's defense and gets a stick to the gut for his troubles.*

Uncle Cooter: Geet off MY LAND! *WHACK!*

*Cooter strikes Cross solidly in the head and he crumples like a rag doll.*

Pete: DQ! DQ! REF GET UP AND DQ THOSE BASTARDS!

*Meanwhile, Douglas has Daniels in a armbar, only to have Scorp come flying off the top rope and clothesline him. He gets up and starts picking up Douglas*

Jordan: Back to the match! Scorp just saved Daniels…. STING RAY! STING RAY! STING RAY TO CHRIS DOUGLAS!

*Demon runs in the ring and Daniels gives him a boot to the gut.*

Jordan: Daniels has Demon distracted… REBEL YELL!

Pete: NO! NO! NO! This can't be happening!

Jordan: It is! Daniels going for the cover….. But there's no REF! DAMNIT! THEY HAVE THIS MATCH WON!

Pete: *Raises his hands in the air* WOOOOOO! No Ref, no win!

Jordan: The actions getting so intense, I have no idea who the legal man is anymore!

Pete: Does it really matter?! ANARCHY!

*Most of the wrestlers are in the ring now and all hell is breaking loose. Jasper leaps from the top turnbuckle and tackles Scorp and Douglas, while Leonard charges in and gives Daniels a clothesline. Sephiroth is starting to get up on the outside, only to get laid flat by another hit from Uncle Cooter.*

Pete: Somebody take that stick away from him!

Jordan: Who cares about Uncle Cooter, we have a hell of a match on our hands here!

*Scorpion gets up and suplexes Jasper, while Douglas lays twitching on the mat. Leonard and Daniels are going toe to toe in the middle of the ring, exchanging blows. Demon starts to get up as Daniels grabs Leonard and…*

Jordan: REBEL YELL! Leonard's DOWN!

Pete: AND STILL NO REF! WHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!

*Demon grabs Daniels from behind and tosses him out of the ring. Scorp looks up from where he was beating on Jasper and charges on Demon.*

Jordan: DOUBLE AXEHANDLE! Demon is reeling....

*Scorpion grabs Demon and.. STING RAY! Demon's down again! Scorpion turns to go back to his assault on Jasper, only to be greeted by a moonsault from the second rope! Jasper gets up quickly and starts shaking Leonard to get him up.*

Pete: What in the hell?! What has Cooter been feeding those boys?

Jordan: You just can't keep a redneck down Pete!

Pete: Cross is getting into the ring! HA! See?! I told you he was the man! Takes a lickin', keeps on tickin'!

Jordan: We have a war on our hands, and no one can stop it because Referee Tim Black is still down!

Pete: Wait! He's getiing up!

*Tim Black is slowly getting to his feet and using the ropes as support. Meanwhile, Cross charges Scorpion and HURRICANRANA! Outside, Daniels has gotten up and gotten into a brawl with Sephiroth. Leonard gets to his feet and Jasper is running towards the ropes…*

Jordan: What is he doing?!

Pete: That little insane fu~

Jordan: SUICIDE CORKSCREW! JASPER JUST TOOK OUT BOTH DANIELS AND SEPHIROTH! MY GOD!

Pete: HOLY SHIT!

*Back in the ring, Leonard grabs the fallen Scorpion and raises one hand in the air.*

Jordan: Good lord, he's signaling for the...

Pete: PIGSTICKER! Ouch!, Somebody give Scorp a neck brace!

Jordan: You sick bastard, your enjoying this aren't you?

Pete: Hells yes!

*Tossing Scorp aside, Leonard reaches over and picks up Cross. Grunting, he chucks Cross out onto Sephiroth, and they lay in a heap of bodies outside.*

Jordan: MY GOD IN HEAVEN! In all my years of wrestling, I've NEVER seen a match like this!

Pete: YEAH! Ain't it COOL?!

*Jasper struggles to get back in the ring, but close behind him is the Confederate Badass, Mark Daniels. Tim Black has finally gotten the cobwebs out of his head and is instructing Leonard to get out of the ring. Clearing the ring of all the wrestlers except for Jasper and Daniels, the match continues in an orderly fashion again.*

Jordan: It looks like we've got order back into the match and Jasper and Daniels are locking up in the middle of the ring.

Pete: *Fakes a snore* Boring.....

*Daniels throws Jasper into the ropes and follows up with a solid knee to the abdomen. Jasper falls in a heap on the ground, only to be picked up by Daniels.*

Jordan: Looks like Daniels is going for a suplex... WAIT! Jasper flipped out of it! BULLDOG! What a reversal!

Pete: Somebody wake Seph and Cross before these bozo's win the match!

*Outside the ring, Scorpion starts to get up only to be attacked by a very pissed off Demon. He throws Scorp into the railing by the crowd.*

Jordan: Looks like Demon's stopped caring about the gold, and just wants to hurt Scorpion.

Pete: Can you really blame him Jordy?

Jordan: I SAID STOP CALLING ME THAT!

*Pete snickers again*

*Jasper runs over to Leonard and jumps on the turnbuckle, before tagging Leonard in. Then he stands on Leonard's shoulders and Leonard makes his way towards the middle of the ring.*

Jordan: Oh no.........MOONSHINE!

*Jasper moonsaults off of Leonard's shoulders and lands HARD on Daniels. He then quickly rolls out of the way as Leonard picks Daniels up.*

Jordan: Not just a moonshine... A PIGSTICKER MOONSHINE! DANIELS IS OUT! DANIELS IS OUT! Leonard making the cover...

*Scorp kicks Demon in the gut and makes a break for the ring.*

Tim Black: 1!

*Chris Douglas lays on the outside of the ring, being cared for by Jenni.*

Tim Black: 2!

*Cross starts heading for the ring, only to get whacked upside the head by Uncle Cooter again, and Sephiroth doesn't even get to his feet before another healthy dose of Uncle Cooter's walking stick. *WHACK! WHACK!*

Uncle Cooter: Stay down ye idgets!

*As Scorp climbs the ropes, Jasper does a suicide dive and takes Scorp with him back to the outside.*

Jordan: 3!!!!!! WE HAVE YOUR NEW EWF TAG CHAMPS, THE RAGIN' HELLBILLY'S!

Pete: NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!!!!!!!

Winners and New Tag-Champs: Ragin' Hillbilly’s

*Uncle Cooter climbs into the ring, and pulls Jasper with him. Jasper and Leonard hug each other as "Headed for Destruction" by Jackyl kicks up again, and the monitors all have Confederate flags on them. Uncle Cooter grins and tosses his stick in the air, while the brothers wave their hats in the air. The crowd is ROARING as they leave the ring with their new belts.*

Jordan: A historic moment for the EWF! The crowning of new tag champs!

Pete: Oh what a sad, sad day...

Jordan: Coming up, OUR MAIN EVENT! Are you ready?

Pete: Do I have a choice?

Jordan: ARE YOU READY ATLANTA GEORGIA?!

Pete: Will you stop yelling?!

Jordan: HEEEEERRRRRRRREEEEEEEEEEEE WE GO!

*The lights in the arena go out. White pyro flares as 'Citizen Erased' by Muse strikes up. Podmaster walks out from behind the curtain, and makes his way to the ring.*

Jordan~ The Podmaster is very new here, but he has shown some talent to somebody with power, and is in the Main Event. We'll have to see how he holds up against the three top names in the EWF today in Scorpion, Mark Daniels, and the World Champion, Mark Daniels!

Pete~ Scorpion sucks, so does Daniels. Hunter is the man, and Hunter has shown on more than one occasion that he has no problem kicking Pod's ass! My prediction, Hunter walks out the victor!

Jordan~ That's a good guess, but I think any one of these men would be a good guess.

*'The Game' by Motorhead hits, and Mark Daniels, sans Lady Luck, walks to the ring to an enourmous ovation from the crowd!*

Jordan~ The Bad Ass is getting another great ovation here tonight, especially after his showing only a few moments ago in the tag team match, where he and his partner, Scorpion, came up just short of the gold.

Pete~ Yeah, thats because they suck!

Jordan~ I dare ya to go say that to their faces!

Pete~ Na, that's ok, they have a match to worry about!

*'Hell Bound' by Pantera beings to play, and Scorpion, sans Tiff, makes his way to the ring.*

Pete~ Hey wait a minute. Both Mark Daniels and Scorpion usually have women come out to the ring with them. Where are they?

Jordan~ Well, apparantly, they aren't coming out.

Pete~ Well now, this really sucks shit! I can't believe nice guys like Scorpion and Mark Daniels would deprive guys like me out of the opportunity to ogle women like theirs!

Jordan~ Who knows, maybe its guys like YOU that made them keep the women in their locker rooms!

Pete~ Those bastards!!

*One's Self, is this on? BOOM! cuts into the 'Fight Song' by Marilyn Manson. Hunter Lockhardt appears from behind the curtain, the EWF World Title being worn around his waist. Hunter makes his way to the ring, and hands the belt to the ref.*

Jordan~ This match is about to start. Remember everybody, this is an elimination type of match. If you get pinned, your out!

Pete~ I hope Scorpion gets pinned early!

Jordan~ We'll see what happens!

Pete~ Yep, we will!

*All four men are in the ring, and the bell sounds. Scorpion, Mark Daniels, and Hunter Lockhardt all attack Podmaster. Podmaster backs into a corner, and starts swinging!*

Jordan~ It looks like those guys decided to pick on the new guy. Podmaster is backed into the corner. Oh cheap shot by Lockhardt on Scorpion! Daniels and Pod are battling it out, Pod has the advantage, right, right, right, left, right, boot to the gut, snap suplex! Pod with the pin, 1..2..kickout!

*Podmaster kicks Daniels in the ribs, then drags the laces of his boot across Daniels' face. In the meantime, Scorpion and Hunter Lockhardt are battling, both men exchanging left and right hands. Scorpion gains an advantage, knocking Hunter down with a clothesline. Pod turns Scorpion around and hits him with a clothesline, then puts the boots to both Hunter and Scorpion, cussing and talking trash the entire time.*

Jordan~ Podmaster showing everybody that he isn't somebody to be taken lightly. Daniels from behind, hitting an inverted DDT on Podmaster, taking him out. Cover. 1..2..kickout!

Pete~ I don't think these guys like each other much! They are hell bent on hurting each other! I LOVE THIS BUSINESS!!!

Jordan~ You are one sick sadistic bastard, you know that?

Pete~ Yeah, I know! *smiles slyly*

*Daniels pulls Hunter Lockhardt to his feet, and goes to punch him, Hunter blocks the punch, and hits a punch of his own. Lockhardt sends Daniels into the ropes, and misses a clothesline, then hits a knee to the gut. Daniels drops. Hunter pulls him up, only to be hit with a jaw breaker. Hunter reels backwards, but recovers quickly, and is back on the attack within seconds.*

Jordan~ The World Champ and Mark Daniels are going at it right now. Podmaster is resting in a corner, as is Scorpion.

Pete~ Look at Scorpion, he's such a wimp! He's hiding in the corner!

Jordan~ Look at Podmaster! That bastard is doing the same thing!

Pete~ So, who gives a damn about Podmaster. When he steps into a cage with the 'Masked Monster' Mongo Briggs, and walks out alive, then I'll respect the man!

Jordan~ Geez, it's pretty tough to earn your respect, isn't it Pete!

Pete~ I guess so!

Jordan~ Scorpion jumped in on the fun, hitting Lockhardt in the back with a double ax handle! Podmaster joined in quickly too, taking out Scorpion. BAD DREAMS ON DANIELS, OUTTA NOWHERE! Pin, 1..2...3! DANIELS IS OUT OF THE PICTURE!

*Daniels rolls out of the ring, a look of disappointment on his face. Hunter is looking at Daniels, waving goodbye, when Scorpion rolls him up. 1..2..Podmaster broke it up!*

Pete~ Why would Podmaster do that? With Hunter gone his chances of winning are so much better!

Jordan~ Cuz when there are three men, one guy has the chance to rest. Pod wants to be that man.

Pete~ Oh, I see. So this Pod guy actually has a brain? Who woulda thunk it?

Jordan~ Pete, oi..nevermind!

*Podmaster sends Scorpion into the ropes. Scorpion ducks a clothesline attempt, then both men hit a clothesline!*

Pete~ That looked like fun!

Jordan~ I bet, if you asked really nice, the Prez would give you a match, and you could try it yourself!

Pete~ Although tempting, I'll have to say no to that.

*Hunter stands up, and climbs to the second turnbuckle, waiting for somebody to get up. Scorpion gets up first, and Hunter comes off the ropes, and hits Scorpion right in the head with his fist. Scorpion goes down to the mat, Hunter pins him. 1..2..Pod breaks it up!*