Val: What are you doing?
Carmen: I'm poking you with my Escaflowne stick!
April: Peter knows that you stalk him... hehe.
Carmen: I DO NOT!
Mel: I don't know, blank.
Mel: Donkey shit raper!
Carmen: Are you wanna be my friend?
Carmen: Biggus Buttus Alertus!
April: Mrs. Elephant Dooply... Finkly Doris...
April: I can be born...
April: Mickey Butt Wipe™!
Carmen: Are you Doug-ish or something?
April: 14 years ago my mudder shipped me off to boot camp...
Mel: Pichomp!
April: Rizz Barawrny dare?
(on the phone)
April: What's your favorite scary movie?
Carmen: Big Daddy.
April: Oh, okay. Bye! *click*
Carmen: (rephrasing Matt Stone's words to fit her life) "I'm dog shit, April's cat vomit. Mmm, pizza."
Carmen: I am broccoli pitchfork boy!
April: (about the South Park movie) Yeah, let's all sit around and curse and swear and rape things.
Carmen: Are you wanna be my friend?
Sylvie: Are you wanna kiss my ass?
April: You're SO goddamn Doug-ish!
Carmen: Oh yeah? Well at least I don't eat dog food!
April: ...that was a long time ago...
Carmen: Oh, you like to wear checkered shirts? Oh yes, I love to wear checkered shirts.
April: Sand... The World's Toilet Paper. So wipe some ass!
April: Why do you have snot rags all over your room?! It's, like, gross!
Carmen & Mel: My arse plate is gone.
April: Flick flick!
Carmen: EEEEW!!!
April: Eeew...
Carmen: Heero Tut!
Jayme: *rofl* Tut?
Carmen: It's not my fault! New keyboard, dammit!
Mel: T'as un... beau cul! *click*
April: Oh, is dat what you tot? Oh no, but dat's what I knew.
Carmen: Hey, April! Guess what was on on Sunday at five!
April: What?
Carmen: Sailor Moon!!!
April: Oh yeah. That's right. Jordan (her 9 year old brother) was watching it.
Carmen: Cool!
April: Oh, yah, yah, that's cool. "Go ahead, Jordan, watch Sailor Moon. Here, Jordan, here. W-wear a dress, Jordan. H-here's a Barbie, Jordan."
Carmen: ...what are you implying?
April: Whoa! It's almost like you're retarded!
Chooses to remain nameless: You gotta love a man in drag...
April: Just fart and get it over with!
April: Fink Filly Fanties...
April: I see dead people... they're eating pancakes...
April: *mumble, mumble*
Carmen: I beg your pardon?
April: Nothing.
Carmen: What did you say?
April: I forget.
Carmen: Well what were you talking about?
April: You.
Carmen: Oh, gee, thanks a lot, arse-
April: You're welcome.
Mel & Carmen: I see generous people... they open doors...
Mel & Carmen: I smell something stinking, garbage.
April: Orange peelings!
Carmen: How do you like your ice?
Mel: My what?
Carmen: Your ice.
Mel: Uh... frozen.
(writing a fake job application)
April: Re: Application for garbage picking aide
I am interested in picking through the (This is where the name of my town is supposed to go, and I'll be damned if you're gonna get it, Mr. Internet Psycho Nut Killer!) residents' garbage. My former employer was Pat Anderson. I have developed on many skills in picking through trash with Pat, such as combing old men's toupees, and how to successfully re-use undies. I would enjoy being part of your town rummaging committee. If you want, contact me at the drain pipe next to Kentucky Fried Chicken.
April: Regis eye crustations...
April: Poopeh pants!