Split Personalities
Push Gold Stone
Lions 'n Tigers 'n Bears!
::Ice Cube puts his finger to the gold stone. After moments of mental preperation, he presses it! FLASH! Blazing blue lights surround the enviroment. There is a puff of smoke, and The Jackasses blink and start to yell for help! Suddenly, as soon as it began, it's over!::
Chris Hardy: I don't know about you, but that is really beginning to annoy me!
Ice Cube: Get used to it. We may have to press these stones several more time before we actually get home, and we become..... us again!
Chris Hardy: All right well I'm not opening my eyes. You can figure out what we are this time!
::Ice Cube takes a look around. He notices several things. A caged fence.... high brick walls....... the chamber is a false enviroment, probably used to hold animals...... The Jackasses are holding shovels.... people are holding balloons and looking at them....::
Chris Hardy: Well? Are we porn stars yet?!
Ice Cube: Dude! We work at the Zoo!
::Hardy opens his eyes...::
Chris Hardy: AAHHH!!!! WHY AM I DRESSED LIKE THE CROCODILE HUNTER!!???!!
Ice Cube: Because..... well........ ok I'm not sure yet, but it looks like we are Zoo employees!
Chris Hardy: Crickey!
Ice Cube: And by the looks of these shovels, and I think we are suppose to be cleaning up the mess in this cage.
Chris Hardy: Ah no... we mean we are pooper scoopers?
Ice Cube: With that foul stench in this place, I'd say yes.
Chris Hardy: What kind of animal was in here anyway?
Ice Cube: I'm not sure....
::Outside of the cage...::
Kid: Mommy looky! It's a big gorilla!
Mother: Honey, that's just a man cleaning up the gorilla's poo! That's a good reminder to stay in school so you don't end up with a job like his!
Ice Cube: Well, it's obvious that there was a gorilla in here!
Chris Hardy: You're telling me! Damn he left one big pile of [*BLEEP*]!
::Censors!::
Ice Cube: Hey! We have name tags!
Chris Hardy: Ah!!! YES! Dreams do come true!
Ice Cube: Well, I doubt we are getting paid a lot do scoop poop, so what do you say we dicth this disastor and go find some trouble!
Chris Hardy: All right, I'm for that! And if something goes wrong, we can always just push one of them little stones on that weird saphire relic thingy!
::The Jackasses drop what they are doing and exit the holding chamber. Being employees has it's advantages, as they are able to walk around the back areas of buildings without the fear of being arrested or something.::
Ice Cube: Well, I need to grab some lunch. All this swapping around with other people's jobs is making me hungry!
Chris Hardy: Hey, check that out! They have a Pizza Hutt in the middle of a Zoo! Who ever heard of Pizza in a Zoo?! Haha!
::Hardy looks over to see Cube eating pizza!::
Chris Hardy: Well, I give up! I'll take a slice to.
::The Jackasses enjoy there lunch and pretty soon it's time to get back to work.::
Ice Cube: So....... what do we do?
Chris Hardy: If you ask me, this is the weakest part of your RP!
Ice Cube: Hey! Would you give me a break! This crap isn't easy you know!
Chris Hardy: All right man calm down! It's just my personal opinion based on absolutely nothing, no need to start a fight!
Ice Cube: Yea, you're right. But, what do we do? We have to do something to make a point of even staying here for a while.
Chris Hardy: I get ya, but I am afraid that I even dont......
::Hardy is cut off in mid sentence by screams that are arising from the distance!::
Ice Cube: Zoo customers screaming! Could be trouble!
Chris Hardy: Or it could be that guy from *NSYNC!
Ice Cube: As Zoo employees, I'm thinking it's our duty to go help out!
Chris Hardy: I agree!
::......................................::
Ice Cube: .............................
Chris Hardy: ..........................
::The Jackasses stand around..... and do nothing!::
Ice Cube: Damnit, the trolly is late!
Chris Hardy: How do people expect to see the whole zoo while riding them things while they are always behind schedule! Geeaze.
Ice Cube: Well looks like we are going to have to run to the scene of the problem!
Chris Hardy: Ah man, and I was hoping to avoid any physical exercise to today!
::The Jackasses sprint towards the screaming. People are flushing out of harms way, and Cube and Hardy are trying to get get through, but everyone is going the other way! Finally, they push through the scared mob and identify the problem!::
Ice Cube: Oh no dude! It's what I've always feared!
Chris Hardy: What do we do! I'm not trained for things like this!
::A customer runs up to them!::
Guy: Oh good, you work here! Hurry up and do something! That ostrich is on the loose and I can't die young! AAHHH!!!
::He runs away!::
Ice Cube: Looks like it's time for us to be heros.... once again!
Chris Hardy: I'm noticing a trend here.....
Ice Cube: All right, I'm going to distract it and try and lure it back into it's pen. When it's in there, you close the gate and lock it!
Chris Hardy: You're using yourself as live bait? Since when did you become so brave???
Ice Cube: It's my zoo duty!
Chris Hardy: But it's an ostrich, and it's mentally disturbed!
::A voice comes over the PA system in the zoo.::
Voice: Attention all zoo-goers!! A large ostrich that is mentally disturbed and imbalanced has escaped and gone on a dangerous rampage! Please scream and run around in circles!!
Chris Hardy: See! This isn't a good idea!
Ice Cube: Yes it is... it's the only...... excuse me sir! Could you please stop running around in circles around me and do that somewhere else!
Chris Hardy: All right I'll go along with this, but under one condition!
Ice Cube: Being?
Chris Hardy: If you die, can I have your stuff?!?
Ice Cube: Oh let's go!
::They set the plan into action. Hardy positions himself ontop of the fence so he can swing the gate into place. Cube runs right in front of the ostrich!::
Ice Cube: Ok there big guy, how about we go back to your immitating enviroment and call it a day huh? What do think about that? Sounds good right? Right!
Ostrich: ROOOOOOOOAAARRRRR!!!!!!!!!!
Ice Cube: AAHHH!!! HOLEY GOD IT'S FOAMING AT THE MOUTH!!!!!!
Chris Hardy: Cube! Fricken run already!
Ice Cube: Here come! Get ready to shut that gate!
::Cube is running as fast as he can...... which isn't really fast! He dashes into the pen with the ostrich right on his tail!::
Chris Hardy: Gate closed! Now get out of there!
Ice Cube: I can't jump the fence! It's too high!
Chris Hardy: All right hang on let me find some rope!
Ice Cube: Hurry!
::Hardy goes into a shed to find a lenght of rope that Cube can use to climb out of the pen. Meanwhile, Cube is running for his life!::
Ice Cube: AAAHHHHHH!!!!!!! PISSED OFF OSTRICH!!!!!!!! HELP ME!!!!!!!!!!
::Hardy comes running to the rescue!
Chris Hardy: Take this rope and get out!
::Hardy flings the rope over the top of the fence and down the side. Cube grabs it and climbs out! Cube falls and lands hard on Hardy, who tries to catch him, but also falls to the ground! They get up and dust off.::
Chris Hardy: Damnit, that hurt!
Ice Cube: Thanks for the assisst man! We did it!
Chris Hardy: Yeah we did do it! All right! High five!
::They miss!::
Ice Cube: Well.... looks like our work here is done!
Chris Hardy: Wait...... off in the distance... what's that!?!?
Ice Cube: AAHHHH!!!!! A HAPPY MOB THAT WANTS TO CONGRATULATE US AND PROBABLY GIVE US A FRICKEN MEDAL!!!!!!!!!!!!
Chris Hardy: LET'S GO!!!! HURRY!!! PUSH A STONE!!!!!!!!!!
Push Silver Stone