Split Personalities
Push Gold Stone
Attention Doctor Jackass
::Ice Cube puts his finger to the gold stone. After moments of mental preperation, he presses it! FLASH! Blazing blue lights surround the enviroment. There is a puff of smoke, and The Jackasses blink and start to yell for help! Suddenly, as soon as it began, it's over!::
Chris Hardy: Uhhh.... what... what the hell just happened?!
Ice Cube: I dunno man, but I feel... weird!
Chris Hardy: I seriously have a bad feeling about this....
Ice Cube: Shouldn't have eaten that big slab of swiss cheese this morning!
::Hardy gives him a puzzled look.::
Chris Hardy: What?
Ice Cube: You said you had a weird feeling, and I said you shouldn't have eaten that swiss cheese!
Chris Hardy: That's not what I meant. I meant that there is something very bad that we just did.
Ice Cube: Come on, this thing can't do much except sparkle. Look, I pressed the button and nothing happened. We're still in.....
::Haha... it just dawned on them...::
Ice Cube: AAAAAAHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chris Hardy: Dude, you're wearing a blue suit. Where did you get that, JC Penny? I must tell you... it's just not you man!
Ice Cube: You're wearing one too! And you have a name tag with your picture on it pinned to your pocket!
Chris Hardy: I do?
::Hardy checks it out.::
Chris Hardy: Whoa, check it out man, that's me right there!! But someone messed up when they made this, it isn't right.
Ice Cube: Why is that?
Chris Hardy: Well it says "MD" on it. I didn't even go to college, and I sure as hell didn't go for seven years to become a doctor!
::The Jackasses take a peak at their surroundings, and boy are they surprised. They are no longer outdoors in the depths of the forest, but inside a room lit by florescent lighting and white walls around. The particular room they are in has a fridge and a table, which they are sitting at.::
Ice Cube: Well, looks like you were right... I think we are in a hospital.
Chris Hardy: No, that can't be. I must be hillusinating... let's see what did I take this morning?
Ice Cube: No man I dead serious. Somehow we've...... become doctors!
Chris Hardy: Well, it's better than being a dentist I guess.
Ice Cube: Quick! What's the proper dosage of morphine in millileters to a gun-wound victim that is 243 lbs. and under 27 years of age!?
Chris Hardy: Easy, 20 millileters!
::Hardy takes a minute to think about that one....::
Chris Hardy: How did I know that?
Ice Cube: I'm wondering how I knew that too.
Chris Hardy: All right, this is not happening man! It's just a dream... yeah, that's it! I ate something this morning that didn't agree with me, and I am currently passed out on the couch, making up this whole story in my mind as I sleep!
Ice Cube: I wish it were that easy, but I'm afraid this is for real pal!
Chris Hardy: Man, we can't be doctors! What if we screw something up during a major open heart surgery!?? I mean we aren't called "The Jackasses" for nothing!
::They strike a pose!::
Ice Cube: Well, my guess is, it was this.
::Cube reaches back and pulls out the saphire relic. He takes a look at it and puts it back.::
Ice Cube: I bet it was the saphire that transported us... kinda like what happened with the time machine! Remember that huge fiasco?
Chris Hardy: Yeah, but that made me mad because I lost my favorite hat in the Caveman Era.
Ice Cube: Well it looks like we have the same problem this time. Only I don't get it...
::Cube looks around for a calender. He finds one by the door, it reads July 7th, 2002.::
Ice Cube: Time hasn't changed, just who we are has....
Chris Hardy: Look, just push another one of them stone thinga-ma-jiggers before someone finds out we aren't really who they think we are... even though we might actually be who they thought we are.
Ice Cube: Right........ I think. But yeah I agree fully, let's get out of here before....
::Just then, a voice comes over the hospital intercom system.::
Intercom: Would Doctor Cube and Doctor Hardy please report to room 223. Thank you.
::The Jackasses stare at each other.::
Chris Hardy: Ah crap, I new it would be to late!
Ice Cube: So what do we do?
Chris Hardy: Well, let's go check it out at least. But if it gets hairy in there, we push a stone on the saphire and we're out of there like a bad habit.
Ice Cube: All right, I can deal with that much I guess.
::Cube and Hardy leave the room, which was accuatly the hospital's staff's private lounge. They turn a couple of corners... and after checking the map, they find the room they were requested to visit. They enter and see a huge operation in progress.::
Chris Hardy: Crap this isn't good....
Ice Cube: Come on man, play it cool and we'll be all right.
::They put on their protective masks and hairnets... haha, hairnets.... and join the other doctors at the operating table.::
Ice Cube: Ok, what is the problem?
Chris Hardy: Yeah, what can we do?
Doc#1: Well it seems that we can't find the tear of this muscle here, and we figured you guys could help us out since you know a lot about this part of the field.
Ice Cube: Which ligaments are we dealing with?
Doc#2: Upper thigh section of the quads.
Chris Hardy: Wow, this has to be a chick! What legs!
Ice Cube: Hardy, calm down. We are proffessionals here!
Chris Hardy: Speak for yourself!
::Cube quickly, and surprisingly to him, identifies the problem and tells the surgeons how to correct it. Within several minutes, the surgery is over and The Jackasses leave the room.::
Chris Hardy: Ok I am tired of playing doctor, can we go now?!
Ice Cube: I want to find out if the surgery was a success!
::Just then, a nurse comes through the doors with the patient in the a wheel chair.::
Ice Cube: OH MY GOD!!!!
Chris Hardy: IT'S CINDY CRAWFORD!!! I TOUCHED CINDY CRAWFORDS BARE THIGH!!! AND IN THE UPPER REGIN TOO!!
::She smiles at The Jackasses as she is wheeled away to recovery. They just stand there and stare and drool like complete morons!.::
Ice Cube: Ok, I think we can go now!
Push Silver Stone