You Never Know,
know you don't!
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Shrimp Tail God
Like most of the truly great classics, it started innocently enough at an
All-YOU-Can-Eat Buffet. First, you eat. Then, you eat some more. Next,
boredom sets in as you've finished, but your companions continue to eat another
three to eleven platefuls. This is followed by a greater ennui, until...
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It seems obvious at first. A big tub of dairy-based creamers, perfect for
building pyramids or towers. The trouble started when a more acrobatic
approach was taken.
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Suddenly, the creamers' need to show off emerges, and things go from merely
impressive and acrobatic to not only downright tricky but...merely impressive.
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However, like any large structure, forming where once nothing stood
majestically, a crowd is bound to be attracted. Experts believe that this is
caused by the hope that free T-shirts will also spontaneously form from the
ether that brought a given large majestic structure to a spot where once
nothing stood majestically.
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And so, rumor makes its way to the ears and minds of those not already
assembled in congregation. And they 'decide' to join. And the congregation grows
in size. And any subject that refuses to throw in with the lot becomes the subject
of Jihad. And it loses it's bus priviledges.
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So in the end, regardless of your intention, this is what you've got: A very complete and complex religion, all based around the worship of a cream-supported shrimp by butter.
Well, I hope you're proud of yourself pal, 'cause believe me buddy, men have killed to appease the whims of less than a shrimp tail before, and I have no doubt in my mind that butter is already up to the task. You don't have to believe me, but just consider: When was the last time you got just a SIDE of eggs?
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Arben Anison
© 2001 NotArt.
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