_{Cheeseon hath come.}

And as the battle continues, a shadow grows in the corner…the studio audience ignores it at first, eyes intent on the battle.

But as the smell of moldy CheeseWiz fill the air, whispers grow among the audience. Many move restlessly, trying to remember the last time that such a terrible smell had reached their nostrils…

The shadow grew and grew, and then suddenly, something came out of it.

Cheeseon came forth.

Her cloak was drawn about her, her red hair tumbling down it, exuding a smell of CheeseShampoo. She lifted the One Cheese, and….

NOOO! NOOO! CHEESEON, PLEASE! DON’T KILL ME! I’M ONLY THE NARRATOR! NOOOO--

*crackling of the microphone* Ahem. Testing, testing, one, two, three! Cheeseon here. BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! *applause from the studio audience*

Eon, I have come. Are you ready?

_{Go on, bawl for your mommies!}

_{Cheeseon hath come.}

One moment please. *more crackling of the microphone* I shall be back in a moment, to terrorize you all with strange, Lord of the Rings-ish weaponry! BWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!

_{Go on, bawl for your mommies!}

_{Cheeseon hath come.}

I AM NOT CHEESOFF! I AM CHEESEON!

I WILL GET YOU BACK FOR THAT, DARIGAN!

In a moment, though. I'll be right back. *shoots a glare at Darigan*

_{Go on, bawl for your mommies!}

_{Cheeseon hath come.}

GAK! I SEE IT IS TIME FOR CHEESOR!

*narrator struggles to feet and begins to narrate, despite a black eye and broken leg* And Cheeseor, which was once the Shire in the land called Middle Earth, appeared on the stage in a miniature form. The ‘Ooh!’s and ‘Aah!’s of the studio audience made it swell to a huge size, making the stage crack and creak as it was expanded to fit the Realm of Cheeseor. And the fury and cheesiness of Cheeseon fueled its weaponry, as did Solar Power, which is the #1 way to get electricity, in my opinion. And---

*Cheeseon knocks down Narrator* I’m telling the story!!!!

Ah. My fortress! *disappears and appears in tower of fortress* Very good. You’ll never get me here! *pulls up the drawbridge*

_{Go on, bawl for your mommies!}

_{Cheeseon hath come.}


GAK! *is pummeled with crackers* Gak! *is pummeled by another cracker* GAK! IT IS TIME FOR... *cracker* the *cracker* Yellow *cracker* RIDERS! The *cracker* Nazcheeses, *cracker* if you will. *cracker*

*raises One Cheese and is whacked with cracker* GAK!

*Narrator stands*

And the Nazcheeses, who were the nine special servants of Cheeseon and wielded pieces of the One Cheese, flew from their fortress in the land they had conquered for themselves, formerly known as the Land of Milk and Honey. It would take five minutes for them to reach the scene, because their cloaks were being dry cleaned and the platters on which they rode were being polished, but they would come. Oh yes. They would come.

_{Go on, bawl for your mommies!}

_{Cheeseon hath come.}

Eh! I’ll be gone for thirty minutes or so. *locks up Cheeseor and swallows key* Sorry about that! Keep beating each other! It’ll make it easier for me! *strolls away*

_{Go on, bawl for your mommies!}