Before I was even born, my life had already taken a step in the wrong direct. While I was in the womb, my father abandoned my mother, my sister, and me. He left us because of his crack addiction and gambling problem. His enormous debts left all of our possessions to be repossessed and that is when I came into this wretched existence. Life was hard, but our tight trio got through it without the help of my father or anyone at that matter. I don’t know what happened in between my schooling years, but the more I was involved in society and life, the more I despised it. I had been dealt a bad hand, but who hasn’t, right? This was ultimately difficult for me to deal with at such a young age. I was never teased or harassed by my peers yet they seemingly had something I didn’t and I cried each day because I felt I had nowhere to turn to.

During my eighth grade years my sister had contracted HIV from having many sexual partners. She was 7 years older than myself and had gone the opposite way. She had turned into my father. She did heavy illicit drugs, smoked 4 packs a day, drank and partied every night, stole from my mother and even me, and as I mentioned before she fell victim to HIV from either sharing needles or one of her many sexual partners. I was horrified at this and the more I saw her fall prey to these vices, the more my life changed in a positive direction because I didn’t want to be like my dad and I associated these selfish behaviors with this whole situation.

A month later, I lost my sister and this hit very hard. I loved her even though she had gone astray. I was mad at her also for doing this to herself because she was gone, and she left my mother and me with all the pain and agony. I sunk even deeper into myself at that point. I had consolation from all my peers even, but their hugs and smiles couldn’t heal this heart. I became engulfed in books of all sorts just to alleviate my mind from this mental anguish. As I numbed my soul, I also learned a great deal and became more aware of my surroundings.

I liked how Ralph Waldo Emerson made me think about things. This whole concept of thinking is what made me who I am today. During my high school years I noticed my mother was becoming very ill. Not physically, but mentally. She was obsessive and pessimistic about life and she told me about it each day. I went to my grandmother, her mother, for some advice and all the old coot could say is “I can’t help you because there’s not much left when you get up in the years like me. All I do now is wait to die, what else can I do?” and I stood and gazed at her in amazement and began to cry. I asked myself what was in store for me in the future.

Everything was starting to look bleak. I had to get out of Montana soon, and a month later I received my acceptance to the University of Nebraska, which would be my escape. I was excited about this, but my mother was not though. When I told her I was leaving she began to cry, I believe they were tears of joy. I believe she was proud of me, but these past few years in her deteriorated state I did not receive much consolation. The day before I was to leave for the airport, I stopped by the cemetery to where my sister was buried and I sat crouched over the earth and cried. I loved my sister a lot and I missed her. We had been so close together and then broken apart one day and now the rest is history. Afterwards, I went back home to get my bags and I noticed my mother was asleep in the chair. She seemed so peaceful so I didn’t want to disturb her. I grabbed my bags and went to kiss her on the forehead and that is when I noticed she wasn’t breathing and was cold. My mother had suffered a massive heart attack and died. I was alone in this huge world.

The ones who care for me most had betrayed me, and I was by myself. I now appreciate the love my neighbors had given me and they even drove me to the airport and took care of me, but I was too numb to realize this. I have written to them a few weeks ago to let them know that I appreciate them for all that they have done.
When I arrived in Nebraska, I was amazed. Look at all the cornfields! Well, I wasn’t really amazed but it was a change. I had taken a cab to the university and found my dormitory where I’d be staying for my college career. I had chosen a career in Earth Sciences being fascinated by the growing environmental concerns. I had a desire to make a change. I situated myself in my dreary room, and was reading the “Communist Manifesto” when I heard a thud at the door. I jumped from the loud noise, and then went over to open the door. Standing at the door, with 3 huge bags was this disoriented creature named Nathan. I opened the door and went back to my reading. I didn’t want anything to do with him. He probably came from a wealthy family, and was a snob or something to that nature.

I just didn’t want to give him a chance or let anyone in at that matter. We just spoke superficially and that was about the extent. I noticed he was just as introverted as I was. He didn’t go out and party at all, never did he have any of his friends over there, and he wrote and read a lot. After living together for about 1 month, he came up to me as I was finishing the “Communist Manifesto” and this icebreaker developed into a revolutionary friendship. He is my comrade, my best friend, my brother, and we shared one common thing: a desire to change the world…