Buffy Summers stormed into the library, clutching a piece of paper in her hand. She set it down in front of Rupert Giles, who stood behind the counter.

"Why hello, Buffy," he greeted. "How are you doing today?"

"We have a problem. My report card came yesterday. Guess who's grounded until further notice?"

"Good God, Buffy. What's the matter?"

She raised her eyebrows. "I thought I just told you. Mom saw my report card, saw that I failed History and totally flipped out. I'm grounded until my grades improve. That means no dating, no slaying and no late-night research parties."

"There must be some way around it. Surely she understands how vital it is that you slay."

"Mom understands but doesn't really care. Says that my education is more important than fighting demons. You have to talk to her, Giles," she begged. "I can't spend the rest of the school year trapped in my bedroom. Even if it is only two more months."

Her Watcher nodded. "I'll see what I can do."

"Do it now." Buffy pointed to his office.

"Very well. I shall call her at the gallery." He disappeared into his office, closing the door behind him.

Buffy sat herself at the table, pouting. `It just isn't fair,' she thought. `I hope Giles can talk some sense into her.'

The library doors burst open with the sound of laughter. Buffy looked up, seeing her best friend and boyfriend enter.

"Hey," Willow Rosenberg greeted.

Kevin Matthews walked over to Buffy, giving her a kiss. "Morning."

"Morning," she replied half-heartedly.

"What's wrong? Why didn't you call me back last night after patrol? Did something happen?" Kevin asked.

She looked up at her boyfriend of over a year. "Yeah. Mom grounded me because I failed History. No phone, no dating, no slaying."

"Buffy, I'm so sorry. Is there anything I can do? Help you out with your studying?"

"Kevin, you barely passed History yourself. Besides, Giles is talking some sense into my mom right now."

"I hope he gets through to her."

Buffy smiled slightly, for the first time all day. "Me too."

"Don't worry, Buffy," Willow soothed. "Giles will get your mom to calm down."

"Let's talk about happier things. How did you do, Will? Is your place in National Honor Society still secure?"

Willow nodded. "Yes. Straight As."

"As usual," commented Kevin. "You'd probably go off the deep end if you ever got a B."

"I would not!"

Giles walked out of his office. "Well, Buffy, I have good news. Good morning, Willow, Kevin."

"Hi, Giles," Kevin and Willow said in unison.

"How good?"

He took a seat across the table from her. "Your mother and I discussed the situation and came to a conclusion. She'll allow you to continue slaying at a minimum if you receive extra help with your studies."

"What kind of help?"

"Tutoring."

"I can help Buffy," offered Willow.

"Unfortunately, I brought up that option with Mrs. Summers and she is opposed to it. She doesn't want Buffy to have any distractions, so we have agreed upon outside help. A professional tutor."

Buffy sighed. "Great. Now I feel really stupid."

"You're not stupid," Willow told her.

"Hardly. If Giles and your mother think a professional tutor is a good idea, you should go for it, Buffy. You have nothing to lose."

"Fine. I'll hire a tutor."

"Actually," Giles began, "I have already made arrangements. After I got off the phone with your mother I called someone who can help you. He's going to stop by this afternoon."

"He?" Kevin asked.

"Yes. He comes highly recommended. A graduate of UCLA with a Masters in History." Giles chose only to tell them what they needed to know. "Buffy, you'll be meeting with him every afternoon before your training as well as during your study halls."

"Terrific. I officially have no life." The bell rang, signaling the five minute warning before homeroom. "That's our cue."

Giles followed the three teenagers to the doors. "Please be here on time, Buffy. The fate of the world may very well depend on it."

"Doesn't it always?" she muttered.

********

The two men sat opposite each other at the table. Giles made eye contact with the young man across from him. "I can't tell you how important this is. Buffy's mother doesn't seem to fully understand how essential Buffy's role is."

"She's the Slayer. It's the most important role there is. I'm willing to help out in any way possible," the young man said.

"Buffy isn't aware of your identity. She does not know about your mother or that you are a Watcher-in-training. All I have told her is that you have a Masters degree in History from UCLA. Bringing you in as her tutor will make it easier for you to understand the training of the Slayer, as well as her everyday routine."

He nodded solemnly. "I remember it."

"Buffy is a unique girl. Take everything you know about Slayers and throw it out the window because she doesn't follow the rules. Have patience with her, she an be difficult at times. But Buffy Summers is a lovely young woman. You'll not find another person like her."

"Like who?" Buffy asked with her eyebrows raised. She'd walked in on the tail end of the conversation.

The two stood up. "Buffy, I didn't hear you come in."

"I'm quiet." She glanced at the other man. She was immediately attracted to his tall, dark and handsome profile. He was the polar opposite of Kevin's blonde, upbeat demeanor. Standing at least six feet tall, the young man had brown eyes so deep Buffy thought she might drown in them. He had to be the most handsome man she'd ever laid eyes on.

She flashed him a brilliant smile, happy that Kevin wasn't there to get jealous. "Hi. I'm Buffy. Nice to meet you."

He stared into her green eyes. "Same here."

Giles noticed the young man's inability to find words. It concerned him, but he chose to ignore it. "Buffy, this is Angel Reilly. He'll be helping your with your studies."

********

2

Angel didn't know what came over him at first. When Buffy entered the library, a rush of heat went through his veins, awakening feelings the twenty-seven year old never thought possible. Standing before him was a small, blonde, beautiful spitfire of a young woman. Something in her emerald eyes captured his heart with a grip that refused to let go. Without even speaking to her, he was in love.

She took the seat to his right, placing her backpack on the table. Having her so close scared Angel. He worried that he would not be able to concentrate. "What -- what are you going over right now?" he stammered.

"The Chilly War or something like that."

Angel chuckled. "The Cold War maybe?"

"Yeah, that one."

"Okay, you know that it's about democracy versus communism taking over the world?" She nodded. "It began shortly after the end of World War II and that the Democratic nations of the world feared a communist takeover. Particularly the U.S.."

"I know all of that. Well, at least now I do. But when it comes time for the test, it's gone."

"Nerves? I used to get nervous at tests, too."

Buffy smiled. "More like performance anxiety. It's like, the minute the paper is in front of me, my mind goes blank.

Sorry, I'm not very scholastic. There are other outside things that require more of my attention than who was the twenty-third President."

"You must lead a very busy life," Angel commented.

"Busy is one way of describing it."

"I guess that's why I'm here. To lessen the load."

"No, you're here because I suck at school. And I am probably wasting your time by talking about this. I hope my mom's paying you well for putting up with me."

Angel cast his eyes to the book between them. "I'd gladly do it for free." `Just for the chance to be near you.' "Well, you'll definitely be working for your money."

"Why don't we get started on some questions you have about the Cold War."

He reached over to open Buffy's History book, and in doing so, brushed hands with her. Angel felt a bolt of electricity go through his body at her touch. His fingers lingered for a brief moment, exhilarating in the warmth of her skin. All of a sudden, Angel never felt so alive as he did right then.

He moved his hand away, opening the book as the library doors opened. "Hi, guys," Buffy said to the group of teenagers that sauntered in.

Angel looked up at the group of four; two girls and two boys.

One of the boys was tall and lanky with short brown hair while the other was a few inches shorter, had blonde hair and much more muscular. `An athlete, probably.' The two girls were about the same height, but one had long brown hair and the other had shoulder-length red hair.

The blonde boy came up and embraced Buffy, kissing her softly.

Angel was hurt and more than slightly jealous. `Her boyfriend, no doubt,’ he thought. `Who am I to kid myself, thinking someone as special as Buffy would be without a man in her life.'

"So, Buff, is this the new tutor?" the brown-haired boy asked.

"Yep. Guys, this is Angel Reilly. Angel, this is Xander Harris," the brown-haired boy, "Cordelia Chase," the brunette girl, "Willow Rosenberg," the redhead, "and Kevin Matthews. My boyfriend."

He stood up. "Nice to meet all of you."

"What a hottie," Cordelia whispered to Willow. "I'm beginning to wish I'd failed History, too."

Buffy turned around to glare at the girl. "What are you doing here?"

Xander shrugged. "Nothing better to do."

"Buffy, maybe we should do this some other time," suggested Angel.

She pulled herself out of Kevin's embrace. "You don't have to go. They were just leaving."

"Yeah. We just stopped by to see how everything was going," Willow told her.

"And because Kevin wanted to check this guy out," Cordelia muttered under her breath.

Angel shook his head. "I really didn't come prepared anyway. I just came to meet Buffy. Tomorrow I'll bring some notes and questions for you to answer." He grabbed his black duster from his chair.

"It was nice to meet you, Angel," Willow said.

He smiled and nodded. Taking a last look at Buffy, he walked out of the room.

"Why did you guys really come here?" demanded Buffy.

"I wanted to meet your tutor," Kevin explained.

Buffy narrowed her eyes and placed her hands on her hips. "And I'm sure it had nothing to do with the fact you heard Giles say he is a graduate of UCLA. You were jealous, weren't you, Kevin?"

"I just wanted to meet him."

"And now you've seen that Angel is really good-looking," `Gorgeous is more like it.' "does that mean you'll be here every afternoon when I'm studying with him?"

"Don't be that way, Buffy."

"He's a nice guy, he doesn't deserve this."

"You hardly know him."

Buffy was fuming by this point. "First impressions." She felt the need to pound something, and her boyfriend's face would not be considered socially acceptable. "I need to train with Giles now."

Xander, Cordelia and Willow said their good-byes and left.

Kevin lingered for a few minutes, but left when Giles and Buffy finished setting up for her training.

"So, what did you think of Angel?" Giles asked.

She swung the sword, only to have her swing blocked. "Seems nice. He didn't stay long."

"Why not?"

"Kevin showed up. I think he scared Angel away."

Giles was well-aware of Kevin Matthews' jealousy in regards to Buffy. He immediately felt sorry for Angel. "Will he be returning tomorrow?"

"As far as I now, he said he would be." Buffy wanted him to come back, wanted to see her young, handsome History tutor. "How long have you know him for?"

Giles dodged her swings. "For many years. His father was a friend of mine. Angel's very...introverted, if you will. But a very nice young man."

"Is he married?" Buffy knew she was pushing, but she wanted -- no, needed -- to know more about him. Something unidentifiable passed through her when they touched. It unnerved her.

"Angel? No. He's very dedicated to his studies, and now to his work. I don't believe he has the time."

"Family?"

"You should be asking him these questions. Not me, Buffy."

Buffy took one last swing with her sword, knocking her Watcher to the ground. "I think I will."

*******

Part 3

"Buffy, I am sorry for acting the way I did today," Kevin apologized that night at the Expresso Pump. He'd found her during patrol and convinced her to get a cup of coffee with him. "It was totally uncalled for. I know that now."

"I'm glad. But, Kevin, you don't have to be so jealous and protective whenever you see me with another guy. Angel is just my History tutor."

Kevin grasped her hand across the table. "I guess I'm afraid you're going to leave me."

"Angel's probably pushing thirty. I highly doubt he'd be interested in a high school senior. You have nothing to worry about." Buffy took a sip of her coffee, emptying the contents of the cup. "I gotta head out. Mom wants me in by ten."

She groaned. "I hate having a curfew."

"Can I drive you home" he offered.

"Thanks, but I don't mind walking. Might be able to stake a few vamps on the way." She gave him a quick peck on the cheek. "Just get yourself home in one piece."

Kevin grinned. "Will do, Chief." He walked out of the cafe with her. "Buffy, we're still going to the Prom together, right?"

"If I live that long, we are," she answered.

"Well, I have a surprise for you."

Buffy was immediately suspicious. "What kind of surprise?"

"A very good one. Everything's not all worked out yet, but I will tell you this. I am planning on making Prom the most wonderful night of our lives."

"How intriguing. But I wouldn't be making too many plans for the future. We are living on the Hellmouth, you know," Buffy reminded him.

"You have to think about the future sometime, Buffy."

She frowned. "I try not to, since I may not have one."

He sighed heavily. "Stop talking like you're going to die tomorrow."

"I could. Kevin, I'm the Slayer. My life expectancy isn't exactly the same as yours. Look, it's getting late and I don't feel like arguing with you. Good night." Without waiting for a reply, Buffy turned down the street toward her house.

********

"How was patrol?" Mrs. Summers asked when Buffy walked the door at 9:55.

"Boring. Only three vamps tonight."

"And school? Did you meet your tutor yet?"

Buffy took a seat on the reclining chair that faced her mother. "Yes, I did. We didn't do any studying, it was more like a meeting."

"What's he like? Or she?"

"He. His name is Angel. So far, so good. Nice, normal guy. Giles says he has a degree in History from UCLA."

Mrs. Summers raised her eyebrows. "It's a great school. This Angel must be quite intelligent."

"Like I said, we haven't done any studying yet."

"How old is he? What does he look like?" pried Buffy's mother.

She laughed. "Aren't we Miss Twenty Questions tonight. I'm not sure how old he is. If I had to guess, I would say twenty-eight or so. He's tall, spikey brown hair, brown eyes, nice build."

Mrs. Summers took note of the look in Buffy's eyes and the expression on her face. `Looks like she's got a crush.' "He's good-looking, I take it."

Buffy nodded her head. "He looks like one of those guys you'd see on the cover of GQ. He rates pretty high on the John Cusack scale of gorgeousness."

"I can't wait to meet him."

"Uh-huh. I'm going to my room to do some homework. Night, Mom."

"Night, Buffy," Mrs. Summers said as Buffy walked up the stairs to her bedroom.

********

Her dream from the night before was still fresh in her mind during Buffy's tutoring session with Angel the next day. She found that she had a hard time concentrating on what he was teaching her; all she could think about was the dream. How real, how vivid was had been.

It began with her crying over something. Buffy couldn't remember what, but Angel held her in his arms and simply let her cry. He gave her soothing words, telling her everything would be okay. His arms felt safe, so comforting, so like home to her. And she believed his words.

The next part of her dream showed them lying in bed, but on opposite sides. Buffy shivered, despite the three blankets covering her. Noticing her uncomfortableness, Angel asked if she was cold. She said yes, and he in turn asked her if she wanted him to move over, so his body heat would warm her. Buffy nodded, but never expected him, clad only in a pair of boxer shorts above all the blankets, to climb underneath them and put his arms around her. Buffy felt warm right away.

The last image in her dream stuck out the most in her mind. She and Angel stood facing each other, staring into each others eyes. He asked if she was sure, and she replied by saying that she was ready now. Angel leaned down, capturing her lips in a passionate kiss the likes of which she'd never experienced.

"Buffy?" Angel asked.

She shook her head, tearing herself away from her reverie. Glancing up at him, Buffy saw the questions in his eyes. In looking at him, she couldn't help but remember the image of his bare chest in her dreams. The chiseled muscles, the pure perfection of it. `I wonder if that's what he really looks like,' she mused. `No, stop it. I shouldn't be thinking about this.'

"I'm here."

"You looked like you were a million miles away," Angel told her with a small smile.

"Something like that. What were you saying again?"

He pointed to a group of questions he had written down on a piece of notebook paper. "I'd like you to answer these questions by tomorrow's session." `That's right, Angel. Stay professional. Don't let her see how you really feel.'

"No prob. I've got something I have to do first, but it'll get done."

"I guess that's it for today." Angel didn't want to leave, though. He wanted to stay with her as long as possible.

"Buffy, Giles tells me you have some questions. About me."

Buffy felt embarrassed. "Figures he'd tell you. I just asked him a few questions. No big."

"I'd be happy to answer them, if you want to ask me."

"Don't I feel totally embarrassed now. You must think I'm some kind of loser."

"Quite the opposite," he said, honestly.

Buffy put her books and papers away. "I only asked Giles if you were married and if you have a family."

"No, I'm not married. Haven't found the right girl yet." `Yes you have!' his heart screamed at him. `She's sitting across from you!'

"Do you think she's out there?" she wanted to know.

"I know she is."

"What about your family?"

Angel had a faraway look on his face, which did not go unnoticed by Buffy. "My mom died when I was six. I barely remember her. I never knew my father."

"Giles said he knew your father."

"He knew the man who raised me. Not my biological father."

Buffy placed a hand on his upper arm. "I'm so sorry for prying. Or to bring up bad memories."

He shifted his gaze to her hand, still touching his arm. "Don't be. I'm glad I never knew him. Some people should never be parents."

"I know what you mean."

"I'm sorry?"

"My dad. Don't get me wrong, I love him, but I wonder where I rate in his life. I haven't seen him in months, he never called me on my birthday. How hard is it to pick up the phone and say `Happy Birthday, Buffy. How does it feel to be eighteen?'? Or even send a card? Don't I mean anything to him?"

"Of course you do. You're his daughter. How could you not?" Angel's heart soared that Buffy confided this in him so soon.

"I don't know."

Angel saw Giles motioning to him. "Why don't we end for today? There's a few things I need to do this afternoon."

Buffy smiled and nodded, but felt disappointed that they had to part ways. But she looked forward to seeing him during her study hall tomorrow. `Who would have thought I'd actually look forward to History? Now if only Mr. Miller looked like Angel...' "Sure. I'll see you tomorrow."

He entered Giles' office. "How are things working out?" asked the Watcher.

"Much better than I expected.

"I am glad. So you believe this situation will work out?"

"Without a doubt." Angel took a deep breath. "I want to tell her, Giles."

"Tell her?"

"Who I am. What I'm really doing here. I don't want to keep any secrets from Buffy. She should know the truth."

Giles shuffled the papers on his desk. "That is up to you, Angel. Part of being a good Watcher is knowing the right time to say something and finding the right words to say it. Telling Buffy this early in the relationship is a good idea. But I wanted it to be your decision."

"I'll tell her the next time we meet." He turned to leave.

"Angel? May I ask you a question?" Angel simply nodded. "Do you care for Buffy?"

He felt the need to be honest. "Very much."

Giles didn't need to hear the reply. He had known from the look in Angel's eyes, the expression on his face, and the way color filled his cheeks whenever the Slayer entered the room. "I thought so. Be careful with her."

"I plan to."

4

Angel needed to get out of his apartment to clear his head. The night was warm, so he decided to go for a walk. He kept a stake concealed in the pocket of his duster in case he should happen upon a vampire during his walk.

For twenty-four hours, he had been unable to get Buffy out of his mind. She plagued his mind constantly, and no matter what he did, the image of the Slayer wouldn't leave. He could picture her face in his books, his cereal bowl, on his television screen, even in his dreams. Buffy Summers was everywhere.

Angel wanted to tell her how he felt, how much he wanted to be there for her-- with her. He'd never experienced love before, and it overwhelmed him. In one brief instant, his world had changed. Angel had gone from Watcher-in-training to man in love the moment he laid eyes on the Slayer.

But he could not tell her how he felt; too many obstacles were in the way. First and foremost was Buffy's boyfriend. She was obviously happy with Kevin, and Angel didn't want to ruin her happiness with his own selfishness.

She, and her happiness, meant the world to him, despite how much it hurt him in the process. The second obstacle was the Watcher's Council. They strictly believed that a Watcher be emotionally detached from the Slayer. It was an issue of safety, and attachments could prove deadly to both parties. Angel would surely lose his chance at being a Watcher if the Council discovered his true feelings. It would be better for everyone if he kept his love for Buffy a secret.

That didn't mean he would keep his identity a secret from her. It was something Angel didn't want to hide from Buffy anymore; if he couldn't be one hundred percent honest with her, he would tell her as much as he could. The question remained, how would he say it.

‘I just can't say "Buffy, I'm a Watcher." It's too forward. I don't want to dance around the subject, but I don't want to scare her either. Dammit. I'm usually good with words. Why is it when it comes to Buffy I can hardly form a coherent sentence?'

He heard sounds of a struggle in the alley up ahead. Ripping the stake out of his pocket, Angel ran to the scene. He stopped in time to avoid being hit with a garbage can. A man wearing a retro-type shirt from the Eighties slammed into the wall, taking a young woman with him. Fearing for the girl's safety, Angel quickly made his way over, raising his stake in striking position. Before he had a chance to attack the vampire, it exploded into dust.

Surprised, Angel didn't see the girl stand up and wipe the dust from her clothes. She looked up at him, her eyes widening. "Angel? What are you doing here?"

His heart pounded at the sight of Buffy standing in front of him in a t-shirt and black leggings. "B--Buffy. I didn't know it was you."

"I can explain," she said.

"There's no need." Angel decided it was the perfect time to tell her.

"Yeah there is. What you just saw..." Buffy stopped when she saw the stake he held in his right hand. "Why are you holding a stake?"

"Why are you?"

It was meant as a rhetorical question, but Buffy answered anyway. "Protection. You never know who you might run into out here at night."

Angel put his weapon back in his pocket. He had to say it. "Buffy, you don't have to lie to me. I know what's going on."

Buffy doubt it. "Do you?"

"Maybe we better sit down someplace."

"I don't need to sit down. Tell me what it is you think you know."

"That vampires and demons exist. And that you are the Slayer. The one girl in her generation chosen to fight them."

She took a step back. ‘How does he know this? Angel's my History tutor, he's not supposed to now what goes on in Sunnydale after dark.' "Where did you hear that? Did someone take out a bulletin in the paper? ‘Cause I don't remember telling you."

"It's time you know the truth."

"Truth?"

Angel looked around, making sure nobody else was around. "I didn't want to keep it from you, but Giles wanted to keep it a secret and let me decide the right time to tell you."

Buffy was perplexed. "Tell me what?"

He inhaled deeply before beginning. "I'm a Watcher, Buffy."

"You're kidding." She couldn't believe it.

"It's true."

She let it sink in for a minute before saying anything to him. "I thought in order to be a Watcher you had to be a stuffy, know-it-all English guy, not young and totally hot." Realizing that she had spoken without thinking, Buffy blushed. "Just forget I said that last part."

Her comment wasn't likely to be forgotten anytime soon. "Technically, I'm not a Watcher. I've been training to be one for the past three years."

Buffy nodded. "Then why are you here and not in England?"

"I guess the easiest way to say it is that I'm training under Giles. Gaining information about the Slayer's everyday routine." He laughed. "God, that sounded so formal."

"Apparently if you hang around with the stuffy English guys long enough you start to sound like them." ‘But lucky for him, not look like them. Ugh. Stop acting like a swoony school girl. Remember Kevin.'

"You're taking this better than I thought."

"I'm a go-with-the-flow kind of girl. But I have to know something. Is the whole History tutor thing a lie?"

"No. I have a degree in History, I didn't lie about that. I haven't lied about anything."

"Okay. So, do you always do this? Go walking around Sunnydale at eight-thirty and save damsels in distress?"

He glanced at the ground. "Not usually. I had some thinking to do and couldn't do it in my apartment."

"Girl troubles?" Buffy joked.

"Something like that."

She grinned. "Let me guess. It's the age-old story where you like her but she doesn't know you exist. Or thinks of you only as a friend."

"I don't know what she thinks of me."

Deciding by the tone of his voice that it was probably a good idea to change the subject, Buffy did so. "Are you busy for the next hour or so?"

"Not unless you count thinking up questions for tomorrow's study session."

"I don't. Wanna sweep the cemeteries with me? You know, as part of your training."

"I'd love to."

********

"What made you want to be a Watcher?" Buffy asked, plopping herself onto a headstone.

Angel sat next to her. "It's a long, complicated story. I really don't want to talk about it."

"Sure. Whenever you're ready, I'd like to hear it."

He was touched that she was interested in learning about him. Her concern and kindness only made him love her more, if it were possible. "Do you do this a lot? Sit on top of headstones and carry on a conversation?"

"Yeah. Except for the conversation part. I usually slay alone. But half of slaying is waiting. It's a boring job, but someone's got to do it."

"And you are the lucky one?"

She laughed shortly. "Lucky isn't quite the word I'd use."

"Being the Slayer is the most important job a girl can have. You are very lucky, Buffy."

"You make it sound like you know what it's like to be a Slayer."

"Maybe I do."

"Sure you do. Everyone seems to know what my life is like, but they don't. I'm really sick of it."

Angel hopped off. "I'm sorry, Buffy. I don't presume to know you, but I would like to."

"I'd like to know you too. Considering we'll be working together it's probably a good idea."

"You are right." He checked his watch for the time. "What time does patrol end?"

"Nine-thirty. Mom gave me a ten o'clock curfew."

He raised his eyebrows. "Well, it's almost nine-thirty now. Would you mind terribly if I walked you home?"

"I wouldn't mind at all." He took her hand, helping Buffy off the gravestone. Angel smiled to himself. ‘Maybe there's a chance after all.'

********

5

No sooner was Buffy in the house when she ran into her bedroom to call Willow. "Hello?" Willow answered.

"Will, you'll never guess what happened during patrol tonight."

The redhead giggled. "You killed the last demon on earth, thus ensuring the safety of humanity," she guessed.

"Not quite. I was fighting a vamp in an alley and dusted him. Angel saw me."

"As in cute History tutor Angel?"

"One in the same. At first I didn't know what to think. I had to think up an excuse for what was going on. But he knew. Turns out he's a Watcher."

Willow cleared her throat. "He's a Watcher? Aren't all Watchers old, wrinkly British guys? Well, except Giles, and Angel's pretty cute."

Buffy laughed. "You know, I said almost the exact same thing to him."

"You did?" Willow said incredulously.

"Yep. You missed seeing Buffy turn a bright shade of red."

"Are you okay with it?"

"Turning red and being utterly embarrassed? Is anybody ever okay with that?"

Her best friend sighed. "No. About Angel being a Watcher."

"It's not like I can change who he is. You are what you are. But yeah, I'm cool with it."

"That's good. Think you'll be training with him?"

"I don't know. Maybe."

"If you do, he might get all hot and sweaty."

Buffy couldn't believe what her friend said. "Willow!"

"Sorry. Couldn't help the mental images."

And she couldn't either. She saw herself and Angel fighting, quarterstaffs in hand. Sweat trickled down his forehead, and his white t-shirt clung to his chiseled chest. Buffy shook off the image. "Stop it. I so can't be having these thoughts." She heard her mother walking up the stairs. "Mom's coming, I gotta go. I'll see you first thing in the morning. Bye." She hung up only ten seconds before her mother knocked on the door.

"Yeah?" Buffy asked.

Mrs. Summers opened the door, poking her head through. "Just me. How was school today?"

"Educational, as it always is. Nothing exciting."

"And patrol?"

Buffy wasn't ready to tell her mother about Angel. "The same. Dusted some vamps and came home."

"Well, that's good. I have some bad news, Buffy."

"What is it?"

"I have to go out of town for a few days, a week tops. There's an art buying seminar and collection being shown in Chicago. Some rare pieces are up for auction that would be great for the gallery," she explained.

Buffy smiled. "Sounds artsy. When do you leave?"

"First thing in the morning. My flight leaves at seven. Buffy, I am so sorry for having to leave like this, but I have to go."

"It's fine, Mom. You do your art thing and have fun. I can handle things by myself for a few days."

Mrs. Summers hugged her daughter. "You've gotten so mature. Who are you and what have you done to my baby girl?"

"It's called growing up."

********

The next morning at school, Buffy found Kevin standing in front of her locker. "Hey, you," she said with a grin.

"Good morning. You're awful cheerful today," he commented.

"I had a good night."

"You should have more nights like it."

‘If patrolling with Angel puts me in this good of a mood, I might make it an everyday occurrence. Not that I wouldn't mind anyway.' "I'll do my best."

"I hope I'm about to make it better. All the Prom preparations are done, finished, taken care of. We are good to go," Kevin told her.

"Does that mean I get to find out what my surprise is?"

Kevin shook his head. "Not until later. Tell you what, after your training session with Giles, I'll meet you out front. Then I will tell you."

She groaned. "I hate surprises, you know that."

"Yes, I do. But you'll love this one. I guarantee it."

"All right. I promised Willow I'd see her before homeroom. I'll see you later, Kevin." They kissed good-bye and Buffy headed in the direction of Willow's locker.

********

Giles sat behind his desk, with Angel sitting on the other side of his office. "Tell me again how it happened."

"I was out for a walk when I heard what I thought was a fight in an alley. I was all ready to stake the vampire when it got staked. Buffy stood up, obviously shocked to see me holding a stake. She started to make an excuse for what had happened when I told her I knew; told her that I am a Watcher."

"And how did she react?"

Angel shrugged. "I think it surprised her. Overall, though, she took it really well."

"That's good. She understands why you are here and why you didn't tell her right away?"

"I guess so. Buffy wasn't upset by it. If anything, she was relieved and happy about it. She even invited me to finish up patrolling with her, and we swept the cemetery together."

Giles thought for a few moments. "If it were agreed upon by Buffy, would you mind patrolling with her nightly?"

Angel didn't need to think about it. 'Patrol with her every night? Can I possibly keep my feelings a secret?' "Of course. I want to learn as much as I can."

The older Watcher stood. "There she is now," he said, pointing to the table where Buffy threw her backpack.

"Perhaps now would be a good time to ask her."

It was quarter to three, and time for her second tutoring lesson of the day. Buffy was beginning to enjoy these lessons, if not for the knowledge then for the company. "Hi again," she said to Angel.

"Hi. Can Giles and I ask you something?"

Buffy glanced from one to the other. "Shoot."

"How would you feel if Angel were to patrol with you from now on? He needs to see how the Slayer operates on the battlefield," Giles said."

"Sure. I don't have a problem with it. Wanna meet me here at sunset? That's what time I usually start patrol."

"I'll be here," Angel agreed.

Giles clasped his hands behind his back. "Now that that's settled, I'll let you two get down to business."

********

6

At four-thirty, Buffy left the library. Her training session with Giles ended and she was supposed to meet Kevin in front of the school. She felt worn and ragged from the grueling training she'd endured. Giles decided to show off her skill to Angel, who'd watched with interest. It was a bit disconcerting at first, having him watch her every move. But knowing that it was necessary for his own training, Buffy began to feel more at ease.

She trudged her way through the halls on her way to the front entrance. Kevin waiting just outside the doors, standing in the sunlight. Buffy tapped him on the shoulder, causing the boy to jump. He sighed with relief upon seeing his girlfriend. "Hi. How was training?"

Buffy frowned. "Tiring. I think I could sleep for a week."

"Why don't we sit at one of the benches. Rest for your weary bones."

"My bones thank you."

They moved to a stone bench in the shade. Kevin placed his hand on Buffy's knee.

"So, tell me about this surprise for Prom. I'm dying to know."

Kevin grinned. "Well, it begins when the limo picks us up at four o'clock for dinner at Giorgio's."

"Sounds nice so far. What else?"

"After dinner we go to the school for the Prom. We do the dancing and mingling thing for a few hours, the limo takes us to L.A. where I booked us a room at the Marriot."

Buffy wasn't sure if she was hearing right. "What?"

"I checked it out already. It's a beautiful room. Amazing view of the city, king-sized bed, Jacuzzi, everything you could possibly imagine."

"Kevin, I don't understand. Why did you do that?"

He stared into her eyes. "Because I think it's time. We've been pretty serious for over a year now, Buffy. I really care about you, and we need to take our relationship to the next level. And Prom is the perfect time; it'll only add to the most romantic night of our lives."

Buffy bit her lip. "You mean..."

Kevin nodded, never breaking eye contact. "Yes. I'm ready."

She sat there, taking several breaths. She knew in her mind that she wasn't ready to take things that far with Kevin. And in her heart, she knew that he wasn't the one she wanted her first time to be with. It wasn't that she didn't care about him, but she didn't love him. Buffy always imagined making love for the first time with the man she loved. Kevin Matthews certainly was not him.

"I'm not."

"Not?" he repeated. "Buffy, this is such an important step. I want it to be with you."

Her lower lip quivered. "I don't."

"What do you mean you don't? Is there someone else?" he demanded, his anger near the boiling point.

"No. I just -- just don't love you. Not enough to make love to you. And I'm not ready. Not for that or for a commitment I might not be able to fulfill."

He slammed his fist on the stone bench. "That is such bullshit. You have to live for the moment and look toward the future. You're so stuck in the now that you can't see the future lying in front of you."

"Future!?" she cried. "I'm sorry that all I can see of my future is a foot-long stake and demons and vampires! And I'm really sorry if you cannot accept it." Buffy felt the tears stinging her eyes.

"I care about you so much, Buffy. And I want to be with you in every way possible."

"Do you love me?" Kevin didn't answer. "I didn't think so. Kevin, I care about you, too, but I don't love you. When I'm ready to make love to someone, I'm going to know it without having to think twice about it. It's gong to be with someone I love totally and completely, and who loves me the same way. You're not him."

He stared at her in rage. "You are a dreamer, Buffy. You think you're going to accomplish all that? Most people never do. But I wish you the best of luck in your hunt for your true love." Kevin got to his feet and began to walk of the school grounds. Twenty feet from where Buffy remained sitting, he turned to her. "If you die a virgin, like you probably will, the way you think, just remember that I wanted to, but you said no. And don't come crying to me when you change your mind. I won't be there. Good-bye, Buffy."

********

Angel waited for forty-five minutes in front of the school, and still Buffy hadn't shown up. He'd only known her for three days, but she seemed very punctual, not someone to flake out on a promise or a responsibility. Especially one as important as this one. "I'll give it ten minutes, then I'm going to go look for her. God, I hope nothing happened.'

The ten minutes passed slowly for him. He kept thinking of things that might have held Buffy up, but his thoughts kept wandering to the thought of her being hurt. It frightened him to think about it. "I better go look for her. I'm sure she just forgot.'

He took off, heading to the nearest cemetery. By the time he'd searched his third, Buffy was nowhere to be found. Giving up, Angel walked to his apartment.

On his way home, Angel passed Restfield Cemetery and saw two figures in the distance. Out of curiosity, he hopped the fence and checked to see what was going on. Seeing that it was Buffy, he stayed away, not wanting to catch her attention.

Buffy pounded mercilessly on the vampire, venting all of her anger and frustration onto it. She thought she had the upper hand until the vampire wielded a roundhouse kick that caught her off-guard.

"You're going to die tonight, Slayer," the vampire hissed.

**Die a virgin**

'No,' she thought. 'I am not going to die tonight.' The vampire kicked her again, this time successfully knocking her to the ground.

He laughed wickedly as he pounced down on her. Buffy started crying. Not from the fear of her death, but from Kevin's harsh words, and the fact that they might become a reality. The vampire laughed again. "Poor little Slayer's in tears. Any last wishes or requests?"

Buffy never saw Angel move behind her attacker. She fell unconscious when the vampire punched her. "Leave Buffy alone." Angel plunged the stake he carried into the vampire's back, piercing its heart. When the dust settled, he checked to see if Buffy was okay. She was still breathing, and her pulse was normal. Angel wrapped his duster around her and swept her up into his arms, carrying her the four blocks to his apartment.

********

Buffy groaned and began to stir twenty minutes after they arrived at his apartment. When she opened her eyes and surveyed her surroundings, she tensed up. Nothing looked familiar. 'What happened? Where am I?' She saw chairs, a television set and a desk but no people. 'Oh god...'

Angel walked out of the kitchen and found Buffy looking around nervously. "How are you feeling?"

She sighed in relief, knowing that she was safe if Angel was with her. "I've been better. Where are we?"

He placed a steaming cup of tea on the table in front of her. "My apartment. You were knocked unconscious by a vampire and I brought you here."

"You saved my life. He was going to kill me."

"He's dust now, don't worry about it. Buffy, you're safe here."

For seemingly no reason at all, Buffy burst into tears. Angel let her cry and handed her a napkin from the pile he'd brought into the room with him. She wiped her eyes with it. "I'm sorry. I'm having the worst day of my life."

He sat next to her on the couch. "Do you want to talk about it?"

"Do you think I am so horrible and ugly that nobody can ever love me?" she asked.

"Of course not. You're absolutely beautiful and I guarantee that someone loves you very much." It was the closest he could come to admitting his true feelings for her. "What would make you think that?"

Buffy sniffled. "Kevin. He...we...he broke up with me."

"Why would he do that? Doesn't he know how lucky he is?"

"It's personal."

"Oh." Angel didn't want to pry into her personal life. "I am really sorry. I wish I knew what to say."

Buffy wiped her eyes again. "Do you want to know what he did?" She didn't wait for a reply. "He rented a hotel room for us after the Prom. Kevin just expected me to sleep with him." She didn't know what it was about him, but Buffy felt like she could tell Angel anything.

"And you didn't want to?"

"I'm not ready; I don't love him. And I want to be in love when I make love to a man. It has to be right, it has to be with someone who loves me as much as I love him. Kevin isn't the one, and I told him that. Then he broke up with me."

Angel forced her to look into his eyes. "That's his loss then."

"He called me a dreamer and said I'd never find my true love; said I'd die a virgin."

Angel fought back the overwhelming urge to find Kevin Matthews and commit justifiable homicide. "He doesn't understand, apparently."

Buffy began crying, a fresh stream of tears falling out of her eyes. "He doesn't understand. He doesn't understand that I could die tomorrow. Kevin has his whole future planned out for the next fifty years. I don't know if I'm going to be alive in two weeks."

"You're the Slayer. Kevin obviously has no clue what it's like for you."

She buried her face in Angel's chest. "He doesn't understand. Nobody does."

Through her sobs, Buffy could have sworn she heard Angel whisper "I would understand."

********

7

The blankets covered Buffy up to her chin and when she woke up the next morning she felt safe and warm. But it wasn't her bed. Buffy sat up quickly, the blankets falling to her waist. Within seconds she remembered what had happened the night before. Angel had saved her from being killed, brought her to his apartment and listened to her cry about Kevin breaking up with her. ‘How did I end up in his bed?'

She climbed out of bed and stood in front of the mirror. ‘At least I still have my clothes on.' Opening the bedroom door, Buffy padded her way to the kitchen, following the smell of cooking bacon. Once she found the kitchen, she saw Angel standing in front of the stove. Smiling, she said, "Smells good."

Angel turned around. "Morning. How did you sleep?"

Buffy noticed for the first time that the man standing before her wore only a pair of black jeans. She smiled appreciatively, thinking about how accurate her dream the other night had been. ‘He really does have a nice body. My dreams are getting wicked accurate.' His perfectly coifed hair adorned his head in wet spikes. Droplets of water trickled from them. She needed to swallow. It wasn't until right then that Buffy realized just how handsome Angel truly was.

"I slept alright, considering. How did I get into your bed? Did we...?" Buffy was suddenly fearful, afraid that something happened and she had been too out of it to remember.

He shook his head. "No, I would never have let something like that happen with you being so upset like you were. I'm not one to take advantage of someone else's pain. Buffy, you fell asleep and I carried you to my room. I slept on the couch all night."

"Oh boy. Don't I feel embarrassed now," she admitted.

"Don't be. You jumped to an honest conclusion. Anyone could have done it. Would you like some breakfast?"

"Actually, would you mind if I took a shower first? I feel kind of gross in these clothes."

Angel saw the dried mud on her blouse from her fight with the vampire. "Feel free. You take a shower and I'll leave some clean clothes and towels in the bathroom for you. I can wash your dirty ones."

"Thank you. Now, which way is the bathroom?"

"Down the hall on the right."

Buffy left the room and closed the bathroom door behind her. Angel turned off the stove, went into his bedroom and proceeded to find suitable clothing for Buffy to wear for a few hours. He pulled out a white t-shirt and a pair of black boxer shorts. They might be a little big on her, but at least she'd be warm. On his way to the bathroom he grabbed two large towels. He waited in the hallway until he heard the shower run. Knocking on the door, he called, "Buffy?"

"Yeah?" she shouted.

"Can I come in? I have the towels and clothes for you."

"Sure, it's safe."

He slowly opened the door and stepped inside. Steam from the shower attacked him, and he coughed from the lack of oxygen.

"Are you okay?" Buffy asked from the shower.

"Sure. It's really hot in here."

"Sorry."

"I'll leave the stuff on the towel rack." Angel put the clean clothes down and picked up Buffy's dirty ones. "Buffy, I am leaving now."

"Okay." She heard the door shut. "What a gentleman," she said softly. "Why can't there be more men like him out there?"

Buffy washed herself, trying her best to forget everything Kevin said to her. His words were too harsh, though. ‘I will find my true love. He's out there somewhere, I know it.'

Five minutes later, she stepped out of the shower. She grabbed one of the fluffy white towels Angel left and wrapped her blonde hair in it. She dried herself off with the other one, then put on the t-shirt and boxers Angel chose for her. The t-shirt was long, falling mid-thigh and she had to hold the boxers to prevent them from falling down. Buffy towel-dried her hair and brushed it out with a comb that lay on the counter.

"Is your offer of breakfast still available?" she wanted to know when she returned to the kitchen. Angel sat at the table sipping a cup of coffee. Buffy was disappointed to see that he had put a shirt on.

"What would you like? I made pancakes, bacon and eggs. If you don't like any of it, I can make something else."

"No, it's fine."

Angel got up and fixed her a plate. "Um, maybe you should call your mother and let her know where you are."

Buffy put a forkful of food in her mouth. "She's in Chicago. I don't know when she'll be back."

He didn't want to bring up Kevin again, not wanting to hurt Buffy. "Did you have any plans for today?"

"I was supposed to go Prom dress shopping with Willow. Don't think that's going to happen."

"Why do you say that?"

Buffy frowned. "I'm probably not going to Prom anymore. Without a date, I can't."

"Of course you can. And besides, I am sure there are plenty of guys who'd love to escort you." ‘Including me.'

"Yeah right. I won't be able to get a date in time. Prom is less than three weeks away. Everyone will have a date already."

"You're a bright, beautiful girl, Buffy. You'll find a date. If not, go alone."

"Did you go to your Prom alone?" she asked. ‘Probably not. He had girls lining up to be his date, I bet.'

Angel took a sip of coffee. "I didn't go to my Prom."

"Why not?"

He shrugged. "I didn't understand the whole concept of it. Getting dressed up to go to a dance with the same people I'd seen every day for the past four years just didn't appeal to me."

"Do you ever regret not going?"

"Sometimes. But you can't miss out on this opportunity. Don't let what Kevin said and did to you stop you from having a good time."

The two of them sat in silence for several minutes. Neither could think of anything to say. Buffy polished off her breakfast while Angel slowly drank his coffee. He stared into his cup, seeing her image in his dark liquid.

"Do you think I'll find my true love before I die?" Buffy wanted Angel's opinion.

"If it's meant to be, it will happen," he answered truthfully. "You might already know him."

"I don't know. I always imagined knowing right away. Like I'd see him and it would be love at first sight. Do you believe in that?"

"Whole-heartedly. I know from experience."

Buffy doubted if it would ever happen to her. "Is that what happened when you saw that girl?"

"Yes. I took one look at her and know she was the one I want to spend the rest of my life with. Love is the most amazing feeling in the world, even when it's unrequited. She's my entire universe and she doesn't even know it."

"She's very lucky to have you love her like that. Are you going to tell her?"

"When the time is right. It would only hurt her now. She's going through a difficult time right now and I want to be there for her as a friend. I don't think she'd understand the depth of my feelings." He wondered if Buffy had any clue that it was she he spoke of.

She laughed. "I swear, you are like the perfect man."

"I'm hardly perfect," he told her.

"Nobody is. God knows I'm not. But you come pretty close. At least you didn't almost get yourself killed last night."

Angel put his cup and Buffy's plate in the dishwasher. "You were upset. It could have happened to anyone."

"It's not supposed to happen to the Slayer. Look, I want to apologize for being a complete basket case."

"You don't need to apologize. You had every reason in the world to cry. What he said to you was mean and totally unjustified. I'm not one to begrudge you from shedding a few tears over him."

"Thank you." She paused and took a deep breath. "Um...I feel kind of weird asking you this, and I know it's forward of me, so feel free to say no."

"You can ask me anything, Buffy."

"Do you think I can stay here this weekend? I don't think I can handle being alone right now, and Willow wouldn't understand."

He smiled softly. "Of course you can. For as long as you want. Now may I ask you a question with the same stipulations?"

"Go ahead."

"Unless you have other plans, would you like to go out for dinner? Just to get your mind off of things." Buffy grinned. "I'd love to." Dinner with Angel was exactly what she needed to get her mind off Kevin.

********

8

Willow gaped at Buffy when she heard what Kevin did. "I cannot believe he did that. What a jerk."

"Yeah, tell me about it."

"He always seemed so nice and normal. That's really scary."

"I know. Kevin never, not in the year we dated, pushed farther than I was ready to go. Then out of the blue he goes and does this. It's like he did a total one-eighty from the guy I knew."

Willow groaned. "I'm gonna kill him when I pass him in the hall on Monday. He's going to wish he never did that."

Buffy shook her head in response. "Don't, Will. I've decided it's not worth it."

"But, Buffy, that's a best friend's job. I want to do my job. Let me do my job."

"Don't bother. Really. Truth is, I'm not even that upset about the breakup itself. I think it had been coming for a while. What really bothers me is what he said. About me dying before I find my true love. I will find him, Will," swore Buffy.

"I know you will. How come you didn't tell me about this last night?" the redhead wanted to know.

Buffy bit her lip. "After it happened, I needed to vent. So I patrolled. What a big mistake that was. The patrolling, not what happened afterward."

Willow's eyes widened. "What happened after?"

"Do you promise not to tell? I don't want Giles finding out unless I tell him." Willow nodded, promising to keep her silence. "I had a run-in with a vampire and I almost died."

"Buffy! Were you hurt badly?"

"No. I was knocked unconscious. When I woke up, though, I thought I had been kidnapped. I didn't know where I was, nothing looked familiar."

"Where were you?"

"After I was knocked out, I guess Angel staked the vamp. He must have seen the fight. So he killed the vampire and took me back to his apartment. I woke up on the couch. I cried on his shoulder for hours probably and he let me sleep there."

"With him?"

Buffy sighed. "Not like that. I slept in his bedroom and he slept on the couch."

"Wow. What a gentleman," commented Willow.

"I know. Willow, he's so much more mature than any of the guys we go to school with. Angel actually listened to me cry about Kevin for I don't know how long. He made me feel so much better about this whole situation. I feel like his words have given me some confidence again. Hell, he even convinced me to go to Prom, if only by myself."

"You should go. Prove to Kevin that he didn't break your spirit. You'll have a great time. I know, ask Angel to be your date."

Buffy laughed. "Why would he want to go to the Prom with me? He told me this morning he doesn't understand why it's such a big deal, seeing the same people you see every day."

"But he doesn't see them every day. You do."

"I couldn't do that. Besides, he's probably sick of seeing me by now."

"Doubtful. I bet he'd look way cute in a tux."

"Stop giving me these mental pictures. I have to go out with him tonight, I cannot be imagining him in a tux," Buffy said.

Willow's jaw dropped. "You're going out with him tonight? This is getting serious."

"He's just taking pathetic little Buffy out for dinner. He feels bad. It's nothing to get all worked up about."

"I'm sure he doesn't think of you as pathetic. Maybe he likes you."

"Yeah right. Angel is intelligent and good-looking. What would he see in me?"

Willow saw Buffy's cheeks turn a pinkish-red. "That's it!"

"What's it?" Buffy had no idea what her best friend was talking about.

"You have a crush on him, don't you? That's why you weren't upset about breaking up with Kevin. Because you've got a crush on Angel."

"That is so absurd. He's my Watcher."

"No, he's *a* Watcher, not yours. Come on, admit it."

Buffy shook her head, smiling. "Okay, so maybe I do. Not like it makes a difference. He's still a Watcher, and besides, he's kind of attached."

"Kind of?" Willow repeated with a raised eyebrow.

"Not really attached, but he does like someone. More than like, actually. Said it was love at first sight, but she doesn't know it."

"Like that's gonna last. If Angel's so in love with her, how can this girl be so oblivious?"

"I don't know. She's lucky, whoever she is. He's a great guy and I know he'll make some girl happy," mused Buffy.

"And you wish it were you," added Willow.

"Isn't it a hope that every girl has at one point in her life? To have a man love you at first sight?" The Slayer had a faraway look on her face. "Maybe I do wish it were me. It's not, but I can wish, can't I?"

"Yeah, I guess. Come on, let's go Prom dress shopping." Willow and Buffy got up from the table in the middle of the food court and went off in the direction of the dress stores.

********

"You should get this dress for your date tonight," Cordelia said to Buffy, holding up a midnight blue sundress.

The two girls ran into Cordelia at one of the dress shops. The three of them then decided to look for their dresses together.

"It's not a date, Cordy. He's just taking me to dinner," Buffy told the brunette.

"Hot date tonight, Buffy? You certainly don't waste any time," someone said from behind them.

They all turned around, seeing Kevin standing a few feet away. "What business is it of yours? You dumped me, remember?" Buffy spat, bitterly.

"What are you doing here, Kevin? Shopping for dresses for your blow-up doll?" joked Cordelia, with a straight face.

"Who is he? Does he know ahead of time what's he's getting himself into?"

"Kevin, go away," warned Willow.

Buffy stood there, trying to keep her cool. Cordelia on the other hand, knowing exactly what he had done and being pissed off about it, didn't hold back. "None of your business. But I will say that he's higher up on the food chain than you. Rats are pretty close to the bottom."

"Like you're one to talk, Miss I'm-Dating-Xander-Harris." Kevin turned his attention back to his ex-girlfriend. "I figured you'd be at home whittling stakes or something. Not dress shopping."

"I'm not crying over you, Kevin. You're not worth it."

Cordelia couldn't resist one more jab at him. "Will your blow-up doll be accompanying you to Prom, Kevin? Or do you need to hire someone?"

"At least I can get a date. Buffy here is going alone I bet. If she goes at all," he laughed.

"What makes you think I'm going alone?" Now Buffy was getting mad.

"Without a date, why would you go?"

"She has a date!" Willow shouted.

Kevin looked at her. "Yeah right."

"I do," said Buffy.

"Who is it? Oh, and relatives don't count."

"I guess you'll just have to wait a couple of weeks and find out."

"This ought to be interesting," Kevin said before leaving.

They watched as he left. "Way to go, Buffy. You really stood up for yourself," Cordelia complimented.

"Yeah. But I have a bigger problem."

"What's that?" asked Willow.

"Finding a Prom date."

********

9

Buffy twirled around in front of the full length mirror in her bedroom. Cordelia convinced her to buy the sundress and a matching pair of shoes, and Buffy had to admit that she looked good. The dress fell two inches above her knees with spaghetti straps and a conservative neckline. Wherever Angel was taking her, she was ready.

She fixed her hair so that it was curled slightly to her shoulders. For some reason, whenever she saw her reflection, she giggled like a schoolgirl on her first date.

‘But this isn't a date. Angel just feels bad for me and is doing this to make me feel better,' she told herself.

As she put on the final touches of her make-up, the doorbell rang. It was six o'clock and Angel was right on time. Quickly giving herself the once-over, Buffy walked downstairs to open the door. What she found was not what she expected. Angel stood on the front porch in a pair of black trousers, black shoes and a dark blue shirt. In his hand he held a single red rose.

"Hi. Come on in," Buffy invited.

Angel gazed at the blonde beauty in front of him. He had never seen a true angel until he saw Buffy. She literally took his breath away. "You look wonderful" was all he could say.

"I bet you say that to all the broken-hearted girls you take out to dinner," she joked.

"No, just you."

"You're a great liar."

"I never lie." He handed her the rose. "A rose for the lady."

Buffy took it, bringing it to her nose. It smelled fragrant and sweet. "That's so thoughtful. Thank you. Would you like to have a seat while I finish getting ready?"

Angel sat down on the couch, looking at the framed photographs that adorned the end table. One was a family photo of Buffy and her parents when she was ten, another of Buffy, Xander and Willow standing in front of a tree at the park, and one of Buffy and Kevin at a school dance.

"All ready," Buffy informed him when she returned to the living room. "Hope you don't mind, I grabbed my pajamas and a change of clothes."

"Why would I mind?"

"Thought I'd at least let you know." The two of them walked out of the house, Buffy locking up while Angel carried her overnight bag. "Where are we going?"

Angel held the car door open for her. "I saw this little Italian place just outside of town. Would you like to go there?"

"Mmm...Italian is my favorite."

Twenty minutes later they were seated in a secluded booth in the restaurant, looking over the menu. Several waitresses passed their booth, all taking a look at Angel as they walked by. Buffy felt a wave of jealousy pass through her. She wanted to rip their eyes from their sockets and tell them that he was her date. ‘My date. Is that what this is? Cordy and Willow think so, but I don't know. Maybe. But Angel probably doesn't. Just doing his good deed for the day.'

A waitress, tall and brunette, stopped at their booth. She smiled at them, mostly at Angel, which did not go unnoticed by Buffy. "Hi, I'm Shannon and I will be your waitress. What can I bring you to drink?"

"Water, please," Buffy answered quickly.

"Make that two," Angel replied.

Shannon left to get the waters. "Everything looks good," commented Angel. "I'm having a hard time deciding. How about you?"

"Pasta Alfredo with chicken. Heart attack on a plate. If I'm going to die, I'm gonna go happy."

"Buffy, you're not going anywhere."

"Sure. Whatever." ‘Way to go, Buffy. Go into full brooding mode. What a way to make him think you're a total loser.'

Luckily, Shannon returned with the drinks. "Have you decided?" she asked.

"Buffy, you go first."

She sighed. "Pasta Alfredo with chicken and a caesar salad. Extra dressing."

"Great." Shannon wrote it down in her pad. "How about you, sir?"

Angel glanced over the menu swiftly. "I'll have the chicken parmesan and a cup of vegetable soup."

The waitress took the menus from them. "Thank you very much," she said, addressing it more to Angel than to Buffy.

"Are you aware that every girl walking by is checking you out?" Buffy asked.

He shrugged. "I haven't noticed anyone."

"Then you must be blind, because at least five girls have done it. Including our waitress."

"She's just friendly."

"Please. She didn't look at me once," Buffy informed him. "She's obviously single and on the prowl."

"Let her look all she wants." He was beginning to feel uncomfortable with the conversation. "Did you find a Prom dress yet?"

"Yeah. All three of us did. Willow and I ran into Cordelia at the mall." She neglected to mention their run-in with Kevin.

"I am sure you are going to look beautiful. The belle of the ball, etc."

‘Should I ask him? But what if he says no? Then I'll be utterly humiliated in the middle of the restaurant. No, not now. Maybe later.' "Okay, you are obviously seeing something I don't."

Their soup and salad were delivered, and the two of them began eating.

"Can I ask you a personal question?" Buffy asked between bites.

"Depends on the question. But sure."

"How old are you? I have a guess, but I'm curious."

"Twenty-seven last August. Was your guess right?"

"Pretty close."

They ate in silence until the main courses arrived. Buffy glared at Shannon for flirting with Angel. "Wow," Angel said, commenting on the portions. Once again, he didn't notice the waitress staring at him.

"I know. They're going to have to wheel me out of here."

During dinner, Angel asked about Buffy's friends. How they had met, what they do for fun and whether they knew about her being the Slayer. She told him all about Xander, Cordelia and Willow. Buffy dominated the conversation, telling Angel about her life in L.A. as a child and what it was like for her after she was called. "Anyone I considered a friend turned on me. It's made me see how true my friendship with Willow, Xander and Cordelia really is. They don't judge me."

When they finished dinner and exited the restaurant, Angel asked, "What would you like to do now? It's still early, maybe a sweep through the park.?"

Buffy shook her head. "No way. Saturday is my day off, Giles knows this. Do you mind if we just go back to your apartment? I'd kind of like to veg out."

"Sure. We can watch a movie or something."

********

"I can't believe you have HBO," Buffy said for the third time that night.

It was almost eleven and the two of them had just finished watching ‘Say Anything.' "Just because I'm a Watcher doesn't mean I'm ready for the nursing home yet. I'm still young."

‘Don't I know it.' "That was such a sweet movie. I swear, if some guy ever stood in my yard with a boombox blasting ‘In Your Eyes' I'd be his forever. Lloyd was so romantic."

Angel agreed. "That he was."

Buffy stood up to stretch. A photograph on a nearby table caught her eye, so she picked it up. "Is this you?" she wanted to know, sitting down once again.

"Yes."

"You were such a cute kid. Who's this with you? Your older sister?"

"No, my mother," he replied with a hint of sadness in his voice.

She took a long look at the young woman in the picture. "She's beautiful, Angel. She looks young."

"She was. When the picture was taken I was five and she was twenty."

"Oh my god. You mean she had you when she was fifteen?" This shocked Buffy.

He nodded. "And she died when I was six."

"What happened?"

"It's not a very pretty story, Buffy." ,P> "I think I can handle it. If you want to tell me."

He took a deep breath. "It was a demon. A particularly strong demon. He found her patrolling and killed her. Ripped out her inner organs and outlined her body with them."

She was horrified. "I'm so sorry." She paused. "Did you say patrol?"

"My mother was a Slayer."

"I didn't know."

"I didn't want to tell you right away. I've never told anyone. Her Watcher raised me, and from as far back as I can remember, it's all I wanted to do. Be a Watcher."

This intrigued Buffy. "Do you remember much about her?"

A solitary tear fell down Angel's cheek. He never spoke of his mother; it hurt too much. But he wanted to share his memories with Buffy. "I must have been four or five. She took me to this park and it had an old-fashioned carousel. My mother sat me on this white horse and watched me with the most amazing smile. I'll never forget it."

Buffy wiped the tears away with her fingers. Unconsciously, she moved her face closer to his, gently kissing his lips. They were warm and salty from the tears. Her right hand cupped the side of his face.

Her kiss surprised Angel. He did not know how to react, for it had been so unexpected. Her kisses were like heaven to him, and he never wanted to return to earth. Unsure at first, Angel soon gave in to his urges, responding to Buffy. His hands wound to her back, slowly moving up and down. He could feel her heart beating rapidly through her shirt. This kiss awakened feelings and desires Angel had never experienced.

When she felt his hands on her neck and in her hair, Buffy panicked. ‘What am I doing? What if he wants more?' She broke away from him, flushed and panting. It was the most intense moment of her life and it scared her. She looked into Angel's tear-filled brown eyes, not seeing the love that radiated from them. "I can't. I..." She jumped up and ran into his bedroom, slamming the door behind her.

Buffy threw herself on the bed, crying into his pillow. It smelled of a combination of his shampoo and aftershave. She inhaled it, but it only made her cry harder. ‘Why am I feeling like this?' A voice inside of her answered. ‘Because you love him.'

********

10

He stared after Buffy as she ran out of the room. ‘What happened? Did I scare her? What?' One second they were sharing a heated kiss, and the next thing he knew she was running away. Angel wanted to go after her, but decided to let her be. Maybe he'd pushed too hard or came on too strong. He didn't know and figured it would be better to apologize for whatever he did to upset her.

Angel walked over to the bedroom door, preparing to knock. Something made him stop just before his hand made contact with the wooden door. ‘No, she needs to be by herself. Buffy wouldn't have ran away if she wanted to be with me.'

So he turned out the lights and settled down on the couch. Sleep didn't seem to want to take him, which left Angel to contemplate what had happened.

He had never known that a simple kiss could be so intense, could stir such emotions. There was a spark that accompanied the touch of Buffy's lips. It made him feel more alive, as if her kiss restored the life he'd lost somewhere throughout his life.

He was unable to control himself. Suddenly, his heart had taken over control from his mind. Thinking rationally was no longer an option. While his mind told him to resist the urge to kiss her back, his heart shouted that he shouldn't deny himself the touch of the woman he loved. Angel's heart won out, forcing him to respond passionately to Buffy. And it cost him.

She rejected him, of that he was certain. He scared her away by coming on too strong. ‘She probably thinks I'm like every other guy; that I'll expect something from her. That kiss was much more than I ever expected.' Angel did want something: her love. He prayed to whatever god would listen that someday, Buffy would love him with the same intensity that he loved her.

********

The bright rays of the sun woke Buffy at dawn. She groaned, trying to blink away the light, but to no avail. The alarm clock next to the bed read six forty-three. Too early for her to get up on a Sunday morning.

For twenty minutes she lay there in an attempt to fall back to sleep. It didn't work, so she swung her legs over the side of the bed. She opened the door and peaked out in the living room. Angel lay on his left side on the couch, facing the hallway. Biting her lip softly, Buffy went back inside the bedroom to get dressed. She wanted to leave before he woke up. It would be too embarrassing and awkward if she were to stay. Running away and crying from their kiss was childish, and Buffy knew it. ‘What he must think of me now, kissing him like that. I was so caught up in the moment that I wasn't thinking about the consequences. I'm so stupid.'

In five minutes Buffy had her things ready. She quietly stepped through the hallway and into the living room. Stopping a few feet from the couch, Buffy looked at Angel. He was sleeping peacefully, making her smile that she hadn't woken him up. She suppressed the innate urge to bring her lips to his again, knowing it would be even more embarrassing. No, better to leave. Without saying anything, Buffy left the apartment and headed home.

When Angel awoke two hours later, he found his bedroom empty. ‘She left. Buffy didn't want to be near me. Dammit, how could I have been so stupid?'

********

"Come on, spill," Willow begged. "How did it go last night?"

Buffy, Willow and Cordelia sat on Buffy's bed. "Yeah. Did you ask him? What did he say?" Cordelia wanted to know.

"Dinner was nice. We went to a restaurant outside of town. And no, I didn't ask him," Buffy told them.

"Why not?" demanded the brunette.

Buffy frowned. "Things happened; I never got a chance."

"You were with Angel all night. How could you not have had a chance?"

"If I tell you, you have to promise not to tell anyone. Not Oz, not Xander and especially not Giles," Buffy said to her friends.

"Of course" and "Yeah" were their responses.

Buffy took a deep breath before beginning. "After dinner we went to his apartment and watched a movie. I saw a picture of him and his mother, and you know me, I'm always curious. Angel told me about her, how she died and stuff like that. She died when he was only six years old. Then he told me his most vivid memory of her. He started crying."

"He cried?" The idea of a grown man crying astounded Cordelia. She'd never seen it happen.

"I felt so bad. There he was, crying because I'm too nosy to mind my own business. I wanted to make him feel better. And the next thing I knew, I was kissing him."

"And?" Cordelia questioned.

"And...Angel started kissing me back. I got scared though. Like, what if he wanted more? He's in his twenties, and experienced. What would he think of me? God, what does he think of me now?"

Willow grabbed her best friend's hand. "I'm sure Angel doesn't think any less of you."

"Hey, Buffy, I have a question. What -- what was it like? The kiss, I mean," Cordelia wanted to know.

"Cordy!" hissed Willow.

"I wanna know."

"It's okay. It...it was amazing. I've kissed guys before, but never like that. I don't even now how to describe it. With Kevin, it was never about passion or intensity. But with Angel, my knees went weak and I couldn't even form a coherent thought. It seemed so automatic, so right. I didn't need to think about what I was doing, I just did it."

Willow's eyes were wide. "Wow. I've never been kissed like that."

"It scared me so much. I ran away."

"You did what?" screeched Cordelia.

"I ran into the bedroom and cried."

"Why didn't you stay? Talk to him?"

Buffy blinked hard. "Because if I stayed, I knew I'd kiss him again. So I left this morning without saying good-bye. He was still asleep on the couch when I left."

"What does he wear to bed?" asked Cordelia, with a sly smile.

"Cordelia!" Willow hissed again.

"Boxers, for your information. Guys, what am I going to do?"

"What do you want to do?" Willow asked.

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. My head says to stay away, he's older and my Watcher...sort of. But my heart says to go for it. That maybe it's worth the risk."

"Follow whichever is louder."

"That's real smart, Cordelia. What if she makes the wrong decision?"

"She won't know ‘til she tries," argued Cordelia.

"Buffy, you have to make your own decision."

She nodded. "I know that. But I don't know which to listen to. My heart or my head."

"Well, how do you feel about Angel?" asked Willow.

"It's weird. I've known him for less than a week, but...I think I love him," Buffy admitted.

"Go for it," advised Cordelia.

"If you love him, Buffy, what do you have to lose? He kissed you back, right?" Buffy nodded. "Then he obviously feels something for you. Run with it. See where it takes you," Willow told her.

"What if he looks at me and thinks I'm just some lovesick school girl?"

"If he's the one, he won't think that."

"The one? My true love?"

Willow smiled. "Have you thought about the possibility? If that kiss was as intense as you described it, maybe Angel is your true love."

"You lucked out, Buffy. They don't come much cuter than Angel," commented Cordelia.

"It's not about cute, Cordy. It's about love and being soulmates. I think he's the one. Angel is your true love."

"It'll never work. So what if I love him? He's in love with someone else, remember? True love or not, I can't take that risk. I have to forget him and move on," Buffy said, making up her mind. Whether her heart broke in the process or not.

********

11

Monday morning rolled round quickly. Both Buffy and Angel were nervous about seeing each other, given the events of Saturday night. They respectively decided not to say anything unless the other brought it up.

Buffy showed up for her tutoring session five minutes early, in hopes that Angel would bring it up. When she saw that he wasn't there waiting for her, she was slightly disappointed. "Hey, Giles. Where's Angel?" Her heart beat nervously in anticipation of seeing him.

"He is running an errand for me, so he might very well be a few minutes late," Giles answered. "Tell me, how was patrol on Friday night? Did you show Angel how it's done?"

She decided to be totally up-front with her Watcher. "He didn't need me to show him how it's done. He saved my ass in fact. If he hadn't shown up when he did, you might be out of a job."

"What do you mean, ‘shown up when he did'? Did he forget about meeting you?"

"No, he was here, but I wasn't."

"Buffy, you made a promise and I expected you to keep it. Breaking it almost got you killed, if I am understanding you correctly." Giles was none too pleased with Buffy.

"Look, I'm sorry. Buffy did a stupid thing. She did a lot of stupid things this weekend. But you know what? Something happened Friday and I went patrolling alone to think. I forgot about meeting Angel, but he found me and saved me."

Giles looked at her. "May I ask what it was that caused you to forget?" It wasn't like Buffy to be so irresponsible.

"Kevin broke up with me because he's a hormone-driven teenage boy," she said with a bitter edge to her voice.

"I didn't know, I'm sorry," apologized Giles.

"It's okay. He said some really nasty things that I'm not feeling up to repeating and he dumped me. I wanted to be by myself, so I went on patrol, completely forgetting that I promised you Angel could come with me."

"Why don't you move on to the part where you almost died," suggested her Watcher.

Buffy frowned. She knew she had to tell him, but feared his reaction. "In the cemetery I got into a fight with a vamp. He got the upper hand and knocked me unconscious. I don't remember what happened after that. When I woke up, I didn't know where I was."

"Where were you?"

"Angel had found me, staked the vampire and brought me back to his apartment."

"Really," he commented. This did not sit well with him. Angel should have taken her to the hospital or home, not his apartment.

"Yeah. He told me what happened and listened to me cry all night about Kevin." She thought back to how easy it was to talk to Angel that night. Before things became complicated by their kiss.

Giles narrowed his eyes slightly. "You spent the night with Angel."

"God, not like that. Everyone makes it sound so sordid. Nothing happened. Me on the bed, him on the couch. Get your mind out of the gutter."

"Did you patrol with him at all this weekend?"

Buffy shook her head. "No. Saturday night we went out and Sunday I stayed in. Why, did you want me to patrol?"

"We? As in you and Angel?"

"Uh-huh."

Just then, Angel burst into the Library carrying several books. He stopped almost dead in his tracks when he saw Buffy. He tried to make eye contact with her, but she stared at her hands instead. Giles felt the uneasiness between the two, and planned on getting to the bottom of it.

"Here are the books you wanted, Giles," Angel said, handing the books to the elder Watcher.

"Thank you." He took the books and walked into his office. He made a mental note to keep an eye on Buffy and Angel.

"Hi, Buffy," Angel greeted her. He was unsure of what to say.

"Hi," she repeated. The awkward feeling from that weekend had returned.

Angel figured she wasn't about to bring up Saturday night, seeing as she hadn't even looked at him since he walked in.

"Do you want me to go over any more about the Cold War?" ‘Better to get right down to business.'

"I'm pretty sure I understand it. We can move on to something else."

Angel sat down at the table and Buffy chose the seat across from him. ‘I really did scare her,' he thought. ‘She doesn't even want to sit next to me.' "Why don't we go over the Kennedy administration then."

Buffy listened as he talked about Camelot and how America changed in the three years John F. Kennedy was President. Her mind wasn't on his words, though. ‘It didn't mean anything to him, just another kiss. I am so dumb for thinking it meant anything. Probably had a good laugh over how he got the Slayer to fall for him.'

She nodded her head once in a while, pretending she was actually paying attention to his words, when in fact she wasn't. No, Buffy kept watching his lips move, remembering how warm they were when they kissed. And she wanted so badly to silence him with another one to see if it would feel the same. But she pushed those thoughts away.

"Do you have any questions?" asked Angel when their time was up.

‘Yeah, I do. Were you as affected by our kiss as I was? Will you do it again so I can feel that way once more? Do you love me? Because I love you.' She shook her head. "Nope. Nothing I can think of."

********

"Angel, may I see you in my office please," requested Giles after Buffy's training.

"Sure." They walked into Giles' office. Angel didn't bother to close the door behind him; the library was empty.

"What is it, Giles?"

"Buffy informed me of what happened Friday night. Is it true that she had a near-fatal run-in with a vampire?"

Angel didn't see where it was going. If Buffy told him, why did Giles need to ask him? "Yes. When she didn't show up to meet me, I went looking for her. I was on my way home and I saw her fighting a vamp. He was about to kill her when I staked him." He shuddered involuntarily at the thought of almost losing Buffy.

"And Buffy was unconscious?" Angel nodded. "Where did you take her?" Giles already knew the answer, but wanted to hear it from the young Watcher himself.

"To my apartment."

"Why didn't you take her to a hospital?" demanded Giles.

He shrugged. "I don't know exactly. My apartment was closer."

"Did you ever stop to think that perhaps she was seriously injured? A concussion or a coma, maybe?"

"Buffy woke up twenty minutes later. She's perfectly fine."

"It didn't occur to you that Buffy could have died from her injuries, did it?"

"No," answered Angel. "Look, I made a mistake. I'm sorry, but I can't change what I did. And I'd do it again."

Giles glared at Angel. "She also told me that she spent the night there, too."

"She was upset, fell asleep on the couch. I didn't have the heart to wake her up, so I let her sleep in my bedroom."

"And you went out with her on Saturday night. Am I right again?"

"Yes."

The Watcher nodded. "Did anything happen between you two?"

"I don't know what you are talking about."

"Don't play coy now. I saw the way you looked at her and how Buffy wouldn't look at you. It's apparent that something is going on."

Angel looked away. He hated being forced into admitting what happened between them. "We kissed. But that's all. I...it...she ran away from me. I think I scared her."

Giles noted the look of hurt in Angel's eyes. "You care about her, don't you? No, let me rephrase that. You love Buffy, don't you?"

"Are you insinuating that I'm too blinded by love to do my job? Then fine, I'll admit it. I'm in love with Buffy. I have been since I first saw her. You know, I never expected to, either. But I saw her and I just knew she was the one.

"And you don't have to tell me how wrong it is, because I know. It hurts to know how much I love her and that I can never be with her."

"The Council will frown on this, should I tell them," informed Giles.

"A Slayer is supposed to be distanced from her Watcher, I get it. But you can't tell me that you don't care about Buffy. You do. She's like a daughter to you, anyone can see that." Angel took a breath. "I don't care if you tell the Watcher's Council. It's not going to change the way I feel. I love her, and I will continue to do so whether the Council approves or not."

********

Willow placed the books she borrowed on the library counter. She intended on saying hello to Giles until she heard voices coming from his office. She recognized them as belonging to Giles and Angel.

"You love Buffy, don't you?" she heard Giles ask.

A few seconds later, Angel replied. "Are you insinuating that I'm too blinded by love to do my job? Then fine, I'll admit it. I'm in love with Buffy. I have been since I first saw her..."

The redhead stood in utter shock. ‘Angel's in love with Buffy. She's the one he told her about. But, should I tell her?' Deciding, after a great deal of thinking, that it wasn't her place. If they were meant to be, they'll find their way to each other. ‘That doesn't mean I can't give them a push in the right direction.'

********

12

Two and a half weeks seemingly flew by. The awkwardness between Buffy and Angel remained, because neither of them wanted to bring up the kiss. When they spoke it was about either history or slaying. Never did they talk about personal business.

The Prom. Sunnydale High had been bustling about it, particularly Willow, Xander and Cordelia; it was all they could talk about. Buffy, on the other hand, had come to think of it as a chore. No longer did she look forward to it. Prom became something she came to dread, yet she was still planning to attend. It was a chore now, something she had to do, like slaying.

"Earth to Buffy," Xander said.

Buffy, who had been staring at her plate and pushing around the mashed potatoes with her fork, blinked. "Huh?"

"Where were you?" he wanted to know.

"Just spacing. What did you want? I didn't hear you."

"What time are you going to be here tonight?" he asked.

She shrugged her shoulders. "Seven, seven-thirty. God, I don't even want to go."

"Because of Kevin? Don't let him stop you from having fun. It's party time."

"Yeah, I know. But I'm going to make a fool out of myself. I...I sort of told him I had a date. Which I don't. Hence, Buffy the Fool."

"Lots of people are going stag."

"And I hadn't planned on being one of them," Buffy replied miserably. "I just wish I had a date, that's all. Look, I'm really depressing you, so I'm gonna go." Buffy stood up, walking out of the cafeteria.

Willow approached Xander, who sat at the table by himself. "What's wrong? Where did Buffy go?"

"She took off. I think she's upset about not having a date for the Prom tonight."

She shook her head. "This is all Kevin's fault. If he hadn't been such a jerk, Buffy wouldn't be so upset right now. Ugh!"

"Yeah, tell me about it. If I only there were something we could do to help her," mused Xander.

A lightbulb went off in Willow's head. "That's it, I got it."

"Got what?" Xander didn't know what his friend was talking about.

"A way to make Buffy happy. I know just how to do it. Bye." Willow took off.

********

Angel walked through the halls. Classes were over for the day and the halls were virtually empty, due to the Prom that evening. He thought he was alone until a hand tapped his shoulder. Whirling around, he found himself looking at Willow.

"Willow. What are you doing here? Shouldn't you be getting ready for Prom?"

"I will be. Actually, I'm here to see you."

Angel tilted his head. "Me? Why?"

"I need your help. With Buffy."

"Willow, I think I'm the last person you should be asking for help. Especially where Buffy is concerned. She and I haven't--"

"Angel, I know," Willow said.

"Know what?"

Willow hesitated for five seconds. "About the kiss. Buffy told me."

"I scared her away."

She shook her head in disagreement. "No you didn't. You didn't scare her away, she was afraid you'd want more than she was ready to give. After what happened with Kevin, she's a little leery."

"I wouldn't hurt her."

"I know that. You love Buffy."

"What? Where did you hear that?" He didn't know where, or from whom, Willow had heard it. Except from Giles.

"From you. I heard you talking to Giles a couple of weeks ago. I wasn't eavesdropping or anything, I kind of overheard."

Panic gripped him. "Buffy. Does she know? Did you tell her?"

"No, I didn't. It wasn't my place to tell her. But I need your help with her. Tonight's the Prom, and Buffy doesn't have a date."

"I still don't know how I can help you. Things have been awkward between us."

"I know that. But she wanted to ask you, Angel. She told me; she said she was going to ask you, but then everything happened. And now Buffy's going to the Prom alone and she's miserable," explained Willow.

"What could I possibly do?"

"Do you want Buffy to be happy?"

"Of course I do."

Willow raised her eyebrows. "Then do what I tell you. If you love Buffy, you'll do it."

********

"You're a vision," Mrs. Summers complimented when Buffy strolled down the stairs in her Prom dress.

Buffy smirked. "You're my mother. You have to say that."

"It's the truth, honey. Your dress is beautiful. You are beautiful."

She glanced at her reflection in the hallway mirror, not recognizing the girl looking back at her. Her dress, blood-red, cascaded to the floor, held up by two thin straps. The neckline was lower than Mrs. Summers would have liked, but Buffy pulled it off, making the plunging neckline sophisticated. With matching red heels, a red bag and her blonde hair in curls framing her face, Buffy was ready to go.

"Do you have your bag?" her mother asked.

Buffy nodded. "Yes, Mom. I'm staying at Xander's tonight, you have the number."

"My baby's going to her Senior Prom. I can't believe it."

"Yeah yeah."

"Buffy, you are going to have so much fun," promised Mrs. Summers.

She snorted. "Sure I will. All by myself."

"You won't need a date to have fun."

"I wish I had one, though." ‘I wish I'd asked Angel before this whole fiasco started.' "All of my friends will be dancing and having a grand old time while Buffy sits at her table all alone, shoving appetizers into her throat. Yeah, big fun."

Mrs. Summers smiled. "Maybe you'll surprise yourself. Come on, I want to take some pictures before you go."

********

The inside of the gymnasium had been transformed into a grand ballroom. Streamers, strobe lights and a large disco ball added to the festive ambiance. Buffy couldn't believe her eyes. It was like she'd entered another reality.

"Buffy!" called Willow.

She made her way over to Willow and Oz. "Hi, guys. You look great." Buffy admired the simple blue dress her best friend had purchased during their shopping excursion.

"So do you." She gave Buffy a hug. "How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess. Dateless, but otherwise fine. Are you two having fun yet?"

"Yeah, so far," began Oz. "Prom is surprisingly affecting. I might get choked up. But that's to be seen."

Buffy laughed. "I'm going to say hi to Cordy and Xander."

She had seen them on the other side of the gym and walked toward them. On her way, though, someone stepped directly in her path. Kevin.

"Hello, Buffy," he said.

"Hi. Excuse me, but you are in my way."

He smiled slyly. "Where were you headed?"

"I see Xander and Cordy. Do you mind?" Buffy was really not in the mood to deal with her ex-boyfriend.

"Actually, I do. See, I want to meet your date. Exactly where is he, Buffy?" Kevin questioned.

"Go away, Kevin. I don't want to hear it."

The boy chuckled. "I knew you didn't have one. See, if you'd gone with me, we could be out there dancing right now. But you had to go and be all pristine. Buffy the Pure."

Buffy resisted the urge to slap him. "Pardon me if I don't want to sleep with you. I'm sure you can find any cheap slut on a street corner willing to do that. Go find one and leave me alone."

"You bitter bitch. No wonder you couldn't get a date," Kevin shot.

She was about to explode when she felt an arm moving around her waist. Familiar brown eyes stared into her green ones.

"Sorry I'm late, Buffy," Angel said.

"A-Angel?" she stuttered.

"An emergency came up, I'm sorry if you thought I stood you up." Angel glared at Kevin. "Kevin. I believe Buffy told you to leave her alone."

Seeing the menacing look in the older man's eyes, Kevin gulped. "Fine. See you around." He took off in the opposite direction from where Buffy and Angel faced.

Angel grasped Buffy's hand, sliding a red rose corsage onto her wrist. "May I have the pleasure of a dance?" He offered his hand.

"You certainly may."

********

13

Angel guided her to the dance floor, her hand in his. He clutched it as if he'd never let her go, which he didn't want to. A slow song began when they found an empty space among the other dancing students.

Every road leads to your door, every step I take forevermore.\\

"Angel, why did you come? I thought you didn't get the whole Prom thing." His presence sent chills down her spine.

"Willow asked me to come. She told me about your encounter at the mall with Kevin and how you told him that you had a date. She wants you to be happy, Buffy; didn't want you to be alone for your Prom. So she asked me this afternoon if I would come."

"And you did? Just for me?"

"She also mentioned that you were going to ask me."

Buffy groaned. "I'm going to kill her," she threatened.

"Willow only wants what's best for you. It's flattering to think you wanted to go with me. Had you asked, I would have said yes."

I can't go on if I'm on my own.\\

"You would have? God, what an idiot I am."

Angel placed his hand under her chin, lifting her head so he could gaze into her green eyes. "Why?"

"Because I messed everything up. I never should have done what I did. I'm sorry."

"You have nothing to apologize for. Buffy, I had no right to presume I could touch you like that. It was wrong of me, I should have known better. I hope you can forgive me."

‘He's apologizing to me? Why? I started it; I kissed him and he kissed me back. Angel didn't do anything wrong.' Buffy was unable to find the right words to say this to him. She grinned up at him, letting her feelings be known through a simple gesture.

Never had she felt so sure that the kiss was not a mistake. She no longer regretted it, and took comfort in being near him. Buffy brought her head to his chest, resting it comfortably above his rapidly beating heart. Her arms wrapped tightly around Angel, and he did the same to her.

I'm close to you that I wanna be.\\

He never imagined he would ever be so close to Buffy again. ‘I don't deserve this,' he thought. He had made a mistake in overstepping his bounds as Watcher and let his feelings take control when they kissed. Angel believed he'd ruined any chances of gaining her love, but now he wasn't so sure. Buffy had forgiven him for his lack of judgement, and his hope returned.

Nothing had ever felt so right as holding Buffy in his arms did. He held her close, pressing her to him. He wanted so much to tell her he loved her, and then show her exactly how much. But he couldn't do that; no, not unless she felt the same way. Instead of giving in and kissing her on the lips like he wanted to do, Angel pressed his lips to her hair, gently kissing her head, where she probably wouldn't notice.

Buffy did notice, though. She sighed softly when his lips made contact with her. ‘This is perfect. I'm dancing with Angel and he kissed me. I'm in his arms. But I can't even tell him how I feel. He would think I am too young to know what real love is. I do know. And he's it. Him. My true love. Here I am, in the arms of my true love and I can't even say anything.'

‘I love you,' they both said silently, as the dance continued.

I can't go on if I'm on my own.\\

"Look at them," observed Willow. She watched Buffy and Angel slow dance from across the room. "It worked."

"Your plan? Did you ever doubt it would, Will?" asked Oz.

She shook her head. "Not at all. They are so in love with each other, but they are too stubborn to say anything. All they needed was a push in the right direction."

"And you gave it to them. Always a matchmaker."

"They are so right for each other." They saw Angel kiss the top of Buffy's head. "See what I mean? Look at him. You can't tell me his body language doesn't just scream ‘I love Buffy.'"

"Don't you think if they love each other they will get together eventually?" Oz adored his girlfriend's mechanisms.

"Oz, they are so thick-headed. Buffy and Angel needed my help. I want Buffy to be happy. And I know that Angel will make her happy. I just know it."

"But you can't force them to become a couple. Doesn't that require communication and kissing?"

Willow nodded and smiled. "That's where Xander comes in."

Now you're all that I know.\\

"Buffy?"

"Yes?"

"There's something I want to tell you."

Angel felt the moment was right. Even if she rejected him, at least he told her. He doubted she felt the same way, but he was getting sick of keeping the truth from her.

Buffy looked up at him. "What?"

"I--" he started. Then, Angel lost his nerve. No, he wouldn't be able to handle her rejection. Buffy meant the world to him, and without her he didn't know if he could go on. "You look lovely. You are truly the most beautiful girl here."

Buffy blushed. "Thank you." Coming from him, Buffy believed it. "You look pretty good yourself."

‘Who am I kidding,' Buffy asked herself. ‘He's the most gorgeous man alive. And I'm here with him. How did I ever get so lucky?' Her head kept telling her something different. ‘You aren't that lucky. Angel's in love with someone. And it's not you.'

Stay around, and never be alone...\\

The song ended, but Buffy and Angel continued to hold each other. Neither wanted the moment to end. It had to, an up tempo song began playing. They broke their embrace, and Buffy was worried he would leave.

"Are you leaving now?"

"Do you want me to leave?" he asked.

"No!" she shouted. "I mean, I thought you came just to show Kevin I have a date."

"Well, at first that's why I came. But, I'd kind of like to stay, if you don't mind."

‘Mind? Hell no!' "You actually want to stay and be my..."

"Date. I would very much like to be your Prom date, Buffy."

Buffy smiled. "So would I."

********

"Did you guys go get pictures taken?" Willow wanted to know when Buffy and Angel made their way over a half-hour later.

"Yeah. We decided to get some so we'd have something to remember this night by," replied Buffy, who smiled at Angel.

"I never went to my Prom, this is the closest thing I've ever come. I don't want to forget it."

Willow grinned at him. "Are you having a good time?"

He nodded. "Thank you for convincing me to come, Willow. I'm having a great time." ‘I could be anywhere with Buffy and have a great time.'

"Good. Are you going to Xander's house tonight?"

"Xander's?"

Buffy grabbed Angel's arm. "Oh yeah! Xander is having a post-Prom party/sleepover thing. Would you like to come with me?"

"I don't want to intrude or anything," Angel said.

"Not at all. You're my date, you wouldn't be intruding. Please come." Buffy really wanted Angel to go to the party with her, which would require him to spend the night with her. Again.

"Only if you're sure."

"Of course I'm sure. The more the merrier. We'll have a great time, and I know Xander won't mind if you come." Buffy glanced at Willow.

"He won't. I'll go tell him right now." As Willow took off to find Xander yet again, she thought, ‘My plan is working perfectly. By tomorrow at this time, Buffy and Angel will be a couple.'

********

14

Prom continued for another four hours. Buffy had never had so much fun as she had that night. Being there with Angel made it even better. They weren't apart for more than five minutes at a time, dancing, laughing and simply enjoying each other's company. Throughout the night, Buffy caught sight of several of her female classmates eyeing Angel, but she paid no mind. He was with her, nobody else.

"This is going to work out perfectly," Willow said. "Xander, you know what to do, right?"

He nodded. "Yep. I still don't see why we can't let nature take its course."

"Like I told Oz, those two are way too stubborn. They need a push, and we are going to give it to them."

"Fine. But if it backfires, I had nothing to do with it."

"It won't backfire. I promise."

********

"You don't have to come if you don't want to," Buffy told Angel when they were walking to his car.

"If you don't want me to, I won't." Angel wasn't sure if she really wanted him there or if she was being nice and felt guilty.

"I would like it if you came, but if you feel uncomfortable..."

Angel smiled at her. "No, if you want me there, I'll go. Besides, it's not like I won't know anyone. I'm sure I will have a good time."

"Okay."

On the drive to Xander's house, Buffy stared at the road ahead of them, glancing at Angel out of the corner of her eye. His hair blew in the wind from his convertible. She bit her lip and looked at the road, trying to keep her mind off of how much she wanted to touch him.

Ten minutes later they stood on Xander's front porch, waiting for him to answer the door. "Hey there, you two," Xander greeted, opening the door.

"Hi. Are you going to let us in or are you going to have the party out here?" asked Buffy.

"Sorry, Buff. Come on in."

Buffy and Angel walked through the door. They were the last to arrive; Cordelia, Willow and Oz sat on the floor in the living room, watching television in their pajamas. Buffy asked Xander, "Where can we change?"

"My bedroom or the bathroom. Take your pick."

"Which do you want?" she asked Angel.

"I don't have a change of clothes," he told her.

Xander laughed. "You can borrow something of mine. They should fit."

"I guess I'll take the bathroom then," Buffy said. As she headed to the bathroom, Xander led Angel to his bedroom.

In the bathroom, Buffy changed out of her Prom dress and into a gray t-shirt and flannel pants. She wiped all of the make-up off her face, thinking about how great the night had been.

‘Would I have had as good a time with Kevin? Would we be in L.A. right now, at the hotel? God, why do I even care? Stop thinking about what might have been. I'm here with Angel and I had a great time with him. Kevin doesn't matter anymore; I don't love him. He never made me feel the way Angel does.'

She returned to the living room, stifling a laugh when she saw Angel. Xander dressed him in a light blue Hawaiian shirt and black boxer shorts.

"What are you wearing?" she asked with a giggle.

Angel shrugged. "Everything else was too small."

"Yeah, well, Xander's kind of scrawny." ‘And you are so big. Muscles...lots of them.'

"Hey!" complained Xander.

Cordelia stood up. "This sucks. There's nothing good on T.V.. I'm bored."

"We can always play a game," Willow said, winking at Xander.

"Let's play Truth or Dare," he suggested.

"Truth or Dare? Please, how juvenile," Cordelia commented.

Xander looked at Buffy and Angel. "Come on, guys. You two are the deciding vote."

"What about Oz?" Buffy asked.

"I go with Willow. She wants to play, so do I."

"Sure, count me in," the blonde Slayer replied. "Angel?"

He was a little wary at first, but if Buffy was going to play, he'd do it too. "Yeah. I haven't played in a long time, though."

"Great. Everybody sit in a circle," ordered Xander. The group did as they were told. "Remember, no changing your mind. Once you agree to truth or dare, you have to do it."

"Who goes first?" Oz asked.

"I'll start. Xander, truth or dare?" questioned Willow.

"Truth."

"How do you feel about Cordy?"

"She's my girlfriend. I care about her. More than I'd like to, sometimes."

"I believe you." Willow saw Cordelia grin at Xander's answer. "Your turn."

He scanned the group. "Buffy, truth or dare?"

She scrunched her nose. "Truth."

"Do you miss Kevin?"

"Not for a second," she replied without hesitation. "Cordy, truth or dare?"

Angel watched with interest as everybody answered their questions honestly.

None of them took a dare. He had to answer a few simple questions, like where he was born and how old her way. As time went on, the questions became increasingly personal.

"Angel, truth or dare?" Willow wanted to know.

He thought for a second. "Truth."

"Have you ever been in love?"

The question took him by surprise. But Willow knew the answer to it. "Not until recently."

Willow grinned. ‘Maybe he'll admit it.' "Anyone we know?"

"I don't know."

"Okay, your turn."

"Oz, truth or dare?"

Twenty minutes went by. Cordelia became antsy. "I'm getting bored again."

"Fine. One more question." It was Xander's turn. "Truth or dare, Angel?"

He took a deep breath. "Dare."

Xander and Willow exchanged a look. "Okay. You can't go back. You have to do what I tell you."

"I know the rules."

"Alright. I dare you to kiss Buffy."

Angel and Buffy looked at each other. Both of their hearts beat uncontrollably, their hands becoming hot and sweaty.

"And no cheek kissing. Full on the mouth," Xander said.

They stood up, gazing for a few moments at one another. Their faces moved closer, and they instinctively closed their eyes as their lips touched. They each expected the kiss to last only a few seconds. Angel started to break away but Buffy wouldn't let him. She kept her lips on his, not letting him leave. She had been waiting for this opportunity for weeks, and wasn't about to let it pass her by.

Both were breathless when they pulled away. Their cheeks were flushed and lips red from the kiss. "Well," Cordelia started. "That covers that."

"Perfect ending, wouldn't you say?" Willow commented.

Buffy glared at her best friend. She pulled her aside. "This was all a big set-up, wasn't it? You know I have feelings for Angel."

"Buffy, I thought it was a push in the right direction."

"It was wrong, Willow. He doesn't feel the same way."

"I don't know. Looked like he was enjoying it to me."

"Just stay out of it. Please. You're pushing this and doing the whole matchmaker thing is only going to hurt me more. I'm just gonna get my heart broken. You can't force something that isn't there," Buffy pleaded.

‘If only you knew the truth,' thought the redhead. "Sorry. I won't push anymore."

They all decided to get some sleep. It had been a long, busy day for all of them, and they were dead tired.

"Where are we all sleeping?" Oz wanted to know.

"Mom and Dad are out of town, so that leaves the three bedrooms open. Cordy and I will take my room, Willow and Oz in my parents' room, and Buffy and Angel can have the guest room."

Buffy groaned. Not about having to share a room with Angel, but because her friend had obviously been planning this. Xander showed everyone to their respective bedrooms. Upon closing the door, Buffy and Angel looked at the bed.

"You take the bed. I'll sleep downstairs on the couch," offered Angel.

She vigorously shook her head. "No. You can stay here. I'm not going to make you sleep on the couch."

"Then I'll sleep on the floor."

"Angel, you think I'd actually let you sleep on the floor? Nuh-huh. We can share the bed, it's pretty big."

"Are you sure about this, Buffy? If this is uncomfortable at all..."

"It's not." Buffy climbed under the covers of the bed. She waited for Angel to join her on the other side. Laying her head on the pillow, she closed her eyes. She opened them slightly, watching Angel as he removed Xander's shirt. She metaphorically drooled at the sight of his well-defined, muscular chest. He shut off the bedside lamp and laid on top of the covers. Buffy didn't question it, figuring Angel was keeping minimum safe distance.

His nearness made her shiver. She'd never felt so cold, despite the three blankets covering her. Trying to warm up, Buffy shifted her position.

"Are you okay, Buffy?"

"Yeah."

"Cold?"

She nodded. "A little."

"If you want, I can move closer. More body heat might warm you up. Would you mind if I do that?" Angel asked.

Once again, Buffy nodded. The bed shifted next to her, and she thought, ‘He's getting under the covers. Oh boy.' Without warning, he embraced her, pulling her into his arms and closer to him. Buffy's back was pressed against his chest, and she sighed. She felt warm and safe, and immediately fell asleep, lulled by the sound of his beating heart. "Good night, Buffy," Angel whispered in her ear.

********

15

She had never slept so soundly. Maybe it was Angel's arms around her, or the near-perfect evening she just had, but Buffy slept like a rock. And she had a wonderful dream on top of it all. She and Angel were walking hand-in-hand through the courtyard of Sunnydale High. They talked and smiled at each other, kissing every couple minutes. Kevin saw them and strolled over, calling Angel a cradle-robber, and asking why he had to steal his girlfriend. Buffy told Kevin that Angel didn't steal her away from him. When Kevin said to stay out of it, Angel ordered the boy to leave Buffy alone. But the boy was stubborn, and shoved Angel, who shoved him back. The push knocked Kevin into a puddle of mud. Everybody around them started laughing at him, making pig noises.

"Guess you really are a pig, Kevin. And now everybody knows it," taunted Buffy.

She woke up, laying on her left side, still locked in Angel's embrace. Buffy sighed, not wanting this seemingly perfect moment to end. She brought her hand up to his arm.

"Morning," Angel said.

Buffy turned her head. Angel lay on his side as well, his eyes open and aware. He'd been awake for some time. "Morning to you, too."

"How'd you sleep?"

"Like I hadn't in weeks. You?"

"Never better." It wasn't a lie. With his angel in his arms, Angel had slept better than ever before.

Buffy yawned. "What time is it?"

"Almost ten. Xander is out getting coffee and doughnuts. He left about half an hour ago."

"Why didn't you wake me up?"

"You looked so peaceful. I couldn't bring myself to disturb you," he admitted. Angel unwrapped his arms from Buffy's thin form, sitting up in bed. "Hope you aren't mad."

Buffy watched as the blankets fell to his hips. ‘He's only wearing Xander's shorts! Oh God, keep cool. And don't stare!' "Not at all. I need all the beauty rest I can get."

"That's not true. You are already beautiful."

"Thank you," she said shyly. "For everything. Last night meant a lot to me, you showing up and saving me from utter humiliation. And for coming to the party and putting up with Xander's cruel idea of fun."

He placed his hand on her upper arm. "I had a great time. I'd do it again just to see you this happy."

"For me?"

"In a heartbeat."

‘Why can't I tell him how I feel? That the kiss last night was the best I ever had. And that falling asleep in his arms felt like home to me. That I want to feel that way every day for the rest of my life.' "I guess we should get up now," Buffy said.

He nodded. "Yeah, we probably should." They both climbed out of bed. "You take the bathroom first. I'll wait until you're done."

"Angel, you don't have to do that. I don't mind waiting."

"Ladies first. I insist."

Angel walked downstairs, finding only Cordelia sitting at the kitchen table. "Hello, Cordelia," he greeted.

The girl looked up from the newspaper article she was reading. "Good morning," she replied, emphasizing the word "good." He had not bothered to put Xander's shirt back on. ‘No wonder Buffy's got it bad for this guy. Hello, like total Greek god. How lucky is she?'

"Is anyone else up yet?"

She shook her head. "Just you, me and Xander. Where's Buffy?"

"In the bathroom, we just woke up."

"Late night?" she implied.

"Not in the sense you mean, Cordelia. I'm not dumb, I know what you're implying. Nothing happened."

"Sure. Like that kiss meant nothing to you two."

Angel eyed her. "It was just a kiss. A dare."

"Uh-huh. You think what you want to, Angel. But I know better."

********

"Thanks for driving me home," Buffy said when Angel dropped her off.

"You're welcome. It wouldn't be right to make you walk. Here, let me carry your bag." Angel took Buffy's overnight bag as they walked to her front porch.

Buffy smiled at him. "I know I must sound like a broken record, but thank you again. Prom would have been a total disaster otherwise."

"No, thank you for making me see what I missed out in high school."

She looked down at the ground. "Um, you can say no if you want to, but I was wondering if you had plans for tonight. Giles wants me to patrol, since I didn't last night. I thought you might want to go with me."

"Thank you for inviting me. I'd love to."

"Great. Want to meet here at seven?"

"It's a date." He leaned down, kissing her softly on the cheek. "Bye, Buffy."

"Good-bye."

She watched him pull out of the driveway before entering her house. After closing the front door behind her, Buffy leaned against it and sighed.

Mrs. Summers saw her daughter standing there. "Have a good time, honey?"

"The best."

"I can tell. You're beaming. I haven't seen you this happy in a long time."

"You were right, Mom. I had the time of my life."

"See? Going by yourself isn't all that bad."

Buffy moved away from the door, heading for the living room couch. Mrs. Summers sat next to her. "Willow asked Angel to come and be my date. He saved me from being humiliated by Kevin and he wanted to be my date."

"Really? That was very sweet of him."

"And we danced and talked. It was like we were the only two people in the world. Then we went to Xander's house, played Truth or Dare and we had to kiss. Mom, it was the best kiss ever. I fell asleep in his arms...it was just amazing!"

Mrs. Summers took note of the expression on Buffy's face. "You really like Angel, don't you?"

"I love him. Mom, I know what you are going to say; that I'm too young. But I do. In the year I dated Kevin, I never felt this way. Like it was meant to be. Until last night, I wasn't positive, but now I am. Angel and I are soulmates."

"I would never judge you that way, Buffy. I trust you, and if you believe that you love him, I am happy for you. Have you told Angel how you feel?" her mother asked.

"No. I wasn't one hundred percent until last night. And before that, I didn't even think he liked me. Now though, I think there might be a chance. It was the kiss. I could tell. And falling asleep in his arms, it felt so right."

"Why didn't you say anything to him before?"

Buffy shrugged. "I was afraid he'd laugh in my face. You know I've never handled rejection well."

"What makes you think he'll reject you? Buffy, I'm not going to tell you what to do, but I will give you some advice. Tell Angel how you feel; find out how he feels. If you think there's something between you two, you deserve to know for sure. It'll save you a world of hurt later down the road. Being open and honest is the best way to start a relationship," advised Mrs. Summers.

"You're right, Mom. The worst that can happen is he says he doesn't feel the same way. I have to tell him. Now, before I lose my nerve."

********

"Coming!" Angel called, hearing the knocking on the door. He'd been laying on the couch, reliving the past twenty-four hours. He found Buffy standing in the hall when he opened the door. "Buffy."

She smiled sheepishly. "Hi, Angel. May I come in?"

"Of course." She stepped inside and he closed the door, asking, "Is something wrong?"

When he turned to face her, Buffy was standing a foot away. She didn't answer him. Instead, she wrapped her arms around his neck, pressing his face down to meet hers. She caught his lips in a heated kiss which he wasted no time in responding to. Neither broke the kiss until the need to breathe overwhelmed them.

"What...?" Angel started. "Did I miss something?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, you didn't miss anything. There's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

She took a deep breath, preparing to bare her soul. "I'm in love with you, Angel. Not just in a brother-sister kind of way; in an ‘I want to be with you forever' kind of way. And I don't know how you feel, but I couldn't hold it in anymore. It's been eating away at me for weeks. On some subconscious level, I think I've been in love with you since I saw you. I never knew how you felt, so I held back and kept it a sec--"

Angel hushed Buffy's rambling with a kiss of his own. He placed his hands on her waist, lifting her to his level with ease. Her hands made their way to his hair, running through the dark brown spikes. Angel pressed her even closer to him, not allowing an inch of space between them. The kiss slowly ended, and he placed her back on the ground again, staring into her eyes.

"I love you, too, Buffy."

********

16

"You love me?" an astonished Buffy replied.

Angel nodded. He took her hands in his, leading her to the couch. They sat down, still holding hands. "I love you. I have since the moment I first laid eyes on you."

"But..." Then it sunk in. "The girl you told me about; love at first sight girl who had no idea how you felt. That was me, wasn't it?"

"Yes, Buffy. When you walked into the library the first day we met, I knew. I loved you. My destiny walked into my life in the form of a beautiful young woman named Buffy Summers. You. And my life has not been the same since," he explained.

"Why didn't you say anything?"

"At first, because of Kevin. You seemed so happy with him and I didn't want to ruin that. It would have been selfish of me. Aside from that, there's the Watcher's Council. They firmly believe that a Slayer and her Watcher should be distanced from each other."

"You aren't my Watcher, Angel," Buffy pointed out.

"Technically, no. But to them, I'm still a Watcher, and by training with Giles, I am taking part in your training. In the Council's eyes, I am your Watcher."

"They are thousands of miles away! How could the ever find out?" Buffy saw the look on his face. "Giles. But as long as he doesn't find out, the Council will never know."

"Giles knows how I feel. The way I act around you, it made him realize what was going on. I don't know if he's going to tell them or not."

Buffy touched his cheek. "That's all you were worried about? Giles won't tell, I know him. And Kevin is so out of the picture. He has been for weeks. What kept holding you back?"

He looked away. "I thought I scared you."

"What? How?"

"When we first kissed, you ran away. I was afraid I came on too strong and it frightened you," he admitted.

She shook her head. "I ran away because I was afraid you'd want more; that I'd want more and out of fear of what I might do. Angel, I've never been kissed like that before. So many emotions were running through me, I thought I would do something really stupid. Not to mention, I was afraid of what you might think of me."

"That kiss...it was amazing, Buffy. I could never think less of you because of it, ‘cause I wanted it, too. I wanted you; I still do."

"Really?"

"I honestly believe you are my true love. The one I'm destined to be with."

"Me too," she agreed. "Where does that leave us?"

He cupped her face in his hands. "I am going to follow my heart. Buffy, it has led me to you. I want more than anything to be with you, whether it be as a friend or a soulmate."

"I feel the same way. Only I won't settle for friendship. I want the whole package. Soulmate. Forever."

"Forever."

A gentle, loving kiss sealed their decision.

********

Buffy sat in Willow's bedroom an hour later. She needed to tell her best friend everything that happened. "So, after I talked to Mom, I went to Angel's apartment. He barely got out a sentence before I jumped him."

Willow's eyes widened. "You're kidding."

"Well, I didn't literally jump him, but as soon as he closed the door, I kissed him. And he kissed me back and it was...wow."

"What did you say? What did he say?"

Buffy grinned. "I told him that I am in love with him, and I guess I started rambling because halfway through a sentence Angel started kissing me. And then he said he loves me too. Will, I'm the girl he told me about!"

"I know."

Buffy raised an eyebrow. "What do you mean you know?"

"A couple weeks ago, I heard Angel and Giles talking. I overheard Angel telling him that he's in love with you. I knew how you felt and how he felt, but it wasn't my place to tell you guys."

"And you decided to do a little matchmaking?"

Willow shrugged. "You two would never had admitted it. Xander, Cordy and Oz helped me. I convinced Angel to show up at the Prom, knowing that he'd want to go with you. Then I brought up Xander's party because I was sure you'd invite Angel. I came up with the idea for Truth or Dare, but the dare was all Xander's idea."

"I really should be mad at you for this little stunt," Buffy said to her. "But I can't. If it wasn't for you, I wouldn't have had the perfect Prom, or wouldn't have kissed Angel again, or have woken up in his arms this morning, or wouldn't have admitted to him how much I love him. Thank you, Will."

The two girls hugged. "What are you and Angel going to do now?" asked Willow.

"We're meant to be together, and nothing's going to stop us. Angel and I don't care what anyone else thinks. In fact, he's coming over tonight to meet Mom."

********

She asked Angel to come over half an hour early so her mother could meet him before patrol. Buffy and Mrs. Summers sat in front of the television, waiting for him to arrive.

"Honey, stop wringing your hands," Mrs. Summers told her.

"Sorry. I guess I'm nervous about you meeting Angel; afraid you won't like him," Buffy said.

"Don't worry so much. From what you've told me, I know I'll like him. If you love each other, just trust that. Forget everyone else."

Buffy sighed. "You're my mother. I need you to believe in us. If you can't, then I don't know what I'll do. I need your approval. I may love him, but you're opinion means a lot to me."

"Why don't we wait until Angel gets here and let me decide."

For the next ten minutes, Buffy tried to watch television, but it made no impact on her. The words went in one ear and out the other. At exactly six-thirty, the doorbell rang, making her jump off the couch. "It's him."

"Go answer the door, Buffy."

Mrs. Summers waited in the living room while her daughter opened the door. She could only see Buffy, and saw the grin on her face upon seeing their guest. A minute later, Buffy entered the room once again, holding hands with a tall, dark-haired man in his mid-twenties.

"Mom, I'd like you to meet Angel. Angel, this my mother, Joyce Summers," Buffy introduced.

Mrs. Summers extended her hand to the young man. ‘Buffy wasn't lying when she said he was good-looking.' "It's a pleasure to meet you, Angel."

"Likewise, ma'am," he replied, shaking her hand.

"Please, call me Joyce." She took a seat on the reclining chair while Buffy and Angel sat close to each other on the couch. "Tell me a bit about yourself."

Angel took a deep breath. He tried not to show how nervous he was, but meeting Buffy's mother proved to be nerve-wracking. "I'm twenty-seven years old, I lived in L.A. almost my entire life, graduated from UCLA three years ago with a Master's in History."

"How do you support yourself?"

He looked at Buffy, who mouthed, "Tell her the truth." "I've been tutoring Buffy for almost a month now, so that takes care of my food expenses. But the majority of my income comes from the Watcher's Council."

"The Watcher's Council?" questioned Mrs. Summers. "The ones in charge of the Slayers?"

"One in the same. I've been training to be a Watcher for three years now. I came to Sunnydale to learn the everyday routine of the Slayer -- Buffy," said Angel.

"That's very interesting. So you are going to be a Watcher to a Slayer. After Buffy dies."

Angel saw where Mrs. Summers was going with this. "I'm not going to let anything happen to Buffy. I swear it. I love her, Mrs. Summers...Joyce."

"I trust that you won't let anything happen to my daughter. And by the look in your eyes, I can tell you love Buffy. I'm happy for you both."

"Thank you."

"What about your family? What do they think of your career choice, Angel?" she wanted to know.

When Angel didn't answer right away, Buffy grasped his hand. "I never met my father, he left before I was born. My mother...she died when I was six. Her Watcher raised me."

"Her Watcher? Your mother was a Slayer?"

"Yes. It's -- it's not something I'm comfortable discussing. I'm sorry."

Buffy glanced at the clock on the VCR. "Angel, we should get a move on. The vamps are going to be out soon."

He nodded in agreement. "You're right." They stood up. "It was nice to meet you, Joyce."

"Same here. Please don't be a stranger. You're welcome here anytime."

"Thank you very much."

Angel and Buffy headed for the door. "Buffy?" Mrs. Summers called.

"Yeah, Mom?" she asked.

"He's a nice young man, honey. Hold on to him with both hands. Don't let him go."

"I'm not planning on it."

********

17

Buffy and Angel walked through the cemetery. They'd come across two vampires in the hour since they began patrolling.

"I'm getting pooped," she said. "The vamps are out in full force tonight. Must be the weather."

"Yeah. Must be."

She glanced at him. His handsome face wore a mask of sadness. "What's wrong?"

He shook his head. "Nothing. Don't worry about it."

Buffy stopped walking, and Angel stopped as well. "I am worried about it. If we're going to make us work, we have to be honest with each other. Please tell me what's on your mind."

Angel sat down on the grass, leaning against a gravestone. "I want so badly to tell you everything, Buffy. But talking about my mother is hard for me."

"Look, I'm sorry about what my mother said. She didn't know, Angel. And whenever you're ready to tell me about her, I'll be here to listen. Forever, remember?" She sat down next to him, holding his arm as a show of comfort, support and love.

"How did I get so lucky?"

"We're both lucky, I guess." She leaned over, kissing him softly.

"Aren't we supposed to be patrolling?" he asked when the kiss ended.

"We're taking a break. A pooped Slayer is a careless Slayer. Let that be lesson number one," Buffy told him.

Angel smiled. "Lessons now? Do I have to take notes, too?"

"No, let's leave that to Giles." She stared for a moment into the darkness. "Giles! What are we going to tell him? About us."

"The truth. I thought we didn't care what people thought about us. As long as we love each other, nobody else matters," reminded Angel.

"You're right. But I'm freaked now; we have to tell Giles. It never occurred to me, but what if he tells the Council and you lose your job?"

"Don't worry so much. If the Council fires me, then I can do something else."

Buffy looked at him. "You told me being a Watcher was all you ever wanted to do. Because of your mom." She realized she'd made a mistake in mentioning Angel's mother. "Oops. Sorry."

"It's okay, Buffy. You don't have to tiptoe around the subject. I think I'm ready to tell you about her, but now here, not now. Maybe tomorrow. And as for my being a Watcher, you're right. It is all I ever wanted to do. But if it comes down to choosing between you and the Watcher's Council, I'll choose you without a second thought. The Council means a lot to me, but you mean so much more. You're my true love, Buffy. Nothing will ever change that."

"You'd do that for me? Give up everything you ever worked for?"

Angel touched his forehead to hers. "Nothing else matters to me anymore except you."

Buffy hugged him close to her, leaning her head into the juncture where his shoulder and neck met, kissing his warm skin. "I love you so much. I never thought it was possible to love someone like this."

"Me either."

********

For the second night in a row, Buffy slept soundly. When she awakened Sunday morning she felt refreshed and relaxed, almost as if she were a new person. Her alarm clock read ten-fourteen, so Buffy climbed out of bed, stretching. She walked downstairs to the kitchen, expecting to find her mother sitting at the table. Instead, she found a note.

Mom

Buffy sighed. Calling Giles was the last thing she wanted to do. Patrolling hadn't exactly gone as usual. She and Angel spent more time kissing then slaying. Picking up the phone, Buffy dialed Giles' number.

"Hello?" he answered, on the third ring.

"Hi, Giles. Mom left me a note saying you called. What's up?"

"Did you just wake up?" he wanted to know.

"Yeah. I was a little tired."

Giles cleared his throat. "Was it a late night last night? Did patrol go well?"

"Uh-huh. Got four vamps in all. We had loads of fun."

"We? Willow went with you?"

Buffy didn't know whether or not to tell him the truth or not. If she told Giles that Angel went with her, he might find it a bit odd. They only patrolled together during the week. Or so he thought. "No. Me and the vamps ‘we', not Willow and me ‘we.'"

"Very well. Patrol was fruitful, though?"

"Yep. Told you, got four vamps."

"How was Prom, then? I know how excited Xander and Willow were about it. Did you have a good time?" Giles asked.

"I had a great time, Giles." ‘Thanks to Angel.'

"I'm glad to hear it. I only called to see how patrol went last night. Unless something unforseen should occur, I'll see you in school tomorrow, Buffy."

"‘Bye, Giles." Buffy hung up the phone. "Thank God that's over."

********

At two o'clock, Buffy was sitting on the couch next to Angel in his apartment, holding the picture of him and his mother. "I can't get over how cute you were," she said.

"Were?"

"Okay, so you're still cute. I love that little blue baseball cap. Do you still have it?"

He shook his head. "After we moved, most of my stuff stayed in San Francisco. I have very few things from my childhood."

"That must have been hard, leaving everything behind."

"I don't remember it really well. My mother's Watcher, Mr. Kensington -- I always called him Geoffrey -- thought it would be better if we moved away from the bad memories. Mom died on a Thursday night and we were in L.A. by Friday afternoon."

Buffy snuggled closer to Angel. "I'm sorry. Have you ever been back there?"

"In 1996, before I left for England to begin my Watcher studies, I visited her grave. Left her a dozen roses and told her how much I missed her. I haven't been back since," Angel said.

"What was her name?"

"Carolyn Reilly."

"She had a beautiful name. She was a beautiful woman, Angel. And she loved you, I can tell just by looking at the expression on her face in this picture."

He managed a smile. "I loved her, too. I only wish there was more I could remember about her."

"You were young." She rested her head on his shoulder. "There is one more thing I'm curious about."

"What's that?"

"I'm not sure if you even know the answer to it."

"Try me."

"Well, why did she name you Angel? It's such an unusual name," Buffy commented. ‘Like Buffy is such a normal name, too.'

Angel exhaled deeply. "My mother had been patrolling with her Watcher when she was seven and a half months pregnant. They were attacked by a vampire, but before Mr. Kensington could stake him, the vamp kicked my mother in the stomach. She went into premature labor and gave birth to me the next day. The doctor's weren't sure if I would make it; being the early seventies, the hospital didn't have much in the way of neo-natal technology. She named me Angel so that if I lived or died, she'd always have an angel with her."

"I wish I could have met her, she sounds like a great woman."

"From what I've heard, she was."

Buffy wrapped her arms around Angel, giving him a long, loving kiss. "We'll visit her someday soon. You and me."

"You mean it? You'd go with me, Buffy?"

"Yes I would. I want to thank her for giving me you."

********

18

"How was your weekend? Anything interesting happen?" Cordelia asked Monday morning at lunch.

The gang sat at a round table next to the window facing the library. Through the library's window, Buffy could see Giles and Angel sorting through a pile of books. She licked her lips, imagining her lips on his, her hands in his hair, his hands running up and down her back. Buffy shook off the image. ‘Not here. I can't be thinking about that here,' she scolded herself.

"My weekend was great, Cordy. How was yours?" Buffy knew what Cordelia was really asking, but wouldn't give out the details unless asked outright.

"Who cares about my weekend. I wanna hear what it was like to wake up next to Angel."

Buffy shrugged. "It was nice, I guess."

"Nice?" repeated the brunette. "Please, Angel is a total hunk, you shared a bed with him and all you can say was that it was nice?"

Xander raised his hand. "Hello, Xander's still sitting at the table. Do you really have to remind us that History Boy is good-looking? Because I think we already covered that awhile ago."

"Shut up, Xander," Cordelia and Willow said in unison.

"Come on," pleaded Cordelia. "I want details."

"Fine. When I woke up Saturday morning, I was in his arms and he was watching me sleep."

Cordelia widened her brown eyes. "Did anything happen? Did you two...?"

"No! Nothing like that happened."

"You might want to tell them the news, Buffy," Willow suggested.

Buffy glanced into the library window again. Angel looked out at the same time. She smiled. "Angel and I decided that we belong together."

"That's great. Congratulations!" Cordelia gave her friend a hug.

"It's about time," said Xander. "How'd you two crazy kids finally come to that conclusion? Because we've known for quite some time now."

"I had a long talk with my mother and she convinced me to tell him how I feel. So I went to his apartment and told him. I said I loved him and he said the same thing. And things just went on from there."

"Were there smoochies?" Xander wanted to know.

"Maybe. Okay, so there were lots of smoochies. At his apartment and on patrol."

"You guys were making out in public while you supposed to be patrolling?"

"You guys make it sound so bad. And we weren't in public. We were in the cemetery," explained Buffy.

Willow had a question. "What does Giles have to say?"

Buffy shrugged. "Angel and I haven't told him. We're kind of afraid of what he'll say."

"Why would Giles be upset about it?" Xander asked. "Angel's just your History tutor." He didn't know that Angel was a Watcher. Buffy never had a reason to tell him.

"Because Angel's a Watcher-in-training sent here to observe me and train with Giles. And Watchers aren't supposed to have any kind of feelings for Slayers. They're supposed to be detached."

Xander nodded his head in understanding. "Ah. I can see why Giles would have a problem with you two being a couple. Are you guys gonna tell him, though?"

"Eventually. But not right away. Yeah, it's going to be hard to keep it from Giles...he's always there. He will totally flip out, I just know it."

********

Throughout their tutoring session, Buffy and Angel had a hard time keeping their hands off of each other. They held hands under the table, brushed their legs against each other, stole glances at each other when Giles wasn't looking. He walked in and out of his office every five minutes.

"Is he ever gonna leave?" Buffy muttered under her breath. "We can't even get five minutes alone together without Giles walking into the room."

Angel grasped her hand. "Buffy, we'll be patrolling tonight. Alone. Giles won't be there."

"I don't want to wait that long. God, it took all my self-control to keep from kissing you when I walked in here. Even now it's hard," said Buffy.

"I know exactly what you mean. But we should get back to work before he starts getting suspicious."

"Probably a good idea." Buffy turned the page in her History book. "Be tutor and tutoree Angel and Buffy. Got it. Let's move on to the Nixon administration. Lots of fun there."

Angel gave her a small smile. "Maybe it'll get my mind off how much I want to kiss you right now."

"Save that thought for later."

Half an hour later, their History lesson ended. Buffy walked to the locker room to change into her workout clothes. Giles came out of his office once again and approached Angel, who stood at the table packing up the History books.

"Angel, a problem has arisen that requires my immediate attention. I won't be able to partake in Buffy's training session today. You've sat through enough of them, and I feel I can trust you to take my place," Giles informed the young man.

"You want me to train Buffy today?"

"I feel you can handle it. Can I trust you, Angel?" Giles asked with a raised eyebrow.

Angel was offended. "I would hope you wouldn't have to ask me such a question."

"I know your feelings for Buffy run deeply. I want to be sure you won't let them get in the way."

‘A little late for that.' "Not to worry, Giles. Everything is under control."

"Very well. I don't know when I'll be back. Be careful, Angel. Buffy is a difficult adversary. She's strong and powerful."

Angel nodded. "I'm stronger than most humans; I inherited my mother's strength. Giles, I'll be able to hold my own."

"Good luck and I shall see you later." The elder Watcher exited the library.

Five minutes after Giles left, Buffy returned. She looked around, but didn't see her Watcher in the room. "Where's Giles?" she wanted to know.

"He had to leave. Some kind of emergency came up and he had to go," answered Angel.

"What about my training?"

"I'm doing it today. Giles thinks I'm ready to work on training with you."

Buffy grinned. ‘Alone at last.' "I hope you can handle it. I may just kick your ass."

Angel lifted his gray sweater over his head and placed it on the table behind him. He wore nothing underneath, and stood bare chested in front of Buffy. "Don't hold back. I have a lot of my mother's strength, I can take it."

Buffy headed over to the cage where Giles keeps the weapons. She pulled out two swords, one for her and one for Angel. "Ready to fight?" she asked, tossing him one.

"Ready, willing and able. Hit me with your best shot."

She swung at him, narrowly missing his head. Angel blocked the next swing with a blow of his own. This went on for ten minutes before they dropped their weapons in favor of punches and kicks. Buffy eased her punches so as not to hurt Angel. He, however, opted to do just the opposite. He unleashed all of his strength, proving that he could take anything she threw at him. With one roundhouse kick, Angel knocked Buffy to the ground flat on her back.

"Ow," she complained. "That hurt."

"Sorry. Here, let me help you up." Angel held out his hand, intending to assist Buffy in standing.

When she gripped his arm, Buffy pulled him, forcing him to fall on top of her. "This feels a lot better."

"Buffy, you could be hurt."

"So kiss me and make it all better."

"Buffy..."

She wrapped her arms around his neck when Angel tried to stand up. Buffy used all of her strength to hold him in place. He couldn't get out of her grasp. Fearing he may be putting unnecessary pressure on her possibly injured body, Angel applied all of his body weight onto his arms, keeping his upper body off Buffy.

The kiss great from fun-loving to dangerously passionate in a short period of time. Their tongues dueled inside each others' mouths, and Buffy ran her hands across the warm, damp skin of Angel's bare back, trying to memorize each ridge. Her legs tangled around his, lifting his one pant leg over his calf.

Giles entered the library, staring in shock at Buffy and Angel's heated embrace on the floor. When he could form a sentence, he exclaimed, "What the hell is going on here?"

********

19

They disentangled their limbs and climbed quickly to their feet. Buffy straightened her hair while Angel fixed his pant leg. "Giles, this isn't what it looks like," Buffy said.

"Really?"

"I--I can explain," Angel began with a stammer.

"Let me guess. You were training and your lips fell on top of Buffy's?" Giles asked, matter-of-factly.

Angel gazed at the floor. There was no way he and Buffy could get out of this predicament without telling the Watcher the truth. She held his right hand in her left, placing her right hand on top of them. "Angel and I love each other very much and we belong together."

"Really?" he repeated. "When did this come about? Because last time I saw you two together you barely looked at one another. Now all of a sudden you're all over each other?"

"It happened this weekend, after Prom," Buffy said to Giles.

"I was under the impression you went alone, Buffy. Did you have a sudden revelation during the Electric Slide?"

"Willow asked me to go as a favor," Angel informed him. "She wanted Buffy to have a good time, so I went intending to be her date. Nothing more than that. Things just went on from there."

Giles nodded. "That explains why I was unable to get a hold of you Friday night. This -- this thing you two have decided upon is not a wise idea."

Buffy didn't get it. She expected Giles to be upset at first, but figured he'd get over his anger quickly. "Because of the Council? They are half a world away! And Angel and I don't care what they think; what anyone thinks. We're in love."

"Buffy, you being in a relationship with Angel is a mistake."

She threw her arms out in front of her. "Why? You've never had a problem with me dating before. You were always okay with Kevin and Scott and Owen."

Giles shook his head. "No I wasn't. A Slayer in a romantic relationship is dangerous. To both parties."

"What's so dangerous about me being with Angel? He knows who I am, what I am, he ca hold his own in a fight and he can protect me if I need protecting."

The Watcher exhaled his breath angrily. "Buffy, go change out of your workout clothes. I need to speak with Angel alone."

"No. Anything you say to Angel you can say to me, too."

"Now!" Giles shouted.

Glancing once at Angel before walking away, Buffy stormed out of the library.

"Giles, look--"

"No, I don't want to hear it," Giles interrupted. "But I do want to know what in bloody hell you were thinking. And for God's sake, put your shirt back on."

Angel did as Giles requested. "Buffy already told you, we love each other."

"Buffy is a naive, vulnerable, impressionable young woman. You are older and wiser, Angel. You should know better."

"I'm not going to hurt her. I love her more than I've ever loved anyone else."

"You know what the Council will say," he reminded Angel.

Angel shrugged. "So tell them. And while you're at it, why don't you tell them you love her, too. I know you do, she's like a daughter to you." He was beginning to lose his temper with Giles' threats.

"Yes, I love her, but I don't go making out with her on the library floor for everyone to watch, either! I hoped you would show better judgement than that."

"I refuse to apologize for loving her; it was beyond my control. You make it seem as though I planned it. Like I saw her and said, ‘She's really pretty. I think I'll fall in love with her.' Love isn't brains, it's blood. And part of being in love is losing control. I may not have much experience in matters of the heart, but I know that much."

Giles frowned. "I suppose nothing I say will stop you from continuing on with Buffy. The repercussions of this decision are yours to deal with. Angel, you should have thought more about this before jumping into whatever you're jumping into with Buffy."

"I've thought about it for a month now. Any doubt I had flew out the window when Buffy said she loves me. And there is nothing you can say or do to change my mind. I'm old enough to make my own decisions, Giles, I don't need your blessing. If you'll excuse me, I have to go find Buffy."

After Angel left, Giles entered his office, pulled out his address book and dialed the long-distance number he searched for. He waited anxiously until it was the answered on the other end.

"Hello, this is Rupert Giles...I am fine, how are you?...I'm glad to hear it. I'm sorry to bother you, I know how busy you are. But there is a problem here that I believe you can help me with. It's in regards to Angel. I desperately need your help."

********

"Will, it was horrible," Buffy said on the phone with Willow before dinner. "Giles totally lost it. He yelled at me and said that me and Angel are a bad idea."

"Maybe he just needs some time. It must have been a big shock to him, seeing you two making out on the floor."

"I guess so. But he could've been more understanding. He acted like we were driven by our hormones or something like that. We aren't, though. Angel and I love and respect each other."

"I know that, Buffy. I can see where he's coming from, though. He walked into the library and found you two getting hot and heavy on the floor. Maybe he thought you were going to...to sleep together if he hadn't come in when he did." Willow was trying to see things from Giles' perspective.

"No way! I'm not ready for that yet."

"Then let me ask you this: when Giles walked in, how far had you gone with Angel?"

Buffy sighed. She knew what Willow was getting at. "We were on the floor. I guess at least second base, pushing third. But that still doesn't give Giles the right to say that stuff about us."

"He's only looking out for you. He could think you're still on the rebound from Kevin."

"No. Giles said me and Angel were dangerous if we are a couple. God, I wish he could see things the way I do. I'm over Kevin, I love Angel. Why can't he see that?"

"Buffy! Dinner!" Mrs. Summers called from the kitchen.

"I have to eat dinner now. See you tomorrow, Willow. ‘Bye." Buffy hung up the phone and headed for the kitchen. She sat down in her usual chair.

"How was school today, Buffy?" Mrs. Summers asked.

Buffy shrugged. "Okay, I guess." She didn't feel like telling her mother about the incident in the library.

"What's wrong? Something's bothering you, I can tell."

"It's nothing. I just had a bad day."

"Did something happen with your friends? With Angel?"

She shook her head. "No. Everything's fine with them."

"Then what is it?"

"I don't want to talk about it. Can we eat, please? I'm hungry and I have to patrol tonight," Buffy said.

"Is Angel going with you?"

"No. I'm stopping by his place after I'm done. I may be home a little later than usual."

Mrs. Summers eyed her daughter. "I hope you're not planning on doing anything irrational."

"Mom, don't worry. Angel and I are taking things slowly. I'm not ready for that big of a step," Buffy reassured her mother.

"Alright, I believe you and I trust you. I'll extend your curfew to eleven, but not a minute later."

Buffy smiled. "Thanks. I just really need to talk to him."

********

"I still don't get why Giles flipped out. Yeah, I understand it, you're a Watcher and I'm a Slayer. But we love each other. He should be happy for us," Buffy said. She felt tears running down her cheeks.

"You don't have to cry over it. He'll come around. Right now he's in shock over what he saw," Angel tried to comfort her. He pulled her face to his chest, letting her cry.

She sniffled. "Is he going to tell the Council?"

He caressed her cheek with his fingers. "I don't know. Personally, I don't care. I love you. And I don't think he could say anything. It would be hypocritical of him to do so. Giles thinks of you like a daughter, so in a way, he loves you, only different from the way I do. Telling the Council and having them investigate would jeopardize his job, not just mine."

Buffy leaned her head up, kissing his neck, working her way up to his lips. Unlike the last time, Angel didn't try to stop her. He kissed her with the same ferocity, plundering her mouth with his tongue. She moaned with pleasure when his hands roamed under her shirt, moving up and down her back, and when his lips trailed from her mouth to her ears and then to her throat. He moved his hands, putting them on her upper arms, pushing to her lay flat on the couch cushions.

With Angel on top of her, Buffy took the opportunity to remove his sweater, leaving him as clothed as he had been earlier. She raked her nails across his skin, moving her hands up and down gently. "Oh God, don't stop. Please, I love you, don't stop," she whispered as he nibbled on her earlobe.

A knock on the door caused Angel to stop his ministrations. "Don't answer it," Buffy told him.

"I have to. It might be important." He climbed off of her and pulled his sweater back on. He opened the door, surprised to see a tall, salt-and-pepper haired man standing on the other side. "Geoffrey."

Geoffrey Kensington smirked at Angel. "Hello, Angel. Aren't you going to invite me in?"

********

20

Angel stared at the man. Geoffrey Kensington was the last person he expected to see standing at his doorstep. "Oh." He motioned for his mother's Watcher to enter, knowing better than to invite anyone into his apartment after sunset.

Geoffrey entered. He stood just inside the apartment, leaving just enough room for Angel to close the door. Taking a look at the rest of the room, he found a pretty young girl sitting on the couch, smiling shyly. "Hello there. You must be Buffy Summers. I'm Geoffrey Kensington," he said with a slight British accent.

"Hi. Nice to meet you." 'I think.'

"It's not that I'm not happy to see you, Geoffrey, but why are you here?" asked Angel.

Geoffrey looked from Angel to Buffy and back again. "Oh dear. Am I interrupting something?"

Buffy shook her head. She could tell that Geoffrey wanted to speak to Angel in private. "No, I was just about to leave anyway." Standing up, she walked over to the door where Angel stood. "I will see you tomorrow, okay?"

Feeling he might be too embarrassed to kiss her front of Geoffrey, she gave his arm a squeeze and left the apartment.

"Have a seat," Angel invited.

Geoffrey did so. "Your shirt is on inside out, son," he informed.

Angel fixed his shirt, slightly embarrassed. "I pose the question again. Why are you here?"

"It occurs to me that you have been living in Sunnydale for months now and I have never seen your apartment."

Angel narrowed his eyes. "You drove two hours from L.A. just to see my apartment? Why don't I believe you?"

"To be truthful, that isn't why I came. Earlier today, I received a phone call from Rupert Giles. He was concerned."

"Giles called you? What exactly did he tell you?"

"Simply that you are treading some dangerous water with the Slayer. Buffy." Geoffrey laughed. "I will say this, son, you certainly have great taste in women. She's quite a looker."

"So he sent you here to read me the warning label attached to her? You don't have to bother, Geoffrey, I know what I'm getting myself into."

Geoffrey shook his head. "No, I don't believe you do. You couldn't possibly fathom how dangerous this is for you."

Angel, who had been pacing the living room, stopped in his tracks. "I love her; she loves me. How is that dangerous? Because she's the Slayer? I am perfectly capable of taking care of myself."

He shook his head again. "Being in love with the Slayer will only lead you to heartache. I don't want you to go through that kind of loss."

"Like you did with my mother?" shot Angel.

"Excuse me?"

"Please. I know you were in love with my mother. That's why you took me away from San Francisco so soon after her death. Geoffrey, you couldn't stand the memories. How certain places would make you think of her, every time you'd walk by the cemetery you'd think about how you found her body there. You couldn't stand to be plagued by the memories of how you lose the one you loved."

"Angel, Rupert and I are only looking out for you best interests. Neither of us want you to get hurt."

"I'm not going to get hurt."

"You may think so now, but what will happen when Buffy falls at the hand of her foe? A demon or vampire takes her away, what will you do, son? Give up on life as well? Have you even thought about it?" posed Geoffrey.

"I refuse to let anything happen to Buffy. I love her more than anything else. I'll protect her in any way I can."

Geoffrey smiled ever so slightly. "Had you said that about any other girl but the Slayer I would be happy for you and wish you both the best of luck. However, with this girl, I cannot stand by and let you make what very well be the biggest mistake of your life."

"Shouldn't that be my decision?"

"Son, sit down please." Angel sat on the black leather reclining chair across from Geoffrey. "I have never wanted anything except for you to be happy. Carolyn would have wanted me to give you the joyful, safe, normal upbringing she couldn't give you. And by taking you to Los Angeles, I thought I was doing that.

"But you were always a melancholy child, Angel. Nothing I did for you changed that. I raised you as best I could, bought you all the things you wanted, sent you to the best schools and universities in L.A.. Yet nothing made you happy. Carolyn took a piece of your heart with her when she died.

"I hoped that someday you would meet a young lady who could lead you out of this withdrawn, almost anti-social state you lived in. Four years of high school and six years of university gave me the highest hopes that you'd meet her. I even believed that Brittany MacKenzie might have been her."

Angel raised his eyes. "I went out with Brittany once, only because you asked me to."

"You looked happy that night."

"I fake it really well. She bothered me. All she talked about was shopping. She was insipidly boring."

"Yes, I can see how you might find that rather dull. You wanted a girl with whom you could have an intellectual conversation?"

Angel shook his head. "I wanted heat and passion. I wanted to look at her and just know that she was the one. And one look at Buffy told me she was the one."

"It was love at first sight then?"

"As cliched as it sounds, yes."

Geoffrey glanced at his hands. "As I said before, had this Buffy been any other girl, I would wish you well. But you are putting yourself at risk, son."

"You're repeating yourself, Geoffrey. Give me a valid reason as to why I shouldn't be allowed to follow my heart," demanded Angel.

"Want me to spell it out for you? Fine, I will. You'll be an easy target. Vampires and demons will see you as the Slayer's weakness. And they prey on weaknesses. They will do whatever it takes to make the Slayer powerless, and targeting you will do so. Using you as bait will possibly kill you both.

"Another reason is that you will be setting yourself up for a fall. Slayers are not notoriously known for living long lives. Angel, no matter how much you try to protect her, there will be something out there stronger than the both of you. What will you do when she dies? You're still a young man with your whole life ahead of you. Attaching your heart to a girl who will not live past her twenty-third birthday is not healthy. I don't want to see you broken hearted for the rest of your life. You deserve what every normal man deserves: a wife, a job, a home and children to fill it."

"What makes you think I want any of that? If I can't have that with the woman I love, I don't want it."

Geoffrey stood up. "I am only looking out for your best interests, son."

"Son," Angel scoffed. "For years I honestly believed you were my real father. You know, the one who got my mother pregnant. And that you never wanted to acknowledge me as your son because of your position. Then, years later, I realized you weren't my real father; that you only took care of me after Mom died so you'd have a piece of her to hold on to. You were only a few years older than I am right now and you gave up your livelihood to raise a Slayer's child and keep him safe. How can you have done what you did and not understand why I'm doing what I'm doing?"

"It's not the same thing."

"Isn't it? We've both been in love with the Slayer, even though it could cost us our positions with the Watcher's Council. The only difference I can see is that you raised her child after her death."

He sighed. "Angel, you cannot compare your relationship with Buffy to mine with Carolyn. Two different circumstances."

"Like the fact that Buffy loves me back?" Angel shot at Geoffrey.

"I didn't come here to argue with you, son. You needed someone to show you the path you're taking and where it will lead you. I've done that, but if you don't heed my advice, I'm sorry for wasting your time." He moved toward the door. "Good luck with Buffy. I have a feeling you'll need it."

Geoffrey exited the apartment, closing the door behind him. Once outside, he said, "I wish I could tell you the truth,Angel, but it'll hurt you too much."

********

"Did you explain to him the dangers of his relationship with Buffy?" Giles asked when Geoffrey returned to the apartment.

"I did my best to convince him that he is putting himself at risk, but he is too blinded by love to listen to me. Angel didn't want to hear it. I gave him my most logical arguments."

Giles paced a straight line in front of his couch. "Geoffrey, if you had seen what I saw this afternoon, you'd have been terrified. I'm worried that this will get them both killed. I cannot begrudge either of them from finding love; just the opposite. Had they found love with other people, I'd be happy for them. But together, they have no idea what they are getting themselves into."

Geoffrey nodded in agreement. "I know what you mean. I am glad that Angel found someone to make him happy. But why did it have to be the Slayer?"

"Did you tell him the real reason it's dangerous?" Giles wanted to know.

"No. And I'm hoping I'll never have to. He would never understand and it will hurt him too much. It is better to keep it between us and the Council. Angel doesn't need to know the truth."

********

21

With everything going on, Angel couldn't concentrate on anything. He felt claustrophobic inside his apartment and needed to get out for some fresh air. It was balmy, although it was eleven-thirty, but he threw on his duster over his sweater and black pants. It proved to be a good hiding place for his weapons.

He strolled through the streets of Sunnydale, deserted as they were. Very few people were brave enough to walk after ten o'clock. Even he didn't like to do so, but he just couldn't stay in his apartment any longer. Angel needed to get out and think about everything Geoffrey had told him. So many things were jumbled in his head that he needed to sort them all out.

Weighing the pros and cons of a relationship with Buffy was not something he wanted to do. There was no doubt in his mind that he loved her with every fiber of his being. He'd do anything to make her happy. But could he expect a long-term relationship out of it? He didn't know. Being with Buffy, if only for a short time, was better than not being with her at all, Angel decided. No matter what these so-called consequences were, he would stand by his love. He would never leave her.

Angel sat down on the bench in Wetherly Park, remembering how wonderful it felt to hold Buffy in his arms and kiss her sweet lips. He could still smell her favorite scent on him: vanilla. He smiled at the memory of them tangled on the library floor. No inhibitions, just the two of them and the passion they felt for each other. 'Yes,' he thought. 'I'm doing the right thing.'

Lost in his memories, Angel never heard the vampire approaching him from behind. He took a seat on the bench next to Angel, preparing for the kill.

"You look deep in thought," the vampire commented.

"Yeah."

He smirked to himself. 'This ought to be easy.' "Girl troubles?"

"Not really. Well, yeah, sort of," Angel told him.

"Let me guess. She dumped you."

Angel shook his head. "No. Everything's fine between me and Buffy. People around us think we're making a mistake."

'Buffy. Only one person around here is called Buffy. The Slayer.' The vampire came up with a plan. "What do you think? Are they right?"

"No, they aren't. I love her. She loves me. Everyone's wrong."

"You want to be with her forever?" asked the vampire.

"Yes, I do."

"I can easily arrange that."

The vampire leaned over, piercing his fangs into Angel's neck. Shocked at first, Angel didn't know what to do. All conscious thought left his body as the vampire continued to drink. Fight or flight instinct kicked in moments later, and Angel tried to push his attacker off. It didn't work, and more of his blood was being drained with every passing second. Remembering the stake in his pocket, he reached for it.

Out of the corner of his eye, the vampire saw Angel pull the weapon from his pocket. He blocked his victim's attempt at staking him, knocking the sharp wooden object from Angel's grip. Angel could hear his heartbeat slow down, knowing that this might very well be his last moments on earth.

'I love you, Buffy,' he said to himself, wanting his last memory to be of his true love.

The vampire retracted his fangs from Angel's neck, watching for a moment while the dying human took several shallow breaths. Smiling, he bit his wrist, drawing blood. He thrust his wrist to Angel's parted lips, forcing the man to swallow the red liquid that poured into his mouth. "Say nighty night, boy. Soon, we'll have the Slayer," the vampire vowed, carrying Angel's body into the woods.

********

Buffy had been searching for Angel for days. She had no idea where he went. Perhaps some kind of emergency had come up; the last time she'd seen him was Monday night at his apartment. Geoffrey Kensington had shown up, so Buffy assumed something had happened. That was Monday -- three days ago.

By the time Thursday rolled around, she still hadn't heard from Angel. She was worried about him; his safety. Giles didn't even know of Angel's whereabouts. He was surprised to hear that Angel disappeared without a trace. It certainly wasn't like him to be so irresponsible by not calling. Giles hoped the young man took his advice and ended his relationship with Buffy. But he never expected Angel to just leave town without telling anyone.

Patrolling had been uneventful for Buffy Thursday night. By nine she had only come across one vampire, and she considered calling it a night. One quick sweep through the cemetery then she would go home and wait by the phone in case Angel called.

Rustling in the bushes to her left caused Buffy to stand perfectly still in her fighting stance. Waiting a minute and hearing nothing more, she assumed it had been a bird or a rabbit. Sighing, she continued walking. But a minute later she heard the rustling again. This time it was coming from behind her. Buffy whipped around, raising her stake in her right hand. She stopped short when she saw who stood there.

"Angel!" she said, throwing herself into his arms. Buffy held onto him around his waist.

"Hey. Did I frighten you?" he asked.

Buffy looked in his eyes. Something was different, but she couldn't quite place it. "I've been so worried about you."

He placed a kiss on her forehead. "Something unexpected came up. It couldn't be avoided. I'm back, Buffy. For good."

Buffy relished in the comfort of his embrace. "You have no idea what was going through my mind. I thought something happened to you. I was afraid I'd never see you again."

"I'm right here. Nothing happened."

"I missed you, Angel. Do you think we can go somewhere private? It's dead out here tonight and I wanna be alone with you," Buffy said to him.

Angel smiled slyly. "I think it can be arranged. We can go back to my place."

They walked the half-mile to his apartment in silence. She held onto his arm with both hands, hugging it to her body. Buffy was so happy to see him, hold him and just be with him. She didn't let go of his arm until they stepped inside his apartment.

"It's been so long since I kissed you or touched you. It feels like a lifetime," Buffy admitted.

"I know exactly what you mean. Do you think we should continue where we left off when Geoffrey interrupted?" Angel asked.

Buffy nodded. "Oh yeah. Definitely." She took his hand and they both sat on the couch.

They stared at each other for what seemed like hours, neither one of them wanting to make the first move. His demon raging with want of her lips on his, Angel practically jumped on top of her. Buffy didn't resist him, instead, she invited it. She let him kiss her face to the point where he was attacking her with his mouth. Chalking it up to being away from each other for three days, Buffy welcomed his animalistic kisses.

Her hands were beginning to lift his shirt over his chest when Angel stopped her. "Not yet. Let's just do this first."

"Okay," she agreed.

His mouth moved from her face to her ears, then to her neck. Angel could feel her pulse, strong and rhythmic. His thirst for her became overwhelming. He needed blood, and Slayer blood, he knew, was the sweetest.

First licking her jugular vein, eliciting a moan from her, Angel fell into game face and bit into her.

The prick of his fangs caused Buffy to cry out. "What's going on? Why did you do that, Angel?" He looked up at her, letting her see his yellow vampire eyes. She screamed.

"What's the matter? You don't like my little surprise?" he asked with a chuckle.

"You...you're a vampire."

"Wow. You catch on quickly."

Buffy panted. She knew she was in deep trouble. "What do you want?"

He shrugged. "You, my love."

"Me?"

"We can be together forever. You and me, Buffy, we'll rule with our superior strength. And no one will be able to tell us that we don't belong together. Just say yes, Buffy. Just say yes."

Buffy shook her head adamantly. "No. I don't want to be a vampire."

"But it's so much fun. Not that I've had much time to find a down side to it yet. When I saw you a little while ago, I knew right then and there that I wanted to turn you; make you mine for all eternity. Come on, imagine the possibilities," Angel coaxed.

"No," she repeated.

Angel growled. "'No' isn't an option."

He bit her again, harder this time, her blood flowing into his mouth.

Taking only enough to sate his thirst, he cut himself and forced his blood down Buffy's throat. Angel laughed viciously at his conquest. On his first time out, he'd managed to kill the Slayer and bring his love across.

********

Angel bolted upright in bed, his body dripping with sweat. He breathed heavily, remembering every detail of his dream. 'Only a dream,' he told himself. 'It was a bad dream. A nightmare.' Closing his eyes again, he tried to dispel the images of what he'd done to Buffy. Turning her against her will, even the mere thought of it, much less the memory of it in his dream, made Angel sick to his stomach.

'I won't let anything happen to her. I will keep Buffy safe,' he vowed before falling asleep again.

********

22

He didn't get more than three hours of sleep that night, and Angel woke up angry. Angry at himself for letting his dream upset him so much, angry at Geoffrey for trying to convince him that he was making a mistake with Buffy, and angry at Giles for calling Geoffrey. Why couldn't the two Watchers mind their own business?

Angel took a shower, using the time under the excruciatingly hot water to think about his dream. What did it mean? That he wouldn't be able to protect Buffy from the evil that lurks throughout Sunnydale after dark? Or that his love for her made him easy prey for her enemies? That he might do what happened in the dream: become a vampire and kill her? Angel pounded his fist against the shower tile. "No!" he shouted. "It won't happen."

He got out of the shower, dried off and dressed himself in a black button-down shirt and jeans. Combing his hair in his trademark spikes and then grabbing his bag with books for his History lesson, Angel took off for Sunnydale High. Breaking several traffic laws on his five minute drive across town, Angel was determined to make it in time to have a few choice words with Giles. He and Buffy had a tutoring session at ten-thirty, so Angel wanted to be at the school by quarter after, giving himself fifteen minutes to confront the older Watcher.

Angel stormed through the empty hallway when he entered the building. Classes were in session, so only a few stragglers remained in the halls. He burst into the library and into Giles' office.

"How dare you?" accused Angel in a heated tone.

Giles put down his pen and glanced up at the angry young man standing before him. "Pardon me?"

"What gives you the right to call Geoffrey Kensington and invade my personal life?"

"When it involves the Slayer, I feel I have every right. Now take a deep breath, Angel, and calm down," said Giles.

"I will not calm down. I want an answer. A straight answer, not the runaround like I've been getting. Tell me why I shouldn't be with Buffy," Angel demanded harshly.

"Because you'll lose your job and I don't want to see that happen. I've known you since you were a child and I know how much you want -- have always wanted -- to be a Watcher. I would hate to see you lose that opportunity.

"And I care about both you and Buffy. You two are like the children I never had. If both of you were simply normal, average people, I would be thrilled and would give you my blessing. However, you're not. It's a dangerous situation for you to be in. There are things that you don't know; that you couldn't possibly understand. I don't want to see either of you get hurt."

"What is it that I wouldn't be able to understand? What thing?" Angel wanted to know, his voice nearing a shout.

"I cannot say. It isn't my place. But I will tell you that it is more horrible than you can imagine."

Angel sighed. When Giles started getting cryptic, he knew something was really wrong. "Fine, don't tell me. I would think you trust me enough to tell me, but obviously I'm wrong. Do me a favor, Giles. Stay out of my love life!"

"I'm doing this for your own good, Angel. I don't want to see you throw away everything you've worked for. The Watcher's Council does not take it lightly when a Watcher takes a personal interest in the Slayer."

"Then how do you get away with it? How did Geoffrey get away with it?" Angel asked.

Giles knit his eyebrows together in confusion. "I beg your pardon?"

"Geoffrey was in love with my mother. I've known it for years by the way he spoke of her. Did the Council ever find out about it?"

"I honestly don't know. Not to my knowledge did the Council find out."

"Then how could they find out about me being in love with Buffy?"

"Because the Council is watching you closely. Very closely."

Angel lost his temper. "How is this even fair to me? It's taken me twenty-seven years to find the woman of my dreams and I can't be with her? It's not right!"

"I'm sorry, Angel. I only wish that you could be with her, but unfortunately, you can't be with Buffy."

He shook his head. "I will be with her. You can send Geoffrey to try and talk me out of it, you can tell the Council and make me lose my job. Go right ahead, I don't care. Nothing is going to stop me from loving Buffy!"

********

Angel was already sitting at the table when Buffy came into the library. He heard her shoes clicking on the floor as she made her way over. One look at her and he smiled in spite of himself.

"Good morning," he greeted.

"Hi," she said cautiously.

"Look, I want to apologize for last night's interruption," Angel began. "Giles decided to call Geoffrey to talk some sense into me. He gave me this lecture about how dangerous it is for both of us, etc."

Buffy cast her eyes to the ground. What she had to say wasn't going to be easy. "Angel, I spent last night thinking. Maybe it was a good thing Geoffrey interrupted us."

"What do you mean?"

She bit her lip. "Last night really made me think. If Geoffrey hadn't shown up when he did, what would have happened, Angel?"

"I don't know."

"I do. We might have lost control. Would we have done something we'd both regret? It's all so new to me. Feeling this way, being with you...I just don't think I can do it all."

Angel stared at her, his heart breaking into a million pieces. "I see. You don't want to do this anymore. Us."

Buffy sat down in the chair next to him. "No, not at all. I still love you, I still want to be with you. But things are moving too fast for me. If this is going to work, we have to go slower."

"Slower. Okay," Angel agreed.

"I'm sorry."

"Buffy, it's fine. Slower is a good thing. I have no problem with that if it's what you want."

She looked at him closely. "Something else is bothering you, isn't it? I can tell."

"I had a rough night last night."

"Was it because of what Geoffrey said? Don't listen to him. You and I belong together, Angel. Even if we are moving slowly, I'm not leaving. I'm here for good."

Her words nearly echoed his words in the dream. It made him shudder. "I know that. It was this dream I had last night. More like a nightmare, really."

"How bad was it? Did it scare you?"

"Yeah. More than any other dream I've ever had. Even as a child, with all the demons I've seen and heard about, nothing scared me like that."

Buffy grasped a hold of his hand. "Tell me about it. What scared you so much?"

"I can't. It's too horrible. So real, it seemed so real."

"Angel, you can tell me anything."

He shut his eyes tightly, then opened them again. "I couldn't think in my apartment, so I went for a walk. When I sat down on a bench, this guy sat next to me. He and I started talking and before I knew it, he was biting me. The man was a vampire and I never knew it. He -- he bit me and made me feed off of him and he turned me into a vampire."

"Oh my god," commented Buffy. "But it was only a dream."

"No, there's more to it than that. After I was turned, you found me. It was a couple days later and you'd been worried about me. We were in the cemetery when you found me. We went back to my place and we kind of continued where we left off last night. And I bit you. I bit you...and drained you...and turned you. Then I woke up."

"It wasn't real. You have to remember that."

He nodded his head. "Yeah, I know. It seemed so real, Buffy. I couldn't protect you and I became the thing you hate the most. And I turned you. I hurt you so much and I never want to do that. That's what I'm afraid of. Hurting you."

"You won't. You couldn't."

"Love hurts, Buffy."

"Not our love. We'll never hurt each other." She kissed his trembling hand, still being held by her. "What happened in your dream will never happen in reality. Trust me on this. And whenever you start thinking that it might come true, keep saying to yourself that I love you and it was only a bad dream."

He smiled, having been reassured by her words. "Maybe we should get to work on studying. Your History final is in two weeks."

"Studying. Got it. Let's get to work." ‘Yeah. Slower is definitely better,' she thought.

********

23

Thanks to all of her tutoring sessions with Angel, Buffy's History exam was a snap. She passed with flying colors, getting a ninety on it and eased her average up to an eighty. She ran into the library after school to tell him the good news.

"I did it!" Buffy exclaimed, throwing herself into his arms, giving him a chaste kiss on the lips.

Angel held her close to him, not wanting to let her go. "Did what, Buffy?"

"Aced my History final."

He grinned. "Congratulations. I knew you could do it."

"I couldn't have done it without you. If you hadn't made me study all this weekend, and for the past two months almost, I would have failed for sure. Thank you." She gave him another kiss.

"I'd love to take credit for it, but you're the one who took the exam," reminded Angel.

"You're too modest. Most of this is your doing, so shut up and take some credit for it."

Giles exited his office, seeing Buffy and Angel in an embrace near the book counter. He sighed, thinking that perhaps they'd reverted back to the lust-driven teenagers they were only two weeks earlier. It didn't go unnoticed by the Watcher that things between Buffy and Angel cooled down considerably. No longer were they making public displays of affection on the library floor. He began to feel comfortable letting them train together. But seeing them holding each other so intimately, Giles became worried once again.

He cleared his throat. "Am I interrupting you?"

Buffy pulled herself out of Angel's embrace. "Giles, I just got my grade for my History exam."

"You did well, I presume." `At least I'll know she did some studying with Angel.'

"I got a ninety! All that tutoring paid off big time."

"That's wonderful news, Buffy. So you won't have to worry about not graduating, correct? I remember you telling me that you feared disappointing your parents by failing to graduate on time."

A huge grin plastered itself on Buffy's face. "I'm graduating. No summer school for Slay Gal. Next week, I'll be walking across the auditorium stage with my diploma in hand. You'll be there, won't you, Giles?" she wanted to know.

"Of course. All Sunnydale High staff is required to be there," her Watcher informed her.

"Cool. And as for you," she said, directing her attention to Angel, "you *so* have to be there. I only graduate once and I want you there to see me. Not to mention, you'll get to meet my father."

Angel groaned inwardly. Buffy had told him some stories about her father that made him a bit leery of the man. Most of all, Angel feared Mr. Summers' reaction to the nine year age difference between him and Buffy. `He'll think I'm taking advantage of her. I just know it.' "I wouldn't miss it for the world, Buffy."

Buffy was delighted. Everybody important in her life would be there on her graduation day. "And don't forget the party afterward at my house. I'm going to visit Mom at the gallery to give her the good news. Bye!" In a flash, Buffy left the room.

Giles turned to Angel. "I guess I should congratulate you as well, Angel. You did a good job with Buffy. She's really turned around since you began helping her. In a good way."

Angel was touched by the compliment. "Thank you, Giles. It means a lot coming from you. But I wish you could accept us as a couple."

"I have learned to accept it. While I still believe it is a dangerous state of affairs, I realize nothing I can say or do will change your minds."

"Thank you for understanding." Angel walked toward the door.

"Where are you going?" asked a curious Giles.

"To see about Buffy's graduation presents."

********

"Is this what you were looking for, sir?" the sales clerk asked, holding the box open in front of Angel.

"Yes, it is." Angel explained to the man what he wanted done. "Can you guarantee it by this coming Monday?"

He nodded. "Most definitely. As per your instructions, I can imagine that it will be exquisite."

"I hope so."

"A present for your wife?"

Angel shook his head. "My girlfriend, actually. It's a graduation gift. I want it to be a surprise."

The man smiled broadly. He saw the look of love in Angel's eyes. "This will be a most pleasant surprise for your young lady. Any woman would be very lucky to receive such a present. It is quite a show of love."

"I love her very much, so it works out perfectly."

"I shall call you when it is ready, Mr. Reilly."

He watched as Angel walked out of the store. `Whoever she is, she's quite lucky, to be loved that much. Ah, young love,' the man thought.

********

Graduation day was upon them before anyone knew it. Buffy woke up to a cloudless sky that Tuesday morning, eagerly anticipating the day's events. She would finally graduate from high school.

Willow came over at two, and Cordelia arrived at two-thirty so they all could get dressed and do each other's hair and make-up. Buffy wore a white sundress, white heels and left her hair straight, flowing past her shoulders. Willow wore a green dress, leaving her hair down as well. Cordelia chose a short black dress and curled her long brown hair into soft ringlets. Wearing their caps and gowns, the three girls stood in front of Buffy's mirror.

"I'm so excited. We're graduating," Willow said.

"Me too," agreed Buffy. "I am glad to have made it this far. I never thought I'd live to graduate from high school."

Cordelia put her arm around Buffy's shoulder. "Well, you are. Just think, this is the beginning of the rest of our lives. From here on in, we're adults. Living in the real world."

"Going to college," added Willow.

"Finding jobs," chimed in Buffy.

"Getting married to rich, handsome men," Cordelia said with a grin. "Well, unless you're Buffy."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "What's that supposed to mean?" she demanded jokingly.

"Only that you've got the market cornered with your handsome hunk of man boyfriend. And if his apartment is as nice as you say it is, Angel's probably got money, too." She laughed. "You're luckier than most of us."

"I feel really lucky." Buffy glanced at the clock on her nightstand. "God, it's four already. My Dad is going to be here any minute."

"We should get going," Willow said. "Right, Cordy?"

The brunette nodded. "Right. I have to stop at Xander's house for pictures. See you at school, Buffy."

The two girls left. Less than five minutes later, Hank Summers pulled up. Buffy waited on the front porch to greet him. She hadn't seen her father in almost six months.

"Hey, Princess!" he said, giving Buffy a kiss and a hug.

"Hi, Dad. I'm so happy you could come. I know how busy you are with work."

He smiled at his daughter. "Miss my little girl's high school graduation? Not on your life! It's a big occasion."

"Come on inside. Mom wants to see you."

Buffy led him inside the house. "How have you been? It feels like forever since I saw you. Did you have a good time at Prom with Kevin? I remember you telling me how much you were looking forward to it," Mr. Summers asked.

"I didn't go to the Prom with Kevin. We broke up over a month ago, Dad," she informed him.

"I'm sorry to hear that. I liked Kevin. May I ask what happened?"

Buffy shrugged. She couldn't tell her father all the details of her break-up with Kevin. It had been hard enough telling her mother. "We wanted different things. He and I weren't meant to be together."

"Oh."

"But I have a new boyfriend. You can meet him after graduation."

"Really? How long have you been seeing him?" Mr. Summers wanted to know.

"Close to a month now. We went to Prom together as friends and we started dating afterwards."

He smiled. "I can't wait to meet him."

Buffy knew that tone of voice. Angel was in for the third degree from her father. `Uh-oh. Better warn Angel.'

********

24

"I didn't like the way he said it," Buffy told Willow, Cordelia and Xander before the graduation ceremony. "He went into over-protective dad mode. Now I'm worried about what he's going to say."

"It'll be fine, Buffy," reassured Willow. "I felt the same way when my parents met Oz. I thought my Dad was going to demand a written biography of Oz's life. Turns out I was only overreacting, because they were totally cool."

Buffy shook her head. "There's a big difference between our boyfriends, Willow. Oz is nineteen, Angel's twenty-seven. I know my dad is going to bring up the age difference."

"So?" Cordelia asked. "What's the big deal? It's only a couple years. It's not like it's a problem for you guys."

"Angel and I don't care how much of an age difference there is, but Dad will. Nine years. He was born in `seventy-one, me in `eighty-one. My father's going to flip."

Xander snickered. "It never occurred to me until now, but Angel's really robbing the cradle with you."

Buffy silenced her friend with a glare. "Shut up, Xander."

"Buffy, maybe your Dad will surprise you and not bring it up," Willow said.

"Maybe. But I won't hold my breath. One look at Angel and Dad's going to know he's way older than me."

"Think of it this way," Xander started. "At least he's not as old as Principal Snyder."

The three girls groaned. "Like, eww. That was a mental image I *so* didn't need," commented Cordelia.

********

The auditorium of Sunnydale High was already packed with relatives of the graduates by the time Angel arrived. All the front rows were filled, not an empty seat to be seen except in the back half of the room. He looked around for Mrs. Summers, needing to ask her a question and having promised to sit with her during the ceremony, but found her sitting with an older man he assumed to be Hank Summers. There was not an empty seat around them, so Angel sat himself in the closest aisle seat he could find.

Graduation began precisely at six o'clock. The chords of "Pomp and Circumstance" filled the auditorium as the one hundred graduates walked down the aisle. Angel grinned as Buffy walked by him, mouthing an "I love you" to her boyfriend. When they were all seated, Principal Snyder took the podium.

"Congratulations to the Class of 1999. You've all proved more or less adequate. This is a time for celebration, so sit still and be quiet," he addressed them.

Angel raised his eyebrows in wonder. Giles had told him that the man was very straight-forward, but Angel never expected this. `Now I can see why Buffy calls him a troll.'

He listened with interest as Mayor Richard Wilkins III gave his keynote speech and as the valedictorian gave her take on the past four years and on the future that lay ahead. Finally, after what seemed like hours, the graduates lined up to receive their diplomas. Student after student walked across the stage, holding up their diplomas as a sign of victory. Angel laughed out loud when Xander danced his way across the stage.

"Buffy Anne Summers," Principal Snyder called with a hint of disdain in his voice.

Buffy shook his hand, using her strength to make the short man wince in pain. She took the diploma out of his other hand and glided across the stage, searching the audience for Angel. Upon finding him, she winked and pointed to her diploma with a delighted grin. `I made it,' she thought. `I survived high school.'

********

Mr. and Mrs. Summers made their way through the crowd of people outside the school after the ceremony ended. They were in search of Buffy, and Mrs. Summers wanted to see Angel. He had called earlier that morning, informing her that he needed to ask her a question.

Mr. Summers tapped his ex-wife on the shoulder. "Why don't you go on ahead and find Buffy. I'll be there in a minute. I see someone I want to say hello to."

She nodded, having caught sight of Angel talking to Giles. "Fine. I'll tell Buffy you'll be right over."

He headed to his left, reaching his intended. "Hello, Kevin."

Kevin Matthews looked at the father of his ex-girlfriend. "Mr. Summers. It's nice to see you again."

"Same here. How have you been doing?" Mr. Summers wanted to know.

"Very well, thank you. And yourself?"

"Good. I was sorry to hear that you and Buffy broke up."

Kevin shrugged. "She didn't want the same thing I did. Buffy wasn't mature enough to handle the kind of relationship I wanted."

"Really? That's interesting," he commented, hoping Kevin would divulge more information. Buffy hadn't given him the specifics on the breakup.

"You're a man, Mr. Summers. How would you feel if you dated a girl for over a year and she refused to have sex with you? You'd break up with her too."

Mr. Summers balled his fists at his sides. "So what you're saying is that you broke up with my daughter because she wouldn't have sex with you?" Kevin nodded, not realizing his mistake. "Good for Buffy."

"Huh?"

Mr. Summers glared at the boy. "You bastard. Kevin, I used to think you loved my daughter, but I'm guessing you were only using her. I'm glad Buffy had the common sense to say no to you. And you should consider yourself lucky I'm not pounding you into the ground for using my little girl like that."

"Mr. Summers, it wasn't as bad as you're making it sound," he tried to explain.

"If I catch you within five feet of Buffy, or hear that you caused her even an ounce of pain, I will put you in the hospital." Without another word, Mr. Summers walked away.

********

"Do you think she'll like it?" Angel asked.

Mrs. Summers smiled. "Buffy is going to love it. I know she will."

"You don't think it's too much too soon? Because Buffy wants to take things slow. I don't want to scare her with this present."

"Not at all. She'll be thrilled, if I know my daughter. And I want you to know that I trust you, Angel."

"That means a lot."

"I can see how much you love Buffy, and I can tell that you respect her enough not to push."

"I'd wait forever for her." Angel glanced at the love of his life, standing fifteen feet away talking to Willow and Cordelia. "She's everything to me, and I'm not going to ruin it by forcing her into something she's not ready for."

"Well, I better go congratulate Buffy. Will you be coming to the party?" Mrs. Summers wanted to know.

Angel nodded. "I just have to stop at home and pick up Buffy's presents."

********

He was the first one to arrive at the Summers' house, showing up at quarter to eight. The presents he bought for Buffy sat in the inside pocket of his jacket, waiting for the perfect moment to be given. Angel rang the back doorbell.

Buffy ran to the door, seeing him through the window. When she opened the door, she wrapped her arms around his neck, bringing his head down so she could kiss him softly. "Hi, you. You're the first to get here."

"Lucky me. Congratulations."

She smiled at him, flashing her white teeth. "You already said that today, silly."

"I wanted to say it again."

Shaking her head, Buffy laughed. "You're crazy. Come on in, Mom and Dad are in the dining room."

A lump immediately formed in Angel's throat at the prospect of meeting Buffy's father. He followed her into the dining room. He saw Mrs. Summers sitting at one end of the table and a large, dark blonde haired man sitting at the opposite end. His heart rate rapidly increased.

"Dad, I'd like you to meet Angel Reilly. Angel, this is my dad, Hank Summers," introduced Buffy. She silently prayed that her father behaved like a civilized human being.

He extended his hand to the young man standing next to his daughter. "It's nice to meet you, Angel. Buffy has told me a lot about you."

Angel shook the hand offered by Hank Summers, noticing that the man clutched it tightly. "Nice to meet you, too, sir." He smiled at Mrs. Summers. "Hello, Joyce."

"Nice to see you, Angel. Please, have a seat," she offered.

He did, Buffy taking the seat across from him.

"Where are you from, Angel?" Mr. Summers asked.

"I was born in San Francisco, but moved to Los Angeles when I was six."

Mr. Summers nodded. "Are you still in school or do you have a job?"

"I'm a tutor right now, which is how I met Buffy. But I graduated from UCLA three years ago with a Master's in History."

"Really?" He looked searchingly at Angel. "Exactly how old are you, Angel?"

The dreaded question. `Don't show your fear,' Angel told himself. "I'm twenty-seven."

"That makes you nine years older than Buffy. Don't you feel that that's a big age difference?"

Angel shook his head. "No, honestly, I don't. Age isn't important to me. What matters to me is who Buffy is, not how old she is."

"Still, it concerns me. That's almost a decade."

Buffy groaned. "Dad..." she warned.

"Mr. Summers, I want to let you know that I'm not setting Buffy up for a fall. I want to be with her for as long as she'll have me. No matter what happens, I'll be by her side. I love her."

Mr. Summers softened. He could feel that Angel's words were genuine, and could see how happy Buffy was with him. "You make Buffy happy; she's told me that. After what Kevin Matthews pulled, you had better keep her that way."

"That's exactly what I plan to do."

Mrs. Summers stood up. "Now that that's finished, why don't we go sit outside and wait for the guests."

"Fine with me," agreed Mr. Summers.

Angel shot Mrs. Summers a conspiratory glance. "Buffy, why don't you and Angel go up to your room until the guests arrive. I'm sure you two want to be alone for a little while."

"Alright."

They went upstairs to Buffy's bedroom, sitting next to each other on the bed. "Are you and my mom up to something?"

"Sort of. I wanted to be alone with you when I gave you your graduation present," Angel told her. "I got you two, actually. One for now and one for later."

"You didn't have to do that."

"I wanted to." Angel pulled out a flat, black velvet box from his pocket, handing it to her. "Open it."

Buffy took it in her hands. She slowly opened the box, gasping when she saw the contents. Sitting in the box was an emerald necklace adorned with diamonds. The emerald had been carved into the shape of a heart, crowned by a diamond larger than the others. She touched it, fearing it might disappear if she didn't.

"Angel," she whispered. "This is so beautiful. It looks expensive. You shouldn't have."

"I wanted to get you something special. When I found out that you'd be graduating on time, I went to the jeweler's to have it specially made for you. The necklace has twenty-seven diamonds on it; one for each year I waited for you. And the emerald is the May birthstone, standing for the month I finally found you," Angel explained.

She let the tears fall out of her eyes. "Nobody's ever given me something so beautiful. I love it; I'll cherish it forever."

Angel removed it from the box, reaching over to place it around Buffy's neck. When he clasped it, making certain it was secure, he kissed the nape of her neck.

"Buffy! Some of your friends are here!" Mrs. Summers called.

"Guess that's our cue," he said.

Before leaving the room, Buffy stopped to look in the mirror. She couldn't believe Angel had given her such a perfect, thoughtful, loving gift. "When do I get my other present?"

"Not until later, love."

********

25

"Oh my god," exclaimed Cordelia. "Where did you get that necklace?"

Buffy placed her hand over it, still unable to believe it was there; that it existed at all. Smiling, she said, "Angel gave it to me as a graduation present. Do you like it?"

"Like it?" she asked. "I love it." She took a closer look at it. "It's real, too. With that emerald and all those diamonds...geez, how many are there?"

"Twenty seven."

"You're kidding. Twenty seven diamonds -- real diamonds at that -- and one emerald, this necklace must have cost him a fortune."

Buffy shrugged. "He didn't say. Just said he had it specially made for me. And I didn't want to ask him, I would have sounded ungrateful."

"Well, if I had to take a guess, I'd say it cost close to two grand," guessed Cordelia.

Buffy almost choked on her potato chip. "Two thousand dollars? Are you serious?"

"Well, it's a ballpark figure, so I'm only guessing. But it wasn't cheap, Buffy. Man, how did you ever get so lucky? I was lucky to get a bracelet from Xander for my birthday, much less a two thousand dollar necklace as a graduation present. I'm willing to bet Angel's loaded and you're going to be getting some nice presents from now on."

"He said he got me two gifts."

Cordelia's eyes widened. "Angel got you something else? Christ, gorgeous, rich and generous. Does he have a brother? Better yet, can I just have him?"

Buffy laughed. "Hands off my boyfriend."

"I was only kidding. I wouldn't dream of taking him. For as much of a loser as Xander is, I would not trade him for the world."

Willow ran over to them, flushed and out of breath. "Hi, guys. Sorry I'm late. Oz and I got a little tied up."

"That's okay. You didn't really miss anything," Buffy told her.

"Are you crazy? Angel gives you the mother of all graduation gifts and you say that she didn't miss anything?" demanded Cordelia.

"What?" Willow asked. "What did Angel get you, Buffy?"

She pointed to her necklace. "This."

"Wow. It's beautiful."

"And expensive," added Cordelia. "And he got her something else too."

"There's more?"

"Uh-huh." The brunette caught sight of Xander waving to her from the other side of the yard. "Xander wants me. See you two in a bit." Under her breath, she mumbled, "Lucky bitch."

Buffy turned to Willow. "So, how come you're late?"

"I told you, Oz and I got tied up."

"Willow..."

Willow sighed. "Okay. You're my best friend, Buffy, so I should at least tell you. Can you keep a secret?"

"You know I can, Willow. Spill it already."

"Alright. After graduation, Oz and I went back to his place and...we...well, we..." She struggled to find the right words.

"What is it? Did something--" Then Buffy realized what her best friend was saying. "Willow, you and Oz...?"

Willow nodded. "Yep."

Buffy grabbed her hand, dragging her into the privacy of her own bedroom, closing the door behind them to insure nobody would overhear. "You slept with Oz?"

"Yeah. It wasn't like we planned it or something. I didn't wake up this morning and say ‘I'm going to have sex with Oz after graduation today.' It just sort of happened."

"Come on, I want details. Not *all* the details, but some details. How did it happen?"

"Like I said, we went back to his place and his parents weren't home. He said he wanted to give me my present. It was a song, a slow, beautiful song he wrote for me. So I kissed him and it just went on from there."

"How did you know, though? That you were ready?" Buffy wanted to know.

Willow bit her lip. "Do you know that voice in the back of your head that tells you to stop?"

Buffy nodded. "I'm on close, intimate terms with that voice."

"Well, when I started kissing Oz, it wasn't telling me to stop. Instead, I heard a voice that said, 'You love him. Show him how much; show him what he means to you.' That's when I knew I was ready."

She stared in awe of Willow. "Wow. What was it like?"

"It wasn't the way romance novels make it out to be. At first, it hurt. A lot. Like someone was ripping me apart from the inside. But it started hurting less and less, and then it started to feel good. I won't lie, Buffy, I cried, it hurt so much. It was worth it in the end to feel that close to Oz."

Amazed, Buffy shook her head. "I wonder if I'll ever get to experience something like that," she pondered.

"You mean you've never even thought about it?"

"Sure I have. I just don't know if it's ever going to happen."

"It will, Buffy."

"I don't know." Buffy grimaced. "Maybe I'm a prude for wanting to wait."

"You have to wait until it feels right," Willow said.

Buffy exhaled. "I could be dead and gone by the time I'm ready to sleep with someone. Right now, I'm living vicariously through my fantasies."

Willow grinned. "Would a certain tall, handsome Watcher-in-training play a starring role in those fantasies?" she teased.

"Perhaps. We better get back to the party before they start wondering what happened to us."

As they were walking down the stairs, Willow asked, "Didn't Cordelia say Angel got you something else?"

"Yeah. But I don't get it until later. The suspense is killing me."

********

The party ended at two in the morning, leaving the backyard filled with cans of soda, paper plates and napkins. The four remaining people -- Buffy, Angel and Mrs. and Mr. Summers -- spent an hour cleaning it all up.

"Let me help with the dishes, Mom," offered Buffy.

Mrs. Summers waved her away. "Your father and I can handle it. Don't worry. You two can go into the other room."

"Okay." Buffy knew Angel would be giving her the other present, and she couldn't wait. She was definitely excited.

"Looks like your party was a success," Angel said to her once they sat down in the living room.

"Seems so. I got a lot of compliments on the necklace you gave me." She giggled. "Cordy wanted to know if she could borrow you. I said no way."

He smirked. "I take it that means you're not ready to get rid of me yet?"

"Not by a longshot. You're stuck with me for a long time."

"Good. I can't think of anyone I'd rather be stuck with." He planted a kiss on her cheek. "Which reminds me, I believe I owe you another present."

"Angel, you really didn't have to. The necklace was more than enough," Buffy said.

He shook his head in disagreement. "I've already gotten the okay from your mother and Giles. Now all I need is your approval."

"My approval?" she asked. "For what?"

Angel took the two pieces of paper out of his pocket. "Remember when I told you how I wanted to visit my mother's grave and you said you'd go with me when I go?"

"Yes."

"How does this weekend sound?"

"What? What are you talking about, Angel?"

"I have in my hands two first class tickets leaving Friday evening for San Francisco."

Buffy's mouth fell open. "You want me to go away with you this weekend?"

"Only if you want to go, Buffy. I've arranged for the entire weekend. We'll leave Friday at seven and come back Monday at noon. I booked a room at the Sheraton with two double beds. But if you are at all uncomfortable with that, I'll book you a private room. Your mother already said yes, and Giles has agreed to take care of patrol. What do you say, Buffy?"

"It's too much. You shouldn't have done all of this."

"I told you already. I wanted to. Will you go to San Francisco with me this weekend?"

Buffy nodded. "Of course I will."

********

When Angel left half an hour later, Buffy ran into her bedroom to call Willow. She had promised to call when she received Angel's final gift.

"Will, it's me. Is it too late to be calling?" Buffy asked over the phone.

"No, I'm still up. Well, what happened?"

"Angel left a couple minutes ago. You wouldn't believe what else he got me."

"What?" Willow wanted to know.

"He's taking me to San Francisco this weekend."

"That is so awesome. So that means you'll be sharing a hotel room with him, right?"

"Uh-huh. I love the present; a weekend away from Sunnydale is so thoughtful of him. But I can't help wondering..."

Willow had an idea of where Buffy was headed. "You think he might expect something of you beyond kissing?"

"Yeah. We've been taking things slow since the incident with Giles and Geoffrey Kensington. And it's been working out great; getting to know each other without worrying about what the other might think. I love him, no doubt about it. But what if this trip is his way of saying he wants to speed things up?"

"Do you think it is?"

"I don't know. I trust Angel, and most of me says no, he wouldn't do that. And a smaller part of me says he's only taking me to San Francisco so we can sleep together," Buffy told her.

"Do you want to sleep with him?"

"A little bit personal, don'tcha think, Will?"

"Buffy, with everything I told you about me and Oz, I would think you could confide in me. Do you?"

Buffy thought she'd need time to think about her answer, but she didn't. "Yes. I want to make love to him. But I don't know if I'm ready for that this weekend."

"The only thing I can tell you is to wait and see. When you're ready, you'll know it. And if Angel expects it this weekend and you don't want to, maybe he isn't the man you think he is."

"You're right, Willow. I won't know until we get there. I'm just going to have to wait and see."

********

26

Cordelia and Willow dragged Buffy into the store. They were at the mall helping her shop for clothes for her weekend in San Francisco. Buffy and Angel were leaving later that day, but Cordelia insisted on a last-minute shopping spree.

"I've packed more than enough stuff. I'm only going for two days," Buffy admonished.

"Yes, but you need something special to wear," Cordelia said.

"I don't think I'm going to find it here." Buffy looked around. "No, I know it."

"Buffy," Cordelia started. "You're going away with Angel for an entire weekend. Three nights in a hotel room with a man whose bones you *so* obviously want to jump. And you're going to wear flannel pajamas to bed? No way."

Buffy sighed. "Cordy, I'm not wearing one of these things to sleep. God, they don't even cover anything."

Cordelia laughed at Buffy's naiveté. "I believe that's the whole point. It's not supposed to cover anything."

Willow held up a see-through garment. "Check this one out. It's so short."

"I hardly doubt these could be considered bedtime wear."

"Come on, live a little, Buffy."

She shook her head. "Not in that thing."

Cordelia gave up. "Fine. Look, you guys go off and I'll meet you in the food court in twenty minutes."

"Okay." Willow and Buffy left the lingerie shop, heading for the music store.

"Are you excited about tonight?" Willow wanted to know.

"Yeah, I am. Two whole days away from Sunnydale is just what I need."

Willow smiled. "Actually, I was talking about spending the weekend with Angel."

"Yeah, like I don't know what you're getting at, Will. Yes, I'm excited. But I'm nervous, too."

"About sleeping in the same room with him?"

"Kinda. I mean, I've slept in the same bed with him before, but that was before the whole 'us as a couple' thing."

"So you'll be uncomfortable?"

"I don't know. He did say two beds, so we'll see what happens, and Angel told me if I felt weird he'd book me my own room."

"See, at least he's accommodating. Buffy, do you think that...have you thought about...sleeping with him?"

Buffy shut her eyes. "Yeah."

"Yeah as in 'yes, I've thought about it' or as in 'yes, I'm going to sleep with him'?"

"The first one. I still don't think I'm ready yet. But who knows, maybe things'll change this weekend."

Fifteen minutes later, Cordelia joined them in the food court. "I'm back."

"We missed you," commented Willow.

"Yep, we did." Buffy looked at the package Cordelia was carrying. "What did you get?"

"Something for you, actually."

"Me?" Buffy asked with raised eyebrows. "What is it?"

Cordelia handed her the bag. "Open it and find out."

Buffy opened the box, unwrapping the tissue paper around the contents. She held it up, finding a light blue satin nightgown so thin Buffy could see Willow through the material. "Thanks, Cordy, but I don't think I will be getting any use out of it this weekend."

"Bring it with you."

"It was a nice thought, but I don't think so."

********

Buffy and Angel landed in San Francisco at seven-thirty, and he rented a black convertible for the weekend. The Sheraton was located only a few miles from the airport, so they arrived at the hotel by eight. With their suitcases in hand, Angel led her to the lobby. He put their bags down when they reached the reception desk.

"Hello, Sir. Do you have a reservation?" the man behind the desk asked.

"Yes, I do. Angel Reilly."

The man searched the computer screen. "Ah, yes. Three nights." He eyed Buffy suspiciously, but said nothing. "That'll be nine-fifty. Credit card only."

Buffy's eyes widened with shock. 'Nine hundred and fifty dollars? That's insane.'

Angel placed his Visa card on the counter. He glanced at Buffy, who stood a few feet behind him, and flashed her a smile. She returned it.

The man returned the credit card to Angel. "Everything's all set, Sir. Your room is ready, here is your key. Your young lady and yourself will be staying in room 503. Do you need assistance with your suitcases? I can ring for a bellhop."

"No, thank you. I can carry them myself." Picking up the bags once more, they walked to the elevator.

The doors closed in front of them after they stepped inside. Angel pressed the button labeled 5. "Angel?" Buffy asked.

"Yeah, Buffy?"

"How much does this room cost a night?"

"Why?"

"I want to know. I'm curious, I guess."

"A little over three hundred a night."

She coughed. "It's so expensive for a hotel room. Why would you spend so much? And can you even afford it?"

"Buffy, please don't worry about it. Everything's taken care of."

They didn't say anything until Angel opened the door to their hotel room.

Buffy gasped out loud when she saw the room.

"It's huge! This room is bigger than my entire house."

"So you like it?"

"I love it."

She walked around the room, which had its own kitchen, couch, walk-in closets and a private balcony with an unobstructed view of the Golden Gate Bridge. Two double beds sat near the entrance to the balcony, with a TV and VCR, small refrigerator and two dressers.

"I'm glad you like it," Angel said to her.

"This is so great. Thank you."

"Is there anything special you wanted to do tonight?"

The question threw Buffy. 'Oh God. He does expect something this weekend. What am I going to do now?' "Nothing I can think of. What do you want to do?" She really wanted to hear what he had to say.

Angel shrugged. "I was hoping you had an idea. Truthfully, I wouldn't mind just sitting here in the room and relaxing and watching television."

"That's fine with me. Relaxing is good."

"That is why I brought you here. So you could relax."

Buffy took her bag and lifted it off the bed. "I'm going to take a shower, okay?"

"Sure. I'll find something for us to watch."

"Okay."

Buffy walked into the bathroom and undressed herself. She took a towel off the rack, carrying it into the shower with her. Under the hot water, she began to wonder what the weekend held for her, for them. They were going to visit Carolyn Reilly's grave Saturday morning, but Buffy didn't know what Angel had planned for them after that. It finally dawned on her that she was alone with him for over two days. More than forty-eight hours to learn more about each other. 'But how much?' she wondered.

'Stop it, Buffy. You need to stop worrying so much. If anything happens that you don't want to, all you have to do is say no. Angel will understand,' Buffy told herself. 'I think.'

She got out of the shower, thoroughly cleaned and ready for the relaxing night ahead of her. Opening her suitcase, she pulled out a tank top and a pair of flannel pants. "Oh, what the hell," she said, grabbing the nightgown Cordelia bought for her, putting it on. Taking a look in the mirror, Buffy felt self-conscious. She could see right through the material. It was too embarrassing to wear in front of Angel. Searching through her suitcase, Buffy found the robe she'd packed. Quickly, she put it on.

"All done," Buffy said when she returned to the room where Angel sat on the couch.

"I found something we can watch. How do you feel about Sleepless In Seattle? It's on at nine," Angel suggested.

"Works for me."

They walked over to the bed and Angel turned on the television while Buffy sat down.

"Do you mind if I sit next to you?" he asked.

She smiled. "Not at all. It's a big bed. Plenty of room for one more."

Angel sat next to her. He stayed at least half a foot away, wanting to give her some personal space in case she felt uncomfortable. He was pleasantly surprised when she moved over, her arm pressed against his.

Neither one moved in the course of the two hour movie. They sat with their backs against the headboard, holding hands. Buffy tried her best to keep her eyes opened. She leaned her head on his shoulder, her robe falling off her shoulder, revealing the thin strap of her nightgown. Noticing, Angel reached over to fix it.

She had fallen asleep by the time the movie ended. "Buffy?" Angel whispered. "Buffy, wake up. The movie's over."

"Umm," she moaned, opening her eyes. "What's going on?"

"You fell asleep," he told her with a loving smile. "The movie's over. Why don't we go to sleep."

"Okay," she agreed, yawning.

He climbed off the bed and went into the bathroom to change. Buffy removed her robe and hung it in the closet, returning to her bed, covering herself up to her chin. She moved to the far side of the bed, expecting Angel to join her.

When he came out of the bathroom, he turned off the light and laid down in his own bed. Buffy was disappointed, but relieved at the same time. "Good night, Angel."

"Good night, Buffy."

********

27

Buffy awoke to the sound of running water coming from the bathroom. Turning her head, after rubbing the remnants of sleep from her eyes, she found the bed next to her empty. The clock on the bedstand read eight thirty-four, making her moan. She liked sleeping in on weekends, not waking up before nine.

"Ugh," she said, getting out of bed and putting her robe on over her revealing nightgown.

Buffy pulled her suitcase onto the bed, deciding to unpack while Angel showered. She kept a pair of black jean shorts, a white blouse and a sweatshirt aside for her to wear that day. Just as she finished hanging up the last of her clothes, Angel entered the room. She was more than a little surprised to see him walking around wearing only a towel around his waist. Her heart raced.

"Morning," she said, stepping out of the closet.

He was caught off-guard. "Buffy, I didn't realize you were up. I thought you would still be sleeping."

"So you thought you'd walk around the room in a towel while Buffy was asleep?" she commented with a laugh.

Angel's cheeks turned a bright red. "I forgot my pants and thought I could sneak in here without waking you."

"Well, I'm awake. But I won't look." Buffy moved to face the other way, the image of him wrapped in a towel burned into her memory.

He found a pair of pants and went back into the bathroom. Sighing a breath of relief, Angel dropped the towel and began to get dressed. After shaving and combing his hair, he returned to the room, finding Buffy fully dressed. He frowned slightly. ‘What did you expect to find? Buffy waiting on the bed and begging you to touch her? Don't be stupid.'

"All done in the bathroom?"

"Yeah. Sorry I took so long," Angel apologized.

"Well, I'll forgive you this time," she joked. "I won't be long. Just have to fix my bed head. My hair is probably doing wacky things."

"You look fine."

She shook her head. "Trust me, no I don't. I'll be out in a few minutes."

"Would you like me to order some room service?" Angel asked. "They've got eggs, bacon, pancakes, french toast and omelets. What would you like?"

Buffy laughed. "How about all of the above? I'm starving. But seriously, anything is fine. I'll be out in a few minutes."

Angel picked up the phone, calling for room service. He ordered a little bit of everything: scrambled eggs, pancakes, french toast, muffins, bacon, sausage and juice. He'd finished ordering mere seconds before Buffy left the bathroom.

"So, what did you order for me?" she asked.

"You'll have to wait and see."

She crunched up her face in an expression of annoyance. "I hate that."

"What?"

"When people say that to me. I don't like surprises."

"You said you were starving," Angel pointed out.

"True. How long until it gets here?"

Angel shrugged. "They didn't say. But I would assume twenty minutes or so."

"Alright. Do you mind if I give my mother a call? Let her know I'm here and still alive."

"You don't need to ask me."

"I was being polite."

She dialed her home phone number. Mrs. Summers picked up on the third ring. "Hello?"

"Hi, Mom. It's me."

"Buffy. How's your trip so far?'

"So far so good. You should see our hotel room. You could fit our entire house in here."

Mrs. Summers laughed. "Angel informed me the hotel would be nice."

"It is."

"How is Angel?"

"Good. We chilled out here last night."

"Honey, I don't want to ask you this, but I feel I have to. Are you being careful?"

Buffy glanced at Angel, who sat on the couch reading a magazine. "Mom!"

"Sorry, but I want to make sure."

"You don't have to worry, my virtue is still intact. Angel hasn't even attempted to kiss me since we got here," she whispered.

"Well, that's a load off my mind. Not that I don't trust you two, but..."

"I know what you mean. He's not like other guys, he didn't bring me here to have sex, Mom."

"Yeah, I know. I told him I trusted him and I do. But I know how things can get out of control, Buffy."

"I'm a big girl, Mom. If he tries anything I can kick his ass." There was a knock on the door, and Angel returned a minute later with a cart of food. "I gotta go, room service is here. I'll see you Monday. Bye, Mom."

Before hanging up, Mrs. Summers replied. "Bye, honey. Be careful this weekend."

Buffy met Angel at the table in the kitchen area. "God, how much food did you order?" she asked, looking wide-eyed at all the food.

"A little of everything."

"You weren't kidding. There's enough food here for an army."

"Or for a hungry Slayer."

"Well, what are we waiting for? Let's dig in."

********

"You must have a great sense of direction if you can remember how to get here after three years," commented Buffy.

They drove slowly down the narrow path through the cemetery. Grave after grave, they all looked the same to Buffy. But she remained keenly aware that each one was a lasting reminder of a lost life.

"I don't think I'm likely to forget how to get here. It's only a little further down the road. We'll be there in a minute," said Angel.

She nodded, staring at all the gravestones, knowing that one of them held Angel's mother. The car came to a stop and he cut the engine. Buffy opened the door, clutching her purse and several red carnations. She linked arms with Angel, him leading her to his mother's grave.

A marble carving of an angel jutted from the ground. It read CAROLYN ELIZABETH REILLY. DAUGHTER, MOTHER AND PROTECTOR. December 27, 1957 -August 7, 1977.

"She was killed on my sixth birthday."

"Oh, Angel. How horrible."

"I've always hated celebrating my birthday. Geoffrey used to make me celebrate the day after because I'd associate August 7th with the day she died. Now, I haven't even bothered in three years. It's just another day to me," Angel told her.

"I'm so sorry, Angel. I didn't realize."

He smiled at her. "That's okay." He placed half a dozen red roses on the grass in front of the headstone, saying a silent prayer. Buffy did likewise, but instead of praying, she thanked Carolyn for giving her the man she loved.

Angel wiped away his solitary tear with the back of his hand. He'd expected to be emotional, but didn't want Buffy to see his tears. However, she saw.

"Angel? Are you okay?"

"Yeah. A little overwhelmed is all."

"Do you want to stay awhile longer?"

He shook his head. "I think I'm ready to go."

They walked back to the car hand in hand. He held the door open for her like the gentleman he was. When they reached the road once again, Buffy asked him what he had planned for the rest of the day.

"It's a surprise."

"You know I hate surprises."

"You'll love this one."

********

Love it she did. Angel took her to dinner at a fancy Italian restaurant, remembering that it was her favorite type of food. He topped it off with a sunset boat ride through the San Francisco Bay. Nothing made him happier than seeing Buffy stand behind the railing, the wind blowing her blonde hair around her face. He had instructed that several pieces of blank drawing paper and a pencil be left inside a box for him. With it, Angel drew a picture of Buffy, capturing the essence of her joy on the paper. He handed it to her when they returned to the hotel room that night.

"Angel, this is beautiful. I didn't know you could draw," Buffy said.

"I used to do it a lot as a kid. Kept me busy."

"Can I ask you something?"

"Of course. Anything."

Buffy swallowed, trying to find the right words. "I don't want to seem ungrateful or rude, but how can you afford all this? Unless the Council pays you guys more than I thought they did."

"Money isn't an issue. It never will be. My grandparents died when I was two. They were large percentage shareholders in several big corporations, and when they died, it all went to my mother. And when she died, it was passed on to me. I officially inherited it all, all three hundred million of it, when I turned eighteen," he explained.

"So, you're rich. Very rich, actually. Cordy was right."

"How?"

"The necklace you gave me. She could tell it cost a fortune."

"I told you, money isn't an issue. My life isn't an extravagant one. And if I have it, I can't think of anyone I'd rather spend it on than the woman I love."

"That is me, right?"

He smiled. "Who else?"

They stayed up until one in the morning. Angel suggested they get some rest for tomorrow and they retired to their separate beds. Buffy lay there for half an hour listening to the sounds of his breathing. Hopping out of bed, she made her way over to Angel's.

The covers covered him only to his waist. Buffy lifted them before joining him. She covered herself, then planted kisses along his strong jawline. He stirred in his sleep, awakened by Buffy's kisses. Moaning from the disruption, he opened his eyes, staring right into Buffy's.

"What's going on?" he asked.

"I'm kissing you."

"Why?"

"Because I want to thank you for tonight." She brought her lips to his, fulling awakening him. He rolled to the side, facing her.

Angel pulled her close to him, returning the kiss with a hunger and need all his own. He felt her hands stroke his back, up and down from his neck to the waist of his boxer shorts. His did the same to her, only when they reached the waistband of her pants, he lifted the shirt she wore with his hand. It slipped under the cotton material, making contact with the warm skin beneath.

He lightly touched her skin, moving his hands along her sides, molding to fit every last curve. Angel closed his eyes when his hands reached the curves of her breasts. His fingers took on a life of their own, wandering over the flesh to feel her, for more contact with her exquisite body.

Moving on from her lips, Angel trailed across her cheeks to her ears and then to her neck. He sucked and licked and bit softly at the tender skin, becoming more than aroused by the affect her body was having on him. He wanted to make love to her.

Buffy exhilarated in what he was doing to her until she realized what it was doing to him. She became aware of his arousal and got scared. "Angel?"

"Hmm?" he asked, his face at the column of her throat.

"I want to stop. Please," she begged.

"What's the matter?"

Tears rolled out of her eyes and onto his arm. "I'm scared."

He wiped the tears away with his thumb. "It's okay, you don't have to cry."

"I'm so sorry. I didn't mean to do that to you," she said through her tears. "You probably hate me for leading you on like that."

"No. You didn't lead me on."

"Angel, you're lying. I felt it, just like you felt it."

He brushed the stray hairs from her face. "Honestly, Buffy, I did feel it. I wanted to make love to you; I still do. But if it's too soon for you, I'll wait until you're ready."

"I don't know if I'll ever be ready." A fresh batch of tears fell.

"Today isn't the day. Maybe tomorrow isn't either. But when you are ready, Buffy, I will be here."

She found it unbelievable that he said that; that he'd still want to be with her after all she had just done. "You'd wait for me?"

"Forever, Buffy. I'll wait forever." He took her in his arms and let her cry until they both fell asleep.

********

28

Angel didn't want to wake her up. She was sleeping so soundly, he couldn't bear to rouse her. His right arm still lay across her side, his palm flat on her stomach. He smiled, but it turned to a frown, recalling the events of last night. They'd been so close to gaining everything they wanted -- closeness with each other. The closeness they could only attain through true intimacy.

But watching Buffy sleep made Angel realize how close he felt to her right then. Maybe they weren't ready for that kind of intimacy yet, but that didn't mean they couldn't be close. He wanted closeness with Buffy, and he was willing to wait until she was ready.

She stirred, as if she knew what he was thinking. Her back pressed harder against his chest, her legs stretching out. She turned her head to the right, seeing Angel watching her. It reminded her of waking up next to him the morning after Prom. "Hi," she greeted with a tinge of nervousness.

"Good morning." Angel removed his hand. "How did you sleep?"

"Okay."

Buffy got up from the bed and brought her eyes up to look at him. When she saw his face, she couldn't help but remember the night before. How she'd felt him pressed against her leg, his hands under her shirt, his mouth all over her head and neck. Suddenly, she couldn't look at him, despite his soothing words. Casting her eyes to the ground, she moved toward the bathroom.

"I-I'm going to get dressed."

"Buffy? Are you okay?"

"Yeah, sure. Why do you ask?"

"Because you won't look at me. Is it because of last night? Buffy, I told you I'd wait. For however long it takes," Angel said.

"I'm fine."

Buffy walked into the bathroom, closing the door behind her. She glanced at her reflection in the mirror, seeing the girl with the puffy eyes and red cheeks. Trying to keep the tears out of her eyes, Buffy turned on the water, bringing a handful to her face. She felt so sick, like she might throw up.

'What am I going to do? I can't even look in his eyes without remembering last night. How am I supposed to spend the next twenty-four hours with him after what we did? Or almost did?'

Drying off her face, Buffy decided to act as though nothing had happened between them. She got dressed and went back into the room. Angel sat on the couch, watching her out of the corner of his eye.

"What's for breakfast?" she asked.

Angel was relieved. She was talking to him. "Whatever you like."

"I'm in the mood for a ham and cheese omelette."

He nodded. "Alright. I'll order room service. Are you sure you're okay?"

"Peachy. Just hungry."

"Do you want to talk about it? Last night?"

She shook her head. "There's nothing to talk about. We talked last night, remember?"

"No, Buffy. You need to understand that I didn't mean to scare you."

Her lower lip trembled. "I know. It was my fault. I knew I wasn't ready, but I came into your bed anyway and started something I knew I couldn't finish. I'm sorry."

"Don't apologize. I played a big role in this, too. I shouldn't have done what I did."

She closed her eyes, then opened them. "Where does that leave us? Back where we started? ‘Cause I liked the slow thing, but not that slow. But last night was too fast."

"You're right. It was. We need to find some kind of middle ground," agreed Angel.

"'Kay. Nothing too stimulating."

"That works for me."

"We're in agreement. And, Angel?"

"Yes?"

She gave him a half-smile. "When I'm ready, you'll be the first to know."

********

"What do you think they're doing?" Xander questioned. "Wonder if they're getting horizontal."

Cordelia slapped her boyfriend on the arm. "Xander! Is that all you think about?"

"Well, she's away with him, in a hotel room, mind you, and you think nothing's going to happen?"

"He booked a room with two beds," Willow informed him. "And if Buffy doesn't want anything to happen, nothing'll happen."

"What if he pressures her?"

Oz sighed and laughed. "Remember Kevin? He pressured her and look where is now."

"Buffy-less and miserable," Cordelia said with a chuckle. "How appropriate for him."

"Xander, don't worry so much about Buffy. She can take care of herself. And Angel's too honorable to try anything. He strikes me as the type to wait until it's right for both of them," Willow said, trying to comfort Xander.

He wasn't convinced. "He may be honorable, but Watcher Guy is still a guy. Which means he's still gonna want to...well, get it on."

Cordelia stood up. "Do you want to get horizontal? Get it on? Because if you keep this up, it won't be happening with me."

"Cordy!"

"Can't you let Buffy make her own decisions without making it your personal business?" she shot at him.

"It is my business."

She shook her head. "No it's not. It is Buffy's personal business if she sleeps with Angel. Not yours." Cordelia tried to imagine her friend in a passionate kiss with Angel. I get Xander, scrawny boy nightmares are made of. And Buffy gets Angel, the type of man girls have sexual fantasies about. How unfair is that?' She took off.

"I guess I should go apologize to Cordy for acting like a..."

"A guy?" Oz suggested.

"Yeah. Bye, guys." He went off in the same direction as Cordelia.

Oz glanced at his girlfriend. "Well, that was interesting."

"Oh yeah." She bit her lip. "Oz, do you think that they did?"

"Did?"

Willow laughed. "I shouldn't be thinking about this. She's my best friend, she'll tell me. But I wanna know now! Buffy said she might...you know...sleep with him if she felt ready. I'm dying to know."

"Will, don't you think that's exactly what Xander said?"

"No. Yes. Maybe. I can't wait until she gets back and I get to find out what happened."

********

"Are you dressed?" Angel asked from outside the bathroom, later that day.

He and Buffy had spent the day shopping. Although they felt comfortable with each other, Angel wanted to make it up to her, and he had arranged for the perfect evening.

The bathroom door opened, and Buffy walked out. During their shopping trip, Buffy saw a dress that she loved, and Angel bought it for her. She beamed with delight when he handed her the package. He'd never seen a more beautiful sight then when he saw Buffy leave the bathroom wearing the dress he bought for her.

She wore a strapless white dress, made of satin and lace, with a sweetheart neckline. It floated to the floor, where her feet were fitted into a pair of white sandals. Her hair cascaded past her shoulders, straight and glowing.

Angel's breath caught in his throat. "Buffy, you look...words can't describe how lovely you look. You take my breath away."

"I'll take that as a compliment. And you look very handsome."

He did. Angel wore a suit similar to the one he'd worn on their first date. Black trousers, white shirt, black suit coat and a navy blue silk tie. "Thank you. Ready to go?"

She nodded her head. "Yep. Where are you taking me, anyway?"

"You'll see."

Groaning, she gave Angel her hand. All he had told her was that he had something special planned. And as much as she hated surprises, she trusted Angel.

It took twenty minutes to get to the restaurant Angel made reservations at. Taking one look at it, Buffy knew it was an expensive restaurant, and that she was, indeed, in for a special night.

They approached the maitre'd "Reservations for Reilly," Angel told him.

"Yes. Table for two in our most romantic spot. Please follow me," he told the two, flashing them a genuine smile.

Buffy and Angel followed him, and upon reaching the table, Angel held out her chair for her. He took a seat and took the menus from the maitre’d.

"May I bring you the wine list, sir?"

"No, thank you. We'll have two waters, please," Angel told him.

The maitre 'd nodded once and left them alone. "This place is beautiful," Buffy said.

A waiter came over and placed two long, white candles on the table, lighting them.

"What's this about?" she asked.

"The gentleman requested a candlelight dinner," the waiter answered.

Angel grinned. "I hope you like it. This is my way of apologizing for last night. You deserve a special night."

"Thank you, Angel."

"You don't have to thank me. Just forgive me."

She grabbed his hand, holding it in the middle of the table. "It's okay. You don't need my forgiveness. I love you, Angel. Don't worry about what you did, you didn't do anything that doesn't come naturally. I only want you to love me."

"I do."

Dinner was as romantic as Angel hoped it would be. He wanted to show Buffy how much she meant to him; that he didn't need to make love to her to show her how deep his love went. It was a perfect evening for both of them.

"Thank you again. Tonight was so special to me," Buffy said to him when they got back to the hotel.

"It was special to me, too." He lifted her chin and kissed her. The kiss held the promise of something more, but Angel held back the passion, not wanting to frighten her again. She put her arms around his neck, keeping him close to her.

Angel felt that it was going too far. "We should stop," he said.

"Why?"

"Because I don't want to repeat last night's mistake."

"We won't."

He disagreed. "Buffy, pretty soon things will get out of control like they did last night. And I'm going to unzip your dress and I will want more than you're ready to give. I won't be able to stop myself."

"I'll stop you."

"No. I'm not going to put you through that again."

Buffy relented, seeing that nothing she could say would change his mind. They got ready for bed on their last night in San Francisco. She asked him if she could sleep in his bed and Angel agreed. They just thrilled in falling asleep in the arms of the one they loved.

********

29

By two the next afternoon, they were standing on the Summers' front porch, locked in a heated kiss.

"I could get used to this," Buffy said between kisses.

"I hoped you already had," Angel replied.

She smiled. "Well, I have. But I still can't get over that I can."

"Can what?"

"Kiss you." She gave him another one. "Tonight and tomorrow morning are going to be really hard, you know that?"

"Why's that?"

Buffy wrapped her arms around Angel, pressing her cheek against his shoulder. "Because I won't be able to fall asleep in your arms and wake up next to you. I like having you be the first person I see in the morning."

"It'll be hard for me, too, Buffy. We knew this was only for a weekend."

"Why couldn't it be forever?"

"We're not ready for forever yet." He hugged her close. "Maybe someday soon," he whispered, barely audible.

She looked back up at him. "This was the best weekend of my life. Thank you so much, Angel."

"You're welcome." He leaned down to kiss her quickly on the lips. "I should go home and unpack."

Buffy frowned. "Do you have to go? We just got here."

"I'll be back for dinner. Remember, your mom invited me over?"

"Alright, if you have to go. But be back here at six o'clock sharp," Buffy ordered.

"Wouldn't miss it. I'll see you then." Angel stepped off the porch and got into his car. He blew Buffy a kiss before pulling out of the driveway.

Buffy entered the house. "Mom! I'm home," she called.

Mrs. Summers came down the stairs. "Welcome home, honey. How was San Francisco?"

"It was nice. I had a really good time."

"Did you and Angel do anything special while you were there?" Buffy's mother wanted to know.

"Yes we did. But, do you mind if I put away my stuff first?"

Mrs. Summers nodded her head and smiled. "I'll help you. Want me to take one of your bags?"

"If you want to."

They walked up the stairs to Buffy's bedroom, each carrying a suitcase. "How much did you buy while you were there?"

"Some stuff."

Mrs. Summers held up the white dress Angel bought. "This is a beautiful dress, Buffy. This must have cost a fortune. Did your father give you money and not tell me about it?"

"No. Angel bought it for me yesterday."

"He must have had a reason."

Buffy hung up two blouses. "He did. Last night he took me out for a romantic candlelight dinner in a fancy restaurant."

Mrs. Summers narrowed her eyes. "Exactly how romantic, Buffy?" she asked suspiciously.

She sighed. "Not *that* romantic, Mom. Nothing happened. And before you ask, yes we slept in the same bed and no, I didn't have sex with him."

"I'm just concerned, Buffy. I want to make sure you're being careful."

"I am not some hormonal, lust-driven teenager. Angel and I know what we're doing."

"Did he try to pressure you at all this weekend?"

"No!" Buffy exclaimed. "God. I thought you trusted him."

She tried to put her arms around her daughter, but Buffy backed away. "Honey, I do. Angel promised me nothing would happen and I took his word for it. But I know how things can happen. Things get out of control, Buffy, and sometimes we can't stop it."

"Well, I did stop it."

"So something did happen?"

"Almost. But I said no and he acted like a perfect gentleman and didn't try to push it. He held me and we fell asleep. Are you happy now that you know? Does it please you to know that I got scared!?" she yelled at her mother.

Mrs. Summers hugged her daughter. "I'm sorry to upset you, Buffy. I should have more faith in you, but I'm still a mother. And you're still my baby. The thought of you being in such a serious relationship to the point where it could become sexual scares me, too."

"Believe me, not as much as it scares me. That's why Angel and I stopped. Because I got scared. He told me that it was okay, that he'd wait until I was ready. And he just held me all night. Angel's not like Kevin, he loves me and wants to be with me. If he didn't love me, he would have forced it."

Mrs. Summers nodded. "Just promise me that when you are ready, you'll be careful."

Buffy hugged her mom back. "I promise."

********

"Did anything supernatural occur while we were gone?" Angel asked Giles at the elder Watcher's apartment later that afternoon.

"Nothing to speak of. A few vampires, but nothing out of the ordinary," he informed Angel. "How was your weekend?

Angel smiled. "It was great."

"You and Buffy had a good time, I take it?"

"Yes we did."

"What did you do there?"

"Friday night we stayed in the room." He saw Giles raise his eyebrows. "Don't even think it, ‘cause I know you are. Saturday afternoon we visited my mother's grave and left her flowers."

Giles averted his eyes to the floor, away from Angel. "Carolyn, yes. I visited her shortly after I came to Sunnydale. Paid my respects."

He nodded solemnly. "I did that before I left for England. Anyway, Saturday night I rented a boat and took Buffy for a sunset cruise." He neglected to tell Giles of the events that night also held. "Sunday we went shopping and had dinner at an expensive restaurant I found there."

"And nothing happened between the two of you?"

Angel was offended. "I don't believe that's any of your business. What Buffy and I do on our personal time doesn't concern you. Particularly that kind of personal business."

"Angel, need I remind you--"

"Don't remind me. I don't want to hear what you have to say. It's dangerous, there are things I don't understand...fine. Until you give me specifics, don't give me generalizations," Angel told him angrily.

"We don't want you to get hurt."

"Forget it, Giles. Mind your own business where Buffy and I are concerned. I may have to learn from you as a Watcher, but you don't run my life. I may want you to see Buffy and I as a couple, as soulmates, but I won't let you tell me what to do."

"I cannot stand by and let you do this."

"Learn to." Angel left the apartment, slamming the door behind him.

********

"So it almost happened?" Willow asked, amazed.

Buffy shifted the phone to her other ear. "Yep. I got into his bed and started kissing him in his sleep. I don't know what came over me, I did it without thinking."

"Then what?"

"Angel woke up, he kissed me back and it started getting really...I don't know, I guess passionate. I wanted to be close to him, just be with him. He started to put his hand up my shirt, and, Will, I liked it, having him touch me. It made me feel beautiful and desirable," she explained.

"To him, Buffy, you are."

"I never felt like it. And I wanted to feel like that forever. But then I got scared. He...I felt him poking me with...I felt him, you know?"

"Yeah, I know what you mean."

"Sorry, I'm still a little uncomfortable around the subject. Willow, it scared the hell out of me. I wasn't ready and I asked him to stop. And he did. He was so sweet about it; said that he wanted to make love to me, but he'd wait and I love him for it."

"Angel's a stand-up kind of guy," Willow said.

"Uh-huh. Mom kinda flipped when I told her, but she's cool with it now. She understands that I need to make my own decisions and when I'm ready to sleep with Angel, I'll do it carefully."

"Wow. My mom would never be that cool with it."

Buffy chuckled. "I wonder what she really thinks. How she'll react when I finally do it."

********

After patrol, Buffy and Angel relaxed on the loveseat at her house, her legs resting on his lap. He ran his hands over the smooth skin. Buffy tried to pay attention to the movie they were watching, but she kept thinking about how his hands felt on her legs.

"That feels good," she said to him.

Angel smiled. "I guess you don't want me to stop then."

"Hell no."

Mrs. Summers came into the living room. "I'm going to bed, you two. Try not to stay up too late. Angel, it was nice to see you again."

"A pleasure as always, Joyce. I'll see you soon. Good night," he replied.

When Mrs. Summers disappeared from view, Angel continued stroking Buffy's legs. She liked it; if they couldn't be together physically, she'd settle for this.

"Did you talk to Giles?" she asked.

"Yes I did. We didn't miss anything earth-shattering."

"Did he want to know what happened, too?"

He snorted. "Of course."

"What did you tell him?"

"That it wasn't any of his business. Which it isn't. What goes on between me and you doesn't concern him."

Buffy sat up, swinging her legs off of him. "Have I told you how much I love you?"

"Not today."

"Why don't I show you." She straddled him, lowering her lips to his.

********

30

The whole gang sat in the lounge at the Bronze. They were enjoying a laid back Saturday night of dancing and just hanging out. Two weeks had passed since Buffy and Angel returned from San Francisco, continuing successfully with their middle-of-the-road relationship. Everything was working out fine.

"Don't those two ever stop?" Xander commented, pointing to Buffy and Angel, sitting on the couch engaging in a passionate embrace. "I mean, don't they know it's not polite to make out in a public forum?"

Cordelia smiled evilly. "Think of it this way, they have to come up for air sometime."

"Ha ha. Real funny, Cordy."

"Jealous much?"

Xander gave his girlfriend a strange look. "Of their prowess? I don't think so."

"Actually, I was thinking of you being jealous of Angel. Considering his lips are all over the object of your obsession," Cordelia told him.

"Hardly. I'm way over Buffy," he scoffed. "I find it disgusting in a public place, that's all."

Willow laughed. "I think they're cute. Look at them. They probably think they are the only people in the room. It is so adorable."

"Then you're obviously not seeing it from the angle I'm seeing it," said Xander.

"Oh, let them be, Xander."

"Not when it's right in front of my virgin eyes."

"Ha!" Cordelia turned his head and forced his lips on hers. "Better?"

He nodded. "Yeah." Glancing at Buffy and Angel, he groaned. They were still at it. "Hey! Isn't oxygen becoming an issue yet?"

They broke their embrace. "What?" Buffy asked.

"Get a room. Sheesh, didn't you guys have to breathe at all in the last twenty minutes?" Xander wanted to know.

"I'm a nose breather. Don't need to stop for air too often," Buffy explained with a mischievous grin. "Now that I think about it, it's probably a good thing we stopped."

"Why?" Angel asked.

"I was getting thirsty."

Cordelia laughed. "Not enough saliva between the two of you to keep you from dehydrating?"

"Cute. I need something to drink. Do you want anything, Angel?" Buffy asked her boyfriend.

"How about a hot chocolate? I could go for something sweet."

She nodded. "One hot chocolate coming up. Save my seat."

Buffy got off the couch and walked through the crowd of people to get to the refreshment counter. The line wasn't very long, so Buffy got the drinks -- a hot chocolate for Angel and a Dr. Pepper for herself -- in under five minutes. On her way back to the lounge, she felt someone tap her on the shoulder. She turned around to see who it was.

"Hi, Buffy," Kevin said.

She put on a fake smile. "Hello. What do you want?"

"I just wanted to say hi and see how you've been," he told her.

Buffy relaxed a little, not realizing that she had tensed up. "I'm doing good. How about you?"

"I'm okay. Been enjoying summer vacation so far?"

‘Why is he being so nice? Last time we talked he was hell-bent on humiliating me,' Buffy thought. "Yes, I have. I took a little vacation to San Francisco, but nothing out of the ordinary. Yourself?"

"Nothing special," Kevin answered. "Look, Buffy, the main reason I'm here is to apologize."

Buffy almost dropped the two drinks she held. "Apologize?"

"Yeah. For the way I treated you. It was wrong of me to assume that you'd have sex with me. I never should have given you an ultimatum. I don't know what was going through my head at the time," he apologized.

She showed no emotion. His apology meant nothing to her. Had he done it two months earlier, it might have made an impression, but not now. "I couldn't answer that, Kevin."

"I can't even answer it myself. And I also want to say I'm sorry for hurting your feelings. I said some things I didn't mean, things that I'm sure hurt you. You have to know that I never meant them. That was my anger talking, not me."

Buffy shrugged her shoulders. "Fine."

"Buffy, I was hoping this would make everything right with us. Can you forgive me?"

"I've put what you said and did behind me."

He sighed. "Good, I'm glad. Is there the remotest possibility that we could pick up where we left off before I became a colossal jerk and blew things between us?"

This shocked her. Kevin wants to get back together?' "I don't think so, Kevin. I can't forgive and forget."

"But you said you did."

She shook her head. "No, I didn't. I said I put it behind me. It's not something I dwell on every night before I fall asleep, but it hurt me a lot. So forgiving and forgetting is not an option. And even if we had a regular breakup without the hurtful words, I still wouldn't go out with you again. See, I found someone who loves me for me, not because he thinks I might put out for him. I love him, and no amount of apologizing will ever make me leave him."

"Who is he?" Kevin wanted to know the name of the man who snagged Buffy's heart when he could not.

"Angel."

"Your History tutor? You said he was pushing thirty."

"He's not that old," Buffy said between gritted teeth. "We love each other."

Kevin couldn't think of anything to say. He wanted Buffy back so bad he could taste it. And now he'd lost the only girl he'd ever cared about to an older man. "I wish you happiness, then. He's very lucky."

"I'll tell him you said so. Bye, Kevin."

She walked away from him. Her mind was spinning. ‘Kevin wanted me back. I can't believe it.'

"What took you so long?" Willow asked when Buffy re-entered the lounge.

Buffy handed Angel his hot chocolate. "I got sidetracked by Kevin."

"Matthews?"

"The one and only. And get this, he apologized for what he did before Prom. Claimed he didn't know what he was thinking," she told them.

"What did you say?" Angel wanted to know.

"That I've moved past it." Buffy laughed. "I haven't even told you guys the funniest part yet."

Cordelia leaned forward. "What's that?"

"Kevin wanted to get back together with me. ‘Pick up where we left off,' or so he said. I almost laughed in his face. Told him I'm in love with Angel and that I wouldn't be forgiving and forgetting anytime in the near future."

"Go, Buffy," cheered Xander. "Nice to see you've finally gotten over him."

She glanced lovingly at Angel. "I have. I've moved on to more mature things."

********

Sunday morning Buffy woke up from a fitful sleep with one thought in her head, one name that kept chanting through her mind: Angel. The conversation with Kevin the night before in the Bronze made her see how wrong their year-long relationship was. It had been merely a stepping stone to finding the perfect man for her. Being with Kevin proved how immature their relationship had been, now immature she was and how she had found the right man to spend her life with. Buffy awoke with the realization that she wanted more.

Throwing on shorts and a t-shirt, Buffy skipped downstairs to the kitchen. "Hey, Mom. Good morning," she greeted cheerfully.

"Morning, sweetheart. You're awfully cheery this morning."

"Guess I woke up on the right side of the bed today."

Mrs. Summers laughed. "I guess so. Any particular reason? Had a nice dream, maybe?"

"Nope. I'm just in a really good mood."

"Well, I'm glad to hear it. Will you and Angel be watching the fireworks tonight?"

‘Independence Day. How fitting.' "Yep. He hasn't been in the U.S. for the Fourth of July in three years. He misses seeing the fireworks."

"They don't have fireworks in England?" joked Mrs. Summers.

"Not today they don't."

"I suppose you're right."

Buffy inhaled deeply. "Willow is having the gang over after the festivities, so I might not get home until really late. Don't wait up for me."

"Alright, honey. Have a good time."

She grinned. "I'm going to."

********

The fireworks exploded above them. Extraordinary explosions of color: red, white, blue, green and purple. Buffy sat on Angel's lap on the picnic blanket he'd set up for them on the lawn of Sunnydale High. The entire town came to the high school to watch the annual fireworks display.

"It's such a beautiful night for fireworks," Angel commented, wrapping his arms around his love.

"Yes it is." Buffy knew that this was the moment she'd been waiting for; the one she and Willow had talked about. She was ready. "Angel?" she asked.

"Hmm?"

"I love you."

"I love you, too." He placed a kiss under her left ear.

Buffy took a deep breath. "I want to show you how much."

Angel turned her body around to face him. "What?"

"I'm ready to love you in every way possible. Emotionally, spiritually and physically."

"You mean you want to..." He couldn't even finish the sentence.

Buffy nodded. "I'm ready, Angel. I want to make love to you."

His mind flashed back to a night two months earlier, when he comforted Buffy in the aftermath of her breakup with Kevin Matthews. The words she said entered his conscious thoughts. "I want to be in love when I make love to a man. It has to be right, it has to be with someone who loves me as much as I love him." ‘Me? Buffy wants her first time to be with me?' "Buffy, are you sure this is what you want?"

She brought her lips to his in a sweet, loving kiss. "Absolutely. I want to be with you; I don't want to wait any longer."

********

31

Angel fumbled while unlocking the door to his apartment. So many things were coursing through his mind about what Buffy had said to him. She wanted to make love to him, wanted to share her first taste of intimacy with him. He felt so blessed that Buffy loved him that much. Never had he been so honored in his whole life.

He'd asked how she wanted to go about it. This was so new to him and Angel wanted everything to be perfect for Buffy. It had to be an experience she would remember; things had to be on her terms. However she wanted things to go, he would oblige. She wanted it to be in his bed, where she first came to the realization that she was in love with him.

It seemed like forever before he managed to get the door open. He glanced down at the beautiful girl standing next to him with love and complete trust in her green eyes. His whole being -- heart, body and soul -- ached for her touch. And there she stood, offering her very innocence to him. Love poured out of her through that one glance.

Buffy took a step forward to walked through the door, but Angel swept her up in his arms instead. He carried her into the apartment as if she were a bride being carried over the threshold. In both of their minds, they had already pledged their hearts to one another for all eternity, so to Buffy and Angel, this was their honeymoon. The next possible step after the binding of their hearts -- the binding of their bodies.

Angel kicked the door closed with his heel while Buffy draped her arms around his neck, kissing him with a love and passion like she'd never felt for anyone else, reserved only for him. He responded with an equal amount of passion, thrusting his tongue into her open and awaiting mouth. He ran it over her tongue, along the roof of her mouth and over her teeth.

He carried her through the living room, past the kitchen and down the hall to his bedroom. Both were too occupied with kissing each other to bother turning on the light. Not that it mattered, the full moon shone into the room through the open window. Outside, the crickets chirped and owls hooted as the two lovers made love to each other with only their mouths.

Without breaking their loving embrace, Angel gently placed Buffy on her feet again, mere inches from his awaiting bed. His hands became tangled in her long blonde tresses, shining like a halo around her face in the moonlight. Buffy Summers truly was his angel, sent from heaven to show him the true meaning of love.

The kiss lasted until they were dizzy for air. Panting, they stared at each other in silence for a few moments. "Are you sure about this, Buffy? Once we pass this line, there's no going back. I just want to be positive that this is what you really want," Angel asked.

"I've never been more sure of anything. In San Francisco I wasn't ready. But now I am. Make love to me, Angel."

He leaned down to capture her lips again. Her kisses had become an addiction, he was an addict who desperately craved his next taste of the drug her kisses provided. Buffy removed his shirt from his pants, taking her time in unbuttoning it. With each button she undid, she placed a kiss there on his chest. She could feel his heart beating and watched as his chest contracted with every breath he took.

When she unbuttoned the last of the buttons on his blue shirt, she slid it off him, letting it fall into a wrinkled heap on the floor. Angel sucked gently on her earlobe while Buffy decided to do something she'd read about in a romance novel she's read years before. She put her hands on either side of his waist and brought her lips to his nipple. Tenderly, she bit it, then swirled the tip of her tongue around it. Angel moaned in her ear, and Buffy knew she had found a way to bring him the same pleasure she felt when he touched her.

She experimented, using a counter-clockwise motion with her tongue before moving on to his other one. He gave the same reaction as before, only this time he bit down on her earlobe when she bit him. Ending her attention to his nipples, Buffy ran her hands along his muscled chest, wanting to feel his every muscle as they rippled under her fingers. She kissed the hollow of his throat, moving up to place a gentle kiss on his adam's apple before sucking hungrily on his neck. Licking the skin first, she kissed it then licked and sucked again.

Their lips found their way to each other again, their tongues dueling in a heated war for control. Angel caressed her bare arms, lifting them over her head so he could discard her white tank top. They were forced to break their kiss when he lifted the shirt, but they engaged in another steamy kiss as soon as the garment was out of the way. Instead of returning her arms to her sides, Buffy wound them once again around his neck, running her fingers through his short brown hair.

Angel began to fear Buffy thought he wasn't doing anything to make her feel desirable; that he didn't want to make her feel the things she was making him feel. Not wanting Buffy to think she was doing all the work, or so it could be said, Angel slipped his hands along her thin waist, gliding them up and down. Gooseflesh formed when he touched her, but it quickly disappeared as her body heat increased.

Buffy's fingers trembled as she trailed them to the waist of his pants. She focused her attention on trying not to seem nervous and scared at what was inevitably going to happen between them. Unbuckling his belt, she slid it from the loops. Feeling slightly nervous, embarrassed and timid, Buffy unbuttoned his pants, unzipping the fly. She pushed them from his waist, and he stepped out of them, now wearing only his boxer shorts.

"I love you, Angel," Buffy said to him.

He smiled back at her. "I love you, too." Angel glided his hands back to her waist, sliding his fingers under the waistband of her khaki shorts, unbuttoning them with only two of his fingers. He bent down slightly, making it easier for him to take them off of her. Standing up again, he looked into her eyes, then kissed her with all the passion he could muster into one mind-blowing kiss.

Angel brought his arms to her back, finding the clasp of her strapless bra. He struggled for a minute with the clasp, but he eventually unhooked it. The bra dropped to the floor in puddle along with their other clothes. He pressed his palms flat on her shoulders, slowly running down the front of her naked chest.

Buffy moaned in his mouth when his hands reached her breasts. She pressed them harder against his wandering hands, craving more contact. It felt good when he had done it in San Francisco and she wanted more. Only this time she was ready for it. His index fingers brushed her nipples, causing her to jump slightly from the added pressure. Abandoning her breasts, Angel's hands continued to explore. He stroked her strong abdominal muscles, tickling her skin with feather-light touches. He caressed her sides, brushing his thumbs along the undersides of her breasts. She was a goddess, and he wanted to worship her.

Buffy practically ripped the boxer shorts from his body. He did the opposite with her panties, reverently taking them off her. They stood facing each other, naked. Their eyes glazed over their bodies, each taking in the beauty that stood before them.

"You are so beautiful," Angel said to Buffy. "I've never seen anyone so beautiful. You literally take my breath away."

"And I can't believe you're mine; that you want to be with me."

He took her hand in his, placing a kiss on the back of it. Removing his lips, Angel pressed it over his beating heart.

"Do you feel that?"

Buffy nodded. "I do. Your heart is racing."

"It's because of you, Buffy. You do that to me every time you walk in the room. I feel alive because of you."

A tear of happiness fell from her eyes. Angel kissed it away. He then grabbed her around the waist, lifting her so her lips were even with his. Her arms wound around his back, holding him tightly to her as he eased her down on the bed. Lying gently on top of her, he said her name.

"You don't need to ask, Angel. I want to. Please," she told him.

He nodded, feeling the same way. Their lips met again and Buffy pressed his body to hers, skin to skin. She felt his heart beating against her breast, beating for her. She waited to hear the voice in her head that told her she was making a mistake. But she heard nothing. She sighed happily, she knew she was doing the right thing and that she was ready for it.

Slowly, almost reverently, Angel entered her, his hips cradled by her bent knees. He closed his eyes, burying his face in her neck, murmuring words of love and devotion to his beloved. Buffy bit her lip hard and scratched his back, digging her nails into the skin. She whimpered in pain, a single tear falling from her closed eye.

Angel heard her moans of pain, feeling the pinch from her nails in his back. "Are you okay? Do you want to stop?"

She didn't answer right away, pain soon giving way to unspeakable pleasure. "No, don't stop."

He kissed the tear away, staring into her eyes. "If it's hurting you, I'll stop."

"Don't. It doesn't hurt anymore. Just kiss me, Angel."

He did as she requested, pulling out of her body and easing himself back in slowly. Buffy cried out, wanting him to push harder and add to her pleasure. Her hands eased up on his back, running up and down in time with his thrusts. She'd never felt so whole, so complete as she did right then. They were one, as if it was meant to be that way.

Angel felt her pleasure building, his along with it. He thanked God for giving him Buffy's love and for this opportunity to show her how much she means to him. Moving faster, he showed her.

They reached their peaks simultaneously, their hips slamming into one another in midair. They screamed each other's names, clutching the other as if they'd never let go. And neither one did, even as they calmed down from their highs. Angel remained inside her for as long as he could, not wanting to break their connection. When they had to, he rolled off of her, then scooped her into his arms, letting Buffy fall asleep with her head on his chest. With her in his embrace, he fell into a fitful slumber as well.

********

32

In the middle of the night, Angel woke up to the sensation of warm lips caressing his neck. Smiling pleasantly, he opened his eyes to find Buffy leaving small kisses over his neck and jaw, her left pointer finger drawing circles on his chest. Noticing that he had awakened, Buffy smiled apologetically.

"I'm sorry. Did I wake you?" she asked.

"I am glad you did, don't apologize," replied Angel. "Are you okay?"

She nodded her head. "Everything's perfect."

"You don't have any regrets?" It was the one thing he feared the most: Buffy regretting her decision. He wouldn't be able to take it if she rejected him. Not after what they had shared.

She placed a kiss on his shoulder. "Not one. Do you?"

"I can't regret it, Buffy. This was something I'd only dreamed about. Never, not even in my most realistic dreams, did I imagine that you'd let me make love to you," he said to her.

"Me neither. After what Kevin said to me, I didn't think I would live long enough to experience it."

Angel brought his lips to her forehead. "I am going to see to it that you experience everything you should experience. Everything from making love to getting married, having children and living to be an old lady surrounded by her family."

"Only if you promise to be there."

"I wouldn't have it any other way."

Buffy's head rested in the crook of his shoulder. "Thank you so much, Angel. Looking back on everything, I don't know why I was so scared. It was amazing. I'm glad you were my first -- my only."

"And I'm glad you were mine."

She raised her head to look at him. "What did you say?"

He gazed at her with utter love and devotion in his chocolate brown eyes. The confusion and questions were apparent in her green ones. "This isn't some kind of line, Buffy. Until a few hours ago, I'd never been with a woman before."

"You've never made love before?" Angel shook his head.

"But I thought...with you being twenty-seven...you'd have been with someone before me. Why did you wait?"

Angel took a breath before beginning his story. "For almost the same reason you did. Not because I was scared, but because I wanted to make sure I was with the right person."

"Me?"

"You, Buffy. Had I never met you, I would never have made love to someone."

"That's beautiful."

"No, it's not," he disagreed. "I didn't want what happened to my mother to happen to some other girl because of me. I couldn't do what my biological father did."

Buffy hugged him to her. "What did he do?"

He looked away, ashamed of the story he was about to tell her. His background wasn't something he was proud of. "My mother was fourteen when she was called to be the Slayer. And to say she didn't take the news too well would be an understatement. It was just before her fifteenth birthday when she was called, and she was distraught. She met up with one of my grandfather's employees. One thing led to another and they had sex. I won't call it making love because no love existed between them. It was a one night stand and I was the result of it. When she found out that she was pregnant, my mother told him about it, but he didn't care, didn't want anything to do with her or me. See, he was young and on his way up the corporate ladder, not to mention married with another baby on the way. Impregnating the boss' daughter certainly wouldn't have helped his status any.

"I didn't learn of this until much later, maybe in my mid-teens. But I decided right then and there that I would never put some poor girl through the same hell my mother endured. I made a conscious decision not to have sex until I met the girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with. Someone I loved with my heart and soul. And I've kept that promise, Buffy. I waited until I found you."

Buffy kissed him on the cheek. "We waited for each other."

********

She reached her arm across the other side of the bed. It was empty. Buffy squinted in the bright sunlight of the early morning. Her body was exhausted from the night before; muscles she never knew existed ached. But it was a good ache, stemming from the satisfaction of having been one with her soulmate. Groaning, she sat up, looking around the bedroom for Angel.

The realization that she was naked came quickly. Buffy covered herself with the white bed sheet, still feeling modest. She wasn't used to sitting naked in a man's bed, it had never happened, but she was still nervous even after what she and Angel did.

"Angel?" she called.

"Just a minute!" his voice came from the other side of the apartment.

Buffy wondered what he was doing, but didn't have to wonder for too long. He walked in a minute later, wearing his boxer shorts, carrying a tray full of food.

"What did you do?" asked Buffy.

He smiled. "I'm bringing you breakfast in bed."

She laughed. He was so sweet and thoughtful -- everything she had ever wanted in a man. And there he was, standing next to the bed, the morning after making love to her, bringing her a home-cooked breakfast in bed. She knew she was lucky, most girls never got this kind of treatment after giving up their virginity to an older man. But Angel was different from other men. He loved and worshipped her, and wasn't ashamed or afraid to show it.

"You didn't have to do that," Buffy said.

"I wanted to. You must be hungry."

"I am. Food's only part of what I'm hungry for, though," she told him in a seductive tone.

He placed the tray in front of her. "Well, you're going to eat now."

"What did you make?"

"French toast, eggs and bacon. All of which I know you love," he informed her.

She picked up a fork and took a bite out of her french toast. "It's delicious, thank you."

Angel followed in suit. They sat on the bed devouring the breakfast he made for them. Buffy tricked him into leaning over for a kiss and when he did, she shoved a piece of bacon into his mouth. He chuckled, then stuffed a whole piece of french toast into hers. They did this until all the food was gone. Then Buffy allowed him to kiss her for real.

It held the taste of sweetness, not only from the love their shared, but from the syrup they'd poured on the french toast. They licked the remainder of it off each others' lips. It turned passionate the moment their lips touched, her hands around his back, her one hand moving up to brush across his cheek, stubby from the fact he hadn't shaved in twenty-four hours. His hands gripped her waist, which was covered by the thin white sheet.

Buffy ended the kiss by pushing him away. "I think we better get this tray out of the way before it falls and the plates and glasses break," she said.

Angel threw the tray off the bed, shattering the breakfast plates on the hardwood floor. "I'll buy new ones," he told him, forcing his lips on hers.

His forcefulness surprised her for a split second, but she chalked it up to him just wanting to be with her again. She wanted to be with him just as badly, and couldn't wait any longer.

She kissed him back with just as much ferocity. This time wasn't going to be about need and love, this time would be about getting as close as they could to one another; about bringing each other to the highest peaks of passion.

Angel moved the blanket from her left leg, raising her foot off the mattress, bringing his lips to it. He placed small, soothing kisses up to her bent knee. Buffy watched him, feeling the air leave her lungs when he licked behind her knee. She giggled from the sensation of his tongue against the sensitive skin. He pulled her legs toward the foot of the bed, forcing her back to the mattress, looming over her, bringing his hand to where the blanket was knotted. Undoing the knot, Angel pushed the sheet from her body, leaving her naked underneath him.

He started by kissing her forehead, her nose, both cheeks, and then her mouth. But he abandoned them, heading to her neck and throat. Once again, he abandoned them. His mouth found her breasts, placing tender kisses all along the outsides of them before moving his way closer and closer to her nipple. When he found it, he sucked greedily on it. It wasn't something he'd ever tried with a woman, but his old college buddies had assured him years before that it drove women crazy. That's what he wanted to do -- drive Buffy crazy.

It worked. She put her hands on the back of his head, holding his face to her breast. It felt so good, and she felt her heart flutter, her breathing became erratic, and a tingling feeling found its way from the tips of her toes to the pit of her stomach. She'd only felt this way once before: the night before when she and Angel made love. It was an explosion that made every nerve in her body sing with joy, causing her to grab his hair in clumps as she convulsed beneath him.

"Oh god," she moaned when he turned his attention to her other breast. This time he held back, not wanting her to have another orgasm until he could come with her, until he could see her face and share the pleasure with her. He brought his lips to hers again and she held him tightly to her, using her strength to flip him over so she was on top.

"Buffy, what...?"

She pressed her finger over his lips. "I want to touch you now."

Buffy kissed his neck, sucking as greedily on his skin as he had done with her nipples. She took his arm, trailing her lips over his bicep muscles, down to his wrists and fingers. She put each finger in her mouth individually, swirling her tongue around them.

Sitting up, she moved herself to his feet, leaving over him above the waist. Her hands peeled the boxer shorts from his strong body. She threw them across the room. Buffy crawled up him, her breasts barely brushing the skin. On her way up, she slid her hand along his leg, her long nails scraping his erection. Angel purred.

"I've always wanted to do that, you know. Touch a man," she confessed.

He flipped her over, unable to keep himself out of her lithe body. Without prelude, Angel thrust his way inside her. Her hips met him halfway, meeting each powerful thrust with a need all her own. Their joining was fast and furious, thrashing around the bed, the complete opposite of the night before.

Their hips smashed together so hard that a normal person might have had a broken bone. But not Buffy and Angel, with the strength of almost two slayers between them. They continued their furious pace, their hands and mouths exploring each others' bodies. To push him further inside her, Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist. Neither held back when they reached their climaxes, Buffy's third bringing forth Angel's. When their lovemaking was done, Angel spooned her into his embrace, raining kisses on her cheek and running his hands through her hair.

********

33

At noon, Buffy decided she'd better get home before her mother started wondering where she was. Crawling out of Angel's embrace, she climbed out of bed. Standing on the floor, careful of the broken dishes that lay there, Buffy surveyed her sleeping lover, the sheets tangled about his waist from their lovemaking. She grinned at the image. He seemed so helpless and so handsome sleeping there with his head resting on one of his fluffy white pillows.

'He's no longer just my boyfriend,' she thought happily. 'He's my lover. I like the way that sounds.' She bent down to pick up her clothes, which were wrinkled from being haphazardly thrown on the floor fourteen hours earlier. Buffy didn't care, she'd learn to live with wrinkled clothes if she could have another night like that with Angel. Dressing herself, she didn't hear Angel wake up.

"You weren't going to leave without saying goodbye, were you?" he asked, sitting up.

She turned around. "Of course not. I didn't want to wake you right away. You looked like you could use a couple more hours of sleep."

"Well, you did wear me out. But I've lived on less sleep," Angel told her. "Do you really have to go?"

"Yeah. If I don't get home soon, Mom is going to go nuts." She pulled her tank top down, covering her bra-clad chest.

Angel stood up, unashamed of his nakedness. "Let me drive you. I don't want to leave you yet."

She watched as he walked over to her. He's so perfect. And he's as in love with me as I am with him.' "I don't think that's such a good idea. If Mom sees you, she'll know something happened. I don't think I'm ready to fill her in on all the details. I got the mother of all lectures when I told her I almost slept with you in San Francisco, I can only imagine what she'll say when I tell her we finally did it," Buffy explained.

He nodded, understanding her decision. "Alright." They walked to the front door, and once they reached it, Buffy faced him. She kissed him, her arms around his shoulders.

"I should go before we get sidetracked," she told Angel. She opened the door.

Angel shut it again. "Don't leave. Don't ever leave."

"Angel, I have to. Believe me, if I could stay, I would. And besides," she said, opening the door once again, "it's not like you won't see me in three hours for my training session."

"It seems like a lifetime."

She laughed at him. He looked cute when he scrunched up his nose in defeat. "Read a book or watch some TV. I hear the History Channel's doing a special on the Titanic."

"You're real funny, Buffy."

She gave him one last kiss. "That's why you love me. I'll see you in a little while." Buffy left the apartment before Angel could stop her.

********

She opened the door to her house and closed it silently behind her. Buffy intended to make it up the stairs to her bedroom before her mother saw her. Looking around the kitchen she saw no one. Mrs. Summers was nowhere in sight. Sighing in relief, Buffy walked up to her bedroom.

Stepping inside, she found her mother sitting on her bed with a scowl on her face. Buffy made note of the fact that she didn't look too happy.

"Mom. Hi," she said cautiously. "What are you doing in here?"

Mrs. Summer tapped her foot on the floor impatiently. "Waiting for you, Buffy. Where were you all night?"

"I told you yesterday that I was going to Willow's house after the fireworks. She had a bunch of us over and I spent the night."

"Is that the truth?"

Buffy nodded. "Yeah. Why are you acting like this, Mom? I said I might not be home until late. You didn't wait up, did you?"

"Buffy Anne Summers, I don't appreciate being lied to," her mother said in a harsh tone.

"I'm not lying to you."

Mrs. Summers glared at her daughter. "Is that so? Then explain to me why, when I called Willow this morning, she told me you'd never been to her house yesterday."

"You were checking up on me?" Buffy shouted.

"I was worried. You never came home last night, Buffy. And you never called to let me know. I thought something had happened to you."

"I'm here. I'm standing in front of you, alive, thank you very much. You don't need to worry."

"Oh, I think I do. Tell me where you were." Buffy never got a chance to answer. "No, wait. How about I guess? Let's see, I called Willow, who said you weren't at her house. Mr. Giles hadn't seen you all day, and when I spoke to Xander, he said he'd seen you leave the fireworks display with Angel last night. So, I'm going to wager a guess that you were with Angel all night. Did I guess correctly?" demanded Mrs. Summers.

Buffy nodded slowly. "Yes."

"Why didn't you tell me the truth?"

"Because I knew you'd wig out like you just did," Buffy told her.

"I'm upset because you didn't have the decency to tell me the truth about where you were. What was so urgent, so time-consuming that you didn't have the time to pick up a telephone and call me?" she asked.

She lifted her eyes, making eye contact with her mother. "Nothing."

"Why can't you tell me the truth? Why didn't you call?"

"I-It slipped my mind. I'm sorry," Buffy apologized.

"It slipped your mind? What could you possibly have been doing that you'd forget to call me?" When Buffy wouldn't meet her gaze, and the guilty expression on her face, Mrs. Summers knew the real reason. "You had sex with Angel, didn't you, Buffy?" Once again, she didn't give Buffy a chance to answer. "Tell me the truth!"

Buffy raised her head. "Yes, Mom. I had sex with him."

"How could you? Buffy, you're still so young."

"What?" Buffy exclaimed. "Mom, don't ask questions if you can't handle the answers. And what do you mean, 'how could you?'?"

"Just that you're a young girl and --"

"I'm eighteen! Old enough to make my own decisions."

"Did he force you?"

That was the last straw for Buffy. "Why are you turning Angel into the bad guy here? He's not. It was my decision. Did you hear that? Mine! Never in any way has Angel pushed me."

"Honey, I know what you told me two weeks ago. You said you weren't ready for sex. And now you're telling me that last night you decided you're ready?"

"Yes! I wasn't ready then because I wasn't sure if I loved Angel enough to make love to him. But I woke up yesterday morning and knew that I did, and that I was ready. You've always trusted my judgement before, why can't you trust it now?"

"Because before, sex was simply an idea. Now it's a reality. A reality I don't think either of us was prepared for."

"Mom, I'm a big girl. I fight demons and vampires on a nightly basis."

"I'm very aware of that. But can you handle what you're getting yourself into with Angel?" Mrs. Summers wanted to know.

Buffy nodded. "I think so."

"Did he hurt you in any way? Did he do anything that you weren't ready for? Anything that made you feel weird?"

"No, Mom. It was nice."

"I don't think I need to tell you that Angel's older than you and more experienced. He might do something that some other girl liked but you may not."

"Not likely."

"Excuse me?"

Buffy sat down on the bed next to her mother. "We were each others' firsts. Neither of us had ever had sex before."

"Buffy --"

"Don't say it. Angel has never lied to me. He told me why he waited. His mother had a one-night stand and she got pregnant because of it. Angel's father didn't want anything to do with them. When Angel found out, he decided to wait until he found the right girl. Me, Mom, he waited for me. He doesn't want to do what his father did," Buffy explained.

Mrs. Summers sighed. "Okay. There's no reason for Angel to lie to you if he loves you. As for his reasons for waiting, I find them very noble. I like him, honey, you know that. If I didn't trust him, I wouldn't have allowed him to bring you to San Francisco. I honestly hope you are prepared to handle this new...level in your relationship with him." "I am. Very prepared. All the bases are covered, Mom."

She smiled and hugged her daughter. "I'm happy for you, then. If Angel makes you happy, then I'm happy. And I'm glad that I can take comfort in knowing you two are being careful when you are together."

Buffy's smile faded when she realized what her mother was talking about. "Yeah. We're being careful."

********

Angel stood in front of the weapons cabinet, pulling out the different weapons Buffy would need to train with him and Giles that afternoon. He smiled to himself, remembering last night and that morning. Being so intimate with her made him come alive. Before her, he walked around as if he were a mere shell of a man with nothing and no one to bring him the kind of love he wanted. Then when he met Buffy, he slowly came alive. And making love to her was like a rebirth. Angel's life had begun.

He placed the weapons on the table, looking up when the door opened and Buffy stormed in. He noticed that she looked upset. "Buffy, what's wrong? You look like you've been crying."

She launched herself into his embrace. "Angel, we have a big problem."

********

34

"Problem?" he asked. "What kind of a problem, Buffy?"

Buffy removed herself from his embrace. "First of all, my mom found out about last night. When I didn't come home at all, she kind of put two and two together. She figured that we...you know, had sex."

"Oh, Buffy, I'm sorry. I know you wanted to break the news to her yourself."

"Yeah, I did."

"What did she say? Was she upset? No, never mind. If it's too personal, you don't have to tell me."

She shook her head. "Nothing's too personal to tell you. Mom was a little upset at first. I got another lecture from her, this time saying that I'm too young and I have my whole life ahead of me. Then she went into overprotective mother mode and asked if you forced me into sleeping with you. She couldn't believe that two weeks ago I wasn't ready and that last night I was."

"It may take some time for her to process all the information," Angel told her.

"I know that. But she's going to have to accept it. I'm not a little girl who needs her mommy to protect her anymore, and she's not ready to deal with it."

"In her eyes, no matter how old you are you'll always be her little girl."

Buffy gave him a half-smile. "I suppose."

Angel laughed. "See, that wasn't such a big problem."

Her smile disappeared. "That wasn't the big problem, Angel."

"Tell me."

"Mom reminded me of something I promised her when we went to San Francisco. She made me promise that if something happened between us, we'd be careful." Buffy gazed into his eyes. "We weren't careful last night, or this morning for that matter. Neither of us used protection."

He slumped down into a chair. "I didn't even realize..."

Buffy pulled a chair next to him, sitting down. "Neither did I until she mentioned it. Both of us were so caught up in the moment that protection was the last thing on our minds. I know I didn't think about it; all I could think about, all I cared about was just being with you. And now I have this sinking feeling that it's going to come back to haunt us."

"You mean..."

"I could have gotten pregnant one of those times."

Angel put his head in his hands, his palms over his eyes. "I'm so sorry, Buffy. I never wanted this to happen; I never wanted to hurt you."

"Angel, you didn't. Last night was the best night of my life. I wouldn't trade having made love to you for anything in the world. I'm just afraid that my stupidity and carelessness might have gotten us into trouble. If I hadn't been so eager to do it, this wouldn't have happened."

He looked her in the eye. "What do you want to do?"

"I don't know. The only thing I can think of is to wait and find out if I am pregnant."

"No matter what, Buffy, I'll be here for you. Whatever you decide to do, I'm not going to leave you alone to handle this." He clasped her hands in his. "I want you to know that if you are pregnant and you want to raise our child, we'll be a family. I won't be a coward like my father and walk away. I'll marry you."

Buffy looked down, then back up at him. "You'd do that?"

He nodded. "Yes, I would. I don't want to be like my father. I waited until I found the girl I want to spend the rest of my life with. And I want to spend it with you, regardless of whether or not you're pregnant."

She hugged him. "Thank you, Angel. You've almost made me believe everything's going to be okay."

Angel stroked her hair. "It will be, you'll see."

********

Training ended at four-thirty, and Giles pulled Buffy aside while Angel put away the weapons. "Have you seen your mother? She called me this morning looking for you."

"Yeah, I didn't get home until this afternoon. She told me she called you. Hope you didn't worry."

"I did worry, Buffy. Your mother was afraid something horrible happened to you," Giles said to her.

"Nothing bad happened."

"Where were you?"

"No, offense, Giles, but it's none of your business. If you'll excuse me, I have to get dressed and eat dinner before I patrol tonight." Buffy walked past him and out of the library.

Giles headed for Angel. "Angel, Buffy tells me you were with her all of last night." It was only a guess, but he figured it was the truth. He wanted to find out what was going on.

"Um, yeah, she was," he admitted.

'Now we're getting somewhere,' Giles said to himself. "She also told me what happened." Another shot in the dark. It wasn't like Buffy to keep secrets from him, and he figured Angel knew what was going on.

"She did?"

"Yes. Buffy had to tell me; she couldn't keep it a secret for very long."

Angel sighed. "Look, Giles, you don't have to be worried. I told her I'd be here for her no matter what. If she did end up pregnant, I'll take care of her and the baby."

Giles tried to hide his shock. "Very well. You're taking responsibility for you actions, Angel. That's very noble of you."

"I love her. I wouldn't abandon her."

"I know you wouldn't. I can finish up from here. Go be with Buffy. But don't tell her about our discussion, though. She didn't want me to say anything to you."

"Okay." Angel left the room in search of Buffy.

As soon as he left, Giles went into his office. He picked up the phone and dialed the phone number he had memorized years before. "Hello, this is Rupert Giles. I'm sorry for calling at such a late hour, but it is a matter of extreme urgency. I need to speak to George Smythe, Head of the Watcher's Council."

********

Buffy tossed and turned throughout the duration of her dream. It was more like a nightmare.

Buffy opened her eyes. The dream scared the hell out of her. "It was just a dream. Angel would never do that to me," she whispered.

********

The two vampires walked into their lair, finding their sire waiting for them. "Boss, we have some news." "What is it?" she asked, putting another piece of wood in the fireplace.

"We came across that Slayer tonight. She's here in Sunnydale, you were right."

"Of course I was right, you idiot. What can you tell me about her?"

"She's short. Don't look like much. Blonde hair, maybe five-two. Very strong. Took out Carlisle without even breaking a sweat," one vampire told her.

She raised her eyebrows. "What about her technique?"

"It isn't structured. She's big on improvisation. There's no precise flow to her fighting, no pattern."

"Any weaknesses that you might have noticed?"

"There was a man with her. She was protective of him."

"Her Watcher, no doubt," she wagered.

"I don't think so," the other vampire disagreed. "The Slayer was pretty hot and heavy with him before we attacked. I'm thinking boyfriend."

She smiled. "Good. We'll have to use that to our advantage."

"Are you going to take her out?"

"Not yet. First I want to study her. Then I'll kill her."

********

35

The following two and a half weeks were pure torture for Buffy and Angel. They spent a lot of time talking about what they would do if she was pregnant. Angel had told her that he'd stand by her, no matter what her decision regarding the child; that he'd support her and the baby, and marry her if she wanted. Hearing his promises made Buffy feel a little bit better about their situation.

When she told Angel about her dream, the dream where he abandoned her and their baby, he swore that he would never let that happen. Buffy cried in his arms the next day when she described how real it seemed, how she could feel his hatred and rejection when she woke up.

"You just left. You said you made all of it up, said that you were only in it for the sex. God, it felt so real, Angel," Buffy had said to him.

"It wasn't real, it will never be real. I swear," he'd promised her.

On a Saturday night, eighteen days after their night together, Angel agreed to meet Buffy at the Bronze. She had called earlier that afternoon, saying she had something she needed to tell him. His curiosity piqued, he said he'd meet her.

Sitting at a table in the middle of the club, alone, Angel felt more than a little out of place. He seemed like the oldest person there, surrounded by teenagers. So he sat there, watching Oz's band play and the people dancing, sipping his soda, waiting for Buffy to arrive.

Small hands covered his eyes. "Guess who?" Buffy asked.

Angel smiled. "Cordelia?" he guessed jokingly.

"Nope. Guess again."

"Hmm. Willow?"

"Wrong again."

"There's only one other person I can think of, but Jessi's in New York."

Buffy removed her hands. She moved to stand in front of him with an astonished and disappointed look on her face. "Hey!"

"I knew it was you."

"Who's Jessi?"

He shrugged. "An old friend from UCLA."

"Girlfriend?"

"I went out with her a few times. She meant nothing to me, at least not as anything more than a friend," Angel said.

Buffy put her hands on her hips. "Should I be jealous?"

He pulled her down onto his lap. "What do you think?"

"I think if you're still thinking about her, I should be a little jealous of this Jessi girl."

Angel placed a kiss on her nose. "And I think you should think about the Fourth of July. Think very hard about that night, and that should answer all of your questions."

"It does."

"So, Buffy, why did you ask me to come here? What's going on?"

"I've got news."

"Good or bad?" Angel knew what the news regarded.

Buffy grinned. "Very good."

"Seriously?"

She nodded. "I wanted to be one hundred percent sure before I told you. That's why I waited until today, even thought I knew on Tuesday. Angel, I'm not pregnant."

Angel closed his eyes and sighed. It was a load off his mind. "You're positive?"

"Yep. I won't give you all the details, but let's just say that it ended today. No worries."

"I'm so sorry for putting you through that."

"It's okay. I do want to have a baby, but not yet." Buffy put her arms around his neck, leaning her forehead against his. "And now that we know I'm not pregnant, and my period's over, I'm thinking we should stock up on some protection. Like tonight."

He understood what she was implying. "So soon, Buffy? We just got through this pregnancy scare, are you sure you're ready to go through it all over again?"

"There won't be as much of a worry this time, Angel. It'll be a lot safer than before."

"Nothing's an absolute one hundred percent."

"Stop sounding like a commercial, I know all this. I've had the sex lecture and I've taken sex education. Believe me, I know what I'm getting into. And I want to again."

"If you're sure," agreed a reluctant Angel.

"I'm very sure." She stood up, grabbing his hand to guide him up as well. "But first, we dance."

Buffy led Angel to the dance floor as the Dingoes began playing a ballad. She recognized it as the song Oz wrote for Willow as her graduation present. It was a beautiful song about finding your true love and doing everything you can to keep that special person in your life. 'No truer words were ever spoken,' thought Buffy.

Willow, Cordelia and Xander watched the couple on the dance floor. "Check out the lovebirds," Willow said.

"I think they look cute," commented Cordelia.

"Oh, gag me. If they got any closer, they'd be having sex right on the floor," Xander told them.

"They wouldn't do that in public."

"Or in private, for that matter."

"What are you saying?" Xander asked.

Willow looked at them. "Just that if anything had happened between Buffy and Angel, she'd have told me about it. We tell each other everything."

"Will, some things you keep private."

"You think they..."

"Rode the pleasure pony?" Xander said, crudely. "Hell yeah."

********

Angel stood in front of the shelves, looking over the different boxes. 'How do I know which one to buy? They all look the same to me.' He picked up a box. 'Trojans. These are supposed to be good. Reliable.' Grabbing another box, Angel turned down the aisle. He wasn't paying attention and walked right into a young man.

"Excuse me," apologized Angel. He looked at the young man. "Kevin."

"Hello, Angel. Doing a little late night shopping?" Kevin asked.

"Something like that."

Kevin glanced at the two boxes of condoms Angel held in his hands. "Apparently you're expecting a big night tonight. Hope you're not expecting it with Buffy. She's waiting for Mr. Right," he taunted.

Angel took a step closer to the young man. "She found him."

"You and Buffy? You slept with her?"

"That's none of your business. Kevin, let me give you some advice. If you leave Buffy alone and you leave me alone, your life will be a lot easier. She told me all about what you said when she wouldn't sleep with you. And she told me about how you want her back now. It's not going to happen, boy. Buffy's with me. So just stay out of her life."

Angel brushed past him. He headed for the cashier to pay for his purchase. Without glancing back at Kevin, he left the store and drove back to his apartment, where Buffy was waiting for him. Kevin left the store shortly after. Upon reaching his car, he punched the door.

"God dammit!" he shouted. "She was mine, not yours! Mine! I'll get Buffy back if it's the last thing I do."

********

"How is the situation in Sunnydale? Has it changed at all from the last time we spoke?" George Smythe asked over the phone.

"Unfortunately, no."

"I know of your fears, Mr. Giles, and I agree with you. All of the information you sent me verifies your claims. I can see where you would be concerned. After discussing your concerns with a small committee of Watchers, we have decided to grant your request."

Giles sighed. "Thank you, Mr. Smythe."

"Separating the Slayer from Mr. Reilly -- Angel -- is best for everyone concerned. If their relationship has become as personal and as intimate as you say, separation is the best idea."

"How long of a separation are we talking, Mr. Smythe?" Giles wanted to know.

"As long as it takes, Mr. Giles."

********

The ringing of the telephone stirred Angel from his sleep. Buffy lay in his embrace but didn't wake up. He reached over, hoping his movement and the telephone wouldn't rouse her. They'd fallen asleep an hour earlier, after an incredible round of sex that left them both exhausted.

"Hello?" he asked softly and tiredly.

"Is this Angel?"

"Yes. Who is this?"

"George P. Smythe of the Watcher's Council of England. I apologize for calling at such a late hour, but I need to speak to you."

"What about?" Angel wanted to know.

There was a pause on the other end of the line. "I'll cut right to the chase, Mr. Reilly. Your presence is required in England at the end of next week."

"Excuse me?" Angel didn't know what was going on.

"Part of your training for becoming a Watcher is that you spend some more time in England studying more about the very things you'll be aiding the Slayer with."

"With all due respect, sir, I'm learning plenty here on the Hellmouth."

"There are tests we have yet to give you, Angel, that you must take. They are only given once every year. All of the arrangements have been made. Your flight leaves this Thursday at eight a.m.," Mr. Smythe informed him.

"I can't leave Sunnydale," Angel argued.

"You can and you will. I shall see you Thursday evening, or possibly Friday afternoon. A car will meet you at the airport. Goodbye, Angel." George Smythe hung up the phone.

Angel replaced the receiver. He sat in silence, thinking about the conversation he'd just had, never hearing Buffy awaken. "Angel? What are you doing awake?"

"The phone rang."

"Who was it?" Buffy asked.

"The Watcher's Council," Angel answered. "George Smythe."

Buffy gazed at him. "Who's he?"

"He's the Head of the Council."

"What did he want?"

"To tell me that I have a bunch of tests to take. I have to be in England by Friday."

"For how long?"

Angel shook his head. "I don't know. He didn't say. Buffy, he didn't make it sound like a quick trip. It sounded like a long time."

********

36

Buffy took a swing at Giles, who ducked it, only to be toppled by her floor kick. He landed hard on the tiled floor of the library.

"Are you okay, Giles?" she asked out of concern for her Watcher.

He stared at her from where he fell. "As soon as my back stops throbbing I shall feel much better."

Buffy extended her hand. "Here, let me help you up," she offered.

"Thank you, Buffy."

She looked at the clock. 'Four-thirty. Angel leaves in thirteen hours. Where did this week go? It still seems like yesterday that he got the phone call.' "Hey, Giles, can we call it a day?"

"We still have another half-hour of training left."

"I've got stuff to go today."

Giles nodded his head in understanding. "Ah, yes. Angel leaves in the morning. I suppose you want to spend some time with him before he heads off for England."

"You suppose right."

"Fine, I'll let you leave early, but Monday you're to give me an extra half-hour."

"I promise." Buffy had one more question before she went to change."Giles, what kind of tests does Angel have to take in England?"

"That all depends."

"Well, what kind of tests did you have to go through?"

"That was nearly twenty-five years ago, Buffy. I believe the Watcher's Council has changed their requirements since I have completed them," Giles answered.

Buffy shrugged. "Humor me."

"I had to undergo severe psychological testing to prove that I could handle the job. There I had a slight edge because my parents were Watchers. I knew how things worked, and I knew how to keep myself focused and objective."

"Angel's mom was a Slayer and he was raised by her Watcher, so he shouldn't have a problem with that."

"Perhaps not. But as I said, that was twenty-five years ago. I'm sure the criteria have changed."

"What else?"

"The Council needs to see if Angel is physically fit enough to be a Watcher. Have you ever heard of a stress test?"

She nodded. "Yeah. My dad had to have one last year. Running on a treadmill or something like that."

"It is very much like that, only more extreme."

"How extreme? Will he be hurt?"

"That all depends on how fit he is. If Angel is in good shape and has been exercising every day, he'll come out just fine."

'I can guarantee he's been getting exercise, but I don't think that's the kind of exercise Giles is talking about,' thought Buffy. "Okay."

"There's only two more that I recall with certainty. One is a test that involves knowing the different demon species and being able to identify them. That part is usually simple memorization. The last test I remember is the one for fighting skills."

Buffy waved her hand. "That should be easy for him. We fight together all the time."

"This is different, Buffy. He'll be locked in a room with a vampire, or possibly a lesser demon. Angel will have one weapon with which to kill his opponent. If he makes it out alive, he'll have passed the test."

"I don't like that one. It's dangerous."

"It is. But he has to go through it."

"Angel might die! He can't die, I need him."

"I'm sorry, Buffy, but it is all part of becoming a Watcher."

Her lower lip quivered. "Can't you call the Watcher's Council and tell them that he's needed here in Sunnydale?"

Giles shook his head. "I'm afraid not. He's not needed here at the moment. There aren't any unstoppable demons in town and we have the vampire community under control. We don't need him."

"I need him!" Buffy shouted.

"For what?" he shot back. "Sex?"

Buffy was taken aback by his words. "What?" she asked sharply.

"You think I don't know that you've been...carrying on with Angel behind closed doors? I'm well aware of your pregnancy scare, Buffy. I think this time away from Angel would be most useful."

"You arranged this, didn't you? You called the Council," Buffy accused him.

"Listen to me. Angel has to go through these tests eventually. It is better for him to go through them now while things are quiet. To answer your question, yes, I called the Council. But that was before I knew of your intimate relationship with him," lied Giles.

She exhaled loudly. "Fine. But if I ever find out that you set this up to keep us apart, I'll never forgive you, Giles. Never." Without bothering to say goodbye, Buffy left the room.

********

"Are you coming to the Bronze tonight?" Willow asked Buffy when she called on the telephone after dinner.

"I doubt it," Buffy said to her best friend.

"Oh, come on, Buffy. You have to come. Xander and Cordy already have plans and I don't want to sit there all alone. The Dingoes are playing tonight. Oz said they're going to be playing their new song. Please," begged Willow.

Buffy felt bad for having to say no. "Sorry, Will, if it were any other night, I'd say yes. But I've already got plans with Angel. He leaves tomorrow morning and I want to be with him as much as possible before he goes," Buffy explained.

"I see."

"We'll do the Bronze thing some other time," she promised.

"Okay. Buffy, can I ask you a question?"

"Sure."

Willow paused before beginning. "This is going to sound really weird, but bear with me. If something had happened between you and Angel, would you have told me?"

"What brought this on?"

"Something Xander said about how some things are private."

"Willow, I'm really sorry. I've been so busy these past few weeks that I didn't tell you what happened. I feel like a complete moron."

"Something did happen?" Willow asked.

"Yeah. I finally decided I was ready. It happened on the fourth. And it was great. I don't want to get into all of it right now, but I'll tell you that now I don't know why I was so scared to do it."

"Buffy, that's great." Willow was happy for her.

She heard the doorbell chime. "He's here. I have to go. But I'll give you all the gory details next time we get together."

"Okay. Tell Angel I hope he has a safe trip."

"Will do. Bye." Buffy hung up the phone and ran downstairs to greet her boyfriend.

********

Buffy giggled as Angel tied the scarf around the back of her head. "Why are you blindfolding me?" she wanted to know.

"You'll see. Stay right here until I get back. Okay?"

She reluctantly agreed. "Fine. But make it quick, I've got a surprise for you, too."

Angel opened the door to his apartment, then closed it again, leaving Buffy standing in the hallway outside. A few minutes later, he returned. "Give me your hand."

Buffy did so, and he led her inside. "What's going on?"

"Take off the blindfold," Angel instructed.

She took it off. The entire apartment was illuminated by white candles. A single rose in a crystal vase adorned every table, setting the scene for what looked like an elaborate seduction. "Angel, my god. Why did you do this?"

"This is our last night together for I don't know how long. I wanted it to be perfect," he said to her.

"You didn't have to go to all this trouble. One candle would have been fine."

"Not for you."

Buffy reached up to push his face to hers. "It is perfect. Now, if you go wait in your bedroom, I'll go get your going away present."

While Buffy went into the bathroom, Angel entered his bedroom, carefully taking off his shirt and pants, folding them neatly on the chair. This was going to be their last time together for some time, and he didn't want to waste any time.

"I'm ready," Buffy called.

"So am I," he returned.

She walked into the candlelit room, nearly stopping Angel's heart in the process. She stood by the bed, wearing a short, red satin nightie which left very little to the imagination. He could tell with one quick glance that Buffy wore nothing underneath.

"Do you like your present?" she asked with a smile.

"Very much."

She strolled over, pressing herself to him, feeling his obvious arousal. "Why don't we lose the boxers and take it from there."

Buffy bent down to remove the last article of clothing from his body. Once he had stepped out of his shorts, she tilted her head up, licking her lips. She wanted to give him a night he'd never forget. When her mouth was level with his hard member, she placed a kiss on the tip of it. Then she brought her hands to it, moving them up and down the length of him before putting him slowly inside her mouth. She'd learned about this form of sex from another cheesy romance novel she'd read. Buffy wasn't sure if Angel would enjoy it, but the moans of pleasure he gave told her he did.

She continued to take in as much of him as she could. Swirling her tongue around his erection, Buffy brought her head back, then took in more. Angel wondered where she had learned to do that, but he didn't care enough to ask, as long as she kept on doing it.

Buffy stopped short of making him come. "How was that?" she asked.

"Amazing," he answered, breathlessly.

"I've got something else I want to do for you."

"I'm all yours," Angel told her. As far as he was concerned, Buffy could do whatever she wanted. If she wanted to set him on fire and put out the flames with her tongue, he'd gladly let her.

She reached over to the nightstand, pulling out a condom from the drawer. After unwrapping it, she rolled it over his erection, then placed her palms on his chest, forcing him backwards onto the bed. "Sit back a little bit so your legs are on the bed." Angel did as she requested. Buffy crawled on her knees to him, straddling him before wrapping her legs around his waist. Still wearing the satin nightie, she sheathed her body down on his erection.

Angel gave her a few moments to adjust to his size before he brought his hands to her hips, bringing her up and down on him in a steady rhythm. He lowered his lips to her neck, sucking and kissing gently. As their peaks became closer, their hips slammed into each other in a need to fulfill their orgasmic pleasure. Buffy threw her head back and screamed when hers came, followed immediately by Angel's.

Waiting until they had both calmed down, he lifted Buffy from him and lay her gently on the pillows. He ran his hands over the satin of her nightie, feeling every curve along the way. Hard once again, Angel was ready for more of whatever pleasures Buffy would want to give him. Removing his condom and replacing it with another one, he stripped the satin number from her body, taking her once again. As the evening wore on, as well as their lovemaking, the candles dimmed until the apartment became enveloped in darkness.

********

"I'll miss you," Buffy whispered as they lay sated in his bed.

He caressed her naked breast. "I'll miss you, too."

"It's going to be hard, being away from you for so long," she admitted.

"I know. But I promise to call you every day and write as often as I can," Angel promised.

"Sometimes, I think you're going to forget all about me when you're over there. That you'll find someone else."

"Hey." Angel forced her to look at him. "That'll never happen. I love you, Buffy Summers. There's nothing on God's green earth that'll ever make me forget you. Especially after that going away gift you just gave me."

"Promise?"

"Promise."

********

37

"Spill it already," demanded Cordelia. "What's this big thing you came over to tell us?"

Cordelia, Buffy and Willow sat around Cordelia's bedroom Friday afternoon. It was the first time Buffy had set foot outside her house since Angel left over twenty-four hours earlier. She'd been miserable and depressed all day Thursday, just wanting to spend the day alone. Angel had promised to call her if he got to London before midnight, but he never called. Buffy assumed he'd gotten there later than anticipated and didn't want to bother her.

"You guys are my best friends and I want to share this with you, just like Willow shared it with me," Buffy began.

Cordelia didn't have a clue as to what her friend was saying. "Share what? Buffy, you're not making any sense."

Willow grinned, knowing exactly what Buffy was talking about. "Tell her."

Buffy took a deep breath. "Okay. Angel and I have been...together."

"That's it? God, that's such old news. You two have been together for months."

"No, Cordy, we've been sleeping together." Buffy was trying to say it without coming right out and saying it.

"Yet again, old news. Remember after Prom? You guys slept together then."

"That's not how I meant it."

Thinking for a couple moments, Cordelia figured it out. "Oh my god, you two are literally sleeping together? Like, as in sex?"

Willow stifled a giggle. "Took you long enough, Cordy."

"God, I feel so dense for not getting it right away. For how long? When was the first time? Was it good? Is he good?" Cordelia was full of questions.

Buffy laughed. "One question at a time. The first time was the Fourth of July. Right after the fireworks display."

"What was it like? Was it what you expected?" asked the brunette. She remembered that her first time with Xander was nothing like she thought it would be.

"It was just like you said, Willow. At first it hurt, like to the point where I almost wanted to stop. I never told Angel that, though, but I think he sensed my discomfort because he asked me if I wanted him to stop. By the time he asked it didn't hurt anymore. After that, it was like nothing I'd ever felt before. The only word I can think of to describe it is amazing," she explained.

"Wow," Cordelia said. "You've definitely got an advantage over us."

"How?"

"Well, Xander didn't have a clue the first time we slept together. Buffy, you've been with a guy who must be like the walking Kama Sutra."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "What makes you think that?"

"The man is gorgeous and is a world traveler. And he's twenty-seven," answered Cordelia.

"So?"

"So? Come on, don't be so naive. He's probably done it so many times that he knows things we've never even dreamed of."

"You think Angel's had a lot of women?" Buffy asked with a smile.

"Hasn't he?"

"No. Neither of us had ever had sex before, Cordelia."

Willow's jaw hit the floor. She'd known that Buffy was a virgin, but not Angel. "What?"

"Angel was a virgin?" exclaimed Cordelia.

Buffy nodded. "Uh-huh. I was too scared before I did it; I wanted to wait until I was ready. Angel, though, he was ready, but he just waited. He didn't want to do what his father did -- get a girl pregnant and then abandon her. So he waited until he found someone he would stick by if he did get her pregnant. Someone he wanted to be with forever."

"You?"

"Yep. So, Cordy, he's not exactly the walking Kama Sutra, as you put it. That isn't to say it wasn't great, or that he wasn't great. We learn something new, teach each other something new every time we make love."

"Have you tried anything...I don't know, different or adventurous?" Cordelia asked.

"Cordy!" Willow slapped her. "Don't you think that's personal?"

"I want to know."

"It's okay. Did you read last month's Cosmo? The one with the article ‘20 Ways to Please Your Lover In Bed.'"

Cordelia reached for the pile of magazines on the table next to her bed. Rifling through them, she pulled out the magazine Buffy asked her about. "This one?"

"That's it." Buffy took it from her, found the article and pointed to two of the twenty ways. "These two."

Willow and Cordelia read them. "You did that?"

"Wednesday night. I wanted to pull out all the stops. You know, give him a night he won't forget."

Willow swallowed hard. "I could never do that. I mean, I can't imagine ever doing that with Oz. I'd be too scared to."

"I think Xander would love it, but I won't do it."

"It's not that bad. Don't get me wrong, I was nervous about it, doing such a strange thing. I'd never dreamed of doing it. I wasn't even sure if Angel would like it."

Cordelia shook her head. "You're so lucky. You've got the perfect man. He loves you and thinks the world revolves around you."

"You still can't have him."

"When is he coming home?" Willow wanted to know.

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know. Soon, I hope. He's been gone for one day and I miss him like crazy."

"Have you talked to him yet?"

"No. But he promised to call me every day. He'll call tonight, I know he will."

********

"I hope you find your accommodations comfortable, Angel," Mr. Smythe said when he showed Angel to his flat in the building the Watchers Council owned. "Everything you can possibly need for the duration of your stay here in London has been brought here."

"Thank you, Mr. Smythe."

The man smiled. "Please call me George."

"Alright. Thank you, George."

"I shall leave you alone to unpack your bags and then to rest. The car will be here precisely at eight in the morning to take you to the Council's official headquarters."

Angel looked around. "Could you tell me where the telephone is? I need to make a call."

Mr. Smythe shook his head. "There is no telephone, Angel. You are not permitted to make phone calls during the duration of your testing."

"I promised my girlfriend I'd call her when I got here. She gets worried easily."

‘The Slayer, no doubt.' "I'm very sorry, but no phone calls are allowed. When your testing is completed, then you may call. But until then, you are not to have any outside contact with anyone in Sunnydale."

Angel sighed softly. He needed to call Buffy, he didn't want her to worry. Mostly, though, he needed to hear her voice. He'd left her only twenty-four hours earlier and already it seemed like months. "How long will the testing take?"

"There will be four major tests that you must pass in order to become a full-fledged Watcher. Once you pass them, you will have to remain in London for the meeting and greeting of all our Watchers in the form of parties and social gatherings. On average, about two months," answered Mr. Smythe.

‘Two months without seeing or talking to Buffy? No way. I will be back in Sunnydale by the beginning of September,' a determined Angel decided. "Thank you."

"I'll leave you be. Get some rest, Angel. Your testing begins tomorrow."

Mr. Smythe left the apartment and walked down the hall, meeting up with another man while waiting for the elevator. "You are aware of what you have to do, right?" he asked.

The man nodded once. "Yes, sir. I am to monitor his comings and goings."

"Angel Reilly is an intelligent young man. He was not pleased when I informed him that he could not phone his lover back in California. He will try to call her from an outside phone booth, of that I am sure. It is your responsibility to prevent him from making that call. Also, I imagine that he will send her a letter. You are to intercept it and bring said letter to me. It is important that the letter is not sent," explained Mr. Smythe.

"Sir, may I ask a question?"

"You may."

"Why is he not permitted any contact with his lover?" the man asked.

The elevator doors opened. "Because he is here to forget about her. We do not approve of their relationship for many reasons. Just keep him in your sights, Mr. Headly. Let the Council do the rest."

********

38

"I don't get it," Buffy said to Willow, Oz, Xander and Cordelia at the Bronze. They had dragged her there for ‘80s night. "It's been three weeks since he left. Angel hasn't called or written or anything!"

"I'm sure he's just busy, Buffy," Willow reassured her. "Giles told you about the different tests he has to take. He's probably studying. He'll call as soon as he can."

Buffy frowned. "What if he was in an accident? He could be in a hospital somewhere in England, nobody knows who he is and the Council doesn't know to contact me to let me know." Horrible scenarios were going through her mind. They had been for the past three weeks.

"You're overreacting, Buffy," commented Cordelia.

"I don't think so. All I want is for him to call me and say that he loves me and that he's fine."

"Shouldn't that be the other way around?" asked Xander.

She glared at him. "Not now."

"Can't Giles get in touch with the Council?" Oz wanted to know.

"He has," Buffy answered miserably. "Whenever I ask him about Angel, he says he forgot to ask. Truthfully, I think he's lying."

"Do you think Giles had something to do with Angel leaving?"

Buffy shrugged. "I asked him point blank if he did and Giles swears he didn't. But I don't know. He seemed pretty upset about me and Angel being together. But would he actually stoop so low as to call the Council to separate us? I wouldn't put it past him."

Kevin watched the gang from five tables away. It didn't escape his eye that Angel wasn't with them. In fact, he hadn't seen Buffy and the older man together in several weeks. He smiled. ‘She looks upset. They probably broke up. Poor Buffy. She's probably distraught that she slept with him and he dumped her. This is the perfect opportunity.' He made his way over to her table.

"Hi, Buffy," Kevin said to her.

She looked at her ex-boyfriend. "Hey, Kevin."

"How are you doing?"

"Okay, I guess. How ‘bout you?"

"The same." A slow song blasted through the speakers. "Would you like to dance?" he asked.

Willow knew how depressed her best friend was over not having heard from Angel in weeks. A dance, even it if was with Kevin Matthews, might be just what Buffy needed to get her mind off of things. "Go for it," she whispered.

Buffy gave her a half-smile. "Alright, Kevin."

‘Yes! Now's my chance to win Buffy back.' "Great."

Once on the dance floor, he tentatively pulled her into his arms. She gently rested her head on his shoulder, but didn't try to delude herself into believing she was in the arms of the man she loved more than life itself.

"I love this song," Kevin said.

"Yeah, it's nice. Really pretty," she agreed.

"Almost as much as you."

"What?"

"The song is almost as pretty as you are. You look lovely tonight, Buffy."

She didn't quite know what to make of Kevin's words to her. It remained in the back of her mind that a month-and-a-half earlier, he wanted her back. "Thank you," she said.

Buffy heard him singing the words to the song. She glanced up at him and smiled. She didn't know that he was singing the song to her. She thought it was funny, as well as entertaining, that Kevin was attempting to sing.

Kevin took the smile to believe she wanted him back as much as he wanted her. One single smile was all he needed to gain the confidence to kiss her. So he did.

The kiss took Buffy by surprise; it was the last thing she expected. And it was certainly the last thing she wanted. She'd been kissed by Kevin hundreds of times before, but they never held the passion and love that Angel's kisses did. There was absolutely no comparison between the two. Buffy broke the kiss almost immediately.

"What was that for?" she demanded.

"I thought you wanted me to kiss you," explained Kevin.

"What made you think that?"

He touched her cheek. "You smiled at me."

"That doesn't mean I wanted you to kiss me. I'm with Angel, you know that." Buffy was outraged.

"I want a second chance."

"Did you *not* hear me? Angel and I are together. We have been for two, almost three months."

Kevin looked around. "Then where is loverboy?"

"Angel's been out of town for three weeks, not that it's any of your business."

"Yeah, I was wondering why I haven't seen him around in awhile. Now that I think about it, I haven't seen him since I ran into him at the store. He was really stocking up on condoms that night. So tell me, Buffy, is he any good in bed? Not that I care personally, but I'm betting that I'd be much better. Wanna find out?"

Buffy was livid. "Don't *ever* talk about Angel like that again." To convey her message, she punched him in the stomach as hard as she could.

Clutching his hands to his throbbing stomach, Kevin had one more thing to say. "Then again, he might have been stocking up for his trip. Maybe he found someone else to have some fun with. Bet he's off doing her right now. Where's the fun in screwing a virgin? You're probably the last thing on his mind."

Buffy couldn't even think of a retort to come back with. His words hurt that much. But they struck something inside of her, something she didn't even want to think about. Leaving the Bronze, she thought, ‘What if Kevin's right? Did Angel find someone else? Is that why he hasn't called or written to me? What will I do?' With tears running down her cheeks, Buffy ran away from the club.

The vampire stepped out of the shadows. She watched as Buffy ran crying down the street. "Now, what on earth could have made the Slayer cry? Whatever it is, I'm going to find out."

********

Buffy used Angel's spare key to open the door to his apartment. He'd left her the key so that she could go there when she needed to be alone. Whenever she missed him to the point where she couldn't take it anymore, Buffy stayed there.

She didn't turn on any lights until she reached his bedroom. The candles he's burned the night before he left for England remained on the floor. She didn't have the heart to put them away, their presence reminded her of their last night together. Closing her eyes, Buffy remembered that night.

She went straight for his closet, pulling a black button-down shirt from a hanger. Stripping off her blue dress, Buffy put on the shirt. It smelled like him, and made tears come to her eyes. ‘Is he with someone right now? Is he telling her he loves her, just like he told me?' With thoughts of Angel's possible betrayal running through her mind, Buffy cried herself to sleep in his bed.

********

Mr. Headly walked into George Smythe's office. "I brought you the most recent letter Mr. Reilly sent out." He handed over the white sealed envelope.

"Thank you, Mr. Headly. Is anything out of the ordinary going on with Mr. Reilly?"

"Nothing that I have noticed. He's attempted daily to make a call, but each time I have found a way to stop him."

Mr. Smythe smiled. "Very good. I appreciate the work you've done. After next week, I won't be requiring your services, Mr. Headly."

"Should you be in need of my services in the future, please don't hesitate to call."

"I shall. Good day, sir."

After Mr. Headly left the room, Mr. Smythe used the letter opener to break the seal of the envelope. He read the address written on it. BUFFY SUMMERS. ‘The Slayer.' Taking the letter out, he began to read.

Mr. Smythe folded the letter and placed it in the top drawer of his desk just as a young woman entered his office. She sat down on the corner of the oak desk.

"Hello, Daddy," she said.

"Daniella. I'm glad you could make it."

She flashed her father a smile. "Well, you did call me. You said you needed a favor. What do you want?"

"My little girl. Always right to the point," Mr. Smythe said with a grin. "Daniella, I have a job for you."

"What do I have to do, Daddy?"

"Whatever it takes to get Buffy Summers out of Angel Reilly's head. And most importantly, his heart."

********

39

"How was your first day of classes, Buffy?" Giles asked the next week. UC Sunnydale began fall classes that day.

Buffy, Willow and Cordelia were attending college there. The three had all applied there and, with the exception of Xander who was taking a semester off, they had attended their first day of classes as college freshmen.

"Good," she answered. She pulled out a sword to train with.

"I think you meant to say fine," Giles corrected.

"Whatever," she sighed. "I’m not an English major, Giles. Don’t get on my back about my grammar."

He noted her unpleasantness. Buffy had been irritable ever since Angel left Sunnydale, snapping over the littlest incidents that didn’t go her way. Her sarcastic comments were even more biting. Giles knew not to mention calling the Watcher’s Council because Buffy would immediately mention Angel.

Giles had suggested to George Smythe that all contact be cut off between the two lovers. He whole-heartedly agreed, and then proceeded to let Giles in on his plan to get Buffy out of Angel’s heart. Giles wasn’t one hundred percent positive that the plan would work, but he was willing to wait and see how it turned out.

"What exactly are you planning to major in? Don’t you think it’s important that you decide?"

Buffy shot him an evil glare. "I don’t know. Maybe History. Angel will help me with it."

"Buffy, you could barely pass it in high school. College is much more difficult. And I wouldn’t exactly count on Angel’s help if I were you," Giles said.

"What do you mean by that?" she demanded, twirling the sword in her hand.

"Nothing."

Buffy took a step closer to him. "No, you meant something and I want to know what."

"Only that it is possible that Angel may not be returning to Sunnydale."

"Why not?" she asked nervously.

"The Council may decide that his presence is needed elsewhere."

"Where elsewhere?"

"I don’t know, Buffy."

"How could he be needed elsewhere? Shouldn’t the Hellmouth have two Watchers?" It scared her beyond comprehension that Angel might not return to her.

"The Hellmouth already has a Watcher and a Slayer. There is no need for a second Watcher," Giles told her. She shook her head. "You don’t want him to come back."

"It’s not that I don’t want him to come back, Buffy. Angel is like a son to me. But if the Council decides that he is needed somewhere else, there is nothing either of us can do about it. I don’t want to give you false hope. Perhaps it would be in your best interests to move on."

"Never. I will never move on. Giles, I love him, you know that."

"Yes, I do. But if you love something, you sometimes have to let it go."

Buffy didn’t want to let Angel go. "I’m not going to let go of Angel. Until he says he doesn’t want to be with me, I’ll be here for him. With him. Waiting for him."

********

Mr. Smythe shook Angel’s hand. "Congratulations, Angel. You passed all of your tests with flying colors. Never has a Watcher completed them in less than two months."

Angel smiled. The one thing he’d wanted since his childhood was finally his. He was a full-fledged Watcher. And with Buffy part of his life, Angel’s dream life became a reality. He had so much to be thankful for.

"Thank you very much, sir."

"It’s George, please. I wish I could have congratulated you earlier, but this is the first opportunity I’ve had."

"It means a lot either way."

"This party is in your honor, Angel. In a few minutes, I’ll announce to everyone that you have completed your testing, therefore making you a Watcher in all respects. You are one of us now, son. I am certain that you are aware that as a Watcher, you are required to choose a field of study. Geoffrey Kensington, your mother’s Watcher, chose to spend his life researching the territorial legions of demons and vampires in Los Angeles. I opted to study the lineage of master vampires. I’d like to discuss my findings with you someday soon," Mr. Smythe said.

"Thank you. I would really like to hear about it."

"Each Watcher is given a week to decide their field of study."

"I won’t be needing a week. I already know what I want to concentrate on," informed Angel.

Mr. Smythe raised his eyebrows. "So soon? What is it, may I ask?"

"The Hellmouth. I want to study the attraction of it to demons. Why they are pulled toward it and the different types of demons that reside there," he said.

"Quite ambitious of you, Angel. I like that. The Hellmouth shall be your area of study."

‘Now nothing can come between Buffy and I. We’ll be in Sunnydale fighting together,’ Angel thought.

Mr. Smythe motioned for Daniella to come over. "You remember my daughter Daniella, right?" he asked Angel.

Angel nodded. "I certainly do. Although it’s been two years since we’ve seen each other."

"Yes, she was leaving for Oxford to finish her final year at the university. She has since graduated and gone on to be a great help to the Council."

"Father, stop it," she said, blushing. "He likes to gush about me."

"He’s proud of you," Angel informed her.

Daniella gave Angel a half-smile. "It’s embarrassing." She glanced at her father, standing nearby with a few other people. "Congrats on becoming a Watcher. Just think, this party, all these people are here for you."

"Lucky me," he replied half-heartedly.

"You sound like you don’t want to be here," she observed.

Angel shrugged. "I suppose I don’t. I hardly know these people and I’m not the most social person. Most of the time I’m happiest sitting in my room alone with a good book."

"I know precisely what you mean." She ran a hand through her long auburn hair. "What do you say we leave early and do something fun?"

"I don’t know. This is my party..."

"And you just said that you hardly know anyone. We’ll leave after the formal announcement. Come on, nobody will miss us."

Angel thought about it for a couple of moments before agreeing. "Alright. What do you have in mind?"

The young woman grinned. "Something very fun. I guarantee it."

********

Daniella unlocked the door to her apartment. "Won’t you come in, Angel?" she invited.

"Okay."

"I just need to change out of this dress. It makes me feel like I’m a young girl playing dress-up. Make yourself at home while I am changing." She walked into her bedroom, heading for her closet.

Her father wanted her to do whatever it took to get Angel to forget about his girlfriend. Daniella didn’t see the point in beating around the bush, she decided to go right for the jugular and make her intentions known. She reached inside and pulled out a black nightgown from a padded hanger. ‘He seems like the type who likes dark colors. This will be just the ticket,’ she said to herself.

Stepping out of her green dress, she hung it up and dressed herself in the black nightgown. She piled her hair seductively on top of her head, then adjusted her makeup in front of the mirror. Deciding she looked perfect, she went back into the front room.

Angel sat on the couch, staring at his hands. He felt uncomfortable being in Daniella’s home. All he wanted to do was be at home in his own apartment, vegging on the couch with Buffy in his arms. When Daniella came out of her room and Angel saw her, he had never wanted to be home in Sunnydale more than right then.

"D-Daniella," he stuttered.

"Hi."

"What are you doing? Why are you dressed like that?"

"I told you I was changing. Don’t you like my nightgown?" she pouted.

He kept his gaze on her face, not her voluptuous curves. "I don’t know what you think is going to happen tonight, Daniella, but you are dead wrong if you expect me to sleep with you."

She slithered over to him, straddling him with her knees. "How about I change your mind?" She pushed his suit coat aside, unbuttoning a few of Angel’s shirt buttons and ran her fingers over his chest.

He didn’t know what to do, he’d never been in such a position before. His thoughts ran to Buffy and how much he loved her. There was no way he would ever betray her, not even to please the Watcher’s Council. Angel pushed Daniella’s hands from him.

"Get off me," he ordered.

"Don’t be such a prude, Angel. You want it just as much as I do."

He shook his head. "No, you’re wrong, Daniella."

She stood up. "Maybe I’m not."

"I have a girlfriend and I love her very much. I won’t cheat on her with you."

"Ah yes. Buffy," she said scornfully.

Angel glared at her. "What do you know about Buffy?"

"Only that she’s the current Slayer and that you’re screwing her."

Anger flared within him. Who was this girl to make comments regarding him and Buffy? "Who did you hear that from?"

"My father." Daniella couldn’t see the point in lying to him. She felt bad for him. Everyone was working against him. She didn’t want to be one of them. "Everybody knows about you two. Why do you think you are here? Because her Watcher wanted you out of her life. He told my father to find a reason for you to leave Sunnydale and he did. So here you are."

"Where do you fit into all this?" Angel wanted to know.

"Daddy enlisted my help. He wanted me to help you forget about your Buffy. His previous plans didn’t seem to be working."

"What plans?"

"I’m not sure. I’ve heard him mention something about intercepting letters."

Angel got up from the couch and put his coat back on. "Thank you, Daniella, for being so truthful with me. It’s nice to know that there is somebody out there willing to tell me the truth." He moved toward the door.

"Angel, I am very sorry for everything. I only did what my father asked me to," Daniella apologized.

"I know."

"Are you in love with this Buffy?"

Angel nodded. "Yes, I am."

Daniella smiled at him. His love for the Slayer was written all over his face. "Then I wish you all the happiness in the world. Good luck, Angel."

********

Angel didn’t bother knocking on the door before entering George Smythe’s office the next day. He looked up at the young man who had just entered.

"Angel, hello. What can I do for you?"

"I demand an explanation."

"I have no idea what you are talking about."

"Then let me refresh your memory. Taking my letters to Buffy, telling your daughter to seduce me, keeping me away from telephones. Etc. Does any of this ring a bell for you?" Angel asked.

"We only did what we thought was best for you."

Angel took a deep breath. "We? As in you and Giles?"

"Yes. Angel, I have taken it upon myself to secure you a job on the Hellmouth in Cleveland," Mr. Smythe told him.

"Cleveland? No, my life, my home is in Sunnydale."

"Not anymore. You leave for Cleveland in two days."

Angel pounded his fist on the desk. "No! Everyone I care about, everyone I love is in Sunnydale."

"I’m sorry. You asked to be stationed on the Hellmouth and I arranged for it."

He shook his head in disbelief. "You know, I never thought I’d be forced to choose between the life I’ve always wanted and the woman I love. I’ve always wanted to be a Watcher. My whole life, I grew up knowing about what goes bump in the night and wanted to help in the fight against those things. And the Watcher’s Council took care of me growing up. But now that I have fallen in love, you think you can tell me that I can’t be with her? No, I don’t think so. If you force me to choose between the two of you, you may not like my choice."

"Don’t do this, son."

"Son? Don’t call me that. I’m not your son. The only parent I have ever had is dead," Angel spat.

"We know of your relationship with Buffy Summers. And while I do not believe it’s a good idea, I don’t want you to waste your talent and intellect. If you want to be with the Slayer, the Watcher’s Council will not interfere," Mr. Smythe promised.

"You’re serious?" Angel couldn’t believe it.

Mr. Smythe nodded. "I am. You are quite an asset to us. We don’t want to lose you over a petty difference. Angel, you may return to Sunnydale and study the Hellmouth there. I shall make the arrangements."

Angel sighed with relief. "I appreciate your cooperation."

"I wish you well. We all do."

********

40

Buffy, Willow and Cordelia were sitting in the Student Center eating their lunches during their hour break before Psychology class.

"Did you check out our T.A. for Psych the other day? My god, he’s so gorgeous," Cordelia said. "I mean, have you ever seen bigger muscles on a man before?"

"No," Willow answered.

"I have," Buffy replied.

Cordelia looked at Buffy. "Excluding Angel. We already know he’s built like a god."

Buffy raised her eyebrows in amusement. "And how do you know that, Cordelia? I’m the one who’s seen him naked, not you."

"Have you forgotten the day after Prom? He came into the kitchen while I was eating. And he was wearing Xander’s shorts and nothing else. Buffy, he’s got the perfect body," commentd the brunette. "And our T.A. comes in a pretty close second."

"What’s his name?" Willow asked.

"I don’t know. I wasn’t exactly paying attention when he was talking," Cordelia admitted. "Staring was more what I was doing."

"His name is Riley Finn," Buffy told them.

Willow was astonished. "Buffy, you were actually paying attention?"

"Hey! It happens once in a while. But not in this case. I was at the bookstore the day before yesterday and dropped a pile of books on his head."

Cordelia laughed. "Real smooth."

"Yeah, I know. He introduced himself after I almost comatized him. He seems like a nice guy."

"And he’s on his way over," said Willow.

"Oh my god. How do I look?" Cordelia wanted to know.

"Fine. Perfect as usual."

A tall blonde-haired man stopped at their table. He rested his eyes on Buffy and smiled. "Hi. Buffy, right?"

"Yep. How’s your head, Riley?"

"Suddenly painless."

‘He’s blatantly flirting with her! Why do all the hot guys always fall for Buffy? When did I become chopped liver?’ Cordelia thought. She cleared her throat in an effort to gain Buffy’s attention.

It worked. "Riley, these are my two best friends. Willow Rosenburg and Cordelia Chase. We’re all in your Psychology class."

Riley smiled. "How are you liking it so far?"

"Can’t complain yet," flirted Cordelia.

"Well, I hope you continue to feel that way. It won’t be an easy class."

"I like a good challenge."

"Great. Willow, Cordelia, it was a pleasure meeting you. Buffy, maybe I’ll see you around campus. We can get a coffee or something," said Riley.

Buffy nodded and smiled. "Sure."

When Riley was out of earshot, Cordelia turned to Buffy. "‘We can get a coffee or something,’" she mocked. "He was totally flirting with you, Buffy."

"No, he wasn’t. Riley was just being friendly."

"How many older, gorgeous guys ask you out for coffee?" Seeing the look on Buffy’s face and remembering Angel, Cordelia took back her question. "Never mind, don’t answer that."

"He *was* flirting, Buffy. And you were flirting back," Willow said to her best friend.

Buffy shook her head. "No."

Cordelia nodded. "Yes. You agreed to have coffee with him sometime. Buffy, you made a date with the guy." She laughed. "I know it’s been a few weeks since you had sex, but you do have a boyfriend."

"How can you even say that, Cordy? I love Angel and I would never in a million years cheat on him."

"You had better tell that to Riley before he thinks he’s got a chance with you," Willow suggested.

Buffy took a sip of her Dr. Pepper. "I will. God, I wish Angel would come home soon. Everything would be better if he were here."

********

After leaving the Sunnydale airport, Angel’s first stop was the high school library. He was positive that Giles would be there preparing for school to begin the following week. Angel pushed the double doors open, finding the older Watcher standing at the table with his back to him.

"Hello, Giles," Angel said.

He turned around to see a red-faced, angry Angel standing five feet away.

"Angel. What are you doing here?" Giles was shocked to see him.

"Surprised to see me?"

"A little. I thought you were still in England. When did you return?"

"About twenty minutes ago. I thought I’d come and see you first."

Giles raised his eyebrows. "Really? What for?"

"I brought you back a souvenir from my trip." Angel balled his right hand into a fist and punched the Watcher in the jaw.

Giles stumbled backward. Rubbing his jaw, he asked angrily, "What the hell was that for?"

"You deserved it after everything you’ve done to keep me away from Buffy. I came by to give you that and to say your plan didn’t work. You honestly believed that one month away from Buffy would make me forget about her? It didn’t. Oh, don’t me wrong, it was a good plan, and the Council tried real hard. Gave it the old college try, but they failed.

"George Smythe and his daughter Daniella explained everything. How you explained to him my relationship with Buffy; that you wanted me out of Sunnydale and her life. You came up with the idea that there should be no contact between us whatsoever. I couldn’t even pick up a phone to call her and let her know that I was alright. My letters to her were stolen by Mr. Smythe. God only knows what Buffy must think right now. It’s been a month since I left and no word from me. She probably thinks I found someone else, that I moved on. And I’m sure you did nothing to dissuade her thinking.

"You want to know what the best part of this plot of yours was? When Daniella Smythe tried to get me to have sex with her." He noted the look of surprise on Giles’ face. "Yeah, that’s right. She was offered up as a sacrifice for the good of the cause. Invited me over to her apartment and attempted to seduce me. When it didn’t work, she filled me in on everything. And two days ago, George Smythe did the same. Then I gave him an ultimatum -- either leave me and Buffy alone or I leave the Council. So he agree, and here I am. Back in Sunnydale permanently."

Giles’ eyes widened. "You quit the Council?"

Angel shook his head. "No he said that he would let me live on the Hellmouth and study it and the Council would no longer interfere in my relationship with Buffy."

"George Smythe agreed to this?"

"Yes. See, unlike you, he believes in me. He didn’t want me to quit the Council. He wants me to be happy. With Buffy. And there is nothing you can do about it, Giles. I’m a Watcher now; you’re no longer my boss and I don’t take orders from you. So stay out of my personal business."

"No, not as long as your personal business includes having sex with my Slayer."

"Then why don’t you take that up with George Smythe? What you want is no longer my concern, Ripper."

Giles visibly paled upon hearing his former nickname. "Where did you hear that from?" he asked.

"I did a little research while in England, including learning about the past histories of current Watchers. You may act all high and mighty now, but you certainly weren’t when you were summoning up demons in college, were you, Giles?"

Giles gritted his teeth. "Angel, you are never to bring up that name again. Is that understood?"

"I’ll make a deal with you. I won’t mention Ripper if you leave me and Buffy alone. No more calls to the Watcher’s Council and I don’t want to hear how dangerous it is. Are we agreed?"

"We are agreed."

"Good. Now, I’m off to unpack and see my girlfriend. Always a pleasure to see you, Giles." Without another word, Angel left the library.

********

Buffy had finished her patrol early and sat at a table in the Expresso Pump, lost in her thoughts. She conjured up an image of herself and Angel standing at a church altar saying their vows in front of friends and family. Her dress was of the purest white satin and lace while Angel wore a black tux. They needed no words to state the depth of their love, their eyes said it all. Buffy smiled at the image. ‘I want that to be reality; I want to marry Angel. He’s changed my life so much, showing me what true love is, and giving me a reason to believe in a future. He’s the only person I want to grow old with. And without him, I don’t want to be alive.’

She was so deep in thought that she didn’t see Riley approach her table, carrying a cup of coffee. "Buffy, hi. I thought it was you."

"Riley, what are you doing out?"

"It’s only nine o’clock. I came out to get a cup of coffee and saw you sitting her by yourself. Would you mind if I join you?" he asked.

"Go right ahead."

Riley took a seat. "How are you doing?"

"Alright I guess. You?"

"Good. Enjoying the beginning of the semester relaxation period. No tests or papers to grade."

Buffy smiled. "It only goes downhill from here, huh?"

"Oh yeah."

Angel walked in the coffee shop. He’d been unpacking and cleaning his apartment for three hours and was now about to begin grocery shopping before calling Buffy. First, though, he needed some caffeine in his system. He had been awake for almost twenty-four hours straight.

It wasn’t very crowded for a Friday night, only half the tables were occupied. Angel wanted to sit and relax for a couple minutes, and knew he could find a seat without difficulty. As he neared the counter to place his order, he heard a familiar laugh. Glancing back, Angel caught sight of a girl with blonde hair sitting with another blonde-haired man. He’d know that laugh anywhere. It was Buffy, having coffee with an attractive older man.

He was crushed. Gone a month and the woman he loved found someone else to love. Looking in the other man’s eyes, Angel could see the love that shone from them. ‘Has Buffy fallen in love with that guy? Did she forget about me?’ Angel decided to find out. Placing his order for coffee, he paid for it, then sat down at a nearby table where Buffy wouldn’t see him.

"Have you picked a major yet?" Riley wanted to know.

"I haven’t decided. I’m not what you would call the scholastic type."

"I’d like to help you in any way I can."

‘I'll bet,’ thought Angel.

"Thanks, Riley. We’ll see how it goes," Buffy answered.

"Look, Buffy, I’m not going to beat around the bush here. I find you very attractive and I’d like to see more of you outside the classroom," Riley said to her.

Buffy didn’t reply right away, which made Angel a bit nervous. "I wish I could say the same, but I can’t. Riley, I have a boyfriend. He’s out of the country right now, he has been for a month. And I love him very much, I want to spend the rest of my life with him. I’m sorry if I’ve led you on in any way, but I’m with Angel. I could never betray him."

Angel didn’t stick around to hear what Riley had to say about it. He didn’t need to, he knew that Buffy still loved and wanted to be with him. Tomorrow he would let her know he was back. For good.

********

41

It was another sleepless night for Buffy; her dream keeping her from sleeping peacefully. She tossed and turned, kicking her blankets off the bed because of said dream. It wasn't one that any sane person would want to remember when they woke up. Unfortunately for her, she did. She and Angel were on their nightly patrol through one of Sunnydale's cemeteries when out of nowhere a gang of vampires attacked. Three surrounded Angel and five surrounded her. Buffy easily dusted her five while Angel fought off his attackers. She turned around to help him, but a taller, blonde woman blocked her way. Even in her dream, the female vampire looked vaguely familiar to Buffy, though she couldn't quite place how.

"Stay away from my boy," she threatened before shoving Buffy against a mausoleum, the Slayer crumpling to the ground. "He's mine."

Buffy awoke completely out of breath. The vampire had killed her, she knew that for a fact. Had killed her because of Angel. `We couldn't protect each other…I couldn't save him and he couldn't save me. Was Giles right? Would we be better off if Angel didn't come back?'

She shook her head. "My God, what am I thinking? Of course I want him to come back. I just hope he does soon. There's so much I want to tell him."

Buffy definitely wished that he had been there for her that first week of school. His shoulder would have been the one she'd leaned on when her creative writing professor kicked her out of class. And when she dropped three pounds of books on Riley Finn's head at the bookstore. Having Angel gone was like having her best friend gone. Only she didn't know when, or if, he'd be back.

********

Angel stood on the Summers' front porch, poised to ring the doorbell. He hesitated for a minute, wondering if maybe he should have called first. `What if Buffy doesn't want to see me? Maybe she only said those things to that guy to keep him from asking her out. Will she slam the door in my face?' He sighed. `Only one way to find out.' Pressing the doorbell, Angel waited.

The chime of the bell made Buffy lose her focus on the pages she was studying. She wasn't expecting anyone. Willow and Oz were in L.A. for a Dingoes gig and Xander and Cordelia had a family picnic to go to. The possibilities ran through her mind on the way downstairs, only to see it was Angel who stood on the other side. At first, she wasn't sure it was really him; it had been so long. "Angel? Is it really you?"

He gave her a nervous grin. "Yeah, it is."

She didn't waste any time, throwing her arms around his neck in what was practically a chokehold. "I can't believe it."

Angel smiled his first real smile in weeks. "You better believe it."

"Come on inside, we're letting all the bugs in." Buffy let go of him, stepping back to give him room.

"I'm not interrupting you, am I?"

"I was studying, believe me, you're not interrupting anything. When did you get back?"

"Last night."

She led him to the couch, sitting down close to him. "Why didn't you come by?"

"I had a lot to do."

"A lot to do? You didn't call or write to me for a month, and the day you come back from England you had too much to do?" The harshness was evident in her voice.

He looked both ashamed and angry. "I wanted to call, I tried to. The council said I couldn't call anyone in Sunnydale. Don't even get me started on the letters…they intercepted those, too."

"They know about us, don't they?" He laughed bitterly.

"I was sent there to get over you."

"Giles told them, didn't he?" She didn't really need his answer to confirm her suspicions.

"He told George Smythe to get me out of Sunnydale."

"Did they let you come back? Or…" She let the question trail off, unable to even contemplate that he could have come back only to leave her again.

"I passed all the required tests to become a watcher. All Watchers pick an area of study; I chose the Hellmouth. They were going to send me somewhere else, but I convinced them to let me come here. Managed to get George Smythe to explain the whole arrangement between him and Giles. I convinced him it would be in their best interests to let us see each other, unless they wanted me to quit."

Buffy swallowed and took a deep breath. Her next question was one that she wasn't sure she wanted an answer to.

"So you didn't forget about me? You still want to be with me?"

Angel took her into his arms. "Yes, Buffy. There's nothing standing in our way now. Not the Council, not Giles, no one. And I could never forget about you. I love you, remember?"

"When you didn't call, I thought you didn't want to see me anymore. Thought you'd found someone else."

"Buffy, you're the one I love, the only one I want to love. There could never be anyone else."

She lifted her head. "I wasn't sure I'd ever see you again. Giles told me to move on, that you probably wouldn't be coming back to Sunnydale."

"I'm here now."

"Why didn't you come by when you got back? Why did you wait until today?"

"I took the first flight out on Thursday night. When I got back yesterday, I went to talk to Giles, told him to leave us alone. Then I wanted to get everything situated before I saw you. I knew it would never get done if I came here first. But I did see you yesterday."

"When? Where? I didn't see you."

"At the coffee shop with that guy."

Buffy looked down. "Riley…he's my T.A. for Psychology."

"I heard some of your conversation. I'm sorry for eavesdropping, but I had to know if you'd found someone else; if maybe you were seeing him." He smiled reassuringly at her. "I heard you tell him about me…about how you feel about me. I left."

"You should have said something."

"I didn't want to shock you, wanted it to be private, just you and me. Not in front of half of Sunnydale."

"Here we are."

Angel nodded. "Yep, here we are. I'm not leaving you, Buffy. I'm back for good."

Buffy put her arms around him, resting her cheek on his shoulder, reassured by the warmth she felt through his shirt. `Kevin was wrong…Angel still wants to be with me,'. She kissed him softly on his neck, trailing a line of kisses all the way to his mouth.

Their first kiss since being reunited was full of love and passion, need and want. Angel placed his hands on either side of her face. It felt wonderful to be able to hold her, to kiss her, just to touch her again. Four weeks had been too long to go without. "I missed you so much," he said between kisses.

"It was torture," Buffy agreed. "Promise you'll never leave again."

"I promise."

She brought her lips to his again. Her hands made their way along Angel's sides, stopping when they reached the waistband of his jeans. She untucked his shirt, bringing her fingers into contact with his heated skin. They brushed across his abs, around his sides to his back. She loved touching him.

He broke the kiss when he felt her go for his belt. "We have to stop."

"Huh?"

"We can't do this here." He was out of breath. "We just can't."

She returned her attention to his belt. "Yes, we can. My mom won't be home for hours. She's at the gallery doing inventory."

"That's not what I mean. I wasn't expecting to be doing this tonight, I didn't bring anything."

Buffy just shook her head. "I don't care, Angel. I want you to touch me…to feel you inside me. I don't care about protection, I just want to be with you."

"No."

"We've gone without it before and everything turned out fine," she tried to reason.

Angel gazed into her eyes. "We were lucky. I'm not going to put you through that."

"It's my decision. And I want to make love to you, I don't want to have to wait. Please, Angel. Please."

He saw the desperation in her eyes. Despite his reservations, he couldn't deny her anything. He wanted to be with her just as badly. "Not here, though. Not on a couch."

Buffy stood up, taking his hands in hers. "We can go to my room…"

********

42

Angel followed Buffy to her bedroom, still holding her hand. It would be another first time for them; never before had they made love in her house, it was always in his apartment. Buffy didn't let go of him until she closed her bedroom door behind them. Bypassing her bed, she walked to the window and closed the shades.

"I don't want the neighbors to see us. The kid next door is kind of a Peeping Tom," she explained with a smile.

He returned it. "I guess we'd be giving him an eyeful."

She made her way back to his side. Instead of kissing him, she hugged him close to her. "Thank you for being here; for coming back. I started to think you wouldn't."

"I love you too much to ever leave you, Buffy. You're everything to me."

Buffy looked him in the eye. "Then show me."

He brought his right hand to her cheek, caressing it with the backs of two fingers. Angel's lips met hers, bringing forth a passionate kiss he'd been holding in for a month. No longer did he care that he didn't bring the necessary protection they needed. He only cared about showing Buffy how much he missed and loved her.

Buffy grabbed hold of the bottom of his shirt, pulling it over his chest, neck, head and raised arms. She pressed her lips over his heart, which pounded rapidly. Remembering what Angel had told her, Buffy smiled. "Does your heart still beat for me?"

Angel stroked her hair. "Yes. It always will."

"So does mine."

His heart soared. "I love you so much."

"Me too. We've lost so much time, Angel."

"I know. And I promise you, I'll make up for it."

Angel moved his hand down her bare back, finding the thin strap to her halter top. He untied it, then went to the back of her neck to do the same to the other strap. Holding the loose garment, Angel slid it from her body, brushing his fingers along the naked skin of her chest.

"I want you to touch me," Buffy said to him. "I want to feel your hands on me."

He kissed her. "I will. But first let me finish this."

She nodded, feeling his lips on her cheek, then on her neck. When he bypassed her breasts in favor of kneeling down, she let out a soft whimper. He was eye-level with the buttons on her shorts, and slowly released them. Buffy stepped out of them once he pushed them to the ground.

He let his hands roam across her legs, feeling her calf muscles. They continued upward to stroke her kneecaps and her thighs. His thumbs brushed against her inner thighs, centimeters from where Buffy wanted him to touch her. Once again, he ignored her desires, found her panties and tugged them down. Angel stood up.

Buffy stood before him, naked and open to him, while he still wore his jeans and socks. She didn't question it when he moved behind her. It seemed like an eternity before he touched her again, his mouth finding the sensitive skin under her left earlobe. She leaned her head back, sighing. He knew just what she liked.

She reached behind her, grabbing his wrists, forcing his arms around her waist. She held them there, wanting more contact with him. Letting him finish his work on her neck, Buffy turned her head and looked at him. She closed her eyes when their lips met. "Touch me now," she said between kisses.

She released her hold on his wrists when they moved toward her breasts. Angel cupped them in his hands, gently kneading them with his fingers. Each of his pointer fingers traced light circles around her nipples until they became hard from the attention. Bringing in his thumbs, the four fingers rolled around the nipples. Buffy pressed her breasts harder against his hands from the pleasure of his ministrations.

Angel knew Buffy wanted him to touch her, but he didn't know if she would want him to touch her where he desperately wanted to. He decided to take his chances; if she said no, he'd find another way, another place. His right hand abandoned her breast, which Buffy hardly noticed. It trailed across her ribcage, over her navel, stopping at the juncture between her legs. One of his fingers rubbed her outer lips, finding its way to her clit.

Buffy tensed up, her muscles tightening when he touched her there. He was finally touching her where she wanted him to. Almost instantaneously, she relaxed, moaning into his mouth. Angel took it as a sign that she liked it. He rubbed her again, then traced it lightly with his fingertip, flicking it at regular intervals.

She had to break their kiss when her breathing became erratic. Her climax was about to come, one more touch of his hand and she would be there. She didn't have to wait long, and Angel held her about the waist as she came. Her legs buckled beneath her, forcing all her weight onto her unprepared lover. They toppled to the floor, Angel cushioning her fall.

Buffy turned herself over so she lay on top, facing him. She was still panting for air. "Are you okay?" he asked.

"Just need to catch my breath."

He gazed deep in to her eyes. "I didn't hurt you or scare you, did I?"

"No. I wanted you to touch me like that."

"I wasn't sure…"

Placing a kiss on his cheek, Buffy smiled shyly at him. "You don't every have to be afraid to touch me anywhere, Angel. I trust you more than anyone else."

"That means more than you'll ever know." He rolled them over so that he was on top. With his arms on either side of her, Angel kissed her.

While he did that, Buffy got to finish what she began in the living room, ripping the belt from the loops. Her hands worked feverishly to get the remainder of his clothing off. He helped her by kicking off the jeans and boxer shorts, then pulling off his socks.

Angel knelt above her, taking her hands in his, pulling her to her feet as he did the same. Backwards, he led her to the bed, where they laid down next to each other, staring. He was mere inches from her breasts, and he rubbed her hand over her left side, then brought her to him.

"I missed this; laying in bed with you," Angel admitted.

"So did I." She threw her leg over his hip, leaving herself open to him.

Angel accepted the invitation, situating himself above her and pushing himself inside inch by inch. Buffy ran her foot over the back of his leg in time with his gentle thrusts. Her hands caressed his muscled arms, then along his sides to his back and then to the nape of his neck, tangling her fingers in his hair. It felt perfect, holding him in her arms again.

They made love like it was their first time all over again. It wasn't fast and furious, but gentle and loving. It was about experiencing each other, showing the other how much they missed being together and how deep their love ran. But as their orgasms approached, Angel could no longer be gentle. He pounded into her so hard that her headboard knocked against the wall with each thrust. Neither stopped when it detached and fell to the floor.

After they calmed down, Buffy said to him, "I think we broke my bed."

Angel laughed. "Sorry. I'll buy you a new one."

"Not that I'm complaining, because it was definitely worth it."

No words were said for several minutes. Both were reveling in being there with the one they loved. Buffy thought about how only four hours earlier, she wondered if it would be better if Angel never came back. `It's almost like he never left. Except that he did.' Then she recalled the previous Saturday at the Bronze with Kevin.

"Angel, there's something I need to tell you."

"What is it?"

She bit her lip before starting. "Something happened while you were away."

"Did something happen to you? Are you okay?" Angel was suddenly concerned.

Buffy nodded. She rested her head on his chest. "I'm fine. It wasn't a vampire or anything demon-like. It happened last week at the Bronze. I was out with the gang and I was feeling really lonely." She took a deep breath. "Angel, I never meant to hurt you."

"Buffy, tell me what happened."

"Kevin asked me to dance, and I said yes. And he kissed me. You have to know that I never wanted him to and I pushed him away. He told me you were probably sick of me; that—that—that making love to me wasn't exciting enough for you and you found someone in England who was more fun." Tears fell down her face.

"You know that's not true."

"But I believed him. I hadn't heard from you in weeks and what he said made sense. You have to understand that I never meant to betray you by kissing Kevin."

Angel forced her to look at him. "You didn't betray me any more than I betrayed you."

Buffy felt relieved that he forgave her, that he didn't blame her. But his words held some other meaning she wanted an explanation for. "What do you mean by that?"

"You remember how I told you that the Council wanted me to forget about you?" Buffy nodded. "Part of their plan was to have me fall in love with someone else. Her name was Daniella Smythe, and she's the daughter of the Head of the Council. Wednesday night, the Council held a congratulatory party in honor of my becoming a Watcher. I didn't know anyone, so Daniella and I left early. To make a long story short, she tried to seduce me into bed, but I said no. Buffy, all I could think of was you, I wasn't even remotely interested in her. We never even kissed."

"But I kissed Kevin. I cheated on you."

"No, you didn't. He kissed you and you pushed him away. You're not to blame. And believe me, when I get my hands on him, he'll wish he never laid a hand on you."

Buffy snuggled closer to him. "I love it when you're protective."

Angel glanced at her alarm clock. "What time is your mom coming home?"

"Two o'clock, I think. Why?"

"Because it's one-thirty now. Maybe we better get up before she gets home," he suggested.

"Good idea. She doesn't need to know that we couldn't wait."

********

"When did you get back, Angel?" Mrs. Summers asked.

The three of them sat around the kitchen table. "Yesterday. Between having to unpack, shop for food and jet lag, I didn't have the energy to come see Buffy until today," he answered.

"Buffy says you had to take your final Watcher's tests. I take it you passed, then?"

He nodded. "Yes. I'm officially a Watcher. I'll be staying here in Sunnydale to study."

"So you won't be leaving my daughter anytime soon?"

"I'm here for good."

"Good. Buffy's been miserable this past month without you," she informed him. "Why didn't you call her?"

"I wasn't allowed to make any outside phone calls during my testing. Council's orders."

Mrs. Summers smiled. "Prevents cheating, I suppose. Well, I'm going to lay down for a little while. Angel, welcome back."

"Thanks, I'm glad to be back."

"Buffy, may I talk to you for a minute?"

Angel pulled out his car keys from his pocket. "I'll wait outside."

Buffy's mother waited until he was outside before she spoke. "Should I expect you home tonight?"

"No. I'm going to stay at the apartment with Angel."

"Don't think I don't know what you two will be doing. I don't mean to sound like a broken record, Buffy, but please, please be careful," reminded Mrs. Summers.

"We always are." `Almost always.'

********

43

A resonant crash of thunder awoke Buffy in the middle of the night. She'd never been a fan of thunderstorms, and she wanted to lay in the protection of Angel's arms. But a bolt of lightning showed that she was alone in the bed. Casting her eyes around the room, she found no sign of him.

She sat up. "Angel?" she called.

No answer. Climbing out of bed, Buffy wrapped the red comforter around her shoulders, shielding her from the coolness of the air conditioned apartment. She walked out of his bedroom, seeing a single light shining in the living room. Buffy found Angel sitting on the floor.

"What are you doing up?" she asked.

Angel raised his head. "The light didn't wake you, did it?"

Buffy shook her head. "No, the thunder did. How come you're not in bed?"

"I'm just thinking."

"About what?" Buffy sat on the floor next to him, still wrapped in the comforter.

He shrugged. "Everything. You and me especially."

"Do you want to talk about it?"

Nodding, Angel ran a hand through his tossled brown hair, still somewhat messy from sleeping. "I woke up a little while ago and saw you sleeping. You had this amazing smile on your face, and some part of me knew I was the one who put it there. Then I got to thinking that I'm so lucky to have you, but I don't feel like I deserve you," he explained.

"Why would you think that, Angel?"

"Buffy, you've given me so much; much more than I should have been given."

"Like what?"

"Letting me be a part of your life, giving me your love…your virginity…"

"And you gave me all those things, too," she reminded him.

Angel inhaled and exhaled deeply. "I just don't feel worthy of anything you've given me."

"Hey," Buffy said, making him look her in the eye. "If I didn't think you were worthy, I wouldn't have let any of it happen."

"That's what makes me so lucky. When I was in high school, I never thought I'd meet someone who'd love me; who I could love without reservation. Girls didn't look twice at me, I was just some geek they passed in the hall."

"I can't picture you as a geek."

"I wasn't exactly the star quarterback of the football team. At best, I weighed one hundred pounds soaking wet, had really bad hair and acne. My nose was always buried in a book, I was a teacher's pet and the butt of everyone's jokes. I'd been very shy; I didn't even go out on my first date until college, and you were the first – the only – girl I've ever kissed. My self-esteem was never very high, and I still wonder why you fell in love with me."

Buffy saw him shivering in the cold. She put part of the comforter around his shoulders to warm him. "I can't explain why I love you; there's not one single reason I can pinpoint and say that's why. It's a combination of everything. The way you know what I'm thinking, what I'm feeling and how you comfort me when I feel down. The way you smile when I come into the room, the way you touch me…the way you love me."

"Would you have loved the loser I was ten years ago?" Angel wanted to know. "The walking bag of bones with hardly a friend who cared? The eighteen year old with a horrible complexion and really bad hair?"

"I don't know that version of you. I do know the smart, loving, handsome Angel sitting next to me. And I love him more than life itself. Could you have loved the girl I was before I moved to Sunnydale? A self- centered snob who cared more about looks than what was on the inside?"

"You changed into a kind and caring young woman."

"And you changed, too, Angel. Maybe we had to be those people so we could fall in love with each other."

Angel pulled her into his arms. "If all those people who knew us then could see us now. I can't wait for my high school reunion."

"Do I get to come?"

"Are you free October 17th?" he asked with a smile.

"I'll check my calendar."

He laughed at her joke. "Thank you, Buffy. For believing in me."

"I always will."

She kissed him, pushing him onto the floor with her. It grew to be more passionate, more intimate with each passing second. Angel stopped them. "Why did you stop?" Buffy asked.

"Because you deserve to be made love to in a bed, now on a living room floor."

"It doesn't matter where, as long as it's with you. We could do it in the back seat of your car and it would be perfect because I was with you," she said to him.

Filled with a renewed sense of self-esteem and love for the young woman beneath him, Angel gave in and made love to her on the carpet of his living room.

********

Late Monday morning, Angel walked through the front door of the art gallery. Even though it was closed for inventory, the door was unlocked. Shoving his hands in the pockets of his black trousers, Angel made his way down the hall to Joyce Summers' office.

"Excuse me, sir, but we're closed," a man told Angel as he passed.

"I'm here to see Joyce Summers. Is she in?" he asked.

"Are you the representative from the San Diego art museum?"

Angel shook his head. "No, I'm here on personal business."

"Oh, okay. Her office is the last one on the right," the man directed before walking away.

The door to her office was shut, so Angel knocked. "Come in," called Mrs. Summers. She smiled when her daughter's boyfriend entered. "Angel, this is a pleasant surprise. To what do I owe the honor?"

"Hi, Joyce. I actually stopped by to ask you a question."

She pointed to the chair next to hers. "Please, sit down."

Angel did so. In taking a seat, he noticed that Mrs. Summers kept a framed photo of himself and Buffy, taken at the Prom, sitting on her desk. It brought a smile to his face. "How are you doing?" he asked, trying to make small talk.

"I'm doing well. This inventory is making my life a nightmare, but otherwise, everything's fine. And yourself?"

"Truthfully, I feel nervous."

Mrs. Summers narrowed her eyes slightly. "Why is that?"

"Because I'm about to do something I've never done before." Angel took a deep breath. "Joyce, I love Buffy. No, more than that – I'm in love with her. Nobody's ever made me feel the way she does. Important, special, and most of all, loved. It's an honor that she feels as deeply for me as I do her. She's given me so much that I never thought I'd experience.

"When I was in England for those four weeks, Buffy was all I could think of. Being apart from her was more than I could bear sometimes. There would be days when I'd want to say to hell with it all and get back to Sunnydale as fast as I could. But then I'd think about how disappointed she'd be in me, and I'd go on. That thought got me through that entire month. I didn't want to disappoint her; I want to be the man she believes I am, a man who deserves her love." He pulled a small velvet box from his pocket. "I found this in London; it called out to me. I'd like to give it to Buffy at Christmas."

Mrs. Summers opened the box, staring in awe at the contents. "Is this what I think it is?"

"Before I give Buffy this ring, I'd like your permission…your blessing."

"I wouldn't be completely honest if I told you I wasn't concerned at how quickly this has come about."

"Joyce," Angel started, "I realize we've only known each other for four months, but I feel like I've known Buffy forever. She's everything I have ever wanted, ever dreamed about. We love each other, and I don't want to be separated from her again. This ring means that nobody can keep us apart."

"Still…"

"It's not as if we'd be getting married the next day. I'm talking maybe two years from now. There's still so much we have to learn about each other. This engagement ring is more of a promise that whenever Buffy is ready, I'll marry her. And I want you to know that your daughter will not lack for anything in life. She'll be given everything, a house with a white picket fence, a family, and financial security for the rest of her life."

Mrs. Summers sighed heavily. "Christmas, you said?"

"Yes. Do you think it's too much? Something smaller?" he asked.

"She'll love it, I'm positive."

Angel's eyes glinted excitedly. "Does that mean I have your blessing?"

She nodded. "You never needed my blessing, Angel, you had it from the moment I saw how much you love my daughter. I just wanted to hear what you had to say now. I'd be proud to have you as a son-in-law."

"Thank you so much. It means a lot."

"Promise you'll take care of her."

Angel smiled. "I won't let anything happen to her. You have my word."

********

"Sire, when are we going to attack?" the vampire asked as they watched Buffy and Angel from the wooded thatch at the edge of the cemetery. "The Slayer is weak and vulnerable now, it's not like she'd be prepared."

His sire looked at the couple, engaged in a kiss. She couldn't make out the young man, but recognized the little blonde Slayer. "How many times do I have to tell you never to question me?"

"I apologize, ma'am. I thought –"

"That was your first mistake, Nathan, you had a thought. I need to study her; find a pattern. If I am to successfully eliminate her, I must get to know her. Where's the fun in killing the Slayer if she isn't expecting it? I want to see the fear in her eyes before I snap her neck."

She heard the conversation between the Slayer and her boyfriend. "We shouldn't do it here. Someone might see us," Angel said.

"It makes it kinky. The danger…"

"If you want danger, Buffy, we'll do something dangerous at my apartment."

Buffy playfully shoved him. "You are such a spoilsport, Angel Reilly."

The female vampire took an unnecessary breath. "Nathan, head back to the factory right away."

"But, sire—"

"Now!" she hissed. "Leave the Slayer and the young man to me."

He nodded his head once. "Yes, ma'am."

"It's been a long time, Angel. Too long," she said to herself as she watched the two lovers.

********

44

Angel pulled alongside the curb in time to see Mrs. Summers step out the front door. He walked quickly over to her car, opening the door for her. "Good morning, Joyce."

"You're here awfully early today, Angel."

"I thought I'd stop by and surprise Buffy. She has later classes on Tuesdays, so I'm going to take her out for breakfast," Angel informed Buffy's mother.

"That's very nice of you."

He looked toward the house. "Is she awake yet?"

"I heard movement coming from her room a few minutes ago. Go on in, I have to get to work but I'll see you later." Mrs. Summers climbed into the driver's seat and backed the Jeep out of the driveway.

Angel walked in the house and up the stairs. He heard the shower start running when he reached the top step. It gave him an idea.

Buffy rubbed the shampoo in her hair, then washed her face with strawberry scented body wash. Her head was totally under the water, her eyes closed, never noticing the shower door open or Angel stepping in. She nearly screamed when she turned around, seeing him standing there completely naked with only a smile on his face.

"Oh my god, Angel. You nearly gave me a heart attack," she admonished.

"I thought I'd surprise you."

Buffy shook her head, laughing. "Why on earth are you here in the shower?"

"You said last night that you wanted us to try something dangerous…kinky. Well, I thought the shower might be a good place to start."

She giggled. "I guess it's a lot safer than the cemetery."

He ducked under the shower, capturing her lips in a heated kiss. The hot water splashed over him, turning his skin red, but increased his arousal. He wasn't sure how long he could last before he had to be inside her. Not long, Angel bet. A line of kisses trailed from Buffy's lips down to her neck, and she pressed her back against the wall when his lips found her breasts.

She held his head in place as he sucked greedily, licking and lightly nibbling on her nipple. He gave the same attention to her other breast before moving downward toward her navel. His tongue darted in and out of her belly button and feather-light kisses across her stomach made Buffy giggle. When he reached a finger between her legs, running along her slit, her legs trembled and she needed to clutch his shoulders to remain standing. She moaned with pleasure.

Angel attended to pleasuring her for another minute, then he stood up. The look of raw lust and passion in her eyes told him how much she wanted him right then. "Do you want me -- "

She refused to let him continue. "Now. I want you inside me *now*." ,p. He had to make sure before he did anything without her permission. He lifted her hips so they were level with his, and Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist. She could feel him at her opening, but he made no attempt to enter. Her entire body on fire, Buffy held him tightly with one arm while the other moved downward, finding his erection. She squeezed it and ran her nails along the length, making her lover growl. If that wouldn't get him to enter her, nothing would.

It worked. Using his entire body, Angel pushed her hard against the shower wall and thrust himself home. Buffy shrieked at the invasion, but held on tightly as he pounded away. It wasn't exactly gentle and she didn't care. She wanted him any way he would give himself to her. With her forehead resting on his shoulder, Buffy screamed as her orgasm hit.

"Don't stop. It feels so good…faster…harder…yes!" she screamed.

Angel lived to please her. He pulled himself all the way out, then slammed himself back in, guiding her hips down as he thrust upward. A feeling of abandonment came over him when he realized that he didn't always need to treat Buffy as if she were fragile. She was the Slayer and could handle it if he acted like less than a considerate lover sometimes. With one last thrust, he came, filling her with him.

It took them nearly a minute to return to reality. Buffy's legs wobbled when Angel placed her on her feet. "Are you okay?" he asked.

She nodded. "A little weak in the knees. Literally, but in a good way."

"We should get out of here and dry off. I was going to take you out for breakfast."

They stepped out of the shower, then dried each other off. Angel wrapped a towel around his waist and Buffy wore a robe when the returned to her bedroom to get dressed. Instead of reaching for her clothes, Buffy pushed Angel to the bed.

"Buffy, we're supposed to be getting dressed," he reminded her.

"In a little while. But first, it's my turn."

"Your turn to what?"

Buffy grinned evilly. "To do something different; something we haven't tried before."

"When did we turn into nymphomaniacs?" Angel joked.

"We're just making up for lost time. You said you'd make it up to me, and you are now. After being without you for a month, I can't help it if I want to be with you every chance I get. Now, lay down on the bed and don't argue with me," Buffy ordered.

********

"You look awfully happy," observed Cordelia when Buffy joined her and Willow for lunch that afternoon.

Buffy grinned. "That's because I am."

Willow widened her eyes. "Did you finally hear from Angel?"

"Better than that. He's back."

"When?" Cordelia asked.

"Friday night. But I didn't see him until Saturday afternoon. It was so great, seeing him again, you have no idea. And we spent the whole weekend together," Buffy said to them.

"In bed, no doubt," remarked the brunette.

She glared at her friend. "Cordy, my relationship with Angel is about more than just sex. We spent time together, we talked, we caught up."

"How long before you two ended up in bed together? Five minutes? Ten at most?"

Buffy couldn't take Cordelia's rude comments any longer. "We're not you and Xander, so stop it right now." She stood up and walked away.

Willow shot a dark glance at Cordelia before following her best friend to the quad. "Buffy? Do you want to talk about it? I won't be as crass as she was. I'll listen, I want you to tell me."

The two took a seat under a tree. "Saturday afternoon, I was at home studying and the doorbell rang. It was Angel. He'd gotten back on Friday afternoon, but he never told me. Let me tell you, I was pissed at him. I demanded to know why I hadn't heard from him in a month. Willow, I thought he moved on, that he found someone else in England."

"No way, Buffy, you're the only think that's important to him. You know that. Didn't you say that he waited for you? That alone should tell you something," Willow comforted.

"I couldn't help it. But Angel told me what happened. The Council found out from Giles about us and sent Angel to England to keep him away from me."

Willow stared in shock. "So it was Giles after all?"

Buffy nodded her head. "Yep. Angel wasn't allowed to call or even write to me. Then they came up with the ingenious idea to have him fall for this girl in England. Although I get the impression that she was more of a woman than a girl. So when Angel passed his Watcher's tests, she seduced him. He told her no, told the Council to leave us alone or he'd quit. They said they'd leave us alone and he came back."

"Did you talk to Giles about what he did?" Willow wanted to know.

"I was going to, but Angel said he took care of it. Ever since Saturday, I've been avoiding Giles. Yesterday I was supposed to train with him, but I skipped it and trained with Angel instead."

"Are you going to talk to him?"

She shrugged. "I don't know. He purposely separated me from the person I care about the most because he didn't approve. Forgiving him for that isn't something I think I can do. At least not right away."

"Let's get back to a happier topic. Did you and Angel…?" Willow let the question linger.

"Oh yeah. A lot. Once at my house on Saturday afternoon, twice at his apartment that night, on the floor Sunday morning, in the shower this morning and in my bed. We had to be careful the last time, though, because we broke my bed Saturday afternoon," Buffy admitted with a devilish grin.

"God, you two are turning into rabbits. You broke the bed?" she asked incredulously.

"On accident. Will, you wouldn't believe the things he does to me. I don't mean sex, I mean the way he makes me feel. Just when I think I can't – ugh, this is so embarrassing."

"What?"

The blonde blushed. "It is really embarrassing to admit, and I'd never tell anyone this but you. Not even my mother or Cordy. Every time he…gives me…an orgasm…I feel like I'm going to die. My entire body feels like it's going to explode. And then I'll be okay, but the next one is always so much better. Saturday at my house, he –"

Willow put up a hand to quiet her best friend. "I'm not ready for that frank of a talk yet. Because if you tell me what he did, I'm going to see him and all I'll be able to think about when I look at him is what he did to you. No thanks, I don't need those mental images."

Buffy laughed. "Fair enough."

"What are you two doing tonight?"

"Patrol. As usual."

********

"Are we attacking tonight, Sire?" questioned Nathan.

"Yes. But not to kill. When you hear my signal, you, Marcus, William and Kathryn keep the Slayer occupied. You are not to kill her, just keep her busy. And leave the young man with her alone."

Nathan raised his eyebrows. "But he is her weakness."

"I know. But I want to say hi first. Is any of this unclear to you?" He shook his head. "Go round up the others. We leave at nine."

Precisely at nine o'clock, the five vampires left the factory in search of Buffy and Angel. After searching through four cemeteries, they found the couple. Hidden in the woods, the five vampires waited for the signal.

"Giles called today," Buffy said. "He wanted to know why I didn't show up for training yesterday. I told him that I found a partner who can keep up with me."

"Don't you think that's a little harsh?"

Buffy shook her head. "It was my way of saying that I'm not letting him run my life. Giles can't control who I see, who I love. Maybe I should ask the Council if you can be my Watcher instead of Giles."

`Watcher? Angel is a Watcher?' the female vampire thought.

"I doubt they'd agree to that. Giles is your Watcher, nothing can change that unless the Council thinks it's in your best interests for him not to be. It wouldn't be fair to him to ask for a transfer," Angel reasoned.

"Who cares? Is what he did to us fair?"

"I didn't say it was. Buffy, he promised not to interfere and I believe him. Now let it go."

"But –"

Angel silenced her by pushing his lips against hers, plunging his tongue into her mouth. Unbeknownst to them, the leader gave her signal, and four vampires moved toward them. They growled, making their presence known.

"We've got company," Angel told her.

"They have the worst timing."

The four vampires descended upon Buffy, ignoring Angel. When he tried to help her fight them, Nathan pushed him away, forcing Angel on the ground ten feet away with the inertia of the push. Standing up again, he found his path blocked by the female vampire.

"Hello, my Angel," she greeted.

He stared in shock at the woman in front of him. "What the hell?"

She smiled. "Aren't you going to say hello to your mother?"

********

45

Angel shook his head in disbelief. None of it could possibly be true. His mother, a vampire? "Who the hell are you?" he demanded.

"Don't you recognize your own mother?"

"No, my mother died when I was six years old."

She tilted her head to one side. "True, I did die. But I rose again into eternity. I've spent more than twenty years looking for you, my Angel."

"Don't call me that."

"You are my Angel, from the moment I chose that as your name. Have you forgotten all the times I'd tuck you into bed and say, 'Good night, my little Angel'? And every time I asked you who you were, you'd say, 'I'm your Angel, Mommy.' I never forgot all those little moments. You were my precious little boy."

"I'm not your little boy." The vampire standing in front of him looked and sounded like the mother he remembered, but Angel still didn't believe it. Carolyn Reilly died when he was six. Or so Geoffrey told him.

She stepped closer to him, and Angel didn't back away. Reaching her hand up, she stroked his cheek. He was surprised by how cold the long-forgotten touch of his mother's hand was. "No, you aren't my little boy anymore. My baby boy's grown into a handsome man. The spitting image of your father, too. Well, before I killed him. You seem to take after him in more than just your good looks. Both of you have a penchant for under aged Slayers."

"Leave Buffy alone," he warned.

"She's taken my boy away from me. I don't like it when people steal what's mine."

"She never did anything to you."

Carolyn grinned. "But she did. Your girlfriend has been killing my minions. Not to mention, she stole you. That's not something I can just forgive."

"If you claim to be my mother, you'd let me be happy. She makes me happy."

Growling, she grabbed her son by the throat. "I *am* your mother, Angel. But I refuse to let my son take after his father. I'll see your Slayer dead before that happens."

He knocked her hand away. "She's never done anything to hurt you. If you remotely care about me, you'll leave this town and forget you ever found me."

"I'm your mother."

Angel disagreed. "No, my real mother died a long time ago. You're not her."

"Is that what Geoffrey told you? That I died?"

"He said you were killed by a demon."

"But he neglected to tell you that I came back. When I rose two days later, I looked for you. He'd taken you away already. I couldn't find you. For twenty-two years I searched for you. Then last night I found you, in a compromising position with the current Slayer, no less. My son the Watcher is sleeping with the Slayer. You've shamed me twice. I can't allow that."

"Go away."

She laughed as if he'd told the funniest joke she'd ever heard. "No. I came to Sunnydale to kill your Slayer and I'm not leaving until I do."

"Then you'll do it over my dead body," Angel said through gritted teeth.

Carolyn shrugged. "Not a problem. Now that I've found you, Angel, I'm not letting you go. When I kill your girlfriend, you'll join me in eternity. We'll rule together, mother and son, powerful and invincible. Or maybe I'll turn you first, then you can kill her. But she will pay dearly for taking you." With a pinch of his cheek, she left him. Clapping her hands, the two surviving vampires who had been fighting Buffy followed her.

Panting for air, Buffy ran over to a horrified Angel, who hadn't moved since Carolyn left his side. "Angel, are you okay? Did any of them hurt you?"

He shook his head. "Fine," he replied.

Buffy didn't believe him. "No, something's wrong. I can tell. Who was that?"

"You need to stay away from me, Buffy."

"Why?" she asked, bewildered. "What did I do?"

Angel pushed her out of his way. "Just go away. It's not safe for you to be around me." He started to leave.

Buffy chased after him. "Stop acting all cryptic-y. If I have to stay away from you, I want to know why. I at least deserve that much."

"You're not safe with me."

"Yes, I am. I only feel safe when I'm with you."

"No, I mean it. Go home."

She ran ahead of him, forcing him to stop. "You aren't going to pull that crap on me, Angel. Tell me the real reason."

"She'll kill you."

"Who's she?"

"My mother."

Buffy stared at him questioningly. "What are you talking about? She's dead."

He cast his eyes to the ground. "No she's not."

"That vampire talking to you was your mother? You told me she was dead."

"I thought she was. Geoffrey lied to me."

"Oh god, Angel. I'm so sorry. What can I do?"

"Leave me alone to deal with her."

"I'm not going to do that. I'm in this for the long haul, you're not getting rid of me that easily. I don't quit when things get rough. I fight back. We need to talk about this before you come up with more stupid ideas like me leaving you. Which isn't going to happen."

She clutched his hand as they walked back to his apartment. They constantly kept an eye out for Carolyn Reilly and her gang. The two didn't speak during the ten minute walk to his place. Every once in a while, Angel would glance over at her, amazed that she was there. 'I can't let anything happen to her. She's my life, and nobody's going to take that away from me.'

He embraced Buffy tightly when they closed the door behind them. "Do you really want me to stay away from you?" Buffy asked.

"I don't want to, but I have to. It's what's best for both of us."

"I can't stay away from you."

Angel looked her in the eye. "She's targeting you. My mother will kill you, then me. I can't put you in that kind of danger. I love you too much for that. This is what's best."

"Well, I'm not going anywhere; you're stuck with me. I'm in danger every day, I am used to it. But there_s no way I will let anything happen to you. That's why I don't want you to patrol with me anymore, Angel."

"Buffy, you need someone out there with you. You can't do it alone. If you won't stay away from me, then I'm not letting you get hurt because of it."

"Giles can go, but not you. She's going to come after you first, I just know she will. My weakness, remember? If you stay in after dark, she can't get you. Then she won't go after me."

"She can still get you, Buffy."

"Stop it right now. Don't argue with me. I'm not leaving you, and I'm not letting you get hurt because you're too stubborn to let me protect you."

"I don't want your protection, Buffy."

She smiled at him. "Too bad, you've got it."

They sat down on the couch. "I don't get it," Angel said.

"What?"

"Why they lied to me. My entire life, okay, most of it, I was told that my mother died at the hands of a demon. Now I come to find out that everyone I trust lied to me. Geoffrey, Giles, the Council, everyone. The only person who's ever been truthful with me is you."

"I wouldn't lie to you. But I think they did it to protect you. What would you have done if you'd known your mother was a vampire all that time?" she wanted to know.

He shrugged his shoulders. "I don't know. I guess I'll never know." Angel yawned.

"Tired?"

"A little. So much has happened, and my mind hasn't processed all of it yet. It's making me sleepy."

"Go to sleep, then," Buffy advised.

He looked at her with tear-filled brown eyes. "I didn't mean it. I want you to stay. Don't leave me, Buffy."

"Just rest your eyes for a bit. I'll be here when you wake up, I promise."

Angel nodded, then proceeded to rest his head on the armrest. Within minutes, he was sleeping like a baby. Buffy smiled down at him with sympathy. He'd had a hard life, growing up without a mother. Now finding out that she was a vampire might have broken him. After planting a soft kiss on his cheek, she reached for the phone.

"Hello?" Giles answered.

"It's me," Buffy told him.

"Buffy, where are you? At home?"

"No, Angel's. We got back from patrol a couple minutes ago. Guess who we ran into?"

He didn't have a clue. "Who?"

"Angel's mother, Carolyn Reilly. Care to explain why she's not dead like we thought she was?" she demanded to know.

"Good god. Is everything okay? Are you or Angel hurt?"

"No, we're fine. Why is she alive, Giles? Or better yet, why is she a vampire?"

"That's not a question you should be asking me, Buffy. Call Geoffrey Kensington, he can give you the answers."

"Is she the reason that it was dangerous for me and Angel to be together?"

Giles sighed. "Yes. We were only trying to protect the both of you."

"Do you have any idea how much Angel's hurting right now?"

"I'm sorry."

"You certainly have a lot to be sorry about lately, Giles. Lies hurt, and sometimes they hurt the ones you care about the most. Thanks for your help." Without saying goodbye, Buffy hung up.

She searched Angel's apartment for his address book. When she found it in one of his drawers, she dialed the number for Geoffrey Kensington in Los Angeles. He answered on the third ring.

"Is this Geoffrey?" Buffy asked.

"Yes. Who is this?"

"Buffy Summers. I'm Angel's girlfriend."

"Buffy, how nice to hear your voice. It has been a long time. What can I do for you?"

She glanced at Angel, who slept soundly on the couch. "There's a big problem here in Sunnydale that only you can help us with. Her name is Carolyn Reilly and she's a vampire."

"Carolyn is in Sunnydale? Does Angel know?" Buffy could tell that he was frantic.

"Yeah, she stopped him while we were on patrol to say hi. I think you need to come and talk to Angel, he's really upset."

"I can be there in two hours."

"The door will be open, in case it's really late. See you then."

********

46

It was twelve-thirty when Geoffrey arrived at Angel's apartment. He'd gotten a speeding ticket on the way there, but he still managed to make the trip in less than two hours. Buffy had told him that the door would be unlocked for him, although with the lateness of the hour, Geoffrey knocked lightly. When there was no answer after a minute, he let himself inside, hoping he wouldn't be interrupting anything important.

He found Buffy and Angel asleep on the couch. Smiling to himself, he thought about how striking a couple they made. Angel sat in an upright position with his head draped over the back of the couch while Buffy lay with her head on his lap. Deciding not to wake them, Geoffrey took a seat in the reclining chair nearby.

Five minutes after he'd arrived, Angel stirred. He was shocked to find Geoffrey in the living room watching them. "What are you doing here?" he asked.

"Buffy called me," Geoffrey answered. "She asked me to come and explain things to you. She said Carolyn's found you."

"Yeah, you could say that I'm more than a little confused and shocked about what happened tonight." "It's understandable. Seeing your mother after so long must have been quite a shock."

Angel narrowed his eyes. "Especially when I thought she died twenty-two years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry won't cut it, Geoffrey. I want, no I deserve an explanation."

"You certainly do."

"Then explain. Why did you lie to me for so long?"

"I did it to protect you. When your mother was turned, I became frightened. Not for me, but for you. Angel, you were the most important person in her life. And I knew that finding you would be her obsession. She'd find you and do Lord knows what to you when she did. I couldn't let that happen, you were like a son to me; you still are. So I took you to L.A.."

"That doesn't explain why you kept it from me," Angel stated.

"What would you have done? Looked for her? Tried to help her? Your mother became a demon. A killer. She may look and act like the mother you knew, but she isn't her. A vampire is a creature of pure evil. She must be stopped before she hurts someone close to you."

Angel took a tendril of Buffy's hair between his fingers and played with it. "I don't think I can do that."

"Do what?"

He looked Geoffrey dead in the eye. "Stop her."

"You must. Who knows what she'll do to you."

"I know. But I looked at her and all I saw was my mother. She said things that made me remember how much I loved her. That'll always be in the back of my mind. That at some point, she was my mother. The woman that gave birth to me. The one that tucked me in at night, the one I ran to when I had a bad dream, the one that sang me to sleep every night. And I don't think I'd be able to kill her knowing all that."

"Would you do it for Buffy?" Geoffrey asked. "If it came down to choosing between your mother the vampire and the young woman you love, would you be able to kill Carolyn?"

Angel shook his head. "Don't, Geoffrey."

"You may have to choose, Angel. It comes down to who you love more."

He gazed down at Buffy, still asleep in his lap. "I love her more than anything. I'd die for her. But I don't know if I could kill my own mother for her. Even if she is a vampire."

"You must remember that it isn't your mother."

"I know. She said she'd come after us, try to kill Buffy. I'll never let that happen."

Buffy groaned in her sleep. Angel gently lifted her into his arms and carried her to his bedroom to let her sleep peacefully. He returned to the living room shortly thereafter. "I didn't want us to wake her up," he explained.

"Angel, may I ask you a question?"

"Yeah."

"It's more of an observation, really. You and Buffy, you've become intimate, haven't you?"

Angel was taken aback. "How...?

"A young woman her age wouldn't be that comfortable falling asleep in the lap of a man she hasn't known physically."

"Is that some kind of problem for you?" he shot. "That Buffy and I have made love? Because there is nothing you can do about it. Giles and the Council have tried"

"Stop it. As long as you love her, I'm happy for you."

Angel raised an eyebrow. "You've changed your tune slightly since May."

"I feared that your relationship with Buffy would catch Carolyn's attention. That she would find out and try to hurt you."

"I understand that now. My mom being a vampire was the reason everybody wanted to keep us apart. While I appreciate your concern, just please stay out of my relationship with Buffy. I'm happier than I've ever been, and if you care about me, you'll let me stay that way."

Geoffrey nodded. "I don't want to break you two up. But I want you to be careful. Carolyn will use this to hurt you. Angel, you must not let her get the better of you," he advised.

"I won't. My one concern is keeping Buffy safe."

"You do that. If you love her as much as you say you do, I know you'll keep her safe."

********

47

Buffy woke up to the sensation of being shaken. She didn't open her eyes, she was still so tired. "Five more minutes, Mom. I promise not to oversleep."

Angel smiled, then bent down to kiss her cheek. "Wake up, Buffy. I have to take you home now."

"I'm sleeping."

He pulled the blankets off her body. "Come on, lazy bones. You can't be late for class."

"Hey!" she screeched. "It's cold in here. Come warm me up."

"Nuh-uh. No distractions. You have to go to school and I have research to do. Besides, Geoffrey's asleep in the spare room."

Buffy rubbed the sleep from her eyes. "What time is it? Is the sun even up yet?"

"Yes, the sun is up. It's six-thirty and I'm bringing you home."

She pouted. "Can I stay here? Pretty please? Your bed is so comfy."

As much as he wanted to give in to her, Angel had to say no. "Sorry, too much to do. Get a move on."

He left the room and went into the bathroom. Picking up a comb, he ran it through his hair. He and Geoffrey had stayed up the entire night talking. Angel understood why his mother's vampirism was kept a secret from him; he admitted that if he'd known, he probably would have searched for her. He also admitted that he couldn't hold what Geoffrey did against him.

"It's turned me into the person I am today. I'm happy, I'm in love, I have everything I've ever wanted. I might not be where I am if I'd known the truth about my mom," Angel had said.

While he still hated that the people closest to him didn't believe in him enough to tell him the truth, he knew why they did it. Geoffrey wanted him to have as normal a life as he could. A life separated from demons and darkness. Angel remembered Geoffrey's reaction ten years earlier when he told him that he wanted to be a Watcher.

He was so lost in reminiscing that Angel didn't notice Buffy enter the bathroom until he felt her arms moving around his waist. "Morning," she greeted, kissing his upper arm.

"Morning to you, too."

"What were you thinking about?" Buffy wanted to know.

"Nothing important."

Buffy rubbed her cheek against the cotton material of Angel's t-shirt. "I'm so glad you're back where you belong. Here with me."

"Where else would I be?"

She brought her hand to the back of his neck, pushing him downward for a kiss. Their arms wound around each other, and Angel became so caught up in the feeling of her lips on his that he picked her up and placed her on the counter of the bathroom. His fingers became tangled in her hair and Buffy wrapped her legs around his waist, drawing him even closer. After another minute, Angel broke away.

"Why'd you stop?" Buffy asked.

He closed his eyes. "Because I can't right now."

"Is it because Geoffrey's in the other room? We can be quiet."

"No, it's not that."

"If you don't have any condoms, I don't care about that, Angel. I did some research while you were gone. Typically, Slayers can't have children. In all the thousands of years that there have been Slayers, only one managed to have a child. Your mom. So the chances of me getting pregnant are nil."

Angel shook his head. "It's not you, Buffy, it's me. With all that's happened in the past twelve hours, sex is the last thing on my mind."

"Okay," she replied in a small voice.

"You don't believe me. If I could, I'd make love to you right here and right now. But I can't."

"I understand. The stuff with your mom is stressing you out. I thought maybe I could take your mind off of it for a little while."

He planted a soft kiss on her lips. "Thanks for caring, for being here for me through all this."

"I'll always be here for you."

********

Angel and Geoffrey entered the library of Sunnydale High at quarter after nine. They hadn't bothered to call Giles before stopping by, he might have tried to stop them. Just as they entered, Giles exited his office.

"Geoffrey, Angel, what are you doing here?" he asked.

"We're here for information," Angel told him. "On my mother. And don't try to play dumb, I know the truth."

Giles nodded solemnly. He'd been expecting Angel's visit since Buffy's call the previous night. "I know you know. Buffy phoned me last night. I'm sorry that you had to find out like this. The Council never wanted you to know."

"Geoffrey explained it all. How he found out, why he packed our belongings in the middle of the night and got us the hell out of San Francisco. How the Council agreed to go along with the story about a demon killing my mother."

"You want to read about her, don't you?"

Angel looked at him. "Yes. Everything. And don't hide anything because you don't think I can handle it. After last night, nothing would shock me."

"Alright. I figured you would be coming by, so I took the liberty of indexing all the Diaries that mention Carolyn. They're on the table."

Angel walked over to the table and took a seat. He picked up the first book, found the labeled part and began reading.

"How bad is it?" Geoffrey wanted to know after hand and Giles walked into his office.

"Bad. Very bad. More along the lines of horrifying, actually. Based on my research, three Slayers have been turned. Two were killed by their sires shortly after rising. Carolyn is the only one to thrive, probably because you killed her sire. She's extremely powerful, having killed two Slayers in the past twenty years. With her Slayer and vampiric strength, she's unstoppable."

"Does she have any patterns we should know about?" Geoffrey asked.

Giles grimaced. "Carolyn's committed some heinous crimes. Most of them around the beginning of August, mostly to children. Young children."

Geoffrey closed his eyes as if in pain. "The anniversary and Angel's birthday. She became obsessed with finding her son, didn't she?"

"Yes. One thing mentioned in the Diaries is that she always asked where Angel was, to every Slayer she encountered. There's no telling what she will do to him. Or to Buffy for that matter. I assume she knows about them?"

"As far as I know. Angel told me Carolyn has made threats on Buffy's life because of her closeness to him."

Giles took a sip of his tea, and offered some to the other Watcher. "We can't protect them from this any longer. Buffy must find a way to defeat Carolyn. Without hurting Angel in the process."

Outside the office, Angel read about his mother's vampiric activities. He discovered that she had killed two Slayers, three Watchers and showed obsessive behavior in regards to school-aged children. He nearly became sick when he read that on August 7, 1994, Carolyn took the lives of a busload of second graders while calling out his name.

`She's been trying to find me. Every year around my birthday she kills poor defenseless children because she wants me.' Angel got up and stalked into the office. "It's because of me that she always targets children, isn't it?" he demanded.

"I believe so," answered Giles. "Don't think this is your fault. It's not."

"How can it not be? Hundreds of children have died because of me. Maybe things would have been better if I'd never been born. At least then those children would be alive."

Geoffrey walked over to the man he raised as his son. "Don't you ever think that. You were your mother's only concern when she was alive."

"Think of all the people you've saved, Angel. Think about Buffy. She'd be dead if it weren't for you saving her from that vampire in May," Giles pointed out.

Angel shook his head. "I can't stop feeling like I'm the cause of all this. And now I'm putting Buffy's life in jeopardy because my mother knows I'm in love with her."

"We'll find a way to stop Carolyn," Geoffrey promised. "And when we do, you and that beautiful girl of yours can live happily ever after. You'll give her that ring, you'll get married and have a big family. And since I want to be a grandfather to your kids someday, I'm going to make certain that it happens."

Giles looked at them curiously, but said nothing. He assumed that Angel was planning to propose to Buffy. And it didn't bother him at all. He'd only been trying to keep Angel's existence in Sunnydale low-key, but with Carolyn already knowing everything, Giles no longer had a reason to keep Buffy and Angel apart.

********

48

"Are you sure you can handle it, Giles?" Buffy asked. "Because I'll stay here this weekend if you think something'll happen."

Giles nodded. "Everything will be fine while you are gone. I want you and Angel to have a good time. You two deserve this time away. Have fun at the reunion and don't worry about Sunnydale."

"I'm just afraid that Angel's mom will do something horrible while we're gone. What if she goes after you or the gang?"

"She won't. Carolyn doesn't know who we are. Not to mention that you haven't seen her since that first night."

"Doesn't matter, she's still out there. Every night, she sends her gang to fight me. Like a warning or something. I want you guys safe and sound. I've already called Willow, Cordy, Xander and Oz and told them to stay in at night. I want you to do the same."

"Someone has to patrol."

"That's why I said I'll stay here instead of going to L.A."

Giles put a hand on her shoulder. "You need a break, Buffy. For the past month, your life has consisted of school and patrol. You're worn out; I can tell. You won't even let Angel and I help you, you keep us locked up at night. It's been a month since Carolyn made her presence known and we haven't seen her since. The chances of her showing up this weekend are slim to none. Now, I'm ordering you to go out. Enjoy yourself at this reunion."

"Giles –"

"No `buts.' Go," Giles ordered.

********

Buffy and Angel arrived at their hotel room early Saturday afternoon. Once again, he spared no expense for their accommodations. And expensive room at the Beverly Hills Hotel where the reunion was being held. "Do you like it?" Angel wanted to know.

"It's even bigger than the room we stayed at in San Francisco. You don't need to spend so much money. I'd be happy staying at the Econo Lodge."

"Nothing but the best for you, Buffy."

She blushed. "You spoil me too much, Angel. A girl could get used to this."

"You'd better get used to it. Never again will you have to stay at some cheap motel. Not as long as I'm around," he told her.

Buffy wrapped her arms around him. "Guess I better keep you around then."

"Good idea." He kissed her passionately.

She moaned. "How much time do we have?"

"It starts at seven."

"That leaves four hours. Whatever will we do to pass the time?"

"I can think of a few things."

********

At seven-fifteen, Buffy stepped out of the bathroom, dressed and ready to go to the reunion. They'd wanted to be downstairs at seven, but they get held up, having spent an extra twenty minutes in bed.

"What do you think?" Buffy asked Angel's opinion.

Angel grinned at his love, standing before him in a dark red dress with black sequins over the chest in the design of a heart. It fell halfway to her knees, held up by thin straps. Her hair flowed to her shoulder blades and she wore a pair of black sandals. "As usual, you are breathtaking. I will be the envy of every guy down there."

"Yeah, well, once the girls get a load of you, there's going to be a lynch mob out to kill me."

"I won't let it happen. Ready to go?"

Buffy nodded. "Yep."

Stuffing the key into his pocket, Angel held the door open for Buffy. They walked hand-in-hand to the elevator. His hand trembled slightly when he pushed the button for the lobby. Buffy saw this and squeezed his other one.

"Nervous?" she asked.

"Is it that obvious?" he replied with a soft laugh.

"Don't worry, it'll be fine. And if you're having a crappy time, we can go right back upstairs and continue where we left off forty-five minutes ago."

The elevator doors opened and they stepped out. The lobby had a sign that read: WELCOME PORTER ACADEMY CLASS OF 1989. A chubby brunette sat at a table outside the ballroom. She smiled when Buffy and Angel approached.

"Hi! Welcome to the Porter Academy reunion. And you are?" the woman asked cheerfully.

Buffy stifled a giggle. `This is like that scene from Grosse Pointe Blank,' she thought.

"Angel Reilly."

The woman searched through the name tags. She picked one up and looked at it, then at Angel. "Good thing we put everyone's senior picture on here, nobody would recognize you."

"What a shame," he commented sarcastically.

"Well, here you go." She handed him the name tag and moved on to the person standing behind him.

"Let me see that." Buffy looked at the picture on the tag. This time she laughed out loud. "You weren't kidding when you said you were a geek."

He mock punched her. "Shut up, Buffy."

The two walked around for a minute, Angel looking for someone he recognized. They didn't have to wait very long before a tall, blonde-haired man came over to them.

"Is that you, Reilly?" he asked.

"Paul Szranski. How are you doing?" The two men hugged.

"Pretty damn good. Yourself?"

Angel shrugged. "Can't complain. You haven't changed a bit."

"Wish I could say the same about you. I wouldn't have even recognized you if I didn't see your picture on that thing. What did you do, hire a personal trainer with your millions?" Paul joked.

"Funny, Paul. I decided to go the physical fitness route in college. Spent a lot of time working out. What are you doing now?"

"I'm an investment banker in Austin, Texas."

"Married?"

Paul shook his head. "Nah. Haven't found the right girl yet. How `bout you?"

"I work for a London-based corporation in its Sunnydale branch." It wasn't a lie, but it wasn't exactly the truth either.

"Got yourself a pretty lady, I see."

"Paul, this is my girlfriend Buffy Summers. Buffy, this is Paul Szranski. We were best friends in high school."

Buffy extended her hand. "Nice to meet you."

"Likewise. So, how'd you two meet?" Paul wanted to know.

"Angel tutored me in History."

He raised his eyebrows. "You must have a lot of free time on your hands, Reilly."

"I do."

"What do you do, Buffy?"

"I'm a student."

"Working on your Masters?"

She shook her head. "No, I'm a freshman at UC Sunnydale."

"How old are you?"

"Eighteen," answered Buffy.

Paul whistled. "Shit, man, you like `em young, don't you?"

"She's mature for her age," Angel informed him.

"I'll bet," he said. "It was nice seeing you. I'm gonna say hi to some people." Paul walked past them.

"That was interesting," Buffy commented.

They socialized for another hour with Angel's former friends. Everyone they spoke to made some comment about Buffy's age. It didn't bother Buffy, she didn't know these people. But it grated on Angel's nerves. Who were they to make remarks about them? He hadn't seen them in ten years, and Buffy's age was none of their concern.

"I told you they'd all be looking at you," Buffy said later. "You're a total hottie now."

"Wonderful."

"See? You finally showed them that you've changed."

A woman tapped on the microphone. "I'd like to introduce the first song of the night. Most of you may remember that it was our Prom theme. I want to see every couple out there dancing to it like we did at Prom."

Buffy grabbed Angel's hand. "Come on, let's dance."

"I don't know…"

"Please? It's your chance to dance at the Prom you never went to."

He relented. They walked to the dance floor, and he scooped Buffy into his embrace.

All this love's for you and me.\\

Two of Angel's former classmates watched the couple on the dance floor.

"Do you think she even knows who New Kids on the Block are?" Sharon asked.

"She probably thinks they're the Backstreet Boys of the eighties," the other woman, Melanie, replied.

"He was such a loser in high school, and now look at him. Angel's dating a child. Isn't it a felony to date someone that young? I bet she's only after his money."

Melanie shook her head. "Sex. I'm betting that he's great in bed. Look at that body. Almost makes me wish I hadn't been so mean to him back then."

All this love's for you and me. \\

Angel saw Sharon and Melanie laughing at him and Buffy. `Bitches. They were snobs ten years ago and they haven't changed.' He refused to be their joke like he had been in high school.

"Let's go," he told Buffy.

"Why? It's only ten o'clock."

"I can't take it anymore."

Without a goodbye to anyone, Buffy and Angel went back up to their room. In all the months she'd known him, she'd never seen him so angry. "It's okay. Don't let them get to you," she reassured him.

Angel sat down on the couch and Buffy sat next to him, placing her hand on his leg. He looked at her with passion in his eyes, then forced her back to the cushions.

"Angel, what…?"

He didn't let her finish the sentence. He climbed on top of her and forced his lips on hers. It took her by surprise, but she didn't try to stop him. When Buffy moved to put her arms around his neck, Angel's right hand captured her wrists and held them on the couch above her head. Even with her Slayer strength, she couldn't break his vise-like grip.

His left hand pushed her dress to her waist. Buffy couldn't believe it. The hands that usually touched her with such love and gentleness were savagely tearing her panties from her body. She knew what was coming next, and she couldn't stop it. Angel was like a man possessed. Tears came to her eyes as she called his name to stop.

********

49

"Stop!" Buffy shouted. "Angel, please!"

Her pleas didn't register in Angel's mind; he heard nothing except the taunting of his fellow classmates.

"Where'd you meet her, at a McDonald's Playroom?"

He'd show them that he wasn't the same kid he was in high school. He was a successful man, richer than any of them could ever hope to be, and he could have any woman he wanted. Including the girl of his dreams.

Buffy turned her head to the left, forcing his lips from hers. She wanted him to stop so badly, he was scaring her. It was a new side to him, a violent, inconsiderate side that she didn't like. She wanted her Angel back, the tender, mild-mannered man she fell in love with.

When she turned her head, Angel was outraged. Who was she to turn away from him when he wanted her? With his free hand, he grabbed her chin and held her head so she couldn't move. He glared into her eyes, not seeing Buffy. No, he saw all the girls in high school who'd laughed at him and called him names. He'd show them. Angel pressed his lips hard against hers, forcing her mouth open with his tongue. He thrust it inside, then released his hold on her head, moving his hand to unzip his pants. She didn't want him, not like this. Buffy didn't know what was possessing Angel to force himself upon her. She couldn't think of anything that she'd done to upset him. Making love to him was something she never needed to be forced to do. She wanted to find a way to stop him before he went too far. His tongue was still inside her mouth. Buffy bit down. Hard. Angel removed his lips from her. It brought him back to reality. For the first time since he'd entered the room, he saw Buffy.

Instead of the bright, smiling face he'd grown to love, he found her crying, her lips bruised and swollen. Then he saw his right hand holding her wrists to the couch. Immediately, he let go, and Buffy hugged her arms to her chest, tears falling from the corners of her eyes. It wasn't until he noticed that her dress had been pushed up to her waist and her underwear pushed down to her ankles that he realized what he'd almost done. He'd nearly raped the woman he loved.

"Oh god," he said, standing up.

Buffy sat up, trembling because of her sobs. She glanced up at him, black streaks of mascara running down her cheeks. "Why?" she choked out.

Angel shook his head. He hated knowing that he made her cry. "I don't know what came over me. Buffy, I'm so sorry," he apologized.

She cried even harder. Through her tears, she fixed her clothes. Being so exposed to him made her feel even worse. "You hurt me."

"I know. But I never meant to. Hurting you is the last thing I ever wanted to do. That wasn't me. I would never force you like that." He sighed. "There's nothing I can do to make it up to you. Nothing I can say or do can change what I did."

Buffy watched as he walked to the door. "Where are you going?"

"I need to clear my head. I shouldn't be around you after what I just did."

"You don't have to go."

"Yes, I do. We both need to be by ourselves for a little while." When he left the room, he left Buffy alone, crying on the couch.

********

In the lobby, he ran into one of his former classmates, Patrick Watson, the captain of the Porter Academy basketball team ten years ago. Through all four years of high school, he'd made Angel the butt of all his practical jokes.

"Hey, Angel," he said.

"Hi," Angel replied with little enthusiasm.

"I thought you'd left the party. Where's your girlfriend?"

"Upstairs."

Patrick laughed. "Past her bedtime?"

Angel narrowed his eyes. "Go to hell."

"Ooh, such harsh words. Looks like someone didn't get any tonight."

That did it. Angel balled his fist and socked Patrick on the left cheek. He stumbled back, holding his hand to his bruised cheek. "Don't ever talk about my girlfriend like that again," Angel told him. "And for the record, you've had that coming for fourteen years."

Angel walked out to the street, finding a café several blocks down. He sat there for three hours, thinking about the events of that night. After what he'd done, he doubted if things between him and Buffy could go back to the way they were.

`I've royally screwed up. How can I even face her after that? What if she hates me? What if she breaks up with me? I don't think I could take that. Buffy's my life, what'll I do without her?'

At one in the morning, Angel returned to the hotel room, half-expecting to find Buffy still on the couch crying. But she wasn't there. He opened the door to the bedroom and she lay under the covers on the left-hand side of the bed. Her side. His side remained empty and untouched. It was almost as if it were Buffy's way of inviting him into bed with her.

He stood next to the bed, facing her. She lay sound asleep, her face free of makeup, her blonde hair rested on the pillow, her body showing no signs of his attack on her. Angel brushed a few stray hairs from her cheek, then bent down to kiss her gently.

"I love you," he whispered in her ear before retiring to the couch.

********

She was still alone when she woke up the next morning. Looking nervously around, she didn't find Angel anywhere in the bedroom. `Maybe he didn't come back. What if he's too ashamed to come near me again?' Leaving the bedroom, Buffy found him sitting on the couch, still wearing the suit from last night. He stared at the wall, not even turning when Buffy entered the room. "Angel?" she asked anxiously. He didn't answer her, so she continued on. "You never came to bed last night."

"I couldn't."

"Where'd you go?"

"Out. For a walk, I needed to think. When I came back, you were already asleep, so I slept out here," he answered.

She took a seat next to him. "Why?"

"How can you even ask that?" Angel shouted. She flinched at the harshness of his words. "I'm sorry, but you know why. Because of what I did to you. I've never felt so ashamed in my life. I couldn't share a bed with you, knowing what I did. I didn't deserve to."

"Shouldn't that be up to me?" Buffy questioned softly.

"Buffy, I'll understand if you never want to see me again when we get back to Sunnydale."

She touched his cheek. "Don't think that. Of course I want to see you. We all do things we regret, we all make mistakes."

"I forced myself on you."

"That wasn't you, I know. Angel, you'd never do something like that purposely. Something took over you."

"I can't put the blame on someone or something else. You have to know that it wasn't you I saw when I did that. It was everyone who made my life hell in high school. I thought I was getting back at them, but I ended up taking it out on you instead." He closed his eyes, fighting back tears. "You hate me, don't you?"

"No, I don't. I could never hate you. But if you ever try that again, I'll make Lorena Bobbitt look like an amateur," she threatened with a small smile. Angel wiped away the tears that were stinging his eyes. "I don't deserve your forgiveness. Nothing I can do will make it up to you."

"Why don't you kiss me and we'll work from there."

********

"Geoffrey, I never thought I was capable of that," Angel said that evening. "We all have a dark side. Some of us hide it better than others." Angel took a sip of his decaf. "I don't know what came over me, though. I'd never consciously do that to Buffy. Or to any woman for that matter. I never thought of myself as a rapist."

"You're not."

"I feel like it. How can she forgive me for that?"

"Because she loves you and she knows it wasn't you doing that to her. Angel, you were under a great deal of stress Saturday night. If the reunion went as badly as you said, I can somewhat understand why it happened. Your world was spinning out of control and you gained control through force. I may not condone it, but that's what seems to have happened."

Angel snorted, disgusted. "Yeah, forcing the woman I love to have sex with me. What a way to gain control. It's a cop-out. There's no explanation for what I did."

"Buffy understands, doesn't she?" Geoffrey asked.

He shook his head. "She says she does. But I don't know why she let me touch her, make love to her after that."

"The girl trusts you."

"Why? Rapists are the lowest form of human life."

"That they are. But, Angel, you're not one. You'll never be like your father."

Angel looked at Geoffrey with shock and dismay. "What?"

Geoffrey took a deep breath. "There's something else I've kept from you. Something I never wanted you to know."

"What?"

"Carolyn didn't have a one-night stand with your father. He raped her."

********

50

Angel nearly choked on his coffee. "What did you say?"

"You heard what I said. Your father forced your mother to have sex with him when she was fourteen. It was her first time and she got pregnant."

"So, not only was I a mistake, but I'm a child of rape?"

"I'm sorry to tell you like this, but you needed to know. Now you can see that what happened with Buffy pales in comparison to what happened to your mother. You are not like your father," Geoffrey said.

Angel shook his head. It was all so unbelievable. "I should know by now that when you say you've got something important to tell me, I'm not going to like it. How much more have you been keeping from me, Geoffrey? What else should I know about my life?"

"Aside from your mother's vampirism, the truth about your conception is the only thing I've kept from you."

"I guess I really am like him."

"No, you're not. Your father, he was infatuated with your mother. Based on what I know about him, thanks to your grandfather, he was young and trapped in an unhappy marriage. Your grandfather had recently hired him and he immediately took a liking to your mother. She was never attracted to him like he was to her, and she rebuffed him every time he made an advance toward her.

"It happened two months after she was called. Carolyn didn't react badly to being the Slayer like I told you. She embraced it, the responsibility of it all. One night, while she was on patrol, he found her. I don't know the exact specifics of it, Carolyn never liked to talk about it. All I know is that she came home crying, saying that he hurt her. Two and a half months later, she found out she was pregnant with you.

"She was forced to tell her father what happened, and that she was going to have a baby. They were very close, Carolyn and your grandfather. When she told him, he didn't doubt what she said, even though her own mother did. Your father was fired the next day. We never saw nor heard from him again."

Angel shut his eyes. "She killed him."

"I beg your pardon?"

"My mother said she killed him," he told Geoffrey.

"I can't say I'm shocked or upset by it. He deserved everything he got for doing that to Carolyn. It shouldn't have happened." Geoffrey noticed the expression of sadness on Angel's face and realized that he said the wrong thing. "That's not how I meant it. No woman should be subjected to that."

Angel ran his hand through his hair. "Why—why didn't she have an abortion?" He had a hard time asking why his mother didn't end his life before he was even born.

"You know history, how abortions were regarded; Roe vs. Wade didn't occur until several years later. Abortion was still illegal in early 1971. I'd mentioned putting you up for adoption, but she refused. Carolyn couldn't part from you, she loved you before she ever saw you. Despite how you were conceived, Angel, she understood that you were a part of her."

"Why didn't you tell me before?"

"Because no child, no matter what age, should be told that they were born out of a horrific event such as rape."

"But you decided to tell me because I've turned into a sick bastard like my father."

"Angel, you stop that right now. You're not like him."

"Yes, I am. I swore to myself that I'd never turn out like him, I'd never abandon a girl if I got her pregnant. That's why I waited until I met Buffy. And I thought I was keeping my promise. Now it turns out that I have become him. A pervert, a rapist."

"There's a big difference there. He forced himself on your mother because he thought he was owed it; he took something from her she could never get back. You didn't do that; the girl you love willingly gave herself to you. Buffy has forgiven you for your attack, Carolyn could never do that. Not to mention the most important difference between you and your father."

"What's that?" Angel wanted to know.

Geoffrey smiled. "You stopped. You realized what you were doing was wrong, your father didn't. He took what he wanted without regard to what your mother wanted."

"You don't understand. I had Buffy pinned to the couch and I was this close to actually doing it. I never heard her telling me to stop, even though I know she did."

"But you didn't do it. You apologized, you took responsibility for what you did. It takes a big man to do that." Geoffrey looked at the clock. "Look, it's late and it's fairly obvious you didn't get much sleep last night. Why don't you go to bed?"

Angel nodded. "Yeah, I am pretty tired. Thank you, Geoffrey. For being honest with me. I know I don't deserve it."

"Yes, you do. See you in the morning."

********

********

51

Buffy was worried. Something was amiss with Angel, she could tell. Ever since they returned from Los Angeles almost two weeks earlier, Angel had been quiet and withdrawn, spending most of his free time reading or talking to Geoffrey. Every time she asked what was wrong, he would only shrug and say that everything was fine. She wasn't convinced he had told her the truth.

She met up with Oz after their American History class. "Oz, can I talk to you?"

He looked at her questionably. "Sure."

They moved out of the way of passing students. "I need your help. Well, more or less your point of view."

"Can't ask Angel?"

Buffy shook her head. "It's sort of about him."

"Are you two fighting?"

"I don't think so. He's just really quiet lately, won't talk to me the way he used to. It's almost as if he's distancing himself from me. Pushing me away."

"How long has this been going on?" asked Oz.

"Since we got back from his reunion. What does it mean?"

"I really couldn't tell you, Buffy. Did something happen between you two that might have made him close himself off?"

She paused for a moment. "Yeah, but I thought we worked it out."

"What happened?" "It's personal. I don't know how to get through to him, let him know that I'm here for him if he needs me."

"Have you told him this?" Buffy sighed. "Of course I have. I love Angel, Oz, I want to share everything with him. But that can't happen until he tells me what's wrong."

"Maybe he just needs some time. Angel might need some time to himself to work things out."

"He's had two weeks. What could possibly be so wrong that he can't tell me? Can't touch me, kiss me or even look me in the eye?"

"He won't even touch you?"

She shook her head. "Not even holding my hand. It's like he's afraid to be in the same room with me. There's this awkwardness hanging over him and I don't understand it. What does it mean when he won't love me the way he usually does?"

"Buffy, I can't help you there. If Angel won't touch you, which if I understand correctly means he won't sleep with you, he has some kind of issue with it. Maybe he's afraid to."

"I forgave him," she muttered.

"What?"

"Nothing. Thanks, Oz."

"Anytime." He patted her shoulder and walked away.

Buffy walked to the Student Union to meet Willow for lunch. She found her sitting with Riley. Smiling, she placed her books on the table. "Hey, guys," she greeted.

"Hi, Buffy. How come you're late?" Willow wanted to know.

"Had to ask Oz something. Hi, Riley." He grinned at her. Ever since she shot him down, they'd become friends. Riley still held hope that one day Buffy would see him the way he saw her.

"Buffy, hi. I was just telling Willow about the party tonight."

"Party?"

"Yeah, at the frat house. It's kind of like an anti-Halloween party. No costumes, just come as you are. Not naked, though."

"Sounds like fun."

"Will I see you there?" Riley asked, hoping she'd show.

Buffy bit her lip. "I'm not sure. My boyfriend and I are going through this difficult phase right now. I don't know if he'll want to go."

"You can always come alone. I can be your unofficial date," he offered with a glint in his eyes.

"Thanks. We'll see."

He nodded and stood up. "Okay. I'm off to grade some papers. Hope I see you tonight."

Waiting until Riley was several feet away from their table, Willow leaned toward Buffy. "What was that about?"

"What?" Buffy asked with a raised eyebrow.

"What you told Riley about having troubles with Angel. I know you're not interested, but you didn't have to lie to him. He was just being friendly."

"I wasn't lying to him, Will. Angel and I are having problems."

"What kind of problems?"

She shook her head. "He's pushing me away. Ever since we got back from L.A.."

"But why? You two are so close, so perfect for each other."

"If I tell you something, do you promise not to say anything? It's really personal."

Willow nodded. "I won't tell a soul. I promise. Did something happen between you two? Did you have a fight?"

"No, not really. The reunion was hard on him. Seeing all the people who made his life so difficult really hurt Angel. I think they might have said some stuff to upset him because…"

"Because what?"

Buffy took a deep breath before whispering what happened. "He tried to force himself on me. He held me to the couch and almost raped me."

Willow's eyes widened in shock. `Angel did that? He never seemed like the type of guy to do something so horrible, so violent. He adores Buffy.' "Oh my god. He didn't though, did he?"

"No, he stopped after he realized what he was doing. He felt so bad about it, which I understand. But he's been so distanced from me since we got back."

"Maybe he's afraid," suggested Willow.

"Of what? I know it wasn't him consciously doing it. God, he wouldn't even hold my hand or kiss me when we got back. And it was nearly two weeks ago."

"You two haven't…" She let the sentence trail off.

"Not since the next morning. I wanted to show him that I didn't blame him or hate him. But nothing since then. Is it me, Will? Does he hate me?" Buffy sounded like a frightened little girl.

"I don't think it's possible for Angel to hate you. He's so in love with you, and I doubt he's going to throw that away. He made a mistake, you forgave him, you slept with him. Angel might be overwhelmed by it all."

"You're probably right. You don't think it's me?"

"Not at all. Talk to him. Skip the party and talk things out with Angel."

********

Geoffrey waited for Angel by the door when he walked in. "Buffy called while you were out."

"Okay," Angel replied. The older Watcher followed him into the bedroom. "You haven't returned her calls in three days."

"I know. It's hard to be around her."

Geoffrey slapped Angel. "Dammit, if you love the girl, call her. Let her know you still care. And I know you still do, I see you staring at her picture and drawing portraits of her."

"You've noticed?"

"It's kind of hard not to see you brooding away most of the day. Why are you acting like this? I hope it's not because of the incident in L.A.. She seems to have moved past it."

"That's not it."

"Then what is it?"

Angel shrugged. "Shame. Fear. Humiliation. I'm not the same person I was before."

"Yes, you are. Now, get out of this apartment and go to her house. Talk to her. Explain why you've been acting like a prick for two weeks."

********

He knocked on the front door, not expecting her to be home. At ten-fifteen, she would probably still be out on patrol. After a minute of waiting, Angel turned to leave, but the door opened when he reached the bottom step.

"Angel?" Buffy said.

He turned around, looking toward the door. She stood in the doorway wearing a t-shirt and flannel pants. "Hi, Buffy," he said with a shy smile.

"You got my message."

"Yeah."

She stepped outside, sitting down on the top step. "Why have you been avoiding me?"

"I'm sorry. Stuff has been going on. I needed to be by myself," he explained lamely.

"What kind of stuff?"

"Private stuff."

"So private you couldn't tell me about it?" accused Buffy.

"I'm sorry."

She stared at him. "You said that already. Angel, how can we have an open and honest relationship if you keep hiding things from me?"

"I love you, Buffy, and I'm sorry for what I did."

"I know you are. And I forgave you for it. You don't need to be sorry anymore."

"But my whole life has been a lie. I'm not who I thought I was."

Buffy was confused. "What are you talking about?"

Angel explained what he'd learned from Geoffrey about his father. Buffy listened intently to his story, holding his hand all the while. She knew why he'd been avoiding her – he was ashamed of how he came into the world.

"Everything's okay, Angel. I'm here for you," she told him.

"I spent most of my life trying not to be like my father. Now look at me. I am him."

"No, you're not. You could never be like him."

"I almost did the very same thing to you," Angel said softly.

She rested her cheek against his arm. "*Almost,* Angel. But you never followed through with it. You're not your father."

"But—" Buffy silenced him with a kiss. Angel was unsure, uneasy at first, but gave in to the pleasant feeling he got from having her lips on his.

"I don't care who you are, who your parents are or how you came into this world. I still love you," Buffy said after breaking their kiss. She took his hand and led him inside her house.

Carolyn stepped out of the shadows. She'd heard their entire conversation, having followed her son from his apartment. `The Slayer has turned my sweet little boy into a monster like his father. I'll show her what happens to people who mess with my family,' she said to herself. `By Thanksgiving, she'll be dead and my Angel will be by my side.'

*****

52

Carolyn planned for two weeks as to how to kill Buffy. In her eyes, it had to be a demise worthy of her crime. And making Angel love her was as horrible as murder to the vampire. She'd see to it Buffy Summers paid dearly for taking her son away.

Nathan came into the room. "Excuse me, Sire, but may I ask a question?"

"What is it?"

"H—how are you going to kill the Slayer?"

"Slowly. And painfully.

He shook his head. "Like, what method?"

Carolyn glared at her childe. "Why should you care?"

"In case something goes wrong, maybe I can help you."

"We'll see. But nothing will go wrong with my plan. It's ingenious. I find the Slayer, bring her here and torture her. She must be taught a lesson, a serious one. I want to see the fear in her eyes. I want to hear her beg for her life. Then, I'll find her boyfriend and force him to watch as I drain the life out of her."

Nathan swallowed nervously. It was extreme, even by his Sire's standards. "You've killed the other two Slayers quickly. Why the change?"

His constant stream of questions were making her angry. "Because this Slayer is hurting me personally. She took something more precious from me than any of my minions."

"What's that?"

She checked the resistance of the chains on the wall. "My son."

********

Buffy hunched over the toilet, holding her hair behind her head. It was horrible, she'd never felt so sick in her life. For the past twenty minutes she had been kneeling on the bathroom floor.

Mrs. Summers stood in the hallway, listening to her daughter throw up. "Honey, are you okay?"

She sighed. "Yeah, Mom, I feel terrific. It's been about a year since I threw up last and I thought I'd rehash some memories."

"Don't get snippy with me. I'm only concerned."

"I know, but I feel like death warmed over. Ugh, I hate this feeling."

"Is it some kind of bug going around?" Mrs. Summers asked.

Buffy shrugged. "I'm not sure. I think it was that tuna sandwich I had at school yesterday. It didn't taste right." She bent down to throw up again.

"Are you sure that's what it was? Bad tuna?"

"Pretty sure."

"Well, I'm going to run to the store to pick you up some ginger ale. And don't argue with me. You may hate the taste, but it will settle your stomach."

"Fine," Buffy said hoarsely.

After grabbing her purse, Mrs. Summers walked downstairs to the front door. Upon opening it, she found Angel standing there, his right arm poised to knock. She gasped. "Angel. I wasn't expecting to find you here."

He smiled apologetically. "Hope I didn't frighten you, Joyce."

"Not really. Come on in, I'm on my way to the store. Buffy's not feeling too good," she explained.

"What's wrong?"

"She says it's food poisoning. I have to pick her up some ginger ale."

"I thought she hated the stuff."

Mrs. Summers laughed softly. "She sure does, but it'll soothe her stomach."

"I'll make her a cup of tea while you're gone."

"Thank you, Angel. Be careful, Buffy's crabby when she's sick."

"I think I can handle it."

He made his way into the kitchen and poured a mug of water, heating it for a minute and a half. Rummaging through the cupboards, Angel found some herbal tea bags. Preparing the steaming beverage, he went upstairs, following the sound of his girlfriend's heaving.

"You don't sound so good," he observed, making his presence known.

She turned to look at him. "Angel. How come you're here?"

"I came to see if you wanted to go out for lunch, but I guess I'm staying here to keep you company."

Buffy stood up, her stomach finally feeling a little better. It came on all of a sudden, and left just as quickly. "You don't have to. I think it's going away."

Angel handed her the tea. "Drink this."

She made a face. "Do I have to?"

"For me?"

"Alright." She took a few sips, first blowing on it as not to burn her mouth. "How can Giles drink this stuff all the time? It's vile."

Angel chuckled. "It's an acquired taste." They went into her bedroom, him holding her about the waist. He fluffed her pillows, then helped her crawl into bed, covering her up with her blankets.

"What do you want to watch on TV?" he wanted to know.

"Whatever."

"Any movie you want to watch? I'll go get it for you."

"I'm not helpless, Angel. I can get a movie by myself."

He shook his head. "No way. One wrong move and you're back in that bathroom again. I won't let that happen. Now pick a movie."

Buffy hated being treated like an invalid, but thought that it was sweet of Angel to wait on her. "Pick whatever you want. Doesn't matter to me."

In the entertainment center in the living room, he found several movies he wouldn't mind seeing, and brought them upstairs for Buffy's inspection. "Which one do you prefer?" he asked.

She looked over his choices. Titanic, You've Got Mail, Picture Perfect, and Sliding Doors. All good movies. It was a difficult decision, but after thinking about it for a minute, she made a decision.

"Sliding Doors, definitely. I need romance."

Angel pretended to be offended. "I'm not romantic enough for you?"

"You're perfect; just romantic enough. I mean movie-wise I needed romance. Have you ever seen Sliding Doors?"

"No, I can't say that I have."

"Well, you are in for a treat. It's such a good movie."

He took the tape out of her hand and put it in the VCR. After he pressed PLAY, Angel carefully sat next to her on the bed.

"You know, I never did say thank you," Buffy said to him.

For what?" he asked, stroking her long blonde hair.

"My new bed. It's very comfy. If I didn't think I'd throw up all over you, I'd ask you to make love to me in it."

Angel laughed. "And have your mother walk in on us? I think we can wait."

********

He spent the rest of the day with Buffy, and by dinnertime, she felt almost one hundred percent better. So much so that she ran her bare foot up and down his leg, lifting his pants in the process. Angel knew it wasn't appropriate for them to be playing footsy under the table, but he couldn't stop her from doing it without drawing Mrs. Summers' attention.

"Are you doing anything for Thanksgiving, Angel?" Buffy's mother wanted to know.

"Nothing written in stone. Geoffrey and I are probably going to make a small dinner or go out," he answered.

"I'm cooking dinner for Buffy and I, and I can't see the point in making a big turkey dinner for just two people. Would you and Geoffrey care to join us?"

Angel smiled. "We'd love to. Thank you."

"Great. I've been looking forward to meeting your father."

"He's not my real father," Angel corrected.

"He raised you, Angel. That makes him your father. And you two are already a part of our family."

They ate for another half-hour. Buffy picked at her food. Her mother's meat loaf wasn't her favorite meal, so she only ate her mashed potatoes. Mrs. Summers and Angel, on the other hand, devoured it. At seven-thirty, Buffy stood up.

"I have to patrol," she announced.

"No, you don't," Angel disagreed.

"Yes. You know the drill, you're a Watcher. Vampires, Slayer, dead vampires."

He shook his head. "No, Buffy. You're still weak."

"I feel much better. You can't stop me. Sacred duty, etc."

"Fine. If I can't stop you, then I'm going with you."

She groaned in annoyance. "Angel…"

"You can't stop me any more than I can stop you. Either I go with you or you don't go at all."

Buffy relented and allowed Angel to accompany her. Grabbing a light jacket, the two of them left the Summers' house. They walked quickly through the neighborhood, starting their patrol in Restfield Cemetery. No sooner had they passed through the gates when a group of eight vampires surrounded them.

"Guess it's a good thing I insisted on coming," Angel said.

"Eight vamps are no problem. Five minutes and they're dust," guaranteed Buffy. "Take out as many as you can. And don't get hurt."

"Same goes for you."

Buffy prepared her stake as five of the vampires advanced on her. The first one to reach her growled loudly, and Buffy shoved him into another of the five, using the distraction to take out a large, clumsy vampire who looked to be about fifty. A middle-aged female ran toward her, and ended up running right into her stake. A second later she was dust.

`This is too easy. They hardly put up a fight.' With very little effort, she dusted the remaining three. Wiping the dust from her clothes, Buffy turned to help Angel with the three vampires he was fighting. Instead, she found herself looking into the brown eyes of a woman she knew only from a picture in Angel's living room.

"Carolyn," Buffy whispered.

"You must be Buffy. How nice to finally meet you."

"Cut the small talk. What do you want?"

Carolyn smiled. "So pretty. No wonder my son's so taken with you. But a question still haunts me."

"What question is that?"

"Will he still remain faithful to you after I kill you?"

"What makes you think you'll succeed where so many others have failed?"

She laughed spitefully. "I'm stronger than any vampire you've ever faced. Stay away from my boy." Using all her strength, Carolyn threw Buffy against the mausoleum a few feet away. A nail sticking out of the structure cut Buffy's cheek as she fell to the ground like a rag doll. "He's mine."

Angel dusted his last vampire in time to see his mother throw Buffy against the Allcott mausoleum. Everything seemed to move in slow motion as he ran over to the fallen Slayer. Upon reaching her side, he saw the blood-stained grass from her cut, then looked at Carolyn with anger in his eyes. "Why?"

She grinned. "I told you I'd kill her."

"She's not dead. She's still breathing."

"Not for long, I'm sure. See you soon, my Angel." She walked away.

Afraid to move Buffy for fear of a neck injury, Angel took out the cell phone Buffy insisted he purchase and dialed 911.

********

53

Angel knelt next to her limp body, grasping her hand in his. He listened carefully to the sound of her breathing. It was shallow and labored. She had been unconscious for fifteen minutes and Angel was afraid of how much damage she suffered.

The ambulance pulled up to the cemetery gates, and two attendants stepped out of the back, pushing a stretcher toward Buffy and Angel. "Thank God you're here," Angel said. "She won't wake up."

"Have you tried to move her at all?" one of the attendants asked. He wore a name tag that read Mark.

He shook his head. "No, I was afraid I'd cause more damage."

"That was very smart. You did the right thing."

Carefully, the two men slid a backboard underneath the unconscious Slayer. The other attendant, named Jason, placed a neck brace around Buffy to keep her head from moving. They hoisted her on the stretcher and wheeled her to the ambulance. Angel followed them.

"Are you family?" Mark wanted to know.

"No, I'm her boyfriend. Is she gonna be okay?"

"It's too early to tell. We won't know anything until we get to the hospital."

Angel looked down. He couldn't leave Buffy, not after what his mother did to her. "May I ride in the ambulance? I can't leave her alone."

Jason nodded. "Sure. We need you to fill out some paper work when we get to the hospital and you can give us some background information on the way there."

Angel sat to the side, watching as Mark and Jason checked Buffy's stats. Based on what he remembered from health class, Angel could tell that her blood pressure and heart rates were low. She had an oxygen mask over her mouth and nose, an IV in her hand and a sterile bandage over the gash on her cheek. Her cheeks were black and blue, and her jaw hung at an odd angle.

"How did this happen?" Mark asked.

Angel broke out of his reverie. "Excuse me?"

"What happened? Did she trip and fall? Or something else?"

He had to think of something and fast. Angel couldn't very well tell them that his vampire mother tried to kill his girlfriend. "A man attacked us. He stole her purse and pushed her into the mausoleum. She hit it pretty hard. When I saw that she was unconscious, I called 911." It sounded like a believable story.

Mark nodded. "You weren't hurt at all?"

"No, he pushed me out of the way to get Buffy's purse. I don't need any medical attention if that's what you're asking."

"Alright. Can you tell me her name?"

"Buffy Anne Summers."

"Date of birth?"

"January, 19, 1981."

"Her address?"

Angel answered as many of the questions as he could. He didn't know anything about her family history or if she was allergic to any medications. When Mark finished with his questions, Angel turned his attention to his girlfriend. Guilty tears stung his eyes upon seeing her hooked up to the machines. `It shouldn't be this way. She should be home watching TV, or at the Bronze with her friends. Instead, she's on her way to the hospital because I couldn't keep her safe.'

They reached the hospital in record time. Angel sat in the waiting area of the Emergency Room. He'd called Mrs. Summers as soon as he found a pay phone, because cell phones were prohibited in the hospital. It was pure torture for him to sit there and not be able to do anything. He hated feeling helpless.

Mrs. Summers rushed into the waiting room, flushed and out of breath. Angel stood up and embraced her. "How is she?" she wanted to know.

"I don't know. No one will tell me anything. I'm not a family member," he informed her sadly.

"What happened, Angel? How did she end up here?"

Angel closed his eyes painfully. "A vampire threw her against a mausoleum. I couldn't help her, I was fighting some myself. When I defeated them, I saw her hit the building. So I called 911."

"How bad did it look?"

He shrugged. "I can't tell. She has a cut across her cheek, and she'll be pretty black and blue." He paused for a moment. "Did you call Buffy's dad?"

Mrs. Summers nodded. "Hank'll be here in a little while. I'm going to go talk to one of the nurses. Maybe she'll know what's going on."

"Joyce?" called Angel.

"Yes?"

He took a deep breath. "I'm so sorry. I promised you I would take care of Buffy, and I couldn't do that."

She patted his knee. "Yes, you did. I don't even want to think about what might have happened to her if you hadn't been there."

An announcement came blaring over the intercom system as Mrs. Summers spoke to a nurse behind the desk. "Code Blue, ER 2. Repeat, Code Blue, ER 2. Stat."

The nurse left immediately to tend to the emergency. Mrs. Summers took a seat next to Angel, shaking her head. "She didn't know anything. The doctor will talk to us when they find out."

"Will he be out soon?"

"She didn't say. I'm so scared, Angel. What if my baby girl's never the same again?"

"Buffy will be fine." `I hope,' he thought.

********

An hour and a half later, when Mr. Summers arrived from L.A., Mrs. Summers and Angel still hadn't heard word of Buffy's condition. The waiting was excruciating, and the two of them fidgeted nervously the entire time. Talking and reading magazines couldn't keep them from worrying. Nothing took their minds off of Buffy.

Mr. Summers ran in and hugged his ex-wife. "How's Buffy?"

Tears filled her eyes, threatening to spill at any moment. "She's still with the doctor. She has been here for two hours and we haven't heard anything. I hate not knowing, Hank. That's our little girl in there."

"I know, Joyce. I feel the same way. I'll go see what's going on," he suggested.

"I tried, and they keep giving me the runaround. Nobody knows anything," Mrs. Summers told him. The three of them waited another twenty minutes before the doctor entered the waiting room.

"Mr. and Mrs. Summers?" They stood and walked toward him.

"Doctor, what's wrong? We've been here for hours," Buffy's mother said.

"I'm afraid I don't have good news."

"How bad is it?" Mr. Summers asked firmly.

"Buffy came in with a broken jaw, a deep laceration on her left cheek and three broken ribs. One of the ribs punctured a hole in her lung. She stopped breathing and her heart stopped," the doctor informed them.

Tears ran down Mrs. Summers' face. Her ex-husband held her for support. "Oh my god," she whimpered. Buffy had died.

"We revived her. She's on a respirator and a heart monitor. Buffy is unable to breathe on her own right now, but given some time, I feel that she'll be taken off of it."

Mr. Summers sighed with relief. Buffy would be okay. "How long before she can come home?"

The doctor shook his head. "Your daughter has a serious contusion from the impact of the fall. We don't believe she suffered any brain damage, but only time will tell."

"Will she be okay?"

"She slipped into a coma after she was revived. Buffy might wake up tomorrow, or a month from now, nobody can be certain. But I can tell you that the longer she remains in the coma, the less her chances are of a full recovery."

Mrs. Summers swallowed hard. "She could die."

"I'm sorry," the doctor apologized.

"Thank you."

"There's one more thing I haven't told you. When she arrived here, your daughter was severely hemorrhaging. We did everything we could."

Mr. Summers look at him suspiciously. "What are you talking about, you did everything you could?"

"She suffered a miscarriage. Buffy was almost three months pregnant. I'm sorry for the loss."

Angel, who had been sitting with his head in his hands, looked up. He could have sworn he heard the doctor say Buffy had had a miscarriage. `Buffy was pregnant? She was having my baby?' The doctor spoke to the Summers' for another minute before walking away.

Mr. Summers stormed over to Angel, anger apparent all over his face. "How could you do that?"

"Hank, don't do this," Mrs. Summers warned.

"Mr. Summers, I don't know what you're talking about." He forced Angel to stand up by grabbing his shirt.

"Don't play dumb with me. You used my daughter for sex, got her pregnant and tried to kill her and the baby. Exactly what kind of a person are you?"

"I didn't do anything to Buffy. And I swear I didn't know she was pregnant," Angel defended. "And I never used her for sex."

"Why don't I believe you? You're twenty-eight years old and you're sleeping with an eighteen year old girl. Something is wrong with that picture. What happened? Did Buffy tell you she was pregnant and you told her to get rid of it? And when she refused, you decided to do the job yourself?" Mr. Summers accused.

Mrs. Summers forced him to let go of Angel. "It wasn't his fault. I don't think Buffy even knew she was pregnant. She didn't start having morning sickness until today. She thought it was food poisoning, but I had my suspicions. Don't blame this on Angel."

"Mr. Summers, I would never purposely hurt Buffy. I love her," Angel swore.

"Then how did she end up here?"

"We were taking a walk and a man took her purse. He pushed her against a mausoleum and ran away."

"Is that the truth?"

Angel nodded. "Yes, it is."

Mrs. Summers placed a hand on his shoulders. "I am so sorry, Angel. About the baby. I know you'd have made a great father." `

Our baby. Buffy's and my baby. My own mother killed our child.' "There's something I have to do," he told them.

"Don't you want to see Buffy?" her mother asked. "She's being moved to a room in the ICU. We can see her in an hour."

"I'll be back by then."

"What are you doing?" Mr. Summers demanded. He didn't trust Angel.

"There is someone I have to see first. I do have one request, though."

"What's that?"

"If you call Giles or any of Buffy's friends, please don't tell them about the baby. I want her to know before everyone else."

Mrs. Summers nodded. "It's your decision, Angel. Please hurry back."

"I will." He walked out of the hospital in search of his mother.

********

54

Mr. Summers sat down in his chair. "I don't like him. He's up to something, I can feel it."

"Stop being so suspicious of Angel. He's a good man."

"There's something about him that doesn't sit right with me. Angel said he wouldn't hurt Buffy. Now look what he's done. He got our little girl pregnant and tried to kill her and our grandchild. She was better off with Kevin."

"That wasn't his fault and you know it, Hank, but you're just too stubborn to see. What happened to Buffy was an accident, you can't go around accusing Angel of something he didn't do."

He turned to his ex-wife. "How can you sit there and defend him? Even if he is as innocent as you claim, he still hurt her."

"How?"

"By getting our daughter pregnant. What kind of a man impregnates an eighteen year old girl he's only been dating for a few months? A sick man, that's who. Why can't he find a woman his own age and leave Buffy alone?"

Mrs. Summers had had it with his narrow-mindedness. "They're in love. Maybe if you spent a little more time with your daughter you'd know that. You'd see the way their faces light up when the other enters the room. With just one look at them, anyone can see how much in love they are."

"He's only using her."

She shook her head. "If he were using Buffy, Angel wouldn't have come to me at the beginning of September asking for my permission to give her an engagement ring; he wants to marry her. He's a total gentleman who loves Buffy and wants to make her happy."

Mr. Summers still had his doubts. "He isn't good enough for her."

"Buffy and Angel love each other."

"Love doesn't pay the bills. What kind of a life could he provide for her?"

"The one Buffy deserves. Didn't you see that necklace he gave her for graduation? It wasn't cheap, Hank. Real diamonds and emeralds. Angel's very wealthy, he'll provide a good, stable, secure life for her. You didn't see the engagement ring he bought. Two carat diamond."

"It doesn't mean anything."

"Haven't you been listening at all?"

"You're jaded by his money, Joyce. You don't see the real him, not like I see him. I see a cold-hearted young man who can't take responsibility for his own actions. And when the going gets tough, he runs away. Angel Reilly isn't the type of man our daughter should be associating with."

She was fuming. "You don't know him."

"I know that he walked out of this building without so much as asking how Buffy was. All he cared about was the fact that his baby was dead and he succeeded in killing it."

"What happened to the man I married? The one who believed love could conquer everything?"

"I'm still the same person."

Mrs. Summers made a disgusted face. "No, you're not. You've become hard and cynical, so much so that you can't even see how much Angel loves Buffy. I see them everyday, and there is no way he is pretending to love her or that he's using her. Angel treats her like gold. He never forced her to do anything she wasn't ready for; he puts her first before anyone else, including himself. He's the kind of man every parent dreams of their child finding. And now that Buffy's found him, you say he's not good enough? You aren't a father at all."

"Don't say that. I love my daughter and I want her to be happy."

"Angel makes her happy. Why can't you accept that?"

"Because she's lying in a hospital bed hooked up to machines and we don't know if she'll ever wake up. And that man could have stopped it from happening." His voice cracked with emotion.

"He couldn't have stopped it. Things got out of control and Buffy got hurt. Stop pinning the blame on Angel. It's not his fault."

********

Geoffrey made a move to unlock the door to Angel's apartment. As he stuck the key inside the lock, he felt a hand on his shoulder. He gasped when he saw who stood behind him.

"Long time no see, Geoffrey," Carolyn greeted with a smile.

He took a nervous breath. "C-Carolyn," he stammered. "What are you d-doing here?"

"I thought I'd stop by, see how you were doing. It's been twenty-two years, we have a lot of catching up to do."

"I have nothing to say to you." Geoffrey knew he was in a vulnerable position. He'd only be safe inside Angel's apartment, where Carolyn couldn't follow.

"Oh, but I have a few things I want to say. Let's play Twenty Questions, shall we? I'll start. How have you been?" she asked.

"Fine, up until now."

She smiled once again. "See, that was easy. Next question. Why the hell did you take my son?" Carolyn demanded.

"I wanted Angel to be safe."

"From me?"

"Yes. I was afraid of what you'd do to him."

"I'd never hurt my son. Although, it was kind of you to raise him to be just like you. A Watcher. But what pisses me off is that you took him away from me. I'm his mother. And your influence has done nothing but turn him into a combination of you and his real father. A handsome young man who has to force Slayers to sleep with him. Didn't do such a good job there."

Geoffrey vehemently shook his head. "Angel's not like his father. He has a conscience, and stopped before he hurt the woman he loves."

"Yes, the Slayer. He must have gotten that from all those years of being around you." Carolyn noted the blank look on Geoffrey's face. She ran her pointer finger down the front of his shirt. "Don't tell me you've forgotten about the night we made love. It was raining all night, and I was out on patrol. You had put Angel to sleep by the time I came home. I remember that I was shivering from my damp clothes and you put your arms around me. The next thing I knew, we were in your bed and you were making love to me. All night, Geoffrey. We didn't stop until we heard Angel waking up the next morning.

"I've had a lot of lovers since that night, but none of them treated me the way you did. You were the best. And I know it's been a long time, but what do you say to a repeat performance? They say men get better with age, and I've learned a lot since that night twenty-three years ago. Things you couldn't even dream of. Just invite me in and we'll do it all over again," she said in a husky voice.

"He's not inviting you in," Angel told her.

Neither of them heard him approach. "Angel. You've heard our big secret. Shame on you for listening in," Carolyn chastised.

"That you and Geoffrey were lovers? I knew that."

"How's Buffy? Is my count up to three Slayers yet?"

"She's alive."

"Too bad. I must be losing my touch. Oh well, there's always next time," she said.

Angel shook his head. "There won't be a next time," he vowed.

"I won't rest until she's gone from your life."

"Leave her alone and I'll join you," he said to his mother.

"Angel, no!" Geoffrey tried to stop him.

"Why?" asked Carolyn.

"Buffy's never going to wake up; my life is empty without her. I might as well be dead. Make me like you, Mother, and I'll stay by your side."

She grinned. "You've finally seen the light. Son, you'll make a fine childe."

"Show me your world."

"Before I do, how much did I hurt her? `Cause I want to know. She deserved everything that happened to her."

He stared in her brown orbs, lacking any kind of emotion. "Let's say I lost more than just the woman I love."

Carolyn switched into game face and Geoffrey watched in horror as she reached for her son's neck. He couldn't believe that Angel was going through with it.

Angel silently reached up his sleeve for the stake he had hidden in there. When he felt his mother's fangs prick the skin, he reached around her back, pushing the stake through her heart. "Angel?" she said before exploding into dust.

"I lost my child," he whispered. "Not just Buffy, but our baby."

********

Mrs. Summers led Angel to Buffy's room. "I'm going to warn you now, she doesn't look good. I don't want you to be afraid of what you see. There's a lot of machines in there. Don't stay for more than five minutes, doctor's orders."

He nodded. "Thank you, Joyce."

"No, thank you."

Angel opened the door, hearing only the sounds of the heart monitor and the respirator. His breath caught in his throat when he saw Buffy. Her head was bandaged up and she had a fresh, sterile dressing on her cheek.

She looked like a fragile china doll, dwarfed by the size of the bed. He couldn't help but let the tears flow upon seeing her so hurt. "I'm sorry I couldn't protect you; that I couldn't save you from my mother. I had no idea she would hurt you so badly.

"She's gone now, I killed her. She took so much from me tonight. My mother crossed the line when she put you here. I wasn't sure before if I could kill her, but I had to. It's one thing for her to attack me and make threats, but it's another to follow through with them. She almost killed you, Buffy. And she *did* kill our child. The one thing I ever did right in this life and she took it away."

He sniffled and placed his left hand on her stomach, where their baby resided twenty-four hours earlier. "We were going to have a baby together. Something we made together, a child conceived out of our love. And now he or she is gone, and we may never have the chance to recreate that miracle. The three of us, we would have been a family. Now it's gone. The one perfect thing we created is dead before we even knew about it. It isn't fair. You two were innocent, it shouldn't have happened.

"Buffy, I love you and I need you. Please wake up. Don't do this to us. Your parents are so worried, they don't want you to die; none of us do. Without you, I don't think I can go on. You mean everything to me. Wake up." Hot tears ran down his cheeks. "Please, God, I know I don't pray much, but you have to let her wake up. So many people need her. I need her. I'm nothing without her."

A nurse stepped into Buffy's room. "Excuse me, sir, but I have to ask you to leave now."

Wiping away his tears, Angel nodded. He bent down to kiss Buffy's lips. "I'll be back first thing tomorrow morning. I promise."

******** 55

Giles was roused from his sleep by a loud, constant pounding on his apartment door. He stumbled out of bed, carefully walking downstairs. `Who could it be at this hour?' he wondered. Opening the door, he found Angel standing there. "Angel. Why are you here?"

Angel took a shaky breath, his jaw quivering. "I-I… something's happened to Buffy. She's at Sunnydale Hospital."

Giles allowed Angel to enter, motioning for the young man to have a seat on the couch. "What happened? How is she?"

"She's in a coma. Her heart stopped…and she died…and they revived her," his voice wavered.

"Oh my god. How did this happen, Angel?"

Angel was so close to crying, but he held back, trying to stay strong. He couldn't let Giles see him cry. "It-it was my mother. I don't know exactly what happened; I was fighting some vamps while Buffy and my mother were fighting. All I know is that I saw Buffy get thrown against a mausoleum and fall to the ground. She was unconscious and I called 911 for an ambulance."

"What did the doctors say? How bad are her injuries?" Giles asked.

"A broken jaw, three broken ribs, a deep cut on her cheek that needed twenty stitches, a punctured lung and a cranial contusion. Also some internal bleeding." Angel purposely didn't mention Buffy's miscarriage. He didn't want anyone outside the family knowing about it until Buffy was well enough to be told herself.

"And she's in a coma?"

Angel nodded grimly. "They don't know when, or even if, she'll wake up. The longer she stays unconscious, the less her chances are of making it. It doesn't look good." He gave up on the strong act and let the tears fall.

"There's nothing they can do?"

"No."

Giles put his hand to his eyes, rubbing them. It was all so hard to take. "And Carolyn? What happened to her?"

"She's out of the picture."

"Buffy staked her?"

He shook his head. "No, I did."

********

He didn't know what was going on, except that Angel stopped Carolyn from probably killing him. Geoffrey had to admit that he wasn't exactly fighting her advances very hard. Seeing her after so long brought him back to the passionate encounter they'd shared over two decades earlier. Carolyn's beauty never faded, she still had the face of the young woman he had fallen in love with twenty nine years ago.

Geoffrey stirred from his memories when Angel entered the apartment. Checking his watch, he saw that it was three in the morning. Looking at Angel, he was shocked by his disheveled appearance. The young man looked much older than his twenty eight years. "Where've you been?" he asked.

After staking his mother, Angel took off without a word. Geoffrey had no idea what was going on, except the bits he heard. "At the hospital. Then I went to Giles'."

"What was all that about earlier?" he wanted to know.

"Buffy was hurt during patrol. She is in a coma," Angel answered simply.

Geoffrey grimaced. Everything made sense now. "It was Carolyn. She hurt Buffy, didn't she?"

Angel nodded. "Yes. And the doctors don't know if Buffy will make it. She already died once tonight, and now she might die for good. My god, what will I do without her?"

"She'll be fine. Buffy's a fighter, she will bounce back. I'm sure of it."

"I had to make a choice, the one you told me about. Choosing between my mother and Buffy. I killed my own mother." Angel's eyes became glassy with tears.

"That wasn't Carolyn, it was the demon that took over her body. But it was very brave of you, I was there."

Angel bit his lip. "I don't even remember doing it. One minute I heard her talking to you and the next she was gone."

"You did what you felt was right. She almost killed Buffy."

"I couldn't let my mother do that to her again. She took so much from us tonight."

"The baby?"

Angel looked at his surrogate father, questions in his eyes. "How did you know?" he demanded.

"After you staked your mother, you said you and Buffy lost your baby. She had a miscarriage, I take it," Geoffrey wagered.

He couldn't hold back his tears any longer. He thought it wasn't possible for him to cry anymore, but he couldn't keep it in. So many tears had fallen from his eyes that day that he lost count.

"Buffy was almost three months pregnant. We were going to have a baby boy the doctor told me. We created this little baby and now we'll never see him. He was innocent in all this, and now he's the victim. The only thing I ever did right and now it's gone. All because of my mother. Buffy and I may never be given a second chance at another child."

"You and Buffy will have plenty more chances," Geoffrey reassured him.

"Not if she doesn't wake up. As much as I hate to say it, you and Giles were right. It was dangerous for me and Buffy to be together. I almost got her killed and I *did* kill our son."

"Don't say that, Angel. None of this is your fault, so don't go blaming yourself. Buffy wouldn't."

"Her father hates me. He thinks I did it on purpose; that I wanted to kill her and our baby. Mr. Summers doesn't want me to see her anymore. I think he may be right. I've caused Buffy nothing but heartache."

Geoffrey put his arms around Angel. "I bet she thinks differently. You two love each other. I've seen the way she looks at you, she adores you. In no way could she blame you for this, or say that you've hurt her."

"I have hurt her, or have you forgotten my little attack?" reminded Angel.

"I'm not talking about that. It's ancient history to Buffy, she told me so. For once, would you believe in yourself? You have a kind, caring, beautiful young woman who thinks you hung the moon. Stop belittling who think you are and look at yourself the way she does; the way we all do.

"I am sorry about what happened to Buffy, and that she lost your baby. But that wasn't your fault. You weren't the one who pushed her against that mausoleum, Carolyn was. She came here with the intent of killing the Slayer, regardless of whether or not you were in love with the girl. It was you who saved Buffy's life. If you hadn't been there, she might be dead right now."

Angel simply hung his head. There was nothing he could say.

"Has Giles called the Council yet?" Geoffrey wanted to know.

He nodded. "Yes. A new Slayer was activated the minute Buffy's heart stopped. I guess it doesn't matter that she's alive again. Her name is Nicole, and she will be in Sunnydale tomorrow afternoon. Or today, I guess. Giles will be taking care of her initial training."

"Will you be helping this Nicole girl?"

"No. I'm going to be with Buffy every waking minute."

"Angel…"

"No. I don't want to hear it. When Buffy wakes up, I want to be the first person she sees."

********

56

The time was past ten when Angel woke up the next morning. It had been a restless sleep, constantly tossing and turning from his internal struggles. Was it really his fault that Buffy lay in a coma? And if so, would he be able to handle seeing her again, looking deep into her emerald eyes and not think that he'd almost ended her life? Either way, he wasn't too sure.

He woke up to a wet pillow under his right cheek. Running his fingers along his cheekbone, he discovered the fresh tears that spilt during his troubled sleep. He wondered if he'd ever be able to stop crying. Most of the night had been spent in tears, with the Summers', Giles, Geoffrey and himself, and he would have thought his body unable to produce any more tears. But remembering the sight of Buffy lying on the ground, bloody and bruised; laying in a hospital bed hooked up to numerous machines; and the thought of their unborn son sent Angel over the edge yet again.

Mechanically, he crawled out of bed, walking into the bathroom to brush his teeth. As he performed his daily morning routine, every little thing reminded him of her. Buffy's toothbrush in the cup next to his, her toiletries adorning his sink and medicine cabinet. He blinked away more tears when his gaze fell upon the space between the couch and the coffee table, where they'd made love after he told her about his high school experiences. Even looking at the kitchen counter brought him back.

"Buffy, I don't think this is such a good place to do this," Angel said to her.

She grinned. "Don't be such a wimp. It'll be fun."

"And uncomfortable."

"No, it won't. It'll be exciting. Come on, live a little."

He groaned. "Having sex on the counter isn't my idea of exciting."

Buffy pouted. "Please? For me?"

"I don't know…"

"You got to have your fun in the shower, now I want to do it on the counter. It's either this or the table."

Angel had given in and they made love on the kitchen counter. Now, at the memory of it, he unconsciously ran his hand across the cold tile.

"I was wondering when you were going to wake up," Geoffrey commented from behind him.

He turned. "I didn't expect to sleep that long. I wanted to be at the hospital by nine o'clock. Visiting hours started then."

"You needed your sleep. Don't deny yourself that. It's bad enough that Buffy is in the hospital, we don't need you being admitted as well."

Angel blinked. "I just want to be with her for as long as I can."

"And make yourself sick in the process? You know Buffy wouldn't want that."

"It makes me feel so helpless, but then I think that maybe if I'm there, Buffy'll wake up."

"She'll wake up when she's ready to, Angel."

"Yeah, I know. But I can't stand the wait."

"It'll happen."

"Do you want to come to the hospital with me?" asked Angel.

Geoffrey shook his head. "This is your time with her. I'll visit another day."

"Alright. But if Giles calls…"

"I know, I know. Don't mention the baby. You have my word; it stays between us and Buffy's family."

Angel hugged him. "Thank you, Geoffrey. That means a lot that you'll keep this a secret."

"Go see Buffy."

"I'm going to. One more thing before I go. If a Mr. Jackson calls while I am gone, could you read him this?" Angel handed him a slip of paper.

"Of course."

After Angel left for the hospital, Geoffrey read what was written on the piece of paper. GREGORY REILLY. NEVER SEEN BUT LOVED NONETHELESS.

********

Angel stepped through the double doors of Sunnydale Hospital. By the time he'd showered and gotten dressed, it was almost eleven. On his way to the elevators, he saw Kevin Matthews walking toward him. He groaned in annoyance.

"What are you doing here?" growled Angel.

Kevin smiled ever-so-slightly. "Visiting Buffy. She's with the doctor right now."

"How did you find out she was here?"

"It was on the news last night. So I thought I'd stop by and see how she's doing. I brought her some flowers and stuff."

Angel glared at him. "You stay away from Buffy. It's bad enough with the ideas you put in her head while I was gone, I don't need you putting things in her subconscious. You've already hurt her enough."

"And you haven't?" Kevin shot back.

"What's that supposed to mean?"

"Come on, don't play dumb. She has a severe head injury and I don't think it was caused by a mugger. You put her in here, I know it. I see who you really are. A heartless, abusive boyfriend."

He held back his anger, trying his hardest not to explode. "I never laid a hand on Buffy."

Kevin sneered. "Sure you didn't. She's in here because she ran head-first into a mausoleum? I don't think so. Buffy may not have loved me, but at least I never beat her up or put her in the hospital. Look what your love's done to her – she's in a coma. She was better off with me and you know it."

He walked out of the building, leaving Angel to think about what he'd said. `Is Kevin right?' Angel asked himself while on the elevator to the fourth floor. `Maybe if I'd never entered her life, Buffy would be safe.' He continued to think about this while on his way to the waiting room. From the doorway, he heard Buffy's parents talking.

"I couldn't sleep last night, Hank. All I could think about was Buffy being here."

"Me, too."

"It got me thinking. I started going through my assets and I realized that the hospital bills are going to be horrendous. I'll never be able to afford them on my earnings," Mrs. Summers told her ex-husband.

"You're not in this alone, Joyce. I'll be paying for them, too."

She shook her head. "Unless the firm increased your salary by three hundred percent, there's not much either of us can do."

"We'll figure something out," Mr. Summers reassured her. "All that matters is that Buffy gets well."

"I know, but I can't help worrying. You know how hospitals overcharge for everything. I'm going to have to take out a second mortgage on the house, and possibly put the gallery up for sale."

Angel stepped into the room, interrupting their conversation. "No, you won't."

"Angel," Mrs. Summers said. "When did you get here?"

"A minute ago. I heard what you said about the house and the gallery. I won't let it happen. Don't worry about Buffy's hospital bills, I'll pay them."

Before either parent could say anything, the doctor entered the waiting room. "I have good news. We took Buffy off the ventilator, she's breathing on her own."

They all sighed with relief. It was a step in the right direction; a step closer to recovery.

"May we see her?" Mr. Summers wanted to know.

"Only one at a time."

"Hank, you go first. I need to speak with Angel." He nodded and headed down the hall toward Buffy's room.

Mrs. Summers looked at her daughter's boyfriend. "Why, Angel? Why are you doing this?"

"I owe it to you and Mr. Summers."

"You don't owe us anything. Buffy's hospital bills are our concern, not yours. We're her parents, let us take care of them," she said to him.

"But I put her here. This is my fault, and doing this is all I can do at the moment to redeem myself for the hurt I've caused all of you."

"How can it be your fault? You didn't hurt Buffy."

"You don't know the whole story," Angel said. "It wasn't just a random vampire who attacked Buffy. It was my mother."

Mrs. Summers was genuinely confused. "What? You told me she died."

"That's what I was told, but it turns out she was turned into a vampire. To make a long story short, she found out about me and Buffy and started stalking us. Last night, she decided she was going to kill her. I can only take comfort in the fact that she failed in her attempt," Angel explained.

"Where is she now?"

He glanced downward. "She's dead. For good this time."

"You killed her?"

"She more than deserved it for what she did to Buffy and our baby."

"It must have been hard for you."

Angel shook his head. "No. What's hard is knowing that I had a son and now Buffy and I will never see him. And that you and Mr. Summers hate me for that."

"For what?"

"Getting Buffy pregnant."

"Do I act like I hate you? I don't. Angel, I know that you wouldn't have abandoned her or your child. And that you were going to marry her. I was aware that you and Buffy have been having sex, and I also know that sometimes a couple forgets about protection, and even if it is used, there's no guarantee. I can't hate you for making my daughter feel loved and special, or that a child was born out of that. If I've made you think otherwise, I'm sorry."

"But your ex-husband…"

"Hank is an idiot. He's hurting right now and he took it out on you. Neither of us blame you for what happened to Buffy. We're upset that she's here and not at home, and that we'll never know our grandson."

Angel inhaled deeply. "Imagine how Buffy's going to feel."

"It'll all work out. You two will make Hank and I grandparents again someday."

********

"Angel?"

He'd been sitting by Buffy's bedside, holding her hand for over an hour. Mr. and Mrs. Summers had gone out for lunch, so Angel took the opportunity to spend more time with the comatose Slayer. He looked up to see Giles standing in the doorway.

"I wasn't expecting to see you here."

"I wanted to introduce you to Nicole Bakowski, the new Slayer. And I also wanted to visit Buffy. How is she doing?" Giles asked.

"A little better. She's breathing on her own now. It's a good sign."

Giles smiled. "That's great news. Would you mind if I visited for a minute? I won't be long."

"Sure." Angel stood up and let Giles sit with her. In the hallway, he saw a tall, dark-haired girl no older than seventeen leaning against the wall, looking very uncomfortable. "Hi, you must be Nicole."

"Yep."

"I'm Angel Reilly."

"Nice to meet you. Not to sound rude, but what happened to her?" Nicole asked, pointing to Buffy. "Is she why I'm here?"

"That's Buffy Summers, the Slayer. There was an accident last night and she's in a coma. Her heart stopped, which is why you were called," Angel informed her.

Nicole nodded. "You are close, I take it."

"Very. She's my girlfriend."

"But I thought you were a Watcher."

"I am. It's a special circumstance."

She stared at him. He looked tired and worn out. It was apparent that Angel hadn't shaved, or that he hadn't slept much the night before. Still, she'd never seen a more handsome man. And she'd been with plenty of men.

Giles stepped out of the room. "I'm so sorry, Angel," he said.

"Thank you."

"I remember what it was like for me when my Jenny died. She was killed by a vampire in February of last year. I was devastated, I loved her so much, she was my best friend. I can understand what you're going through; how hard it must be for you."

Angel only looked at him. "You have no idea what I'm going through, Giles. You can never understand how hard it is."

********

57

Days turned into nights, nights became days, and into weeks, and before anyone knew it, a month had passed. It was three days before Christmas and Buffy still lay in a coma. She hadn't blinked, wiggled or twitched her fingers, or made a single sound. Hope slowly began to diminish among the hospital staff that the pretty blonde girl in Room 424 would ever regain consciousness. They wore sympathetic faces when family was near, but secretly wondered how long Buffy would be able to survive.

Buffy's friends were shocked and devastated by the turn of events. Willow cried for a better part of the next day, and came up to visit whenever she could. She always told the comatose Slayer what was going on with school and with the slaying. One of the first things she said to Buffy after meeting Nicole was how much she disliked the new Slayer.

"I don't like her, something's just wrong with her," Willow said. "Buffy, you better wake up soon. Nicole wants more than just your job as Slayer."

It didn't go undetected by the redhead the looks Nicole always seemed to give Angel. While he never paid attention to Buffy's replacement, she certainly paid attention to him. Willow would catch her gazing at him out of the corner of her eye, how she took every opportunity to be near him, be with him and attempt to touch him. But Angel was always too distracted to really notice.

The entire gang – Willow, Xander, Oz and Cordelia – felt worse for him than for Buffy's family. Ever since the accident, Angel closed himself off from everyone and everything. He stopped taking interest in his physical appearance and didn't dress as dapperly as he had before. In the month that passed, Angel hadn't bothered shaving. Not a lot had grown in the way of a beard or a mustache, but it was a significant enough change to let the world know that he no longer cared about how he looked.

The only time he left the hospital was to go home and sleep. From nine in the morning until eight at night, he'd sit in the waiting room or in Buffy's room, holding her hand and saying how much he missed her, how much he needed her. To everyone that knew him before, Angel had become a shell of the man he used to be. In essence, he played the part of the grieving widower, which was how he felt. And he knew that if Buffy didn't make it, he'd soon follow.

Her bruises were beginning to heal. Her cheeks returned to their normal rosy color, the stitches over her cut had been removed, leaving a long, red scrape that would surely scar. Buffy's jaw was almost fully healed and her ribs were repaired through a minor surgery four days after her admittance. Now, all that was left was for her to wake up.

Wednesday afternoon, the Wednesday before Christmas, Angel and Willow sat in the waiting room while Xander and Cordelia visited with Buffy.

"We're all going to the Bronze tonight, Angel, if you want to come with us," Willow invited.

He flashed her a slight smile. "Thanks for the offer, but I don't think so."

"You have to face the world someday."

"My world is lying in a hospital bed, unconscious. I want to be here with her."

"Buffy wouldn't want you to be spending your whole day here. She'd force you to go out and enjoy yourself."

He shook his head. "It's easier said than done, believe me. I can't go out and have fun when she's here. It wouldn't be right."

"You're killing yourself, don't you realize that?"

"I don't care. Without Buffy, I don't have anything worth living for."

"Don't say that. You have us," she admonished. "Angel, you have plenty to live for."

"Like what? Slaying? How can I go out there and do that when that very thing killed her?"

"Stop talking about Buffy like she's already dead. She's not."

"I know. Sometimes I can't help it. It hurts." Willow sighed. "You know, it wouldn't hurt for you to open up. We all know what you're feeling because we feel it too. We can share our grief, our pain. Let us in."

But he couldn't. The grief he carried, he would have to carry himself. Angel knew that by now, Buffy would have been four months pregnant. They'd probably be out shopping for clothes, a crib, toys, diapers and other necessities for their son. That was simply a dream, a cold, hard reality lost to him. Not a day passed that Angel didn't think about Gregory, the son they lost.

Visiting hours ended at eight o'clock, and at five after, Angel tore himself from Buffy's bedside, forced to leave for another night. He hated leaving her, even though he knew she was receiving the best possible care. There was always the possibility that something might happen while he was gone. He stood at the elevators, waiting for the next available car.

With his back to the Nurse's Station, he heard two nurses talking. "You know who's really hot? That guy who's always here visiting the girl in 424," one nurse said.

"I feel so bad for him. He's here constantly, holding vigil at her bedside. It's so sad," the other nurse replied.

"Yeah, I hear ya. When she finally dies, he's going to be a mess, I can tell. Actually, I wouldn't mind being the shoulder he cries on. A man that good-looking shouldn't be spending his days in a hospital grieving for his dying girlfriend."

"You think she's dying?"

"Uh-huh. The girl's been in a coma for a month. Ain't no way she's gonna wake up. I'll bet she's dead by New Year's."

`I can't let my Buffy die,' Angel said to himself, stepping into the elevator. `They're wrong. She'll wake up.'

********

When he returned home, Angel was beyond upset. He wasn't thinking clearly and for the first time in his life, he needed a drink. Angel never drank alcohol very much, but he desperately wanted to get obliterated out of his mind. Maybe it would numb his pain. He grabbed a bottle of whiskey and headed for his bedroom to drink it. Geoffrey wasn't home, he'd returned to Los Angeles for a few days to tend to things there. Angel told him to go, get away from Sunnydale for a while. He would be back by Christmas Eve.

His first stop upon entering his bedroom was opening the top drawer of his dresser, pulling out the small velvet box containing Buffy's engagement ring. He stared at it for a long time once he settled down onto his bed.

"Three days. I was going to propose in three days. Everything was planned. I'd take her to the park, sit on the swings, then get down on one knee and ask Buffy to marry me. But not now. Everything is ruined now. Dammit!"

He swallowed a mouthful of the alcoholic beverage, ignoring the burning sensation as it went down his throat. By nine-thirty, Angel finished the bottle and passed out on the bed, still clutching the box.

********

The door had been left partly open. Nicole poked her head inside. "Angel?" she called, but received no answer. She entered the apartment, closing the door softly behind her. Giles sent her over to give Angel some books.

Making her way through the apartment, Nicole searched every room for him. She knew that he always came home after leaving the hospital, and that he had to be home. Looking in his bedroom, she found him sprawled on the bed, unconscious.

At first, she thought he was sleeping, but when she saw the empty whiskey bottle on the floor next to the bed, Nicole knew he'd gotten drunk. Grinning, she took the rare opportunity to do what she'd been fantasizing about doing since first laying eyes on him. Nicole bent down to kiss his lips. She could taste the alcohol on them, but didn't care. Climbing onto the bed, straddling him, she lifted Angel's shirt over his head. He lay prone to her, his chest bare for her to kiss a line from his throat to the waistband of his jeans. Nicole wanted him, whether he be sober or drunk.

When his pants were being removed, Angel slowly drifted back into consciousness. The room was hazy and spinning, and the only thing he was aware of were the hands tugging at his clothing.

Nicole looked at him, thinking about how perfect his body was, and what a magnificent lover he must be. Soon, she'd find out. She wanted him to touch her, make love to her. Her hopes rose when she gazed into his eyes, seeing the lust in them.

"Buffy," he moaned. He never saw Nicole above him. The person he was seeing had blonde hair and piercing green eyes. His Buffy, his love. She was with him, touching him. "I missed you."

`He thinks I'm his Slayer. Won't he be surprised.' She kissed him again, shoving her tongue inside his mouth.

Angel, even through his drunken haze, could tell something was wrong. Buffy never kissed him like that, plundering his mouth. She was always so gentle, their tongues doing an erotic mating dance. This girl was raping him with her mouth. As his tongue ran over Nicole's piercing, Angel sobered up immediately. He pulled away.

"What are you doing here?" he demanded.

"What's it look like I'm doing?" Nicole flirted.

"Get out of here," Angel growled.

She ran her fingers across his chest. "I like it here with you. I want you, Angel. So badly. I can almost taste it."

"Well, I don't want you. Get the hell out of my apartment."

"You don't mean that."

"Try me."

"I know you like fucking Slayers. Wanna try it with someone who has some experience? I've got muscles you've never dreamed of, and I know how to use them," Nicole said seductively. "I can bet I'd give you more pleasure than that comatose little girl you've been sleeping with."

Angel pushed her off the bed. "I'm not some guy you can just get into bed. I love Buffy and if you ever talk like that about her again, I'll make you regret it. Go find someone else, because I don't want you."

"You can't get rid of me this easily. I'll have you, one way or another. I promise you that," she said as she walked out the door.

********

58

"You've always loved Christmas, Angel," Geoffrey commented as they walked up the steps to the Summers' front porch. They'd been invited to spend Christmas with Buffy's mother, as well as with a few friends. "Why is it that you look like you're being led to your execution?"

Angel shrugged his broad shoulders. "I'm not in a very festive mood, I guess."

"Buffy, huh?"

"This was supposed to be our first Christmas together. I had it all planned."

"I'm sorry. I know that today was going to be the day," apologized Geoffrey.

"It was. But now everything's ruined."

"No, it's not. Maybe today wasn't the day it's meant to happen. Someday, son, you will put that ring on her finger and you two will get married. There's no doubt in my mind."

Angel grimaced. "She has to wake up first."

"Buffy will pull through this. You've been brooding for over a month now. Today I want you to focus on the positive instead of the negative. Buffy's mother went to a lot of trouble to cook this dinner for us. Forget about life's problems for awhile and enjoy it." Geoffrey rang the doorbell, and they waited a minute for someone to answer.

Mrs. Summers opened the door with a festive grin on her face. "Angel, I'm glad you came. Merry Christmas."

He smiled. "Same to you, Joyce." He placed the gifts he brought under the tree once they entered, then embraced her.

"You must be Geoffrey," she said, extending her arm to the older man. "It's a pleasure to finally meet you."

Geoffrey was struck by her appearance. This forty-something woman could easily pass for Buffy's sister. She was as breathtaking as her daughter. "The pleasure is all mine, ma'am," he told her, kissing the back of her hand.

"Please, call me Joyce." She liked the charming Englishman.

"Very well."

She motioned with her hands for them to sit down. "Have a seat on the couch while I finish with dinner."

"Do you need any help?" Angel asked.

Mrs. Summers shook her head. "No thanks. It's almost ready. Another fifteen minutes."

Angel took a seat, staring at the fireplace, thinking about how awkward it felt to be at Buffy's home without Buffy there. He felt guilty for not being at the hospital with her, but Mrs. Summers had insisted he spend the holidays at her house. First thing the next morning, he'd be with Buffy once again.

Geoffrey followed Mrs. Summers into the kitchen. "How have you been holding up?"

She sighed unhappily. "As well as I can. I try to put up a strong front for Hank and Angel and the kids, but I don't know how much longer I can keep it up."

"I can only imagine how hard it must be for you and your husband."

"Ex-husband, actually. Four years now. But we're taking it day by day. There isn't anything we can do, though, except wait for Buffy to wake up."

"Like I tell Angel everyday, she'll come out of it when she's ready." She nodded grimly.

"He's taking it harder than all of us."

"He blames himself for what's happened," said Geoffrey.

"It's not his fault, nobody blames him. Not me, not Hank, nobody. Angel shouldn't take responsibility for what his mother did."

Geoffrey was taken aback. "You know about Carolyn?"

"Is that her name? Carolyn?" He nodded. "Angel told me the following day. But none of that has anything to do with him. He stopped her, killed her and he saved my little girl's life. He's done everything he can to protect her. I'm grateful for that."

"Still, he feels responsible."

"Angel's in a lot of pain, which I know about. He and Buffy love each other very much, and what he's going through is hard."

Geoffrey agreed with what she was saying. "I know exactly what he's going through."

"You lost your wife?"

He shook his head. "No, I've never been married. But I was in love with someone once and she was killed. It devastated me and I didn't think I could go on, but I did. That was over twenty years ago."

"I'm sorry."

"Thank you. Although I fear Angel may take a more dangerous route than I did. I left the city after my lover died. I am afraid that Angel may do something much more drastic."

Mrs. Summers widened her eyes. "You think he might commit suicide if something were to happen to Buffy?"

Geoffrey looked into the empty living room. "I wouldn't put it past him."

********

Angel walked upstairs to the bathroom. He'd drunk too much coffee that afternoon and he needed to use the facilities. On the way, he passed Buffy's bedroom. Peeking inside, he saw that it remained exactly the same as it had been a month earlier. He entered the room, his eyes wandering to the shelves near the door. On the fourth shelf, he found a framed 8x10 of them taken at the Prom. It was the same picture he had on his bedstand at home and in Mrs. Summers' office at the art gallery. Angel couldn't believe how happy they looked, how carefree. As if nothing could tear them apart. He longed for those days of innocence. Lost in his thoughts, he never heard her enter. It wasn't until he turned around that he saw Nicole in the doorway. He blushed and turned away when he noticed that she wore only a towel around her head.

She, on the other hand, grinned mischievously. "Angel, I didn't realize you were in here." Nicole made no attempt to hide her nakedness. He felt uncomfortable around her, knowing that it was not a coincidence causing her to enter without covering herself up.

Angel knew what she wanted, and he certainly wasn't about to give it to her. "Why are you here?"

"Mrs. Summers invited me to dinner. She said I could shower and stay for the night."

"In Buffy's room?"

She nodded. "Yep." Nicole plopped herself down on the bed. "You know, this bed is very comfy. Did you and Buffy ever do it in here?"

He glared at the young girl. "That's none of your business."

Nicole continued to grin. "You know, my offer still stands. How about we do it here, in Princess' bed? That would be exciting."

"I'm not interested."

"That's right, you're a one Slayer guy. According to her diary, you're a hell of a great lover. I believe her exact words were, `With one touch and one look, he can send me into fits of orgasm like I never imagined.' Did you know that she is afraid that she never makes you feel the same way? Princess feels a little inadequate. I wonder why."

"You read her diary? What gives you the right?" he accused.

"It was there, I was bored, so I did some reading. I have to admit, I was shocked to find out that Princess is the only lay you've ever had. And in L.A., Watcher Boy liked it rough," Nicole taunted. "You don't seem like the type. But hey, I can do rough. You and Princess ever try bondage?"

Angel's heart pounded like a jackhammer. He was embarrassed that Nicole knew the intimate details about his and Buffy's love life. "Stay away from us. I'm not interested in playing your little games." He walked out of Buffy's room, heading for the bathroom.

"You already are."

********

"Joyce, open yours first," Angel instructed. She took the large, heavy present from the pile next to her. She had no idea what it could be. "It's so big! What on earth did you get me?"

"Open it and find out."

Mrs. Summers tore at the wrapping paper. Her breath caught when she saw what Angel gave her. It was a portrait of herself and Buffy, drawn in pencil with shades of black and white. "Oh my lord, this is so beautiful, Angel. This must have cost you a fortune."

He smiled shyly. "I drew it myself a few months ago. Do you like it?"

"I love it. You drew this? I didn't know you were an artist."

"I'm not, it's sort of a hobby. I wasn't sure what to get you, so Buffy suggested I draw a picture of the two of you," he said.

"Thank you, it's exquisite. I'll put it above the fireplace."

Angel shook his head. "You don't have to."

"I want to."

They opened the rest of their gifts. Geoffrey received a cellular phone from Angel and a gray sweater from Mrs. Summers. He, in turn, bought her a gold necklace. Angel got a watch from Mrs. Summers and a china set from Geoffrey.

"Will I see you at the hospital tomorrow?" Angel asked Buffy's mother.

"I'll be there in the early afternoon."

********

Angel held Buffy's hand to his lips. "Yesterday was Christmas, you know. Our first Christmas together, and I had to spend it without you. It felt all wrong to celebrate such a festive occasion and not have you to share it with.

"Your mom loved the picture, Buffy, you were right. She asked me to hang it on the mantle above the fireplace. I have to admit, it's a beautiful picture. Not artistically, but because I had the most beautiful subject. You.

"But it was bittersweet. I couldn't give you your present. Buffy, I was going to propose to you last night. I bought the ring and everything. It was going to be the proposal you deserved. Me down on one knee, holding a diamond ring in hopes you'd actually say yes. I want so badly to marry you, to spend the rest of my life with you. But you're here, and I can't ask you while you're unconscious. That's why you have to wake up, Buffy. So I can give you that engagement ring; so you'll know just how important you are to me. Just open your eyes."

Sobs wracked his body, making him tremble as tears fell from his eyes. Everything he ever wanted was within his grasp and it seemed like he'd lost it all in a heartbeat. Angel cried so hard that he never felt Buffy's fingers twitch in his hand.

Buffy's eyes lazily opened, focusing on her crying boyfriend. "Angel?" she whispered softly.

He lifted his head, making eye contact with the now-conscious Buffy. She was awake.

********

59

Angel stared in awe at the green eyes fixed on him. After a month in a coma, Buffy finally regained consciousness. He couldn't believe it, it was almost too good to be true. His Christmas wish had really come true. "Buffy?" he said, flabbergasted.

"Is it really you, Angel?" she asked.

"Of course it is. God, this is so amazing, Buffy. You finally woke up. I have to get the doctor."

Buffy gently shook her head. "No."

He planted a soft kiss on the back of her hand. "I'll be right back, love. I promise."

Angel practically ran out of the room. He was so happy and relieved Buffy had woken up that he narrowly avoided colliding with an elderly couple walking down the hall. When he reached the Nurses' Stations, he slammed his fist on the flat surface to gain the nurse's attention.

"Can I help you, sir?" she asked. It was one of the two nurses who had been talking about him a few days earlier.

"My girlfriend just woke up," he said, out of breath.

"What room is she in?" She was somewhat disappointed. She'd had her sights set on the comatose girl's boyfriend.

Angel sighed. "Room 424. Buffy Summers."

"I'll call the doctor in a minute."

"Call him now!"

"Sir, he's with a patient," the nurse remarked shortly.

His blood boiled. "I don't care if he's with the Pope or President Clinton. I want him in her room now."

"Fine," she relented, picking up the telephone to make an announcement. "Doctor Thomas to the Nurses' Station. Doctor Thomas to the Nurses' Station." The nurse replaced the phone on its receiver. "Are you happy now?"

"Ecstatic," Angel replied through his teeth. First opportunity he had, he would report her bad attitude to her superior.

When he returned to her room, he found Buffy's eyes closed once again. Angel feared she'd slipped back into her coma. "Buffy, wake up," he ordered in a desperate voice.

Her eyes opened into slits. "Awake."

"Look at me. Keep looking at me."

"Always. I always want to look at you."

His heart soared that she was offering him forever with her through her semi-consciousness. "How do you feel?" Angel wanted to know.

"Achy. My head hurts."

"You'll feel better soon."

"Love you," Buffy said.

He smiled, tears filling his eyes. "Love you, too."

The doctor entered the room at that moment. "I see someone has finally woken up."

"Who're you?" she asked.

"I'm Doctor Thomas, I've been taking care of you since you got here." He turned to Angel. "I'll have to ask you to leave while I examine Buffy."

Angel nodded, understanding. "Okay. I'll go call her family."

Buffy lifted her arm off the bed. It felt as heavy as a stone in her weakened state, but she tried to reach out to her boyfriend. "Angel, don't go," she pleaded in a small voice.

He bit his lip, wanting so badly to do as she requested. "I have to, the doctor said. I'm going to call your parents and Giles and the whole gang." She whimpered. "Buffy, I'll be right outside the whole time."

"Kiss?"

Angel could never deny Buffy that. He placed a gentle kiss on her lips before leaving the room. In the hallway, he watched through the window as Doctor Thomas checked her vitals. Her eyes opened a little bit more. A good sign indeed, she was back for good. When he reached the pay phones, the first person Angel called was Mrs. Summers. He didn't know the direct number to her office, so he had to be connected through the Information Desk at the gallery.

"Joyce Summers, proprietor," she answered the phone.

"Joyce, it's Angel."

Fear ran through her veins. She knew he wouldn't call unless something had changed regarding Buffy's condition. "What's going on? Is Buffy alright?"

"She's awake."

She sighed with joy. "When?"

"Ten minutes ago. I was talking to her and she said my name," Angel told her.

"I'll be right there."

"Would you like me to call her father?"

Mrs. Summers laughed shortly. "Good luck. Hank is away on business and unreachable at the moment. It figures he'd be gone when Buffy woke up."

"I didn't know."

"That's okay. I will be there in about fifteen minutes." She hung up.

Angel pulled out another quarter, dialed Giles' number and waited a minute before he picked up. "Hello?" the Englishman asked.

"It's Angel. Buffy just woke up."

"That's terrific news. How long ago?"

"Ten minutes or so. I think she might want to see you when the doctor's finished examining her."

"I'm so glad she's awake. I shall be there as soon as possible." After hanging up yet again, he called the rest of her friends.

********

For three hours, everyone waited in the Sunnydale Hospital waiting room for the doctor to finish examining Buffy. None of them, excluding Angel, had yet to see the now-conscious Slayer. Mrs. Summers and Geoffrey sat on either side of Angel. Willow and Oz held hands, as did Xander and Cordelia. Directly across from Angel sat Giles and Nicole. Everyone prayed for good news, except the new Slayer. She was aware that Buffy's presence would put a serious crimp in her plans for winning Angel.

"I hope my baby's okay," Mrs. Summers said. "She's all I have in the world."

"Buffy will be fine, Joyce," Geoffrey reassured.

"She woke up and she's talking. I'd say she's well on her way to a full recovery."

The waiting room doors opened and Doctor Thomas walked in. "Mrs. Summers?"

She took hold of Angel's hand and they made their way over to the doctor. "How is she, Doctor Thomas?" she asked.

He smiled. "Buffy's doing fine. She's coherent, knows who she is and where she is. No signs of any amnesia, except for the fact that she doesn't know what today's date is; she still thinks it's November 19th. I explained to her that she was in a coma and told her what injuries she suffered, although I didn't feel it was my place to tell her about the miscarriage."

"Thank you, Doctor. I want to be the one to tell her," Angel said.

"Are there any permanent injuries?" Mrs. Summers wanted to know.

"Buffy has a cut on her cheek, which I believe may leave a scar, but it's nothing a small amount of plastic surgery can't fix. Her ribs and her jaw are healing nicely, and the majority of her cuts and bruises have already healed. I took her for an MRI of her abdominal area, which is why the examination took so long. Buffy complained of some pain and discomfort there. I just got the results back."

"And?"

"She has a tear in her uterine wall, a very large tear."

"What does that mean?" Angel asked.

"There's a chance Buffy may never be able to have children."

********

Angel stepped into the room, seeing Buffy lying in bed, staring at the ceiling. He knocked on the door, announcing his presence.

"Hey, you," she greeted.

"Hi. How do you feel?"

"Like I was run over by a truck. Angel, what happened to me? I don't remember why I'm here."

He sat down in the chair next to her bed, taking her hand in his. "We were patrolling and you got into a fight with my mother. She threw you against the wall of the mausoleum."

"And I've been in here for a month?"

Angel nodded. "Yes."

"What happened to her?"

"Don't worry about it."

"I wanna know."

"She's dead. I killed her that night. She more than deserved it for what she did to us."

"What did she do?"

He couldn't tell her about the baby. Not until she was emotionally stronger. "I'll tell you another time."

"Promise?"

"Promise. I've missed you so much, Buffy. It's been hell without you. I didn't know if I could make it."

"You didn't?"

"No. And it was all my fault. You are here because of me."

She shook her head slowly, still somewhat weak. "Don't say that. It's not your fault. I shouldn't have gone out that night, I didn't feel good. I wasn't at full strength, I remember that. But apparently I fought your mom anyway."

"I couldn't protect you," he said, avoiding her eyes.

"Angel, it's not your job to protect me. But you're not hurt, so I obviously protected you. It was all worth it, then."

"There's a price for everything, Buffy. I couldn't keep you safe and I paid that price."

"Stop blaming yourself. None of this is your fault. I don't blame you; I couldn't blame you. Angel, I love you."

He reached over to kiss her cheek. "I love you, too." Despite her words, he still believed deep down that he was to blame. They lost their baby, he almost lost Buffy, and the chance of ever raising a family with the woman he loved.

********

60

"Mom, can I ask you a question?" Buffy asked five days later, on New Year's Eve.

She'd recovered almost fully from her brush with death. Buffy was still quite sore from her broken ribs, and still complained of abdominal pain. When Mrs. Summers told her what the doctor said about her uterine tear and the possibility of never being able to have children, Buffy took it hard. She cried for an hour, and Angel said that he didn't care if she couldn't have children; all that mattered to him was that she was okay.

"That's not important to me. You are," Angel told her.

Buffy sniffled. "If someone had said this to me a year ago, it wouldn't have made a difference. I didn't think I had a future, much less the chance to have children. But now? I want it, so badly. I have a future and I want children. *Your* children."

It nearly broke his heart. Buffy wanted to raise a family with him, but now, it seemed they'd lost that chance. She was distraught enough; finding out that their child didn't survive her battle with Carolyn might send her over the edge. So, he told her that there were doctors who specialize in infertility, or they could always adopt a child. Then Angel reminded Buffy that Doctor Thomas said it was only a possibility; it wasn't one hundred percent positive that she couldn't have children.

"What is it, honey?" Mrs. Summers asked.

"While I was unconscious, what was it like? How did everyone react?"

She could see what Buffy was getting at. "You mean, did we miss you? Of course we did. You're important to all of us, you know that."

Buffy shook her head. "Like, did you guys continue on with your everyday lives?"

"We were upset, to say the least. Your father stayed in town for a week before he had to go back to work. But he came to visit every weekend. Willow and Cordelia visited as often as they could. I was here everyday after work and Angel was here all day long."

"Oh."

"It was hard for us to concentrate on anything while you were in the coma. You were always first in my thoughts. I spent many sleepless nights worrying about you."

"Were you sad?"

"What do you think? We all were sad, Buffy. You can't possibly think we weren't concerned or worried?"

Buffy shrugged. "I don't know what to think. I just don't if I was always alone or if somebody was here with me the entire time."

"You were never alone. If I wasn't here, Angel was. He never once left you alone when he could be with you. I think he was most upset by your being here. He hardly got any sleep," Mrs. Summers told her.

"I had to tell him to shave. I didn't like his little beard thingy. It tickled me. Was he really here all the time?"

"Yes. The only time he left was to go home and sleep. He felt so guilty for your injuries."

"Why? He didn't do it."

"I know it, you know it, everyone knows it but him. I think a lot of it has to do with your father."

Buffy raised an eyebrow with curiosity. "What happened with Dad?"

Her mother waited a moment before beginning. "He blamed everything on Angel. Said that he pushed you against that building because of an argument you two were having."

"He'd never do that."

"Your father doesn't know how close you and Angel are. He only knows what he believes to be true. And when he found out how badly you were hurt, Hank took his anger out on Angel. I think Angel believed him."

"I'm going to kill Dad next time I see him. Angel's insecure enough as it is, he doesn't need Dad putting things in his head."

Mrs. Summers agreed. "It was wrong of him to do that. He even told me that he doesn't want you seeing Angel anymore."

"What?" Buffy screeched. "Dad can't do that. Doesn't he know how much I love Angel? I would, and will never, break up with him!"

Putting her fingers on her lips, Mrs. Summers said, "Calm down, Buffy. I don't want you to get overexcited. Angel is not going to leave you. Trust me on this."

Buffy nodded. "I guess you're right. He's had plenty of opportunities to leave and he's still around."

"Does that answer all of your questions?"

She smiled. "Almost. But I think Angel's keeping something from me."

`That baby.' "When you are ready, I am sure he will tell you everything."

********

The gang sat around Giles' living room, helping the Watcher reorganize his Watcher Diaries, which had fallen from the bookshelf two days earlier during an earthquake.

"Angel," Willow began. "Are you coming to the Bronze tonight?"

He shook his head. "No, sorry."

"Spending New Year's Eve all by yourself?" Nicole whispered in his ear. She sat next to him on the floor, facing away from the rest of the group. "Because I can always come over and we can start the new millennium with a bang, if you know what I mean."

"No, thank you." He tried hard to be civil to her, but her constant mechanisms to get him into bed with her were beginning to piss him off. How much would it take for her to understand that he was committed to Buffy?

Nicole ran her had across his leg. "I'm sure I could teach you a few things you could pass on to Princess."

"Leave me alone," he hissed under his breath.

Cordelia stood up. "Hey, Nicole, can you help me grab some more books from Giles' office?"

"Sure."

They walked to the back room of the apartment. When they'd entered, Cordelia closed the door behind them. "We need to have a little chat, Nicole."

"Really? About what?" She wasn't intimidated by Cordelia's tone of voice.

"The ethics of boyfriend stealing. Especially when it's one of my best friends' boyfriend."

Nicole shot her a look. "I don't know what you're talking about."

"Give it up. I've seen how you look at Angel, how you leer at him. The way you always find a reason to sit next to him or touch him. I heard what you just said to him, about wanting to ring in the New Year with him. I'm telling you to forget it, girlfriend. Angel's devoted to Buffy and in no way is he going to jeopardize her love for him by having a one-night stand with you."

"Whatever." She made a move to leave.

Cordelia grabbed her by the upper arm. "Consider this a warning. Stay away from Buffy and Angel. Things are hard enough for them without you complicating it."

"Sure," Nicole sneered.

"But, then again, why would he even bother with a ho like you? Buffy's everything you're not. She's beautiful, smart, funny, nice, sweet… and do you know what else she has that you don't?" She didn't wait for a reply. "Angel's love. You'll never get that, no matter what little tricks you pull."

Nicole placed her hands on her hips. "Are you done?"

"Yes."

"Good. Thanks for the warning. But we'll see who wins."

********

Angel knocked lightly on Buffy's door. She looked up from the TV and grinned. "Hi! What are you doing here?"

"I got permission from Doctor Thomas to spend New Year's Eve with you. Is that okay?"

"I was hoping you'd come by. It would have been awful sitting here alone in this bed, ringing in the New Year by myself."

He gave her a soft, loving kiss. "Would never happen. I'll be right here all night."

"Do I get to kiss you at midnight?" she asked hopefully.

"If you want. I wouldn't say no."

They snuggled next to each other in Buffy's bed. He put his arm around her shoulders, holding her as close as he could without disturbing the machines she was connected to. For three hours, they sat in the bed watching the festivities on the television.

At five to midnight, Angel stood up. "Where are you going?" Buffy wanted to know.

"I-I don't know how to start this. I had a whole speech prepared, but now it's gone."

Buffy was confused. "Speech? What?"

He took a deep, nervous breath, trying to think of the right words to say. "I love you so much, Buffy. Before you, I never felt like that. You make me feel like a man, something I never thought I was. And I'm amazed by it, by the fact you love me and you're still with me after all the heartache I've caused you. You could never know who much it means to me.

"Buffy, you are the reason I wake up every morning and go to sleep every night. You're always in my dreams. You're my whole world and everything in it. Nobody can ever make me feel the way you do – loved, complete and worthy. When you're not around, it's like a piece of me is missing. I know that sometimes I do stupid things, but you've always looked past my faults. You see the real me.

"At first, when I met you, what I wanted from you I thought I could never have. I'm the luckiest man in the world because I have that; I have everything I wanted out of life. Only one more thing will make my lifelong dream come true.

"I was going to do this on Christmas, but circumstances beyond my control kept it from happening. This isn't the way I wanted to do this, or the place. It's not exactly romantic, but tonight is, I think, is the perfect night to do it." Angel took the velvet box out of his pocket and opened it. Down on one knee, he held the box out for Buffy to see. "Buffy Anne Summers, will you marry me?"

She couldn't breathe. His proposal came out of the blue, she didn't know what to say. "Y-you want to marry me?" she choked out.

"Yes. More than anything else. I want to wake up next to you every morning for the rest of my life. I want to raise a family with you and grow old with you. What do you say, will you make me the happiest and luckiest man alive by marrying me?"

Tears ran down her cheeks. She was so happy, words couldn't describe it. "Yes! Of course, yes!"

Angel put the two carat diamond ring on her finger, kissed it, then looked her in the eye. "I never thought you'd say yes."

"How could I not?" She wrapped her arms gingerly around his neck, kissing him with all the love she felt for him. In the background, the crowd on the television cheered as the ball dropped, marking the first minute of the new millennium.

********

61

Three days after she got engaged to Angel, Buffy went home. Her accelerated healing abilities left Doctor Thomas amazed. Never in his twenty-five years of being a medical professional had he seen a patient recover so quickly from such serious injuries. On January 3rd, he signed her release papers.

"Good luck," he told her. "If you feel any discomfort, don't hesitate to call."

Buffy smiled. "I won't. Thank you so much, Doctor."

"It was my pleasure. I'll be waiting for my invitation to your wedding."

"You're on the list of guests, I guarantee it."

After shaking his hand, the nurse wheeled Buffy out to the front entrance, where Mrs. Summers was waiting with the Jeep. Carefully, she helped her into the vehicle, and before long, the two women were on their way home.

"I want you to rest, Buffy," Mrs. Summers said.

She sighed. "I've been resting for the past week. Mom, I'm fine."

"No, you're not. You just woke up from a coma over a week ago. You're still weak and need to take it easy. Please don't argue with me, honey. Don't rush to get back to slaying."

"When I'm better, I have to," Buffy informed her mother. "I am the Slayer, it's my job."

"Let Nicole do it. She obviously likes doing her job. You can finally put an end to this madness and live a normal life."

Buffy scoffed. "Is there any such thing as a normal life? There's not."

"Then you'll have as close to a normal life as you can have without the slaying. You can be a normal girl."

"I'm not normal. I'll never be normal."

"Try, at least. None of us want you to get hurt again. You've got a bright future ahead of you. A family that loves you, friends that care about you, and a young man who wants to spend his life with you. Don't you owe it to all those people to stay safe?"

"Fine. I'll try, but I won't promise anything."

Mrs. Summers gave her daughter a smile. "That's all I'm asking."

Angel's convertible, Oz's van and Cordelia's Dodge Cirrus were parked out front when Mrs. Summers and Buffy pulled into their driveway. Buffy beamed. "Everyone's here."

"I hope you don't mind; I invited them over. They were all so excited about you coming home that I thought they should be here for your homecoming."

"Thanks."

The front door opened and everyone came out onto the front porch. Willow held up a sign that read WELCOME HOME BUFFY! Angel made his way down the walk, helping Buffy step out of the car when he reached her. As she stepped out, he slipped her engagement ring back on her finger. She hadn't felt safe wearing it at the hospital for fear of someone stealing it while she slept. So she made Angel keep it until she came home, and then they would tell everyone the good news.

"How are you feeling?" he asked.

"Better, now that I'm home. And even better than better because you're here and your ring is back on my finger."

He returned her smile and wrapped his arm around her waist, helping her walk to the porch. The gang, practically everyone she cared about – Giles, Willow, Oz, Geoffrey, Xander, Cordelia and Nicole – broke out in smiles as they climbed up the steps. Willow was the first to embrace her. In putting her arms around her best friend, Buffy's ring became noticeable to the others.

"Oh my god!" Cordelia exclaimed. "Where on earth did you get that rock?"

Buffy couldn't help but grin as she looked at her diamond ring. "Angel gave it to me."

"That's one heck of a welcome home present," commented Oz.

Buffy and Angel exchanged glances. "Should we tell them?" she asked.

"If you'd like to."

"Okay." She turned to her friends. "Angel asked me to marry him and I said yes."

The stared in surprise for a couple moments before breaking out in congratulations. Willow gave her another hug, Cordelia joined in, sandwiching the engaged Slayer, but they were careful not to put too much pressure on her. Oz, Xander, Geoffrey and Giles congratulated Angel, patting him on the back. With Mrs. Summers already inside preparing for the party, Nicole hung back, watching with disdain.

'I'd better make my move. And fast,' she decided.

********

"Have you guys set a date yet?" Willow wanted to know, once they were all situated inside the house.

Buffy shook her head. "No, not yet. It probably won't be for a few years. We're going to wait until I finish college, but I have a feeling that Angel and I will be moving in together very soon, as long as it's okay with my mom. I don't want to leave her alone."

"You are so lucky," Cordelia told her. "When did he propose? Was it as romantic as you hoped? Did he get down on one knee? Did you say yes right away?"

She laughed softly, careful not to put any unnecessary pressure on her abdomen. "One question at a time, Cordy. It was New Year's Eve and he asked me right before midnight. Maybe it wouldn't have seemed romantic to you, but to me, it couldn't have been more so. Angel stood up just before midnight and started talking about how much he loves me and how much I mean to him. Then he got down on one knee and proposed. Of course I said yes right away."

"Wow," Willow said. "Your ring is so beautiful."

"Yeah," she replied. "Angel doesn't like to do things halfway."

"Apparently not. Geez, rich, handsome, romantic, and utterly devoted to you. Buffy, you've got it made," said Cordelia.

"I'm just lucky, I guess."

Nicole couldn't take it anymore. She couldn't stand the way everyone treated Buffy as if she were some kind of goddess or something. She hated pretending she was glad the Slayer was back, pretending to care about her health when she hoped she'd died in the hospital. Saying a quick goodbye, the new Slayer left the Summers' house.

'God-damned bitch acts like she's the queen of the world. So what if she was in a coma for a month? It's obvious she isn't a very good Slayer if she almost died. And what makes it even worse is the way Angel treats her like she's the most precious thing he's ever seen. The way he looks at her makes me sick. So full of love…he should be looking at me that way, not Buffy. It isn't fair. I'm ten times the woman she is. He will be mine, no matter what it takes.'

********

Everyone left at nine o'clock, leaving only Buffy, Angel and Mrs. Summers at the house. Buffy's mother insisted that they go upstairs while she cleaned up after the party. Angel wanted to help, but she said no, telling him that he needed some time alone with her daughter.

"I think she's ready to hear everything," Mrs. Summers said. "Tell Buffy about the baby."

She was right. Buffy deserved to know, he could no longer keep it a secret from her. Once upstairs in her room, Angel made her sit down on the bed.

"What's wrong, Angel? What's with the dire?" Buffy asked.

He sat next to her, taking her small hands in his. "You don't know everything that happened with my mother."

"Tell me, then."

"It's hard, Buffy, but you need to know, because it affected both of us."

Buffy gave him a curious look. "Why are you being so cryptic? Just tell me. I can handle it."

Angel took a deep breath, dreading what he had to say. "I love you, more because of everything that happened to us, because of everything we lost due to my mother's vengeance."

"Angel?"

"Remember that day? You were sick because of food poisoning?" Buffy nodded. "It wasn't because you ate bad tuna. You were pregnant, Buffy."

She didn't respond right away. She stared into his brown eyes, so full of love, hurt and regret. The sadness in them was apparent to her, but she didn't understand why. "Pregnant? I'm having a baby?"

He shook his head sadly. This was what hurt him the most. "No. The baby…he-he didn't make it. You had a miscarriage." Tears sprung from his eyes.

Buffy's lower lip trembled. Without knowing it, her hand reached to touch her belly, now empty, which at one time carried a helpless baby. A feeling of emptiness came over her. Within moments, tears ran down her cheeks. Angel held her in his arms as he let her cry on his shoulder. Fresh tears of his own fell; they grieved the loss of the child they never knew.

She lifted her head. "I'm so sorry," she apologized through her tears.

"For what? You have nothing to apologize for."

"I can't seem to do anything right. We were going to have a baby. A little baby we made together, you and me. And I lost it. And we can never have another one. All because of me."

"This isn't your fault, Buffy. Your injuries were too severe and our son couldn't make it. That has nothing to do with you."

"Son? We were going to have a boy?" Knowing the sex of their lost baby made it all the more real to her.

"Yes. You were almost three months along, and the doctor said you were going to have a boy."

She began weeping again. "Our son. We'll never get to see him. Would he have looked like you? Would he have you hair and your eyes? Would he be tall like you? We will never know. Never hear his first words; never see him crawl or walk; never see him on his first day of school; never see him in a school play; never see him go on his first date, go to Prom or graduate high school. Or get married or have children. We'll never be grandparents."

"Buffy, we'll be able to do all those things. Maybe we weren't meant to this time, but there will be another time, other opportunities for those dreams to come true."

"No, there won't. We can't have any children. Or, I can't have children, Angel. I want to have your baby. I want it to grow inside me and I've lost my only chance to be the mother of your children."

Angel put his hand underneath her chin, lifting her head up. "You gave me a child, Buffy. And we'll have more, I promise."

"If you don't want to marry me, I'll understand," she said in a small voice.

He kissed her lips, salty from her tears. "Of course I want to marry you. I love you, I don't care if you can't give me children of my own. We'll adopt if we have to. But I'm not going to leave you because of something like that."

"You mean that?"

"I want to spend forever with you; I have since I first saw you. And I knew about all this before I asked you to marry me. If it was a problem or something I couldn't deal with, I wouldn't have proposed. I still want to be with you. Nothing's changed, you're still the woman I love."

They embraced each other, crying until they fell asleep in Buffy's bed. Angel held her all night; he didn't want to let her go, didn't want to lose her as they'd lost their child.

********

62

A week after Buffy's birthday, on January 26th, Mrs. Summers found a letter addressed to Buffy in their mailbox. "Buffy!" she called upstairs to her daughter, who sat in her bedroom. "You have mail!"

Buffy put down her Psychology book. She'd started the second semester of her freshman year a few days before and was already trying to get ahead, considering all the school she'd missed in November and December. In order to receive full credit for those courses she'd missed out on, Buffy had to re-take them.

"Coming!" she said as she made her way down the stairs. It was a month since she'd woken up from her coma, and she still wasn't back to her full strength. Due to her weakened state, Angel and Giles refused to let her patrol. Nicole took over the slaying duties.

Mrs. Summers handed her the letter once Buffy reached her side. "It's from England."

Buffy raised her eyebrows. "I don't know anyone in England." She looked at the return address, recognizing it from an envelope she'd seen on Giles' desk. "It's from the Watcher's Council."

"A birthday card, maybe? They're a little late, your birthday was last week."

She shook her head in disagreement. "I don't think so. The Council has never sent me one before. Why would they start at nineteen? It doesn't make sense."

"Why don't you open it up and find out," suggested her mother.

Buffy tore the envelope open, pulling out the letter inside. As she read it over, she knew that it was not a letter wishing her a Happy Birthday. Far from it, in fact. She read it twice, unable to believe what she was reading.

She could only stare at the letter, not noticing how her hand trembled, causing the letter to fall to the ground. Mrs. Summers picked it up, reading it over. She hugged her daughter, who shook with pure shock. Out of the blue, she'd been fired from her job as Slayer. Her destiny, her calling, had been snatched away without warning.

"Buffy, I wish I knew what to say. I'm sorry."

She looked up at her mother. "They didn't want me anymore. I'm not good enough to be a Slayer."

"Don't say that. Of course you are."

Buffy closed her eyes, pondering her future, now limitless. "What will I do now?"

"This is a blessing, honey. Now you can have a normal life. You can do anything you want."

"I guess. But who am I if I'm not the Slayer?" she asked.

"You're Buffy Summers, daughter, fiancee and friend. You'll be you. Buffy, you are not going to change personally. Maybe you're lifestyle will change, but you will still be the same."

She thought about it for a minute. "You think so? I won't change?"

"No, you won't."

"Thanks." She started back up the stairs.

"Where are you going?"

She stopped. "To call Giles and find out if he knew about this."

In her bedroom, Buffy picked up her telephone and dialed her Watcher. 'Former Watcher. I'm not his Slayer anymore.' He picked up on the second ring.

"Hello?" he answered.

"Giles, it's me. Buffy."

"Buffy, hello. How have you been?"

She sighed. "Peachy. Except for this letter I got from the Watcher's Council today. What's going on? Why am I not the Slayer anymore? Why did they suddenly fire me?"

"I just received a letter myself from them."

"What did it say about me? Did they tell you why?" she wanted to know.

"All it said was that I am to focus my attention on Nicole and that you are no longer the Slayer."

"That's it? No explanation? I've been fighting vampires and demons for four years and now, all of a sudden, I'm a liability? I don't get it. I lose one fight, I lose my baby and I lose my job, too?"

"I wish I knew what to say to you, Buffy, but I don't."

A question entered her mind. "How did they know, Giles?"

"About what?"

"The baby. They said they're upset about the loss of my baby. He'd have been a warrior. How could they have known? I didn't tell them. Did you?"

"No, I didn't. I can only speculate that the Council got a hold of your hospital records. It wouldn't be the first time." Giles paused for a moment. "You have been through a great deal lately, you don't deserve to be treated like this."

"The Council doesn't care about me or my baby. They never did. And they made it crystal clear."

********

"This is a good thing, Buffy," Angel told her later that day.

"How?"

"Now you won't be in danger everyday. I won't have to stay awake all night worrying if you're okay. We can just be a normal couple. We can start planning for the wedding, get stuff ready."

She only looked at him. "You're still part of all that stuff, you're a Watcher."

"I'm not a Watcher twenty four hours a day. My first priority is you. It always will be, no matter what."

Buffy wrapped her arms around him, capturing his lips in a passionate kiss. As his hand ran up her back to the nape of her neck, tangling in her hair, Buffy began to undo the buttons on his shirt. Angel gently pushed her away.

"What is it?" she asked.

"I can't do this."

His words were reminiscent of when he returned from England, and Buffy had wanted to make love to him. He was doing the same thing again – saying no. Only this time, there was no reason to. "Why?"

"Not now."

"That's not a reason, Angel. I want to be with you, I want to take comfort in you. It's been so long since we made love."

"You're not strong enough yet."

"Yes, I am. If I wasn't strong enough, I'd know it. Please."

He shook his head. "No, Buffy," he said forcefully.

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "My being weak isn't the reason, is it?" she demanded. "It's me. You don't want to be with me. I disgust you; repulse you."

Her statement caught him off-guard. "What?"

"I'm not pretty anymore. It's the scar. It makes you sick; I make you sick. Just admit it."

"Do you think I'm that self-centered? The scar isn't bad, Buffy."

"Yeah, right. You can't even look me in the eye when you say that. I'm horribly ugly and you can't bear to touch me because of it."

He hated what she was saying to him, the accusations she threw. "If you think it's so ugly, think you're so ugly, then go to a plastic surgeon. I'll pay for it if it'll make you feel better."

"Now you're telling me to have reconstructive surgery? I thought you loved me!" she shouted.

"I do!"

"No, you loved the old me, the one without the scar on her cheek.You said it yourself, you fell in love with me at first sight. Apparently my looks don't please you now."

Angel growled. It was something he only did when he was angry. "I fell in love with more than just your face. I love your soul. Maybe at first it was your looks, but I love you. All of you."

"If you loved all of me, you'd show me."

"I thought I had."

"Then make love to me. Show me."

"No."

Her face was red with anger. "This is about more than just my scar. You won't sleep with me because you can't stand the fact that it won't be fruitful."

"What are you talking about?"

"Oh, please. No matter how many times we have sex, nothing will ever come out of it. I'll never be able to give you children and you hate me for that," Buffy accused.

"I don't care about that. I don't need children to be happy."

She sneered. "Sure you don't. I never once saw you cry over the loss of our son."

"I cried, Buffy. Everyday."

"And now you're staying with me out of guilt? You got me pregnant and I lost the baby. And the only reason you're still around is because you feel guilty for knocking me up!"

Angel had to hold himself back from slapping her. Her words were so hurtful. "How can you say that?!"

"It's the truth, isn't it? I sure as hell don't hear you denying it."

"Do you want me to deny it?"

"I don't need you to. I know the truth. I see who you really are. You don't care about me, you never did. All I was to you was some girl you got to fall hopelessly in love with you. Someone you could get into bed. Well, congratulations! It worked!" Buffy screamed.

He glared at her, seeing the hatred in her eyes. "I love you. But apparently you're not the girl I thought you were. You're acting like a brat."

"And you are so perfect, right?" she shot back. "Do I need to bring up the fact that you tried to rape me?"

It was like a slap in the face. Her words stung. "That was a low blow."

"What's the matter? The truth hurt? Because it is the truth. You held me to the couch and forced me to have sex with you!"

"You know what really happened. I apologized for my actions and you forgave me."

"What's that saying? Hindsight is twenty-twenty, Angel. You're nothing but a no-good, arrogant, lying rapist. And I want you out of my house; out of my life!"

Angel, so angered by everything she said, didn't object. "That's fine with me. I don't want to be here any more than you want me here. At least I finally got to see your true colors before I married you. Buffy, you really are a spoiled brat. All you ever cared about was yourself. You haven't changed at all from the girl you claim you used to be."

Buffy followed him to the front door. "Angel?" she said as he opened the door.

"What?" he asked, in a softer tone of voice.

She yanked the engagement ring off her finger, putting it in his hand. "You can have this back. I don't want it anymore."

Without a word, he left the house, slamming the door behind him. Buffy stood there for a minute, staring at the door. When she glanced down at her bare ring finger, the realization of what had happened hit her like a ton of bricks. She sank to the ground, crying.

Mrs. Summers, who'd heard the raised voices from outside in the backyard, ran to her daughter's side. "What's wrong, Buffy? Why are you crying?"

She sobbed. "Angel and I had a fight. I told him to leave and he did. We broke up."

Her mother hugged her. "It'll be okay."

"I lost him. He's gone for good this time."

********

63

Buffy stayed in her room for the rest of the night. No matter how many times her mother pleaded with her to come out, she wouldn't. By far, she considered it to be one of the worst days of her life. Not only had she lost her destiny, but she lost the only person who would ever understand her.

"Honey, please, come out!" her mother begged.

"No."

"You need to eat something to keep your strength up."

"I'm not hungry." It was the truth. All she could think about were Angel's words to her. Had she really deserved to be called a spoiled brat? Was it the truth? Thinking about it almost made her sick to her stomach. As did the words she said to him. She never meant them, but she was hurting so much, and wanted him to feel the same way.

Mrs. Summers gave up. Buffy was upset, she understood it. Breaking up with the man you love hurt like nothing that could even be described. She knew, she'd been there. And she wanted to console her daughter, but Buffy would have none of it.

In the solace of her bedroom, Buffy stared at the ceiling. She'd been like that ever since Angel left. She couldn't move, didn't want to move. All she wanted to do was forget that the day had ever happened. Then she would not have received the thoughtless letter from the Watcher's Council and wouldn't have lost her fiancee. She could live without the Council in her life, but could she live without Angel as well?

The local radio station, KSNL, decided to make that night their sappy, depressing love song night. Every song they played reminded her of Angel. This one particularly, made her feel utterly horrible, because it described that day so well. Buffy felt what Mariah Carey was singing. Would they ever be able to forgive each other? Could they work past this stumbling block in their relationship?

Alone. The thought of spending her life alone frightened Buffy. Before Angel came along, she never thought she had a future. Her life revolved around slaying. Even Kevin, her optimistic ex-boyfriend, couldn't make her believe in a normal future. His optimism always reminded her that he could live without the worry of being struck down by a foe, vampire or demon every day. But not her, that wasn't her life. She couldn't live up to his expectations; she couldn't be the happy-go-lucky girlfriend he wanted her to be. Buffy lived every day in fear of what might become of her.

Then Angel stepped into her life. He gave her hope for a future. Slaying didn't have to be her whole life; she didn't have to pretend to be someone she wasn't. With him, Buffy could be herself. Angel understood who she was, her calling, and helped her see that life was worth living. His love and devotion made her believe in the future. And she didn't want any of it without him.

Tears are coming down endlessly \\

Angel sat on his couch, staring with sadness at the ring he held between his thumb and pointer finger. It sparkled in the light, a rainbow of color filling his vision. The ring was exquisite, like the girl whose finger it belonged on. Buffy was the most beautiful person he'd ever met, both inside and out. And he missed her presence.

Geoffrey stepped out of his room. He was dressed for his dinner with Joyce Summers, whom he began seeing three weeks earlier. "Are you okay, Angel? You came home an hour ago and never said anything."

"Everything's all screwed up."

"Why?" He glanced down at the ring. "Isn't that Buffy's engagement ring? Why isn't she wearing it?"

Tears stung Angel's eyes. "Because it's over."

"What do you mean?" Geoffrey asked.

"Just what I said. Buffy and I had a fight and we broke up."

"She gave you back the ring?"

He nodded. "Uh-huh. I finally found out what she really thinks of me. She doesn't care about me at all. And she lied to me."

"About what?"

"She lied about forgiving me," he divulged, wiping his eyes. "Buffy never forgave me for what I did in L.A.. She called me a rapist. I thought she understood, but she didn't. She really does hate me for what I did."

"I'm sure Buffy only said those things in the heat of the moment. Being angry, she did not mean it."

"She meant every word. The things she said, they hurt. Words aren't supposed to be hurtful, but you know what? They are, especially when they come from the person you love the most."

"Why don't you call her and talk about it? You two can work things out," Geoffrey suggested.

Angel disagreed. "She told me to get out of her life and gave me back the ring. I think we're beyond working things out." He stood up, grabbing his leather jacket.

"Where are you going?"

Angel turned to him. "I need to be alone. Clear my head."

********

Angel combed the streets of Sunnydale looking for something to kill. He needed to let his aggressions out, and hoped that staking a few vampires would make him feel a little better. But he knew that no matter how many of them he dusted, he'd never feel better. Nothing would do that until he spoke to Buffy.

He debated calling her when he'd gotten home, but decided against it. They were both so angry before and Angel doubted they'd ever be able to work things out with everything so fresh in their minds. No way was he going to make the first move. He would wait until Buffy called him.

"Well well well. Look who's out," he heard a voice say.

Turning around, he found Nicole standing a few feet away. "Nicole."

"What, no Princess?" she asked sweetly. "I thought you two were attached at the hip these days."

"That's none of your business."

"Aww…did you two have a fight?"

"Just go away. I'm not in the mood," hissed Angel.

She simply smiled. "Perhaps I can get you in the mood." Nicole moved closer to him. "When was the last time Princess gave you any? November? That's an awfully long time to go without."

"Nicole…" he warned. He didn't want to play her games.

"Come on. Right here, I'll be gentle. You can find out what it's like to be with a real woman instead of a girl."

Angel grabbed her by the shoulders, pushing her hard against a brick building. He held her wrists tightly on either side of her, holding her to the wall with her hips. "I thought you liked it rough."

"Whatever. I'll take you any way I can get you."

"Even like this?"

"It's even better like this. Fuck me like the wild stallion Princess says you are. Prove it to me, do it. Right here," Nicole commanded in a deep, sensual voice. She pressed her groin against his to prove her point.

He ground his groin against hers in turn. He used his knees to pry her legs apart, and Nicole began to place wet kisses on his jaw and neck. When he started to unbutton her jeans, she knew she'd finally won. Even if it would only be a one-night stand, Nicole could still rub their tryst in Buffy's face.

As suddenly as he started, Angel stopped undressing her. He hadn't even finished unbuttoning her pants when he pulled his hand away. "What are you doing?" Nicole demanded.

"I don't want you. I never did."

"Yeah, right. That's not what your body tells me."

He looked her dead in the eye. "Buffy and I may have broken up, but you still don't have a chance in hell with me. I wouldn't have sex with you if we were the last two people alive." Angel stalked away toward home.

Nicole slammed her fist against the brick. She'd been so close. 'I'll get him back. And I don't even have to screw him, either. I have all the ammunition I need already. He will never get Buffy back in his life if I have anything to say about it. That'll teach him to mess with me. If I can't have Angel, nobody will. Not even his precious Buffy. He'll pay dearly for what he just did. Nobody rejects me.'

********

64

"I'm leaving," Angel informed Giles two months later, at the beginning of April.

He looked at the young man in surprise. "What? Why?"

"Sunnydale. I can't stay here anymore if I'm not wanted."

"Of course you're wanted here, Angel. What would ever make you think otherwise?"

"It—it's time to move on. There's no need for three Watchers, and two Slayers as well," Angel said. "So, as of tomorrow morning, I'll be leaving for Cleveland."

"Have you told the Council of your decision?" asked Giles. This was the last thing he expected; the last thing he wanted. He thought Angel loved living in Sunnydale.

Angel nodded. "Yes. I called them last week and they were fine with it. Everything's been taken care of."

"How long will you be gone?"

He shrugged. "I don't know if I'll be coming back. I can't stay here any longer. It's time for me to move on."

Giles took a deep breath before asking his next question. "Does Buffy know yet?"

"No," Angel replied quickly. "I wasn't planning on telling her. We're ex, remember?"

"She'll want to know. Buffy cares about you."

"When she told me to get out of her life, she meant it. And now I am."

He understood the reason for Angel's desire for relocation. "You're leaving because of her, aren't you?"

"That's part of the reason, yes. I just can't stay here anymore. You can't talk me out of it, Giles. Geoffrey already tried and failed."

"Have you thought about working things out with Buffy? Talking to her at least? You don't need to move because you two broke up."

Angel shook his head. "I've called and I've talked to Joyce, but Buffy's either not there or doesn't want to talk. We said things to each other that we probably shouldn't have said. Neither of us have taken those things back. It's over between us. Apparently we never really knew each other. Maybe it's better this way. We could have made a huge mistake."

"She will be heartbroken if you leave without telling her," Giles said.

Angel frowned. "She probably won't know the difference. Buffy's seeing someone. I'm just a memory to her."

"Don't think that, Angel."

"It's the truth. Look, I have a lot of things to do before tomorrow, not to mention that I haven't started packing yet. I should get going."

"Will you keep in touch?"

Nodding his head, Angel gave his mentor one last hug. "I'll call and check up on things. Take care, Giles."

"You, too. Have a safe trip."

********

"He's what?!" exclaimed Mrs. Summers.

"Leaving Sunnydale," repeated Geoffrey.

They sat at the kitchen table in Angel's apartment. Technically, it was Geoffrey's apartment now; Angel signed it over to his mother's Watcher a few days earlier. With him leaving for Ohio, he had no need for it.

"Why is he doing that?"

Geoffrey laughed shortly. "Take a guess, Joyce."

"Buffy. Dammit, she's being so stubborn. I keep telling her to talk to him when he calls, but she always refuses. Despite that, she's miserable without him. The guy she's going out with now, Riley, he doesn't make her happy. I see the twinkle in her eye whenever I mention Angel's name. But she doesn't react at all when I bring up Riley. Buffy's still in love with Angel."

"He loves her, too. Both of them are too pig-headed to make the first move. And he's about to leave, possibly forever," Geoffrey said.

Mrs. Summers shook her head. "If Angel leaves, it'll kill Buffy. I know it will."

"They have to work things out on their own. We cannot force them to get back together."

"Yeah, I know. But come tomorrow, they might lose that chance."

"That all depends on them. If they're destined to be together, it'll happen. Maybe Angel has to leave for them to grow closer. Absence makes the heart grow fonder."

"I don't want to see my baby hurt."

Geoffrey put his arm around her. "Neither do I. But we can't do anything about it. This is up to Buffy and Angel to work out."

********

Buffy ran downstairs when the doorbell rang. She'd been in her room trying to decide what to wear to the Bronze. Willow had invited her and Riley for a night out. Since the Dingoes were playing, Buffy figured her friend wanted them to keep her company.

When she opened the door, she saw Nicole standing on the other side. "Hi, Nicole. What's up?"

"Giles said you wanted to borrow a book on demonic possessions," the younger Slayer said.

Buffy shook her head. "No, sorry. I'm done with the whole slaying thing. Don't want anything to do with it. It's your gig now."

"My mistake then. I could have sworn he said you wanted it. Oh well. How are you doing?"

"I'm okay."

"Just okay?"

"Not bad, not great."

Nicole faintly smiled. "Still upset about breaking up with Angel?"

Buffy narrowed her eyes. "How do you know about it?"

"He told me."

"Why would he tell you? I got the impression he didn't like you."

"I must say, he's quite a catch. How could you ever let that man go? Angel's outstanding."

"What exactly do you mean by that?" demanded Buffy.

Nicole sighed dreamily. "That body…the things he can do with it…the things he makes me feel. He's one of the best lovers I've ever had, and that's saying a lot. How could you let him go? You were so lucky."

Her lower lip trembled slightly. "You—you slept with Angel?" The thought of it nearly sent her into tears.

"Have been, off and on since the beginning of December."

Buffy shook her head once again. "No. He couldn't have. I was in the hospital; Mom said he was there every day during visiting hours. It's not possible."

"Ever wonder what he did when he got home? Let's just say he didn't sit around in front of the television watching 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire,'" insinuated Nicole. "He was with me. Every night. See, you couldn't provide him with what he needed, so I was more than willing to help him out with it."

"No," Buffy said again. "You're lying."

"Am I? Do you want me to tell you all about the birthmark on the inside of his right thigh? It's a strawberry mark. How many people would actually know about that?"

'She's not lying to me. Angel never tells anyone about that, she'd have had to have seen it. She really did sleep with him.' "You really had sex with him." Buffy bit her lip.

"Yep. Did you know he's ticklish on the back of his neck? And he had quite a bit to say about you. Angel kept telling me how great it felt to make love to someone who knows what they're doing. I know just what he likes. He laughed at your inexperience; said you wouldn't know how to please him if you tried and practiced for years."

"Angel wouldn't say those things. He loves me," Buffy said, her voice wavering. 'Even if we did break up, I know that.'

"Wouldn't he? Face it, Buffy, you weren't even a good lay to him. He only stayed with you in hopes you'd actually get better at it. And when you didn't, he turned to me. Not that I'm complaining."

Buffy slammed the door in Nicole's face. It hurt to know that her worst fears were true. The things she only shared with her diary were the truth.

********

Angel walked up to Willow at the Bronze. He wanted to say good-bye to the redhead before he left. She sat alone at a table in the center of the club, sipping her soda. Among the crowded dance floor, he spotted Buffy and Riley swaying to the rhythm of a ballad. It was the first time he'd seen her since the day of their breakup. And it would probably be the last time he laid eyes on her ever again.

He tapped Willow on the shoulder. "Hi, Willow."

She turned. "Oh, hi, Angel," she greeted, genuinely happy to see him. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you in a long time."

"I came to say good-bye."

"Huh?"

Angel fidgeted. "I decided to leave Sunnydale."

"When?"

"Tomorrow morning," he answered. "But I couldn't leave without saying good-bye to you. Willow, you've been a great friend to me."

"But you can't go!"

Angel nodded. "I have to. There's nothing keeping me here."

"What about Buffy?"

He shrugged his shoulders. "What about her? I wish things could have gone differently between us, but I can't change the past. It's time to put this all behind me and forget. Move on with my life."

"Angel, don't go."

"Sorry, Willow. I have to."

"At least tell her you're leaving," she begged him.

"Buffy has a new life now. She doesn't care about me and won't care that I'm leaving. But tell her I said good-bye. I'll write to you soon and let you know how I am."

Willow watched as he left. She couldn't believe he was just giving up. Isn't love worth fighting for anymore? She had to tell Buffy; if anyone could talk Angel into staying, she could.

Fifteen minutes later, Buffy and Riley approached the table. "Hey, Will. We're gonna get going. I'll see you tomorrow."

"Buffy, I need to talk to you," Willow told her urgently.

"I gotta go, Riley and I have big plans tonight. We'll talk in the morning, I promise. Bye!" Buffy said. She and Riley walked out of the club.

"Buffy!" Willow shouted. But Buffy never heard her.

********

"Where do you want to go?" Riley asked.

Buffy smiled at him. "How about your dorm room? Will your roommates be there?"

"No, they're at a party. They probably won't be back until the morning."

"Good. 'Cause I want you, Riley."

"You do?"

She nodded. "Yeah. I want to spend the night with you."

On their way to his dorm, Buffy thought about what Nicole told her that afternoon. Angel moved on; found someone else to give him what he wanted. And if he could do it, so could she.

********

{{{ Denotes dream sequence }}}

65

Buffy's eyes shot open, the images of her dream flashing before her eyes. It was almost as if she'd glanced into the future, seeing that she wasn't a part of the life of her son. Or Angel's. It would be a sad, desolate existence if they weren't with her.

The room around her looked unfamiliar. Nothing was recognizable to her. Posters on the walls, a basketball net hanging on the back of the door, and the bed on the other side of the room confused her. The arms that held her weren't the ones she was used to. When she started to pull away, they held her tighter.

"Let me go," she said in a shaky voice.

"Buffy, why?"

She turned her head, her gaze falling on a content, smiling Riley. It all came back to her right then. Leaving the Bronze, coming to his dorm room, kissing him, letting him touch her in places only one man had ever touched before. She remembered wishing it was Angel she was with and recalled Riley telling her that he loved her. Buffy wanted out of his embrace.

"Just let me go. Please."

Riley obliged. "Is something wrong?"

"It's not you."

"This doesn't sound good."

"We – I made a mistake coming here. This – all of it – was wrong. I don't love you, Riley, I never did. And we never should have done what we did."

He disagreed with her. "It was wonderful, Buffy, it couldn't be wrong. And I know you don't love me yet, but that'll change. Just give it time."

"My heart belongs to someone else," she choked out. "I'm sorry."

"I don't understand."

With a sheet wrapped around her naked body, Buffy climbed out of his bed. She grabbed her clothes and began to dress herself. On her way out the door, she said, "I hope you can forgive me."

********

The knocking on his door awakened Angel. He wanted to get a good night's sleep before leaving in the morning. It was one in the morning, and he was leaving for Ohio at eight. Everything was packed and ready to go. Padding through the living room in a pair of gray sweatpants, he answered the door before it woke Geoffrey.

He was more than a little surprised to find Buffy on the other side. "Buffy," he greeted simply.

"I'm sorry for coming by so late."

"It's okay. What can I do for you?" Angel asked.

'He's being so formal, like he doesn't want me here. Not that I blame him any. Maybe he doesn't.' "I – I had a dream tonight. About our son."

"Okay…" He didn't quite know why that warranted a visit after two months of not seeing each other.

Buffy swallowed hard. "I want to see Gregory, Angel. I need to talk to him. Can you take me there?"

"To the grave?"

She nodded. "Yes."

"Fine. Just wait a minute while I get changed," Angel told her.

********

"Which one is it?" Buffy asked when they reached the cemetery.

"Back row. White marble cross headstone. Has his name on it," Angel answered.

She started off alone, expecting Angel to follow, but he didn't. He figured it was something Buffy needed to do on her own. Last night he visited the grave, saying goodbye to the son he would never know.

Buffy found it with ease. She read the inscription on the headstone. GREGORY REILLY NEVER SEEN BUT LOVED NONETHELESS. "Gregory Reilly," she said with tears burning her eyes, a lump forming in her throat. "Angel wanted you to have his name; wanted you to be his son. We would have been a family, the three of us.

"I wish I could have known you. It would have been an honor to give birth to you. In fact, you'd be due next month. Maybe your dad and I would be married if I hadn't gone in the hospital. I'm so sorry for losing you, Gregory. I might not have been the best mother to you, but I would have loved you more than anyone.

"Your mom did a stupid thing. She told your dad to get out of her life. I love him, but I'm sure you know that. You would never have been conceived if I didn't love Angel. Tell Mommy what to do about this stupid thing she did. Can I make it up to him and to you? Can we still be a family?"

Angel watched from the car as Buffy walked back. He noticed the streaks on her cheeks from the tears she shed. Silently, she climbed back in the car.

"Ready?" he asked.

"Yeah." She paused for several seconds. "Angel, can we talk?"

"Do you want to go back to the apartment?"

She nodded. "If you don't mind."

********

He held the door open for her as she entered the apartment. Buffy waited on the couch while he poured them each a glass of water.

"What do you want to talk about?" Angel wanted to know.

For the first time, Buffy saw the boxes in the corner of the room. "What's with the boxes? Is Geoffrey leaving?"

Angel shook his head. "No, I am."

"What?"

"I'm moving to Cleveland to continue my work studying the Hellmouth."

Buffy's eyes met his. "I thought you liked it here. I thought you were going to study here and be close to Geoffrey and the rest of us."

"I do like it here, but I can't stay here. It's too hard being here; knowing you are somewhere close by and I can't be there with you. It'll be easier if I'm away. Maybe I'll be able to forget about you and how much I miss you if I'm three thousand miles away," he answered.

"So you're just going to leave? Without even telling me? Don't you think I deserve to know about that?"

"I didn't think you'd care."

She frowned. "Will Nicole be going with you?" she questioned sharply.

Angel cocked his eyebrows up. He didn't understand why she asked that. "Why would Nicole be going with me?"

"Isn't she your…god, I don't know what to call it. Your lover? My replacement?"

He nearly choked on his water. "Nicole? My lover? Where would you ever get a crazy idea like that?"

"From her. She told me yesterday," Buffy informed him.

"She's lying. Ever since you went into the hospital, she's been coming on to me. Making insinuations, saying nasty things about you, one night she even came to my apartment and started undressing me while I was passed out drunk. But I would never have had sex with her. Buffy, you are the only person I've been with in that way."

"But she knows things about you; private things. She knows about your birthmark. How could she know about it if she's never seen it? And what you like. That you're ticklish on the back of your neck. How does she know all that? And Nicole also told me what you said about me. Am I really that bad? I don't make you feel things when we're together? Angel, I've tried so hard to…to pleasure you in bed. Maybe I'm not the world's greatest lover, but did you have to tell her that?"

"I never told her anything like that, I *wouldn't* tell her anything like that. You are the only woman I have ever made love to. Buffy, she read your diary," he explained. "Your mother invited her over for Christmas and she read it then. Nicole teased me about what you wrote about us. She knew about your insecurities. Let me tell you, you have nothing to worry about. I could have sex with a million women and none of them would be able to hold a candle to you. You've soured me for anyone else. I've never been unfaithful to you, even after we broke up."

"Oh god. I thought you'd moved on with Nicole and I…"

"You what?"

She bit her lip. "I had sex with Riley."

Angel shifted his gaze to the floor, unable to make eye contact with her. "Oh."

"It only happened once and I thought about you the entire time. I wanted him to be you. I can understand if you hate me because of that."

He shook his head. "Nothing you can do will ever make me hate you. We broke up, you moved on. Deep down, I expected it to happen."

"Riley never meant anything to me. You're the only man I ever loved. And I still love you. I didn't mean what I said to you, Angel. I was upset. You're not a rapist, or a horrible person, and I never wanted to lose you," she cried.

"We both said things we didn't mean. They can't be taken back. What's done is done."

"I know that. But I still want you in my life. Please, don't leave me. We'll work things out," she pleaded with him.

"I have to leave, Buffy."

"I love you!"

Angel touched his finger to the dull red of her scar, tracing it lightly with his fingertip. "I love you, too. But I don't know you. I thought I did, but I guess I don't."

"Yes, you do."

"No. We can't go back to the way things were before this happened. I can't just give you the engagement ring back and pretend the past two months didn't happen. I want you to be part of my life, but not like that."

"What, then? How?"

He sighed. "I'm still going to leave in the morning. But I want to leave knowing I can come back and have your friendship. If we're meant to be together, it will happen eventually. For now, though, I only want to be your friend," Angel said.

"That's it?" Buffy asked. "We'll just be friends?"

"Yes."

She smiled through her tears. "Friends it is."

********

66

May 3, 2005

Buffy paced back and forth in the room at the back of the church. She kept glancing at herself in the mirror to see her reflection. It worried her that she might have a hair out of place. She wanted to look perfect.

Cordelia stood behind her with a smile on her face. "Would you calm down before you give yourself a heart attack? You look fine; wonderful even. The picture perfect bride." She checked in the mirror to adjust the straps of her royal blue bridesmaid gown. "I'll deny it later, but you look better than me. You look beautiful, Buffy. Angel's gonna go nuts when he sees you."

Nerves caused Buffy to gasp for breath. "I'm so nervous. And I never get nervous."

"One would sort of expect it, you are getting married today, after all," her friend reminded her.

"I wonder what Angel's doing right now," Buffy said.

"Probably the same thing you're doing. You've got twenty minutes before the ceremony starts, so sit down before you give me a headache."

Buffy's mother entered the room. Three years earlier, she and Geoffrey got married, precipitating Buffy and Angel's reunion. Her breath caught when her eyes fell upon the bride. "Honey, you're a vision."

"You're not lying to me, are you?" Buffy asked.

"No, of course not. I've never seen a more beautiful bride. You certainly outshine me on my wedding day."

Buffy gave a modest smile. "Thanks for lying to me. Have you seen Angel?"

Mrs. Summers nodded. "Yes, I did. He's just as nervous as you are. You'd never know by the way he's acting that he's a thirty-three year old man. You would think he was a teenage boy getting ready for his first date. And despite his nervousness, Angel looks very handsome. Like he always does."

"I'm so lucky to have him."

"You're both lucky."

"How long `til the ceremony starts?" she asked.

"Your father's coming to get you in fifteen minutes."

********

"What time is it?" Angel demanded to know. The wait was killing him. All he wanted to do was run to the altar of the church and watch his bride walk down the aisle to him. He couldn't wait until Buffy became his wife.

Oz glared at him. "Two minutes after the last time you asked. You know, asking me that question isn't going to make the time go by any faster."

Angel shook his head, then ran a hand through his hair. Thinking he might have done some serious damage to his perfectly coifed spikes, he ran to the mirror. Finding several hairs out of place, Angel reached for his hair gel.

Xander laughed at the nervous groom. "Well, I never thought I'd live to see the day where you were actually worried about your appearance," he quipped.

"If I wasn't about to have an anxiety attack, I'd rip your throat out and wear it as a necklace," Angel threatened.

"Chill out, Angel. It was a joke." He wanted to loosen the groom up. Angel was wound tighter than he'd ever seen him.

"I don't think he's in a joking mood," Geoffrey stated.

Angel patted his jacket. "Oh no."

"Now what?" Oz wanted to know. He seriously felt bad for Angel. He could only imagine what he was going through at the moment. How his nerves must be jumbled up. Oz wondered how fast his heart was beating because of it.

"The ring. What did I do with the ring?" Angel ran around the room in search of it.

"Angel, I've got it," Geoffrey said, showing him the ring. "And would you kindly sit down before you make me dizzy?"

Angel grimaced. "Sorry, Geoffrey. I'm just so nervous."

"It will get better once you see Buffy. I know what you are going through; the same thing happened to me when I married Joyce."

"I remember."

Geoffrey looked at his watch. "It's time."

********

"Are you ready, honey?" Mr. Summers asked his daughter.

Buffy nodded. "Yes, Daddy." She linked her arm through his as the music started. He guided her slowly down the aisle to her awaiting groom.

From the altar, Angel stared in awe at his bride. She looked radiant. Her dress was simple, without the usual lace and bows adorning it. It had a sweetheart neckline and the skirt filled out to the floor, a six-foot train trailing behind it. When he saw her, he saw an angel. His angel.

After what seemed like ages, they reached the altar. Buffy could see the tears in Angel's eyes, and the love in them as well. She had never seen him look so handsome in the six years they'd known each other. Not on their first date, her Prom, his high school reunion or at her mother's and Geoffrey's wedding had he looked so dapper. "I love you," she mouthed to him.

"Who gives this woman to marry this man?" the minister implored.

"Her mother and I do," Mr. Summers told him. He lifted Buffy's veil to give her a kiss on the cheek. "I love you, sweetie."

Buffy smiled at her father. "I love you too, Dad."

Angel walked to her side, then guided her to the altar where he'd previously been standing. The ceremony began.

Seated next to her ex-husband, Buffy's mother was too busy crying to hear what the minister was saying. "Our baby's getting married."

"I know. It's hard for me, too. He better take care of her," Mr. Summers said.

"Angel makes her happy."

Angel couldn't keep his eyes off Buffy. It still astounded him that he was there, getting married to the woman he loved with all his heart. `Buffy, you are so amazing. I'm so lucky to have you in my life.' After all he'd put her through, she stood to his left, beaming up at him, showing she didn't regret her decision to spend her life with him.

"Buffy and Angel have chosen to write their own vows to each other," the minister told the congregation. "Angel?"

He turned to the left, clasping her small, warm hands in his. The touch left his body with a tingle of warmth like he'd never known. It was as if her love poured into him, mixing with his love for her and making it stronger.

"Buffy, words will never be able to express what I feel for you. From the very moment I saw you, I loved you. You filled my mind, soul and heart like nothing or no one before. The sound of your voice is music to my ears, your touch is the cure to all that ails me. Without you, it's like a piece of me is missing. You, Buffy Summers, are the only person who can make me feel complete.

"Before I met you, I was a mere shell of a man, wandering this earth, destined to roam without rhyme or reason. And when you walked into the Sunnydale High Library exactly six years ago today, my wandering days came to an end. I fell in love with you immediately. I was drawn to you, to your beauty, to your personality, to your soul. I wanted so badly to be worthy of you, become someone you could love and trust without worry. I tried so hard to be worthy of you – the beautiful angel I had only dreamed of.

"Since our first meeting that day, I've done my best to be the man you deserve. But I'll never live up to that. There are things that I've done that shame me; things I've said that I didn't mean. It is those words and those acts that I pledge never to repeat.

"Buffy, with this ring, I swear never to hurt you. You'll never need or want for anything, and you'll be loved for as long as I am alive." Angel took the ring from Geoffrey and placed it on Buffy's finger. "I solemnly swear that I, Angel Patrick Reilly, will love you forever."

His words made Buffy's heart melt. Never in her twenty-four years did she ever expect to have such an impact on someone. She knew the words came from his heart and his soul, and it made her green eyes tear up. She sniffled. "I forgot everything I was going to say now. Nothing I can say will ever be as beautiful as that. Angel, no man has ever made me feel the way you do. I can be myself around you, I don't have to hide behind this image everyone has of me. You know the real me, the person that I really am. The walls around me crumble when you come near. The only thing I see of my future is you.

"You're my best friend, my lover, my confidante, my true love. People say we're too different; that I'm too young to know what love is. I never expected to fall in love with you. And I don't regret doing that. Not for one second.

"Nothing you can do or say will ever change how I feel. My heart beats for you; I love you with all that I am and all I will be. I don't guarantee I'll be the perfect wife or that I will understand everything you go through. But I'll always be here for you. I will be the shoulder you cry on, the person who will forgive you everything, the person you can share anything with. Angel, you are my life."

She took her ring from Willow and placed it on Angel's finger. "With this ring, I pledge to you my friendship, my love and my life. I, Buffy Anne Summers, give myself to you."

No words ever meant so much to Angel as the ones Buffy had just said. He never believed anyone was capable of loving him that much. When things got to be more than he could handle, he'd only need to remember her vows to know that everything would be okay.

The minister continued on with the ceremony. Buffy and Angel hardly heard a word he said. They stole sidelong glances at each other, showing the love they felt through those stolen looks. After what seems like an eternity, he ended the ceremony. "By the power vested in my by God and the state of California, I now pronounce you man and wife. You may kiss the bride."

Angel lifted the veil from Buffy's face. He stared into her eyes for a few moments, silently telling her how much she meant to him, how much her love meant to him. Finally, he brought his lips to her in a tender kiss that bound their union.

********

"Do you like the room?" Angel asked his wife when they entered the hotel room he booked for them in Hawaii.

She stood on her tiptoes to kiss him. "You booked us the honeymoon suite. Of course I love it. It's so perfect."

"Nothing but the best for you. But I'm still in shock."

"Why?"

"I'm here with you, Buffy. We're married and we're on our honeymoon. We'll be together for the rest of our lives. It's the last thing I ever expected."

Buffy grinned at him. "It's all I've wanted since I realized how much I love you. Angel, I'm going to do my best to make you happy."

"You've already made me the happiest man alive because you married me." He reached into his suitcase, handing her a gift-wrapped box from inside.

"Here, open it."

"What is it?"

"Your wedding present from me. I hope you like it."

Buffy opened it as if it would break in her hands, afraid to tear the paper. Her eyes sparkled with glee upon seeing Angel's gift to her. "Angel, it's lovely."

"It's a claddagh ring. It belonged to my grandmother, she saved it for me in a safety deposit box before she died. She wanted me to give it to my wife. The claddagh is an Irish wedding band. The hands represent friendship, the crown loyalty, and the heart represents love. Wear it with the heart facing in, it means you belong to someone. You belong to me."

Her lower lips trembled. "That's beautiful." Reaching into her own suitcase, she pulled out a gift for him. "This is yours."

Angel put the card to the side, opening the present first. It was a silver spoon and a toy rattle. "Okay, I'm lost. What am I missing?"

"Read the card," Buffy instructed.

He ripped open the envelope, removing the card. The outside read CONGRATULATIONS. Flipping the page, the inside read DADDY. His eyes widened. "Buffy…does this mean…?"

She nodded. "I'm having a baby. *We're* having a baby."

"When?"

"I went to the doctor yesterday. I'm due in November."

It was a miracle. Angel wrapped her in his arms, raining kisses all over her face. Buffy's fingers began pulling at the hem of his shirt.

"Maybe we shouldn't," he said.

"This is our honeymoon and I want to make love to my husband," Buffy told him.

"It might not be a good idea. What if something happens to the baby?"

Buffy placed her pointer finger on his lips to silence him. "I asked Doctor Price and she said there's no problem. We won't hurt the baby."

"Still…"

"Angel, shut up and kiss me."

He did as she asked. They made love for the first time as man and wife.

THE END