Quotes (Page 13)!

  1. "The amount of women in London who flirt with their own husbands is perfectly scandalous." ~Algernon Moncrieff
  2. "An engagement should come on a young girl as a surprise, pleasant or unpleasant, as the case may be. It is hardly a matter that she could be allowed to arrange for herself." ~Lady Bracknell
  3. "It is awfully hard work doing nothing. However, I don"t mind hard work where there is no definite object of any kind." ~Algernon Moncrieff
  4. "Her mother is perfectly unbarable. Never met such a Gorgon"I don"t really know what a Gorgon is like, but I am quite sure that Lady Bracknell is one. In any case, she is a monster, without being a myth, which is rather unfair." ~Jack Worthing
  5. "You don"t think there is any chance of Gwendolen becoming like her mother in about a hundred and fifty years, do you, Algy?" ~Jack Worthing
  6. "It is perfectly childish to be in deep mourning for a man who is actually staying for a whole week with you in your house as a guest. I call it grotesque." ~Algernon Moncrieff
  7. "One has a right to Bunbury anywhere one chooses. Every serious Bunburyist knows that." ~Algernon Moncrieff
  8. "How dare you play on Wagner"s rest?!" ~Mr. Keech
  9. "IT"S ALL CEREBRAL!!" ~Mr. Jaffurs
  10. "I may take you down, but I"ll never let you down." ~Mr. Jaffurs
  11. "I want to raise my freak flag/And never be alone." ~They Might Be Giants, "How Can I Sing Like a Girl?"
  12. "The apprentice gave him a bleary look. It was too early in the morning for it to be early in the morning. That was the only thing he currently knew for sure." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  13. "Sometimes he had to cough to attract the customer"s attention. That being said, sometimes Jeremy had to cough to attract the attention of his reflection when he was shaving." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  14. "Genius is always allowed some leeway, once the hammer has been pried from its hands and the blood has been cleaned up." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  15. "Questions don"t have to make sense, Vincent. But answers do." ~Susan Sto Helit
  16. "There is no educating a smart boy." ~The Master of Novices
  17. "Mr. Soak was a friend, which in Jeremy"s limited social vocabulary meant "someone I speak to once or twice a week."" ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  18. "I"ve actually got a piece of paper that says I"m not [insane], you know. Not many people have one of those!" ~Jeremy Clockson
  19. "Things either exist or they don"t. I"m very clear about that. I have medicine." ~Jeremy Clockson
  20. "Sometimes I really think people ought to have to pass a proper exam before they"re allowed to have children." ~Susan Sto Helit
  21. "The assent of mankind must have been a boon to [the Auditors of Time]. At last there was a species that could be persuaded to shoot itself in the foot." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  22. "The wise man does not seek enlightenment, he waits for it. So while I was waiting, it occurred to me that seeking perplexity might be more fun. After all, enlightenment begins where perplexity ends. And I found perplexity. And a kind of enlightenment, too. I had not been [in Ankh-Morpork] five minutes, for example, when some men in an alley tried to enlighten me of what little I possessed, giving me a valuable lesson in the ridiculousness of material things." ~Lu-Tze
  23. "They can be dangerous, things that don"t look dangerous. Not looking dangerous is what makes them dangerous." ~Lu-Tze
  24. "But I can"t kill someone just because they"ve asked me to!" ~Lobsang Ludd
  25. "The only defense is to attack well, I"m told." ~Lu-Tze
  26. "When in doubt, chose to live." ~Lu-Tze
  27. "Y"know, most of what you get taught is lies. It has to be. Sometimes if you get the truth all at once, you can"t understand it." ~Lu-Tze
  28. "It"s very hard to get things done when you"re a supreme ruler. There"s too many people in the way, mucking things up." ~Lu-Tze
  29. "I"ll tell you, the day someone pulls the plug out of the bottom of the universe, the chain will lead all the way back to Ankh-Morpork and some [idiot] saying, "I just wanted to see what would happen."" ~Lu-Tze
  30. "Igor had to admit it. When it came to getting weird things done, sane beat mad hands down." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  31. "The Auditors hated questions. They hated them almost as much as they hated decisions, and they hated decisions almost as much as they hated the idea of the individual personality. But what they hated most was things moving around randomly." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  32. "It is essential for humans to use the personal pronoun. It divides the universe into two parts. The darkness behind the eyes, where the little voice is, and everything else. It is"a horrible feeling. It is like"being questioned all the time." ~Lady LeJean
  33. "Three times, eh? That"s a lot of times to go extinct. I mean, most species only manage it once, don"t they?" ~Lobsang Ludd
  34. "A species as crazy as [humans] couldn"t be allowed to survive." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  35. "Look, that"s why there"s rules, understand? So that you think before you break them." ~Lu-Tze
  36. "Always put off until tomorrow something which, tomorrow, you could put off until, let"s say, next year." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  37. "Among the very worst words that can be heard by anyone high in the air, the pair known as "uh-oh" possibly combines the maximum of bowel-knotting terror with the minimum wastage of breath." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  38. "We can find only one hundred and three names for green before the color becomes noticeably either blue or yellow." ~Miss Crimson
  39. "Lu-Tze had long considered that everything happens for a reason, except possibly football." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  40. "She was being harassed by her internal organs." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  41. "Seeing things a human shouldn"t have to see makes us human." ~Gytha "Nanny" Ogg
  42. "You look human, too. Human is a very popular look in these parts. You"d be amazed." ~Susan Sto Helit
  43. "Susan was sensible. It was, she knew, a major character flaw. It did not make you popular, or cheerful, and"this seemed to her to be the most unfair bit"it didn"t even make you right." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  44. "Do unto otters as you would have them do unto you." ~Koan 97 of The Way
  45. "Wizards and philosophers had found Chaos, which is Kaos with his hair combed and a tie on, and had found in the epitome of disorder a new order undreamed of. There are different kinds of rules. From the simple comes the complex, and from the complex comes a different kind of simplicity. Chaos is order in a mask"" ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  46. "Lu-Tze regarded the speaker. She looked like a society lady who had just had a really bad day in a threshing machine." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  47. "Fear, anger, envy"emotions bring you to life, which is a brief period just before you die." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  48. "In this world, after everyone panics, there"s always got to be someone to tip the wee out of the shoe." ~Susan Sto Helit
  49. "Think of everything. It"s an everyday word. But "everything" means"everything. It"s a much bigger word than "universe." And everything contains all possible things that can happen at all possible times in all possible worlds." ~Wen
  50. "There is no doubt that being human is incredibly difficult and cannot be mastered in one lifetime." ~Unity LeJean
  51. "In life, as in breakfast cereal, it is always best to read the instructions on the box." ~Lu-Tze
  52. "Even with nougat, you can have a perfect moment." ~Terry Pratchett, Thief of Time
  53. "Your body"s dying, Louis. Pay no attention." ~Lestat
  54. "You"ll soon run out of chickens, Louis." ~Lestat
  55. "Claudia, you"ve been a very, very naughty little girl." ~Lestat
  56. "No, you"re not drinking her blood now"" ~Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau
  57. "I need to pee, and my head"s broken. And my head"s in the clouds"" ~Duckie
  58. "Gossip briefly wondered if gossip had invented the whole story, but gossip decided that the worst interpretation of events was usually the safest and, in the end, the truest." ~Julian Barnes, "The Story of Mats Israelson"
  59. "Barbro"s anger was now with herself, as well. Of course she had never known him, never known what he was really like. She had merely indulged a stupid fantasy all these years." ~Julian Barnes, "The Story of Mats Israelson"
  60. "But there was a [Tartarus], and no matter where we moved to, I was in it." ~Louis
  61. "That was all you needed to know about the heart: where the grain lay. Then, with a twist, with a gesture, with a word, you could destroy it." ~Julian Barnes, "The Story of Mats Israelson"
  62. "This, then, was the desolation of her life, divided between not loving a man who deserved it and loving one who did not." ~Julian Barnes, "The Story of Mats Israelson"
  63. "Generally speaking, people who are very well do not go to the hospital." ~Axel Lindwall
  64. "I don"t expect you to understand this, and I am loathe to admit it myself, but the writer is necessary." ~Friedrich Wilhelm Murnau
  65. "The strength of the vampire is that people will not believe in him." ~Professor Abraham Van Helsing
  66. "What we anticipate seldom occurs; what we least expect generally happens." ~Benjamin Disraeli
  67. "Being proposed to is all very nice and all that sort of thing, but it isn"t at all a happy thing when you have to see a poor fellow, whom you know loves you honestly, going away and looking all broken-hearted"" ~Lucy Westenra
  68. "Little girl, your honesty and pluck have made me a friend, and that"s rarer than a lover; it"s more unselfish anyhow." ~Quincey P. Morris
  69. "I suppose there is something in a woman"s nature that makes a man free to break down before her and express his feelings on the tender or emotional side without feeling it derogatory to his manhood"" ~Mina Harker
  70. "We women have something of the mother in us that makes us rise above smaller matters when the mother-spirit is invoked; I felt this big, sorrowing man"s head resting on me, as though it were that of the baby that someday may lie on my bosom, and I stroked his hair as though he were my own child. I never thought at the time how strange it all was." ~Mina Harker
  71. "Friend Quincey is right! His head is what you call in plane with the horizon." ~Professor Van Helsing
  72. "I am the mayor of Funnytown for the next year." ~Jon Stewart
  73. "I"m just the last English twit, really." ~Colin Firth
  74. "You might, might want to vomit once or twice." ~Colin Firth promoting Love, Actually
  75. "Life is pleasant, death is peaceful. It"s the transition that"s troublesome." ~Isaac Asimov
  76. "Baley distrusted overstatement and had no liking for the armchair deducer who discovered certainty rather than probability in the workings of logic." ~Isaac Asimov The Naked Sun
  77. "Though I cannot share human reactions to stimuli, I would judge, from what has been imprinted on my instruction circuits, that the lady meets any reasonable standard of physical attractiveness. From your behavior, moreover, it seems to me that you were aware of that and that you approved of her appearance." ~R. Daneel Olivaw
  78. "Am I gonna have to get high just for this interview"?" ~Jon Stewart to Brendan Fraser
  79. "I won"t tell you what I do to me"" ~Brendan Fraser on Looney Tunes, Back in Action
  80. "I promise you"this movie is NOT Space Jam." ~Brendan Fraser on Looney Tunes, Back in Action
  81. "I have a kind of neutrality, physically, which has helped me. I have a face that can be made to look a lot better - or a lot worse." ~Colin Firth
  82. "I don"t mean to be rude, honestly, but I am not a piece of meat. I will not be talked to in this manner!" ~Jon Stewart
  83. "That was great. I really have never felt better." ~Louis Black after attacking a DVD player with a baseball bat
  84. "If you"re dumb enough to do crack, you"re supposed to die. It"s evolution." ~Joe Rogen
  85. "Mere words will not stay one whom murder never could." ~Oedipus
  86. "Oh, what anguish to be wise where wisdom is a loss!" ~Oedipus
  87. "This lady is his wife and mother"of his children." ~Chorus about Oedipus and Jocasta
  88. "At least your father"s death has lightened up the scene." ~Jocasta
  89. "No gods anywhere play chess. They haven"t got the imagination. Gods prefer simple, vicious games, where you Do Not Achieve Transcendence but Go Straight To Oblivion; a key to the understanding of all religion is that a god"s idea of amusement is Snakes and Ladders with greased rungs." ~Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
  90. I SAID WAS. IT"S CALLED THE PAST TENSE. YOU"LL SOON GET USED TO IT. ~Death
  91. "Things that try to look like things often do look more like things than things. Well-known fact." ~Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax
  92. "It was a rich and wonderful voice, with every diphthong gliding beautifully into place. It was a golden brown voice. It the Creator of the multiverse had a voice, it was a voice such as this. If it had a drawback, it was that it wasn"t a voice you could use, for example, for ordering coal. Coal ordered by this voice would become diamonds." ~Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
  93. "Actors had a habit of filling all the space around them." ~Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
  94. "Like most Ramtoppers, Granny lived her life via the back door. There were only three times in your life when it was proper to come through the front door, and you were carried every time." ~Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
  95. "You are also dead, so I wouldn"t aspire to hold any opinions if I was you." ~Gytha "Nanny" Ogg to the late King Verence I
  96. "The dead shouldn"t kill the living. It could be a dangerous wossname, precedent. We"d all be outnumbered, for one thing." ~Esmerelda "Granny" Weatherwax
  97. "Ninety percent of true love is acute, ear-burning embarrassment." ~Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
  98. "There are thousands of good reasons why magic doesn"t rule the world. They"re called witches and wizards." ~Magrat Garlick
  99. "It is very difficult to be prejudiced against creatures seven feet tall and who can bite through walls, at least for very long." ~Terry Pratchett, Wyrd Sisters
  100. "But I think you have a right to know what it is you"re not being told." ~The Fool

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