One day, 3 natives went into the jungle to hunt for wild boar. Unfortunately, they met a big and hungry bear. The bear said to them "I want to kill and eat you all". The natives were terrified and pleaded for mercy. The bear finally relented and said " Alright, I’ll let you go but first, each of you must find 10 round objects of any kind from this jungle and bring it to me". The natives were relieved and set out to find those "10 round objects". The first native wearily sought and sought but was finally rewarded by 10 rambutans which he gladly brought back to the bear. Laying the fruits at the bear’s feet, the bear suddenly said " Take these 10 round fruits and shove it up your ass. Your facial expression must not change for I’ll rip you apart and devour slowly". The native reluctantly pushed each one up. When he pushed the 4th rambutan up, he burst into tears. The bear killed and ate him.
The second native returned later but he brought 10 groundnuts instead. The bear told him the same conditions and he set out to do the same task. He easily inserted the nuts up his asshole. However, when he inserted the 8th nut, he suddenly laughed so the bear killed him too.
In heaven, the first native met the second native and asked him why he laughed for he was so close from being escaping for the nuts were very small compared to his rambutans. The second native said " I was happily pushing them in for it was too easy for me. Hahaha… I laughed because… I saw our dear friend bringing 10…..10…..durians with :
Lawrence’s Law (Hukum Lawrence)
Statement 1 : Knowledge is Power
Statement 2 : Time is Money
According to the laws of Physics,
Power = Work / Time
Through simple deduction:
Knowledge = Work / Time
If you mathematically work it out,
Money = Work / Knowledge
If knowledge is zero that is: Money = Work / 0
Your money would be infinite !!!
If you are stupid, you are rich !!!
Dirty Joke #1
One day, 1 worker in the construction area was working on the 5th floor. He needed a hand saw. He called a worker below and pointed to his eye (for ‘I’) then pointed to his knee (for ‘need’) followed by a hand in sawing motion (that means ‘hand saw’). The worker below saw him and dropped his tools then started to masturbate. The worker above was astonished and hurried downstairs to get an explanation. When asked, the worker below said: "Whatlah you, I was trying to say ‘I’m cumming’ !".
Dirty Joke #2
One day, an old woman went to the river to bathe clad in nothing but sarong. Before getting into the water, she threw the sarong aside. Two ants went into the sarong and stayed there. After taking her bath, the old woman draped the sarong around her and went back home.
Ant #1 said to Ant #2: "Look ! There is a cave with black grass at its mouth. Let's go inside to sleep for the night". Ant #2 agreed.
Inside, Ant #2 said he didn't like the smell thus he decided to sleep outside while Ant #1 remained inside the cave.
The following morning, both ants woke up and found each other looking weary. Ant #1 asked Ant #2 why he looked so tired. Ant #2 replied "Last night, I couldn't sleep because two big rocks were flying around. I had to run now and then".
Ant #1 did not look surprised, he said: "I even worse, there was some dragon moving in and out of the cave, spitting some white goo !"
