Life sucks. What is the point of living if we are just going to die and throw it all away anyway? I don’t understand why people are thankful for life. It is painful. Other than being high, it is impossible to be happy all the time, yet people strive for it. They fall each time and then when they have one moment of happiness they are thankful for it all. Try to get them to say that when they are on the ground.
I’m tired of being around people who are happy. Every second these people talk about God and it makes me sick. Where is the fun in giving control to someone else?
If I am so dead set on this, then why do I feel so guilty? I hated the life I had, but I hate this too. Suicide. The only logical thing. One problem. No guts. Every time I think about it, I always picture my family, extremely distraught. Alcohol. My second solution. One problem, my dad’s not drinking right now. Great. My two fall backs aren’t working and now I have to deal with my awful ability to think. FUCK!!!
I hate this life yet I have nothing to do about it. I wish I could tell the world that I am no longer a Christian. My… I wonder how that would go over with my parents. What the hell am I supposed to do at college? That is going to be an extremely fun experience for me.
