Hey,
I'm Chris the vocalist for Dystortion or "lead singer" if you want to call it that.  Despite some of the pictures, I do not play guitar or really intend to, but I do play that black Ibanez EX Series 5 string bass occasionally.  I try to keep my talents where they do me some sort of good.  I want to warn you from the start...if you don't want to read a lot, you better turn back now haha.  And for those of you who want to know more about me, I guess here goes nothing!

I'm 20 years old, my birthday is September 4th.  My role model is Brandon Boyd of Incubus incase you may have been curious.  I'm also reminded at times by friends and strangers alike that I look like him.  My favorite band is Incubus.  I live in a very small town with drunk farmers and various farm animals, none of which I own....well except Joe, but he's not really a "drunk farmer" per say but he does like a cold one every once in a while.  He sleeps in a box outside.

But enough about Joe, he is shy anyways.  Ok, I will admit in all actuality that I am shy as well, in fact probably more than Joe.  I have trouble talking to people at times and have been known to get the occasional "red face of embarrassment."  But I deal with it as best as I can.  I really enjoy being on stage though, there is something about being with my best friends on stage doing something we all love that calms me down and that gives me a sense of leadership and energy.  It's a truly amazing feeling, especially if the fans in the crowd are enjoying themselves!

As for my singing...I have never had a single lesson in my life, and don't really plan to unless I am really in need of one.  So someone please tell me if I am.  Haha.  I have had a few little advice sessions, if you want to call them that, from people who know what they are doing and they have helped out.  I have noticed some improvement since our first practices in my garage over a year and a half ago.   

Some things I enjoy doing:  Drawing (check the art page), learning and playing new instruments (drums, guitar, and I really want to learn violin), playing bass (which I used to do before we stumbled upon a great find known to us as "Manning"), learning new languages and writing styles like Spanish and Sanskrit, working on cars (I'm a gearhead, greaser..what ever you want to call it), playing video games, designing web pages and building computers,...oh and singing!  Wow....sounds like I will be busy for awhile. 

Much like the rest of my band I am single (there seems to be a trend occurring).  I have had girlfriends in the past, some treated me well others not so well, but then again I am sure I was not perfect by a long shot.  Oh well, maybe some day things will change.

I am in the process of trying to start my own recording label to try to curb all the "extra stuff" that comes with labels that "know how music should sound" and "know what sells."  I want our band to be as far away from that scene as possible.  I am not exactly so sure of my idea, as a few of my friends will tell you.... my ideas usually don't work.  But this time, I hope my idea succeeds.

Well I am sorry for taking a large chunk of time out of your life by making you read this long, unbridled rambling of mine.  But good job if you made it this far and aren't on the verge of a stellar deep sleep.  :)

Send me and the other guys an email sometime, we would love to hear from people who like our music and like what we are doing.  We appreciate it all very much!

Take it easy....

For all of you who remember my little "schpeel" on the main page and want to read it again for old times sake, I put here it here....and If you haven't read it yet, go for it, it's kinda hilarious!  I just figured I would use the "HOME" page for something important....

I'm Chris, your dam tour guide, well until the dam site actually works.. but until then I will show you around this dam website until you have seen every dam thing we have to offer.  And also if there happens to be any dam mention of "me" or "I" anywhere in the dam pages (besides the dam member bios) it is most likely me talking.  A little bit about me........I actually do a little dam vocal work for the guys of Dystortion.  Great bunch of dam guys!  They found me laying in the dam street, and decided they could use some dam help.  Don't tell them this, but I just told them I could help them out with the dam vocals so I could get some new dam clothes and some damn good dam food, I actually don't know how to sing.  Oh well, that's their dam problem, not mine.  Anyway when this dam website is completed by none else than dam old me, it will have some dam pictures, some dam lyrics to our dam songs, dam member bios, and some other dam crap that no one gives a damn about.  I'm a dam comedian.  I'm actually the dam loser.  So anyway, check back here often for some dam updates and a really kick ass dam site.

Later y'all........

Chris of Dystortion

My 1968 Harmony guitar (called the "Smeck") and my fairly rare Ibanez EX Series 5 string bass.

 

	Here you see what I saw one night at manning's house....I ate that whole pizza sitting on the table (a large pepperoni), and now I'm just takin it easy.
and here I am sportin the converse all stars
For some reason I kind of look like I am 12 in this one I think...but anyway here's some soft-core porn for ya.  Sorry to all the guys out there who stumbled upon this picture....
Here are some other websites that I have built or that I like: My 92 Mustang Rebuild My 95 Ford Taurus SHO page Incubus Online AudioVent

Speedie13@aol.com