Lt. Ben Doevr
Sample FAKE TAB REGISTRATION FORMS
What is your name? Lt. Ben Doevr
What is your address? Lt. Ben Doevr
How old are you? is this a question like "what's your sign?"
What is your planet of origin? another stalker question....
What is your species? is this a question like "what's your sign?"
What is your blood type? this had better not be something connected to one of those dumb
vampire jokes
Are you an organ donar? if people rent them that's ok but i don't give my stuff out for
free
Are you a convicted felon? would i be here typing this if i was? didn't think so
Have you ever commited a felony and were just never caught? i think that you're somehow connected to the police
What is your Mother's maiden name? *cough*stalker*cough*
What is you Father's maiden name? STALKER
Favorite Book: "how to fire at an opposing soldier"
Favorite Bacteria/Virus: one we can release on anyone supporting the afganistan soldiers
Favorite Word: baaaaaaaaaa(like a sheep)
Favorite question on this form: that one*points randomly at screen*
What is your email? i ain't telling you nothing 'til you prove you aren't stalking me
Yes! I wish to receive one FREE noogie every other Saturday!
Yes! I want 700 daily e-mails, all containing copies of "The Song That Never Ends!"
Yes! I want TAB mafia protection!
Yes! I wish to waive my right to seek treatment for head/emotional trauma!
Yes! I want a subscription to a non-existing book club!
Yes! I'm not even bothering to read these! I'm just randomly checking!
TAB reserves the right to accept just about anyone. Proper safety precautions include, but are not limited to: Never throw books at strangers, Do not attempt to feed the books, Never attempt brain surgery unless the victim is unconscious and has no lawyer. TAB is not responsible for any injury, loss of life, limb, head or organs. This is just a fake form. TAB reserves the right to be weird (normal for us). Should you violate this right you may be forced to read a book.
WARNING! This is not an actual TAB registration form. Ingestion of TAB may cause: nasea, indigestion, demonic possession, measles, chronic phantom itchiness, general weirdness and in extreme cases destruction or dizziness. Induce vomiting and contact Poison Control if TAB is accidentally ingested.
Void where prohibited. TAB is subject to a 90-day money back warranty. Batteries not included. Illegal in 58 of the United States. Please allow 608 weeks for delivery.
Clicking the Submit button signifies that you didn't even bother to read the fine print and/or agree with it.
*All unchecked boxes will automatically be assumed to be yes.
