Rant 1: Sleeping Monkeys! Tony: ..... Tifa: ..... Tai: ..... Mike: ..... Storm: ..... Jon: ..... Kayu: ... Monkey! Tony: Oh stop with the monkey! Mike: Yeah, it's just stupid! Kayu: Like you guys had something else to say. We have to rant! You know what the author will do if we don't rant! Jon: Saying monkey isn't ranting. Tai: Come on. If she wants to say monkey, let her say it. Storm: Shut up, Tai! Kayu: *hugs Tai* And you guys wonder why you can't get girls! Mike: ... Storm: ... Jon: ... Tony: ... Tifa: She's right ya know. Sometimes (actually most of the time) you just have to accept what a girl does and says. Tony: But then why are you my girl friend? Cloud: Because she's my girl friend! Tony: What?! No she's not! And that answer didn't even make sense! And why are you here?! Cloud: Yes she is! Who cares about sense! And the author sent me to liven thing up here. Author said it was boring. Tifa: Cloud, I said it was over! Ever since you slept with Yuffie! Now leave! Cloud: Yuffie forced me to and I was high on Pine Sol! Come on! Tifa: NO! You promised me you wouldn't get high on Pine Sol, and you did, and look what happened! Cloud: But... but... Tifa: LEAVE! Cloud: *cries* I'll be back! *runs away* Jon, Storm, Kayu, and Tai: ..... right... Mike: See! I'm not the only one who gets high on Pine Sol! Tony: Tifa. Did you and him ever... sleep together? Tifa: No. Once I say how small 'it' was I didn't feel like it. Tony: Is that all that matters to you? The size? Tifa: ...... No! *looks around nervously* Mike: Hehehe! You and Tony should know how big Tony's is. Tifa: What's that supposed to mean?! Mike: You know what I mean. Tony: No, Mike. What DO you mean? Mike: You people are so dense! You guys slept together many times before! Tony and Tifa: WHAT?! Tai: Mike shut up! You don't know what you're talking about! Kayu: Yeah, Mike. You're such a dumb ass. Mike: But I have pictures! Storm and Jon: LET ME SEE! Mike: *shows pictures* Jon and Storm: *noses bleed* Whoa! Jon: This is hard-core! Storm: I-I'll be right back! *goes upstairs* *returns* Okay! Got rid of those urges! Mike: SEE! You two did do the horizontal mambo! Mwahahahaha!!!! Tony: If you don't shut up you won't have the equipment to do the 'horizontal mambo'! Mike: *shuts up* Tifa: Give those to me! NOW! Jon: But I'm not done! *runs away from Tifa* Kayu: *sticks out foot* Jon: *trips* Tifa: *attacks Jon* Tony: Mike where did you get those pictures?! Mike: I took them when we were at our old house. You guys were so loud I easily snuck in and took the pics. Kayu: You pervert. *goes to play PS2* Tai: Yeah. *joins Kayu* Mike: It's okay you two! Sex is just a part of the cycle of life, and you two have been going out for so long, you were way over do. Tony: But we didn't have sex! We haven't even slept together! Mike: Are you saying you aren't a man?! Tony: Mike, you don't even have a girl friend, let alone sex. Are YOU a man?! Mike: .... I have my dreams! *thinks about Rikku* *drools* Tifa: *rips up pictures* Mike, for the last time, WE DIDN"T HAVE SEX! Mike: Well, the pictures 'didn't' lie! So- Squall and Rinoa: *break through ceiling* Storm: The hell? Squall: There he is! *points to Mike* Rinoa: You pervert! Kayu and Tai from afar: SEE! *continue playing* Mike: W-What? Squall: You took pictures of us while we were physically expressing out love for each other! Mike: I did what? Tony: Mike, don't you remember when we let Squall and Rinoa sleep over because their car broke down and I let them have my room? I slept downstairs! You took pictures of them having sex you idiot! Mike: I didn't know that! Tifa: You were high on Pine Sol that day, remember?! Mike: No! Squall: Now you will pay for your idiotic actions! Rinoa: DIE! Mike: AHHHHH!!!!! *runs away* Kayu and Tai: *walk back over* Kayu: So kiddies and paranoid animals, what's the moral of today's rant? Squall: Don't have sex at other people houses. Tony: Wear condoms during sex. Tai: Don't butt into other people's business. Storm: Well, we didn't talk about condoms, but all are still true. Kayu: Yeah. Tifa: So that's it for this rant, right? Jon: *rubs head* That's up to author. Tony: Okay.... .... .... .... .... Is it over yet? Tai: Why did you talk?! Now we have to start over being quiet! Kayu: I don't think that's how you end a rant anyway. Tifa: Then how!? Kayu: I don't know. Tai: Me neither. Tony: I don't. Storm: Not me. Jon: I do- Tifa: I wonder how... Hm... Jon: But I- Tony: Maybe we should ask author? Jon: I- Tai: How do we talk to author? Jon: I KNOW HOW TO END THIS FREAKEN RANT! Kayu: Okay. How? Jon: By saying... The End Hey it worked!