I missed this. I really missed this. I missed the hunt, the thrill of the chase. I missed having B beside me while we were in our element. Slayers, indestructable, powerful, deadly. We're patrolling in the graveyard. There are two vamps here somewhere, they ran for it while we were turning their five buddies into dust, but I can still feel them here. Gotta love those slayer senses.

I hear it, the almost silent footstep behind and to our right. Looking at B I see she's heard it too. Silently, she mouths a countdown to me as the vampires approached from behind.

One... Two... *Three*

We spin as one, B flooring one with a leg-sweep, me smashing into the other guy's jaw with a roundhouse. They back off, a little stunned, but then they charge us for a second go.

I fucking love this feeling! The aggression, the sheer burning rage that takes hold of me in a fight. The total confidence in myself, in my ability to kick serious vampire ass. The adrenaline surging through me, heightened senses, everything in overdrive.

Pairing off, I take the big but dumb looking one, and B squares off with a smaller female. Small but quick, she and B are exchanging kicks and punches in a blur of motion that makes even me a little dizzy. And then my attention is drawn from watching them fight as my guy charges in.

*<>*<>*<>*<>*

I'm trying to keep up with this vamp as she lashes out with punch after punch. Damn but she's fast. And accurate too. I drop my guard, letting her land a punch that leaves her open for just a second, it's long enough. I grab her by the shoulder, twist, and she has her back to me. Then it's just a case of grabbing a stake and slamming it home. From a few feet away I hear the grunts of exertion that tell me Faith's having a harder time of it.

The vamp she's fighting is built like a house and, while not particularly intelligent, his size makes it hard for her to get inside his guard. If she just went for the quick kill she could probably take him out with a minimum of fuss, but that was never her style. No, she'll keep beating up on him until she's worked the edge off of her rage.

Well, better the vamp than me. This time.

He lands a punch to her face, rocking her back with the force of the blow and making her about ten times more pissed off. The almost maniacal grin that she wears when she's ready to *really* fight appears and I can almost sympathise with the vamp, she's about to go postal on him.

"Now that's more like it." she growls and rushes him, tackling him around the waist and, built like a linebacker or not, he's going down.

They roll as they hit the ground and Faith comes out on top, straddling him and punching him repeatedly in the face.

"C'mon, fight me you bastard."

He tries to comply, struggling underneath her, but she has him beaten and she grunts in frustration. What is it with her and the whole grunting thing anyway? But I guess she's decided she's had enough and she takes out a stake. I watch as she raises it to finish him off and then something hits me from behind and the world goes black.

*<>*<>*<>*<>*

My stake is halfway to the vamp's undead heart when I hear B cry out in pain. I finish him and, rolling off of him before he's even dust, I'm up in a fighting stance. My heart's in my mouth when I see Buffy down and out.

Fuck! There was another vamp. Where did he come from? He's not charging me, waiting for me to move instead. Well, if that's what he wants...

I twirl my stake, just to show off, and then I rush him, aiming low but striking high at the last moment. He blocks, barely, and counters with a low sweep that I avoid easily. We circle, each a little more wary after testing our defences. He lashes out, I stop his arm with my own and land a kick to his middle that leaves him bent double. Taking advantage, I grab his head and bring it crashing down, full force onto my knee. Bone shatters, blood sprays and he cries out. Beautiful. I smash my foot into his kneecap rejoicing as he screams like an animal.

Yeah, I'm the Slayer you undead son of a bitch. And I'm better than you. I'm better than you and all your vamp friends. The rage rises in me again, and I use it, mold it. It's my greatest weapon, always have been. No one's gonna beat me coz I won't give 'em the fucking satisfaction. No one's gonna beat me coz I'm the Slayer. I'm not eight years old anymore and now I can hit back. Now I can make *them* hurt.

"I'm... fucking... better... than... you." Each word is accompanied by a punch to his already broken and bleeding face until he's not able to fight any more and so I stake him.

I really fuckin' missed this.

I move over to kneel beside B. She's unconscious and she has a nasty bruise on the side of her face but she'll be okay. Slayer healing and all, it'll be gone in a couple of days. I'm about to try and wake her when I hear people approaching, trying to move silently.

I sigh but stay kneeling. Running through a list of people that could possibly be strolling through a Sunnydale graveyard in the middle of the night, it's not hard to guess who's coming.

"Get the hell away from her."

Beefstick. And he's pointing a crossbow at me. How... pathetic really.

I stand and face him. "You could fire that, but you'd never hit me."

He looks a little confused for a second before recognition kicks in, closely followed by shock with anger bringing up the rear.

"Faith!"

Willow steps out to stand beside him. It takes all my willpower to hold back a sneer but I do. "Hey Red, y'miss me?"

That's when Xander, who's been "sneaking" up on me from behind makes his move. He jumps forward, trying to grab me from behind, and I sidestep, allowing him to fall flat on his face. Smooth Xander, very smooth. He scrambles for safety, away from me.

"And Xander. Gang's all here." I know I'm being somewhat confrontational but I'm just out of a fight, my blood's up... and I really don't like any of these people. Still, I'm back to make amends so I make an internal effort to cut back on the Attitude. These are the people I'm back to make amends with after all. They hate me... I don't blame them. Truth is I'm not so fond of myself either most of the time. But fucked if I'm gonna let them see that.

"Get away from her Faith." Beefstick demands. "And if you've hurt her..."

Great. Way to show them you've changed for the better. Standing over your former no. 1 enemy with blood on your clothes while she's lying unconscious. Good impression. Fortunately for me, B chooses that moment to rejoin the land of the conscious.

"What...?" she's a little groggy until she sees Beefstick toting a crossbow, backed up by some very pissed off looking friends. That seems to clear her head a little. She reaches out a hand for me to help her to her feet and I do, half expecting Riley to try and put a crossbow bolt through me. He doesn't, but he tenses and I can tell he's a heartbeat away from firing.

B sees it too and steps between us. Riley looks surprised, I know how he feels. His grip on the crossbow falters slightly. Well it would, with his girlfriend in the line of fire.

B looks back and forth, between me and her Scoobies. I can see her trying to find a way to explain this situation and calm everyone down. I somehow doubt she's gonna be able to.

"Buffy, are you okay?" Riley asks. "Did she hurt you?"

"What?" B realises what they're all thinking. "No... Riley, Faith didn't do this. There were some vamps, one of them blindsided me."

"So what's she doing here?" Willow chimes in.

"Look... I'll explain everything, okay? But can you please put the crossbow down."

Beefstick hesitates for a moment before lowering it to his side.

I release a breath I didn't realise I was holding. I wasn't so much worried that he'd shoot me, but I was worried that he'd try. B talked them down so I guess that means I'm one up. There's some proverb about long journeys beginning with one step. I think that was my first step. But it's gonna be a *long* journey.

*<>*<>*<>*<>*

They've called a Scooby meeting at Giles' place and everyone's there. Buffy is sitting beside me on the couch - it's a statement and everyone's read it. She's standing up for me. Hard to fucking believe. I mean, out of all the people in this room, I've hurt her the most, screwed with her head, her life, her everything, and here she is going to bat for me with her friends. Is it any fucking wonder that I spent the first few months in Sunnydale in awe of her?

For the first few minutes there was this heavy silence and tension that it would have taken a small arsenal to cut through. I was never one for quiet time so I spoke up.

"Look..." three very hostile pairs of eyes turned on me. "I know you guys hate me, and with good cause. I know I screwed up..."

"You think?" Xander interrupted. "Screwing up is crashing your parents care when you've taken it without permission. You were going to help a giant snake demon bring about hell on earth, I'd class that as somewhat more than a screw up."

Fuck, I know they have a right to hate me, I'll be the first to admit I deserve it. But my first reaction is still to bury my fist in his face and see if he has any smart comments then. It's not like I'm trying to get them to like me or anything, but he's really not making this easy.

"I know." Hard as it is, I meet their eyes, never was one to back down from a challenge. "I know I hurt you all and..." Here's the really hard part "And I'm sorry."

That gets a response.

"Sorry?!" Willow's turn to bash me now. "Oh well then, welcome back all is forgiven!"

"Sarcasm ain't your strong point, Red." I can feel my own anger rising. That's not good. Gotta stay calm. There's an angry silence while everyone tries to regain some control.

"Look... I'm not asking for forgiveness, or for you to trust me. But I'm... I'm trying to do the right thing here, so all I'm asking is you give me a chance to prove that I'm being straight with you."

Willow just stares at me in something between disbelief and disgust; Xander shakes his head; Riley hasn't taken his eyes off the ground since this whole thing started.

Willow turns to Giles. "Surely the Watcher's Council have some say in this?"

"Not if we don't tell them." B says quietly, speaking for the first time.

"And when they find out... which they will?" Red prompts.

"Then we'll deal with that when it happens." B stares Red down. "For now... For now we give her a chance. I'm not saying trust her," she looks at me with an expression I can't read, "I can't ask you to do that. But at least give her a chance."

Willow and Xander look at each other, somewhat subdued. Red's squeeze and some other chick who I gather is Xander's girl look like they couldn't give a toss. Giles is cleaning his glasses, again.

"No."

It's quiet, but firm. B turns to him. "Riley?"

Beefstick looks up from examining the carpet. "No, Buffy." He stands up and glares at me. I return the favour. If there's one thing I can do well, it's hold a stare.

"Admittedly, I wasn't here when you went psychopathic and killed people and tried to bring about an apocalypse. But I was when you switched bodies with Buffy. And judging by the damage you did on what, by all accounts, was you on a relatively good day, I say the best thing you can do is get the hell out of Sunnydale and don't come back."

"Riley, shut up."

Damn but that tone could stop a bull in it's tracks. Beefstick is stunned into silence and B has everyone's attention. Even Xander's honey is looking somewhat excited at the idea of a showdown brewing.

"You're right Riley, you weren't here for the Ascension, or what lead up to it. You don't know the full story and even what you do know, you didn't live through and you couldn't possibly understand."

He just looks at her for a minute with his puppy dog eyes and I fight down my gag reflex. What does she see in him for Chrissakes? At least Angel had a personality, even if it was a particularly brooding/demonic one. She just stares back at him.

"Fine." he says eventually. Quiet, hurt. "You know where I am if you need me."

And he walks out.

I'm kinda in shock. Did she just do that? Did she actually just have a domestic on my behalf? Judging from the looks on everyone's faces I guess she did. Okay... why? Giles picks a good time to do the Watcher thing.

"Well... it's late and this is all quite a lot to digest, for everyone. I agree Buffy, there is no need to call the Council in on this. We'll just... we'll see how things go for now. We can reconvene tomorrow and decide how we're going to deal with this... situation."

And that's that. At least I survived I suppose. I wait for the rest to leave before I go and as I'm almost out the door Giles stops me.

"Faith?"

"Yeah?"

"If you are sincere about your change... If you are willing to work with us... then, it's good to have you back."

A sceptical part of me agrees with his viewpoint - better to have a Slayer onside than working against you, another part of me is wary of him, of believing him, of trusting him. But I smile anyway. "Thanks."

He nods and I turn to go. "Oh... and Giles?"

"Hmmm?"

"I am. Sincere that is."

"I hope, for all our sakes, that you are."

*<>*<>*<>*<>*

B's waiting for me outside Giles'. Right now she looks like she could give Angel a run for his money in the brooding department. She's scuffing the ground with her boot with this really intense, almost worried look on her face. I wonder what thoughts could be that deep?

"Hey." I say and she looks up, guarding her expression.

"Hey."

"Ummm..." I've never been any good at these kind of talks so I take a deep breath and go for it, hoping for the best. "B, what you said in there... I mean... well, thanks, y'know. I-"

"Look Faith," she cuts me off. "I stood up for you coz if I didn't there's no way in hell any of them would listen to you. Doesn't mean we're any better. You and I... we're still on rocky ground, okay?"

"I get that." Believe me, I get that. "B, I know you don't trust me, I don't blame you. I wouldn't trust me either. But believe me when I say that I wouldn't be back here, I wouldn't be putting myself through this if I didn't want to try and fix some of the damage I did. I know I'm not gonna be able to make it all good again, but I'm hoping at least..."

"At least what?"

I sigh. I really, really hate these kind of talks.

"When I was in prison, all I could think about was how I screwed you over. I... Guilt isn't something I'm used to dealing with but I figured if I could just... If I could make up for some of what I did here, then maybe I could stop feeling like shit... and we could all move on."

She mulls that over for a minute and when she speaks her voice is quiet, subdued.

"I've been trying to move on for eight months." she says. "Hasn't worked."

And suddenly she looks as tired as I feel. And when she looks at me those eyes that have haunted me for years now, I'm reminded of that bond we used to have. She was right when she told Beefstick he couldn't understand, even if he'd been there. Nor did any of the others really. Because it was never about them, even though I used them to screw with her, it was about me and Buffy. Always, me and her.

The Slayers. The chosen two. Sisters in arms. Mortal enemies. Two halves, mine the darker of the two. My Yin to her Yang. We balanced each other. We understood each other, better than anyone else possibly could. Because what we had set us apart from her friends, fuck, it set us apart from the rest of the human race. The one thing we had that made us different, we could share. And that bond, bruised and tattered as it may be, is still intact. That gives me the first glimmer of real hope I've had since I set foot back in this town.

The silence that falls between us is the least strained one so far today.

"Have you got a place to stay?" she asks eventually.

"I'm gonna crash at the motel. I mean, I could go back to the apartment but..."

There's no need to finish that sentence. She ahs the same meories of that night and neither of us really want to relive them.

"You have the cash for it?"

"I'll get by."

"I know Mom's looking for someone to help her out at the gallery. I'm not sure how she'd take to you showing up, but I can have a word with her if you want."

I'm not sure. Even though she seemed kinda cool earlier today, Joyce ain't exactly my number one fan. Then again, no one's my number one fan. Matter of fact, I don't have *any* fans right now. Well, I need a job so I guess it can't hurt.

"Yeah, that'd be cool. Thanks, B."

"I'll talk to her tomorrow." For a moment her guard is down and that worried expression is back, quickly it's guarded again. "Well, I have school so..."

"Sure, yeah, better go. Thanks again."

She gives me a fake smile and then walks away. Well, this has been one hell of a day. I kinda feel like I'm out of my depth here. It's not that I was expecting it to be easy, coming back, making amends. But it's something I've never done before, never faced up to the consequences, never took the responsibility for my own mistakes. It was so much easier before. Before, I'd just run. Coz that worked so well...

All my running ended me up in Sunnydale, with the one thing I couldn't run from.

*<>*<>*<>*<>*

I turn and walk away, muttering some excuse about school. Everything that's happened today - fuck, everything that's happened in the last few weeks is catching up with me now and I need some space to think.

Faith's back. And not in a "back for her revenge" kind of way, she's trying to make amends. Or so she says. Can I trust her? Do I want to?

I've spent so long being angry at her that it's hard to let go. And yet when Riley started laying into her I defended her. I mean, God, he has a right to hate her for what she did. I have the same right, but it's more complicated than that.

After graduation I went to see her in the hospital. I guess I wanted some kind of closure. She looked so... innocent, just lying there. I mean, I knew she was a crazed psychopathic killer and everything, but lying there, defenceless, helpless, she was just another young girl.

It's her eyes, I think, that give her that dark edge. They're so haunted, the browness of them almost black most times. I can't help but wonder what those eyes have seen. But when she was in that coma, eyes closed, I couldn't pretend that I hated her. I felt so damn guilty, looking at her. Partly because I put her there, partly because I couldn't get through to her when she really needed someone. I felt like I let her down, failed her in some way. Maybe I did. Maybe her coming back is a chance for all of us to make up for past mistakes. I don't know.

What I do know is that she picked a bitch of a time to come back. Things have been strained lately... on all fronts. Since Spike tried to split us up when he was working with Adam, things haven't been the same. Maybe it's just part of us all growing up. I mean, Will has Tara, Xander has Anya, I have Riley, and *uurgh* - Giles even has Mom, still getting used to that one. Maybe we just don't need each other as much anymore.

But things with Riley aren't exactly peachy either. Lately we've been... I don't know, distant, I guess. It's like we're burnt out or something. And the worst part of it is, he's a nice guy, a really nice guy. And I don't want to hurt him, but I really don't see us having a future together and I don't know how to tell him. But I know I have to... maybe sooner rather than later.

He told me once if I was going to break his heart, to do it quickly. I think I've let him down in that respect. For the past couple of months we've been growing apart and I think we both know it's just a matter of time until we're over.

Suddenly I really don't want to think about this anymore. I don't want to think, period. I'm tired, exhausted more like, and emotionally drained. Hell, maybe it'll all make more sense in the morning. Mostly I'm just glad this day is over... or maybe not.

"Riley?"

He's standing outside my dorm room and he's got "Army-Face" on.

"We need to talk."

Damn, this is going to be "The Talk". "Okay."

I open the door and let him in. Willow isn't here. I'm not surprised, she's been spending more and more time at Tara's recently. At least one of our group's relationships is functional. Sitting on the bed, I wait for him to start.

"What's going on Buffy?"

Yeah, good question. Been asking myself that too. "How do you mean Riley?"

"I mean you and me. Lately we've been... I don't know. I don't feel close to you anymore. Like you've been drawing away over the past couple of months. I know we're not going to be perfect all the time, we'll have our ups and downs, I know, but when you attacked me over *her*. What is it Buffy?"

"Riley, I'm sorry, but you *weren't* here for the Ascension. And it's not as cut and dry as you seem to think."

"How complicated can it be? She went to work for the bad guys. And judging from what she did when she woke from her coma she wasn't exactly remorseful about it."

"See that's where you're wrong. It *was* complicated. Riley, Faith... Faith is what I could have been. If I didn't have Giles, if I didn't have my friends, my Mom to support me. She didn't have that. And I'm not excusing what she did, but I can't help but feel that if I had gotten through to her when she killed Finch, that maybe that would have made all the difference."

"Maybe... maybe." he's quiet for a minute, gathering himself before he goes on the offensive "But you didn't. And I'm guessing it wasn't from lack of trying. What happened happened, you have to move on, both of you. Her being here isn't going to help that."

That gets my blood up. He really doesn't get it, does he?

"Her being in a coma didn't help it. Her being in jail didn't help it either. Kinda running out of things that will help Riley. But one thing that I know isn't going to help is you jumping down her throat and putting her on the defensive again."

"Well I'm sorry Buffy, but she used me. And that's not something I can just forget."

"No one's asking you to, Riley. And if you think she used you, think about what she put me through. But I'm willing to give her another chance, I'm asking you to do the same."

"Why?"

"Because... Because I believe she's honest when she says she wants to change. I think she wants to try and make up for what she did."

He just stares at me for a moment and then he seems to deflate. He sits on the bed across from me, resting his elbows on his knees, head in his hands.

"This isn't really about Faith, is it?" he looks up and I can see what he's going to say in his eyes. "It's about us."

"I don't know what it's about, Riley, but... yeah, I've felt a distance between us recently."

He's quiet for a long moment.

"Is it me?" he asks.

"No, I... It's us, I think. We're just... it's not working anymore."

He sighs and nods and there's not much either of us can say now.

"So that's it."

"I guess." I reply. I'm not going to insult him with the "we can still be friends speech." If he wants to, that's good, coz I do still want him to be a part of my life. But if he wants to walk away, then I'll let him. "I'm sorry Riley. You're a nice guy, and we were good together but..."

"Yeah. I know. We're not anymore."

Even in a break up he's still Mr. Nice Guy. Not bitter, not angry, just calmly accepting.

"I'll understand if you want to walk away, Riley. But there's still a whole lot of evil out there to be fought and... well, you're part of the team so... are you still part of the team?"

He smiles a little. "Yeah. Yeah, I am. I just... I need some space, some time. But I'm still on your side, always."

"Thanks Riley."

"Well... it's late. I'd better go." he stands to leave.

"Riley?" he turns. "I'm sorry." I say quietly.

"So am I." he practically whispers, and then he's gone.

I sigh, flopping back onto my bed. This day has just gotten better and better. And we still have Faith to deal with. There are some days when I wish things were a little less hellmouthy and a whole lot less complicated. Then again, if they were, it wouldn't be Sunnydale.

That's when I remember, not only do I have a maybe reformed Slayer, just become ex-boyfriend, and very angry friends to deal with on top of the usual nightly slaying of the undead, but I have a chem test in the morning. Great.

*<>*<>*<>*<>*

My sleep that night is filled with dreams that I can't quite remember in the morning. I just have a vague image of haunted brown/black eyes.

Heaving an internal sigh, I get up and dressed to start what I'm sure is going to be another long day.