11-16-3
It is interesting… this new Journey. My empathic/ telepathic abilities seem even keener than ever. I have spoken several times with Tatiana, concerning where I am, what has happened, and about the Wings. She has told me that I have made the Captain a very rich Elf, as he had taken all the bets, in his belief of me. She has said she doesn’t know the meaning of the Wings, nor the White Fire that appears to hold to me. She has gently stated that it is Time to continue my Journey and discover the reasons for myself. She wishes me well.
I have spent many days with Satch. Drinking tea, thinking, resting, trying to make sense out of the patterns and pieces that seem impossible to connect cognitively, even though I keep trying. It is hard for me to sit in Peace – to “be” in Peace. Things seem to filter and coalesce better as I move, I think because moving engages my cognition and allows my intuition to work, unhindered and unfettered by it. I have packed a few things now, having learned how to meld my Wings into my luminescent field til they become invisible… allowing me to dress comfortably.
The White Fire energy appears to be a mirroring sort, that blends into whatever environment I am in, like camouflage, rendering me invisible as well. Satch has shown me that whenever I walk a few steps out into the forest, he can barely discern me – he Knows where I am, but I am not visually discernible. Interesting. When I look at myself, it is like looking into clear water – not empty, but alive with a new clarity. I know I must just accept myself, and not try to understand. It is not understandable. Certainly, not to who and what I am currently. And, truly, I know that such knowledge would just get in the Way of my success on this Journey. Tomorrow, I will set out in this Northern place, and see what comes to hand.
Poems
11-20-3
Journey of Light
fills me
transforms me
into a
Journey of Light.
I am Peace –
Stillness released
to its Own;
A Melody –
Spirit set free
from the Stone.
Golden sparklies dance with me,
sing me through the Break;
golden sparklies walk with me,
lighting my Path and Wake.
Metoc, my Jaguar companion,
Healer, in your own Right,
I honor the Honor you give me
to walk with me in the Light.
On and on, I discover
my cognition perceives the mirage
as real, when real is ever
one step beyond my thoughts.
Closer now, I see the Dream
as pieces of my Self...
like rain caught in a strobe-light
becomes quite something else;
no more or less, and yet it seems
the Whole is but a Dance,
that so reveals its Pattern,
when Stillness holds my hands.
Not doing or trying
Not living or dying
Not moving beyond myself,
But listening and seeing
As part of just being
In Stillness, and nothing else.
I don’t venture far yet,
just close to the Door...
feeling the Newness –
the Change in the Core...
the Lightness within me,
and all through the air –
the Note a third higher
that sings everywhere;
I breathe with a slowness
to savor the feel
of Truth now re-weaving
its Light in my Shield.
11-21-3
Often, when I pause
and realize myself
in the peace between
one breath and the next,
I can touch stillness
and inhale its rich elixir...
I can taste beauty
and weave it into my steps.
Violet-blue ribbons of evening clouds
wrap the sun in transmutation...
weaving a cocoon
from which flies the moon...
for Midwinter’s celebration.
I pour the sacred Stillness
into my heart’s own bowl,
and drink of its elixir
until my Self is whole.
Wake the Child and free your Self...
the Call awaits your reply –
or could it be that I’m asleep...
and the Child just seeks to fly.
A woman cries
lost in the swirling shimmering mists
of a mind
haunted by tangled, untethered thoughts...
A woman sighs
caught in the fearful and volatile rifts
where a Sign
dares her to solve her Celtic knots.
Here, a woman stands
...a child held within...
with open heart and hands,
the Journey now begins.
Hold me no longer as a Child,
but as a Woman grown –
Sing me a lullaby of the Wild,
and the Truth that I would own.
Here now, the Vision manifests...
still shimmering in its birth –
Here now, the Woman of my Quest...
the Daughter of the Earth;
At last the Image is transformed...
my trust in Healing hands –
the Woman from the Child is born...
my Self unfolds as planned;
This sip of Truth reveals the Grail...
as Threads design the Weave –
This step of Faith reveals the Trail...
I am alive! I breathe.