Written 03/05/2010
Author's Notes: Written as a comment-fic follow-up to Never Never Land because Vespurrs dared me to. *eg*
Kup had been on Earth for two months. As things on the Decepticon front were quiet, the younger mechs had taken to introducing Kup to Earth’s rich human culture.
This orn was Television, and a sci-fi marathon. They had already seen Farscape, which had reminded Kup of the time his ship Jonager was eaten by a space whale. (It was three days before they could get out.) They had watched Firefly, in which an attack by the Reavers prompted a story about a similar encounter with a wreck of Shrikebats he’d had on Dromedon. Then there was Doctor Who, where Kup couldn’t decide if the Daleks reminded him more of Sharkticons or Ick-Yaks in their behaviour and eventually settle on some mutant amalgam of both. He had liked Battlestar Galactica though, as the space battles were the most realistic in his vast experience and the Cylons appeared to be a clever and dangerous foe.
Right now they were watching something called “Star Trek”. Like the Doctor Who series, Star Trek seemed to have many different variations. Nonetheless the overall theme of a galaxy full of various organic lifeforms banding together in a utopic society was, regrettably, not Kup’s style.
“It’s just not likely, s’all. Why, I been around most of the Primus-forsaken galaxy and had to fight my way out of ‘first contact’ with most of the creatures I met! Most species out there ain’t that friendly, even if they do accept the Universal Greeting. Although there was that one time...”
The channel was quickly switched to something else.
Later, as Kup was driving around to familiarize himself was their new home, he passed something that actually made him pause for an astrosecond. Heading the opposite direction down the narrow two-lane road was another black car – a quick check on the World Wide Web (which was one of the few down-right useful things invented by the humans, as far as he was concerned) – revealed it to be a Pontiac Trans-Am, circa mid-1980s. But what took him aback was the sweeping red light set low in its prow.
Startled, Kup pulled a fast U-turn and followed the strange car into a quiet warehouse district. He flared out his scanners as he drove to try and get a bead on the thing as he chased it.
The results had him exploding into his transformation to leap in front of the car with his musket laser drawn and ready.
“Freeze, you evil Centurion toaster! Your disguise doesn’t fool me, I know you’re a Cylon! Surrender, or be destroyed!”
The Cylon shrank back, wisely trembling in fear from his superior might as a warrior.
“I beg you’re pardon?!”
Kup froze. The polite, slightly shocked, but not at all threatening voice of the Cylon confused him.
“I am not a Cylon, sir. Cylons are a fictional race from a television miniseries and do not exist in reality. I, however, am very real. I am the Knight Industries Two Thousand. KITT, for short.”
The Trans-Am continued, its soft voice growing a little sharper in its indignation. “Furthermore, I’m insulted by the comparison. The Cylons were deceitful genocidal villains, while I make every effort to uphold the law and place the utmost importance on saving human lives.”
“Oh, sorry,” Kup sub-spaced his weapon. He stood there awkwardly for a moment. The Trans-Am’s, KITT’s, red light swept steadily back and forth.
“So, uh... Bah-weep-Graaaaagnah wheep ni ni bong?”
Edited March 5th: Ahahahaha! It just doesn't stop... there's now more crack-fic crossover goodness because people keep throwing ideas at me and making me write 'em. Next one's a Kung Fu: The Legend Continues crossover as Kermit Griffin makes a new friend. ;P
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