PAIN

I've been spending my time AROUND pain lately. First, I've been subjecting myself to pain. Last Thursday entailed the removal of tons of nevi/moles to my back and chest followed by 2 fillings and a wisdom tooth extraction the following Friday. Two weeks prior I had a crown placed and another 2 fillings. I can honestly say I handled myself well in all instances as the perpetrators of my pain all said I was a "good patient."

The interesting thing about causing pain or observing pain whether physical or emotional is that we all handle it better when the person receiving the pain "handles it" well too. We like people who handle pain well b/c it makes us feel better or maybe relieved.

When a woman screams louder than any other in the obstetrics ward, everyone is slightly bothered. We can't concentrate. Same goes for anyone in the ER. Everyone is basically in pain there and the squeekiest wheel doesn't always get the best care or attention.

How do we handle emotional pain of others? When my father was diagnosed with prostate cancer last year, I didn't cry b/c my father never acted like it phased him. He put his faith in God for healing and is doing fine now. I asked my mother how he "really was" and she said he was fine. I think I would have been more distraught had I known he had not been doing well "emotionally."

I've had to inflict pain lately too. Several patients of mine have a new diagnosis of cancer that I found serendipitously. Relaying the message is always difficult but I always offer a prayer and most people don't refuse it.

While I haven't had that much physical pain to endure, I've had some emotional pain. I had a needlestick 6 weeks ago while doing a procedure on a past IV drug abuser. I couldn't get labs on her that day to check if she has HIV/AIDS b/c there was no lab personnel at the clinic. She said she'd come back. After weekly calls and her cell phone disconnection, she has yet to come back. Which, well, leaves me in emotional pain about my future. I had a few tears here and there, alone. I thought not being there for my son and husband, not having anymore children b/c of the risk. I believe I have nothing BY THE GRACE OF GOD and evidence based med says the % chance is low that I could. BUT STILL. AFter a month, I finally sobbed (yes that's the word) with my husband-- at night-- in bed-- so he couldn't see me. It was a good cry and in faith and confidence, I haven't cried since.

Pain can be lonely because your pain is yours and yours alone. No human can feel it for you, but Jesus can. He is there when you are going through it and knows about every event that led up to it. He endured the emotional pain of loneliness and rejection as well as the physical pain of the Cross. He can relate. He is the great Comforter who relieves the burden of our pain, rejection, & loneliness.