Well, there are some good things, and some bad things about the smash hits The Mummy and The Mummy Returns. To the folks who absolutely love anything to do with Ancient Egypt, it was quite an eyeful. However, after watching it 754 times, you start to pick up on things here and there, that you wouldn't have noticed the first 700 times while your jaw was hitting the floor in awe of this glorious Egypt stuff!
First off, the team worked their ass off as far as language was concerned. They did very well, and focused hard on the pronunciation of words, conjugating verbs, and overall flow and tone. Or at least to the extent the evidence shows of what we know of Ancient Egyptian! I would often rewind certain long strains of the move and see if I can place words here and there. Oh what time I had on my hands while 6 months pregnant!
And how about those costumes and cinematography?! I would have loved to have worked on that set and snatch some of the costumes and props off the stage! They paid very good attention to detail here, where they didn't in other parts of the movies, but we'll get there later.
Imhotep's special effects rocked too! Who wouldn't want to make whole parts of a river swell up like that? And his face rising from the sand? How sweet was that? On the DVD, they have a special feature with a documentary of the making of the film, and they show how much work went into making his mummy character and the effects. Not a lot of research, but a hell of a lot of attention was paid to the human anatomy, and the small details of how the mummy should move in regard to the muscles in the human body. It was far out to watch.
Oh! And the writing...there were quite a few memorable lines in that movie. Some are hilarious just for their foolishness content, some are just face-to-palm slappers. The lines in italics are my commentary:
- Curator: "Oh my God, it does exist! The book of the dead..." You don't say dumb ass! I could have his job if he didn't know that!
- Ardeth Bay: [To Alex] By putting on the bracelet, you have started a chain reaction that could bring about the next apocalypse.
Alex: [gasp]
Rick: [To Ardeth] Hey, you, lighten up.
[To Alex]
Rick: You, big trouble.
[To Jonathan]
Rick: You, get in the car.
Damn! I sure hope I don't have any bracelets like that lying around
- [witnessing Imhotep's resurrection]
Rick: You know, a couple of years ago, this would have seemed very strange to me. Me too, Rick. Me too...
- Jacques: This place... is cursed.
Red: What is it with you and curses?
Spivey: Yeah, you're not happy without a good curse.
[mockingly]
Spivey: This is cursed. That is cursed.
And let me tell you, I STILL to this day walking around menacingly telling people random things in my house are cursed because of this line. ::grins:: Literally, this had to be jacques' only line, in which he said it several times throughout the movie!
- Alex: Hey. The Book of the Dead.
Meela: What a bright little child. Your mother must be missing you terribly. If you wish to see her again, you better behave.
Alex: Lady, I don't behave for my parents, what makes you think I'm going to do it for you?
Meela: Because your parents don't put poisonous snakes in your bed while you were sleeping.
Hmmm...I should consider this threat when my daughter gets older ::Grins::
- [After crashing through London and fighting off the Mummy soldiers]
Rick: You okay?
Ardeth Bay: This was my first bus ride.
Aww! poor dude! They are seriously just like that too!
- Evelyn: No harm ever came from opening a chest
Rick: Yeah, no harm ever came from reading a book either. Remember how that one went?
Why yes! Can't we all say that? ::grins with a face - 2 - palm::
- Rick: Folks, knowing my brother-in-law, he probably deserves whatever you're about to do to him. But this is my house, and I have certain rules about snakes and dismemberments.
And I can almost just hear me saying this one in a few years too...
- Jonathan: Pull me up. Pull me up.
[he sees the huge diamond on top of the pyramid]
Jonathan: Wait, wait. Let me down. Let me down.
Rick: It's not worth your life, you idiot.
Jonathan: Yes, it is. Yes, it is.
Indeed. I would have done the same thing, and I'm not an idiot!
- [on seeing Rick's tattoo]
Ardeth Bay: If I were to say to you that, "I am a stranger traveling from the East, seeking that which is lost"...
Rick: Then I would reply that, "I am a stranger traveling from the West, it is I whom you seek."
Ardeth Bay: Then it is true. You have the sacred mark.
Rick: What, that? No, that got slapped on me when I was in an orphanage in Cairo.
Ardeth Bay: That mark means you are a protector of man. A warrior for God. A Medjai.
Rick: I'm sorry. You've got the wrong guy.
Somehow I immediately pictured a couple meeting through an ancient classified ad!
- Jonathan: I say chaps, look at that. Shrunken heads. I'd love to know how they do that.
[Everybody looks strangely at Jonathan]
Jonathan: Just curious.
Me too! ::face palm again::
You've gotta admit, those we're pretty funny...Okay, in an odd sort of way, but funny none-the-less.
Okay, now onto the horrible things in this movie. I have no idea whether the writer was a crappy researcher, or if he used the characters he did just for the famous names. ::Shrugs:: The timing was so incredibly off, it made me want to puke. First off, Seti I was not the father of Nefertiri, and he surely didn't know Ankhesenamun, nevermind marry her! And well, should we even touch on Imhotep? None of these people would have known each other, except maybe Nefetiri and Ankhesenamun. And that would only be if Nefertiri is supposed to be a misspelling of Nefertiti, and then she would be the mother of Ankhesenamun, not her arch-nemesis! Argh...
And what's up with the 5 Canopic jars? I thought there were only 4? ::raises and wiggles her eyebrow:: Is the writer a Wiccan who has to add some silly elemental system to the sacredness of the Canopic jars, or what?
Oh, and scarabs aren't flesh eaters. Well, that is they aren't unless they are forced to eat already dead flesh by being totally stuck inside an already locked sarcophagus! Not to mention how slow the process is. They had the cursing of Imhotep all wrong besides the chiseling off of his name.
Okay, explain to me this. When they were on the train, visiting various spots, for only the Neteru knows why, why was it that they stopped and wiggled all over the map? You would expect an ancient architect to know exactly where he would need to go, and the most efficient route, no?
And lastly, what the hell is up with the Scorpion King? No doubt, I, like you, loved seeing the handsome piece of man flesh called The Rock. But did he really have anything to do with the plot? And how the heck did they seem to connect Narmer, the first Nisut, to anything in the story? Man, this one got me confused.
So, in conclusion, if you want to see something Egyptian themed, and don't care how much the plot fits with actual historical evidence, then go ahead and see it! Its very cool. If you want to see something that is parallel to actual history, go and get yourself a box of popcorn and see a documentary instead.
