The Evolution of the Uber Joke

1: Components: Orlando Bloom, Marc's Cat

What's the best way to torture Marc's cat? Tie him down and force him to watch "Orlando Bloom's 'How to Act.'"

2: Components: Orlando Bloom, Marc's Cat, My speeding past a cop car, FTK, Farm Show Triumvirate

A guy is speeding down the highway and passes a policeman. The policeman pulls him over and strides up to the car. A sheep is tied up in the passanger seat, while a cat is stretched out on the back seat. Both animals are clearly dead.

The cop asks the driver, "Sir, are these animals yours?"

The driver responds, "The cat belongs to my friend Marc, sir. I was taking it to my niece and nephew. Ya know, it's for the kids!"

"And the sheep?"

"Well...you see, the sheep is my sister sir. I use her for...companionship."

The cop stares at the man in disgust. "What is your deal, you sick bastard?"

"Well, you see officer, if you looked like Orlando Bloom, you'd take what you could get too!"