Adam: I can't drink hard stuff or I turn into Rambo.
Ryan: I hate babies and people!
Adam: I don’t wanna do the test, it’ll take too long.
Josh: j00 wanna b my gf?
Carmen: lol k
Josh: OMG YES ^_^
Carmen: wut dose ^_^ mean
Josh: u dont no? Its japanese for horney
Josh: Why do you keep being so violent and disruptive?
Adam: Ever had your belly button licked?
Jordan: Natural causes. …………yes.
Josh: Aaawugh we could have been the black shoe gang but Jordan ruined it by wearing brown.
Josh: Can we have our pre-break break now?
Josh: ‘Bob’ makes more sense than ‘Hortence’.
Jordan: It’s his stage name.
Jess: What do we have for lunch today?
Shawn: Big Mac!
Jess: I can’t afford a Big Mac.
Josh: Small Mac.
Jordan: You eat a bar of soap? That’ll fix a lot of things…
Josh: I smell third world!
Ryan: She’s like, “This is the best moment of my life, and I’m sharing it with Bob Barker.”
Jordan: You can’t babysit; you can’t even dress yourself.
Adam: What the fuck are you doin’? I was just sittin’ here, laughin’ and tee-heein’…
Jordan: Surprise! You’re stuck in a dead-end job!
Jordan: Who do we have to sleep with to get our systems going?!
Jess: Takin’ one for the team!
Jordan: Just one?
Jess: I almost got beavered!
Cathy: Can I have some soup?
Adam: I need milk and diapers and so does my kid.
Ryan: Josh… she wants you.
Josh: Oh I know.
Josh: You’re blocking the Team Leader.
Josh: Their fake plant died because […] they didn’t give it plastic vitamins.
Josh: Don and Dwayna.
Josh: I forget there are other people around.
Josh: I’m blissfully retarded.
Leanne: Why are they writing to their credit card company about their pooping problems?
Bev: Is nothing sacred?
Josh: Oxercise. It’s exercise for cows.
Josh: j00 are made ov rhubarb.
Carmen: Is that a period or a comma?
Josh: I don’t know. I don’t even remember putting it there. Damn alcohol.
Josh: We must flee to Poland. I shall become Professor von Joshenstein. And you shall be my very hawt wife Carmen D’Acadie.
Phil: Okay, Mrs. Really Really French, la…
Josh: Your nails aren’t wearing their make-up today.
Ryan: She’s the Martha of How-To.
Josh: Just say no… to knowledge.