Sample FAKE TAB REGISTRATION FORMS
What is your name?

What is your address? I'm not allowed to know.

How old are you? Days? Months? Years? Be more specific!!

What is your planet of origin? I'm not allowed to know.

What is your species? "They" tell me I'm human, but that may just be to keep me from asking questions.

What is your blood type? I once had my blood tested. I asked the nurse if my blood was fine, she just patted me on the head and sent me back to "them."

Are you an organ donar? Possibly. That would explain why I woke up that morning in a bathtub full of ice in that hotel....

Are you a convicted felon? No, of course not.

Have you ever commited a felony and were just never caught? Well, don't tell "them," but I once set a hamster on fire and watched it run around in circles. I'm not sure if that's a felony, though....

What is your Mother's maiden name? I once asked "them" what my Mother's maiden name was, they wouldn't answer, just injected me with a sedative and sent me back to my room.

What is you Father's maiden name? *See last question*

Favorite Book: I talked to a cult leader on the internet and read his "bible." It pointed out the hidden phophecies from "Malcolm in the Middle" and the music of Cher. Very interesting read.

Favorite Bacteria/Virus: I contracted salmonella from "them" last year. I was given medication that made me very loopy. Like drugs. I liked that medication. I actually faked symptoms so I could keep taking it. Eventually "they" found out and put me in Re-Hab.

Favorite Word: I don't have a favorite word. However, my least favorite words are "them" and "they."

Favorite question on this form: Bacteria/Virus one

What is your email? I'm not allowed to have an e-mail. But "they" have one! It's them@cia.gov. Please send them every spam letter and/or virus you know of.

Yes! I wish to receive one FREE noogie every other Saturday!
Yes! I want 700 daily e-mails, all containing copies of "The Song That Never Ends!"
Yes! I want TAB mafia protection!
Yes! I wish to waive my right to seek treatment for head/emotional trauma!
Yes! I want a subscription to a non-existing book club!
Yes! I'm not even bothering to read these! I'm just randomly checking!

TAB reserves the right to accept just about anyone. Proper safety precautions include, but are not limited to: Never throw books at strangers, Do not attempt to feed the books, Never attempt brain surgery unless the victim is unconscious and has no lawyer. TAB is not responsible for any injury, loss of life, limb, head or organs. This is just a fake form. TAB reserves the right to be weird (normal for us). Should you violate this right you may be forced to read a book.

WARNING! This is not an actual TAB registration form. Ingestion of TAB may cause: nasea, indigestion, demonic possession, measles, chronic phantom itchiness, general weirdness and in extreme cases destruction or dizziness. Induce vomiting and contact Poison Control if TAB is accidentally ingested.

Void where prohibited. TAB is subject to a 90-day money back warranty. Batteries not included. Illegal in 58 of the United States. Please allow 608 weeks for delivery.

Clicking the Submit button signifies that you didn't even bother to read the fine print and/or agree with it. *All unchecked boxes will automatically be assumed to be yes.