Below are several pictures of Miss Hilton. I just couldn't stop myself from adding my own captions underneath each photo. Before anyone gets their panties in a bunch (like Hilton's lawyers or whatever), this is a satire site. There are only certain comments that I seriously mean. Can I help it if you don't know which comments? With that said, I hope you enjoy!

Once again, Miss Hilton shows you that you can make an outfit from any clothing scraps you have lying around. It doesn't mean it will look good, but it will be enough to keep you out of jail for indecent exposure.

You know there's only one reason why someone her age wears pigtails. I guess it is only helpful that the guy has something to hold onto...kind of like the straps put on a horse for when you ride it...

This only goes to show you that no one loves Paris Hilton more than Paris Hilton.

"I know I lost my dignity in these bushes somewhere..."

Paris feels totally comfortable with gymnastic equipment. Because, let's face it, Paris' body is like a high school gymnasium...everyone's used it at least once and eventually graduated on to better things.

Yeah, right, like Paris would ever voluntarily wash anything!

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