Sample FAKE TAB REGISTRATION FORMS
What is your name? I go by many names... well, no not really, I just wanted teh
spooky... Tis HANZ stalker queen of the seventh sun. Wait a minute...
What is your address? OOOOH are you gonna send Jehovahs witness's to my house? I
loved them gooood... but not Mormans, thems is a scary bunch. Hamsters you know,
all of them.
How old are you? Depends - if you're the police then I'm perfectly legal to be
driving... My ID? Um, uh... LOOKOVERTHERE!
What is your planet of origin? Hmmmm, they tell me it's Earth, but I've never even heard of
Earth... I think I come from that big green and blue one, what's the name, uh...
MARS! That's it!
What is your species? My psyhchiatrist asks me the same question! Are you related?
What is your blood type? Purple
Are you an organ donar? I don't think I am... but then I DID wonder where my other arm went
last week...
Are you a convicted felon? *Shifty eyes* Not on this planet.
Have you ever commited a felony and were just never caught? Haven't we all? We haven't..? Oops. Well, it's not my fault! That
pedestrian had it coming - they were all over the pavement!
What is your Mother's maiden name? I dunno - I don't think I ever met her, unless she was that woman
who kept showing up all through my childhood... But I thought that was the FBI
agent they sent to watch me in case the aliens came back... I did wonder why
they wore a dress though.
What is you Father's maiden name? Did I ever tell ya about the time I got stoned that one night and
woke up in this spaceship I'd never seen before? No I'd never heard about it
before either... whoever's telling this crud is insane.
Favorite Book: The one that guy on the street gave me! Something about eating
your parents or something... I must have read it, oh I don't know... twice.
Favorite Bacteria/Virus: Human
Favorite Word: The Chickenhead curse be cast upon you! HA! Once the curse blooms yee
shall have few days left on this planet, in fact only... wait, what are we
talking about? I think I zoned out.
Favorite question on this form:
What is your email? bored@theendofthe.wrld
Yes! I wish to receive one FREE noogie every other Saturday!
Yes! I want 700 daily e-mails, all containing copies of "The Song That Never Ends!"
Yes! I want TAB mafia protection!
Yes! I wish to waive my right to seek treatment for head/emotional trauma!
Yes! I want a subscription to a non-existing book club!
Yes! I'm not even bothering to read these! I'm just randomly checking!
TAB reserves the right to accept just about anyone. Proper safety precautions include, but are not limited to: Never throw books at strangers, Do not attempt to feed the books, Never attempt brain surgery unless the victim is unconscious and has no lawyer. TAB is not responsible for any injury, loss of life, limb, head or organs. This is just a fake form. TAB reserves the right to be weird (normal for us). Should you violate this right you may be forced to read a book.
WARNING! This is not an actual TAB registration form. Ingestion of TAB may cause: nasea, indigestion, demonic possession, measles, chronic phantom itchiness, general weirdness and in extreme cases destruction or dizziness. Induce vomiting and contact Poison Control if TAB is accidentally ingested.
Void where prohibited. TAB is subject to a 90-day money back warranty. Batteries not included. Illegal in 58 of the United States. Please allow 608 weeks for delivery.
Clicking the Submit button signifies that you didn't even bother to read the fine print and/or agree with it.
*All unchecked boxes will automatically be assumed to be yes.