Why don't ya kiss me blarney stone as I pick yer pocket and rape your wee little ones with me shillelagh. Every March 17th, St. Patrick ties the turnicate around our necks for yet another year. This one day is marked by leprechauns, shamrocks, blarney stones, green beer, green vomit, and green money. The leprechaun man fists each and every fool who partakes in this bogus holiday to boost the economy in Ireland. Who is St. Patrick anyways? Well, he is the demoniac himself, of course. Just like the Pope, this "Saint" shared the similar beliefs and values of his holy counterpart which is greed, lust, and power. The Pope, who has many cash crop holidays under his belt, wanted a piece of the pie from St. Patrick's day. If it wasn't for St. Patrick's sainthood, the Pope would not have been able to get his iron fist in on yet another holiday. This time, the money would be funneled into Ireland after it has made it's stop at the Vatican. Usually the money only has a one way ticket to the Vatican, but since the Pope wants the Catholics to destroy the Protestants of Ireland, he figured it is a just cause to spare a penny or two.

With a mass marketing scheme of green dye, leprechauns, and beer, the Pope rapes the World once again. Green food coloring is added to the beers to make everyone think they are "irish" and because of this they keep drinking and drinking while putting more money into the Pope's bank account. Meanwhile, as you're drowning in your green vomit and the vomit of others, the leprechaun man (not to be confused with the leper man) robs you blind leaving behind chocolate "gold" coins and his vile feces. Blarney stones offer false hope just like Christianity and other religions, while shamrocks are more rampid than herpes in a college dorm. Parades of green and gold fill every city street and burn every eye as the main attraction of the parade should just ejaculate on all the pee-ons standing out there instead of throwing them candy. I heard of selling your soul to Satan, but never selling your soul to St. Patrick.

If there is any consolation to this day of madness it is that St. Patrick wasted his life since there are no such things as saints. To think, for one day we are all Irish? Why the hell would we want to be Irish? What does wearing green and sporting shamrocks do? It's the equivalent of wearing red, white, and blue and sporting a flag I guess. It does nothing. People will buy into anything and the Pope and the Catholic church will continue to take your money, time, and dignity. At this point in time I always like to ask myself What Would Jesus Do? But he's dead, so he does nothing and that is what I will do as usual on these money-days (holidays) and Sabbath Days.

By:
Joseph Plumbrook