TOP Secrets

Banks:  They are in the business of screwing you out of your money.

ATMs:  They charge you $3.00 just so you can take some money out of your account.

Microsoft: They secretly own Linux, just to take some of the pressure off of them as being a monopoly.

Auto Insurance: Don't ever file a claim, even if it isn't your fault.  They use a formula to charge you extra.  I have it on good authority from a friend that it could be as much as $3000 extra over a 3 year period that they raise your rates.

Mad Cow disease:  Clearly a hoax made up by the pork farmers.

Grocery Store Bonus Discount Cards: They jack up the prices by 30%, then allow you to "save" 25% off of these inflated prices when you use your card, and you think you save money.  In reality, you just paid 5% more than before they had the program, and now big brother knows your shopping habbits and dietary consumption.  They are secretly sharing this information with your insurance company, and building a large database about you, and will prove that you got cancer because you didn't eat any veggies for 5 years straight.