Ben: Shall I compare thee to a summer's day?

Jerry: No but thee may compare me to Steve Erkle.

Ben: Your lips are red as love.

Jerry: Bree Bree, where for out there Bree Bree.

Bree: Shut-up, I'm right here.

Ben: Mary Mary had a litle lamb.

Kat: Dork, that's not Shakespeare.

Ben: So, that's not ei-t-h-e-r.

Kat: Huh?

Bree: He said e-I, e-I

Skittles: -o-!

Mr. F: Kids, children, I have one question. Live or kill myself because you kids drive me nuts. That is the question.

Kat: Oh goshy gosh, Mr. F, we're not in math..so get out of the play!

Bree: This is not…romantic.

Kat: What? With ducky Ben?

Bree: Ya, anywho, this Shakespeare sucks, let's go

[they walk off]

Ben: Oh, Jerry, my girlfriend calls thee. One must leave. [he goes off stage]

Jerry: He left me. [raises arms in disgust] He left me. [falls to the ground with emotion] Kill me now and take my misery [silence…nothing happens.] I said take me now…now…[silence] Now? Come on…

Ben: [offstage] Jerry, get up and go…live

Bree and Ben: Hee hee.