Actors Who Could Have Been Ford <bgsound src="fordloon.wav">

Okay, so I’ve been harboring this one for several months: The upcoming HHG movie includes a...less than satisfactory casting decision. Just guess which character. I haven’t seen the movie yet, but I know this one isn’t going to fly. The classic rebuttal here is “Oh, yeah? You think _you_ could do a better job casting Ford Prefect?” So before anyone wastes their breath asking, yes, I do.

Ideally, Ford would be played by David Dixon, who will forever remain the live action Ford as far as I’m concerned (and Geoffrey McGivern will always be the voice). Unfortunately, it’s been over two decades and that ship hath sailed. That being the case, any one of the following list of actors is far better suited to the role.

Sean Astin
Why I thought of him: Frankly, because I had all of his Hobbity buddies here and I couldn't leave him out.
Pro: He’s on the shorter side and has the right sense of humour.
Con: He’s a bit too handsome. Ford should be a delicate-featured cutie, not a square-jawed hunk (never thought you’d read that about Samwise Gamgee, did ya?) And he’s American.

Jamie Bamber
Why I thought of him: The way Archie acts in 4, 5, and 6. And the eyes.
Pro: He’s got the eyes. _Boy_ has he got the eyes.
Con: He’s got a little bit of the same problem that Astin does. The one about being too handsome, not the one about being American.

Billy Boyd
Why I thought of him: I think of him a lot... ;^)
Pro: He’s on the shorter side, has delicate features, and is plenty silly enough. And just look at that picture – he’s already ready for the part.
Con: He would probably have to lose the Scottish lilt. And millions of fangirls let out an anguished cry.

Christian Coulson
Why I thought of him: I'm really just not even sure. No explanation, just...there. Yeah.
Pro: He's clearly a very talented actor capable of portraying a wide variety of characters.
Con: Um...There’s something not _quite_ Ford about him. But I didn’t think there was anything particularly Tom Riddle about him after I saw him as M’Man Hammond, either, so I’m sure he could pull it off.

Jeff Davis
Why I thought of him: Have you seen Whose Line?
Pro: He’s hyper and adorable and clearly has the right fashion sense.
Con: He’s American.

Chip Esten
Why I thought of him: Basically the same reasons I thought of Davis.
Pro: He’s rather hyper and quite humourous.
Con: He’s American, and he looks just enough like Jim Carrey for it to occasionally be distracting.

Will Friedle
Why I thought of him: He's got a nice little repertoir of hyperactive, witty sweeties built up. And imagine what those eyebrows could bring to the role...
Pro: Energy-wise, he is unparalleled. And he’s definitely got the delicate features going on. At least when he’s not chunked out and sporting the facial hair.
Con: He’s American. And 5’ 9”.

Ryan Gosling
Why I thought of him: He clearly has no shame and is just an all around cutie.
Pro: That lovely sense of humour. And those lovely facial features.
Con: The boy’s over 6’. And Canadian.

Seth Green
Why I thought of him: He's the right size and clearly talented. Whether or not he fully utilizes his talent is debatable...
Pro: Short and silly.
Con: American and already well-known for his...less subtle characters.

John Hannah
Why I thought of him: I suppose when it comes right down to it, he would be more Zaphod-ish, but he could do Ford, too.
Pro: Has the right sense of humour and the right features.
Con: A little too tall and a little too old. And would have to drop the Scottish accent.

Orlando Jones
Why I thought of him: Truth be told, I was simply trying to figure out if I was being racist about the whole casting thing. Jones was the third person who sprung to mind when I started thinking of who I would prefer, so I was satisfied that it wasn't a racial thing, but instead a personality issue. Jones' character in The Time Machine also has a rather Ford-ish vibe about him.
Pro: Energetic and has a good grasp of the necessary sense of humour.
Con: 6’ tall and American.

Phil LaMarr
What made me think of him: See Orlando Jones. Only substitute "second" for "third." And disregard the bit about The Time Machine. Cause LaMarr wasn't in that, so that part wouldn't make much sense in his case.
Pro: Energetic and humourous.
Con: American.

Jason Marsden
Why I thought of him: I was looking for short little pookies. Why do you _think_ I thought of him?
Pro: Short and energetic.
Con: A little too round in the face. And American.

Dominic Monaghan
Why I thought of him: Short actors --> Hobbits. Logical thought progression, no? As much as I hate to play into the hands of pop culture, I do love my Hobbits.
Pro: Short, energetic, and British. And clearly comfortable in mismatched clothes.
Con: The nose. The nose is adorable, but I don’t know that it’s Ford.

Guy Pearce
Why I thought of him: An excellent question. Excuse me a moment while I have a word with my psyche...
Pro: The eyes.
Con: Australian, way tall, and completely the wrong facial structure.

Sam Rockwell
Why I thought of him: I had recently watched A Midsummer Night's Dream and looked at the cast list of HHG (clearly...why else would this have gotten started?)
Pro: He’s a cutie.
Con: He’s American. And he’s playing Zaphod. Not that having him play two roles wouldn’t still be better than what we’ve got. I’m not bitter.

Rider Strong
Why I thought of him: Short actors --> Jason Marsden --> Will Friedle --> Rider Strong. I'm a big fan of word association.
Pro: Slightly elvish-featured and energetic.
Con: American.

Samuel West
Why I thought of him: He is just so very British. If I were casting a play where one of the characters was "England," I would either cast Colin Firth or Samuel West. And both of them have the potential to be very bizarre. Clearly Sam is better suited as Ford. Firth would make a smashing Arthur, though...
Pro: Sharp features and very British. And that tie has “Ford” written all over it. (Not literally. Don’t strain your eyes)
Con: A little on the older side and a lot on the taller side.

Elijah Wood
Why I thought of him: Because he's perfect for the role.
Pro: The perfect eyes set in the perfect face with the perfect amount of energy and all rolled up into a perfectly-sized package.
Con: He’s American.

And what would an Actors Who Could Have Been Ford page be without a page for Actors Who Should Not Be Ford?