Kiss in the Wind
Linkin Fantasy

Kiss in the Wind

Its been a mere four days since the last time I saw him. Moving, breathing, living. It feels like an eternity since the last time I felt him, heard him, alive. All I have left of him now are clothes, pictures, items of his that now belong to me. My memories and undying love are the things I'll hold onto the most, the things I charish now more than ever. I just wish he knew how much....
....
The funeral was beautiful everyone came, even people I didn't know. He probably didn't know them either. They were just there because he'd saved their lives at some point as a member of SeeD. He saved my life too and doesn't even know it. I just wish I could tell him. Its ironic that his downfall was one of the things he loved the most- a gun. I could have stopped it from happening but now its too late and I find myself doing what I've done since the accident. Blaming myself hoping I'm the only one. Now like the end of everyday since Irvine died I'm sitting alone in our room about to cry myself to sleep. Holding and caressing his favorite gun. I could easily have taken my own life that very day his was taken from me but I don't. Why? because he saved my life when he told me he loved me and I won't throw that away and have all his efforts wasted. Even if it meant we could be together. So I just lie here holding it running my ungloved hand across the metal.

He was beautiful in all ways. He had a personality that could lighten up the day to no end. He was good at making people feel better with just a few words and not even know it. He was giving and caring no matter what his own self insecurities were, he loved others to no end. His laugh could make the blackest heart turn red hearing his good heart behind it. Everything he said and did made me love him more and more everyday to no end............. to his end.

Just as the tears were falling from my eyes I felt a chill in the wind. Which was strange because there wasn't a draft in the room from anywhere. Everything was closed off and dark just like it had been that day he died. This wind flew past my face lightly touching it as if to wipe away the fallen tears. I closed my eyes at the soft touch of the air that hit my hands. It was like the wind was holding them comforting me. Suddenly my eyes snapped open and I sat up. The wind was lifting the gun from my hands right before my eyes. I had to rub them roughly to make sure I wasn't delirious. It took the gun to the rack that held the others placing it back in its original spot.

"There's no need for that thing anymore." Either I was going crazy or there was a voice in the wind. One that sounded remotely close to Irvine's. "W- who's there?" I asked looking around in the empty room. "Ah come on don't tell me you forgot what I sounded like already." There was the voice again closer this time. "Irvine?" I said uncertain of what I was doing and suddenly that rush of air came back as if it were hovering over me this time. "In the flesh. Well actually in the spirit but I'm here darlin- here for you." Suddenly the room got colder than before and I could see him. I could actually see his figure forming in front of my eyes but he wasn't solid. Just a transparent figure of Irvine standing beside the bed. My face lit up and I was about to rush forwards to hug him but stopped myself. 'This isn't real, I'm imagining it or crazy.' I told myself. Then he answered like he'd read my thoughts. "You're not crazy blade boy and I really am here, as much as I can be anyway."

He moved onto the bed sitting beside me and leaned his face close to mine. His form was giving off the same cool comforting chill I'd felt before. "Irvine." I whispered closing my eyes as the air from his hand brushed my cheek. This has to be real it couldn't be anything else. He spoke again and I opened my eyes staring deeply into the faded color of his eyes. Not seeing through them at all. "I know things have been hard on you since I died, its been hard on me too watchin you this way. Alone and sad all the time. That's why they let me come here tonight- for you and myself."

"What do you mean?" "Squall what happened wasn't your fault or mine and even though we can't change what happened we can get past it." "No I can't." I said quietly to myself mostly and stared down at the black of the blanket. "Yes you can and I'm gonna help you."

He moved on the bed straddling himself over me and I could feel his weight pressing down on me. It only revived the tears in my eyes and I tried to put my arms around him but they went right through. I looked at my hands then at his glowing figure. He looked just as disapointed as I was. "I know it sucks that you can't touch me darlin but you can feel me and that's all that matters right now." He ran his hands up my night shirt and and I could feel his gentle touch like he were really there. The heat his skin everything. He pulled the shirt over my head carefully and if anyone else were here they'd have seen it floating slowly to the floor as he placed it down. "Just close your eyes and imagine, remember how it was, don't think of me as a ghost." He said.

I closed my eyes and shook my head. "You're not a ghost you're an angel." I couldn't see it myself but I knew he smiled before pressing his lips to mine. They were warm and soft same as always. He pressed his tongue into my mouth and after reveling in his taste and feel I joined him in the kiss. Doing the best I could to kiss the wind. His hands moved across my cheeks, over my temples and into my hair. His hands found their way down my arms then up and over my chest. He pulled away for a minute but didn't move his mouth far from mine. "I miss you Squall." Was all he said before returning his mouth to mine but quickly removing it going down my neck. I sighed breathly and unspokenly told him I missed him too. He kissed his way down my chest taking in each of my nipples one at a time giving them equal sucks. Meanwhile his hands were working on my pants sliding them down only enough to let my erection show. He continued sucking his way down my body until he got to my hot spot.

At first he just breathed on my heated flesh and held my hips. After a moment he put his lips to the tip giving it a light kiss then opened his mouth taking it in. I sucked in some air and wishing I could put my hands in those long flowing strands of auburn hair but I used the blanket instead. I gathered a bunch of the fabric in my hand and held on to it tightly. He massaged the flesh of my butt with his hands while making sure to steady my hips. When he pushed his slender fingers inside my opening my hips jumped upwards pushing my cock further into his mouth. He ran his tongue down my length then back up again. It made my whole body shiver. He slid his fingers further into my hole pressing them against the side walls of my anus going in further. I let out a moan and clenched harder to the soft fabric in my hands that to my mind started to feel like Irvine's silken hair.

 "I miss you Irvine, every second of everyday and I'll never stop." I said hoarsely and barely above a whisper. "It shouldn't have happened its my fault. I need you back I need you to be with me." I continued. "Uh." He pushed his fingers in more reaching my spot and started a rhythem with them and his mouth sucking me off. Sucking away my pain and loneliness. I continued breathing heavily and moans escaped my mouth. My hips bucking up every now and then. I could hear the harshness of his breathing too and feel the hot air from his nose against my skin. Right then I silently thanked Hyne and the gods, whoever for this moment with him as I released into his mouth. My back arched off the bed from the orgasm and then settled back down. He pulled his fingers out and released my dick from his mouth. Like before he returned to the top of the bed and embraced me.

"Why'd you have to leave?" I said letting the tears fall freely now. "I don't know but it had nothin to do with you. Its not your fault at all. Promise me you won't think that anymore." I stared at his face seeing the water in his eyes as well. "I promise." He smiled one of his most famous southern charmers at me, the one that only I got to see. "I want you to know that even though you won't actually see me I'll always be here with you. No matter where you go or what you're doin. I'll be here forever and ever. helping you, protecting you and guiding you............ loving you. Everyday of your life." At that moment the tears fell from his eyes joining mine in streams down my face. He kissed me again and it could have only been an act of the gods because I kissed him back actually feeling my lips on his, tasting him. For that solid second I put my arms around him quickly hugging him tightly rubbing his hair. He pulled away from my mouth and whispered "I love you." before fading back into the breeze. "I love you." I said and with one last brush of air on my lips I kissed the wind and watched my angel fade away.

The End

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