Quotes (Page 15)!

  1. "No offense, sir, but when I die, I plan to take enough people with me for it to be worth it." ~Drew Carey
  2. "Dad, I am not a lobster." ~Frasier Crane
  3. "Time is irrelevant here in the seventh circle of hell." ~Frasier Crane
  4. "By the way, I just learned that word. So you can answer how ever you like, because I"m not sure what I just said." ~Jon Stewart
  5. "I wanna say "China", but I don"t really mean "China." I just mean the places that Chinese people come from." ~Patrice O"Neal
  6. "The essence of what makes life beautiful is the fact that it can go away." ~Carlos Mencia
  7. "We was beat when we was born." ~Jack Kelly
  8. "You guys should try pulling pranks that don"t involve lying about the dead." ~Mike Nelson
  9. "At least some oboe player got a paycheck out of all this horse hockey." ~Mike Nelson
  10. "You have learned the art of moving fast and ineffectively." ~Ms. Gibson
  11. "I don"t care because I have the crack cookies." ~Duckie
  12. "But seriously, is this a good idea? Should I make crack cookies." ~Duckie
  13. "Rejection kills. Disappointment only maims." ~Abby Barnes
  14. "Ow." ~Jeff Davis in response to "A doo-wop song about a girl named Peggy who died in a tragic taxidermy accident."
  15. "That"s interesting." ~Captain Jack Sparrow
  16. "Funny ole world, iddn"t it?" ~Captain Jack Sparrow
  17. "Why"s the rum gone?" ~Captain Jack Sparrow
  18. "Must"ve been terrible for you to"ve been trapped here, Jack. Must"ve been terrible. Well it bloody is now!" ~Captain Jack Sparrow
  19. "Women in London must have learned not to breathe." ~Elizabeth Swann
  20. "Stop blowing holes in my ship." ~Captain Jack Sparrow
  21. "If you're going to war over religion, now you're just getting into a fight over who has the better imaginary friend." ~Richard Jeni
  22. "I"m not lonely, I just don"t like people." ~Robert Hawkins
  23. "Not all treasure is silver and gold, mate." ~Captain Jack Sparrow
  24. "I think maybe knowing a lot about the world makes you go crazy." ~Duckie in response to "I love how it"s always the psychotic characters that are the wisest."
  25. "We don"t need Christianity. We"re in Egypt!" ~Duckie during The Mummy Returns
  26. "Animators integrated aspects of the actors' appearances and personalities [into The Road to El Dorado]: Kline is manic; Branagh, romantic." ~Parade
  27. "If it"s bad, you"ve gone too far." ~Kenneth Branagh on how far you can go with Shakespeare
  28. "Of the two of us I am the only one who hasn't committed mutiny, therefore my word is the one we'll be trusting." ~Captain Jack Sparrow
  29. "The fact is I was going to not tell Barbossa about bloody Will in exchange for a ship, because as long as he didn't know about bloody Will, I had something to bargain with. Which now no one has, thanks to bloody stupid Will." ~Captain Jack Sparrow
  30. "Never make fun of the popular funny guy." ~Drew Carey about Colin Mochrie
  31. "I wanna smoke pot, but I can"t, cause I"m too paranoid." ~Drew Barrymore
  32. "First of all, there are many women out there who would like their boyfriends to look like Christian Bale." ~Kurt Wimmer on why Equilibrium tested marginally better with women than with men
  33. "Lord, if you think I"m making lemon squares for your bake sale on Sunday, you"d better stop killing our cats!" ~Marge Simpson
  34. "Sometimes when you look in his eyes you get the feeling that someone else is driving." ~David Letterman
  35. "I believe in looking reality straight in the eye and denying it." ~Garrison Keillor
  36. "TV is chewing gum for the eyes." ~Frank Lloyd Wright
  37. "You cannot depend on your eyes when your imagination is out of focus." ~Mark Twain
  38. "The mind of a bigot is like the pupil of the eye. The more light you shine on it, the more it will contract." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes Jr.
  39. "Don't let people drive you crazy when you know it's in walking distance." ~Unknown
  40. "There's a fine line between genius and insanity. I have erased this line." ~Oscar Levant
  41. "Sanity calms, but madness is more interesting." ~John Russell
  42. "To disagree with three-fourths of the British public is one of the first requisites of sanity." ~Oscar Wilde
  43. "Insanity destroys reason, but not wit." ~Nathaniel Emmons
  44. "Insanity is often the logic of an accurate mind overtaxed." ~Oliver Wendell Holmes
  45. "Love, n - A temporary insanity curable by marriage." ~Ambrose Bierce, The Devil"s Dictionary
  46. "I could have used a parakeet. But that would have been silly." ~Kurt Wimmer discussing whether the puppy was manipulative
  47. "William [Fichtner] is one of the few American actors I"ve had the privilege of working with who actually meets or exceeds the abilities of his English counterparts." ~Kurt Wimmer
  48. "So, Christian kicks everybody"s [tail feathers], and he doesn"t have a scratch on him. A lot of people love this, some people don"t. It"s just a matter of taste. I personally like my heroes to just whip-[tail feather] and that"s that." ~Kurt Wimmer
  49. "I kid because I"m on basic cable." ~Jon Stewart
  50. "That"s a peppy dirge..." ~Jon Stewart
  51. "When you target an audience, it gets lost trying to reach them, so write to the world instead" ~Nicole
  52. "You"re not Castro, you"re the librarian!" ~Brittany
  53. "I"m seventeen. I"ll be able to vote in a year. I can smoke cigarettes. I can die for my country. I can get porn. I don"t even have to be in school. I can be living on my own. But I can"t pee when I want to?! Who else sees a problem with that?" ~Nicole on seminar
  54. "I can buy lotto tickets, but that doesn"t seem as important as being able to pee." ~Nicole on seminar
  55. "Luke, I am your second uncle twice removed." ~Chip Esten
  56. "I don"t want a smaller version of me running around doing things I don"t know about. The real version of me is hard enough to control and I have a rough enough time explaining to people why he did what he did." ~Mike Nelson, Mind over Matters
  57. "Allow me to sing of tater tots." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  58. "I acknowledge that it"s a great film, and I still hated it. I hate films that start out with a depressing premise and plummet from there. They"re like Nine Inch Nails songs. Besides, I"m not a big catharsis fan. I can get sad enough without some genius filmmaker helping me along." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  59. "Ultimate nachos tend to appear everywhere, and once again I"m reminded that nobody knows what the word "ultimate" means, or it wouldn"t be on a menu. "Ultimate," even broadly defined, means last, final, altogether remote in the universe. That"s not how I like to think of my nachos. I don"t want to look at that massive platter of corn chips, "topped" as they are with beef, chicken, or plain, thinking they may be my last nachos." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  60. "If the English do anything better than any other country on the planet, it"s making each other laugh." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  61. "In all, I think I slept an average of three and a half hours every twenty-four, and while I probably couldn"t operate anything more complicated than a flashlight, I was in the perfect frame of mind to see movies." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  62. "I"d like to find the people who invented the pop-up ad and push their heads into a vat of suet, because that"s what they"ve been doing to me." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  63. "Movies should be neither a waste of time nor a waste of money; that"s what television is for." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  64. "Italian, spoken with sufficient vehemence, becomes very lyrical, anger riding up the scale, fury speeding the rhythm." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  65. "Ah, but there is something wonderful about dating the one you love. No offence to the others, but it"s much better than dating family and friends, and less apt to lead to morally dangerous situations and problems with the county authorities." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  66. "To genuinely evoke fear, a movie can"t simply address our fears, it has to dig them out of where we hide them, in our subconscious. Find a filmmaker who can draw from our subconscious and show it to us, and you have a true master of horror. Like Poe." ~Kevin Murphy, A Year at the Movies: One Man"s Filmgoing Odyssey
  67. "It"s a fine life/watchin" all these hot guys sing and dance/it"s really cute/it"s a fine life/sitting on my butt...something something." ~Duckie"s version of "Carryin" the Banner"
  68. "You"re up for the broken elbow, then. I meet you in a back alley and break your elbow." ~Ms. Gibson about not taking the AP Lit test
  69. "It"s really bad with Mr. Jaffurs AND me waiting in the alley." ~Ms. Gibson
  70. "I don"t have all the answers. I"ve never been dead before." ~Ensign Ro
  71. "Does shutting down the computer mean you can"t use Microsoft Word?" ~Anonymous idiot
  72. "I"m preparing you to get ready for the test." ~Mr. Marburger
  73. "It just chills." ~Someone in my Physics class commenting on the fact that thermal energy does not readily change forms
  74. "Divorce is a wonderful thing." ~Marshall
  75. "Swings aren"t a lot of fun when they slam into the ground at the bottom." ~Mr. Marburger
  76. "I didn"t die once that entire time." ~Jason
  77. "Whales sleep?!" ~Anonymous idiot
  78. "Bushy"s been frying "em up in Texas for years." ~Tameika
  79. "He was a very quasi-religious man." ~Mr. Marburger
  80. "You"d be in China." ~Anonymous idiot in response to "What would happen if you dug a big hole about half of the way through the earth?"
  81. "Naw, I thought you meant her wallet." ~Duckie in response to "She paid the ultimate price...her life."
  82. "So, if you place a baby in a vacuum..." ~Kat
  83. "I don"t want her to sit in syrup all period. That"s not fun." ~Mr. Marburger
  84. "It"s not really learning unless there is the potential for not being able to do it." ~Mr. Marburger
  85. "Don"t do it. There"s enough SAFE ways to blow things up...I"m not telling you to go out and blow something up..." ~Mr. Marburger on welding wrenches to car batteries
  86. "That"s technically not correct. In fact, that"s flat-out wrong." ~Mr. Jaffurs
  87. "It"s the infinity inside the box." ~Lily
  88. "The sky isn"t lush." ~Lily
  89. "I do not want the State of the Union to ever rhyme." ~Tameika on Al Sharpton
  90. "I want to get you into an argument." ~Mr. Jaffurs at the beginning of class February 24, 2004
  91. "His diction was like a handgun " the bullets were small and made little impact." ~Kenny
  92. "Tractors don"t have armor." ~Joel
  93. "I don"t know why the Russians would shoot a random tractor." ~Joel
  94. "It"s a good tractor. I"m sure it would rock at farming, but it"s not very efficient at running from the Russians." ~Joel
  95. "Gentlemen, thaw your chickens." ~Jaime Hyneman
  96. "That can't be necessary...I don't recognize it." ~Adam Savage while taking apart a washing machine
  97. "Have you seen The Passion of Shirt?" ~Preston
  98. "The earth is a used Kleenex on the universe's nightstand." ~Colin Quinn
  99. "You listen to the music and you"d like to sing along/You want to get the meaning out of each and every song/Then you find yourself a message and some words to call your own/And take "em home." ~Bread, "The Guitar Man"
  100. "There never seems to be enough time to do the things you want to do when you find "em." ~Jim Croce, "Time in a Bottle"

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