Split Personalities
Push Gold Stone
The Rave Party
::Cube, very cautiously, press the silver stone on the saphire relic. ZAM! With in an instance, a cloud of smoke rises from the ashes in the earth and surrounds them. The sky turns to a black cloth, and the moon becomes as blood. The Jackasses scream for help, but there is no one around to hear them. After a long five seconds, which seemed like 5 years, it's over.::
Chris Hardy: I need a new line of work!
Ice Cube: Well, I'm still in one piece. You all right?
Chris Hardy: No, I think my are is coming out of my face!
Ice Cube: WHAT!?!?!
Chris Hardy: False alarm, it's just my big nose!
::Cube releases a sigh of relief.::
Ice Cube: Oh thank god, for a minute there I thought...... hey where are we?!
::They quickly scan about them. Somehow they are now inside a house, and there is a party going on. But it isn't a typical, everyday get together. People are hanging over couches, dancing on top of sleeping people that have fallen unconsiounces on the floor, and others you are just acting like they O.D.ed on speed.::
Chris Hardy: Well, we aren't in Kansas any more Toto.
Ice Cube: We weren't in Kansas to begin with!
Chris Hardy: Hush! Hush! I needed an excuse to use that line!
Ice Cube: So, what exactly is this? Is this a party until you pass out party type thing? Look at that guy, he's sleeping ontop of the TV set!
Chris Hardy: Somebody had to many beers!
Ice Cube: Holey cow dude! You have mohawk!
Chris Hardy: Seriously?!
::Hardy grabs a pocket mirror from a passed out girl next to them on the couch.::
Chris Hardy: AAAHHHH!!!!!! AND IT'S BRIGHT ORANGE TOO! DAMNIT MY PARENTS ARE GONNA KILL ME!!!
Ice Cube: Wait a minute.... give me that mirror....
::Much to Cube's surprise.... and horror... Cube has a crew cut!::
Ice Cube: Ah great, now I look like a fricken Canadian!
Chris Hardy: Well, this is really weird and everything... but I guess I can handle this....
::A guy drops dead right in front of them, passing out!::
Chris Hardy: Ok now I am freaked out!
Ice Cube: It was the saphire relic! Somehow we spliced times and now we are at a out of control party!
Chris Hardy: Oh no, not another time traveling adventure!
Ice Cube: I'm not sure about that Hardy, let me check something.
::Cube rolls up his sleeve to check his Memorex gold watch with additional military time settings. And you idiots thought he was poor!::
Ice Cube: Just as I thought. We are still in the current time. We haven't gone anywhere in time, we've just switched locations.
Chris Hardy: Damnit, I knew this was going to be a bad day.
Ice Cube: So, first order of business is to find out where exactly we are!
::The Jackasses get up and head for the kitchen. The party is even jamming in there, as loud music and couples making out on the counters is what they first see. Garbage and debree litter the floor as no one seems to care about the mess that is being made.::
Ice Cube: Hey man, where are we?
Kid#1: Why.... we are in.... the library!
::The kid passes out cold!::
Chris Hardy: Go go, buffalo!
Ice Cube: Excuse me, do you know where we are?
Kid#2: Are you fricken kidding me? You're at the biggest rave party of the summer! Hosted by Derek! Now shutup and get stoned!
Ice Cube: Get stoned?
Kid#2: Yeah, what did you think a rave party was for? Knitting socks?
Chris Hardy: We're kinda new to this whole "get drunk as hell" thing.
Kid#2: Oh well if you need something to get started, take these and call me in the morning! Haha!
::He hands them a couple of viles of pills. Boy, this is Eminem's dream world right here!::
Ice Cube: Can we see Derek? Do you know where he is?
Kid#2: He's out on the porch, kickin it.
Chris Hardy: Thank you very much.
::The Jackasses make their way to the front porch, where the party is still happening. They find Derek amongst a pile of passed out teenagers. They engage in an eventful conversation with him, but since this RP is being read by minors, we will skip that part. A few hours later, Cube and Hardy are hanging out by the pool, where surprising, no one is partying. Sure there is a few passed out people laying around, but the majority of everyone left has returned inside.::
Chris Hardy: Dude man, I'm so waisted!
Ice Cube: Oh you are are you? Wow man that must be freaky.
Chris Hardy: Yeah this is been a great party man! This is the best acid I've ever done man!
Ice Cube: Wow pal, you must be really messed up!
Chris Hardy: Heck ya, this acid has me totally waisted!
Ice Cube: Are you seeing things?
Chris Hardy: Yeah man, it's like that cloud up there has a vaine in it!
Ice Cube: Holey cow a vaine!
Chris Hardy: And it's bleeding on me man!
Ice Cube: Whoa well watch out!
Chris Hardy: And look at my hand, it's like moving, but it's not really moving man! It's like moving real fast!
Ice Cube: To you man it is, but I got something to tell you.
Chris Hardy: I'm flipping out on this acid man! I'm seeing stuff!
Ice Cube: Well yeah man that's what happens when you take acid, but you know what? That really wasn't acid, that was just a little piece of paper I ripped off my notebook....
::.................................::
Chris Hardy: Well...... it must be this weed I'm smoking man man! This weed is messing me up!
Ice Cube: Oh yeah weed will mess you up!
Chris Hardy: Yeah everything is funny to me man! Hahahahahaha!
Ice Cube: Hahahahahaha! Hey look at that guys hat!
Chris Hardy: Hahahahaha it's hilarious! Everything is funny man!
Ice Cube: How many have you smoked? Few joints?
Chris Hardy: Like four, I'm so waisted off of it!
Ice Cube: Wow thats a lot of bones to be smoking!
Chris Hardy: I sucked them down myself! It was great stuff! Hahahaha!
Ice Cube: Hey I got some news on that stuff too, was that the stuff I sold ya?
Chris Hardy: Yeah it's got me totally waisted!
Ice Cube: Well that's funny, cause you see that really wasn't weed. No, no it wasn't it was pencil shavings in a bag.
::...............................................::
Chris Hardy: Well, it must be this beer, I must be drunk as hell off it man!
Ice Cube: Whoa! How many?
Chris Hardy: I had like... eighteen of 'em man! I gotta pee pretty soon!
Ice Cube: You didn't dump them out in the woods did you?
Chris Hardy: No I drank every last drop, and now I'm seeing things! There's two of you man!
Ice Cube: You sure did drink a lot, did you eat today?
Chris Hardy: No it was on an empty stomache man!
Ice Cube: Wow that's an extra buzz for you.
Chris Hardy: Yeah, you better take my car keys cause I'm stoned man!
Ice Cube: Well.... uh, I'd hate to break it to you, but that was non-alcoholic beer. So you can't be drunk, and I'm sorry but I have to bust you on this one, you're lieing.
::.....................................::
Chris Hardy: I'll be right back......
Ice Cube: Ok buddy, you go sober up!
::A few seconds after Hardy walks away...... BANG!::
Ice Cube: Oh my god he killed himself!
::Cube runs up to his fallen companian.::
Ice Cube: Oh my god you killed yourself man!
Chris Hardy: Yeah I'm dead man, I'm dead cause I killed myself man!
Ice Cube: Wow you sure showed us!
Chris Hardy: Yeah man there's a big white light, and it's really bright!
Ice Cube: Seeing anything weird?
Chris Hardy: I can see my relatives! Haha, hey Uncle Joe says hi man!
Ice Cube: Awesome, but look I got some news for you man...
Chris Hardy: I'm so dead man!
Ice Cube: Yeah you're dead, but listen, this sooo funny pal. That gun you killed yourself with, that's the one I gave you?
Chris Hardy: .... yeah?
Ice Cube: Well that was a cap gun, so there is no way you could've killed yourself with that.
::...............................::
Chris Hardy: Argh! That's it! I'm trying to fit in, and I'm trying to get along, but you just keep messing me up!
Ice Cube: It would've ruined your wrestling career and I thought.....
Chris Hardy: I don't care, let's just go! Push one of them damn buttons on the relic already!
Push Silver Stone