undefined

Now Then, Now Then, Who wants to be Jimmy Saville?

How to become Jimmy Saville.
We all love this king of cool, so LET'S ALL BE HIM!!!

1:Either grow your hair long and in the style of the mullet and then dye it white, NOTE! Not grey, IT HAS TO BE WHITE, THE PUREST,MILKIEST WHITE. (This is only if you want to do a professional job.)
or
Just buy a whiter than white wig in the mullet style.

2:Buy some funky threads. Tracksuit/Shellsuit combinations with luminous colours are a MUST!

3:Buy or make a comically large cigar in which, alot of your charisma and style lies.

4:Learn the language! here are some samples...
Now then, Now then.
Jingle, Jangle.
Jewelry, jewelry, jewelry
Who's a pretty lady?
Also there are random grunts that go along the lines of
UH-UH-UH-UH-UH-UH

5:Make sentances using the words above. NOTE! YOU MUST JIGGLEE YOUR CIGAR BETWEEN TWO FINGERS WHILE DOING THIS. You don't always have to make sense with your sentances.

6:Buy or Make a RED and only Red "magic chair," in which you can stash many a "Jimmy Fixed It For Me" in anticipation of the many children you get to please each day, soon you'll be the envy of Michael Jackson. Only he is a peadophile and you will be looking like the coolest guy on Earth!

You are now then now then now then THE man.
You are now then now then now then JIMMY SAVILLE. WOW!
GO OUT AND MAKE PEOPLE HAPPY!

When you become jimmy, you can pick up many foxy laydees like this fine example here.


Wow! FUNKY THREADS!!!


MEDAL OF GREATNESS!!!

Homepage
Ash's Jimmy Saville Essay